No matter how much time or energy you spend worrying over someone else’s suffering, it does nothing to reduce the pain they experience. All you’re doing is causing yourself to needlessly suffer along with them. So why does it feel impossible to stop even when you know worrying about others solves nothing? It turns out humans are wired to worry. However, this doesn’t mean we can’t control the extent and frequency of our worries. 

Although worrying is inherently human, we can still take steps to mitigate its negative impact on our lives. In this article, I’ll explore why some of us simply can’t help but worry about others, and strategies to help you manage this well-intentioned but ultimately self-harming tendency.

Why we naturally worry about others 

Everyone worries, but some people worry significantly more than others. Along with worrying about their own life, they can’t resist the tendency to worry about other people as well. It appears this natural inclination to worry might just be human nature. 

It’s possible that humans have a predisposition to worry as a species due to a mismatch in our environment. Our brains are designed for an environment in which our actions result in immediate outcomes. Now that we live in an environment where our actions do not produce instant results, our brains can’t help but worry about uncertainty. 

Conversely, a study found that people worry for two possible reasons. The first is because they believe that worrying can prevent negative events from happening and minimize its harmful effects if it does happen. The second reason is the belief that worrying offers greater control and the ability to find a solution. 

Humans are social beings by nature. It only makes sense that we naturally extend our tendency to worry to encompass others. However, our ability to deeply connect with other humans emotionally and share their painful emotions could result in harmful consequences for our health. 

Why worrying about other people’s problems is futile

The most frustrating thing about worrying is that it solves nothing. Most of us understand this, and yet, we continue to worry about others in spite of its harmful effects on our health.

Research shows that worrying is associated with several mental health disorders and is detrimental to your physical health.  

Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe. 

Keith Caserta

A recent study on the mental health of Swiss undergraduate students during the pandemic found that those who worry more about the health of their family and friends are more likely to experience depression and higher stress levels.

Worrying about the health of their loved ones resulted in adverse effects on the students’ mental health. Moreover, worrying about the health of their family and friends in the midst of a pandemic beyond their control will not protect them from the disease.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

How to stop worrying about others 

Most of us know that worrying about other people does nothing to solve their problems or alleviate their pain, but we just can’t help it. The good news is that while worry is not completely avoidable, you can reduce its negative effects on your well-being using a few strategies.

1. Give the worrisome thoughts space to breathe 

I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t worrying the exact opposite of what we want to do? The reality is that sometimes, worrying is an inevitable part of caring. Life is full of ups and downs. As much as we wish we could, we can’t protect the people we love from every devastating event in their lives. 

You can’t stop the rain by worrying about it.

Tadahiko Nagao

For example, if you find out your child is being bullied at school or your friend is going through a difficult divorce, it’s simply unrealistic to expect yourself to not worry about them. Instead of suppressing the worry, give it the space it needs to breathe. It’s typically better to feel the negative emotion as soon as it arises rather than to dismiss it. This only causes the emotion to fester and resurface later on. 

Sit with the worry for a few minutes, refrain from judgment, and allow it to run its course unobstructed. Simply listen to what it’s trying to tell you. If you’re lucky, the worry might dissipate afterward. If it continues to unwantedly take up mental space, it’s time to try another strategy. 

2. Imagine yourself talking to your worry

This might sound strange but try to imagine yourself having a conversation with your worrisome thoughts. After listening to what the emotion has to say, picture yourself reasoning with it.

Speak to your worry the way you would speak to a friend having a panic attack. Calm it down, and ground the emotion back to reality. Some things you can try saying to your worry when it spirals are: 

• “Worrying about them will not ease their suffering in any way.” 
• “I cannot protect that person from every bad thing in life, and it is not my responsibility to do so.” 
• “I trust that person to be strong and capable enough to overcome their own problems.” 
• “The best I can do is support them in any way I can, but worrying about them will solve nothing.”
• “It is okay to be concerned about them, but I am only causing myself harm by treating their problems as if they are my own.” 

3. Set boundaries 

Setting boundaries is an essential skill to learn in life, but particularly if you are an empath or a highly sensitive person. Those who instinctively absorb the emotions of others might find it more difficult to not worry about the problems of other people. If this is the case, it’s important to learn how to set boundaries for yourself and your mental health. 

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.

Brené Brown

It’s perfectly okay to admit to others when you lack the emotional or mental capacity to listen to them vent about their problems. There is nothing selfish about setting boundaries. It doesn’t make you any less loving or supportive. However, it can help you to stop worrying about others when you’re already worrying about your own issues.

Setting your own boundaries might even encourage the other person to do the same. 

4. Journal

One of the best ways to release the burden of worrying about others is to simply write it down. The benefits of journaling are endless, but in the case of unrelenting worries, it can be especially therapeutic. Writing it down might help alleviate your concerns about others and their struggles.

Sometimes, your worries just need a place to go. 

Journaling also helps distinguish your worries about others from your own. Since the practice of expressing your thoughts and emotions through writing often improves self-awareness, there’s a good chance it’ll help you realize the futility of worrying about someone else’s problems.  

Here are a few possible journal prompts to explore when you want to stop worrying about others: 

• Why am I overly concerned about this person and their issues? 
• Is their pain triggering a similar hurt that I currently feel or have experienced in the past and requires healing? 
• Do I believe this person is capable of handling their own problems? 
• What else can I do for this person instead of suffering along with them by worrying? 
• Do I have the mental and emotional capacity to continue providing emotional support to this person? 

5. Have a conversation with the person you’re worried about 

Talking to the person you’re deeply concerned about is probably the root cause of your worries in the first place, but it could potentially be the solution as well. In some instances, we worry about others because we’re not sure if they have the ability to cope with whatever adversity they face. In that case, a simple conversation with them might ease your worries. 

At times, all we need is reassurance that the person we’re worried about will be okay. Checking up on them and discussing the steps they’re taking to solve their own problems might put your worries to rest once and for all. Of course, this strategy only works if the person you’re worried about is handling things better than you thought. 

In the event that the person is not coping well emotionally or mentally, it might be time to ask them to consider seeking professional help. This can ensure they receive the proper support and relieve you from your worries as well.

6. Practice mindful acceptance

Mindful acceptance is a powerful tool to address worries about others. The first step involves acknowledging that you are worried and understanding that it’s a natural response to caring deeply about someone.

Recognize that while your worry stems from a place of love and concern, it may not be constructive or helpful.

The second step is to practice mindfulness. Focus on the present moment and accept your feelings without judgment. This practice doesn’t mean you agree with or like the situation, but it allows you to see it for what it is.

Mindfulness techniques, like deep breathing or meditation, can help you stay grounded and prevent your worries from escalating. By accepting your worries and practicing mindfulness, you can maintain a clearer perspective and avoid being overwhelmed by your concerns.

7. Positively distract yourself

Sometimes, the best way to manage worry is to engage in activities that distract you positively. The first step is to identify the things that make you happy. These could be hobbies, physical activities, or even simple tasks like gardening or cooking. The key is to choose something that requires enough attention to keep your mind engaged.

Next, commit to these activities regularly, especially when you find your worries escalating. By focusing your energy on something positive and productive, you can break the cycle of worrying. This doesn’t mean you’re ignoring the problem; rather, you’re giving yourself a break from constant worry.

Over time, this practice can help you develop a more balanced perspective and reduce the intensity of your worries about others.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

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Wrapping up

Worrying about others demonstrates your amazing ability to care and connect emotionally. However, the negative effect of worrying means that this capacity to absorb their worries as your own is destructive to your health. It might be difficult to manage your worries at first, but it can be done. Humans might be wired to worry, but you must not allow your worries to consume you.

Do you want to share your own positive change that you applied in your life? Did I miss an awesome tip that you used to be happier in an instance? I’d love to hear in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 7 Ways to Stop Worrying About Other People’s Problems appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Chances are, you know someone who stumbled upon their passion from a young age and pursued it persistently into adulthood until it eventually became their career. They’ve probably had their entire path figured out since they were a child. Unless you’re one of those lucky humans, finding your passion in life can be a frightening and frustrating task. If you’re struggling to discover the thing that makes you feel truly alive, you’re not alone.  

The good news is that it’s never too late to realize your passion. In this article, I’ll explore what it means to live a passionate life, why discovering what sets your soul on fire is important, and how it can be possible for you to uncover yours. 

What does it mean to discover your passion?

As humans, we naturally crave a life full of passion. We watch other people pursue their own passions, find incredible success and happiness, and naturally wish the same for ourselves. 

There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.  

Nelson Mandela

Passion is simply defined as something that makes life worth living. To discover your passion means to find a strong inclination towards a self-defining activity that you deem important. As a result, you eagerly invest your time and energy into that activity. 

In a way, finding your passion is an essential part of becoming the most authentic version of yourself. A 2015 study on Australian workers revealed that an occupation considered to be a passion is closely linked to perceptions of authentic selfhood. 

Harmonious vs. obsessive passion 

Although passion is often correlated to success and fulfillment, there are some people who suffer because of their passion.

A Canadian psychologist, Dr. Robert Vallerand, posited that there are two types of passion: harmonious and obsessive. This dualistic model results in two very different experiences, one healthy and the other harmful, in the pursuit of passion. 

