But what exactly makes someone ‘bubbly’? Is it just their perpetual smile or is there more to this captivating trait? The truth is, this personality type is pretty straightforward, but there are elements to it you probably haven’t considered. 

So let’s dive in to uncover more about this great personality type. If you’ve ever wondered what makes your bubbly friends so special, this article will shed some light. 

What does it mean to have a bubbly personality?

When you think of a bubbly personality, you probably think of someone who’s smiling, laughing, and talking a lot in a cheerful tone of voice.

Well, that’s pretty spot-on for a bubbly personality. According to the Collins Dictionary, a bubbly person is: 

“Someone who is very lively and cheerful and talks a lot.” 

With just this one criteria, this leaves room for a very broad range of people to be characterized as “bubbly”. 

For example, there is no particular MBTI personality that constitutes the “bubbly personality” — in fact, any personality that has the letter “E”, standing for extraversion, could be bubbly. Many people believe that the ENFP is generally the closest to being bubbly, but there is lots of variation, and many others disagree with that. 

I myself have a close friend who is an ENFP, and he could definitely be characterized as “bubbly”. However, I also have a friend who is an INFJ, who is perhaps even more bubbly than him. 

There is clearly no particular profile that is “bubbly” — there can be as many beautiful variations and shades of “bubbliness” as there are people. But one thing is for sure, and that’s that these people are generally very well-liked. Let’s have a quick look at why.

Why people like bubbly personalities

Why is the bubbly personality so popular?

It’s quite obvious that people would much rather be around someone who’s happy rather than a constant grouch. But do you know why?

Research explains that being around happy people makes us happier too. In fact, you don’t even need to be in direct contact with them. This effect even extends to friends of friend’s friends! No wonder bubbly people have such an easy time making friends — they literally brighten up people’s lives. 

But what about how they feel themselves? Let’s take a look at the relationship between bubbliness and happiness. 

Are bubbly people always happy?

As bubbly people generally look and act happy, some people equate a bubbly personality to a happy person. But there’s an important distinction to make between bubbliness and happiness.

They are, of course, closely related. But bubbliness is more about the social behavior of a person. On the other hand, happiness is a long-term emotional state of well-being. A person can be very happy with their life without being bubbly. For example, I know many quiet and serious personalities who are living extremely fulfilled and happy lives. 

This contrast is harder the other way around: it’s difficult to appear cheerful all the time if you are very unhappy. So it’s safe to say that bubbly people are generally happy people, at least from the short-term perspective. Even so, some people are still positive and pleasant to be around even when they themselves feel negative emotions.

This is what researchers describe as “affective presence” — the way you make others feel, irrespective of the way you yourself feel.

A bubbly friend of mine is an excellent example of this. Even when I knew she was feeling down, sick, or upset, she was still able to communicate with a smile on her face. You could barely hear any negative emotion in her voice, and she continued to make everyone around her feel welcome and wanted.     

Clearly, bubbly people are wonderful to have around. Let’s look at the signs of a bubbly personality so you can recognize who these people are in your life.  

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

6 signs you have a bubbly personality

How do you really know if someone has a bubbly personality? Here are 6 telltale signs!

1. They speak dynamically

One of the unmistakable signs of a bubbly personality is the dynamic way they communicate.

Ashley Howard, a professional voice coach, emphasizes that the manner in which a person speaks conveys a lot about them. This is not just about the words they choose, but also how they deliver them.

These key elements contribute to a bubbly speaking style:

• Vocal dynamism: Bubbly people use a range of tones and intonations in their voices. This vocal variety keeps listeners engaged and conveys enthusiasm.
• Breathing techniques: Their breathing patterns aid in projecting their voice confidently, enhancing their presence in a conversation.
• Physical expression: They are expressive not only with their voice but also with their body language. Gestures and facial expressions play a crucial role in making their communication lively and engaging.
• Rhetorical devices: The use of figures of speech and rhetorical devices adds flair to their language, making their conversation more captivating.

2. They make friends easily 

Individuals with a bubbly personality have an exceptional ability to connect with a wide array of people, making new friends seem almost effortless. They can do this even if they don’t have common interests or a shared background — because their secret is their ability to communicate. They approach every person with a positive attitude, a smile, and a willingness to strike up a conversation.

This makes others feel like the bubbly person likes them. And science has shown that we like people who like us. 

In professional settings, such as offices, those with bubbly personalities are often invaluable for fostering a sense of community. They are great at creating bonds among co-workers that transcend mere work-related interactions such as asking for help or passing on information.

3. They love being around people

Because bubbly people are usually in a good mood, they often attract many people around them, and end up being the center of attention. They’re the ones who liven up any party, are able to cheer up those around them, and in general create a fun time. This is a by-product of their personality, but it’s also something bubbly people usually enjoy — who doesn’t want to be liked by everyone?

Their personality makes socializing easy, and therefore stress-free and enjoyable. Research even shows that being in a good mood makes people show more kindness to others. And being kind to others in turn makes you happier. 

4. They’re passionate about life

One thing you’ll be sure to notice about bubbly people is their infectious enthusiasm for life. They want to experience all that life has to offer, and they do it with all the energy and passion they’ve got. They know how to enjoy even the simple, mundane moments, like cooking dinner or relaxing in bed. 

And of course, they have a drive to do big things with their life too. This might be doing the things on their bucket list, trying new experiences, or going fully after their goals. Whatever the case, bubbly people are often the ones to “make things happen”. This can be very inspirational to others as an example of how to live life to the fullest. 

5. They’re emotionally expressive

We all hide some feelings from time to time — thankfully! But bubbly people tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves. They’re the ones whose laughter fills a room and whose tears are quick to show in moments of sadness. When they’re passionate about something, you can see it in their animated gestures and hear it in their lively voice. They liven up every conversation and life in general. 

More than that, they usually feel emotions very vividly and fully. They aren’t just for show — bubbly people have an endearing rawness and honesty to their emotions.

This is another reason why they’re easy to get along with. You can be pretty sure you know where you stand as if the person is upset, they will probably show it. 

6. They’re optimistic

They say that what you look for is what you find. Perception can impact everything about your life — a happy person and a sad person viewing the same painting may have very different interpretations of it.

That’s why bubbly people are often able to find the positive in situations, even when it’s hard to find. Their overall happy nature primes them to see good things around them, and they tend to attract more of it to themselves. Moreover, they are often able to create good out of difficult situations. This optimism reinforces their bubbly nature, as it’s been shown that optimism increases happiness. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Now you know more about bubbly people, including what it means to be one and 6 signs to spot one. Hopefully, you recognize many bubbly people in your life — perhaps you even are one yourself!

Though personalities are not something we are able to change about ourselves, we can all take steps to become more positive, cheerful people no matter what our personality type is. Take a look around at some of our other articles, and you’ll find plenty of tips to help you get started!

Do you know another telltale sign of someone with a bubbly personality? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 6 Telltale Signs of a Bubbly Personality (and Its Meaning and Traits) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

It’s hard to argue with that. We spend more time with ourselves than anyone else. Yet, our impressions are often biased, embellished, or downright deluded. If we gain clarity with self-reflection, we’ll enjoy better relationships, self-esteem, and success. But reflecting on yourself is also associated with depression and negative thoughts. And many get stuck in reflecting without leading to any progress. What’s the right approach if your goal is both personal growth and happiness?

We’ve got the answers in this detailed guide. We’ll discuss 12 tips to effectively reflect on yourself in a way that’s both healthy and insightful.

What does it mean to reflect on yourself?

Let’s start with the basics: what does it mean to reflect on yourself?

According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, self-reflection is the examination, contemplation, and analysis of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

So you reflect on yourself anytime you ponder questions like these:

• Where does this opinion come from?
• What are my emotions right now?
• What outcome do I want to achieve?

Essentially, it’s any question that makes you delve deeper into who you are and what makes you that way. 

What is the goal of reflecting on yourself? 

Reflecting on yourself is a process. But you don’t do it for its own sake. Eventually, this process should lead to self-awareness, self-knowledge, and self-insight. 

For example, after reflecting on yourself you might realize “I’m not a morning person” or “I have trust issues with my family.” 

It’s key to have this goal in mind because the benefits of reflecting on yourself don’t actually come from the process of self-reflection itself. Rather, they come from its results — the insights you gather. 

These are so useful that a growing number of experts believe self-awareness is a key driver of improvement.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Different types of self-awareness

There are countless things we can learn about ourselves. What kind of insight should you try to gain — that would benefit you the most?

There are actually two different kinds of self-awareness, each associated with great benefits: 

1. Internal self-awareness (how clearly you see yourself).
2. External self-awareness (how well you understand how other people see you).

You might think that being good at one kind of self-awareness automatically makes you good at the other too. But research has found there is actually no relationship between them. 

We end up with four different profiles, each with a different set of opportunities to improve:

(Source) 

Research shows that the greatest benefits come from having high levels of both types of self-awareness. So if you’re not in the upper-right corner of the chart, work on increasing the type you’re missing.

But even if you think you’re already “fully aware,” it’s still a good idea to reflect on yourself more. Eurich found that most leaders believe they are self-aware, but only about 10-15% of them really are.

The benefits of reflecting on yourself

At this point, you might be thinking, “Why should I reflect on myself? It all sounds awfully time-consuming.”

You’re right that it takes time — but actually, that seems to be the one main drawback to self-reflection! When you do it properly, all its other effects are wonderful benefits that can make your life a lot better.

Let’s have a look at the main benefits of reflecting on yourself. 

1. Reflecting on yourself fosters personal growth

You may have already heard that people attribute their successes to internal factors like their effort and skills, and their failures to external circumstances out of their control. 

This might be a good coping mechanism to maintain a positive self-image. But clearly, we also have success due to good luck and failure due to our inexperience or poor skills. Imagine how hard it will be to make progress in life if we continue to tell ourselves the opposite! 

Reflecting on yourself helps you face these uncomfortable truths and achieve real personal growth. It can also dramatically improve your problem-solving abilities and resilience.  

2. It boosts your self-esteem

When you get to know yourself through self-reflection, you’ll have an accurate picture of your strengths and shortcomings. 

So when you do well, you can recognize how you contributed to your success and celebrate your hard work.

And when you do poorly, you can understand where you fell short and how you can improve for next time, making you more confident to try again. 

3. It increases your motivation and performance

Are you trying to learn a foreign language, a new instrument, or a challenging skill? Incorporate self-reflection into your routine to boost your performance. 

This means setting goals, tracking your progress, and reflecting on your efforts. Language students who self-reflected in this way showed better motivation, consistency, and progress.

For extra motivation, get regular feedback from your teacher or fellow learners. This increases external self-reflection. Study participants mentioned this as particularly helpful.

4. It helps you fit well into society

As you reflect on yourself, you also discover what makes you different from others. You thus get better at understanding and empathizing with other people’s perspectives. 

At the same time, you improve your own behavior in the context of various social situations. Self-awareness uncovers our true motivations and pushes us to act in more ethical ways.

For example, a study found that more self-aware people were less likely to lie, cheat, and steal. 

Does reflecting on yourself make you happier?

If you’ve already done some research on how to reflect on yourself, you may have come across some mixed findings related to happiness.

Here at Tracking Happiness, we’re all about clarity, understanding, and a science-backed approach. This article wouldn’t be worth anything if we didn’t consider all sides of an argument. 

So let’s break it down: does self-reflection increase happiness?

Self reflection can increase happiness

In the context of the benefits described above, self-reflection certainly improves your life, success, and happiness. 

Reflecting on yourself also leads to happiness directly. This seems to be the case, especially for moderately happy people when they reflect on meaningful events.

This might be because it helps them set meaningful goals, which are strongly linked to greater happiness.

So reflecting on yourself increases happiness:

• If you are moderately happy (and want to be happier).
• If you reflect on meaningful events that help you set meaningful goals.

When reflecting on yourself decreases happiness

It’s interesting to note that self-reflection can decrease happiness for extremely happy people. Researchers speculate this might be because the studies that found this asked participants to reflect on trivial things. 

Another interesting finding is that self-reflection may make it hard to maintain happiness. For example, people who did an act of kindness felt it was more selfish after reflecting on it. Researchers compare this to finding a flaw in a beautiful painting after examining it closely. 

But many of these negative effects arise because we self-reflect the wrong way. We get stuck in the reflection stage without moving towards insights. Or worse, we fall into the trap of self-rumination (more on this later). 

So reflecting on yourself can decrease happiness:

• If you are already very happy (and your reflections make you fixate on trivial flaws).
• If you approach reflecting on yourself in the wrong way.

How to reflect on yourself to increase your happiness

So what’s the bottom line?

The benefits listed earlier make one thing clear. Self-reflection is an incredibly useful tool that we can and should leverage. But we need to strike a careful balance between two things:

1. Gaining an accurate understanding of ourselves. 
2. Maintaining a positive self-image. 

How do we do that? Let’s break it down into actionable steps. 

12 science-backed ways to reflect on yourself effectively

Follow these tips on how to reflect on yourself to achieve both personal growth and happiness. 

1. Choose meaningful topics

As mentioned above, reflecting on trivial matters can lead to negativity and depression. 

So start by choosing carefully what you want to reflect on. 

We all make mistakes on a daily basis. If we had to sit and analyze each one, we’d never get out of our chairs! Not every small blunder you make is worth analyzing. 

Ask questions like these to filter out the meaningful topics:

• Does it have a lasting impact on my life, or does it relate to a lasting area of my life?
• Is it something that happens often, in the same way, or in similar ways?
• Does it relate to one of my core values or beliefs?
• Does it cause me or someone else significant discomfort or pain?

If you’re especially hard on yourself, it might feel like every mistake is a big deal. Then try considering it from a third-person perspective:

• If this happened to someone you know (or even a total stranger), would you think it was a big deal? Would you recommend they spend hours thinking about it? 

2. Focus on problem-solving 

Scientists suggest there are two ways to reflect on yourself:

1. Problem-focused: reflecting on insights learned and how best to reach your goals. 
2. Self-focused: trying to understand, contain, or eliminate your negative emotions, thoughts, or reactions. 

As you might guess, the self-focused method leads to negative feelings and self-rumination. On the other hand, the problem-focused approach leads to inspiration and future progress. 

To get into the right mindset, consider why you want to reflect on yourself before you start. You probably have a specific reason: maybe you want to learn something, process a memory, or drop a bad habit. 

Articulating this reason helps focus your thoughts in the right direction. Write it down on paper and create a mind map as you reflect to make sure your thoughts all connect back to it. 

One important caveat: the approach was named “problem-focused,” but focus on solutions instead. This is an extra layer of protection to keep your thinking constructive and positive. 

Frame questions in this way too. So instead of “What difficulty am I facing right now?”, ask:

• “What would I like this situation to look like a month from now?”
• “What is one possible solution to this problem?”
• “What is one way I could start to move toward creating this solution?

3. Get feedback from others

Researchers point out a seeming paradox: 

The road to self-knowledge likely cannot be traveled alone but must be traveled with close others who can help shed light on our blind spots.

So as you reflect, ask for input from people close to you. Researchers found the best self-awareness comes from getting feedback from “loving critics.” These are people who have your best interests in mind and are willing to tell you the truth. 

Also, be on the lookout for indirect feedback. It is everywhere around you. A performance review from your boss. A passing comment from a friend. Or even a look from a stranger on the bus. These are all forms of feedback on you and your behavior. 

But don’t get too swept away by what others think of you. Nor should you jump to wild conclusions. Get a range of feedback, so you don’t overreact or overcorrect based on one person’s impressions.  

For more information, Thanks for the Feedback is an excellent book on understanding and accepting feedback. It completely changed my approach to personal growth and improving my relationships.

4. Make it a regular practice (with time limits)

Few things produce noticeable results after one day. 

If you want real benefits from reflecting on yourself, you’ll have to make it into a regular practice. Just like going to the gym or learning a new language. 

Psychotherapist Haley Neidich suggests incorporating self-reflection into a daily mindfulness practice. It can be journaling or even a sitting meditation where you allow your mind to explore.

But it’s best to set a time limit for these sessions.

Why?

It keeps you from getting carried away or sucked into a cycle of repetitive thoughts. 

It’s hard to realize that this is happening in the moment. But hearing a timer can snap you out of it. Resist the urge to keep going and move on to another activity.

5. Don’t overthink your feelings

Self-reflection is hardly a new concept. In fact, psychologist Wilhelm Wundt used it heavily in his research in the 19th century. He had a meticulous method to make participants describe their thoughts objectively and accurately. 

The main criticism of this technique was that the very process of self-reflection can change what you’re reflecting on. 

For example, when you try to describe your feelings, you have to stop and think about them. This interruption and attention can cause your feelings to shift. So your reflection will not be accurate anymore. 

To mitigate this effect, don’t spend too much time analyzing your thoughts and feelings. If you’re journaling, write down the first thing that comes to mind. If it doesn’t feel right, just keep writing and searching until you find the words that click. 

6. Watch out for dysfunctional attitudes 

When we reflect on ourselves, we have to be honest. We cannot ignore our weaknesses and delude ourselves into thinking that we are perfect. 

But focusing on the negative counteracts the benefits of self-reflection.

A study looked at the relationship between happiness, self-reflection, self-rumination, and self-insight. It found that self-insight is most related to happiness. Self-reflection can lead to self-insight (discovering new parts of yourself). However, dysfunctional attitudes seem to prevent this result. 

Dysfunctional attitudes are beliefs that lead to negative thoughts about yourself, others, and the future. They often lead to depression. 

They can be thoughts like:

• “If I fail at my work, then I am a failure as a person.”
• “People will think less of me if I make a mistake.”

This is part of the reason why some studies find self-reflection creates more anxiety. The more self-reflection you do, the easier it is for negative attitudes to creep in.

So keep an eye out for these negative thoughts and don’t let them take over your process. They can be easier to catch if you write your thoughts down. 

Discard them, and self-reflection leads to more self-insight, which leads to better well-being.

