On the flip side, learning how to overcome self-sabotaging behavior can help you crush the barriers standing in between you and your dreams. And once you have learned how to avoid these behaviors, you start to realize how mastering your internal thoughts and behavior is the key to living a life that excites you.

If you’re ready to do the deep work of letting go of self-sabotaging behavior, then you’ve come to the right place. In this article, I will detail steps you can take to avoid self-sabotage and cultivate greater self-love and appreciation in its place.

Why do we self-sabotage?

If we all long to be happy and achieve our own personal definition of success, why do we get in our own way? It’s a fair question that often has a very personal answer.

There are many reasons we may self-sabotage, but one of the most common is that we actually fear success. A study in 2010 found that individuals who scored high on a scale measuring fear of success were far more likely to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors.

Other research indicates that women, in particular, may self-sabotage secondary to low self-esteem and their assumed gender-biased roles in socialization.  

I find that I personally default to self-sabotaging behaviors to avoid my true feelings or when I’m afraid of change. It’s taken years of self-reflection and external help to understand this about myself, but learning what is at the root of my self-sabotaging behavior has actually been really freeing.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

The impact of the self-sabotage cycle

Self-sabotage has the potential to negatively influence many aspects of your life.

Research indicates that consistently engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors may make it difficult to maintain healthy and committed romantic relationships. Turns out the whole, “It’s not you, it’s me” saying is spot on after all.

And if you aren’t concerned about love, then it’s important to note that individuals who self-sabotage are less likely to succeed in academic environments, which can influence their overall career path and future life choices.

I don’t know about you, but I like the thought of having healthy relationships and being able to thrive academically. So it seems to me that it’s in our best interest to take a good hard look at our own behavior and stop self-sabotage in its tracks.

7 ways to stop self-sabotage

If you’re really ready to get out of your own way and put an end to self-sabotage, then these 7 steps are sure to get you there.

1. Identify the self-sabotaging behavior

It may sound silly, but in order to keep yourself from self-sabotaging you have to realize how you’re doing it in the first place.

I used to have a not-so-helpful habit of devouring half of my kitchen the second I got home from work. I always just thought I was really hungry after a hard day of honest work.

In reality, I realized that I was using food as a quick fix to get a dopamine hit instead of dealing with my stress in relation to work. I wanted the quick “feel good” emotion that food brings me. I didn’t even realize this until my life coach pointed it out.

Had I never realized that this was self-sabotaging behavior, I may have never been able to find healthier ways to cope with my stress and I would still be confused as to why I could never lose that last 5-10 pounds to achieve my “summer bod” goals.

Take the time to look at what is standing between you and your goals. More likely than not, this will reveal a less-than-helpful behavior that is a form of self-sabotage. Once the behavior is identified, you can begin to take steps to avoid it.

2. Find healthy behaviors to replace the self-sabotage

Once you know how you are self-sabotaging yourself, you have to find a healthier replacement behavior or mental cue that reminds you to not do the self-sabotaging action.

Let’s go back to my example of slamming down food the second I got home from work. Once I knew I was self-sabotaging my mental health and my health goals, I was able to figure out a few replacement options to deal with work-related stress.

Now when I get home, I do one of two things. One thing I do is I immediately exercise to get a healthier dopamine hit and process my feelings from the workday.

The other option I’ve come up with is calling my mom or husband on the way home from work to process the workday with the intention of discussing at least 3 good things that happened that day to alleviate overall stress.

As it turns out, it’s not so hard to lose weight when you don’t use food as a way to deal with your stress. Big shout out to my life coach for helping direct me to the right path on this one. My abs thank her, too!

3. Change your internal dialogue

Another critical way to stop self-sabotaging is to check on the conversations you have with yourself.

Are you constantly talking about your fear of success or failure in your own head? Or are you your own best cheerleader?

I remember I was up for a potential promotion at work and I kept telling myself I wasn’t worthy of the promotion. And guess what? They opened the floor for negotiation and because I had been talking myself down, I ended up missing out on an opportunity for a substantial pay raise.

I tend to learn lessons the hard way. But now when it comes to work or any other aspect of my life, I make it a point to hype myself up and focus on the best possible outcome.

Your thoughts are powerful. You may as well harness that power for your own good instead of your own detriment.

4. Identify what you’re really afraid of

Sometimes when we self-sabotage it’s because we fear success and what that would mean for our lives.

Another piece to the story of me not getting a deserved promotion was that I was afraid that if I got paid more than my colleagues they would resent me. I also was afraid that if I really did get the promotion, I might let my bosses down in a way that made them realize I wasn’t worth that pay grade.

This fear contributed to my negative self-talk and not getting the promotion. If I had taken the time to look at what I was really afraid of and address it objectively, the outcome could have been much different.

I am often able to figure this out on my own if I spend some time journaling about the situation and dumping all my thoughts onto paper, so I can see patterns and be brutally honest with myself.

5. Rethink your goals

Sometimes when we’re self-sabotaging it’s because the goal we’re working towards doesn’t actually mean anything to us.

I had a goal to do yoga 3 to 5 times a week to improve my flexibility, but every time it came time to leave for yoga class, I found an excuse for why I couldn’t go. After months of spending money on a class membership that I wasn’t using, I finally got real with myself.

While I care about my flexibility, I’d rather just do a few targeted stretches instead of 30 minutes to an hour’s worth of stretching. I was trying to force myself to do something that I inherently didn’t care about, so self-sabotage was just a natural reaction in accordance with that.

By reframing my goal to stretching for just 10 minutes after my workouts, I was able to actually achieve a goal that meant something to me and avoid self-sabotaging behavior.

6. Embrace discomfort

Often, self-sabotage stems from an innate desire to remain in our comfort zones, even when it’s detrimental to our growth. Embracing discomfort is about consciously deciding to undertake tasks that challenge your current skill set and push your boundaries.

This means saying ‘yes’ to opportunities that scare you slightly but promise growth and learning. It’s about understanding that discomfort is a temporary but necessary step towards achieving your goals. Instead of shying away from challenges, take them head-on. Reflect on what you can learn from each situation, and remember that growth is often found in discomfort.

In practice, this could mean volunteering for a challenging project at work or trying out a new hobby that intimidates you. The key is to start small and gradually increase the level of challenge. By doing so, you’ll slowly build your tolerance for discomfort and reduce the urge to retreat to old self-sabotaging habits.

7. Cultivate mindful awareness

Mindful awareness is about being fully present and engaged with the current moment without judgment. It’s about noticing your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations as they arise and recognizing them as temporary and not an absolute reflection of reality.

By cultivating mindful awareness, you become more adept at noticing when you’re about to engage in self-sabotaging behavior and can choose a more constructive path.

Start by incorporating short mindfulness practices into your daily routine. This can be as simple as a five-minute breathing exercise where you focus solely on your breath. Whenever your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath. As you become more comfortable with this practice, you can extend the time or include other mindfulness techniques, such as body scans or mindful walking.

The goal is to strengthen your ability to stay present and decrease the automaticity of self-sabotage. With time and practice, you’ll be able to catch yourself before falling into the trap of self-sabotage and redirect your actions towards more positive outcomes.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

You don’t have to stand in your own way when it comes to finding happiness and success. You can step aside and ditch self-sabotaging behaviors by using the tips outlined in this article. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll realize that once you get out of your own way life becomes a whole lot easier and that maybe you were your own roadblock to success all along.

Do you often find yourself self-sabotaging? What’s your favorite way to combat self-sabotaging? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 7 Ways to Break the Cycle of Self Sabotage appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

I’ve been in your shoes one too many times. Whether it’s a significant other or a close friend, letting go of people can be one of the most painful life experiences. However, when you fully let go of that person, you are gifting yourself the love and healing that you deserve. And letting go can open the door to new opportunities and healthy relationships that fill up your cup instead of always causing it to spill over.

If you’re ready-and I mean really ready- to find the freedom that lies on the other side when you let that person go, then this article is for you. We will cover tangible steps you can take today to finally let go.

Why letting go is tough

When I have to let someone go, there are typically one of two feelings that I am afraid of.

One of those feelings that I desperately want to avoid is immense grief and the other is concern that I may regret the decision down the line. In reality, neither of these emotions are a good reason to hold on to someone when you know it’s not good for either of you.

Logic tells you to let the person go, but science has even found that after letting someone go the areas of your brain associated with sadness have increased activity. And no one likes to feel sad. This makes it terribly challenging to actually disassociate with the relationship.

Another study found that anxiety, depression, and sleep disturbances all increase initially after letting go of a person you love.

It’s no wonder that despite logic telling us to make one decision, we avoid letting go to try to stave off the pain that comes with loss.

Why it’s important to sometimes let someone go

At this point in the article, you might be saying, “So why in the world would I want to let someone go?”

It’s appealing to avoid all the potential pain and negative emotions that can come right after a loss. But the long-term benefits definitely outweigh the initial blunt impact.

Research indicates that unhealthy relationships have the potential to reduce the effectiveness of your immune system. This means that your unhealthy relationship could literally decrease your lifespan and increase your risk of developing a disease.