Individuals with harmonious passion follow the passion of their own volition. This allows their authentic self to show up while they engage in their passion.

As a result, they are able to freely and fully immerse themselves in an activity they love without being a slave to it. People with harmonious passions experience improved well-being, greater life satisfaction, and personal growth. 

Conversely, those with obsessive passion pursue it with reckless abandon. They feel compelled to pursue their passion and lose their sense of self-control. Although chasing your passion relentlessly is a romantic notion, it can be unhealthy and consuming.

Those with obsessive passion are prone to feelings of shame and loss of self-control. A 2010 study also found that obsessive passion frequently leads to burnout. 

Therefore, it’s crucial to be mindful of your approach to discovering your passion and your relationship to your passion once you find it. 

Why is discovering your passion important? 

It turns out that being passionate about life is beneficial for your overall well-being.

A 2009 study found that individuals who harmoniously engage in an activity that they’re passionate about experience greater levels of hedonic and eudaimonic happiness. This means along with producing feelings of pleasure and enjoyment, following your passion can give you meaning and purpose. 

Finding your passion isn’t just about careers and money. It’s about finding your authentic self. The one you’ve buried beneath other people’s needs.

Kristin Hannah 

These findings are reiterated by a 2017 study that concluded that individuals who pursue their passion harmoniously and with more self-control experience an improvement in well-being. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Reasons you might be struggling to find your passion

If you’re having trouble figuring out your passion, it’s possible that your perception is hindering your quest.

Perceiving passion as something that is inherent can be extremely limiting, according to a 2018 study. The belief that passion is fixed as opposed to something that is developed can generate more reluctance to try new things and a tendency to easily give up when it becomes difficult. Therefore, it’s best to adopt the view that passion is something to be developed once you find it. 

Another possible reason why your passion is eluding could be due to a narrow focus. The same study shows that those who believe they can only be passionate about one thing are more likely to focus on a single passion. This prevents them from exploring other interests in the event that they realize that particular passion is not for them. 

In reality, you probably have multiple passions. It’s ultimately up to you to decide which passion or passions are worthy of your time and effort. 

Tips on how to discover your passion in life 

Discovering their passion is a daunting task for many people, but it doesn’t have to be for you. Here are a few tips to help you on this exciting quest for self-discovery. 

1. Try new things

Seems simple enough, right? To maximize your chances of encountering your passion, it’s a good idea to expose yourself to as many activities as possible. This means opening yourself to new experiences that may be outside of your comfort zone. 

Fortunately, there are plenty of opportunities to try various potential passions. You could sign up for a lesson online or watch a few how-to YouTube videos for free on something that sparks your interest. Another good strategy is to try the passions of your friends or partner. If they take lessons, accompany them. If they offer lessons, graciously accept them. 

Here’s another article on our blog that discusses numerous new things to try if you’re looking to spice things up.

2. Practice self-awareness 

It’s crucial to be completely honest with yourself when trying to discover your passion in life. This can save you a lot of time and effort invested in a passion that was never meant for you in the first place. 

One of the best tools for improving self-awareness is journaling. There are plenty of useful journal prompts to help you find your passion. Some possible prompts could be: 

• What’s something that comes easier to me than it does for most people? 
• What activities do I lose track of time doing?
• What’s the one thing I can do for the rest of my life and not get tired of? 

Another strategy to boost self-awareness is to take some personality tests. If you haven’t already, figure out your Myers–Briggs Type Indicator or your Enneagram of Personality. Understanding yourself a bit better might paint a clearer picture of your passion, or at the very least, point you in the right direction to search. 

3. Enlist your inner child’s help 

If you’re familiar with inner child work, you know that it’s a powerful tool for addressing any unmet needs, dysfunctional patterns, and unresolved emotions we experienced as children. However, it can also be used to uncover your true passion. 

As a child, you didn’t hold the same limiting beliefs you might possess as an adult. You were free to pursue your interests to your heart’s content. There’s a good chance you discovered your passion as a child and dismissed it as an adult for something more practical. By engaging your inner child in an honest and open conversation, you might be able to unlock some forgotten wisdom on how you can find fulfillment as an adult. 

To enlist your inner child’s help in discovering what makes you feel truly alive, try asking yourself the following questions: 

• When I was a child, what did I want to be when I grew up? 
• What was I naturally drawn to as a child?
• What are my happiest childhood memories? What was I doing in them?
• Who was my role model growing up? 
• What was my favorite subject in school? 

4. Approach conversations with curiosity

There is an exhaustible variety of passions in this world, and probably, a rich variety within your own social circle. Ask your friends and family about their passions. Engage in conversations with your co-worker to learn more about their passions and potentially find yours. 

In addition to paying attention to what others say during a conversation, observe yourself as well. Notice any topics that make you light up when it comes up in conversation. Pay heed to the subjects that you talk extensively and enthusiastically about. They might be trying to tell you something.

5. Take inventory of your skills, interests, and values 

There’s a good chance you’ve already encountered your passion. It’s just waiting for you to realize it was there all along. To figure out whether or not your passion is hiding beneath your skills, interests, and values, take inventory. 

To take inventory of your skills, consider the following questions: 

• What skills do I naturally excel at?
• Do I have any underdeveloped talents? Is there a skill I’m frequently praised for despite my lack of practice? 
• What compliments have I received in the past from teachers and employers? 

Taking inventory of your interests seems straightforward, but in addition to jotting down a list of topics that interest you, consider: 

• Looking for patterns in your book collection or your search history. What do you voluntarily spend a lot of time learning about? 
• Review your spending habits. What do you spend most of your disposable income on? 

When taking inventory of your values, consider these questions: 

• Identify moments when you were most proud of yourself. What made you proud? 
• Recognize moments when time flows in strange ways. What activities were you doing?

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Discovering your passion in life doesn’t have to be nearly as intimidating or complicated as many people make it out to be. With the right perspective and approach, it can be a rewarding journey into self-discovery. By stepping outside of your comfort zone, committing to understanding yourself better, and approaching life with curiosity, you’ll stumble upon at least one of your possibly many passions sooner than you think.

What do you think? Have you recently found your passion and want to share it with us? Or do you have an example of how your passion can develop into something different over time? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 5 Strategies to Find Your Passion in Life (With Examples!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

However, putting your happiness on hold until you achieve whatever you desire can lead to an endless cycle of dissatisfaction. There will always be another milestone to reach after you surpass your current one and the world will never run out of possessions for you to covet. And while there’s nothing wrong with yearning for more out of life, it is possible to be happy with what you currently have. 

In this article, I’ll explore the constant need for more as humans, why it’s so challenging to be happy with what you have, and how it can be possible for you. 

Do you need more to be happy? 

The short answer is yes–and no. As human beings, certain physiological needs such as food, water, and shelter must be met in order to be happy. If you lack any of those basic requirements for survival, you do indeed need more to be happy.

Before you chase higher needs such as happiness, your basic needs must be satisfied first at least according to the father of human psychology, Abraham Maslow.

People often say that money can’t buy you happiness. Though this is true for the most part, there are exceptions. If you’re uncertain of where your next meal is coming from or how you’re going to afford the rent this month, money can certainly buy you the food and security necessary for you to be happy.  

Conversely, research shows that a person can still find ways to be happy even if their most basic needs are fulfilled only partially. This goes to show that it really is possible to be happy with less. 

While you can be happy with less, it turns out that buying more can actually have the opposite effect. A 2011 study revealed that consumerism is linked to lower well-being.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Happiness and hedonic adaptation 

Once your basic needs are met, the concept of needing more to be happy becomes flawed. Humans typically return to a set point of happiness regardless of their positive and negative life experiences. 

This tendency to adjust to life’s ups and downs is a concept referred to as hedonic adaptation or “the hedonic treadmill”. Hedonic adaptation first appeared in a 1971 essay by psychologists Philip Brickman and Donald T. Campbell. 

Brickman and Campbell studied two groups of people: lottery winners and paralyzed accident victims. Based on their research, they found that the initial elation experienced by the lottery winners was not long-lasting. Surprisingly, those who won a life-changing sum of money were not any happier than the paralyzed victims in the long term. 

The hedonic treadmill explains why our positive experiences only have a fleeting effect on our happiness. I’m sure you know what it’s like to look forward to something, feel ecstatic when you finally attain it, and then, just like that, the initial surge in happiness dissipates. Just like that, you’re back where you started. 

The vicious cycle of wanting more to be happy 

The trouble with needing more to be happy is that seeking external sources of happiness is not a permanent solution. Sure, the sudden rush of joy feels amazing at first, but it eventually fades away. 

The transient nature of these sources of happiness can turn into a never-ending cycle of needing more each time to maintain the same level of satisfaction. Not only is this exhausting, but it can be downright unhealthy. 

A 2017 study on sensory-specific satiety found that the first bite of delicious food tastes better than all successive bites. This is why more variety in food options can lead to overeating.  

If you’re active on any social media platform, you’re likely familiar with the rush of dopamine triggered by notifications. Have you noticed how the more likes or comments you receive on a post, the more you want? If a post doesn’t receive the same amount or more likes as your last post, your self-esteem takes a hit. 