7. Ask “what” rather than “why” questions

How often do you ask yourself “why”?

Why do I feel so angry at my boss? Why can’t I get through my whole to-do list? Why is sandwich meat round when bread is square?

On the surface, “why” can seem like a logical question. But in fact, it makes us miserable. 

When we ask “why”, our brains point to an explanation that confirms our pre-existing beliefs. And usually, you make connections between things that are completely unrelated. 

For example, let’s say you’re a new manager and you feel a little insecure in your new role. One stressful day, you snap at an employee. You might conclude that you’re not cut out for management. But in reality, it was just a case of low blood sugar. 

The problem here isn’t just that we are wrong, it’s also that we are extremely confident that we are right. So it’s extremely hard to find the real answer. Meanwhile, we worsen our fears, shortcomings, and insecurities. 

So what should you ask instead?

Researchers found that the most self-aware people tend to ask “what”. These questions keep you objective, future-focused, and empowered to act on your insights. They also help you accept difficult truths and become a better person. 

Here are some examples:

• “Why do I feel so terrible?” → “What are the situations that make me feel terrible, and what do they have in common?”
• “Why did my coworker say this about me?” → “What are the steps I need to take in the future to do a better job?”
• “Why is my business failing?” → “What do I need to do to move forward in a way that minimizes the impact on our customers and employees?”

8. Don’t place too much importance on your experience and power

Do you have a large amount of experience or power at work?

You might think this makes you especially good at self-awareness. But unfortunately, research shows this isn’t the case.

More experienced managers tend to be less accurate in assessing their leadership effectiveness compared to less experienced managers. Similarly, those with more power tend to overestimate their skills and abilities. 

This pattern was true for nearly all competencies tested, including:

• Emotional self-awareness.
• Empathy.
• Trustworthiness.

Your experience and power are great accomplishments. But it doesn’t mean much when it comes to knowing yourself. 

9. Journal to explore new topics

Journals are excellent tools to reflect on yourself.

The act of writing things down helps you slow down so you can analyze your thoughts.

Seeing words on the page also helps you recognize negative thoughts, or when you’re veering off track.

But specially made self-reflection journals also help you discover new parts of yourself. 

When we write or think freely, we often gravitate to the same questions or revisit stale problems. On the other hand, journals can provide us with a wide range of curated prompts to think about. 

Here are two that I personally love:

• Made out of Stars by Meera Lee Patel
• Practice You: A Journal by Elena Brower

Each page has a thought-provoking question and a beautiful design to inspire you. 

10. Follow-up with self-management 

How many times have you told yourself you will finally hit the gym, volunteer, or read more often?

We’re much better at thinking and planning than following through on those plans.

For example, you might realize you tend to talk too much in meetings. But you keep doing it again and again. You might believe you have too many important points to skip. Or you’re so used to your usual pattern that it feels uncomfortable to do things differently. 

But the whole point of reflecting on yourself is to move towards happiness and self-development. So if you discover key self-insight or get helpful feedback, follow through and self-manage. 

This is the conscious choice to resist a preference or habit. Instead, you choose more productive behavior. Self-management has four steps:

1. Be present. Pay attention to what is happening right now, not 15 minutes ago or your next meeting. In our example: “I’m focused on this conversation, really listening to everyone’s comments.”
2. Be self-aware. What are you seeing, hearing, feeling, doing, saying, and thinking? For example: “I notice I’m excited and eager to share my ideas. I also recognize many people in the room are trying to speak. I know I have a tendency to speak too often in meetings, which can stop others from participating.”
3. Identify a range of action choices. What do you want to do next? What are the possible consequences of each choice of action? What feedback have you gotten that might help you make a good choice? What are some alternative choices, even if they’re not what you usually do or want to do?  For example: “I could explain my ideas, ask a helpful question, invite others to share their ideas, or listen silently.”
4. Choose the most productive actions. What action will create the best outcome, even if it’s not the easiest action? For example: “I’m going to withhold my comments and instead listen to what others are saying. Even though I really want to share my ideas, I’ve been repeatedly told that I talk too much, and don’t give others a chance to contribute. If I listen now, I will finally be giving others that chance.”

11. Plan ahead

It can be tricky to turn self-reflection into tangible improvement in our lives. We’re creatures of habit, and bad habits can be hard to break. 

Our best safeguard against inaction is to plan ahead. 

First, identify where you want to self-manage. How do you typically operate, and where is your current approach not working as well as you’d like? 

Next, consider what’s driving your lack of self-management. Is it because you lack awareness at the moment, you want to look good, or you’re insecure? Understanding why we make our choices is crucial to changing them. 

Then come up with alternative choices in advance and your possible reactions to them. 

For example, if you talk too much in meetings, another option is to wait until someone else speaks before giving your opinion. Your reaction to this idea might be fear that someone else will make your point and you won’t get “credit” for it. Or that other people won’t have good ideas and thus a bad decision will be made. 

This will confirm why you struggle with self-management. It will also prepare you to work through these difficulties.

Finally, create a plan for concrete steps to take. For example, you can decide in advance how many times you will speak in a meeting and for how long. Or decide in which meetings you will only listen and not speak. 

Now all that’s left to do is practice and repeat the process. 

12. Avoid the trap of self-rumination 

Self-rumination feels a lot like self-reflection because you are in fact reflecting on yourself. But it doesn’t lead to any helpful insights or positive changes. Instead, it creates discomfort in the short term and lowers psychological well-being in the long term. 

Researchers define self-rumination as “a form of negative, chronic, and persistent self-focus that is motivated by perceived threats, losses, or injustices to the self and is associated with neuroticism and depression.”

In simpler terms, you’re self-ruminating if your thoughts:

1. Are constant or repetitive, without leading to any insight.
2. Relate to things that could hurt you, opportunities you’ve missed, or times you’ve been wronged.
3. Make you feel bad.

They are often about inconsequential mistakes or painful memories from long ago. For example:

• That embarrassing slip-up during a presentation three years ago.
• That joke that came out wrong during the first date that never panned out.
• That time when you fell in the middle of the dance performance and the audience laughed.

If you realize you’re self-ruminating, turn your attention to something in your surroundings. It could be the color of someone’s shirt, the noise in the background, or the feeling of the chair you’re sitting on. This will ground you back in reality and pull you out of your negative thoughts. Take a break if you need to, then use the 11 tips above to get back on track. 

If you struggle with self-rumination, consider practicing self-reflection with a licensed counselor who can guide you through it.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Now you know the benefits of self-reflection and 11 science-backed ways to reflect on yourself effectively. I hope this gives you the tools needed to make positive changes. Remember that everything in life is a continuous process. As you practice self-reflection, you’ll get better at it with each new self-discovery you make.

What do you think? Do you find happiness and self-awareness after you reflect on yourself? What’s your favorite tip from this article? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 12 Tips to Effectively Reflect On Yourself (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

You know it’s possible because you see others around you have it. And that could easily evoke jealousy, but instead, let it inspire you. Because the fact that other people have it means that it’s possible to achieve in the first place. In this article, we’ll look at some ways that you can too. This isn’t about chanting mantras or relying on mere luck. We’re talking real, actionable ways to shift your mindset and habits to open the doors to abundance and prosperity. 

Understandably, there are no guarantees — but as someone who used to Google this question myself, and has tried all the tips below firsthand, I can tell you they have real power. So let’s dive in and see if they can help you achieve your dreams too. 

9 ways to attract abundance and prosperity into your life

Manifesting abundance and prosperity is clearly something all of us want. And the good news is, it’s possible for all of us too. Here are 9 specific ways how.

1. Use gratitude

From a spiritual perspective, gratitude is the way to attract abundance into your life. You may have heard of the concept “What you appreciate, appreciates”. Practically any manifestation teacher teaches this in one wording or another.

For example, here is an excerpt from Conversations with God: 

You will not have that for which you ask, nor can you have anything you want. This is because your very request is a statement of lack, and your saying you want a thing only works to produce that precise experience — wanting — in your reality. 

The correct prayer is therefore never a prayer of supplication, but a prayer of gratitude. 

When you thank God in advance for that which you choose to experience in your reality, you, in effect, acknowledge that it is there… in effect. Thankfulness is thus the most powerful statement to God; an affirmation that even before you ask, I have answered. 

Therefore never supplicate. Appreciate.”

Even if we discard all of these arguments, there are immense health and psychological benefits to practicing gratitude. So if gratitude doesn’t bring abundance and prosperity in the financial sense, it does at least in terms of your happiness and wellbeing. 

2. Stop demonizing money

Let’s dive into a thought that manifestation coach Kathrin Zenkina often brings up regarding wealth and abundance. 

Many people, deep down, really want to have wealth and abundance, but they also demonize it. They believe that rich people are evil, that money just corrupts people, that people with a lot of money waste it and ruin the planet, that they are selfish and snobby, and arrogant. Well, does that sound like something you truly want in your life?

A lot of us, without even realizing it, are in this weird love-hate relationship with money. We want it, but then we also demonize it. “Rich people are evil,” “Money corrupts,” “Rich people waste money,” and so on. Does that sound like something you’d eagerly accept an abundance of?

You end up with a very powerful subconscious block. If you do get money, you feel guilty, because all the things you used to say about rich people now apply to you. And of course, you don’t want to become one of them — so you resist it.

To change this narrative, it’s very necessary to realize one thing: money, in itself, isn’t evil. It’s like your hands – neutral tools capable of doing great or terrible things, depending on who’s in control. If a person commits a crime, we don’t blame their hands right? And if they save a life, it’s not their hands we celebrate. It’s the person behind the action that counts. Money is the exact same — it’s a neutral tool, at your disposal. 

So, if you feel that some rich people use money poorly, or let it “corrupt” them, remember this: you have the power to choose differently. It’s like owning a knife — you could use it in harmful ways, sure. But you could also use it to whip up a fantastic meal or perform life-saving surgery. It’s all about how you wield it. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

3. Truly believe in abundance

Here’s a key question if you want to attract abundance and prosperity. Whatever it is you want an abundance of, do you believe there is truly enough to go around for everyone?

Manifestation Coach Kathrin Zenkina points out a common limiting belief that trips many of us up. It’s the idea that if you’re raking in the dough, you must be taking it from someone else. As if there’s this giant money pie, and your bigger slice is someone else’s missing piece.

As she explains, money flows “through” other people, not “from” them. It’s not like we all start with an equal share and then play a game of financial musical chairs. Money is more like a river than a pie – it’s constantly flowing and circulating. Spending it is temporary; it’s just part of the money’s journey. And when you earn it, remember, it’s just stopping by before it flows on again.

This same principle applies to other areas, like success. Ever heard someone say, “There’s only so much room at the top”? That comes from the scarcity mindset. It would mean that when one person reaches success, they are preventing someone else from doing so. 

Following up on our examination of beliefs in the section above, you need to turn these beliefs around. And since the proof is in the pudding, look around for real-life examples.

Take, for instance, influencer couples like @mariefeandjakesnow and @explorersareus. They work in the same sphere and could’ve seen each other as threats. But instead, they teamed up to create a fantastic course that couldn’t have happened without their teamwork, boosting wealth for both. In any other profession, you also have examples of people collaborating, starting schools together, and growing together. 

Ultimately, you want to adopt the belief “I celebrate this person’s success as proof that being successful is possible. And I can have it too, without taking away from theirs.” 

4. Consider what it is you really want (it’s not just about the money!)

Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty: what do you really want? Spoiler alert – it’s definitely not just a fat bank account. Because if that’s what you really wanted, you wouldn’t want to ever touch that money. (Spending it would mean you would no longer have that fat bank account!) Rather, when people dream of being rich, it’s actually freedom they’re after. 

For example, say you’re strolling along the beach on a scorching day, and there’s this lemonade stand. The lemonade is a bit pricey, but hey, you buy it without a second thought because you can. Or imagine deciding on a whim to dine at your favorite restaurant, just because you feel like it. That’s the kind of freedom we’re talking about.

But here’s the thing – you don’t actually need a million dollars for these moments. What you need is enough for that slightly overpriced lemonade or that meal. It’s not about having a mountain of cash; it’s about having the means to enjoy life’s little pleasures.

And let’s go a step further. Sometimes, it’s not even about the money at all. Maybe it’s about having the time and skills to make your own lemonade or scoring a coupon for your favorite restaurant. It’s about thinking creatively to fulfill your desires without necessarily having a hefty bank balance. But we can only do that once we take our eyes off the target of “having a lot of money” and onto what actually matters to us. 

5. Find proof of abundance around you – in all its forms

When we talk about abundance, it’s easy to zero in on money. Sure, money is a form of abundance, but it’s just one piece of a much bigger puzzle. Abundance is everywhere, in countless forms, and in areas of life that matter even more – like health, relationships, and joy. And there is a lot of abundance that is already in your life.

No matter what life circumstances you’re in, you surely have:

• An abundance of love that you feel for your loved ones.
• An abundance of air that is available for you to breathe.
• An abundance of good memories, hopes, or dreams.
• An abundance of food that is available to you.
• An abundance of electricity you have access to (to access this article on your device).
• An abundance of molecules and atoms that make up your body.

Those are just a few examples — you’re bound to find many more specific to your life. And you can even step outside of it, and consider the abundance in the world at large. Manifestation coach Kathrin Zenkina gives a great example of noticing abundance in nature. There’s an abundance of trees in the forest, an abundance of leaves in every tree. 

And in an indirect way, you also have an abundance of money around you. Because all the items that are in your vicinity right now represent money. All of them came about as the result of an exchange of money, of the flow of money. All the items you own right now were once money too. These things all represent money. 

We started out by speaking about the power of gratitude. And this ties in beautifully here. Manifestation itself works on the principle of “like attracts like.” So to attract more abundance and prosperity into your life, start by appreciating the abundance you already have. 

6. Start living with abundance right now

The definition of abundance is something in great or plentiful supply. But how much is “plenty” exactly? Many people equate abundance with staggering, lottery-win amounts of money. However, abundance can start much smaller and still be just as meaningful.

Manifestation coach Kathrin Zenkina once shared this insightful thought: If you can’t give away 10% of 10 dollars, how can you expect to give away 10% of a million? It’s a mindset thing. Even if you have just 5 dollars, you can find an “abundance” even in 50 cents of that. Consider that tiny bit as a surplus, a little extra you can play with.

The challenge is to start recognizing and living with the abundance you have right now, no matter how small. Find that ‘extra’ in whatever you have, even if it’s just a single cent from a dollar.

Now, what do you do with this excess? It circles back to your personal definition of abundance. Is it about building a robust savings account for retirement? Supporting causes you believe in? Treating yourself to life’s little luxuries, like fine dining or high-end gadgets? That’s where your little surplus starts to take on a bigger meaning.

And remember, abundance isn’t always about money. Maybe right now, you’re low on funds but rich in time. That’s abundance too, which you can choose to spend in an aligned way. Or consider love – an endless resource. Try wishing love on every person you see. You’ll be practicing abundance — and giving yourself a great happiness boost at the same time. 

It’s true that your current abundance might not match up to your ultimate goal. But cherish the fact that it’s there at all. Celebrate this existing abundance in your life. If you can’t appreciate and use a little, how will you manage when you have a lot? Moreover, why would the universe bless you with more if you can’t cherish what you already have?

Abundance doesn’t start at any minimum value — start living by it right now. 

7. Replace thoughts of lack with affirmations of abundance

If you’re looking for ways to attract abundance and prosperity into your life, you might believe you currently don’t have abundance and prosperity. 

And what I suggest here is not that we delude ourselves or deny facts, like having a certain amount of money in our bank account. Those are facts and information that are necessary for us to look at honestly. 

However, when awareness of facts turns into a mindset of lack and scarcity, it impacts your decisions and your journey to abundance.

Think of it this way: If you’re tutoring a student, but deep down, you believe they’re bound to fail, you’re not going to put your heart into teaching them. Subconsciously, you would think, “What’s the point? It won’t make a difference.” 

Likewise, if you’re going through life thinking you never have enough and you’re destined to be poor, you won’t make a lot of progress in attracting abundance.

In fact, even some researchers support the idea that your thoughts create your reality:

“Each and every tiny cell in our body is perfectly and absolutely aware of our thoughts, feelings, and of course, our beliefs. If you believe you are fragile, the biochemistry of your body unquestionably obeys and manifests it. If you believe you are tough (irrespective of your weight and bone density!), your body undeniably mirrors it.” 

So we need to use something called cognitive reframing. This means shifting your mindset so you’re able to look at a situation from a different, more positive perspective.

It’s not about lying to yourself but shifting your focus from scarcity to abundance in a way that still feels honest and authentic.

Consider affirmations like:

• Money is always flowing my way.
• I am in the process of attracting wealth and prosperity into my life.
• I am worthy of having the money I desire.

If these affirmations seem a stretch, remember a time when you didn’t have something you do now. Maybe it’s the apartment you live in, your partner, your current job, or even overcoming a tough phase in life.

At one point, these things felt out of reach, but now they’re a natural part of your life. Just like those past challenges, your current situation can also transform. It’s just a phase, and with a shift in perspective, what feels scarce now can become your next natural abundance.

8. Give to others without expectations

What is abundance truly about? It means you have more than enough — therefore, you can give to others without needing anything in return. This is why pure generosity is the ultimate expression of abundance.

Consider this example: say you have just enough food to survive. You can give some of it to someone else, but then you’ll need them to give you something back so that you have enough. Therefore, you keep a tally and have an expectation from them. This is the mindset of lack — “I don’t have enough, therefore I need something from you.”

But if you had an abundance of food, you could give some to others without caring if they give you something back or not. If they don’t, you won’t lose anything. And if they do, you can celebrate it as another act of abundance. This is the mindset of abundance — “I give to others no matter if I get something back or not, because either way, I have plenty. My ability to be generous doesn’t depend on others’ ability to give me something too.”

And ironically, when you give without expecting anything back, abundance often finds its way back to you. It may not come from the same person or even in the form you expect, but it circulates back into your life. 