Not only does your physical health improve after letting go, but you also lower your risk for depression. A study in 2009 found that problematic interpersonal relationships in the work environment significantly increased the odds that the person would develop depression.

I don’t know about you, but I like it when my immune system does its job well and I certainly don’t fancy depression. When I’m tempted to hold on to someone I shouldn’t, I have to remind myself against my own better judgment that I will be happier down the road after wading my way through the initial suffering of the loss.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

7 ways to let someone go

It’s time to grab your shears because we’re going to explore five ways you can cut ties with the relationships that no longer serve you and your potential.

1. Be clear about why you’re letting them go

Sometimes when we’re struggling to let someone go, it’s because we haven’t taken the time to clearly establish why we’re letting them go.

You can’t just give vague reasons like, “I know what my boyfriend and I have isn’t healthy.” You have to pinpoint exactly why it is that you need to let them go, so you have enough willpower to actually do it.

Towards the end of my 4-year relationship with a boyfriend, I absolutely knew that it was time to end things. But I tiptoed my way around breaking up for six months until my friend sat me down and forced me to say out loud all of the things that were not quite right with the relationship.

Saying it out loud and defining what was wrong made me finally take the plunge to end things. And after the heartbreak settled, I felt like a million-ton weight had been lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe again.

2. Distance yourself

This can be so stinking hard if you’re super close to the person.

And yes, this includes distancing yourself from them on social media. Because we all know that you won’t be able to resist the urge to creepily stalk your ex on Instagram for months on end if you don’t press that unfollow button.

If you don’t put physical and social distance between you and the person, you are bound to end up connecting again. And if you’ve made the decision that this person is not worth holding on to, you need to stick to your guns.

And it’s true what they say. Out of sight, out of mind. When you distance yourself, you make it easier to avoid falling back into old relationship habits and traps.

3. Let yourself feel your feelings

Of all the tips in this article, this is the one I personally struggle with the most.

I am the queen of distracting myself to avoid “feeling my feelings”. But when you let go of someone, you are in a sense experiencing a trauma.

And if you don’t allow yourself to feel the grief that accompanies trauma, you are bound to bottle it up deep down and this can affect your healthy relationships.

I remember one time after I cut ties with a good friend I tried to just stay busy and move on with my life. But because I never took the time to process my emotions, my close relationships started to notice I was distant when we would hang out.

Deep down, I was afraid that I would have to let go of them, too. And because I didn’t allow myself to process my emotions after the loss of that friend, it subconsciously affected how I viewed my other relationships.

So take the time to get all up in your “feelers”. I really mean it. And if that means drowning in a pint of ice cream and cuddling your dog for a month straight, I won’t judge you.

4. Dig deeper into your healthy relationships

After you let someone go, it can be easy to forget that you still have so many incredible interpersonal relationships in your life.

And now that you’ve freed up some energy, it’s a great time to dive deep into your healthy connections.

I’ve always found that after the loss of a relationship, I grow closer to my loved ones. My relationship with my mother didn’t truly blossom until I went through a nasty breakup.

Through her support during that rough time, I came to know her on a deeper level and learned how her past experiences shaped who she is today.

There are always going to be people in this world who want to engage in meaningful relationships with you. Don’t let the loss of one bad seed blind you to all the good that surrounds you.

5. Focus on self-care

After losing someone you care about, it’s important to take time to invest in taking care of yourself.

The energy and time you devote to that relationship can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being.

In order to give yourself the fresh start you deserve, you need to make sure your needs are met. The following are some of my tried-and-true forms of self-care that I rely on after the loss of a close relationship:

• Hot bubble bath with a glass of wine.
• Making sure I get 8 or more solid hours of sleep.
• Booking a vacation that I’ve been putting off.
• Making sure I get at least 20 minutes of sunlight daily.
• Watching cheesy movies to cheer myself up.
• Moving my body in whatever way feels good to me that day.

It really doesn’t matter what your self-care looks like. It’s just important that you put it into action after letting someone go so you can effectively heal and move on.

6. Reflect on past lessons

When trying to let go of someone, it’s helpful to reflect on the lessons learned from the relationship. Ask yourself what this relationship has taught you about your needs, boundaries, and values. Recognize the growth that has come from your experiences, both good and bad.

This doesn’t mean dwelling on the past but rather acknowledging it as a stepping stone to a better understanding of yourself and your future relationships.

Write down the key lessons you’ve learned from the relationship in a journal. Consider how these insights can guide you in future relationships and personal growth. Whenever you find yourself missing the person, refer to these lessons as reminders of why moving forward is beneficial for your well-being.

7. Reinvest in your interests

Letting go of someone often means you’ll have more time and energy to invest in yourself. Revisit old hobbies and interests that you might have neglected or explore new activities that you’ve always wanted to try. This not only helps to distract you from the pain of letting go but also builds your identity and happiness independent of the relationship.

Make a list of activities you love or have wanted to try, and commit to doing one each week.

Whether it’s painting, hiking, learning a new language, or cooking a new recipe, immersing yourself in these activities will boost your mood and self-esteem. Share your experiences with friends or family, or join a community or class to further enrich your engagement and form new connections.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

There is no easy way to let someone go. If I could wave a magic wand to make the pain go away, I would. But if you follow the steps in this article, you can cut ties in a way that allows you to experience new freedom and sustainable joy in life. And when you finally let that person go, you can hold on tight to the people and experiences in life that matter most.

What do you think? Have you ever had to let someone go and found it extremely difficult? I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments below.

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 7 Tips to Help You Let Go of Someone and Move Forward appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

I have wasted way too many years of my life being that person. But the reality is your life is happening here and now amidst the mundane. When you truly wake up and make an intentional effort to make the day count, you start to feel like you are fully alive and present in the moment. And you begin to realize that by making every single day count, you are putting yourself that much closer to achieving your goals.

If you’re ready to stop pressing snooze on your life experience, dive into this article to learn some tips to help you make today one for the memory books.

Why you should focus on today

It’s easy to think that today is just another day. And then spend your free time thinking about your weekend or all the tomorrows that are full of way more fun plans than today.

Trust me, I get it. I’m human and there are days when I tell myself to just get through the day.

But the research indicates that if we can become more present and mindful of the present moment, we will be better able to cope with any stressors that do come our way and we will experience greater levels of positivity.

And a study from 2017 found that being present in the moment is an evidence-based way to boost your psychological health.

I don’t know about you, but I sure could use all the help I can get when it comes to being better at dealing with stress and improving my mental health. And science makes a pretty strong case that I ought to be focusing on the present and make today count.

What happens when you always think about tomorrow

When you are constantly focusing on what tomorrow holds and living in a state of distraction, you lose your ability to enjoy today.

Not convinced? Well, let’s look at what the science says then.

A study from 2016 found that individuals who were more mindful and present were able to better regulate their mood than individuals who did not embrace mindfulness.

So if you’re in a funk in life, the solution might be starting to become present in the here and now.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What does it mean to make today count?

To “make today count” means to use your time in a meaningful, productive, or fulfilling way so that at the end of the day, you feel that you’ve achieved something significant or made the most of your time.

This concept focuses on the importance of the present moment and encourages actions and mindsets that contribute positively to your life and the lives of others.

7 ways to make today count

Now we know that all those cheesy signs in your mom’s living room that say, “Make today the best day ever!” aren’t totally full of crap. So let’s dive into how you can actually make today the best day ever.

1. Spend time with the people you love

One of the best ways to make today feel more worthwhile is to prioritize spending time with the people in your life who mean the most to you.

It is so darn easy to fill up your day with meaningless activities that leave you feeling drained and exhausted. But when was the last time you spent quality time with your spouse or best friend and found yourself saying afterward, “Wow – what a waste of time”?

I hope the answer is never. And if it’s not, you’ll have to read a separate article to figure out what’s going on there.

Every time I have a date night planned with my husband or I grab a coffee with a close friend, I feel like it brightens my day and helps me enjoy the moment.

2. Choose your attitude

I used to be a bratty teenager who hated when my mom would tell me I needed to change my attitude. My gut reaction was always to say something along the lines of, “Don’t tell me what to do!”.

But here is one of my millions of formal apologies to my mother because once again, she was right.

If you want to make today count, the best advice I can offer is to change your attitude.

Everything that happens to you today can be happening for you or happening to you. If you actively embrace an attitude that life is happening for you, then no matter what comes your way today you can experience joy and make the best of it.

This also ties in with our advice on how to not live life as a victim!

3. Take the next step towards your goal

Sometimes the reason we dread the day ahead is we’re not taking steps towards our goals.

There was a period in my life a few years back when I thought that setting and working towards goals was overrated. And when I look back on this period of my life, this is a time when I struggled to get out of bed in the morning and just trudged my way through each day.

Whether or not you like goals, the truth is that goals help give you a sense of purpose. And when you have purpose and feel like you are contributing to developing yourself or helping others, you are inclined to want to make the most of every day.

This doesn’t mean you have to take a massive step towards your goal. Some days my steps towards my goals look as simple as bringing coffee from home instead of picking it up on the way to work because I want to save money to help pay off my student loans.