Dopamine isn’t just the chemical responsible for feeling pleasure, it’s also pleasure-seeking. If the reward you anticipated doesn’t come, in this case, a certain number of comments and likes on your post, you feel the urge to check your feed more often.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Why fame, wealth, and success won’t make you happier 

The longest study of adult life ever conducted followed two groups for over 80 years:

• Harvard students, and;
• Boys from Boston’s poorest neighborhoods. 

Their findings were rather surprising. The boys who came from disadvantaged families were just as happy as the privileged group. The findings also discovered that good relationships are key to happiness. Not fame, wealth, or success.

Tips on how to be happy with what you have 

Fortunately, there are numerous ways to break the cycle of constantly needing more to be happy. While it may be challenging at first, it is possible to be happy with what you have. 

1. Lean into your relationships 

With so many studies revealing that happiness is determined by your closest relationships, it’s essential for you to work on the quality of yours. The good news is there are a lot of ways to improve your relationships, and many of them don’t require much effort. 

For starters, be fully present with your loved ones while spending time with them. Far too often, we pay more attention to our phones than the people right in front of us.

Another way to strengthen your relationships is to recognize and respond to bids for connection. For example, if your partner is talking about their day, listen intently and ask them questions instead of responding with grunts or worse, not at all. 

2. Start a gratitude practice 

Practicing gratitude is the easiest and most immediate way to be happy with what you have. Good things happen to us every single day, we just don’t take the time to notice. Intentionally acknowledging all the good in your life is beneficial for your health and results in greater happiness. 

If you aren’t grateful for what you already have, what makes you think you would be happy with more?

Roy T. Bennett

There are endless ways to incorporate gratitude into your life. Here are a few suggestions to get you started: 

• Keep a gratitude journal. Write down everything you’re grateful for before you go to bed each night. 
• Each time something good happens to you, express gratitude out loud or silently in your head. 
• If you have a partner, tell them the qualities you appreciate most about them. 
• Celebrate every small win, no matter how small. 
• Thank everyone who shows you kindness. 

3. Stop comparing yourself to others 

We all know that nothing good comes out of comparing yourself to others. And yet, we all do it anyway. Thanks to social media, making comparisons is now easier than ever.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Theodore Roosevelt 

The problem is we often forget that a social media feed isn’t a comprehensive picture of a person’s life. While it may not be possible to resist comparison one hundred percent of the time, being aware of it as it happens is a huge step in the right direction. 

One way to fight the comparison itch is to remind yourself that people typically only share their highlights. Comparing your baseline to someone’s highest achievements will only breed misery.

4. Resist instant gratification

Easier said than done, right? If you truly want to be happy with what you have, you must overcome the temptation of instant gratification. Succumbing to it may give you brief bursts of happiness in the short term, but you could be unknowingly reinforcing a self-destructive habit in the long run. 

Here are some alternatives to the most common forms of instant gratification: 

• Instead of reaching for your phone to check your notifications, stand up and stretch. 
• Instead of indulging in another bite of something unhealthy, take a deep breath. Check in with yourself to determine if you’re still hungry or not. 
• Instead of spending more hours than you’d like playing video games or watching Netflix, gradually reduce the time allotted for these activities. Perhaps, instead of five hours, you can cut it down to four, and then three, and so on. 

Depending on how deeply ingrained the habit is, it may be near impossible to resist so be kind to yourself if you struggle at first. 

If you want to get better at this, here are more tips on how to get better at delaying gratification.

5. Incorporate more minimalism into your life

To be happy with less, you need to get used to having less. The truth is you probably don’t need most of your stuff. Now, I’m not suggesting you have to donate all of your possessions to be happy. However, it wouldn’t hurt to declutter every once in a while and throw anything you no longer use or value in a donation box.

Another way to live more minimally is to thrift your clothes instead of buying new ones. Look for staple, high-quality pieces that you can style in multiple ways instead of falling for the fast fashion trap. 

6. Embrace impermanence 

Accepting the fact that nothing stays the same may seem counterintuitive to happiness, but it’s not. The more you embrace the fact that nothing lasts forever, the less likely you are to cling to it and resist change. Making peace with impermanence also reduces our desire for material objects. This makes it possible to be happy with what you have. 

Moreover, when you understand that all things will wither and fade eventually, you learn to appreciate your life more.

Embracing that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed for anyone is a good reminder to not take the people we love for granted and to savor every bit of happiness that wanders your way. 

7. Invest time in your relationship with yourself 

How well do you really know yourself? It’s difficult to be happy with your life just as it is unless you are intimately familiar with who you are. To know true happiness, you must first know yourself. Most of us have only scratched the surface of our identity. There are parts of ourselves still waiting to be discovered and appreciated. 

To cultivate a loving and healthy relationship, you can: 

• Take yourself out on dates. Go to your favorite restaurant and treat yourself to a delicious meal. Alternatively, you can go to a museum alone and completely immerse yourself in the experience. If you’re a homebody, light a scented candle and read a good book. 
• Journal. Writing your thoughts and feelings down is one of the best ways to improve self-awareness. The more self-aware you are, the easier it becomes to be happy with what you have. 
• Play games by yourself. As children, play used to come naturally to us. As adults, it’s something we dismiss as silly or childish. However, play is actually one of the best ways to grow our right hemisphere, the side of our brain that is key to happiness. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping Up 

Desiring more out of life is inherently human, but your happiness is not dependent on it. Ultimately, your happiness is not sustained by possessions, success, wealth, or fame, it hinges on you. It is possible to be happy with what you have, but like any skill, happiness requires practice. Train yourself to be more grateful, more committed to your relationships, and more minimalistic instead of wanting more. Happiness will surely follow.

Do you want to share your own tips on how to be happy with what you have? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 7 Ways to be Happy With What You Have (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

There’s no point dwelling in the past, and yet, so many of us do it. You can’t change what has already happened, but you can choose not to let it define you or your future. Most of us know this, but leaving the past behind is a lot easier said than done. While it’s fun to reminisce about the good times, your past shouldn’t hold you back from being fully present in your life. 

Unburdening yourself from your past may feel impossible at times, but it can be done. In this article, I’ll explore reasons not to dwell in the past, why you should strive to live in the present moment instead, and a myriad of strategies for putting your past behind you. 

Why you shouldn’t dwell in the past 

Until the day that someone invents a functioning time machine, you can’t go back and change the past. Time and energy spent ruminating on past events is ultimately futile.

While you should absolutely feel your negative emotions and take the time to process any trauma or devastation that happens to you, it does no good to linger over it forever.

Studies found that dwelling on our past mistakes can negatively affect our present behavior. When we focus on our faults, we start to believe a self-defeating narrative about ourselves.

Mistakes are a natural part of being human. Instead of torturing yourself by mentally replaying your errors on repeat, rewrite the perspective of the story. View every mistake as a valuable lesson. Learn from it instead of letting it hold you back. 

Research shows that our thoughts about the future are based on past experiences, but it’s important to let go of the past to make room for new possibilities. Those who struggle with an inability to move beyond past events often get stuck. They are unable to imagine a better future for themselves.  

A study on mood and mind-wandering found that the sad episodes tend to be past-oriented. Most of the time, when our mind wanders back to the past, we do it with sadness. 

However, revisiting the past isn’t always a bad thing. Remembering positive memories from time to time can actually be beneficial for us. 

Why it’s okay to cherish the past sometimes

Recalling past experiences is a normal part of life. In fact, studies show that remembering the past is actually crucial to our memory functions. Memories are a core element of our sense of self. They provide meaning to our lives and the opportunity to learn from our experiences. 

Revisiting the past can even be therapeutic sometimes. Reminiscence therapy has been used in geriatric mental health care for over three decades. It is often used to help patients suffering from dementia and depression. Older adults who reminisce about moments of happiness tend to mentally adapt better to old age. 

It’s no secret that our happy memories can help us in times of stress and difficulty. According to this 2017 study, positive reminiscence evokes positive emotions that have a restorative and protective effect on our brain in the face of stress. Those who recall happy memories tend to be more resilient against exposure to stress.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

The importance of being present 

Although reminiscing about happy times can enhance our well-being, this doesn’t mean you should live in the past. Time doesn’t stop because you can’t leave your past behind.

If you spend all of your time in a recurring loop of past events, life will continue to pass you by. Since time waits for no one, it’s essential to stay firmly rooted in the present. 

Being mindful of the present moment is widely believed to contribute to happiness and overall well-being. A clinical study of cancer patients reveals that an increase in mindfulness minimizes the effects of stress and reduces mood disturbance.

Similarly, a study found that being fully present for life’s experiences generates positive emotions and improves our psychological health. To enjoy life to the fullest, you actually have to be present for it. 

How to leave the past in the past 

I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you. Leaving the past behind is hard–especially when it’s tinged with pain and regret. Nonetheless, you can’t let your past determine the rest of your life.

Here are a few strategies to help you move forward instead of backward. 