9. Pay attention to inspired ideas 

The concept of ‘attracting’ or ‘manifesting’ abundance is often misunderstood and sometimes oversimplified. It sounds like something that happens mainly in your mind, without any action or tangible work. I was both fascinated and confused by this, so I wanted to figure out what it really meant.

After hearing over 200 episodes on the topic from manifestation coach Kathrin Zenkina, I’m convinced that manifestation would be better termed ‘manifest-action’.

Because yes, the mindset is a powerful component of getting what you want. But there always has to be action involved. You can’t change something in your 3D reality without actually interacting with 3D reality in some way.  

Kathrin Zenkina says this a lot, most recently in her episode on her exact manifestation process. 

The last step in the process? You need to take inspired action. 

And she did this herself for every one of her big manifestations:

• She had to download a dating app and swipe right and then go on an actual date in order to manifest meeting her now-husband.
• She had to be open to intimacy and take care of her health in order to manifest having a baby.
• She had to start a business and invest energy into it in order to grow into a six-figure earner.

Each of these big “manifestations” required real action. Yet, often, when we talk about hard work and effort, it doesn’t sound as appealing as the elusive, magical idea of “manifestation”. But the truth is, attracting abundance into your life is largely about tuning into your intuition and acting on those nudges to turn your thoughts and dreams into tangible realities.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Now you know 9 science or expert-backed ways to attract abundance and prosperity. As you practice these tips, I invite you to keep your mind on your ultimate goal. What is the life you’re envisioning? Because it’s easy to get sidetracked into thinking that we want wealth for the sake of being wealthy.

But that’s not where happiness comes from. It comes from living your life in alignment with your values and goals — and abundance gives you the resources to create that life. 

So, do you believe that you’re able to attract abundance and prosperity in life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 9 Ways You Can Attract Abundance and Prosperity for a Better Life appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Naturally, you want to improve your brain as much as possible. After all, it is the powerhouse of practically every action we do. But how do you keep such a complex organ healthy? How do you actually nourish your mind?

As you might expect, there is no secret ingredient for nourishing your mind. Rather, it’s a complex recipe of many steps that all work together and complement each other. Let’s have a look at what science says to do to keep our brains healthy as we age. 

What does it mean to nourish your mind?

Nourishing the mind can sound like a very nebulous concept —  like high energy particle physics or letting go of the past.

So before we go any further, let’s take a moment to establish what exactly we are aiming for.

In other words, what does it mean to nourish your mind?

Based on the definitions by several recognized institutions, the British Medical Journal offers this 3-part definition of a healthy brain:

• Optimal brain integrity (overall size, gray matter density, etc.)
• Optimal mental and cognitive function (normal social behavior, movement control, interpretation of senses, etc.)
• Absence of brain diseases that impair normal functioning 

Having this in mind will help guide us in determining what exactly we want to improve about the brain, and what benefits we can expect from doing so. 

Can you improve your brain function by nourishing it?

Did you know that everything you do leaves its mark on your brain? Some experiences create new neurons and connections, while others trigger them to break down and die. 

This happens in a process called neuroplasticity. 

It can be daunting to realize that every decision, habit, and action shapes your brain in some way. But there’s also a very inspiring implication: 

You can still improve your brain, at any age. 

As the studies in this article show, it’s never too late to make your brain smarter, faster, and more protected from diseases like dementia.

Keep reading to find out how. 

9 ways to nourish your mind through exercise

Among a wealth of other health benefits, exercising produces a protein called a brain-derived neurotrophic factor. This protein stimulates greater neural plasticity, or the ability of the brain to change and build new connections.

But if the idea of huffing and puffing at the gym doesn’t make you too excited, here’s something you’ll be very happy to hear.

Studies have shown that it doesn’t take a strenuous workout to get benefits from exercise. Rather, any movement helps to keep you sharp as you age. Even as little as walking for 2 minutes a day.

So there’s really no excuse — especially when you have so much to gain. Older adults with more active lifestyles are found to have overall healthier brains and a lower risk of dementia.

Practically any form of physical movement has benefits for the brain. So choose one that you enjoy enough that you can stick to it. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Here are 9 ideas that have been found to be particularly beneficial for the brain. 

1. Aerobic exercise

Aerobic exercise is probably the most common type, so many studies have been done on its benefits for the brain. 

It has been found to be one of the best forms of exercise to improve cognitive functioning, as it helps to reduce inflammation and stimulate the function and growth of neural cells. 

Here are some specific benefits of aerobic exercise on brain health:

• Happier mood.
• Better executive function (mental processes that let us plan, pay attention, remember things, and juggle multiple tasks).
• Greater blood flow to the brain.
• A bigger hippocampus (involved in verbal memory and learning).
• Lower risk of dementia.

2. Swimming

Swimming is technically a form of aerobic exercise. But it seems to give a unique boost to brain health. 

Aside from the benefits of cardio listed above, swimming may give older adults an additional increase in mental speed and attention. 

Another study was conducted with young land-based and swim-based athletes. Twenty minutes of moderate-intensity swimming increased cognitive function in both groups. 

Researchers are still not sure why swimming, in particular, has these brain-enhancing benefits. However, it’s worth noting that swimming involves all the major muscle groups. This makes the heart work harder and increases blood flow throughout the body, including the brain. 

3. Take a walk outside

If just reading about exercise makes you break out into a sweat, no worries. Walking counts too.

The more time research participants spent walking outdoors, the more they had increased gray matter leading to:

• Improved planning.
• Better regulation of actions.
• Better cognitive control.
• Lower risk of psychiatric disorders.

Even short walks gave great benefits. So even if you’ve only got 15 minutes in between Zoom meetings, it’s worth slipping outside to walk around the block. 

Here’s one of our articles that goes further to explain the mental benefits of walking.

4. Weight training

Though the brain isn’t technically a muscle, weight training still gives it a great workout. Gary Small, chair of psychiatry at Hackensack University Medical Center, explains: 

When you lift weights, you’re really focused on form and performing specific moves, which in turn exercises the neural circuits in your brain. 

Weight training also prevents shrinkage of the hippocampus. Moreover, it might be the best form of exercise for improving memory and other cognitive functions. 

5. Yoga

Yoga is another great exercise to increase brain power and nourish your mind. 

A UCLA study had participants do 1 hour of meditative yoga once per week, as well as 12 minutes of at-home meditation. 

They saw significant improvements in:

• Verbal memory (the ability to remember word lists).
• Visual-spatial memory (the ability to find and remember locations).

This might be surprising, as yoga is typically considered a very mild exercise. How can it have such a powerful effect?

Cathay Ciolek, president of the board of APTA Geriatrics, explains:

These types of changes occur when we practice unfamiliar movements, because when we learn new skills, we actually create new neural pathways.

6. Tai Chi

Want to try a less typical workout? Tai Chi might be a perfect choice.

It’s particularly great for brain health, as it combines physical movement with mental focus. Specifically, it might help improve:

• Reasoning.
• Planning.
• Problem-solving.
• Memory.
• Cognitive ability among adults with dementia.

7. Dancing

If the options above seem too bland for you, just put on your favorite song and break a move. 

You’re not just having fun and burning calories, but also reducing the risk of dementia by 76% — twice as much as reading! 

A review published in Current Alzheimer Research even found that dancing improved cognitive performance in people who already have dementia.

8. Do household chores

Though chores don’t really qualify as exercise, they might when it comes to brain health. 

A study found that older adults who spend more time on household chores have a bigger brain, regardless of how many other exercises they do. This was seen in two areas in particular:

• The hippocampus (involved in memory and learning).
• The frontal lobe (involved in many aspects of cognition).

This might be because housework forces people to get on their feet and be less sedentary. Sometimes it can even be a form of low-intensity cardio. But the researchers also point out that housework requires planning and organization that promotes new neural connections.

If you struggle with staying active, this could be a great way to get started,  “since household chores are a natural and often necessary aspect of many people’s daily lives, and therefore appear more attainable.”

9. Spend time in nature

Perhaps the greatest way to nourish your brain with movement is to do it outside. 

Walking and spending time in nature, particularly in forests, helps with over a dozen aspects of health and wellbeing, which we’ve discussed in this article.

But if you don’t have the option to stroll around a forest, including nature in your environment can still provide many of the same benefits: 

• Set up your workstation to have a view of nature.
• Put plants in your home.
• Put up paintings of natural scenery.
• Set a natural scene as your phone screensaver.
• Surround yourself with the color green (products, clothes, interior design, etc.)

3 ways to nourish your mind through food & nutrition

You’ve probably heard that “you are what you eat”. Well, your brain would agree.

Food is a crucial part of nourishing your brain — rather literally. Here are 3 essential tips to include in your eating habits. 

1. Eat foods that are good for your brain (and avoid the bad ones)

When you feel tired or down, you might automatically reach for your favorite candy bar or bag of chips. And it’s true that sugar does have a role in brain function, especially if energy is needed quickly. 

But studies confirm that nothing beats a balanced, nutritional meal. 

Virtually any natural food, like fruits and veggies, is good for our brain. So keep a balanced diet to get a variety of nutrients. This article will help you decide what is good and what isn’t.

It can be a little overwhelming to manage your diet with a long list of foods to include and avoid. So focus on making one change at a time — a great way to start is to replace processed snacks with wholesome ones like fruits or nuts, and swap pop drinks for water or tea. 

2. Keep your gut healthy

We’ve been talking about nourishing your brain, but what about your “second brain” — the gut?

Research has shown that the gut and the brain have two-way communication. The brain affects gut function and vice versa. Gut bacteria can also create important neurotransmitters. 

So keeping your brain healthy also means keeping your gut healthy.

A study suggests one good way to do that is consuming probiotics. Participants who took probiotic supplements had better mental flexibility and stress scores after 12 weeks. 

3. Drink enough water

The human body is made of 60-80% water. And the brain? 73% water.

So you can imagine how important staying hydrated is for nourishing your brain. 

So far, studies haven’t shown significant impairment to cognitive function unless dehydration was severe. 

But not drinking enough water has a huge impact on your mental state and mood, which can affect practically any form of mental performance. 

So even if it’s just to boost your mood, drink the recommended 4-6 cups of water per day to improve your brain skills. 

13 ways to nourish your mind through mental fitness

As we’ve already seen, food and fitness both have an enormous impact on brain health.

But now we get to the most intuitive tips: improving brain function through exercising your brain. 

Here are 13 fun and effective ways to do this. 

1. Learn a new challenging skill

Learning nearly any skill is an excellent way to nourish your mind and keep your brain healthy. 

The one key? It must be challenging for you.

This was shown through a study where participants were assigned to different activities. Some learned quilting, others digital photography. Those in the control groups did activities that were fun but not mentally challenging, like watching movies or playing easy games. 

They each spent 15 hours per week for 3 months on these tasks.  

Afterward, they were tested on their memory. Only the participants who learned a challenging skill showed improvements — and they maintained them when retested a year later. 

The study also showed that learning new skills is much better than practicing “brain games”. The latter can improve certain brain functions, but a new skill strengthens entire brain networks. 

What kind of skill should you choose?

The study author points out that the more difficult the skill is to learn, the greater improvement you’ll see in brain function. But she also says that what’s “challenging” can be subjective: 

Quilting may not seem like a mentally challenging task. But if you’re a novice and you’re cutting out all these abstract shapes, it’s a very demanding and complex task.

So you can have your pick of anything that’s new to you and complex. Most importantly, pick something you can stick to. Harvard-affiliated researcher John N. Morris explains: 

You can’t improve memory if you don’t work at it. The more time you devote to engaging your brain, the more it benefits.

But he also says that you don’t have to aim to make huge improvements:

It is the constant repetition of working to improve, and not the quest for mastery, that can have the greatest impact.

Here are some more ideas from similar studies to get you started:

• Digital photography and photoshop.
• Painting and other art forms.
• Learning a musical instrument.
• Doing expressive or autobiographical writing.
• Learning a language.

Alternative: Make an existing hobby more challenging

If you’re not up for trying a new hobby, Dr. Morris suggests raising the bar for an existing one. For example, if you’re a casual golfer, you can aim to shoot a better score or lower your handicap. 

As he says, “you don’t have the challenge of learning something new, but rather the challenge of increasing your skill set and knowledge.”

2. Learn a new language

Learning a new language technically falls under learning a new skill. But it is so good for the brain, that it warrants its own section.

Studies have shown this has great benefits across a wide range of scopes:

• Babies exposed to 2 languages from birth have better cognitive control abilities.
• Young adults who are bilingual have better attention and concentration.
• Adults who learn a new language have higher than expected intelligence in later life.

More specifically, these studies show learning a new language helps you improve your ability to:

• Ignore distractions to stay focused.
• Switch attention from one task to another.
• Hold information in mind.
• Increase your overall intelligence.
• Buffer your brain against aging.

One thing is clear: no matter your age, a language course or private lessons are a great investment for your brain.

But if you don’t have the time or money for that, even using a language learning app like Duolingo has been proven to have great cognitive benefits. 

Whatever approach you choose, make it a regular commitment. In one of the studies above, participants saw results after 4 months of studying 30 minutes per day, 5 days per week. 

3. Change up your habits

Take a moment to think about your daily routine. How long have you been doing things the exact same way?

Keeping steady habits has great benefits for improving productivity and organization. But if your goal is to nourish your mind, you might like to shake things up a little.

But we’re often so set in our ways, the hardest part of this exercise can be coming up with ideas. Here are some to get you started:

• Change the order of your morning routine or shower routine.
• Make breakfast using only one hand.
• Eat with your non-dominant hand.
• Take a different route to work.
• Stand while you’re working (this may increase productivity too).
• Set times where you don’t use any electronics or social media.
• Try a new place for lunch.
• Exercise in a new environment (try a new gym, change rooms at home, or go to a different park).
• Rearrange your furniture or storage at home.

4. Keep learning new things

You may have heard that learning is a lifelong process. And it seems nature intended it that way — as Keith Rowe put it, “when you stop learning, you start dying.” 

Learning creates new neural connections in the brain, no matter your age. But if you stop, those connections begin to break apart and your cognitive performance suffers. 

So you can think of knowledge like apples: a morsel a day keeps dementia away.

A study even found that an academic background can help slow down brain degeneration in old age. But obviously, you don’t necessarily need to get a degree. The study authors suggest many other ways to continue learning:

• Have thought-provoking conversations.
• Watch intelligent, educational TV shows.
• Enroll in a course.
• Read about interesting topics.
• Keep up with current events and the latest news in science and medicine.

5. Stop multitasking in the wrong way

In a world where productivity is put on a pedestal, multitasking can seem like a requirement. Add to this the fact that we’re surrounded by phones and computers, and it seems almost impossible not to do it.

But you might give it a shot after you hear this.

In fact, multitasking is not just counterproductive. It is also literally causing damage to your brain. 

This is especially true for “media multitasking”. This means using several devices or consuming different types of content at once. For example, listening to music while watching the ball game, or sending an email while talking to someone on the phone. 

In terms of our cognitive functioning, media multitasking hinders our ability to:

• Pay attention.
• Recall information.
• Organize thoughts.
• Switch from one task to another.
• Cope with emotional problems.

So is there any reason why you’d want to multitask? Well, there might still be one.

Multitasking can be beneficial during creative problem solving, as it helps reduce your fixation on a problem. 

6. Listen to or play music

If you’re too tired to actively work your brain, try putting on some great beats instead.

Though it doesn’t require much effort, research has shown that music stimulates the brain like almost nothing else. In particular, it: 

• Reduces anxiety.
• Lowers blood pressure.
• Reduces pain perception.
• Improves sleep quality.
• Lifts your mood.
• Boosts mental alertness.
• Improves memory.

But how can Mozart or Rihanna possibly do all that to your brain? Johns Hopkins researchers explain:

Music is structural, mathematical, and architectural. It’s based on relationships between one note and the next. You may not be aware of it, but your brain has to do a lot of computing to make sense of it.

In fact, listening to music can have the same positive impact on wellbeing as exercising or losing weight. (Though of course, this doesn’t mean you can replace your entire fitness routine with music!)

7. Read 

When it comes to nourishing the mind, reading is one of the first ideas that often pops into mind.

And for good reason. Studies have shown that reading helps protect memory and thinking skills, especially as you get older. The authors suggest that reading every day can slow down the effects of aging on the brain, keeping it healthy and functioning for longer. 

So it’s time to dust off your bookshelves or pull out your ereader. Even newspapers, magazines, and web articles can do the trick. 

If you want to read more about nourishing your brain, here are some great options:

• Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age
• Noise: A Flaw in Human Judgment
• Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know

8. Play some games

You’ve surely heard “work hard, play hard.” As it turns out, both parts of this adage are great for your brain.

But not all games are like the others. 

Here are the 4 best types to improve your brain function. 

1. Puzzle and number games

As the hallmark for training your brain, puzzle games are the first type that helps sharpen your mind.

These include:

• Jigsaw puzzles.
• Crosswords.
• Number puzzles like Sudoku.

2. Board games and card games

Board and card games are also great for the brain, including chess and checkers. These work to enhance the brain’s processing speed and memory. They may also help lower the risk of dementia. 

3. Brain training apps 

Prefer to play on your phone? No problem — many apps are created specifically to train your brain. 

A group of researchers has made 3 apps that have been proven to work through a series of studies: 

• Gwakkamolé — trains inhibitory control (controlling your attention, behavior, thoughts, and emotions).
• CrushStations — trains working memory (remembering information you learn on a daily basis).
• All You Can ET — trains cognitive flexibility (switching between two different tasks, or thinking about multiple things simultaneously).

4. Video games

Here’s great news for any gamers reading this. Research has shown video games can give these benefits: 

• Increased gray matter.
• Strengthened networking within the brain.
• Improved hand-eye motor coordination.
• Improved memory.
• Improved problem-solving and decision-making.

But before you hunker down for a weekend glued to your console, remember that moderation is key in anything you do — and Link can stay frozen mid-swing for as long as you need.