4. Give back

I can’t be more positive about this one tip. If you’re going to ignore all the other tips, that’s fine, but please don’t ignore this one.

Giving back in just about any way is an incredible way to not only make today count but also to totally shift your mood and outlook on life.

Whenever I get in a funk, I try to make it a point to sign up to go volunteer at my local food bank that Saturday. It never fails that after I leave there, I feel a sense of renewed hope and gratitude.

And if ultimately we all want to leave the world a better place, then I can’t think of a better way to make today count than giving back in whatever way you can.

5. Have something you look forward to each day

This one is particularly helpful for me when it comes to those times when I feel like I am in a slump with work.

Having something simple to look forward to each day helps me to remember that even weekdays are meaningful and that all the fun doesn’t have to be bottled up for the weekend.

Here are some examples of things or activities I will plan to make sure I have a little something to look forward to:

• Choosing a type of exercise I enjoy to do that day.
• Planning to take my dog to the park.
• Baking cookies in the evening.
• Having a specific movie picked out to watch that evening.
• Setting up a time to catch up with a friend in person or one the phone.
• Trying out a new evening class involving a fun hobby.
• Going for a short hike and spending time in the sun.

My list might sound lame or boring to you. And that’s why you have to create your own list. 

But make it a priority to have some little nugget of joy that you can look forward to each day of the week.

6. Practice mindful eating

Engaging in mindful eating is a powerful way to make today count. This involves being fully present during meals, savoring each bite, and acknowledging the flavors and textures of your food. It’s about turning a daily necessity into a moment of mindfulness and gratitude.

Start by eliminating distractions during meals – no phones, no TV, just you and your meal. Focus on the experience of eating: notice the colors on your plate, the aroma of the food, and how each bite tastes.

By making mealtime a mindful practice, you transform an ordinary part of your day into an extraordinary moment of presence and appreciation.

7. Declutter your space

The state of our physical environment can greatly influence our mental well-being. Taking the time to declutter and organize your living or working space can make today more productive and fulfilling.

Begin with a small, manageable area – your desk, a drawer, or a shelf. As you sort through items, ask yourself if each one brings value to your life. If not, consider donating or discarding it. This process of decluttering is not just about creating physical space but also about letting go of the unnecessary.

An organized space can lead to an organized mind, helping you focus better on your tasks and goals. Plus, the act of decluttering can be incredibly satisfying, giving you a sense of accomplishment that carries through the rest of your day.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

You don’t have to keep pressing the snooze button when it comes to living your life. You can make today count by implementing a few of the tips mentioned in this article. And when you make today count, you might find that you start to look forward to your alarm clock going off each morning.

What do you think? Do you find it hard to make every day count? Do you have a favorite tip that you would like to share with others? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 7 Simple Ways to Make Today Count (with Meaningful Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

By not getting offended so easily, you minimize your own stress levels and open yourself up to the world of personal growth. And when you truly embrace letting things slide off your shoulders, you come to better understand yourself and others to help all relationships in your life thrive.

This article will teach you how to turn down the volume on your instinctive offended reaction so you can grow as an individual and in your relationships.

Why do we get offended?

Why can’t we all just get along and have world peace? Sounds great, am I right?

I wish it was that simple. But the reality of human nature is that we don’t like it when our ego is threatened or when someone goes against our personal values.

Research has found that we tend to get offended when our self-image or a public image that is important to us is being challenged. It also suggests that a high sense of self-esteem may in part mediate these effects and help us feel less offended.

In other words, we don’t like it when people question who we are or question an organization that we strongly believe in. I think this is in part because our ego likes to feel “right” or “in charge”.

You don’t have to be a scientist to experience this. All you have to do is start talking politics with a friend or family member who doesn’t hold the same opinion as you to see this in action.

Within moments, you will find that you can offend that person because you have challenged their personal beliefs or a politician who they hold in high regard.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What happens when you’re easily offended?

You may think that being easily offended has no consequences other than making you mad. Unfortunately, the research suggests otherwise.

A study in 2020 found that individuals who were more easily offended demonstrated poorer task performance at work and had more negative attitudes as perceived by their supervisor. This generally resulted in fewer healthy relationships between the worker and their supervisor.

As a human who used to err on the side of being easily offended before entering the medical profession, I can attest that it strongly influences stress and anxiety.

I remember I used to get worked up when someone would say something negative about me. Or I would get self-conscious when someone would speak negatively about my chosen profession.

All this ever did was leave me feeling a lack of self-worth or engaging in negative emotions that drained my energy.

It wasn’t until I got better at letting things go and valuing myself that I realized that 9 times out of 10 being offended really just isn’t worth it for your own well-being.

8 ways to not get offended easily

These 8 tips are here to help you learn how to gracefully navigate that offensive moment so you can allow yourself to let it just slide right off your shoulders.

1. Identify why it is that you’re offended

This is probably the most important tip of all. If someone offends you, it’s probably telling you something about yourself.

This matters because you need to identify if getting offended is your cue to work on a problem you have with yourself.

I remember when I was a new grad, one of my coworkers told me I was “too nice”. They said that’s why people felt like they could walk all over me.

Immediately, I felt offended and thought something immature along the lines of, “Well maybe” you’re too mean and that’s why your patients complain!”.

Luckily, instead of going with my inner two-year-old response, I reflected for a moment.

When I realized that I was getting offended because I knew at some level it was true. There are moments when I let a patient’s wants and desires trump what I know they need during a treatment session.

Once I realized this, I felt less offended. I then realized this was my cue to work on clear communication with my patients while setting healthy boundaries so they did not walk all over me.  

2. Differentiate constructive criticism from true rudeness

It’s important to realize that not everyone is out to offend you. Sometimes a person is just trying to give you constructive criticism and you are choosing to be offended.

When your boss gives you negative feedback about a work-related task or if your partner tells you that you’re really bad at texting them back, they probably aren’t doing so with the intent of making you mad.

Now, remember, I’m not saying it’s easy to not get offended by these things. I’m saying that you need to recognize that they are giving you feedback with the hope that you’ll take it into consideration and change your behavior.

This is not to say that there are not times in life when someone isn’t just plain rude. But take the time to differentiate if the person is attempting to give you meaningful feedback or not.

That simple differentiation can make all the difference when it comes to avoiding getting offended.  

3. Take a minute

If you immediately feel your blood boiling after someone says or does something, odds are you should not react right at that moment.

Your immediate reaction will most likely reflect that you are offended. At that moment, you will rarely be your “best self”.

You can literally step away physically or you can internally countdown from 60. I tend to force myself to take at least 5 deep breaths.

By doing this, you interrupt your reaction long enough to decide how you would like to react.

You’d be surprised that within those moments you can often realize that whatever you were getting offended by probably isn’t worth your time and energy.

4. Remember that no one is perfect

I think a universal truth that we have to remember when it comes to getting offended is that none of us are perfect. Humans make mistakes and sometimes they are super messy.

I’m sure you can recall a time when you said something and you knew the second that it came out of your mouth you regretted it.

Or maybe you acted in a way that offended someone and had absolutely zero clue that what you were doing was offensive until they told you later.

When you remember that we all make mistakes, it’s easier to let things go when someone does something that bothers you.

Remember your own imperfection the next time someone offends you and I bet you’ll let it go so much faster.  

5. Embrace diversity

Sometimes when we’re offended, we’re closing ourselves off to the idea that there are other ways of viewing the world.

I find this particularly comes into play for me when it comes to religion or politics. Like most folks, I have my own set of strong beliefs that have served me well over the years.

When someone comes out and says something that directly contradicts my views, I inherently want to tell them that they are wrong. I want to explain the crap out of why my way is the best way.

But by doing this, I’m not acknowledging that my views and perception of the world are not the only way of seeing things.

Having become good friends with people who think differently and come from a variety of religious backgrounds, I’ve come to appreciate that I won’t always agree with someone.

Even views and opinions that are distinctly different from my own teach me something or help me better understand myself when I choose not to be immediately offended by them.

6. Be willing to listen

My personal favorite tip for not being so easily offended is to be willing to listen to the person who has offended you.

When you listen instead of closing yourself off because of a person’s words or actions, you might gain insight into why they said or behaved in the way they did.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine said something about how people who have debt don’t know how to work hard while they are in college.

As someone who has debt from graduate school, I naturally found this offensive as I believe I worked hard in grad school despite having debt.

Instead of telling this friend to go stick it where the sun doesn’t shine, I decided to listen. After a few minutes, I came to realize that he worked 3 jobs to support his family while going to school full-time to get his bachelor’s degree.

No one is going to argue that it was hard work and respect that he is debt-free because of that. After acknowledging my respect for his path, I was able to gracefully communicate how a medical graduate program is already 40 hours a week in the classroom without including the study time outside of class in order to pass.

Instead of either of us getting offended and leaving the conversation mad, we both came to understand each other’s points of view. This allowed us to respectfully conclude that every person gets to choose how they pursue funding for their education.