1. Cry it out

Never underestimate the power of a good breakdown. If hurtful memories from your past relentlessly haunt you, it might be helpful to allow yourself to fully and openly feel any emotions attached to them. In the same way that suppressing negative emotions is harmful to you, suppressing negative memories just amplifies the pain. 

Crying, on the other hand, is extremely cathartic. As someone who cries all the time and advocates for others to freely cry, I can confirm that it helps tremendously to ease the pain. And science agrees. Researchers have confirmed that crying releases feel-good chemicals such as oxytocin that ease emotional and physical pain. 

Contrary to societal belief, crying is not a sign of weakness. A good cry is nothing to be ashamed of. Real men do cry, and with all these benefits, they definitely should. 

2. Take responsibility for your healing  

If someone has hurt you in the past, it can be difficult to move on. Though you absolutely have the right to be angry and hurt, it’s important to not let that terrible moment define you. You are so much more than the bad things that have happened to you. 

You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.

Oprah Winfrey

You are not responsible for the actions of others, but you are responsible for their impact on you. You’re responsible for your own healing, and the actions you take after someone wrongs you. You, alone, have the power to move on from your pain.

It may be difficult, but don’t you think you owe it to yourself to at least try? 

3. Embrace your mistakes 

Unless you’re some sort of perfect human being, chances are, you’ve probably hurt someone in the past. It may or may not have been intentional, but you’re human. We’re a species that learns by trial and error. We’re bound to mess up every once in a while. 

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

Maya Angelou

There’s no use in reliving your mistakes over and over again in your mind. It does nothing to alleviate the pain you may have caused someone else. The fact is you cannot change what happened, but you can choose to accept it and learn from it. To embrace your mistakes, you could try to: 

• Focus on the next best step. If you hurt someone else, ask them for forgiveness, and ask if there’s anything you can do to remedy the situation. 
• Look for the lesson. Mistakes are the best teachers. Learn from them and avoid repeating the same ones in the future. 
• Forgive yourself.
• You might even learn to laugh about yourself.

4. Try something new 

An effective way to let go of the past is to focus on the new. Specifically, focus on creating new, positive memories. There is an endless variety of experiences to try in this world.

Instead of spending your time stuck in the past, spend it on trying to make new, amazing memories. 

Here are a few memorable activities to try: 

• Go on an adventure somewhere you’ve never been. 
• Learn how to cook a new recipe. 
• Sign up for a lesson for a hobby you’ve always wanted to try. 
• Learn a new language and travel to a country with its native speakers. 
• Try a new cuisine. 

If you want more, here is an entire article about trying something new with its many benefits. Remember to relish every moment of pure bliss that finds you. In the face of a new, wonderful memory in the making, slow down. Take a deep breath, and take it all in. 

5. Forgive those who hurt you 

If someone said unspeakable words to you, cheated on you, or abused you, the last thing on your mind is forgiveness. The idea of forgiving someone who hurt you deeply might sound ridiculous. Forgiving them doesn’t make what they did to you okay. It doesn’t necessarily mean they deserve your forgiveness either. 

But try your best to forgive them anyway. Forgive them for yourself. Your health literally depends on it. Forgiveness offers numerous benefits for your physical health. Studies have found that the act of forgiving someone can: 

• Reduce pain, blood pressure, anxiety, depression, stress, and the risk of a heart attack
• Improve cholesterol levels and sleep quality

Forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for yourself. It’s saying, ‘You’re not important enough to have a stronghold on me.’ It’s saying, ‘You don’t get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future.

Jodi Picoult 

Last but not least, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for every wrong and every fault. Forgive yourself again and again. You deserve your own forgiveness as much as anyone else does. 

Here’s another article specifically about how to practice forgiveness daily.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Your past belongs in the past. There’s no point in dwelling there as your life continues on without your complete presence. While reminiscing about happy moments is beneficial for humans, recalling hurtful or shame-ridden memories has the opposite effect. To experience life to its fullest potential, it’s best to leave your past behind and focus on the present moment. You know what they say, there’s no time like the present.

What do you think? Do you find it hard to leave the past behind and move forward? Or do you want to share a specific tip that has helped you in the past? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 5 Ways to Leave the Past in the Past (And Live A Happier Life) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

In a world where violence, injustice, and despair seem to be everywhere according to news reports and social media, it becomes easier to expect bad outcomes rather than good ones. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to remain positive in the midst of so much negativity. While no one is exempt from life’s difficulties, we can choose to focus on the good and remain hopeful that better days are coming. With enough intention and practice, you can train your mind to look for the positive even in the worst situations. 

In this article, we’ll explore the benefits of paying attention to the positive aspects of life, the harmful effects of dwelling on the bad, and how to focus more on the good.

Why it’s important to focus on the good 

It’s no surprise that positive thinking has a lot of positive effects on your life. Research suggests that those who choose to focus on the good adapt better to stressful situations. Since optimists believe that good events happen more frequently than bad ones, they’re able to cope better with life’s challenges. 

In addition to increasing your mental resilience, concentrating on the positive aspects of a difficult situation can boost your immune system. A study on elderly people found that those who expect good outcomes in life are less likely to pass away, especially from a cardiovascular cause. 

Similarly, another study on cell-mediated immunity in law students suggests that focusing on the positive can lead to a stronger immunity. Students who paid more attention to the aspects of their lives that are going well displayed a stronger immune response to a flu vaccine than those with a more pessimistic outlook. 

The downside of dwelling on the bad 

It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and discouraged by sudden tragedy, trauma, or heartbreak. You’re allowed to feel devastated by the bad things that happen to you. While you shouldn’t minimize your pain and struggles, it’s not a good idea to dwell on them either. 

A study on university students reveals that those who tend to see the bad in any given situation are also more likely to have anxiety and depression. In addition, pessimistic students demonstrated lower levels of grit and a fixed growth mindset.   

Expecting the worst could also have detrimental effects on your physical health.

Research indicates a positive association between pessimism and all-cause mortality. This means that dwelling on the bad things that happen to you could potentially decrease your lifespan.

In other words, there are many downsides to being a pessimist, which we’ve covered more in-depth in this article.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

How to focus on the good 

Shifting your perspective to find the positive in even the most unpleasant situations is easier said than done. Here are 7 tips to help you look on the bright side and train your mind to focus on the good. 

1. Practice gratitude 

Regularly practicing gratitude is one of the easiest ways to condition your mind to focus on the good regardless of external circumstances. When you intentionally identify things to be grateful for each day, you’re unintentionally making an inventory of all the goodness around you.

If you’re going through one of the toughest seasons of your life, trying to be grateful might sound ridiculous. But if you look hard enough, there are plenty of things to be thankful for. You might just find yourself cherishing something as seemingly insignificant as a good cup of coffee. Or recognizing acts of kindness you may not have noticed before like a stranger holding the door open for you. 

If you’re hoping to integrate more gratitude into your daily routine, consider the following tips to stay more consistent with this beneficial practice: 

• Set aside some time every day to write down at least 3 good things that happened to you. 
• Practice gratitude at the same time each day, or right after another habit such as after brushing your teeth. 
• Place your gratitude journal somewhere highly visible like your bedside table or office desk. 

2. See the good in others 

There is no shortage of good people in this world. When you choose to believe that most people want to do good, your mind starts to gather evidence to reinforce this belief.

This confirmation bias helps you to see all of the good in humanity despite the bad.

But I know something else, too: bad people are rare. Good people are everywhere. 

Jeff Bauman

Seeking the good in others broadens your perspective to understand those who may not necessarily share the same views or values. When you habitually search for good qualities in others, you tend to have more positive interactions. This allows you to form new bonds with other people more easily while enhancing the quality of your existing relationships. 

By seeing the best in everyone you encounter, you remind them to see the best in themselves too. For anyone struggling with self-doubt and insecurities, having someone in their life who sees their potential could be life-changing. 

3. Surround yourself with positive people

As social and empathetic beings, the people we spend the most time with tend to rub off on us. They have the power to influence our moods, our opinions, and even our outlook on life. You’ve probably noticed before how your mood shifts when you’re around a friend down on their luck or a family member who loves to complain about everything. 

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Jim Rohn

Similarly, research suggests that happiness and other good vibes are extremely contagious. The study found that those who surround themselves with happy people are more likely to be happy themselves. 

No one radiates positive energy all the time. Everyone has bad days, but spending time with people who constantly choose to dwell in negativity can be infectious and draining.

In contrast, surrounding yourself with people who try their best to focus on the good makes it much easier for you to do the same. 

4. Seek out good news and wholesome stories 

Bad news sells. This is why horrifying and tragic headlines tend to dominate news outlets worldwide. However, just because major news broadcasts and publications fail to report good news as much as the bad doesn’t mean good things don’t happen all the time. You might just need to look a little bit harder to find it. 

There are plenty of online sources that publish wholesome stories and good news. If you want your faith in humanity restored, here are a few spaces worth exploring: 

• Good News Network: A news site specifically dedicated to counteracting all the bad news on mainstream media with some positive stories. (We’ve been covered here in the past as well!)
• MadeMeSmile subreddit: A space where Reddit users share uplifting content and just about anything that makes them smile. 
• 10 days of positive thinking TED playlist: A TED Talk playlist that aims to help you think more positive thoughts. 