In fact, length of play doesn’t seem to be all that important for nourishing your brain. Rather, it’s the players’ enjoyment that leads to better mental wellbeing. And those who feel pressured to play see the opposite effect.  

9. Draw or doodle

If you tend to doodle while bored in a class or meeting, you’ll be happy to hear that also nourishes your mind.

A study found that drawing, coloring, and doodling all activate the prefrontal cortex. This is where higher-level thinking happens, including:

• Reasoning.
• Problem-solving.
• Comprehension.
• Impulse control.
• Creativity.
• Perseverance.

Participants also felt they improved in problem solving and having good ideas. 

This one is very easy to do: just grab a pen and paper and let your imagination roam free! 

10. Surf the internet 

Addicted to surfing the web? A UCLA study shows it’s actually not a bad way to spend your free time. 

Participants either did a book reading task or surfed the Internet. Both activities showed significant brain activity in regions controlling:

• Language.
• Reading.
• Memory.
• Visual abilities.

But in addition, searching the Internet showed brain activity in areas that control:

• Decision making.
• Complex reasoning.

Surprised? There’s a very logical explanation:

Compared with simple reading, the Internet’s wealth of choices requires that people make decisions about what to click on in order to pursue more information, an activity that engages important cognitive circuits in the brain.

There is only one catch — this extra pair of benefits only applies if the participants are experienced in surfing the web. This is because new internet users don’t yet know the strategies to fully engage in the activity. But with a bit more time and practice, anyone can get these benefits.  

11. Let yourself forget

Did you know your brain has entire mechanisms that promote memory loss? But don’t freak out — this is actually very good for your brain. 

As researchers at the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research explain, the goal of memory is not actually to remember as much as possible for as long as possible. Rather, it’s to only hold onto valuable information that helps you make intelligent decisions.

This also means you have to let yourself forget irrelevant and outdated details. For example, there’s no point in remembering an old procedure at work after the rules have changed.

This is what helps you adapt to new situations and the ever-changing environment around you. 

12. Find a purpose

Have you found your purpose in life? If not, it might be high time to start looking for one. 

Aside from enhancing your wellbeing, having a sense of purpose can reduce the effects of dementia. In fact, a review of studies showed it is more effective for brain health than many other positive psychology concepts.

The researchers speculate that this might be because having purpose inspires you to take better care of yourself. So in essence, you get a happier life — and a healthier brain to boot. 

If you struggle to find your purpose, try pondering these questions:

• What fills you with the most joy? Think back on your last week or month and identify experiences that jump out to you as the most satisfying.
• What are the core values that you want to live by? (health, honesty, courage, self-development, nature, etc.) 
• If you had 2 months of free time and money was not a problem, what would you want to spend this time on? Consider why you would want to dedicate your time to this. 

13. Adopt a growth mindset

You might have noticed that many of the above tips to nourish your mind involve getting out of your comfort zone:

• Learning new skills.
• Practicing challenging activities.
• Changing up your habits.

Some people might jump at the chance to stretch their boundaries in these ways. Others might find it a bit daunting. But if you want to improve your brain, it’s imperative that you open yourself up to these experiences. 

The growth mindset can help you do that.

This is an approach to life and learning coined by Dr. Carol Dweck. It’s centered around the belief that you can get better at anything with motivation and practice. This allows you to view mistakes as opportunities to learn rather than an evaluation of poor performance.  

You can therefore approach new experiences without being held back by fear of failure. 

You can learn more about the growth mindset by reading our article about it.

When you’re ready to put it into practice, here are some ways to cultivate a growth mindset: 

• Acknowledge and embrace your imperfections and weaknesses.
• Try different learning tactics.
• Focus on the process rather than the end result.
• Notice your actions and effort rather than fixed “traits” or “talent”.
• Learn to embrace feedback.
• Keep track of your progress and the lessons you’ve learned.

3 ways to nourish your mind by being social

How do you think your life would look without any other people in it?

Aside from being terribly lonely (not to mention boring), it would be a huge loss for your brain.

Here are 3 key ways your brain is nourished by social interactions. 

1. Socialize

Building connections with others is not just an integral part of our lives and happiness. It also has amazing benefits for the brain.

Even basic interactions with others keep our brains stimulated as they search for thoughts and a way to organize them into communication. That might explain why people who feel less lonely also have less cognitive decline as they age.

Other studies even suggest that an active social lifestyle is a key to warding off dementia. 

And the best part?

You can easily combine being social with many other ways to nourish your mind. Here are just a few ideas:

• Join a group fitness class where the other participants can help you stay motivated too.
• Find a tandem partner to help you practice a new language.
• Join a book club to discuss your favorite books with others.
• Sign up for a class to learn a new hobby.
• Join a choir or a musical group.
• Get together with friends to play challenging games.

2. Surround yourself with good listeners

Is there someone in your life you can always count on to listen?

This person might be doing you a much bigger service than you think.

As it turns out, having good listeners in your life can help support cognitive function and prevent problems like dementia. More specifically, it improves “global cognition”, which includes:

• Thinking.
• Attention.
• Memory.
• Language.
• Visual and spatial reasoning.

In addition, being listened to improves cognitive resilience, which is what keeps your brain healthy and functioning well as it ages.

These benefits were specific to good listeners over other types of social support (providing advice, affection, emotional support, trust, or social contact).

If you’re wondering whether you’re a good listener yourself, here’s our article on how to be one.

3. Give to others

It’s pretty well known by now that giving makes you happy. But did you know that being generous can also nourish your mind?

When you give to others, you have decreased activity in the amygdala. This is the part of the brain where too much activity is linked with anxiety, phobias, and post-traumatic stress disorder. 

However, there is one distinction to keep in mind: giving only has these brain benefits when it is targeted to a specific person. When study participants gave to a charity in general, they showed no change in brain activity.

Here are some ideas for how you can give to others:

• Help a family member, flatmate, or friend with housework during a stressful day.
• Mow your neighbor’s lawn, rake their leaves, or shovel their driveway.
• Support a friend who’s working on a life change.
• Give someone an honest compliment.
• Check-in with a friend you haven’t seen in a while.

2 ways to nourish your mind through sleep

The next time you consider staying up late to watch one more episode on Netflix, you might want to think twice. 

As you’re about to discover, sleep is an incredibly important aspect of nourishing your mind and keeping a healthy brain. 

1. Get quality sleep

If you want to nourish your mind, you’re probably excited to pack as much new information and ideas into it as possible. 

But don’t forget the other half of the equation — rest!

Without sleep, the brain cannot function properly. It doesn’t have time to recuperate, and as a result, neurons become overworked and performance plummets. 

Even pulling a single all-nighter has a myriad of short-term implications, from drowsiness and bad mood to slower thinking and impaired judgment. 

And it gets even worse if sleep problems are chronic or long-term, most notably with higher risk of cognitive impairment and dementia. 

Thankfully, the solution is simple, free, and exceedingly pleasant — get regular quality sleep.

This means sleeping within the recommended number of hours (remember too much sleep is also bad!) and not being woken up throughout the night. 

Your brain will thank you with: 

• Better memory.
• Enhanced creativity.
• Enhanced cognitive performance.
• Lower risk of dementia.

2. Take a nap

Of course, there is no substitute for regular quality sleep at night. 

But taking a nap when you need one also improves brain function and memory in particular. 

One study showed that people remember new information much better if they take a nap after learning it. This is because napping pushes memories from the hippocampus to the cortex, where they can be stored more permanently. 

4 ways to nourish your mind with relaxation

If you’ve ever had someone tell you “just relax!”, you’ll know how maddeningly difficult this can be to do on request.

But chronic stress can be very harmful to our brains. So it’s important for us to carve out time to wind down. 

Thankfully, there are a few specific and easy ways that can help you reduce stress and relax.

Keep reading to find out our final 4 tips to nourish your mind.

1. Practice gratitude

We all say “thank you” on a daily basis, but how often do you actually mean it?

Pausing to consciously tap into gratitude is a powerful way to reduce stress.

There are many ways to practice gratitude. 

If you’re going for long-term benefits, try a daily practice of writing down 3 good things that happened and their causes. This leads to a gradual and consistent improvement in happiness over several months of practice.

But there are many other methods. The key to seeing results is to stick to it long-term. Here are more options:

• Write down things you are grateful for, even on your phone.
• Think of as many things as you can that you’re grateful for in 1 minute (or more).
• Pick 1 thing you’re grateful for and visualize it for 1 minute (or more), focusing on feelings of gratitude.
• Say to a friend or partner what you appreciate about them.
• Text a friend that you appreciate their friendship.

2. Practice deep breathing

Want a way to nourish your mind that’s completely free and that you can do literally anytime? It’s as easy as taking a deep breath.

You’ve probably heard someone tell you to do this in a stressful situation. Neuropsychologist Kristoffer Rhoads explains why:

When you’re stressed or anxious, your breathing tends to be irregular and shallow. Your chest cavity can only expand and contract so much, which makes it hard to get more air in.

Deep breathing helps reverse this process, toning the stress response down through the breath. 

As a result, this:

• Calms your nerves.
• Reduces stress and anxiety.
• Improves your attention span.
• Lowers pain levels.

If you want to sit down for a deep breathing session, Rhoads suggests first activating the stress response. Though it might sound counterproductive, this helps engage the sympathetic nervous system to make the breathing exercise more effective. 

Imagine an extremely stressful situation and notice the physical response in your body. You might feel your heart beating faster, your chest tightening, and your breathing becoming more shallow.

Then, follow these steps to engage in deep breathing:

1. Turn your attention to your breath.
2. Breath from your stomach, pushing it out when you inhale and exhale all the way.
3. Take longer breaths, counting to at least 3 for each inhalation and exhalation. 

Focusing on the length and feel of your breath may also provide some extra mental benefits. 

This exercise might feel a little uncomfortable at first. But soon, you will notice your body starting to relax. 

3. Be mindful

Be honest: how much of your day were you actually present today? Or did you spend most of your time thinking about dinner, your next vacation, or your neighbor’s annoying dog?

A review of over 20 studies suggests that mindfulness could have amazing benefits for not one, but 8 different brain areas. This includes improvements in: 

• Memory.
• Self-awareness.
• Emotion regulation.

You can practice it at any point throughout your day: just bring your focus to the present moment and what you are doing. 

If you struggle with this, set the intention to journal about your day before going to bed. This will make you notice and remember the details around you more. Alternatively, you can imagine you need to recount what you’re experiencing to a friend later. 

And of course, there are many meditations targeted towards mindfulness too. You can find many examples on YouTube, podcasts, or apps such as Aura or Bloom. 

4. Take some downtime

After a long list of choices, changes, and challenges to train your brain, you’ll be very happy to hear this final tip. 

To nourish your mind, it’s very important to have some downtime.

Research has confirmed that taking breaks:

• Improves your mood.
• Boosts your performance.
• Increases your ability to concentrate and pay attention.
• Reduces the likelihood of burnout and health problems from chronic stress.

But we also need to define what this practice means. In the true sense of the word, downtime means not making your brain process any information — at all. This means letting your mind wander and focusing attention inward rather than on the external world. 

So downtime does not include:

• Going to a museum.
• Doing a puzzle.
• Reading a book.
• Catching up with a friend.
• Scrolling through social media.
• Watching TV.
• Playing games on your phone

These activities are all fun and many can be good for the brain in their own way.

These activities all require processing information — and part of the reason we need more downtime is that we’re doing way too much processing already.

So what counts as downtime? Anything that lets your mind meander:

• Sit and stare into space
• Do a mindless task, like vacuuming or weeding.
• Take a walk in nature.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

If you’ve read this article, you’ve already done one thing today to nourish your mind. You’re also now armed with over 30 great tips to work into your daily life. From morning walks in the forest to evening crossword puzzles, there is something for any brain’s tastes. Though there are a lot of health practices to bite into, remember that nourishing your mind comes from cultivating balance — and that includes savoring the occasional dessert.

Do you feel like you’ve got a nourished mind? What’s your favorite tip from this article? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 34 Evidence-Based Tips to Nourish Your Mind and Brain appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Holding a grudge against someone else may make some sense — we want to hold the moral ground, and it feels good to be the poor victim who was wronged. But what if your anger is towards you? Refusing to forgive yourself imprisons yourself in the role of the bad guy. Why is it so hard to do something that will make us happier, healthier, and better? 

In this article, I’ll explain 13 reasons why it’s so difficult to forgive yourself. Then, I’ll give a simple yet effective model for how to do it.

Why is it so hard to forgive yourself?

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Unfortunately, there are some evolutionary reasons for our inability to forgive ourselves.

If you want to learn how to forgive yourself, it’s important to know about the science behind it all.

Here are 13 reasons why forgiving yourself is so difficult.

1. You don’t want to change

Forgiving yourself means accepting that you’ve done something wrong. And that means there is something you need to change.

But as humans, we also long for acceptance, and that can make us very resistant to the idea that we have to change.

So sometimes, we might try convincing ourselves we’ve forgiven ourselves. But really, we’re overlooking or excusing our behavior. As this isn’t true forgiveness, the anger or guilt will keep clinging to you.

Changing can be uncomfortable, but it’s the only way forward when you need to let go of your past actions.

Remember that your mistakes are not you. So you don’t have to change your identity, just your behavior in certain situations. 

2. You think forgiving yourself takes away from repentance

Perhaps you view self-forgiveness as condoning your past actions. You think if you forgive, it means you’re no longer sorry for what you’ve done. So you refuse to let go of guilt to prove that you do repent.

Suffering is your own form of personal punishment.

However, this just makes you less happy and brings negative feelings into all your other relationships.

So it’s time to reframe this belief. Forgiveness doesn’t mean giving yourself the green light to make the same mistakes again. It’s simply not letting your past ones shackle you down.

3. You don’t want to shatter your self-image

We all like to believe that we’re good people with good values. So what happens when you do something that violates those values? It can be hard to reconcile that person with the person you want to see yourself as.

This can make us feel fractured. We become two incompatible selves. So you might refuse to acknowledge that you did something wrong (and forgive yourself for it) as a way to keep your self-image intact.

Here’s one way researchers suggest overcoming this. Affirm your values and remember that you are a complex, benevolent human. You can have great intentions and amazing qualities and still make mistakes. Reflecting on yourself and recognizing this helps reconcile your conflicting selves. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

4. Your past mistakes have become part of your identity

Dr. Matt James from Psychology Today points out that we define ourselves on a time continuum. We start with the past, move through the present, and head towards the future. 

Thus, leaving the past behind (or our version of it in our minds) can feel like losing the ground underneath us. If you’ve clung to it for a long time, it’s like trying to release something that’s a part of you and your identity. 

For this, Gautama Buddha offers the best advice: “Every breath I take is a new me.” He wasn’t speaking metaphorically. His teachings say that life is constant reincarnation from a previous you to a present you.

At any moment, you may experience happiness, sadness, fear, or anger. But that emotion doesn’t last; it changes with each breath and then vanishes. It was experienced by a previous you. And whatever happens in your next breath will be experienced by a different, future you.

If we embrace this concept, then letting go of our past actions is not creating a hole in our identity. In reality, it allows us to let go of someone who no longer exists, and give ourselves space to be the person we are now.

5. You’re too hard on yourself

Chances are, you’ve forgiven people you love and trust for many things. You’re willing and able to see that they made a mistake, regret it, and will do whatever they can to avoid repeating it.

But sadly, many of us don’t have a loving and trusting relationship with ourselves. Instead, we can be extremely critical and have very high expectations. We refuse to cut ourselves the same slack we generously give our friends or family.  

The solution here is to foster love and empathy towards yourself. No matter what your mistake was, you’re certainly not the first or only one to make it. You’re a human just like everyone else, and like your loved ones you deserve forgiveness too.

6. You can’t walk away from yourself

If someone you don’t like or trust hurts you, you might forgive them or not. But you don’t have to be confronted with these feelings as you can easily walk away and avoid contact with them.

With yourself, it’s a different story. No matter what you do in life, you’re the one person you cannot leave behind. So if your usual reaction to being angry with someone is to walk away, you’ll drag your pain everywhere with you.

In order to forgive yourself, you have to choose a different tactic. Avoidance is just one of many different ways to resolve conflict. Though it may feel silly, you can try to imagine having a discussion with yourself and explicitly asking for forgiveness.

7. You hold yourself responsible for things you can’t control

When things are out of your control, it can be impossible to make amends or fix a problem. These are two things that often lead the way to forgiveness.

So if you hold yourself responsible for something you can’t do anything about, you may see no way to forgive yourself.

You must recognize that if you have little or no control over the problem, then you cannot hold most of the blame for it either. It’s natural to feel upset or sorry over something going wrong. But it’s not fair to take more than your share of responsibility for the problem.

Try putting yourself in the shoes of the other people involved. What role did they play in the problem? If you were them, what would be some of your regrets? Forgive them, along with yourself.

8. You’ve forgiven yourself, but can’t hold onto that feeling

Perhaps you feel like you keep replaying the same forgiveness process over and over again. If that’s the case, it’s not actually difficult to forgive yourself but rather to maintain that feeling afterward.

Forgiveness is often thought of as a one-time thing. But it’s actually a continuous process, like keeping a garden clear of weeds. You can pull them all out, but that doesn’t mean no more will ever pop up again. You’ll have to keep doing a bit of maintenance to keep everything in order.

9. You’re avoiding making things right

Refusing to forgive ourselves can be a way to avoid the consequences of our actions.

This is a form of penance, but one that makes us run away from our sense of responsibility. The solution here is therefore pretty clear: face up to what you need to do to repair the damage. Stand up and take responsibility for your actions.

10. Self-criticism is rooted in you

Some personality types are much more critical than others. They beat themselves up over every little thing, and constantly look for confirmation of their negative self-beliefs. For example, a neurotic person may struggle with this.

These kinds of people will also find it much harder to let go of past mistakes. Of course, it is still possible, but the process may take a little longer. You may also need to remind yourself that you have in fact forgiven yourself.