7. Consider the other side

Before taking offense, pause to consider the other person’s point of view. Misunderstandings often occur because of different backgrounds and communication styles. Reflect on whether the comment was intended to hurt, or if it’s a result of differing perspectives. This doesn’t justify rudeness but understanding intent can prevent unnecessary hurt.

When you feel offended, instead of reacting, ask the person to explain their point of view. Listen without interrupting. This can provide clarity and sometimes, a chance for the other person to realize their words may have been hurtful, paving the way for a constructive conversation.

8. Proactively communicate boundaries

Make it known what you consider offensive by setting clear boundaries beforehand. This preventive strategy helps others understand your limits and reduces the likelihood of disrespectful encounters. It’s about creating a mutual respect that acknowledges your comfort zones.

Think about what upsets you and communicate these boundaries to others respectfully. For instance, say, “I find jokes on certain topics uncomfortable, I’d appreciate if we avoid those.” This approach helps manage your emotional space and encourages others to be considerate of your feelings.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

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Wrapping up

It sure is easier to let yourself get worked up and flip the bird when someone offends you. But by using the tips from this article, you can save yourself the wasted energy of getting offended and put that energy towards improving yourself. And by unlearning the natural art of getting easily offended, you’re sure to make far more friends than enemies.

Do you recognize yourself in some of the examples in this article? Do find it hard to not be offended? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 8 Tips to Not Get Offended Easily (And Why It’s so Important!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

In today’s modern world, it takes a concerted effort to protect your peace. With your work, your relationships, and the media all fighting for your energy, it’s critical to learn how to control your headspace. Because without a sense of inner peace, the world will quickly fill you with negativity and try to control your emotions for you.

This article will teach you how to protect your peace and give you the tools you need to stop letting stress take the lead in your life.

What exactly is personal peace

We all have some generic definition of peace that comes to mind when you hear the word. You probably picture someone who is calm and smells like essential oils.

And while I’m a total fan of essential oils, personal peace is so much more than an aesthetic. According to research, inner peace is composed of the following four main areas:

• Spirituality.
• Harmony.
• Positivity.
• Lifestyle factors.

These four components work together to help create a sense of balance and well-being in your life. And when any of these areas are a little off, you tend to not be able to experience complete peace.

This definition really resonates with me. When you understand that a higher power and deeper meaning is involved in life, you can find greater peace. 

This deeper understanding combined with the harmony of not being in conflict with others helps you to feel at ease. Then you add in a positive mindset and a lifestyle that fosters mindfulness and it sounds like the perfect recipe for a blissful life.  

It’s those moments when I feel lost in relation to my higher purpose, upset with others, or I’m cultivating a negative mindset that I lose my peace.

If you think about times of peace in your life, I’m sure you can identify how these four factors played a role in fostering that sense of well-being for you.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

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What happens when you lose your personal peace

So why is it that we care about inner peace to begin with? Well, all it takes is experiencing the opposite of inner peace to understand why it’s critical to strive to protect your inner peace.

Think about the last time you lost that sense of peace in your life. How would you describe it? My answer is I felt stressed out of my mind.

And while stress may sound inconsequential, the research demonstrates that long-lasting stress has the potential to have a widespread impact on your body.

This research shows that sustained stress is often at the root of many common chronic diseases that we face as a society.

Beyond just your physical well-being, chronic variable stress has been shown to reduce your cognitive functioning and put you at a higher risk for developing Alzheimer’s disease.

When I lack inner peace, it’s not uncommon for me to feel sick or run down. It’s as though my engine knows that something is off. Consequently, it forces an unwanted emergency shutdown.

Aiming for inner peace may just sound like something nice to aspire to, but in reality, it may be the key to a healthy brain and body in the long run. And as someone who likes their brain and their body functioning at their highest, I’d say it’s worth taking the time to learn to protect your peace.

9 ways to protect your peace

Let’s dive into some of the essential mental kung-fu skills you need to master to protect your inner peace.

1. Choose what you give your energy to

Throughout the course of a day, you are given an important choice. You get to choose from moment to moment what you will give your energy to.

You may give a good chunk of your energy to your job or maybe you give it to developing a relationship with a loved one. The key here is that you’re in control.

Where this becomes important to remember is when things don’t go quite how you’d like them to. Chaos and mistakes are bound to happen. It’s just a part of life.

But when it comes to protecting your peace, you can choose to indulge your energy in negative daily events and spiral into a ball of stress. Or you can choose to not spend energy stressing over the things which you don’t have control over.

The choice is truly always yours, so choose wisely.

2. Know when to say no

One of the most powerful words you may need to learn to use to protect your peace is the word “no”.

I am a natural people pleaser, so this isn’t something I do gracefully. It continues to take practice.

But in times when I’m stressed or when something feels out of balance, I know I need to stop saying “yes” to everything. This includes taking on that last-minute project at work. This includes that midnight dance party on a Tuesday before you have a big presentation the next day.

Maybe you just have too much on your plate or maybe you need to say no to set a clear boundary with other people.

Whatever the case may be, saying “no” is your way of saying “yes” to your own inner peace.

3. Take a graceful exit

Sometimes, protecting your inner peace means knowing when to exit the scene.

Just a few weeks ago, I got into a heated disagreement with my friend. It became clear after about 30 minutes of dialogue that we were both only getting more worked up.

I could feel what I thought was my blood boiling with each word he said. At that moment, I realized that we were not going to see eye to eye.

And in order to protect my inner well-being, the best decision was to gracefully leave the situation. By exiting, I gave myself the space to calm down and restore my own well-being.

In this case, I was able to re-engage with the conversation at a later date from a position of peace. In some cases, your exit may be permanent.

And it’s totally okay if your exit is permanent. Because at the end of the day, your inner well-being is worth it.

4. Create a morning routine

One of my favorite ways to protect my peace is through my personal morning routine. It’s taken me a few years to get it just right, but my morning routine is a surefire way to foster my inner peace.

Having a morning routine assures that you are starting your day out on your terms and taking intentional efforts to focus on the good in life.

Your morning routine could consist of:

• Exercise.
• Meditation.
• Journaling.
• Writing a gratitude list.
• Stretching.
• Watching the sunrise.

The exact details are less important. Just take the time to craft a morning routine that helps you bulletproof your mind for the inevitable stressors of the day.

5. Get your sleep

No one feels calm and collected after a poor night’s sleep. If you’re anything like me, you transform into the physical form of a monster with absolutely no patience.

Prioritizing your sleep helps to combat stress and gives you a tank that is fueled to adapt to the events of the day.

I know this advice is boring and you hear it again and again. But there’s a reason you hear it everywhere.

Sleep really is one of the magical ingredients needed for optimizing your mental well-being. As someone who only recently started focusing on getting a full 8 hours each night, I can’t even begin to tell you how much it has helped enhance my mindset.

6. Don’t bring work home

Another classic piece of advice, right? Well, there’s a reason the classics are classic.

Bringing work home with you all the time is signaling to your brain that your inner well-being is not a priority to you. Read that again.

No job is so important that you should sacrifice doing the things that refill your cup. Sure there are times when you have to make sacrifices and work a little extra.

But allowing work to always come home with you becomes a habitual practice that sets you up for a life that is full of anything but peace.

I used to always bring home my documentation from the clinic to work on it. By doing so, I ended up carrying something that lingered at the back of my mind when I was walking my dog. It’s like I couldn’t let go of work because I had something unfinished in my proximity.

Leave work at work. Home needs to be your safe space where you shouldn’t let anything disturb your calm.

7. Get off your phone

I saved the zinger for last! One of the main sources of lack of contentment and peace is that bright screen you carry in your pocket.

It is so easy to get caught up on your phone for hours on end only to feel unrested and disconnected from your life.

About three months ago, I made a decision to delete my social media. This in part stemmed from feeling a strange sense of anxiety and discontent after wasting hours scrolling through it.

I am being quite literal when I cannot begin to tell you how much this simple switch has helped me feel alive again. I actually pay attention to movies when I’m watching them and I feel less scatterbrained throughout my day.

The device and the apps on it are designed to be addicting and drain your personal power. While I’m not saying you have to go off the deep end and delete social media altogether, be mindful of how much time you spend on your phone.

You may just find that your life outside the confines of the screen is full of more peace than anything that a phone has to offer you.

8. Practice mindfulness daily

Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can be a game-changer for protecting your peace. Mindfulness is all about living in the present moment and acknowledging your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

It’s like giving your mind a mini-vacation from the constant buzz of daily life. Start by setting aside a few minutes each day for mindfulness exercises. This could be as simple as focusing on your breath, engaging in a short meditation session, or practicing mindful eating. The key is to be fully present in the moment, letting go of past regrets and future worries.

But how do you make mindfulness a habit? Try linking it to an existing routine. For instance, practice a minute of mindful breathing every morning after brushing your teeth. Or, take a mindful walk, where you focus on the sensations of your steps and the environment around you.

Remember, mindfulness isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. Over time, you’ll find that these moments of mindfulness can significantly reduce stress and enhance your overall sense of peace.