Consuming uplifting content is a good antidote to all the negative events happening around you or directly to you. It also serves as a wonderful reminder that goodness is more common than we think. 

5. Recognize your good qualities

In addition to purposely seeking external examples of goodness, it’s essential to acknowledge your own good qualities. Far too many of us have harsh inner critics who love to point out our flaws and worst mistakes. 

This often creates a negative view of ourselves and a false narrative that we deserve the bad things that come our way. It’s almost impossible to have a positive outlook on life if you have a negative relationship with yourself. If you want to focus on all the good this life has to offer, then it has to start with yourself. 

You have so much good to offer the world. And you deserve every bit of goodness this world has to offer in return.  

If you struggle with low self-esteem, identifying your own positive traits might seem like an impossible task. Here are a few exercises to help you discover and focus on your best qualities: 

• Cultivate positive self-talk. Speak to yourself gently and lovingly even when you mess up. 
• Commend yourself for your good deeds and acts of kindness no matter how small. Did you buy your co-worker a cup of coffee this morning? How nice of you! Did you compliment a stranger? That’s amazing! 
• Try saying affirmations out loud and write them down. The more you repeat these positive declarations to yourself, the more it becomes ingrained in your mind.  

6. Make downward comparisons 

In an ideal world, we wouldn’t compare ourselves to anyone. Since social comparison appears to be inherently human, it’s practically impossible to eliminate this tendency completely. If you must compare, try to make downward social comparisons instead. 

Downward social comparisons involve comparing yourself to those who are less fortunate than you. A study on the effects of social comparison shows that those who compare themselves downward are more likely to feel better about themselves and more optimistic about their future. This means downward comparisons could help you recognize and focus on the good in your life. 

However, this doesn’t mean you should invalidate your own suffering. Just because someone is going through something objectively worse than you doesn’t make your pain and struggles any less valid. 

Comparing yourself to others is often seen as something bad, but this article further explains why that doesn’t always have to be the case.

7. Live in the present 

One of the best ways to rid your mind of negativity is to simply be in the present moment. Our ruminations about past painful experiences and our anxieties about the future often get in the way of positive thinking.

To focus on the good, you must try your best to concentrate on living in the present. 

If you were conscious, that is to say totally present in the Now, all negativity would dissolve almost instantly. It could not survive in your presence.

Eckhart Tolle

Practicing mindfulness allows you to become more aware of any negative thought patterns and shifts your mind towards good thoughts instead. It also reduces anxiety and stress that could hinder you from seeing all the good things in your life. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up 

We can’t control many of the painful and unfortunate events that happen to us. However, you can choose to focus on the positive aspects of your life and trust that good things are coming. By appreciating all the goodness within you and around you, intentionally seeking it in others, and living in the present moment, you can rewire your brain to see all the good this life has to offer.

What do you think? Do you find it easy to focus on the good, even when bad things happen everywhere around you? I’d love to hear your tips, thoughts, and anecdotes on this topic in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 7 Ways to Focus on the Good and Positive Things in Life appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Most people need a few moments to think about their strengths before reluctantly sharing them. In a society that fixates on flaws and urges people to continuously seek improvement, it becomes easier to identify your weaknesses rather than your strengths. We’re encouraged to be hard on ourselves. While it might take some time to shift your focus from the negative to the positive, it’s important to see your own best traits and natural talents. By identifying and leveraging your strengths, you give yourself the best chance of reaching your full potential. 

In this article, I’ll explore the importance of identifying what you’re good at, why it’s often easier to focus on your weaknesses, and how to recognize your own strengths. 

Why it’s important to identify your strengths 

The way we perceive ourselves matters. Research on leadership reveals that leaders who perceive themselves to be effective leaders are more likely to demonstrate good leadership.

Self-perception and self-awareness are crucial to actual performance. Those who embrace their strengths and acknowledge the opinions of those they lead are more likely to become better leaders. 

Finding and harnessing your strengths bring you closer to a more fulfilled life. A case study shows that those who discover their strengths interact with the world differently. Focusing on the things we do well allows us to get the most out of life. 

Studies on strengths-based development training found that harnessing your strengths improves confidence and a sense of direction in life. In addition to gaining a better understanding of their life purpose, people who focus on their best traits are more likely to believe in themselves and their abilities. 

Moreover, research on authentic happiness found that people who have identified the things they’re good at and actively pursue them experience more positive emotions, increased engagement, and higher levels of well-being. 

Why it’s easier to identify your weaknesses

As human beings, there’s no doubt that we thrive better under positivity rather than negativity. Despite this, we tend to cling to criticism and hurtful words more than we hold on to praise and compliments. 

Numerous surveys have shown this bias toward negativity pervades the workplace as well. Just as people tend to focus more on their weaknesses rather than their strengths, employers do the same. During performance reviews, employers tend to discuss weaknesses and suggestions for improvement instead of developing an employee’s existing strengths. 

Meanwhile, some people struggle to acknowledge their strengths out of fear of sounding arrogant or conceited. If this is the case, it’s important to remember that there’s nothing wrong with embracing the things you excel at.

Own your strengths. You deserve praise and recognition.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

How to identify your strengths 

If you’re not sure what your strengths are, it’s never too late to discover them. Here are 5 tips to help you identify and harness your best traits and natural abilities. 

1. Expand your definition of strength 

When we think of our strengths, we often narrow the definition of this concept to skills and traits that could impress a hiring manager. While you should be proud of skills such as critical thinking and great communication, you are so much more than your resume. Expand your concept of strength to encompass all areas of your life.

Some incredible talents and characteristics that are often overlooked, but should be considered as strengths include: 

• Emotional intelligence.
• Kindness and compassion.
• Resilience and refusing to give up in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles.
• Seeing the good in other people.
• Being a reliable friend.
• Patience.
• Stubbornly following your own path.

2. Improve self-awareness through journaling 

It’s no secret that if you want to discover your strengths, you have to increase your self-awareness. One of the best ways to get to know yourself better is to journal. 

Self-discovery occurs gradually when you freely express your thoughts and feelings on paper. If you’re in a bit of a rush and want to discover your strengths as soon as possible, journaling prompts could help speed up the process. 

Here are some prompts to consider trying the next time you journal: 

• What activities come naturally to me? 
• What abilities do I lack training in, but excel at anyways? 
• Which subjects in school did I achieve the highest marks on as a kid? 
• When people turn to me for help, is it usually for anything specific? 
• What can I spend hours doing and never get tired of? 

3. Take personality and strength tests 

A more direct solution to identifying your strengths is to take strengths-based quizzes. These quizzes are designed to help you discover your natural gifts and talents. 

Here are two of the most popular self-assessments to help you find your strengths: 

• CliftonStrengths Assessment.
• VIA Survey of Character Strengths.

Another great way to improve self-awareness and identify your strengths is to take some personality tests. 

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or MBTI was developed based on Carl Jung’s psychological types. It identifies 16 distinctive personality types, each with its own preferences, strengths, and weaknesses. 

The MBTI quiz specifically identifies the strengths and weaknesses of each type. For example, I’m an INFP. According to my MBTI, my strengths are empathetic, generous, open-minded, creative, passionate, and idealistic. Since we’re making the conscious decision to focus on our strengths in this article, let’s just skip the part about my weaknesses. 

As popular as the MBTI is, most psychologists prefer to test personality based on the Big Five. People are tested based on how high or low they score according to five traits:

• Openness.
• Conscientiousness.
• Extraversion.
• Agreeableness.
• Neuroticism.

4. Ask people who know you well

If you’re too humble to identify your strengths on your own, enlist the help of people who you know best. Ask your partner, friends, and family members what they believe your biggest strengths are. You’d be surprised at how many strengths you actually have but never paid attention to.

Gather this data from your loved ones and analyze it. If a particular trait or skill comes up often then that’s probably a significant strength of yours. 

In the event that you’re too shy or self-conscious to ask the people you love for compliments, just ask one person. Ask someone who knows you better than anyone else on this planet what your strengths are, and believe them when they tell you how amazing you are.

5. Pay attention to praise from others

You might not have been paying attention to your own strengths, but chances are, lots of other people have. There is probably a trail of clues to finding your greatest gifts and traits from both your past and present employers, co-workers, partners, friends, and complete strangers. 

If you want to find your strengths, it’s a good idea to listen to others when they notice positive things about you.

Pay attention to positive feedback from your supervisors or co-workers. Believe your partner or your friends when they compliment you about something you do well. Thank strangers when they praise you for a trait you often overlook. 

Focusing on positive words from others is not only a great way to discover your strengths, but it’s also a much better alternative than ruminating on the negative.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Despite what you may have been taught to believe, identifying your strengths as a human being is not vain or narcissistic. It’s actually essential to growing and fulfilling your potential in life. Instead of spending all of your energy on trying to fix your weaknesses, focus on how to build on your strengths as well. A life based on your natural gifts and talents is typically a life based on happiness too.