11. It feels selfish to forgive yourself

Forgiveness, particularly if it is towards yourself, may feel selfish. But in reality, it’s definitely not.

While it’s true that in self-forgiveness, empathy is offered to yourself and not others. But the principle stays the same.

Empathy and compassion are always a good thing. If it still feels selfish, remember that you cannot truly be empathetic to others if you have built up anger in yourself.

12. You depend on others’ opinions to forgive yourself

Another reason you might find it hard to forgive yourself is that you’re relying on other people’s opinions of you. What you did could have been horrible, comprehensible, or even totally okay. It all depends on what the people say, and you need them to tell you which one it is. And you can only forgive yourself if they tell you everything is okay.

On one hand, this is understandable. Humans are social creatures and are influenced by others. How others perceive us plays a large role in our survival and status, so it can feel like part of our identity.

But the problem with this is that you’re allowing others to define your sense of morals.

For example, if someone tells you that you did something horrible, this may be true — or not. Alternatively, they could also be:

• Affected by their past and perceive normal things as hurtful.
• Influenced by other events you don’t know about.
• Misunderstanding the situation.
• Lashing out at you from pain that has nothing to do with you.
• Playing psychological games out of unresolved hurt or anger.

What they say doesn’t automatically define whether your actions or intentions were right or wrong. After all, they’re only one person. Ask a dozen others and you might hear a dozen more opinions. Which one should you go with now?

You can of course be sorry that you’ve caused someone pain. It’s also good to seriously consider whether or not there’s something you can work on. But you need to be able to form your own opinion of yourself and your actions.

13. You expect to forgive yourself too fast

Some things are easy to forgive, and others are very difficult. Forgiveness is not always a quick process.

You may need to do several sessions of introspection, meditation, or therapy to work through all your unprocessed emotions.

Why it’s important to forgive yourself

There are many reasons why forgiving yourself is hard. But it’s very worth the struggle, and here is why.

If you don’t forgive yourself, you may be letting your misguided actions redefine your sense of who you are.

Rather than letting go of your past mistakes, they become a part of your identity. Now your mistakes contaminate your values, thought patterns, and future decisions.

If you’re a reader of Tracking Happiness, it’s clear you’re committed to personal growth and being the best person you can be. If this is the case, then self-forgiveness is definitely something you should work on.

Forgiving yourself for past mistakes makes you more likely to make better decisions in the future. You’ll stop repeating the same mistakes and grow into a better person.

Once you forgive yourself, you let yourself start the next chapter of your story. This is called “changing your personal narrative”:

• From “I am terrible and unworthy of love and acceptance,”
• To “I am a fallible and precious human who learned an important lesson which has helped me to become more than I once was.” 

Lastly, forgiveness offers many mental well-being benefits including:

• Better mental and emotional well-being.
• More positive attitudes.
• Healthier relationships.

And also physical health benefits, including:

• Reduced pain perception.
• Lower cortisol levels.
• Lower blood pressure.

But if you still need more convincing, this last point will blow your mind. Forgiveness can give you the same benefits as 40 years of Zen training. A program called 40 Years of Zen measured alpha waves during meditation.

It found that holding onto grudges is the single biggest factor suppressing them. Even those with little meditation experience could achieve the alpha brain state once they forgave. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

How to forgive yourself in 5 simple steps

I’ve already written extensively on how to forgive in a previous article, How to Let Go of Anger. I wrote it with forgiving others in mind, but you could apply the same tips to forgiving yourself.

Here are 5 tips to help you forgive yourself.

1. Recall the hurt

Imagine the situation again and recall the hurt that it has caused you or other people. Be honest with yourself about what happened. Don’t treat yourself like a victim, or anyone else as a jerk.

Make a conscious decision now to not pursue payback and treat everyone involved as a valuable person.

2. Empathize with yourself

Empathize with the person who did the hurt (in this case, yourself).

Imagine talking to a clone of yourself, if that helps. Your clone is your past “you” who made the mistake, and you are the present you who is hurting and angry. Tell your past self about your thoughts and feelings: pour your heart out.

Then, switch positions and sit in the “past you”’s chair. Explain from that perspective what you were thinking and feeling at the time. Try to help the present you see why you made your decisions.

3. Give yourself an altruistic gift

Give forgiveness as an unselfish, altruistic gift. If you’ve done something wrong, you may feel you don’t “deserve” to be let off the hook. But you can still give yourself the gift of self-forgiveness.

4. Commit to forgiveness

Do something to show your commitment. For example, you can write down “Today, on [date], I forgave myself for [past mistake]”.

5. Hold onto forgiveness

There may be times when your anger and hurt starts to resurface and you start ruminating again. Remind yourself that you did in fact forgive yourself. Reread your note if necessary.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Now you know 13 reasons why it’s so hard to forgive yourself for your past mistakes. I hope you now have insight into what to do next, and are one step closer to self-forgiveness. In doing so, you’ll give amazing benefits to both yourself and others in your life. 

Do you have any more thoughts on how to forgive yourself? I’d love to hear them in the comments below.

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 13 Reasons Why It’s So Hard to Forgive Yourself (But Crucial!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Do I snooze or get up right away? Kitchen or bathroom first? How much coffee is too much coffee? Should I wear the polka-dot socks or the striped ones? Even things like what thoughts you focus on are decisions. So it’s maybe not so surprising to hear that on a daily basis, we make a mind-boggling 35,000 decisions. These shape pretty much everything about your life (no pressure). But even if we zero in on the big, life-altering decisions, it’s obvious that mastering the art of choosing wisely is crucial.

So, how do you become a pro at this? Good news: This article is packed with 20 potent, science-backed tips to do just that. Ready to elevate your decision-making game? Just keep on reading. 

What is a good decision, anyways?

First, let’s clarify what we’re aiming for. So, what’s a good decision? Seems like a straightforward question, but it sure can get complicated when you dig in. 

Many people think it’s all about crunching numbers and data and choosing the “correct” choice. But that’s where we tumble down the rabbit hole — what is “right,” anyway?  Who decides it is “right”? What does “choice” itself even mean?

Thankfully, Dr. Lace Padilla, an assistant professor of cognitive and information sciences, saves us from this existential despair with a much simpler answer. She proposes that a genuinely good decision is one where you’ve used all the information you have to the best of your ability.

So that means bad decisions are when you misread or misunderstand the information you have. It’s not necessarily about choosing the “wrong” choice — because nobody’s perfect, and mistakes are inevitable. What really counts is that you’ve understood the information available to you and used it to make the best call you could at that moment.

What leads to bad decisions?

Let’s face it, we’ve all been the architects of some cringe-worthy choices — from DIY haircuts to gas station sushi. But the question is, why? Here are common reasons.

1. We misinterpret the evidence

We just mentioned Dr. Lace Padilla’s definition of bad decisions — misunderstanding the information we have. This can often be traced back to our past experiences, which usually guide us but can sometimes lead us astray. 

Take the case of Galileo. When he first spotted Saturn through a telescope, he thought it had “ears”. That’s because he didn’t have the right model to understand what he was seeing. It took another 45 years for Huygens to recognize those ‘ears’ as the rings around Saturn. (Too bad — learning about planet “ears” would make science classes much more amusing.)

2. We overestimate our beliefs

Research shows most of us are not great at figuring out how accurate our beliefs are. We might be super confident about something, only to find out we’re wrong. And ironically, we’re usually overconfident with tough questions but underconfident with simple ones. It’s a tricky balance, but being aware of this can keep us grounded.

3. We’re influenced by irrelevant emotions

Our emotions can hijack our decision-making process without us even knowing — even in counter-intuitive ways. For example, fearful people make pessimistic judgments of future events. But angry people make optimistic judgments. 

What’s more, these emotions often have nothing to do with the decision at hand. In one study, participants who were feeling sad tended to set a lower price for an item they were asked to sell. 

So if you’re regretting a decision, maybe it was those stale, family-sized nachos you ate.

4. We’re paralyzed by too many choices

You may have already heard of “paralysis analysis” — in other words, overthinking. Basically, you get so wrapped up in the pros and cons, and “this hotel has a free minibar but that one has a balcony”, that you can’t make a choice. You’re afraid of not making the perfect choice, so you’re stuck in a never-ending decision-making mode. The irony? Spending too much time analyzing is a bad decision all by itself. (Because who wouldn’t be paralyzed choosing between tiny liquor bottles and a view of the parking lot?)

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

20 tips for making better decisions

Now that we understand what good and bad decisions are made of, it’s time to look at some tips so we have more of the former. Science has a lot of juicy tips to give us, so I’ve divided them into 5 categories:

• Tips for adopting the right mindset to make good decisions
• Tips for optimizing your conditions
• Tips for the act of making good decisions
• Tips for specific types of decisions
• Bonus tips for those really tough decisions

Let’s go ahead and get started.

Nailing the right mindset for quality decisions

Mindset really is everything. And your brain is the birthplace of every decision you make. So it makes sense to cultivate a welcoming environment for those choices to bloom. So, how do we set the stage for great decision-making? Here are three tips to get you on the right track.

1. Don’t get too hung up on making the “perfect” decision

Here’s a funny twist for you: your pursuit of making better decisions can be sidetracked by, you guessed it, bad decisions. Perhaps the granddaddy of them all is getting fixated on perfection.

This is a struggle I understand very well, as a fellow perfectionist. But this is one of those paradoxes of life. You’re much more likely to make the best decisions when you stop being so obsessed with making the best decisions. 

Researchers have identified two types of decision-makers:

1. “Maximizers”, who agonize over every option and detail to make sure they’re picking the absolute best one.
2. “Satisficers”, who want to make decisions quickly and aim for an acceptable choice rather than the best one. 

Maximizers do often have great outcomes, as they are usually very informed. But, all that information is very time-consuming to gather. And it can be painfully difficult to reach a decision in the first place. You keep going through all the options back and forth in your head — and this process doesn’t even stop once you make the decision. Maximizers are prone to decision regret, wondering “What would it have been like to choose the other thing?”

What good is it to make the “perfect” decision but feel miserable? It’s much better to aim for a “good enough” choice that makes you happy. And that’s the satisficers’ approach. Unless the stakes are very high, know when to cut your losses. You really don’t need to spend 30 minutes choosing the “perfect” font for your Instagram post. Or mulling over whether your dog would look cuter in a bandana or a bowtie. Let “good enough” be good enough. 

2. Don’t rely too much on your confidence

Confidence is great for self-esteem, but it can also lead you straight into disaster. We’ve all been there: so sure we’d ace that test, only to stare at the paper like it’s written in ancient Greek. Studies back this up; people tend to overestimate their abilities and the accuracy of their knowledge more often than they’d like to admit.

Do you know exactly where that obscure office building is for your big meeting? 90% sure you can Jedi-mind trick your boss into that promotion? Well, reality often begs to differ with our mental scripts.

Here’s an eye-opening exercise: spend a little time each day gauging how likely you are to pull off your various endeavors. Write down your estimates. At the end of the day, revisit your estimations. Missed the mark? That’s okay; humility is free but invaluable. And, it will help you become much more accurate at estimating your real abilities. 

3. Allow your emotions

Characters like Sheldon Cooper and Spock might have us believe that decisions are primarily logical. But actually, every decision we make involves feelings. 

In fact, people who experience damage to the emotional centers of their brains find themselves unable to make decisions. They become paralyzed by decisions, unable to make even the simplest choices. That’s why neuroscientists argue there’s a “sweet spot” between logic and emotion that leads to the best decisions. 

So as long as you’re not overwhelmed by emotion, don’t be afraid of considering your feelings. They’re not a bug in your decision-making software; they’re a feature.

Create the right conditions for good decisions

Your mindset is one of the most important things. But there are lots of other factors that influence how you make decisions. Let’s look at 3 of them that you can control. 

1. Get quality sleep

We all know sleep makes you cranky and gifts you those oh-so-stylish bags under our eyes. But did you know it also has a pretty terrible impact on decision-making? So if you’re staying up all night debating between options A and B, you’re basically shooting yourself in the foot. Take “sleep on it” literally — and prioritize getting quality sleep. Here are some science-based tips how:

• Get more light during the day
• Reduce screen time at night
• Avoid caffeine late in the day
• Go to bed at the right time
• Relax yourself
• Create a comfortable environment
• Turn down the heating

2. Minimize distractions

Imagine trying to pick out the perfect anniversary gift while assembling IKEA furniture as your phone keeps buzzing. You probably won’t end up with the best gift in the world. (You will, though, likely have a lopsided bookshelf and a tweet that reads like you typed it with your elbows.) 

This is the work of your brain’s “control network”. It’s the part of your brain that helps you focus and stay on task, such as your decision. But it doesn’t do very well with multitasking. (That’s incredibly counter-productive, anyways.) So whenever you want to make a decision of importance, put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” and choose a distraction-free environment.

3. Ensure adequate time

It’s common sense that rushing through decisions can easily lead to bad choices. Yet, many of us ignore that, believing we don’t have time to think things through. 

But as Mike Kallet, author of Think Smarter points out, if you don’t have time to set aside 15 minutes to research the best lawnmower, you better find 3 hours to collect the grass clippings it flung all over your front yard (and still need to research another lawnmower). Studies also show people are more likely to make risky choices under time pressure. 

So, you’re much better off carving out enough time to make your decision in the first place, or you’ll pay with many-fold more time and money in the end. 

How much time is enough time? I’m afraid I’ll have to echo my next-door cafe (“We close when we decide it’s time to close”). This means, you should take however much time is necessary to:

• Define the problem
• Identify the criteria
• Do the strictly necessary research 

And depending on the importance of the decision, perhaps gather some more views or find a few alternatives. 

The nuts and bolts of good decisions

Alright, enough preparation! Let’s get into the 7 best science-based tips for making good decisions. 

1. Figure out the REAL problem

You could spend hours scouring the internet for information. But all that data’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot if you’re not even sure what problem you’re trying to solve in the first place. 

As Dan Pink tells us in his bestseller, “To Sell Is Human,” the true key to decision-making success lies not in finding the perfect answer, but in identifying the perfect problem. The best advances in both the arts and sciences come from those who spend more time clarifying what the actual issue is.

As an example, consider a study conducted in 1970 by Csikszentmihalyi and Getzels. They found that artists who were problem finders, not just problem solvers, were the ones with better results and thriving careers.

So the next time you’re struggling with a decision, don’t just dive into gathering solutions like you’re on a wild Easter egg hunt. First pause, take a step back, and ask yourself: “What’s the real problem here?”

2. Define what really matters

Once you define the problem, you should also define the main criteria. What’s most important to you? Is it the location of the hotel, or the free continental breakfast? The salary of the job, or the company’s pet-friendly policy? Let’s be real — when we scribble down a generic pros and cons list, half the things on there are as important to us as a pet rock.

So write a list of what really matters to you in the decision. If you have several criteria, look at each of them one by one and evaluate the options based on them. 

As The Muse explains, you can also use this strategy to come up with more options in the first place.

“Suppose you had to decide how to change the onboarding process for new employees. Write down what you hope to accomplish — say, making the process more efficient, more comprehensive, more laid-back — and then focus on each objective in isolation. You want to make the process more efficient? You can do that by sending how-tos in advance. You want to make it more comprehensive? You can do that by introducing them to several departments instead of just your own.”

3. Gather only the necessary information

You know what they say: Information is power. But that’s only half the saying — too much information is a real decision-making killer. 

Imagine trying to decide what to eat for lunch while reading a 300-page nutrition guide. Spoiler: You’ll starve. Researchers have found that our brains tend to fizzle when hit with too much info. In fact, even a tiny bit of unnecessary detail can derail the decision-making process. 

So next time you’re wading through a sea of Google results or drowning in YouTube tutorials, remember: you don’t need to know all the things. You just need to know the right things. Keep it simple.

4. Get a range of views 

I know you probably want to be able to make decisions on your own. But well, science says it may be in your best interest to still listen to your know-it-all friend, nosy aunt, or mother-in-law (sorry). Because we make our best decisions when we are exposed to a diverse set of views and inputs. 

Other studies show that gathering a medley of opinions — whether it’s about guessing the weight of an ox or diagnosing skin conditions — tends to lead to more accurate information and results. This is what they call the “wisdom of crowds.”

No pals around to offer their two cents? No worries. You can play your own mini-crowd by using the “estimate twice, decide once” strategy: 

1. First, come up with an estimate or a decision. 
2. Wait a day or two or until the end of the day. Ponder some more, and make another decision. 
3. Then average the two decisions. 

It’s like asking for your own opinion, twice. You can even switch up your thinking style — first go with your gut, then mull things over with some serious thought.

5. Identify alternatives, particularly the opposite

Dr. Therese Huston, author of How Women Decide, points out that we often get stuck in Hamlet mode. We zero in on just one option and it becomes a yes-or-no choice. To be or not to be? To hire this person or not? To go for a walk or not? In reality, life offers us a buffet of options. Maybe you could hire someone part-time, or promote an existing team member. Instead of a walk, you could take a nap, or finally call your friend back. (Just imagine how different the play would be if Hamlet had considered some alternatives, like therapy, or becoming a monk.)

Research shows that explicitly identifying alternatives is much more likely to lead to good decisions. Dr. Huston recommends coming up with 3 options. She gives the example of a company deciding whether or not to build a parking garage: 

“So instead of just should we build a parking garage or not, three options would be: should we build a parking garage, should we give all employees bus passes, or should we give our employees the option to work from home one day a week? That might all solve the same problem, but they’re very different options.”

It can also be hugely beneficial to play devil’s advocate. Once we get something in our heads, we tend to cling to that belief. It takes more compelling evidence to change a belief than it took to create it — even if the belief isn’t helpful or true. So when you’re making a decision, consider the opposite. If the initial idea is to build that parking garade, what about a world where your business doesn’t offer any parking? It might sound radical, but entertaining the opposite idea can open up new paths. And research shows it is a great way to reduce errors in judgment. Just remember to make alternatives relevant to solving the problem and the most important criteria.