9. Connect with nature

Never underestimate the power of nature in restoring peace and balance in your life. Nature has a unique way of putting our human experiences into perspective, reminding us of the beauty and rhythm of the natural world.

Make it a point to spend time outdoors regularly, whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the woods, or simply sitting in your garden. The fresh air, the sound of birds, the rustle of leaves – all these elements work together to calm the mind and soothe the soul.

To integrate nature into your life, start small. It could be as simple as having your morning coffee outside or taking your lunch break in a nearby park. If you’re feeling adventurous, plan weekend hikes or nature walks. You can also bring nature to you by creating a small garden or keeping houseplants.

These small, consistent interactions with nature can significantly contribute to maintaining a peaceful state of mind, helping you stay grounded and connected to the world around you.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

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Wrapping up

Protecting your peace is not for the faint of heart. While it may not require Jackie Chan-level fighting skills, it does require a mental toughness that takes intentional practice. With the tips from this article, you can prioritize your inner peace and discover a life free of the stress that burdens much of our society.

What’s your favorite tip? How do you manage to protect the peace in your life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 9 Practical Tips to Always Protect Your Peace (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Learning to be more sympathetic towards others can make all the difference when it comes to your relationships and helps promote your own emotional awareness. When you lack sympathy, you tend to cultivate a selfish viewpoint that leads to social isolation and a lack of meaningful relationships.

This article will teach you steps you can take to relate to others on a deeper level and develop genuine sympathy for everyone you meet.

What is sympathy?

Sympathy is a word we hear thrown around all the time, but what does it mean? Turns out it’s so much more than the title of a cool song from the Goo Goo Dolls.

To put it simply, sympathy is the ability to feel and relate to another person’s emotions. This sense of relatedness is thought to help the person who is in distress to feel a bit better and feel supported.

Interestingly, research indicates that females are generally better at exhibiting sympathy relative to males. The same study also found that young people are generally more responsive to another’s distress than an older person might be.

Speaking from my personal experience, I think we all could use a lesson on how to be more sympathetic, regardless of our age or gender. I tend to rush around each day wrapped up in my to-do list and my own problems.

But every time I take a moment to be sympathetic to the needs of others, I’m pulled out of my own bubble. And being sympathetic reminds me that through connection to others we all find deeper meaning in our own existence.

And you have to admit, nothing makes you feel quite as wonderful inside as helping out someone else.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

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Benefits of being sympathetic

While being sympathetic towards others generally sounds like the kind and altruistic thing to do, it also has some science-backed benefits for you.

A study in 2016 found that being more sympathetic can enhance your creativity when it comes to problem-solving. By relating to others, you are able to open your mind to new ways of seeing things which in turn improves your overall creativity.

Beyond just improving your creativity, research has also found that in cultures where individuals are more sympathetic the population is generally happier and healthier.

As someone who could always use a bit more creativity and definitely strives to be happy, I think it’s clear that improving my overall sympathy towards others is a good idea.

On a personal level, I know that when I’m sympathetic toward my loved ones it strengthens the relationship.

It wasn’t until my best friend went through a particularly rough situation that we became close. Sympathizing with her during that time created a connection that I don’t think could have been formed otherwise.

Needless to say, being sympathetic may be a key part of finding your own happiness and contributing to society as a whole.

7 ways to be more sympathetic

Let’s dive into tips you can take to help take your sympathy up a notch and deepen your connection to those around you.

1. Practice active listening

I think we all like to think we’re great listeners. But if you think about your last conversation, how many times did you interrupt the other person?

I find we tend to interrupt individuals even more when they’re describing a problem or hard time they’re going through. It’s like we want to step in and “fix it” for them.

The problem with this is by interrupting or not listening well, the person feels like you’re not being understanding of their emotions and needs.

Oh boy, do I have a prime example of this one. Just the other day my husband asked me how my day was at work. It had been a tough day and I began to describe why I was feeling that way.

He interrupted me while I was about two seconds into my description with his thoughts. All this did was irritate me. At that point, I no longer wanted to share how I was feeling and I just wanted to get away from him.

Active listening opens the door to a sympathetic response. If you’re not giving the person time and space to communicate, then you’re not on track for connecting to what they’re feeling.

Here are more tips on how to be a better listener.

2. Pay attention to others’ emotions

A great way to improve your overall sympathy for others is to become aware of how others are feeling in the first place.

Even when people are not verbally communicating their feelings, you can glean a lot from their body language.

Now I am by no means an observant person who gets this right all the time. In fact, most of the time I’m rushing so quickly from one thing to the next that I forget to look at the world around me.

However, in this instance, I noticed at work that one of the assistive personnel was sitting slouched over and could barely keep her eyes open. It was pretty clear something wasn’t quite right.

I simply went up and asked her how she was doing. That opened the door to her telling me about some familial stress that was going on in her life.

By being aware of her emotions, I was able to show sympathy and this has helped foster our workplace relationship.

Become aware of both verbal and nonverbal communication that communicates emotional well-being. This simple tip alone can help you be more sympathetic in all areas of your life.

3. Flip your perspective upside down

Sometimes you have to be willing to change your perspective to be better at sympathizing with those around you.

This tip is super useful for moments when you may find it hard to sympathize with someone. However, it’s important to remember that the person is in need of sympathy because they are generally feeling hurt.

I was having a conversation with a friend about how he couldn’t find a job the other day. A big piece of me wanted to say I thought it was ridiculous that he was having a hard time because there are so many physical therapist positions available.

Instead of saying the first thing that came to my mind, I listened to him and tried to put myself in his shoes for a bit. I remembered that he has two young kids and needs specific hours because of daycare for his kids.

I also remembered that he has significant debt in the form of student loans, car payments, house payments, and so on and so forth.

When I took into consideration all these factors, it became apparent he couldn’t just accept any old PT job out there. He needed one that fit his needs.

This shift in perspective helped me be more sympathetic towards his struggle of finding a job and helped prevent me from looking like an ignorant jerk in the process.

4. Don’t try to be a problem solver

This tip is a bit on the tricky side. It’s important to remember when someone is telling you about their issues they are not necessarily seeking your advice in relation to a solution.

If the person is actively soliciting your advice, then by all means feel free to give it.

But when you automatically assume the role of “problem solver” when someone is describing their feelings, you lose your ability to sympathize with them.

In many cases, the person just wants to communicate their feelings and to be understood in return.

And when you take on the role of “problem solver”, you can inadvertently come off as insensitive.

Just let yourself be with the other person while they communicate their needs and feel their feelings. It’s bound to be more therapeutic for both of you.

5. Ask questions

One of the easiest ways to demonstrate more sympathy is to get curious. Ask questions about the person’s situation or feelings.

By asking questions, you are demonstrating that you’re interested in their situation and want to understand it fully. This inherently helps you connect with the other person.

Remember my friend who was having a hard time finding a job? When I was having a conversation with him, I started to ask him a bunch of questions about why he felt the way he did.

That’s when he went deep into all the contributing factors to his situation. I also asked him what he thought potential solutions would be.

Throwing that question back at him made him realize that I wasn’t coming off as though I had the answer to his problems. Instead, it helped me understand where his headspace was in the process of finding a job and we both were able to better understand what he needed.

If you find yourself struggling to sympathize with someone, start asking more questions. Oftentimes you’re just a few questions away from being able to relate to someone on a whole new level.

6. Deepen your understanding with emotional journaling

While sympathy is about recognizing another’s emotions, delving into your own feelings can enhance your ability to connect.

By understanding your emotions, you can better relate to what others are going through. One effective way to achieve this is through emotional journaling. By documenting your daily feelings and experiences, you not only become more self-aware but also develop a richer emotional vocabulary to resonate with others.

Dedicate a few minutes each evening to write in an emotion-focused journal. Describe an event from your day and the feelings it evoked. Over time, this practice will fine-tune your emotional radar, making you more attuned to the feelings of others.

7. Practice the art of reflective listening

True connection goes beyond just hearing words; it’s about understanding the emotions behind them. Reflective listening is a technique where you mirror back what someone has shared, ensuring you’ve grasped their feelings accurately.

For instance, if a friend talks about a stressful day, you might respond, “It seems like today was quite overwhelming for you. Did I get that right?” This approach not only confirms your understanding but also provides an avenue for deeper exploration of their emotions.

Next time you’re in a conversation, try the “mirror and confirm” technique. After listening, mirror back a brief summary of what you’ve understood and seek confirmation. This simple practice can lead to richer, more empathetic conversations.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

At the end of the day, we could all use a bit of extra sympathy when it comes to how we interact with our fellow man. The tips from this article will help you form and develop meaningful connections in all areas of your life by sharpening your sympathy skills. You may just find that all it takes is a bit of sympathy to help pick someone back up after life has kicked them down.

Do you find it hard to be more sympathetic? What has helped you become more sympathetic? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 7 Tips to Be More Sympathetic (and Why It’s Important!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

When you learn to motivate yourself, you’re able to push past self-proclaimed limitations and build grit. And you start to realize that you can’t always rely on external sources to motivate your actions. 

This article is going to teach you how to motivate yourself when you feel stuck or in a slump. By the end, you should feel ready to go out and crush your goals.

