It is sometimes extremely easy for our levels of thoughtfulness to slip a little bit. Or it might be that you feel you are not as instinctively thoughtful as other people. But it is something we can work on and become better at. And looking at the benefits, it is certainly worthwhile doing so.

This article aims to discuss what being thoughtful means, the benefits of being thoughtful, and some tips to help you be a little more thoughtful in life.

What does being thoughtful mean?

There are many definitions out there to describe what it means to be thoughtful. Pretty much every definition of it mentions kindness in some form. This particular definition describes thoughtful as being ‘kind and always thinking about how you can help other people.’

Additional research looked at the semantic analysis of different positive character traits. This research describes the meaning of thoughtfulness as ‘…some kind of thinking about another before one acts’.

When we are being thoughtful it also means we are showing other positive qualities towards others such as:

• Consideration.
• Helpfulness.
• Friendliness.
• Kindness.
• Understanding.

But what makes being thoughtful distinctive from other positive traits, is that it means more than just being nice to someone. Arguably, anyone can be nice on a surface level. But being thoughtful goes a lot deeper.

If you think about it, the very act of being thoughtful means someone has to actively notice people around them, reflect on situations and pay attention to others’ needs. And then they are choosing to respond in a loving and kind way to someone else.

I have a fantastic friend who used to be my colleague at work. And everything she did was extremely thoughtful! She always thought of others before herself and quite honestly, I was in awe of her.

So how thoughtful do you think you are? Does it come naturally to you?

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

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What are the benefits of being thoughtful?

The obvious benefits of being thoughtful are the fact that we can improve our existing and new relationships. Because being thoughtful simply means we are showing that we care.

And for both relationships and friendships to work, this is a particularly important thing to show.

Being thoughtful can also really impact us personally. Interestingly, there is a term coined ‘helpers high’ which explains how helping others makes us feel better and improves our physical and mental health.

The ‘high’ element of the phrase refers to the dopamine rush we experience when we are kind, which is a hormone strongly associated with happiness.

When we are thoughtful towards others the hormone oxytocin is also released in the body. This is known to reduce blood pressure and inflammation, both of which can contribute to serious health conditions.

The production of oxytocin has also been linked to increasing trust in humans. Again, this highlights the positive impact of thoughtfulness in promoting quality social interactions.  

Not only that, but these acts of kindness can boost levels of serotonin. Serotonin is a powerful chemical that is responsible for mood regulation, memory, brain function, and general well-being.

These all seem incredible benefits from just some small, simple acts. And do you ever notice thoughtful people as being unhappy?

I understand this is a complete generalization, but I genuinely believe it must be hard to be unhappy in life if you are thoughtful. Especially when you are continually boosting your body with those feel-good hormones and chemicals.

6 ways to be more thoughtful in life

Read on to find some ways in which you can incorporate a little more thoughtfulness into your life. So, you can start to enjoy better relationships with others and improve your well-being.

1. Take time to listen to others

Sometimes, just listening and giving someone our undivided attention can show a lot of thoughtfulness. I know when someone is listening to what I have to say, it shows they care and that they are concerned in some way.

We are all a little guilty at times of tuning out to others, but it is so important to improve in this area. Listening well also means you pick up on those small bits of information which later down the line can be used in a gesture of kindness.

The other day my daughter received a parcel in the post. As she is only one year old, I opened it for her, and it was an inflatable beach ball. I was racking my brains to think of who sent it. And eventually, I remembered a conversation I had with one of my good friends during a playdate around a week before.

I found that so thoughtful, as she showed she really listened to what I was saying (even if it was a tiny, insignificant piece of information).

2. Try to show small acts of kindness

As I am writing this, my neighbor knocked on my door and offered me an extra fan (we currently have unprecedented hot weather in the UK).

And I thought, how lovely!? Those small acts of kindness bring so much joy to others. It made me feel so happy knowing someone had given the time to think about me.

They are actually our new neighbors, and we have been helping them with bits around their house. And already in a few weeks, a solid friendship is forming.