6. Trust your gut — with a grain of salt and a dash of time

You’ve heard the age-old saying, “Trust your gut,” right? Well, it’s not just your grandma’s way of saying “I have no idea, dear, figure it out yourself.” There’s science to back it up. Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman and scientist Gary Klein wrote a whole book on the power of intuition for decisions, especially in high-pressure situations. But they also say you should still evaluate your gut feelings consciously and deliberately. 

Because intuition isn’t infallible:

• Overconfidence in your intuition can be a powerful source of illusions. 
• People are more likely to go with their gut when they’re feeling positive, and that often results in mistakes or misinterpretations. 
• And, experienced experts can overestimate their intuition, especially if they haven’t dealt with many similar situations in the past. 

What’s the remedy? According to Dr. Hannah Perfecto, it’s a matter of time — just a few seconds, in fact. Pausing even for 10 to 30 seconds to ponder can be a game-changer. It might sound measly, but let’s face it, that’s more time than most of us give to reading the terms and conditions of a new app. 

7. Reflect on your mistakes (but don’t dwell on them)

We all make mistakes, whether it’s forgetting an umbrella on a rainy day or spending more than we should have on an impulse buy. The key isn’t to beat yourself up about it, but to learn from it. Take a few minutes at the end of each day to think about the decisions you’ve made. Where did you go wrong? What can you learn from it?

It’s a valuable exercise, but remember, there’s a time limit. Don’t spend hours wallowing in regret. Experts suggest that as little as 10 minutes of daily reflection is enough to help you improve your decision-making skills. Once you’ve figured out what you could have done better, let it go. Commit to making smarter choices tomorrow. That’s how you grow, one decision at a time.

Specific types of decisions

Are you dealing with a decision that’s far off in the future, or related to a significant life change? Some types of decisions are best made with particular approaches. Let’s take a look at three specific cases. 

Far-off decisions

We’re all familiar with the proverbial “kick the can down the road” approach. Some decisions, like saving for retirement, seems so distant that we decide to let Future Us deal with it. But Future You will come around much sooner than you think, so maybe Present You might start to take the issue more seriously. 

Researchers suggest making distant, abstract decisions feel more concrete helps make better decisions. Here are some examples how:

• Showing people an aged photo of themselves helps them consider what might happen in 50 years, including retirement planning. 
• Showing people mock-ups of a floodplain in your area in 50 years can help people make decisions about getting flood insurance. 

If you’re tech-savvy, you can try to create visual aids like this for yourself. But you can also just change your thinking. The point is to find a way to connect with your future self or make the event feel like it will be happening sooner. If you had to retire or deal with a flood tomorrow, you’d definitely consider the issue differently than if it’s some nebulous concept of “one day”. 

Changes

Then there are the choices that can leave us on the fence for ages — lifetimes, even. Should I quit my job and start my own business? Should I leave my relationship? Should I go meditate with lemurs in a jungle yoga retreat? 

Change feels scary, and often we take the path of least resistance: doing nothing. But science shows, we should instead just go for it. The study researcher explains:

“Whenever you cannot decide what you should do, choose the action that represents a change, rather than continuing the status quo.” 

This goes for decisions ranging from life-changing dilemmas to whether or not someone should grow facial hair. People who followed this advice were more satisfied with their decision and happier six months later. In contrast, people who didn’t make any changes were happy with their decision at first, but not anymore six months later.

Repetitive decisions

Think about it. Are there things that you’ve been doing the same way for ages? The same eggs and toast for breakfast. The same route to work. The same software to help with your work tasks. 

Now, I’m not here to bash routines. Heck, I’ve been trying to make some routines stick for the better part of my life. But, you could also be missing out if you’re letting many decisions get made by default. 

Research shows that when the same decision is made repetitively, it’s very beneficial to keep gathering information and being open to adjust your views. Both of these are associated with more accurate judgments and better decisions. 

Now, this doesn’t mean you have to reevaluate every breakfast food on the planet, or zig-zag to work through the suburbs. But, maybe you could consider swapping white bread for whole grain to boost your health. Or that turning left 1 block later has fewer traffic lights, so you cut down on commute time by 5 minutes. 

Be open to shake things up a little — life’s too short for only eggs and toast. 

Struggling? 4 bonus tips for good decisions

Some decisions are easy — and some are teeth-clenchingly, hair-rippingly frustrating. (I’m guessing it’s the latter that brought you to this article). In these cases, one of these bonus tips might come in useful. 

1. Pay attention to how the choice is framed

We often underestimate the power of words, especially when it comes to making decisions. Dr. Perfecto tells us about the concept of “choice architecture,” which is basically how a question or choice is presented to us. Believe it or not, the wording can make or break your decision-making process.

Think about two doctors describing the same surgery: 

1. One says, “90% of people survive this procedure,” 
2. The other says, “10% of people die from this procedure.” 

Both statements are the same, but I bet you’d feel more confident going with the first doctor. That’s choice architecture in action — the framing of information can either fuel our confidence or feed our fears.

Now, let’s get to another mind-bender: The emotional pain of a loss hits us twice as hard as the joy of a gain. Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky have shown that our brains are wired to dread losses more than we appreciate gains. This explains why we can be so hesitant to cut our losses, like ditching a failing investment. But what if we flip the script and frame all choices as potential gains? Suddenly, that risky investment becomes an opportunity for growth, not a looming pitfall.

It all comes down to this: The framing of a choice influences how you feel about it. This is especially important if you are presented with a decision by someone else. But even if you’re debating something yourself, play around with the wording. 

2. Take a breather — literally

We usually don’t spend much energy — or any at all — focusing on our breathing. But even something as simple as this can be used to your advantage for decision-making. 

Studies found that deep slow breathing increases vagal nerve activity. And this in turn can control stress and lead to much more accurate decisions. 

There are two types of breathing patterns you can try:

1. Symmetric breathing, where you inhale and exhale for an equal amount of time.
2. Skewed breathing, where you exhale for longer than you inhale. 

Even just 2 minutes of this showed improvements in a 30-minute task. Pretty good payoff for something so easy and cheap!

3. Step outside of yourself

Ever noticed how it’s so much easier to give advice to a friend than it is to decide what you should do? There’s a good reason for that, and science backs it up. When people think about a friend’s problem rather than their own, they demonstrate better “wise reasoning” skills. Simply put, they make wiser decisions.

So, it’s time to put your role-playing skills to the test. The next time you’re struggling with a decision, try stepping outside of yourself for a moment. Imagine the situation isn’t about you but about a close friend facing the same dilemma. Ask yourself, “What advice would I give them?” This can help you see the big picture and the different perspectives that you might not have considered otherwise.

4. Batch or automate decisions

Let’s be honest; decision-making can be utterly exhausting. And the energy we have for making decisions isn’t infinite. Or at least, not when it comes to the rational or “slow” type of decision-making. In fact, our “decision tank” starts running on fumes after about 75 decisions.

What does this mean? Well, if you waste those 75 decisions on things like which gif best encapsulates your feelings or the ideal filter for your brunch pic, then you won’t have much power left when it comes to the things that truly matter. 

One way you can safeguard against this is to batch or automate the less important or simpler decisions. For example, science writer Sharon Begley suggests dealing with emails and texts in batches, not in real time. This tactic allows your intuitive, automatic brain to kick in, saving your rational brain from unnecessary strain. It’s the same principle behind setting your coffee maker the night before or meal prepping on Sundays — you’re removing the need to make those decisions when you’re already swamped with other things.

Another tip is to step back from the information flood when faced with complex choices. 

You might think that the best way to tackle a complicated decision is to dig in, analyze every angle, and consciously weigh all your options. However, research indicates that the more complex a decision, the more it drains your cognitive resources. Therefore, the poorer the decision. So do the counter-intuitive, or rather the intuitive thing: allow yourself to step back, switch off the constant flow of information, and let your subconscious take over. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Congratulations — you’re now armed with 20 powerful tips to make better decisions. You may not have realized it, but even during reading this article you were making decisions — for example, to open this article, and to finish reading it in its entirety. (Two excellent decisions, if I may say so myself).

Remember that the point is not to get stuck in perfectionism — we all make and will continue to make mistakes. But with awareness, we can make improvements and build better lives, one decision at a time. 

What tip did you like most in this article? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post The Ultimate Guide to Make Better Decisions: 20 Expert Tips appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

It’s hard to not react emotionally to these things sometimes. I mean, how dare they? Our defense system kicks in to protect our boundaries. But more often than not, these reactions can be a bit overblown and based on negative assumptions. Perhaps that guy is in a rush to get home to his sick kids, your colleague is nervous before a big meeting, and your friend is just holding back a sneeze. 

It’s hard to control our emotions and reactions to them. But with solid strategies, it’s possible. In this article, we’ll explore 9 key ones so you can enjoy better relationships and well-being.

What does it mean to react emotionally? 

In an article by cognitive behavior therapy expert Dr. Shinar, emotional reactivity is described as: 

Emotional reactivity happens when intense emotions are “triggered” by an external event. Often, the event leaves you feeling hurt, angry, or defensive. These triggers may cause you to lash out or act impulsively– doing or saying something you later regret.

When we react emotionally, it is from a place of stress. This impulsive reaction is not thought through, which means whatever we come out with in the heat of the moment is rarely a true reflection of what we think and feel anyway. 

I have a few highly emotional people in my life, and if I’m honest, I intentionally spend less time with them now because my nervous system feels unsafe in their company.

What happens when we react emotionally?

We don’t allow mature and rational conversations when we react emotionally. Meaning we close ourselves off from engaging openly and honestly with others which can damage relationships. 

Reacting emotionally feels like living in a constant state of fight or flight. It is exhausting and can lead to increased anxiety levels.

There are physical symptoms that coincide with emotional reactions. Here are some physical signs of an emotional reaction, which we can identify in people who are quick to anger or become defensive and argumentative. 

• Increased heart rate. 
• Reddening of the face. 
• Muscle tension. 
• Sweating. 

On the flip side, no visible or even invisible changes occur in our bodies when we respond from a place of peace and calm.

What can trigger you to react emotionally?

According to psychotherapist David Richo, there are 9 main reasons why you get triggered:

1. You feel self-conscious, like when you’re alone at a social event or compare yourself to others.
2. You feel discounted, like when someone ignores your messages or doesn’t show up to a date.
3. You feel controlled, like when someone tells you what to do or makes a decision for you.
4. You feel taken advantage of, like when someone doesn’t pay you back the money they owe you.
5. You feel vulnerable, like when you’re in a situation where you feel exposed.
6. You have a negative relationship experience, like feeling lonely or smothered.
7. You feel your boundaries are breached, like when someone steps inside your space.
8. You feel uncomfortable about what’s happening around you, like when you see someone getting hurt or a person’s words go against your values.
9. You’re afraid of what might happen, like when there seems to be a threat.

This is important to know for two reasons.

1. Triggers are a natural protection mechanism

Think about this: if someone came at you with a knife, your subconscious would give you an impulse to knock it out of their hand or run away. It perceives danger and takes control of your mind to make sure it’s protected. If it allowed you time to think about the situation rationally, it would be too late. That’s why these reactions are lightning-fast. 

Obviously, this is extremely helpful in the situation above. But the problem is it’s the same mechanism when you get triggered emotionally. Only this time it’s not a threat against your life but against a need such as stability or respect. And, the threat can be something that only you perceive, based on the way you interpret things.

However, what’s key here is that you’re not a bad person for getting triggered. It’s just your subconscious mind wanting to protect you. You can definitely work on finding a better coping mechanism. But don’t beat yourself up over having this very natural reaction. 

2. When you’re more aware, you have greater control

Personally, just knowing the 9 causes has helped me be less emotionally reactive. When a friend said something to me a few days ago, I felt an immediate and strong emotional reaction. But then I remembered the list above and could identify which trigger I was experiencing.

Therefore, I could see that my reaction wasn’t because my friend was actually hurting me. It was because of an uncomfortable feeling, made by my interpretation of their words. And that helped me see that reacting out of anger will not fix the way I’m feeling. 

Get familiar with these triggers, and it can help you slow your reactions down. In addition, use the 9 tips for how to not react emotionally below. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

9 tips to stop reacting emotionally

As you know, it’s hard to slow down your reaction in the heat of the moment. So if you really want to be less reactive, you need to work on your overall mindset. This will help you understand what’s happening when you get triggered. You’ll be able to hit pause and choose a better response. 

Here are 9 key tips to help you out. 

1. Get to know your triggers

“Know thyself” — this isn’t just a fancy-sounding phrase that looks great in an Instagram caption. It’s an extremely valuable, and terribly underrated piece of life advice.

Getting to know your triggers helps you notice when they come up again. For example, if I know I am sensitive if someone makes comments about what I eat, then I can realize when I get triggered the next time it happens. 

This clarity is the first thing you need. It’s like waking yourself up from a dream. While you’re asleep, you don’t realize you’re dreaming, and you accept everything as reality. It’s only after you wake up that you see it was just in your head. 

Self-awareness is the best way to “wake up” and get your rational mind back in control during a trigger. 

Here’s how you can get to know your triggers:

1. Make note of reactions you have throughout the day. 
2. Try to identify the cause of the trigger from the 9 categories listed above. 
3. Identify what emotions exactly you were feeling. 
4. Also, make note of relevant details like the environment or other people involved. 
5. Look for any recurring patterns. 

Also, write down your reactions to these triggers. That way, you can recognize if you’re about to do the same thing and stop yourself.

2. Take good care of yourself

We all know the effects of poor sleep or being too hungry. Even just one all-nighter can slow your thinking and impair your judgment. Not to mention the way it makes you cranky! Therefore, under these conditions, you’re much more easily triggered.

The solution? Thankfully, it’s one that’s very simple and exceedingly pleasant. Eat when you’re hungry, and sleep when you’re tired!

Of course, there are situations when that is not always possible. (Your boss might not react kindly if you settle down for a nap in the middle of the quarterly meeting!) But you can set yourself up to be in the best shape you can.

Use these 3 tips to keep yourself healthy and more emotionally stable:  

• Plan to go to bed 8 hours before the time you need to wake up.
• Keep a healthy and nutritious snack on hand in the car, at home, and at work. 
• Carry a water bottle with you and stay hydrated throughout the day.  

3. Understand that nobody “makes” you feel anything

You’ve probably said to someone at one point, “you made me feel XYZ”. But when you get down to it, nobody can make you feel a certain way. It’s all in your mind.

The best explanation I’ve heard for this was from a podcast episode by Kathrin Zenkina and Dr. Jon Connelly.

Connelly gave the example of a zebra seeing a lion. If the zebra’s mind wasn’t present, the zebra wouldn’t feel anything. It would just keep standing there, chewing its grass and minding its own business. But because the zebra’s mind is hardwired to see lions as a threat, it creates a fear reaction to make the zebra run away. 

Another example from daily life

Let’s say you call a friend and they don’t pick up. If it’s a good friend you trust, you might think they’re busy or cannot pick up the phone right now. But what if it’s someone you’re dating, and you feel insecure in the relationship? Your brain might jump to conclusions like they’re ignoring you, or spending time with someone else. 

It’s the same situation, but one triggers you and the other doesn’t. The only difference is how your mind interprets the event. So your emotions are not in fact forced upon you by the person not picking up, but created by your mind. 

It might feel frustrating to think this way. Now, we can’t blame others for our emotions anymore. But also, it means we now have complete power over them. If emotions were in fact caused by external events, then someone not picking up the phone would always trigger you, no matter what you did. However, since it happens in your mind, you do have influence over that. 

Use these 2 questions to remember this when you get triggered:

• If it was someone else, would I feel the same?
• Did I always feel this way every time it happened?

4. Take a breath before your answer 

One of my favorite ways to stop responding to something emotionally is by recognizing when I feel triggered and then taking a few deep breaths before responding. If the circumstances allow, this is an excellent opportunity to take a sip of a drink to gain a couple of seconds to claim control of your emotions. 

It may not seem like much, but taking just a few extra seconds before you reply can make the difference in reacting emotionally and responding rationally. 

You can use this approach in the workplace, at home, or with friends. It is appropriate in every situation.

5. Practice being open-minded and positive

Another way to prime yourself to not react emotionally is to make a habit of thinking in a better way. Specifically, being open-minded and thinking positively.

Basically, you want to make this as familiar to you as possible. Then it becomes a default reaction even during times of stress. The goal is to break out of the negative explanation that you get locked into during a trigger. You’ll be able to consider other and more positive explanations.

A personal example of why open-mindedness is so important

I do Latin dancing and was at a weekend event where we had workshops and then time to dance and practice. I’m learning how to lead (meaning, the man’s steps), and an advanced female dancer saw that and asked me to dance with her. 

I’m still pretty new at it, so I had to focus hard during the dance and felt a bit awkward about my mistakes. When we finished dancing, as I finally relaxed I made a sound like “ah!”. The girl stopped and said “Wait, what did that mean? Was it like ‘Ah, I’m glad I’m finally done dancing with her’, or what?” I was taken aback and told her no, it was because I was feeling embarrassed and insecure. From my perspective, this was obvious, but she had a completely different interpretation. 

So imagine if she had not asked me to clarify. She would have assumed that I was being rude, and maybe she would have acted coldly to me. Meanwhile, I would have no idea why, and from my perspective, she would be the one who started acting rudely. We would then start a bad relationship even though we could be great friends — and all over an assumption. 

Do you see how important it is to keep an open mind? This was a very specific example, but the idea is the same no matter the specifics. 

Use these 4 tips to cultivate a better mindset:

• When someone frustrates you, ask yourself this. Why would a rational person with good intentions do or say this? What reasons would they have?
• Look at challenging events like this. The universe is giving you an opportunity to learn something, and this is a gift. What does the universe want you to learn here?
• Imagine just for a moment that your interpretation of events is wrong. What others are there? Do you have any definitive evidence that your interpretation is the correct one?
• Don’t be afraid to ask questions! When you catch yourself making assumptions about a person’s intentions or thoughts, ask them what they meant. Chances are, it’s something completely different than you thought. 