Why is it hard to feel motivated?

Have you ever really stopped to ask yourself why you’re not motivated? Sometimes this can be a hard question to answer. Other times the answer is clear.

Research shows that sometimes we’re not motivated because our personal evaluation of the cons outweighs the potential benefits of a positive behavior change.

I come face to face with a lack of motivation for healthy behaviors almost every night after dinner. I have a sweet tooth and I love a good dessert.

Now I know that dessert is not good for my health. And I understand that the processed sugars may even increase inflammation related to my nagging injuries. 

But the con of not being able to get that dopamine kick from dessert makes me feel unmotivated to change.

Your lack of motivation may be for something more serious than my dessert cravings. But the concept remains the same. We don’t want to change or get the process started because it may be painful.

But sometimes we need to remember that temporary pain or discomfort is a small price to pay for self-growth.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Why is motivation so important?

But why do we need to be motivated in the first place? Isn’t it okay if we just stay the same? I think the research answers these questions better than I can.

One study found that graduate students who were more motivated and self-determined were more successful in their graduate programs.

Another study found that individuals who had high levels of motivation and determination were more likely to sustain weight loss long-term.

The trend in these studies indicates that people who are motivated are more likely to succeed. And ultimately, we all desire some form of success in our lives to be happy. 

So you’re more than welcome to just coast through life. But you might miss out on accomplishing your big goals. And you may never truly understand what you’re capable of if you don’t push yourself.

7 ways to motivate yourself

Now that I’ve got you riled up and ready to chase your goals, let’s talk about how to light your own motivation on fire. 

1. Figure out what’s really blocking you first

In order to learn how to motivate yourself, you need to figure out why you don’t feel motivated.

I remember about a year ago I was really unmotivated to continue taking educational courses for my career. I was already overwhelmed with my patient care schedule and felt like I had no free time.

It wasn’t until one of my co-workers suggested that I needed to reduce my caseload that it hit me.

My lack of time management and stress from work resulted in a lack of motivation to be a better healthcare provider.

Once I cut back on my schedule and prioritized my well-being, I found my motivation again.

Maybe it’s your busy schedule that’s causing a lack of motivation. Or maybe it’s that you don’t have the desire to be pursuing that goal, so you need to pick a new one.

Dive deep and figure out why you’re not motivated before trying to light the motivation fire again.

2. Write out exactly why you’re doing it

After you’ve figured out what’s standing in the way of your motivation, define why you’re pursuing a certain goal.

You need to write this out clearly. It’s essential that you communicate to yourself why you’re doing it.

Because if you don’t know why you’re doing it, the motivation will quickly fade.

I am going to run an ultramarathon in a couple of months. There are many days when I do not feel like running all the extra miles.

But I come back to my statement about why I’m running this race. 

I’m doing it to convince myself that I can do hard things. And I want to prove that I am capable of so much more than I think I am.

I am someone who is great at inventing self-limiting beliefs due to fear and doubt in myself. Running an ultramarathon is a big and scary goal that I normally would avoid out of fear.

But I have my “why” set as my phone background. It’s a statement I wrote that says, “You can do hard things. You are running an ultra to break through your limitations.”

Once you know your “why”, it will be easier for you to find motivation again when things are tough.

3. Put your goals in front of your face daily

Not only do you need to know why you’re doing something, but you also need to remind yourself daily.

My phone background is one way that I’m doing this with my ultramarathon. But you don’t have to use your phone background.

I’ve also set my desktop screen on my work computer to be a visual that reminds me of my goals.

Or I’ve even gone as far as taping a picture or goal to my mirror or nightstand. Because I know I’ll come in contact with these reminders daily.

As human beings, we are quick to forget. This is why you need to find a simple way to remind yourself of your “why”. 

Because the more you remind yourself, the easier it is to get back after it again…and again.

4. Get involved in a group to keep you accountable

If you know you are likely to fall back into the trap of poor motivation, find a reliable group to keep you accountable.

There are so many groups out there when it comes to any goal or aspiration you may have. 

There are walking groups or groups who get together to learn new languages. There are groups who study various religious texts together or who get together to play music in a band.

Plug into your community for accountability. And sometimes you just need to plug into your own friend group to keep your motivation high.

I am particularly fond of relying on those closest to me. This is in part why I’m selective with my friend group because I know their motivations will rub off on me.

This isn’t to say that you should always rely on others for motivation. Because ultimately, only you are accountable for your own actions.

But this is simply one trick that can come in handy when your motivation is particularly low. 

5. Use the 2-minute rule

If all else fails when motivating yourself, use the 2-minute rule. The 2-minute rule says you only have to do something for 2 minutes.

For example, on days when I don’t want to run, I tell myself I only have to do it for 2 minutes. By the end of those 2 minutes, I’ve overcome the activation energy of the task and feel motivated.

If you don’t feel motivated to clean your house or work on that project, try the 2-minute rule. I almost guarantee by the end of 2 minutes you will have found some motivation.

It’s usually the initiation energy that keeps us from starting a task. Once you’ve overcome that, it’s easier to stay motivated and get going.

So keep the 2-minute rule in your back pocket next time you’re feeling super unmotivated. It may only take 2 minutes to find your motivation again.

6. Embrace the power of visualization

Imagine the feeling of achieving your goals, the joy, the excitement, and the sense of accomplishment that washes over you. Visualization isn’t just a feel-good activity; it’s a technique that can genuinely fuel your motivation and guide your actions towards your desired outcome.

Begin by dedicating a few moments each day to visualize your success in vivid detail. Picture the environment, the people around you, and the emotions coursing through you upon reaching your goal. This mental rehearsal not only boosts your motivation but also enhances your focus and determination to make that vision a reality.

7. Celebrate every step forward

Journeying towards your goal is not just about the destination but also appreciating every step you take towards it. Establishing a reward system for smaller milestones can infuse your journey with joy and keep the flame of motivation burning brightly.

Whether it’s a challenging project or a personal goal, acknowledging and celebrating every small victory ensures that your journey is enjoyable and your spirit remains uplifted. It’s not just the big wins but these little moments of joy that pave the way to persistent effort and eventual success.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Motivation is not genetic and it’s not always found at the bottom of a coffee cup. You have to actively work at keeping yourself motivated. Using the tips from this article, you can spark your motivation to achieve the goals that matter most to you. With a bit of persistence, it will become easier to motivate yourself to go out and smash that next big goal.

Do you find it hard to motivate yourself? What’s your favorite tip to motivate yourself to keep working towards your goals? I’d love to know in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 7 Ways to Motivate Yourself and Find The Energy You Need appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Learning to connect with yourself helps you better understand what makes you tick so that you can tap into all the potential life has to offer. And when you start to value your relationship with yourself, all of your other relationships start to flourish.

This article will help you start investing in the only relationship that is guaranteed to last your entire life span. So let’s dive in to learn steps you can take to better connect with yourself starting now.

Why connection with yourself is valuable

If you’re anything like me, sometimes you avoid spending alone time with yourself because you’re afraid of what you might discover.

I find it easier to distract myself with the chaos of life instead of doing the deep work of getting to know who I am.

But I know that when I saddle up and do the deep work, I feel present in my life. And I feel that spark for life again because I feel more connected to my ambitions and aspirations.

Research shows that individuals who develop a sense of self-connection experience greater well-being. This sense of self-connection can be improved through the practice of mindfulness.

It’s funny how we go chasing peace and satisfaction from so many external sources when we can find what we seek inside of us.

Why do we avoid self-connection

It’s easy in today’s world to avoid self-connection. With Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, and that text message from your bestie all vying for your attention 24/7 it’s easier to just ignore yourself and your feelings.

A study from 2020 discovered that people reported both internal and external factors as barriers to connecting to themselves. This meant that things like feeling a sense of negative self-judgment as well as just basic time-related restrictions stopped people from spending time getting to know themselves.

As I mentioned earlier, I know I personally struggle with a fear of what I will uncover when I get to know myself. But through working with a life coach, I have come to realize that my strength lies in facing those fears and getting to know the parts of me that I may have tried to hide.

And through addressing those aspects of myself with connection, I have been better able to heal and ease so many of the anxieties that have plagued me for decades.

I can personally attest that getting to know yourself is worth any discomfort you may have to face in the process.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

7 ways to connect with yourself

It’s time to re-introduce yourself to the person who is guaranteed to never leave your side: you! These seven steps will help you connect with yourself on a deeper level that’s sure to leave you feeling refreshed and grounded.

1. Go back to your childhood aspirations

Kids have this amazing superpower of not overthinking who they are or what they want. They just have this innate knowledge and don’t doubt that anything is possible for them.

As time goes on, it seems we lose touch with this superpower a bit. But I think re-channeling your inner childhood desires can be a great way to reconnect with who you really are.

I remember as a kid I loved to create art of all kinds. Whether it was coloring or finger painting, I loved it all. But as I grew up, I became cognizant that my art was not exactly of Picasso’s quality.

So I stopped creating. But recently I have decided to reconnect to this childhood desire to simply create for the sake of creating.