What do you think? Did this article help you determine your strengths? Can you list 5 of your strengths? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 5 Ways to Identify Your Strengths and What You’re Good At! appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

In this increasingly digital age, it’s practically impossible to live a life completely detached from the online world. With the rise of social media and the recent unprecedented surge in remote work, a huge portion of our lives requires us to be ‘plugged in.’ Despite how tempting it is to check your phone as soon as it buzzes or put in extra hours to get ahead at work, it’s important to unplug once in a while. As amazing and essential as technology is, you have an entire life that exists outside of it. Sometimes, you have to unplug to fully experience it. 

In this article, I’ll explore why it’s so difficult to unplug in this modern era, the dangers of being too attached to screens, and tips on how to unplug. 

Why it’s so hard to unplug 

If you’ve ever forgotten your phone at home, you probably know how disorienting and unnatural it feels to accidentally unplug for a few hours.

Research shows that ‘nomophobia’ or the fear of being disconnected from our mobile phones causes most people anxiety. The anxiety-inducing feeling of being without your phone seems to be a universal experience among modern-day humans.

Similarly, it’s common for people to subconsciously open social media apps and mindlessly scroll for hours. As a social species, our brains are wired to seek out positive social stimuli.

Social media app developers understand this better than anyone and purposely design apps to be addictive. A study found that the dopamine we receive from someone retweeting a tweet or liking a social media post activates the same reward circuits in our brain as money, delicious food, and psychostimulant drugs.  

In contrast, some people struggle to unplug because their success depends on constantly being plugged in. Entrepreneurs, digital nomads, and remote workers sometimes find their work seeping into other aspects of their lives. 

The dangers of being constantly plugged in

The pandemic forced an unprecedented number of people to work from home. For many, it was a tough adjustment. It’s hard to separate your work from your home life especially when they both occur in the same environment.

A study of remote workers during the pandemic discovered that a concerning number of them experienced higher levels of stress and burnout.

Just as excessive work is harmful to you, so is excessive social media usage. Research suggests that social media use is linked to several mental health disorders. Despite its ability to produce dopamine, social media might also cause insomnia, anxiety, and depression. 

In worst-case scenarios, the inability to unplug could even result in serious injuries or death. A data study of cell phone usage and car accidents found a positive correlation between call volumes and accidents that resulted in serious injury. While there are laws to prevent distracted driving in most countries, those who can’t unplug from their work or social lives might find it more difficult to abide by them.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Why unplugging will make you happier 

With technologies such as streaming services and virtual reality, unplugging to be happy might seem unnecessary. Alternatively, hustle culture which values unrelenting hard work often dismisses the importance of rest. 

However, studies show that rest and being unplugged is crucial to your health. Doing nothing isn’t always a bad thing. Rest is not only vital to your physical and mental health, it can also boost your productivity when you return to work. 

While it is possible to rest and still use screens, a study on ICU patients found that spending time outdoors significantly reduced stress. Spending a few minutes every day surrounded by nature can do wonders for your mental wellness. 

Research also suggests that limiting your social media use can actually decrease depression and loneliness. When participants restricted their time on social media, the feeling of ‘FOMO’ or fear of missing out dissipated. As a result, their well-being drastically improved. 

5 simple ways to unplug 

If you struggle to function without your phone or disconnect from work completely, you’re not alone. Here are 5 tips to help you unplug from our increasingly digital world and be more intentional about rest. 

1. Silence your notifications 

Email, text, and social media flood our phones with nonstop notifications. Unless you’ve tinkered with your settings and turned some of them off, your phone probably buzzes all day.

While the hit of dopamine from a like on Instagram or a message from a friend is instantly gratifying, it can become addicting. 

Notifications are designed to entice us to check our phones constantly. Have you ever opened a social media app to quickly check a notification but ended up scrolling through your feed for half an hour? 

If you want to unplug and resist the urge to check your phone every time a notification appears, try silencing them. Notifications serve as incessant reminders to plug back into our hypersocial digital world. Turning off the sound and vibration of social notifications makes these reminders a lot easier to ignore. 

2. Track your app usage 

Social media app developers recognize how easy yet unhealthy it is to scroll mindlessly through feeds. For those who want to be more mindful of their time spent on social media, many apps now have a built-in usage tracker. 

In addition to displaying the duration of time you spend on the app, these trackers provide the option to set reminders. This tool allows users to track their usage and hold themselves accountable by setting a reminder for a specific time limit. 

While you can still continue to use the app after the reminder pops up, these in-app trackers are undoubtedly a step in the right direction. 

3. Schedule a monthly digital detox

One of the best ways to unplug is to literally unplug from the digital world. While some experts recommend doing a digital detox once a week, this is a big ask for anyone who hasn’t turned off their smartphone in years. 

If you want to make a habit of unplugging, you might find more success by starting off slow with a monthly rather than a weekly digital detox. Here are a few tips to help your detox from digital devices go smoothly: 

• Figure out a realistic duration for your detox. If your work or other obligations won’t allow a full 24 hours, try scheduling the detox from sunrise to sunset instead. 
• Inform your family and friends of your scheduled detox to prevent them from worrying if they’re unable to reach you. 
• If turning your phone off is not enough to reduce the temptation of checking certain apps, delete those apps entirely and reinstall them when your digital detox is done. 
• Plan fun activities to do during your digital detox such as reading a book, going out for a hike, or taking on a creative project. 
• Ask your partner or friend to join you on your digital detox. 
• Immerse yourself in nature completely with a cottage getaway or a camping trip. 

4. Create a mindful morning or night routine 

In the event that a complete digital fast is not feasible for your lifestyle, consider implementing a screen-free morning or night routine instead. 

Chances are, one of the first things you do as soon as you wake up is check your phone for notifications. Instead of reaching for your phone in the morning, you could try to incorporate the following habits into your routine: 

• Doing a morning meditation or affirmation.
• Performing a relaxing yoga routine.
• Going for an early jog.
• Taking a morning walk. 
• Writing in a journal.

In addition to reducing your screen time in the morning, it’s also a good idea to limit your screen time before bed. In fact, the CDC recommends removing electronic devices from the bedroom entirely to practice good sleep hygiene. 

5. Implement a no-screen rule at the dinner table 

A conversation with someone preoccupied with their phone can feel frustrating and one-sided. Most of the time, their attention is too focused on their phone to actually listen to what you’re saying. 

If you want to unplug and be more present at mealtimes, consider trying a no-screen rule. Eliminating the distractions of phones fosters more meaningful conversations. This allows you to fully connect and give your undivided attention to others at the table. 

Practicing a no-screen rule yourself might encourage others to do the same as well. If you’re dining out at a restaurant, you could turn it into a fun game in which the person who reaches for their phone first has to pay for the bill. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up 

As technology continues to progress at a rapid pace, it’s becoming more and more difficult to disconnect from the digital world. Whether you struggle to ignore social media notifications or set clear boundaries between rest and work, it’s a good idea to unplug whenever you can. By managing your social media usage and reducing your screen time, you’ll be able to reap the full benefits of resting and unplugging.

What do you think? Do you know how to unplug, or are you finding it hard to close the door on all your addicting distractions? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 5 Tips to Unplug and Disconnect From Chaos (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Plenty of people experience periods of low energy and inactivity. Being in a state of inertia doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a lazy human being. In most cases, people who are labeled as ‘lazy’ are actually suffering from underlying conditions that prevent them from actively participating in life. Laziness isn’t always a sin or a character flaw, and it’s often not a choice. 

Letting go of the self-defeating belief that you’re a lazy person is the first step to stop being idle. In this article, I’ll explore the concept of laziness, why it might not be your fault, and how to motivate yourself to take action. 

What is laziness, really? 

Laziness can be defined as a person’s disinclination to perform an activity in spite of the ability to do it.

The word is often used as a catch-all term for behaviors that display a lack of motivation or effort despite our capabilities. While this unwillingness to take action is sometimes deliberate, more often than not, it is caused by hidden obstacles that so-called ‘lazy’ individuals are either not aware of or failing to address. 

Most people are not intrinsically lazy, but simply face invisible barriers to motivation or effort. Sometimes these barriers are situational, but other times they might be self-imposed. 

Why laziness isn’t always our fault 

Research shows that our brains might just be wired for lazy behaviors. This explains why in spite of knowing that exercise is beneficial for our well-being, people are actually becoming less active. 

Similarly, this 2015 paper by Harvard professor, Dr. Daniel Lieberman, claims that physical laziness is not only a natural but normal part of being human. 

The clinical psychologist, Dr. Nando Pelusi, suggests that humans may have inherited laziness from their ancestors. It’s possible that your reluctance to take action is actually an instinctive desire to conserve energy. 

As a society, we often mistake symptoms of mental illness such as anxiety or depression for laziness.

Some of the most common symptoms of depression are loss of interest in activities, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating. Without context, these behaviors are often perceived as ‘lazy.’ For most people, it’s easier to blame these behaviors on laziness rather than face more difficult questions or seek professional help.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Does laziness even exist? 

There is a growing number of psychologists who argue that laziness isn’t a fault or character flaw. In fact, it doesn’t actually exist. 

In his book, The Myth of Laziness, Dr. Mel Levine argues that there is no such thing as laziness after studying ‘lazy’ children. Laziness, he proposes, is simply output failure caused by a neurodevelopmental problem. 