6. Choose your battles wisely

Often if we feel trapped or cornered, we become defensive and feel the urge to explain ourselves. If you are feeling attacked, try and keep your cool, and don’t fight fire with fire. 

As someone who has chosen not to have children, I am used to other people asking inappropriate questions or making ludicrous claims about my life. These used to annoy me, and I would engage with them from a place of irritation and defensiveness. Now I recognize I don’t owe anyone an explanation about why I don’t want children, and I can find the humor in the predictability of their words. 

Another example is how I communicate with someone whom I have a particularly fractured relationship. She sometimes tries to antagonize me in conversations by bringing up topics on which we have polar opposite views. If she were prepared to listen without trying to make me wrong, I would happily engage with her on these controversial topics, but sadly this isn’t the case.

So the most straightforward tactic is politely saying, “We have very different views on this topic; I think it’s best we don’t discuss it again.”

7. Practice forgiveness

So maybe someone really was rude to you. Maybe they’re having a bad day, or they were triggered by something themselves. But is it really worth getting upset over? Sometimes the best reaction to an emotional trigger is to just forgive. 

Forgiveness is like a secret weapon that makes you immune to anything that other people can say or do to you. It’s also a secret drug that improves both your physical health and mental well-being. In short, it’s one of the simplest and best ways you can improve your life.

It’s also necessary because nobody on this planet is perfect — us included. You’ve surely been rude to someone in your life — and you’ve surely had your reasons for that. In that situation, you would want compassion and understanding from others. We need to give others the same chance to be understood, grow, and move past their mistakes. 

How do you practice forgiveness?

I’ve written a detailed and science-backed guide that helps you let go of anger. I also have an article specifically about forgiving yourself — often the hardest type of forgiveness.

8. Let go of your past

Your past is like an invisible, yet extremely heavy baggage that you carry with you. In fact, it shapes the way you see the world today. All your experiences add up to create your beliefs, values, and also your triggers. 

For example, if someone treats you with disrespect over and over again, you’ll become sensitive to anything that even hints at that. 

In this case, you need to address the root cause. First of all, by processing any built-up emotions. And secondly, by detaching yourself from the past where it no longer serves you. 

In the example above, you might have internalized the idea that you don’t get respect. Even if the person who treated you that way is no longer in your life, you may still hold onto that belief. But obviously, that doesn’t help you in any way. 

So you would need to work through your feelings of being slighted and build up your sense of self-esteem. And, understand that this situation is behind you so you don’t look for it everywhere in your present. 

You can absolutely learn from it to avoid being disrespected in the future. However, each new person you interact with deserves a clean slate rather than being pre-judged based on someone else’s actions. 

How do you let go of your past?

Some things from the past are very difficult to deal with. I would honestly recommend regularly seeing a therapist as the best approach. It gives you a safe space to get another perspective so you can get out of your own mind. A therapist will also make sure your efforts are productive. 

But if that’s not an option, journaling is another great tool. Just make sure you do it with the intention of getting to know your feelings and learning from your past. Otherwise, you can get stuck in rumination. 

9. Release your built-up emotions

Finally, you might be emotionally reactive if you have a lot of emotions built up in you. For example, you feel taken advantage of over and over again, and so you build resentment. It becomes a filter through which you perceive everything that happens to you. You might see some things as someone taking advantage of you, even if that’s not the case.  

Here’s how you can work on releasing these emotions:

• Do sports, especially cardio or martial arts.
• Get a deep tissue massage.
• Have regular sessions with a therapist. 
• Journal with the intention of getting to know your emotions, processing them, and learning from the situations that caused them. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Let’s be honest: becoming less emotionally reactive is hard work. It’s not easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight. But the fact that you’ve read this article is already a huge step forward. It shows you have the willingness to try, and are ready to put in the effort. Practice the 9 tips above regularly. Over time, I’m sure you’ll see a difference in your mindset, and react less emotionally.

How do you manage to not react emotionally when things get heated? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post How to Not React Emotionally: 9 Tips That Really Work appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

These are just a few of the questions that can be buzzing through our minds at any given moment. As we all know, life is full of uncertainty, and so it is natural to question things. In fact, it shows that you are intellectual, curious, and analytical. However, we probably both know that questioning everything, all the time, can also make you a little insane. 

How do we stop? How do we know at what point we should stop? (And is this what it feels like to be stuck in an infinite loop of questions?) This is what we’ll be exploring in this article. 

How to know if you’re questioning things too much

It is very healthy to question things to an extent.

Imagine if you felt 100% confident about everything all the time. It would be pretty difficult for people to collaborate with you. You’d be very slow at learning new things. And, you’d probably make a lot of very bad decisions.

So what is the point where it goes too far?

Essentially, it boils down to how it affects your feelings and your life. And I’m guessing if you’re reading this article, you’re already past this point.

But, to clarify, here are some signs you should try to stop questioning things:

• You find it impossible to make decisions because you’re too worried you’ll make the wrong one.
• You feel a constant sense of anxiety because you cannot find answers with certainty.
• It brings about other mental or emotional problems such as extreme insecurity, inability to focus, etc.

If you identify with any of those signs, use the tips below to anchor your thoughts.

6 tips to prevent your brain from questioning everything

I know the feeling of exhaustion when you can’t seem to stop questioning everything. It can be especially hard to pull yourself out of the endless train of questions when you’re in the midst of it. 

So here’s the best strategy. Adopt beliefs and habits that will keep you from questioning in the first place. These first 6 tips will help you do just that. 

1. Recognize that it doesn’t help you

Not to get all meta here, but have you ever wondered why you question everything?

 Constant questioning often stems from some kind of fear, such as: 

• Fear of making mistakes.
• Fear of not knowing.
• Fear of what others might think of you.
• Fear of not looking smart or important. 

Your brain is trying to protect you by foreseeing every possible outcome and avoiding any potential pitfalls. It’s an understandable mechanism, but here’s the problem. There are way too many possible outcomes and pitfalls for your brain to process. It can’t possibly help you prepare for or avoid every single one of them. 

So though there might be a good intention to this mechanism, it doesn’t actually help you. Understanding this opens your mind up to the idea of letting go of it.

2. Understand the reason why you do it

We just saw that there could be several reasons why you question things. Now, it is time to identify exactly which one is true for you.

Because you know it’s not helpful. But it’s also the only tool you have right now to deal with anxiety around uncertainty.

To let go of it, you need to replace it with a better coping mechanism. And for that, you need to know what the exact problem is.

Take note of the instances when you question things excessively. Is it predominantly work-related, tied to your social interactions, or spread across all aspects of your life? Pinpointing the specific domains of questioning can help determine its origins.

I find it most helpful to keep a journal where you can write down all the questions that come up for you. Once you look at them all together, you may recognize some patterns. Try to dig past the questions and into the emotions underlying them. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

3. Take care of your physical needs

Have you noticed that when you’re tired or hungry, it’s harder to think clearly? (Or about anything other than burgers?)

Science has made it pretty clear by now that our mind and body are inextricably linked. 

Several aspects of physical well-being affect your mental health, and specifically how you think. These include:

• What food you eat.
• How much water you drink.
• How well you sleep.
• Whether or not you exercise. 
• How deeply you breathe.
• Any health issues you’re having. 

To give a very practical example, I was writing this section of this article while very hungry. I wanted to at least finish it before taking a break for dinner. But I realized that I was rewriting the same paragraph over and over again because I couldn’t stop questioning the way I wrote it. 

I popped into the burger place next door then got back to writing — and suddenly everything was flowing much more smoothly. I may not be setting the best example for the choice of food, but the main point is this. Your body is the vehicle of your mind, so make sure to take care of it.

4. Learn to be comfortable with uncertainty

When you question things, you’re looking for answers. But not just any answers — ones that give you certainty. 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news… but those answers don’t exist. There are no guarantees in life. If it’s not already in the past, it’s always subject to change. The universe may as well have come with a disclaimer saying “I reserve the right to turn your life upside down, at any moment, no matter how meticulously you planned for something else.” 

So how do we deal with this? The only way we can. Since we cannot change it, we have no choice but to get comfortable with it. 

How? Well, I’m not a master at this yet myself. However, thinking about these ideas has helped me make progress:

• Some of the best things that happened to you were the result of something unexpected. Maybe you met your partner or best friend by coincidence or as the result of a change of plans. Uncertainty can lead to great things.
• You are able to handle change or unexpected events even when it is negative. You are strong and resilient.

• If you could predict everything in life, it would be extremely boring, and probably not worth living.
• Being anxious won’t give you any more certainty, it will just make any experience less enjoyable. You might as well stop struggling and enjoy the ride. (Of course, continue to take healthy precautions to get reasonable certainty for important things like health and finances.)

5. Understand that questioning things is also a strength 

You’re here because you feel you question things too much — but remember, the goal is not to stop altogether, but to strike a balance. 

Like a coin, every trait we have has two sides to it. Even your tendency to question has an array of potential benefits.

• It shows you are curious.
• It allows you to learn a lot.
• It gives you flexibility in thinking.
• It helps you see other perspectives.
• It helps you reflect on yourself. 
• It lets you understand the world better.

Balance allows you to do this without the anxiety and stress that comes with questioning everything. So, while you’re trying to decrease this habit, don’t forget its positives. And don’t beat yourself up if you do it once in a while.

6. Get help from a therapist

Questioning everything can also be associated with certain mental health problems, like anxiety or depression. If this is your case, it’s best to seek help from a licensed professional. 

Even if you don’t have a diagnosis, or are struggling with something like low self-esteem. If you struggle with this problem to the extent that it’s difficult to live your life, definitely consider speaking to someone. 

They can help you understand the root cause and give you targeted strategies to address it. 

7 tips to help you snap out of questioning everything

Now, you know 6 great tips to tame your brain’s tendency to question things. But this doesn’t mean it will never happen again. So you need to have some strategies for what to do when it gets out of control.

There are different types of situations where you might question things. Going back and forth on an important decision. Debating whether saying something is setting healthy boundaries or overreacting. Or just a regular existential crisis. 

So depending on the situation, use whichever of these 7 tips feels most suitable.

7. Ask for other people’s input

I firmly believe we should rely first and foremost on our own opinions and conclusions. At the same time though, it can be helpful to consider those of other people. Especially when you’re driving yourself crazy in your own mind.

Stepping outside of it to see another person’s perspective can give you a sanity check. “Okay, I’m not the only one who sees it like this. I’m not crazy for wondering about this.” This person may even offer a fresh perspective that helps you see things in a new light. Or, help you sort out the critical questions from the unproductive ones. At the very least, they can be a compassionate sounding board for your thoughts.

Remember, it’s not about seeking validation, but gaining an external viewpoint to compare against your own.

8. Imagine a friend was telling it to you

When you’re in a situation yourself, it’s hard to take a step back and view it objectively. That’s where this technique can come in handy. Imagine a friend or loved one is describing the situation to you, and they are stuck in the cycle of questioning you are in now. What would you tell them?

This strategy is a way of practicing self-compassion. Often, we are kinder and more understanding towards others than we are to ourselves. So by imagining the situation from an outsider’s perspective, you can give yourself the same empathy and wisdom you’d offer to a friend.

9. Allow yourself to calm down

Our brain functions in interesting ways. When you’re stressed, your amygdala — a tiny, almond-shaped part of your brain that deals with fear and emotion — can run rampant. This can make you think in a way that’s not entirely rational or clear. It’s like trying to see through a foggy windshield — things get distorted.

So, before you make any attempt to stop your questioning, let yourself calm down. Do activities that soothe you and help reduce stress, such as:

• Listening to calming music. 
• Taking a relaxing bath. 
• Meditating. 
• Doing a hobby you enjoy. 
• Walking in nature.

It’s not about suppressing your questions or emotions, but allowing them to exist without ruling your thoughts. Once your mind is clear, you can reassess the situation with a fresh perspective.

10. Set a time limit for decisions

Have you ever heard of Parkinson’s Law? It states that tasks expand to take up the time you give yourself for them. If you have a day to complete an application, you’ll have it done by tomorrow. If you have a month, it will somehow take you 30 days. (Kind of like how much popcorn you’re hungry for depends on the size of bag you get at the movies.)

So if your questioning revolves around a decision or task, try setting a time limit. Once the time is up, you have to make the best decision you can with the information you have.

The time limit can vary depending on the importance and complexity of the decision. It could be five minutes for deciding what to eat for lunch, or a week for deciding whether to accept a job offer. But remember, the longer you give yourself the longer it will take. So if you really want to stop questioning things, go for as short as possible. 

11. Allow time to pass and follow your gut

If whatever you’re questioning isn’t urgent, maybe it’s time to try using your brain. But not the one in your head — that’s the one that got you into this mess in the first place. This time, try using your “second brain” — the one in your gut. 

This is what we consider our intuition. It can give us information that we can’t perceive with our five senses. And sometimes, it has even better judgment than conscious thought.

For example, a University of Mannheim study shows that thinking too much reduces your ability to read people well. The study participants watched videos of both honest and deceptive people. Half of them were asked to ponder who was trustworthy immediately after. The other half were first distracted by a different task. The second group was much better at telling who was honest. 

Why? Their subconscious minds had a chance to analyze what they saw without being distracted by conscious analysis. Next time, try to use this to your advantage. 

12. Experiment and build trust in yourself

Another possible reason for this struggle might be that you’re afraid to trust your own judgment. You’re worried you understand things the wrong way, or you’re overreacting, or the way you’re thinking is simply wrong. 

But of course, you can’t go through life relying on other people to validate your feelings and decisions. That’s a good way to drive yourself insane (and probably also your friends). You need to learn to rely on yourself. And the best way to do this is through trial and error.

Next time you find yourself questioning your own judgment, try this:

1. Take the information you have. Formulate a hypothesis on the decision or opinion you have to make. 
2. Act on it.
3. Eventually, you’ll see if it was right or not. Use this information when you try again next time.

You’re going to make some mistakes along the way, and that’s okay. But over time, you’ll develop a relationship of trust with yourself. Eventually, you’ll be able to make decisions without questioning them so much. 

13. Occupy your mind with something

Overthinking things can easily spiral out of control. It can lead you into such a convoluted maze of thoughts, even Sherlock Holmes would need a map. You need to cut the questioning short and pull yourself out. 

The easiest way to snap out of it is a color-based technique suggested by Dr. Kate Truitt.

• Look for 5 red items in your environment, whether it’s in the room around you or on your computer screen. 
• Then look for 5 orange items.
• Now 5 yellow items.
• Continue with all the other colors: green, blue, purple, brown, black, white. 

You might also like to find hobbies to occupy your brain with in general. Your brain will have less idle time to wander off and question things.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Training your brain to question things less

Now you’re armed with 13 awesome tips to help you stop questioning things.

The first 6 will help your brain get out of the habit in general. And the other 7 will help you know what to do when it does happen. I hope these tips help you along your journey toward mental well-being and happiness.

And when you’re ready for the next step, make sure to come back to Tracking Happiness — we’ve got plenty more where this came from!

How do you keep yourself from questioning everything? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 13 Tips to Not Question Everything (and Learn to Trust Yourself) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

But though love is still a mystery, a happy job doesn’t have to be. You can indeed find a position meeting all the criteria above where you can work happily ever after. Science points out nearly a dozen aspects that work together to create this dream job. These include more obvious things like a high salary and a good boss, but also more abstract concepts like autonomy, variety, and meaning. 

In this article, we’ll lay all these factors out for you one by one. You’ll have practical examples as well as concrete tips for how to figure out if the job you have your eye on fits the bill. 

11 tips to find a job that makes you happy

So how can you increase your chances of finding a job that makes you happy? Without any further delay, let’s get right started and dive into the 11 tips.

1. Humanity over perks

Aside from the rise of teleworking, the Covid era has brought another radical change to the work environment. Namely, it has torn down the façade of perks many companies put up to convince workers they prioritize their happiness. 

Without office spaces, companies are no longer able to entice workers with things such as free lunches, ping-pong tables, or gym memberships. 

It’s just as well according to CEO Jenn Lim of Delivering Happiness, a business consultancy for workplace happiness. 

Lim explains that these perks can indeed make the work environment more enjoyable, but only on a surface level. What workers should look for instead – and what employers should offer – is being treated as a human being:

If we think about retention, we think about people wanting to be productive and engaged. The more they’re treated as a human being, the more they’ll show up. Look at treating people as a holistic person – not just their skill set or their role and responsibility.

Jenn Lim, CEO of Delivering Happiness

This, more than any amount of free lattes or coupons, is the very foundation of being happy at work. 

What exactly to look for

It can be difficult to gauge something as abstract as a company mindset. Don’t focus on trying to calculate anything specific, but try to get a general sense from the company’s marketing, offices, and employees. During the interview, you might also get an idea of underlying attitudes. 

In particular, look for hints that the company views its employees as assets and builds strategies to support them. If they want to know more about where you are mentally, physically, and relationally, it’s a sign they are considering your bigger picture. 

It’s also good if they want to know how you relate to the values and purpose of the company and put in an effort to help you build that connection. 

2. Find some form of meaning in your work

One of the most crucial aspects of finding a job that makes you happy is meaning. 

This is the degree to which you see your job as a calling. If your job has meaning, it serves a bigger cause and provides a benefit to others. 

Jobs like alleviating poverty and curing cancer might pop into mind first – but they aren’t the only ones that matter. As long as you’re contributing something of value to something that’s important to you, your work has meaning. Here are some examples by Harvard Business Review:

• Making a useful and high-quality product for a customer.
• Providing a genuine service to a community.
• Supporting a colleague.
• Boosting an organization’s profits by reducing inefficiencies in the production process.

Will meaning make you happy?

Research shows that finding meaning brings many powerful benefits:

• Life satisfaction.
• Happiness.
• Positive emotions.
• A sense of coherence.
• Gratitude.

But even without all these benefits, pursuing meaning at work would still be worth it for its own sake. As Jim Collins said, “It is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life. And it is very difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful work.”