I’ve begun to learn to crochet and paint pots. And I have to say, I feel that sense of fun playfulness that stems from tapping into my creative side again.

Go back and really think about what lit you up as a child and you may just discover a part of you that has been lost along your adulthood journey.

2. Prioritize quiet time

It seems that everyone recommends quiet time these days. And trust me, there is a reason why.

Our world is so loud and full of constant distractions. It’s no wonder we don’t know who we are when we are constantly bombarded with outside sources trying to give us their opinion about ourselves.

Taking a chunk of time each day to just be with yourself is one of the easiest and yet most powerful ways to reconnect with yourself.

I have developed a habit of spending 5 minutes every morning just sitting on my porch. I aspire to do this for longer, but 5 minutes consistently has been a good start for me.

In these 5 minutes, I become aware of what I’m feeling and I reconnect to my sense of purpose in this world. It helps me ground myself in who I am and align my actions with that purpose.

It doesn’t have to take long. Maybe you just start with 2 minutes. Maybe your eyes are open, maybe they are closed.

The details don’t matter. Just get quiet and you will find yourself again.

3. Don’t ignore your feelings

Do you remember the last time you actually paid attention to your feelings? If you’re anything like me, you’re great at shoving them away and moving on to the next thing on your to-do list.

Your feelings are there for a reason. No matter what the feeling is, positive or negative, it’s there to tell you something about yourself.

I used to try to shove away my sadness because I thought it was better to see the sunny side of things. And while I do still think it’s important not to drown in negativity, I’ve also come to realize that even my sadness is a message to me about what I value.

It’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to be excited. Emotions are neither good nor bad, but rather cues to you about what actions you need to take to be aligned with the best version of yourself.

Now I look at my feelings as messages to me about what I personally find important and what I may or may not need to change in my life.

By actually embracing my emotions, I also feel more in tune with my personal needs and through that, I have found a much deeper sense of satisfaction in my life.   

4. Trust your gut

Do you know that little voice inside of you that says “do this not that”? Turns out that voice can give you a lot of insight about yourself.

Learning to listen to your instinctive reactions and trust them is such a meaningful way to connect with yourself. Your gut is your subconscious way of expressing yourself and eliminates the hyper-focused overthinking side of our brains that we tend to put on overdrive.

I remember in particular when I was in college there was this cute guy who asked me out on a date. Right after he asked me I remember my gut said “Don’t go”. So as any reasonable college girl does, I ignored my gut in favor of having some great eye candy.

It became apparent very quickly that this guy was not at all interested in what I had to say or in making conversation. My gut knew that this wasn’t the type of person I wanted to date and if I would have listened to it I would have saved myself hours of being treated like trash by a man who didn’t respect women.

Whether it be your gut telling you to quit your job or go on that big international trip you’ve been daydreaming about, it’s time to listen to it. Because underneath what seems like a simple gut reaction lies a better understanding of what you want at your core.

5. Take yourself on a date

I used to feel self-conscious or embarrassed at the idea of being seen in a movie theater or at a restaurant alone. But I learned from my best friend that self-dates are actually some of the most restorative dates you can go on.

Once a month, I take myself out on a date where I get to do whatever it is that I want to do. I find by forcing myself to spend designated time alone I come to learn exactly what it is that gives me joy and I am able to reflect on how my life is going.

It’s actually become a date that I really look forward to because I know that I’m in total control of what I get to do and I always feel refreshed by the end of my self-date.

And I do have to say, it’s really fun to go on a date where you don’t spend twenty minutes arguing with someone about where to eat.

6. Journal for self-reflection

Think back to a time when you felt overwhelmed with emotions, and all you wished for was a listening ear. What if that listener could be you?

Journaling offers a unique opportunity to be both the speaker and the listener. By pouring your thoughts onto paper, you’re not just venting; you’re creating a tangible record of your journey.

Over time, as you flip through the pages, you’ll see patterns, growth, and even solutions that might have eluded you in the heat of the moment.

Begin your journaling journey with simple prompts. Start with questions like “How did today make me feel?” or “What’s one thing I learned about myself today?”.

As you get into the rhythm, challenge yourself with deeper introspective questions. And remember, there’s no right or wrong here; it’s all about understanding and connecting with your inner self.

7. Embark on a digital detox

In an era where our phones buzz more frequently than we blink, finding a quiet moment can seem impossible. But imagine a space where you’re free from the constant pings, notifications, and the urge to scroll mindlessly.

That’s what a digital detox offers—a brief respite from the digital chaos, allowing you to tune into the most important channel: yourself. Without the digital noise, you’ll find it easier to hear your thoughts, feel your emotions, and truly be present.

Dedicate specific “no-screen” hours or even an entire day each week. During this period, immerse yourself in activities that rejuvenate you.

Maybe it’s a walk in the park, a session of meditation, or simply lounging with a good book. The goal is to disconnect from the digital and reconnect with yourself.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

You devote hours of your time and energy to connecting with those you love the most. It’s only fair that you give yourself the same tender loving care by nourishing a connection with yourself by using the tips from this article. And I promise you that investing in getting to know yourself is never a decision you will regret.

What’s your favorite way to connect with yourself? Please share it with the rest of us in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 7 Ways to Connect with Yourself on a Deeper Level appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Living life in a constant state of hurry is a recipe for burnout and dissatisfaction. The antidote to a life of rushing is to learn the art of slow and intentional living. But how do you actually do this and stop rushing through life?

If you’re ready to trade in a rushed mentality for a life where you can stop to smell the roses, then this article is for you. We will detail realistic steps you can take to slow down and enjoy your life.

Why we live in a rushed society

I used to think that I was the only one who felt this constant pressure to rush around in life. I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn’t slow down.

Turns out that a research study found that 26% of women and 21% of men report feeling rushed. If you feel rushed all the time, clearly you are not alone.

Why is it that we feel so rushed? I’m afraid the answer isn’t so simple.

But I have certainly noticed in recent years that we are a culture that glorifies “the hustle”. The more productive you are in our society, the more praise you tend to receive.

This creates a feedback loop where we keep rushing to get more done. As a result, I think most of us have forgotten what it means to be present.

Effects of living rushed

Rushing around incessantly has become so commonplace that it’s now a condition called “hurry sickness”. It’s when you cannot stop hurrying in life no matter what.

This type of “sickness” may sound benign. But researchers have discovered that individuals who are constantly living with a sense of urgency are at a higher risk for developing hypertension.

The effects of rushing around go beyond just your physical health though. They can impact how you interact with the world around you.

Research revealed that individuals who were hurrying were less likely to stop and help a victim. This totally shocked me!

By rushing around, we might develop into more self-absorbed individuals. That information alone is enough to make me want to slow down.

Slowing down may be the most beneficial thing you can do for both your personal character and your physical well-being.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

7 ways to stop rushing in life

You can start to cure your “hurry-sickness” by incorporating these 5 actionable tips today.

1. Prepare the night before

There are times in life when I realize I am rushing around because I did not adequately prepare.

The simplest way I’ve found to combat this is to make a physical to-do list the night before a busy day. By making a to-do list, I can mentally prepare myself for the tasks ahead.

Sometimes I go so far as to visualize myself doing the tasks calmly and succeeding before I go to sleep.

I also make sure that my mornings are not rushed. I proactively have my coffee grounds ready to go and my work clothes laid out. These simple steps help shave off mental stress from my morning.

If you know you have a big task ahead of you or need to coordinate your schedule, take the time the night before. This will help you sleep better that night, too!

2. Plan mini-breaks

If you feel like you can’t stop to breathe during your day, you need to build in what I call “mini-breaks”.

For me, this looks like taking two minutes between my patients to just sit and do deep breathing. Other times, it looks like planning a 5-10 minute walk in the middle of my workday.

If you know you’re not likely to take a break, use tip number one and put mini breaks on your to-do list.

It may sound like it would be counterproductive, but taking breaks allows you to be more productive and fight the rush.

Be sure to sprinkle your own personal flavor of joy into your breaks to help you fight the burnout caused by hurry.

3. Get rid of the “extras”

Rushing can also be the result of doing too many things all the time. It’s logical, yet so many of us say “yes” to too many things.

When I find myself rushing so much that I can’t think straight anymore, I know it’s time to start saying “no”.

A few months ago, I felt like my cup was spilling over between work and my social life. I was so rushed that I felt like there was never enough time.

After my husband told me I had to take a chill pill, I started to say no. I said no to taking on extra work. I said no to social events on nights when I was tired.

By getting rid of the extra, I granted myself time to fill my cup back up. When I had a semblance of balance back, I didn’t feel that sense of constant urgency that was burning me out.

It’s okay to cut out the extras in your life so that you can abandon the constant feeling of being rushed.

4. Give yourself reminders

I am someone who naturally runs with all cylinders on. It’s not natural for me to move slowly with anything in life.

Because I am acutely aware of my nature, I know I need consistent reminders to stop rushing. I set reminders on my phone for every few hours that say “slow down” and “be where your feet are”.

It may sound silly, but having this physical reminder cues me to not get lost in the chaos of the day.