Similarly, the social psychologist, Dr. Devon Price argues that laziness is a lie to convince us that we’re not productive enough as a society. Instead of perceiving ‘lazy’ individuals as lacking or weak, it would be more helpful to question whether they have unmet needs or struggles that are being dismissed. 

How to stop being ‘lazy’

Motivating yourself to take action while your mind resists is no easy feat. Here are a few tips to help you stop feeling lazy and show up for yourself even when you don’t feel like it. 

1. Track your habits 

Almost everything we do in our daily lives is out of habit. Humans, after all, are creatures of habit. Therefore, the formation of good habits is crucial to success and productivity. Breaking your self-destructive habits can also help you stop feeling lazy. 

In his book, Atomic Habits, James Clear explains the power of tiny shifts in changing people’s lives for the better.

Slight improvements in behavior eventually become automatic and circumvent the need for motivation to take action. To help develop positive habits, he suggests using a habit tracker. 

You can start off by tracking one habit at a time or several at once. Since it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit, the longer you can continue your daily streak, the better. Tracking your habits also allows you to visualize your progress. This can provide a sense of accomplishment that proves you’re not lazy after all.

In fact, you’re highly capable of improvement. Some potential daily habits to track to help you stop feeling lazy are: 

• Wake up early.
• Exercise.
• Make the bed.
• Meditate.
• Clean or declutter for 15 minutes.

2. Use the snowball effect 

Starting is often the hardest part when it comes to anything in life. If you’re tired of your own indolence, focus all of your energy on taking the first step. The important thing is to just start.

The hardest part of any important task is getting started on it in the first place. Once you actually begin work on a valuable task, you seem to be naturally motivated to continue. 

Brian Tracy

It’s easier to begin with small changes rather than more drastic ones. It can be something as small as getting out of bed without hitting the snooze button on your alarm or spending the first few minutes of your day in meditation.

Over time, completing these small actions can give you the confidence to take on bigger goals and more significant changes. 

Tiny, actionable steps toward improvement can eventually snowball into an entirely different lifestyle, far removed from laziness. 

3. Create incentives 

Incentives are a great way to persuade yourself to complete any task. Although the accomplishment of completing the task itself offers a good intrinsic reward, you can sweeten the deal with extrinsic ones.

A reward system can give you the incentive to accomplish tasks you dread and push you to overcome any feelings of reluctance that may arise. 

For example, if you want to start working out and go to the gym more often, reward yourself with a delicious smoothie after your workout.

If you’re unhappy with your current job and want to start job hunting, reward yourself by watching an episode of your favorite show guilt-free after each job application you submit. 

4. Ensure your environment is in line with your goals 

A good strategy to beat lazy tendencies is to make sure your environment works in your favor. By making small changes to your space, you can set yourself up for success.

If you work from home and want to be more productive at work, make sure to eliminate any distractions from your office. This could mean turning off your phone while you’re working or closing the door to limit disruptions. 

On the other hand, if you want to start meditating or doing yoga in the morning, try placing your yoga mat in a highly visible spot the night before. This will make it harder for you to ignore it the next day. 

5. Take better care of your health 

Often, a lack of energy can be mistaken for laziness, but might actually be caused by physical health issues. If you’re constantly too exhausted to perform even the simplest of tasks, your body might be trying to tell you something. 

Taking better care of your physical health is not only essential to your well-being, but it could boost your energy drastically. The more energized you are, the less lazy you’ll feel. To live a healthier lifestyle, you could try to:  

• Sleep for at least 7 hours every night. Never underestimate the power of a good night’s sleep to improve your mood and energy levels the following day. 
• Be mindful of the food you consume. Stay away from foods that are high in sugar to avoid spikes in energy followed by sudden crashes. Instead, aim to consume high-protein foods that can deliver more consistent energy levels throughout the day. 
• Exercise daily. It might be hard to convince yourself to move your body at first especially if it’s been a while. A good tip is to find someone to hold you accountable. You can ask your partner or a friend to be your workout buddy. 

6. Consider seeking professional help 

Sometimes, your laziness isn’t actually laziness at all. There’s a possibility that the root cause of your inability to do anything is a lot more insidious. 

Anxiety can often manifest itself as procrastination, which is frequently mistaken as laziness.

If this is the case, your unwillingness to accomplish goals might be a result of fear of failure or feelings of not being good enough. It has nothing to do with being lazy, and it’s certainly not your fault. It would be best to seek professional help to determine if you have anxiety masking itself as laziness. 

If you struggle to get out of bed regularly and you lack the motivation to participate in activities that you typically enjoy, depression might be the cause of your perceived laziness. Depression is often mistaken for laziness or a lack of willpower.

There is nothing lazy or weak about someone battling depression. It takes tremendous strength and courage to cope with this disorder. I highly recommend seeking professional help if you suspect this is the case. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Most people don’t choose to be ‘lazy’. Often, there are invisible barriers in their way of life that are mistaken for laziness. Change the narrative you tell yourself and stop identifying as a ‘lazy’ person. Instead, develop good habits, celebrate small accomplishments, and live a healthier lifestyle. If this fails, seek professional help to ensure your ‘laziness’ is not actually anxiety or depression in disguise.

What do you think? Do you think of yourself as a lazy person? Or do you find it hard to form habits that are productive? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 6 Powerful Tips to Stop Being Lazy (and Become More Productive) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

The journey to building up your self-confidence won’t be quick or easy. Fortunately, you can still exude confidence without necessarily embracing it. The concept of “fake it ‘til you make it” suggests that showing up as someone who is self-confident might be an effective approach to developing actual confidence. By simply appearing confident, we can trick our minds into perceiving ourselves as a confident person. 

In this article, I’ll explore the importance of showing self-confidence even when you don’t actually feel confident, and the various ways you can exude confidence in your everyday life. 

What is self-confidence?

Self-confidence can be defined as the feeling of certainty that you are capable of handling something. It means you believe in your abilities and skills to overcome any circumstance. It also means being able to recognize your own strengths and talents. 

This confidence in one’s self and abilities is the foundation of so many great things in life, including happiness. When you are confident in yourself, you move through life with greater ease and self-awareness. 

As a result, self-confidence, or a lack thereof, can dramatically impact the quality of your life. 

Why it’s important to show self-confidence 

You are likely no stranger to the benefits of confidence. You’ve probably experienced it for yourself. Perhaps, confidence gave you the ability to successfully ask someone out on a date or give an impressive presentation at work. When you radiate confidence, life seems to conspire in your favor. 

If you haven’t experienced it for yourself yet, you probably witnessed the impact of confidence in other people. People with confidence carry themselves differently than those who lack it. This likely stems from their certainty in their sense of self and their capabilities. As a result, confident people tend to be happier and more emotionally intelligent. 

Self-confidence is essential to achieving what you want in life. Studies show a positive correlation between self-confidence and achievement. When you are certain of your ability to achieve something, you are more likely to achieve it. 

Even if you lack self-confidence, it’s important to appear confident anyways. Showing up in your daily life as someone who is confident might help you gradually become the confident person you are trying to personate. 

Can appearing confident help you gain more confidence? 

Confidence tends to be elusive for a lot of us. It’s impossible to feel confident a hundred percent of the time. Everyone has days when their inner-critic or self-doubt gets the better of them. If you’re having one of those days or the feeling of confidence continues to escape you, you can always fake confidence until you actually feel it. 

Social psychologist Amy Cuddy and her colleagues conducted an interesting study on the impact of ‘power posing’ on the brain. Their research demonstrates that a confident posture even when participants lack actual confidence can have a positive impact on their success. Those who did the high-power pose projected more confidence and performed better during a job interview than those who did the low-power pose. This suggests that we can boost our own confidence by simply appearing more confident. 

How to show self-confidence 

For anyone struggling with self-confidence, the good news is that there are ways to show confidence even if you haven’t fully embraced it yet. Here are 5 tips to help you exude confidence in your everyday life. 

1. Be mindful of your body language

When it comes to appearing confident, your body language says everything. From the way you stand to the way you move your hands, your body’s posture and movements can reveal your confidence in yourself. 

Think of the most confident person you know, and observe the way they carry themselves. Now, imagine someone deeply insecure. The physical presence of those two people are diametrically opposed to each other. Chances are, you can tell from their postures and movements alone who exudes confidence and who needs to work on developing it. 

Hence, the secret to showing self-confidence is in your body language. To look more confident, try to incorporate the following postures and movements into your body language: 

• Roll your shoulders back, keep your head high, and stand up straight. 
• Maintain eye contact during a conversation or presentation.
• When meeting someone for the first time, shake their hand firmly. 
• Avoid fidgeting. 
• Fight the urge to cross your arms or place your hands in your pocket. 
• Offer positive social cues such as a friendly facial expression or a few nods to reassure someone who is speaking to you that you’re listening.
• If you are trying to make a point, use hand movements to reinforce your words.
• Subtly mirror the body language of other people and match their energy to develop a better connection with them. 

2. Edit your speaking style

The way you speak conveys your confidence just as much as your body language. While some people like Barack Obama or Nelson Mandela appear to be naturally gifted orators, it doesn’t mean a confident speaking style is beyond reach for the rest of us. 