What exactly to look for

Finding work that has meaning has to start from within, with an examination of what really matters to you. Consider the impact you’d like to have on the world and the society around you.

Afterward, it’s simply a matter of finding work whose goals align with your own. Do research on the company, its vision, and its mission. Don’t forget to prepare some questions to clarify anything during the interview. 

3. A high (enough) salary

We’ve all heard by now that money doesn’t buy happiness. Or does it?

In its work section, the World Happiness Report found that people “in well-paying jobs are happier and more satisfied with their lives and jobs than those in the lower-income brackets.” 

But this is only true up to a certain point. It’s been shown that money only makes people happier up to an income of $75,000 per year. Earning more than that doesn’t increase happiness further. 

What exactly to look for

Calculate the minimum you would need to earn in order to make a good living where you live. Look for work that offers at least this amount – but keep in mind going significantly higher won’t make you that much happier.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

4. A competent boss

You’ve surely already thought carefully about what kind of boss you want in your new job. 

You might have thought about communication skills, leadership style, or personality type. But if you want to find a job to make you happy, you should also take a peek at their resume.  

A study found that “having a highly competent boss is easily the largest positive influence on a typical worker’s level of job satisfaction.”

The key here is technical competence – do they have deep knowledge and expertise in the organization’s field? 

This is in part what lets your boss be a resource to the team. But of course, they also need managerial skills. A Harvard Business Review article highlights these components of good managers:

• They give clear strategic goals but respect members’ ideas about how to meet them.
• They don’t assign personal blame when problems arise.
• They help analyze problems and even help get things back on track.
• They don’t hoard information as a secret weapon but share it readily with the team.

What exactly to look for

Ideally, your boss should be someone with direct experience in the field and not just someone with a title. Consider their history in previous jobs and the company at hand, and what kind of tasks they do as part of it.

It’s probably not a good idea to ask them about their qualifications directly. But you may be able to get an idea of their managerial style by asking about the dynamic and workflow between them and their team. 

5. A sufficient level of autonomy

We all crave freedom. So it’ll come as no surprise that another part of finding work that makes you happy is autonomy. 

Many studies, including the World Happiness Report, have shown that it’s one of the main drivers of a happy workplace environment. In particular, employees with autonomy are shown to be: 

• More satisfied with their jobs.
• Less likely to quit.
• Healthier.

So what exactly does autonomy at work look like?

You can think of it as the flipside of micromanagement. In other words, having the power to make your own decisions. In practical terms, this means:

• Making decisions without having to run them by someone else.
• Being trusted to accomplish your tasks without being constantly supervised.
• Choosing your own schedule, such as deadlines and breaks.
• Having some choice over your responsibilities, such as delegating or prioritizing.

What exactly to look for

Keep in mind that autonomy can mean different things to different people. A study found that generally speaking, women appreciate scheduling and location flexibility, while men look more to task allocation and pace of work. There are also big differences in preference across professions.

Take a moment to consider what kind of autonomy is most important to you. If you don’t know where to start, think about what you appreciated most in your previous jobs. 

6. Enough variety (but in moderation)

How happy would you be in a job where you do the same mundane task over and over again, day in and day out?

Probably not very much. But I bet you wouldn’t be any happier in a job where your tasks are constantly changing.

As a study shows, happiness at work means having variety – but more important is the type of variety. Switching too quickly between tasks over a short period of time can undo the increased happiness and cause stress. 

The happy middle is to do a variety of tasks over a longer period. This is the kind of variety that leads to happiness and satisfaction. 

The study authors believe the different effects come down to a feeling of productivity. Multitasking doesn’t let you feel like you’re accomplishing much, because you’re constantly jumping back and forth on your to-do list. But sticking to the same task for too long leads to boredom. 

Work that has both focus and variety gives you the best of both worlds. 

What exactly to look for

Understanding the company’s workflow is key to gauging variety. Ask how frequently new tasks are allocated and how often they change. 

7. Not having to fake happiness

They say fake it till you make it but this definitely doesn’t go for happiness at work. At work, you shouldn’t have to fake your happiness.

Being forced to look happy at work can cause a whole host of health problems, ranging from depression to cardiovascular conditions. 

In an experiment, students acted as staff at a fake customer complaints call center. Half were told they could verbally defend themselves against rude customers, and the other half to stay friendly and polite at all times. 

The group that could defend themselves had only slightly raised heart rates after the unpleasant interactions. But the group who had to stay polite had extremely elevated heart rates even long after the phone calls ended. 

Many of us would agree with the study author’s comments on these results:

It’s about time we did away with the concept that the customer is always right and showed more respect for those in customer service jobs.

Of course, very few jobs will give you the green light to openly be a grouch. The study found that short bursts of “faking it” are manageable for most people – the biggest problem is having to sustain it over a long time, such as being a flight steward. 

What exactly to look for

Avoid work where you have to constantly spend time with customers – especially if you are forced to look like the star of a toothpaste commercial. 

If the job has a customer service component, having the choice to take a short break when you need one can help offset the negative effects.

8. A steady sense of progress

Look for a job where you can have a steady sense of progress.

Research has found that good days at work are characterized by 3 things:

• Progress (by you or your team).
• Catalysts – actions that directly support work, including help from someone else.
• Nourishers – shows of respect or words of encouragement.

On the other hand, bad days are almost a mirror image, characterized by:

• Setbacks.
• Inhibitors – actions that fail to support or actively hinder work.
• Toxins – discouraging or undermining events.

This shows a clear relationship between progress and happiness. However, the study also points out that progress must go hand in hand with meaning. If you have a project you feel is useless or irrelevant, you can make all the progress in the world. You still won’t feel very fulfilled, or happy. 

Of course, “constant progress” or “no setbacks” is not something you can reasonably expect to be promised in any job. Issues will arise, no matter what your field, position, or experience may be. 

What you can have, though, is a team that works together to foster and celebrate progress. In particular, the last two items on both lists above are key tools. They have an enormous impact on your perception of your job and even yourself. 

For example, if your manager makes sure you have the resources you need (a catalyst), they’re signaling to you that what you’re doing is important and valuable. When they recognize your work (a nourisher), they’re signaling that you’re important to the organization. 

In this way, a manager both helps you make progress and also supports the meaningfulness of your work – two important aspects of being happy at work.

What exactly to look for

Ideally, your work should be divided into small milestones. This lets you take frequent steps forward and gain motivation through momentum. 

Second, it is important for your manager and team to help minimize hassles. Try to find out how the dynamic works – does everyone pull together to find solutions? If a problem arises, can you turn to someone for help or are you expected to deal with it all alone? 

9. Good relationships with colleagues

One of the absolute most important things to look for in a new job is good coworkers. 

A three-year study found that relationships are the leading contributor to workplace well-being – even more than meaning, accomplishments, and engagement. A massive survey by the Society for Human Resource Management confirms the same findings. 

More specifically, lots of research shows that helping people, be it close friends or strangers, increases happiness. Naturally, this goes for work environments as well. In particular, people who believe helping their coworkers is important are much happier with their lives 30 years later. 

The key is to make this part of your regular routine. Once you get started, it’ll probably be easy to keep it going: happier people help their coworkers 33% more.

What exactly to look for

You often don’t get a say in who you’ll be working alongside, or even the chance to meet them before your first day. But if you find work where people share similar core values, your chances of getting along with them will be significantly higher. 

Also, look for environments where you can collaborate with a team. This will offer you the chance to build a bond and give a happiness-boosting hand on a regular basis.

10. Effective feedback

Feedback is one of the most hated aspects of work. Too often, it seems unfair, off base, or poorly delivered. But when done correctly, it’s a powerful happiness booster.

You probably don’t need a study to tell you workers feel happier after they receive positive feedback. 

It also creates a sense of accomplishment and motivation. IBM’s WorkTrends survey found that employees who receive recognition are:

• Much less likely to quit.
• Happier at work overall.
• More productive.

It’s important for managers to leverage this and regularly give positive feedback. At the same time, they need to give constructive criticism too.

This is what motivates employees by giving essential information on where they stand and how they can improve. 

What exactly to look for

This is one of the aspects of work you do have some level of control over. If you don’t receive feedback in your job, you can simply ask for it!

But it’s also good to find work where managers are both used to and skilled at giving feedback. Studies show that the way feedback is given does matter – in particular, positive feedback must come before constructive criticism, and it should be delivered face-to-face with positive emotional signals like smiles and nods. 

So, unfortunately, your run-of-the-mill 360-report doesn’t count for very much. Try to find out more about how and how often employees can expect to receive feedback, and from who. 

11. A healthy work-life balance

As explained above, finding work that has meaning, a competent boss, autonomy, variety, and a collaborative team will make you happy. But nothing beats having a job that lets you shut your laptop and stop working. 

The World Happiness Report found that work-life balance is possibly the biggest factor contributing to employee happiness. This has been confirmed from nearly every possible angle.

The world’s happiest countries are also the ones who work the least amount of hours – and the unhappiest, the most. The American Psychological Association found that overworking negatively impacts both emotional and physical health, and many other studies confirm this too. 

Add to that the findings of another researcher, and the notion of overtime starts to lose all meaning. She conducted a study at a top consulting firm and found that some employees were reporting 80-hour workweeks. She also found that there was very little difference in productivity between those who actually worked 80 hours and those who only said they did. 

The bottom line? Nobody can be productive for that long, and trying will only make you miserable. 

What exactly to look for

It’s important to find out the company’s work-hour expectations and how rigidly they adhere to them. Check how work time is tracked and compensated, and if overtime is a regular occurrence. See if you can also find out if workers are still expected to do work tasks, such as answering emails, outside of work hours. 

Good teams help each other out, so it’s not a problem if you jump in to give a hand outside work hours once in a while. But there needs to be a system to keep track of your time and limits on how much of it you can give. 

How to check if a job fits the bill?

You may be able to guess many of these factors about a job just based on its location and industry. But don’t forget you have a powerful tool at your disposal: the interview. 

This may sometimes feel like an unpleasant cross-examination, but in fact, it’s a useful tool for both employee and employer to determine if they’d be a good fit. Use it to your advantage!

What to ask about during the interview to make sure your job will make you happy

Based on the tips I just laid out for you, here are some questions you can ask during an interview. These questions will help you determine whether or not your potential job will make you happy or not.

• What are the company’s goals? Do they align with your own?
• Who you would be working with? Do team members act autonomously or support each other?
• How feedback works between employer and employee. How often does it happen and how?
• How check-ins are done between employees and managers. How do employees communicate progress and setbacks to employers? How do employers react? (remember it’s not always a bad thing to have employers checking in, as long as they react the right way)
• What the workflow is like. How long do you work on the same task? How many tasks are you given at a certain time?
• How are work hours and breaks considered? Are they strict or is there a degree of flexibility?
• How tasks are divided and communicated. Do employees have a choice in what to do and prioritize?
• What portion of the day is spent with customers, and what is the company’s attitude towards dealing with rude customers? 

You might consider arranging a coffee with someone already on the team and having a chat about how it all works. Just be careful not to ask pointed questions to make them feel uncomfortable or like you’re criticizing the company.

Focus first and foremost on understanding the office dynamic and seeing if you could get along with this potential colleague.  

If you’re really having trouble assessing a job’s happiness potential, consider how it works with your idea of meaning and base your decision on that. Worst case scenario, you could always change your mind and quit down the line if it doesn’t turn out to be a good fit.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Hopefully, these tips will help you choose a job to maximize your happiness at work. If you follow the tips above, you’ll be sure to find a job that will fill you up with workplace bliss. But don’t consider the matter settled when you sign that contract! There are plenty of things you can continue to do right from your very first day at work to be happier at work.

Are you happy at work? Did you find it hard to find a job that made you happy? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 11 Tips to Find a Job That Makes You Happy (and Fulfilled) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

For the life of me, I couldn’t recall anything of substance that I did that day. Because the truth was, I didn’t do anything of substance that day. I was just wasting time. And unfortunately, it happened a lot more frequently than I wanted it to.

How is it possible that we waste so much time when we want to be productive so badly? Your intentions are in the right place, but you might be missing a few key practices. I found how to stop wasting time when I started doing just 4 simple things. And you can too, if you keep reading to find out what they are.

How to stop wasting time 

Wasting time is a frustrating reality that we all face in our daily lives. But you can minimize it with these 4 easy tips.

1. Get enough sleep

The first tip is something many people love the idea of, but few are willing to do. It’s getting enough quality sleep.

If you’ve ever had to pull an all-nighter, you’ll know the effects that sleep deprivation can have. Your judgment is impaired. Your productivity slows down. And thinking about anything complex feels like trudging through mud. 

In a nutshell, your brain can’t function properly. As a result, you take much longer to do things and waste even more time than you “gained” by staying up late. 

How I went from sleep deprivation to boosting my productivity

I know getting enough sleep can be easier said than done, but it’s really a matter of priority. 

I’m someone who would stay up all night if I could. I always have a million ideas of things to work on and goals to achieve. Sleeping felt like a waste of time. 

But when I started researching mental health and happiness, I realized just how important sleep is for both of these noble goals. So I started looking at bedtime the way I look at appointments and meetings — a commitment I must keep. 

The good thing is, there are more ways than one to sneak more sleep into your daily life. One influencer I follow on Instagram jokingly says that if she’s an advocate of anything, it’s sleep. She’ll take any opportunity to take a quick nap or close her eyes and let her brain zone out.

Whenever I feel tired, I often think of her and give myself permission to doze off even just for 15 minutes. If you want to stop wasting time, you should try to do the same. 

Follow these tips to get quality sleep and stop wasting time:

• Plan ahead to get 7-9 hours of sleep.
• Set a regular bedtime and wake-up time.
• Turn off all lights and sounds that could wake you up.
• Avoid alcohol and caffeine in the evening.
• Minimize electronics in the bedroom.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

2. Follow your desires

Have you ever tried finishing up a report, but all your brain could think about was that book you were reading?

Another way we waste time is by trying to go against our desires.

Granted, there are situations where we do have to hunker down and get something done, whether we feel like it or not. You don’t want to be irresponsible and neglect your duties, or wait until the last possible minute until your nerves are fried with stress. 

However, I would argue that letting yourself do what you want can actually save you time on many occasions. You’ll enjoy what you’re doing much more, first of all. And, you’ll be able to devote your full attention to it rather than half your neurons busy whining “But I don’t wanna!”

How to put it into practice

You can still be productive and work on something important to you — just choose it according to your mood and energy. 

Last year, I discovered a very complex yet cool spreadsheet tool that helps you do just this. In a nutshell, here’s how it works:

1. First, you list out your goals and the action steps associated with them. 
2. Then you categorize each one by how much physical energy, mental energy, and focus they take. 
3. Finally, you define various “mood modes” with the same three variables. For example, “deep focus” mode could be when you have high mental energy and focus but low physical energy. 
4. Whenever you want to be productive, take a moment to consider how you feel. Choose your mood in the spreadsheet. It will filter out goals that make the most sense for you to work on. 

Of course, you can take a simpler approach to this. For instance, just write out your goals and their associated moods on paper. Or, you can get wild and just play it by ear. 

The important thing is that you take into account how you feel, so you can be productive and stop wasting time.

3. Keep records of information you might need again

How many times can a person look up the same piece of information? Sadly, the heck of a lot.

I found this out firsthand when I started planning group trips for me and my friends. I was checking out various accommodation options and opened up a bunch of options from Booking. 

I started going through them one by one. This one’s too far, that one’s too expensive… is this one missing a bathroom door? Maybe something smaller would be better, like that first option I saw. Wait, which one was it again? Darn it, I closed the tab already. *Cue a 15-minute search through my Chrome history*. Oh whatever, I’ll just find it again on the map. Wait, did I look at this apartment already?

And so on and so forth. After the first episode of this drove me to near insanity, I started taking a much more organized approach. 

• Whenever I checked out an apartment, I saved it in one of two lists — “yes” or “no”. 
• I then went through the “yes” options and jotted down a few key points: distance from the event location, price per person, square meters, number of beds, etc. 
• I saved this list somewhere it was easy to copy so I could send it out to group chats or consult whenever needed.

What you can apply this to

This is just one example of something you can apply across a myriad of situations. Aside from the above, I have also started keeping track of:

• Favorite passages from books I read, along with page numbers
• A list of things I always pack whenever I go on a trip
• Subscription renewal and expiry dates 
• Websites and apps where I can find discounts and deals
• Loyalty and membership numbers
• Events I’m thinking of going to
• Locations and addresses I frequently visit

Basically, if you think you might need to check something again, you probably will. Just save it somewhere you can easily find it again, whether that’s a bookmark in your browser, a note on your phone, or a label in Google Maps. 

4. See the necessity and value in wasting time

There’s a very powerful parable I read, in a book that I can’t remember. It went something like this. 

When you stand in any room, you’re only using a few square inches of the floor — the ones your feet are standing on. Therefore, all the other unused space in the room can be considered useless, or a waste. 

But imagine it disappears. Now, you only have a few inches of floor under your feet. And you’re completely unable to move. The same thing happens when you try to use all of the space. Once again, you become unable to move, because all of the space is being taken up by something already. 

Space is only useful when most of it is unused. And though time and space obviously aren’t the same, we can apply the same thinking to productivity as well. You need to have a lot of time available in order to do anything meaningful with some of it.

Trying to use all of it “productively” is not only impossible, but it is also a surefire way to make yourself miserable.

If you’d like to explore this idea further, I’d highly recommend reading the book Four Thousand Weeks. It has some incredible insights into our mindset toward time and how we use it on this planet. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Ready to stop wasting time?

There are arguably many things that can help you to stop wasting time. In fact, I covered 19 ways to boost productivity in a previous article. 

The tips above are the top 4 things that personally helped me the most. I see a huge difference in how much I get done, and most importantly how I feel about living my life. And hopefully, so will you.

What has helped you the most to stop wasting time? Share your personal favorite tip in the comments below. 

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 4 Tips to Stop Wasting Time (and Be More Productive) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.