Your reminder doesn’t have to be on your phone. Maybe it’s hanging a sign on your desk. Or maybe you get a trendy sticker reminder for your water bottle.

Whatever it is, just make sure that you interact with it daily. Reminding yourself to slow down is what will make it become a habit.

5. Ground yourself with your surroundings

One of my favorite new practices for fighting my inherent need to hustle 24/7 is grounding.

Grounding is where you go barefoot in nature. You intentionally spend time feeling your feet connect to the earth.

Yes, I am aware this may sound like the most hippy-dippy thing ever. But don’t knock it until you try it.

Every time I take my shoes off and just feel the earth below me, I naturally slow down. It’s a mindfulness practice that I swear by for helping me be present.

If you can’t seem to find your rhythm in your day, take off your shoes outside. It only takes a minute, but it’s one minute that can completely ward off the hurry sickness.

6. Practice meditation

In the midst of our hectic lives, it’s easy to lose sight of the present moment. We often find ourselves either ruminating about the past or worrying about the future.

This is where the practice of meditation comes into play. It’s a simple yet effective way to anchor ourselves in the now, appreciating life as it unfolds, moment by moment. You don’t need to be a seasoned meditator to start; even just a few minutes each day can make a significant difference.

To integrate this practice into your daily routine, start by finding a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed. Sit comfortably and focus on your breath, noticing the sensation of air as it enters and leaves your nostrils. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your focus back to your breath. You might also explore guided meditations available on various apps and websites to help you get started.

Remember, the goal is not to eliminate thoughts but to learn to observe them without judgment. As you cultivate this habit, you’ll find yourself becoming more centered and less caught up in the daily rush.

7. Develop a gratitude journal

Developing a gratitude journal is a beautiful practice that encourages us to slow down and acknowledge the goodness that surrounds us. It’s a small step that fosters positivity and a greater appreciation for life, steering us away from the perpetual race against time.

To begin this nurturing practice, set aside a few minutes each day to jot down things you are grateful for. It could be as simple as a warm cup of coffee in the morning or a kind gesture from a stranger.

Make it a ritual, perhaps at the start or end of your day, to reflect on these moments of joy and gratitude. You’ll soon notice a shift in your perspective, where you start valuing the present more than constantly chasing the future.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Your days do not have to be spent living with your foot on the gas pedal 24/7. Use the steps from this article to put on your brakes. Because when you put on the brakes, you just may find that you enjoy the life that surrounds you that much more.

Would you say you lived a rushed life right now? What’s your favorite tip to stop rushing through life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 7 Tips to Stop Rushing Through Life (And Take Things Slow) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Sensitivity is a necessary human trait, but being overly sensitive and letting it dictate your emotions is a choice. Developing a healthy relationship with sensitivity will help you tactfully navigate all of your relationships in life and help you to stop taking everything so personally.

This article is here to give you tips to be able to ditch the hyperreactive teenager that lives inside all of us. I’ll help you to work on mature emotional responses that don’t leave you spiraling into a pit of irritation or self-loathing.

Why being sensitive isn’t always a bad thing

As someone who has accused many male counterparts of lacking sensitivity, I think it’s important to know that being sensitive itself is not typically the problem.

In fact, research shows that people who are highly sensitive tend to have greater emotional awareness and empathy in their romantic relationships.

A study in 2014 further validated this finding by demonstrating that the areas of the brain involved in empathy and awareness experienced greater activation when looking at pictures of people who were happy and sad. The study authors found that being sensitive is linked to higher awareness and responsiveness.

I don’t know about you, but having a friend or significant other who has better emotional awareness and empathy sounds pretty heavenly to me. But as helpful as these traits of sensitive individuals are in a relationship, they can also become a barrier to healthy relationships when not addressed.

Why is it important to not be overly sensitive?

There are times when being hyper-aware of another person’s emotions can actually be detrimental. A good example for me personally was when my boss would come to work in a super irritated mood.

After only interacting with my boss for five minutes, I could feel a flood of irritation building inside of me for no good reason at all. And while my boss’ mood probably had nothing to do with me, I would end up spending half of my morning retracing my every action to figure out what I had done wrong.

Absorbing someone else’s emotions and being so sensitive to how they interact with you can lead you down that rabbit hole of negativity. Even when you should know that this person’s bad mood has nothing to do with you.

The reality is people are going to have bad days and interact poorly with you. And people are going to reject you, disagree with you, and sometimes just be downright rude. But being highly sensitive to those reactions and not just taking them at face value sets you up for a less-than-bright trajectory.

A study in 2017 found that men who were more sensitive to rejection were more likely to develop depression. If you allow how others interact and treat you to heavily influence your emotions, you will find it hard to be happy consistently over time.

This is why striking the right balance of being sensitive, but not overly sensitive is crucial for your overall personal happiness in life.

This is also what we wrote about in our article on how to be emotionally stable.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 ways to stop being overly sensitive

If you’re tired of pulling out the tissues every time something goes wrong in life, then I’ve got you covered. These 5 tips will help you develop healthy emotional boundaries and balance the sensitivity scale to work in your favor.

1. Take a breath

Do you remember the last time someone said something to you that really struck a chord and not in a good way? I sure do.

Just the other day one of my patients said something right to my face that I found highly offensive. Now my instinct would be to give this person a piece of my mind and tell them they hurt my feelings.

But as an adult who has had to learn the art of interacting with people in the service industry, I have learned the power of my own breath. So at that moment, I took 3 breaths before I responded.

And instead of reacting swiftly, I was able to realize that the patient probably meant nothing by it and that reacting harshly would not make either party feel any better. So I was able to do something I haven’t been able to do easily for years – let it go.

When someone says or does something that hurts your feelings or upsets you, you can create space for yourself to actually process your emotions by simply taking a few breaths. It almost sounds too good to be true, but simply focusing on your breathing can help you defeat your instinctual sensitive reaction and instead react from a place of reason.

2. Reflect on where your sensitivity is stemming from

Sometimes we’re sensitive because we’re not addressing a deep-rooted personal issue.

I had this boyfriend in high school who called me five-head. You can imagine how that made me feel. Obviously, it’s not a kind thing to say.

Now if I had a good sense of confidence and wasn’t insecure about my physical appearance, these words probably would have bounced off without a second thought. But instead, I hyperfocused on these words and even got bangs to try to hide my forehead.

The real problem wasn’t what he said to me, even though it wasn’t nice. The problem was my reaction was stemming from a place of low self-esteem and that’s what needed my attention.

Through developing confidence in myself, I now confidently rock a headband with my five-head beaming for all the world to see.

When someone hurts your feelings, take the time to figure out why because the root of the issue may have nothing to do with their words or actions themselves.

3. Realize the world doesn’t revolve around you

It’s true. The world does not revolve around you. I’m sorry if I’m the first person who has to declare this truth to you.

The more you embrace that human beings are messy creatures who make mistakes over and over again, the more okay you will feel when someone makes mistakes or offends you. Because all of us are dealing with our own little joys and demons day in and day out that heavily influence our emotions and behaviors.

More likely than not, when a person yells at you or behaves in a way that leaves you feeling inferior, it probably is not actually related to you at all.

I used to be able to tell when my boyfriend in college was having a bad day because when we would go to study he just didn’t want to talk. So of course I reacted by being moody back at him instead of realizing that his behavior wasn’t actually directed at me and he just needed time and space to process his day.

Realizing that you are not the center of the universe is a freeing fact that then allows you to give others grace and stop assuming that all of their behavior is directly tied to you.

4. Discuss your feelings with a loved one

If someone has deeply hurt your feelings and you can’t seem to let it go, you may benefit from opening up about it with a loved one. Now let me make it clear, I am not saying you should gossip with your friends about what a terrible person they are because they did x, y, or z.

What I’m saying is discussing the situation and your feelings may either help you release your pent-up frustration or give you an outside perspective that helps you realize your sensitivity is totally unwarranted.

5. Remember your personal power

Being overly sensitive can be really draining. You end up living every day with your emotional wellness at the disposal of everyone around you.

At any moment, you have the power to change what you are feeling. It doesn’t matter how terribly someone has treated you. You can choose to be at peace and recognize your own personal worth.

Now I know better than anyone that this is easier said than done. But as someone who has had her fair share of bosses tell her that she has room for improvement and has heard comments about her physique from various men throughout her life, I’ve learned that you don’t have to let everyone else’s feedback and opinions influence how you feel.

You are valuable. You are good enough. Your feelings are valid, but recognize when they are out of proportion and ruining what could be a perfectly good day.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Being sensitive is a good thing. But this is an instance where having too much of a good thing quickly escalates into a bad thing. By using the tips from this article, you can avoid balling your eyes out and smearing your mascara when someone in your life mildly disagrees with you or hurts your feelings. Learning to strike the right balance of sensitivity will help you reclaim your personal power in a way that grants you lasting peace and frees up energy for the things that really matter.

Have you ever been told that you are overly sensitive? What’s your favorite tip from this article? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 5 Tips to Stop Being Overly Sensitive (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.