There are numerous ways to demonstrate your self-confidence through your speaking style. Here are a few tips to help you speak more confidently: 

• Speak slowly. People who don’t rush their words tend to have a calm, cool, and collected aura about them. 
• Enunciate your words clearly. Treat your words like they deserve to be heard. 
• Pause to collect your thoughts. It’s always a good idea to gather your thoughts before speaking. This gives them more sincerity. 
• Get comfortable with moments of silence. Not every moment of silence is awkward. There is no need to always fill these moments with noise. 
• Try your best to avoid words like “just” or “um” that water down your intention. 

When attempting to make these changes to your speaking style, it’s important to be patient with yourself. It took you most of your life to develop your current speaking style, so it’s going to take quite some time to alter it. 

3. Own your accomplishments 

Are you the kind of person who deflects compliments? Perhaps, you answer every compliment you receive with another compliment directed towards the other person. While there’s nothing wrong with being humble or appreciating other people, you have to own your accomplishments. 

Having a low opinion of yourself is not ‘modesty.’ It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not ‘egotism.’ It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success.

Bobbe Sommer

There is nothing vain or arrogant about accepting a compliment with a simple thank you. Even if you don’t feel like you are worthy of it, simply thank the person for recognizing something good about you. I’m willing to bet that you actually deserve it. 

One of the best ways to exude confidence is to claim your success and recognize your best qualities. That way, when someone acknowledges your achievements, you can demonstrate gratitude rather than minimize your hard work and efforts. 

4. Put more effort into your appearance 

It probably goes without saying, but there are far more important things in this life than your physical appearance. Your worth and value as a human being is by no means defined by how you look. 

However, if your appearance is something that you care about, putting more effort into it is a sure way to appear more confident. When we know we look good, we tend to feel good as well. This good feeling allows us to show up with more confidence in our lives. 

You probably move through the world differently in a well-tailored suit or a gorgeous dress than you would in a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. As a result, taking the time to choose an outfit that makes you feel confident or working out to achieve your fitness goals can help you radiate confidence. 

5. Smile often

Nothing screams confidence quite like a smile on your face. A smile has the ability to put people at ease and convey confidence. Smiling gives you the appearance of someone who is happy and friendly.  

People who genuinely smile often tend to ooze confidence. We naturally gravitate towards these people because we associate them with positivity. On the other hand, we avoid people who never smile because it’s often safe to assume they’re not in a good mood. 

To emanate confidence in your daily interactions, be generous with your smile. The best part about smiling is that it encourages others to do the same. Smile every time you feel like it or when you feel like someone could use it. Chances are, you’ll get a couple of beautiful smiles in return.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up 

It’s important to appear confident even when you don’t necessarily feel like it. Feigning confidence until you gain real confidence may sound a bit like cheating, but it’s actually a good strategy to help you develop confidence faster. When it comes to confidence, don’t be afraid to fake it until you make it. It doesn’t matter how you get there. All that matters is that you make it.

Do you find it hard to show self-confidence? Or do you want to share a tip of yours that will help others with their self-confidence? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 5 Actionable Ways to Show Self-Confidence (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Happiness is determined by a vast range of complex internal and external factors. A happy life is reasonably achievable for most of us, but for some, happiness is significantly more difficult to obtain. There are factors beyond our control that impede happiness such as socioeconomic status, genetics, and mental illness. However, just because you’re not able to choose happiness right now doesn’t mean that you never will. With the right perspective, resources, and support, happiness can be within reach. 

In this article, I’ll explore the various factors that unfairly hinder happiness for some people and the strategies to help you cope with these circumstances.

Can happiness be hereditary? 

Although happiness is a choice for the most part, it turns out some humans are born with a greater disposition for happiness. 

Your genetics may not guarantee happiness, but they do determine your personality to some extent. A study on the genetics of personality discovered that some people are born with personalities capable of creating an ‘affective reserve.’ These people are able to use this reserve of happiness to cope better with life’s difficulties. 

Factors beyond our control that deter happiness 

While happiness is attainable for most of us, it’s a lot more difficult for some people. Some are at a disadvantage, while others are simply not wired for it. 

It’s significantly easier for those with greater access to resources to choose happiness. A study suggests a correlation between quality of life and life satisfaction. People who lack security, financial stability, and spiritual harmony report lower levels of happiness.

Another study found happiness to be higher among people with access to financial resources and social support. Those who are better off financially experience higher levels of life satisfaction. When you have access to support such as therapy, it becomes easier to determine and overcome the factors in the way of your happiness.

While access to therapy does help, it’s significantly more challenging for those with mental illness to choose happiness. According to one study, mental health is the strongest indicator of happiness. Those who suffer from a mental illness are less likely to be happy than those who don’t. 

Tips on how to deal with it 

As much as we wish we could simply wake up and choose happiness, that’s not always possible. Regardless of whatever circumstance in your life is preventing you from being happy, here 5 tips to help you deal with it. 

1. Practice gratitude daily 

There’s a reason why every self-help book seems to contain a chapter on gratitude. Gratitude is consistently linked with greater happiness. Those who are more grateful tend to experience more positive emotions and blissful moments. It also helps people cope better with difficult situations and negative emotions. 

I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.

Brené Brown

Gratitude teaches you to acknowledge the good things that come your way. It trains your mind to notice goodness even in the most unexpected places. From the kind stranger who held the door open for you at the coffee shop to the way the sky looks at sunset, gratitude allows you to appreciate what you typically overlook. This makes it easier to find moments of joy in the mundane. 

The practice of being thankful for something at least once a day can dramatically shift your life perspective. To start a gratitude practice, take a few moments before bed each night to reflect on the day’s events. Try your best to name at least one thing you’re grateful for. The more you can name, the better. It’s also a good idea to write them down in a journal. This way, you can look back and read about all the good things that have happened to you. 

2. Create a self-care routine 

When you feel at your worst, your self-care often suffers. Ironically, this is when you need self-care the most. This is why it’s essential to create a self-care routine that eventually becomes a habit. 

You might not be able to choose happiness, but you can choose to take care of yourself. A self-care routine is a powerful antidote to life’s biggest stressors. True self-care, the type that goes beyond bubble baths and a tub of ice cream, isn’t always easy. It means showing up for yourself even when you don’t feel like it.  

If you’re interested in building a self-care routine, here are a few ideas to consider including in your daily routine: 

• Sleep for at least 7 hours. 
• Make the bed in the morning. 
• Meditate. 
• Go for a walk. 
• Prepare nutritious meals for yourself. 
• Exercise. 
• Drink at least 8 cups of water. 
• Journal. 
• Read a book before bed. 
• Practice gratitude. 

When you invest the time and energy into taking care of your well-being, you give yourself your best chance of being happy. 

3. Assess your relationships 

Numerous studies have shown that the quality of your relationships influences your happiness. The longest study on happiness ever conducted found that people who are satisfied in their relationships live longer and happier lives. Therefore, it’s crucial to invest time and effort into the relationships that matter most to you. 

On the other hand, if you’re in an unhealthy relationship, it’s possible that might be contributing to your lack of happiness. Your relationships are meant to support and uplift you, not drain your energy or make you feel small. 

To assess the health of your relationships, ask yourself the following questions: 

• Can I be fully myself around this person? 
• Can I communicate with them openly about anything? 
• Do I trust this person to be honest with me? Can I be honest with them? 
• Does my chest feel lighter or heavier when I’m with them? 
• Do they respect my boundaries? 

It’s important to examine your relationships and identify those that are unhealthy. Remember that it’s okay to walk away from relationships that no longer serve you. 

4. Embrace yin and yang 

The complex philosophy of yin and yang or yin-yang has been around for over a thousand years. It’s a beautiful concept with roots in Taoism that essentially explains the balance that permeates all aspects of life. According to this philosophy, seemingly opposite forces such as light and dark are actually deeply interconnected.

This means that without pain and sorrow, we wouldn’t be able to fully experience happiness. The worst moments of your life make your best ones all the more meaningful. Yin-yang suggests that pain and suffering are necessary human experiences that allow happiness to be possible. 

The wound is the place where the Light enters you.

Rumi

So if you’re going through dark days, keep going. If yin-yang is right, brighter days are bound to come soon. You might not be able to choose happiness today, but someday, you will. Life will balance itself out. 

5. Seek professional help 

Happiness is often not a choice for anyone suffering from mental illness. If anxiety or depression is preventing you from experiencing happiness, consider seeking professional help. Your mental illness is not your fault, and you are certainly not alone. But it can be tough to remember this without the proper support. 

It’s possible that a chemical imbalance in your brain is the barrier between you and happiness. A therapist can prescribe medication to help you regulate your mood and gain back control over your life. You may not be able to choose happiness while suffering from a mental illness, but you can make the brave choice to go to therapy.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Closing words

Even though happiness is not always a choice, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to improve your life. Learning how to deal with negativity, connecting with people on a regular basis, volunteering and improving your habits can all help you become a happier person. Happiness might not always be a choice, but loving yourself and improving your life can be.

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post Why Happiness is not Always a Choice (+5 Tips on Dealing With it) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.