These gestures don’t need to be grand or fancy. The smaller things that show you have considered someone’s needs can be just as powerful.

3. Consider giving meaningful compliments

Compliments can be a wonderful way of being thoughtful. Especially if they are done in a meaningful way. A flippant ‘your hair looks nice today’ is still nice to hear of course!

But a compliment that shows you have thought about someone’s needs goes a long way. For example: ‘I think you did amazing today, I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.’

And if you are giving a compliment, really try and mean it. Not only can people sometimes see through a lack of genuineness, but it means so much more to that other person when there is some real thought behind it.

Remember that thoughtfulness is more than just being nice for the sake of it.

4. Show your gratitude and thankfulness

When was the last time you sent a handwritten thank you card? Sending some form of thanks to friends and family for something you have received shows your appreciation and thoughtfulness.

When I was younger, I still remember (to this day!) sending a card to my grandma every year to say thank you for my Christmas presents! And I know she loved receiving them. Again, not only is it kind but it shows you care.

5. Try and remember important dates

Although it is important to show thoughtfulness on a day-to-day basis, there are some important dates of the year which should take priority too! If you are someone who forgets things easily, try and make a note of them somewhere to refer to.

These important dates might not just be the usual birthdays, christenings, and weddings, but they might be the date of your friend’s operation or the date they are moving home. And with so much going on in our lives, it is almost impossible to remember all these key events.

But showing you remember these important times in other people’s lives, and you have taken the time to think of them, shows a real level of thought and consideration.

6. Consider slowing down

When we rush around everywhere all the time, we don’t leave any room to reflect.

And to be thoughtful requires quiet times of reflection. It means you have time to step back and recognize what others may need.

It reminds me of when I hear about people’s relationships ending because they are far too busy for each other. When you start to slow down, you can notice more, and take everything in. This allows for thoughtfulness to naturally present itself.

When I have a busy week, I always really recognize my levels of thoughtfulness slip. I am rushing around like a madwoman not leaving time to think about anything else outside my remit.

Do you ever feel the same?

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

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Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

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Wrapping up

Being thoughtful goes far deeper than just being nice to someone. It means we are taking the time out of our lives to think about others. Not only does being thoughtful help us to maintain positive relationships with others, but it can give our bodies a much-needed boost of feel-good chemicals and hormones. Being thoughtful can truly give our lives meaning and help us to feel better about the world around us.

When was your last thoughtful act of kindness? What’s your favorite way to show your thoughtfulness to others? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

The post 6 Ways to be More Thoughtful in Life (and Why It Matters) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Sometimes this feeling of emptiness pops up repeatedly and can affect our mental health and well-being. Or we simply haven’t given ourselves time to delve deeper into why we are feeling this way. But most of the time it can be managed and knowing how to deal with these feelings is a valuable first step in feeling positive and happier.

In this article, I will explore some of the feelings associated with feeling empty, why we may be feeling empty, and some tips to help you feel a little better if you find yourself in this position.

What does feeling empty really mean?

Feeling empty is often associated with a sense of numbness and a feeling of being lost. According to research, it can be described as ‘…a complex, negative emotional state that is experienced in different ways by different individuals.’

Interestingly, researchers themselves have highlighted the difficulty in finding individuals who describe this experience in the same way.

Not only is it quite an abstract phrase, but it represents a wide range of feelings we may be experiencing including:

• Lacking purpose or meaning in life.
• Feeling numb.
• Not actually knowing how you feel.
• Preferring to be alone.
• Feeling neither happy nor sad.
• Lack of motivation.
• Feeling bored or disinterested.
• Feeling disconnected and detached from loved ones.

Unlike other emotions, feeling empty can sometimes be described as simply not feeling any emotion at all.

But even though this may sound strange, emptiness can be classed as an emotion despite perhaps not feeling any. And this knowledge may help you to perceive these feelings as more concrete and visible.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What are some of the causes of feeling empty?

Understanding some of the reasons behind these feelings of emptiness is essential in helping you overcome this emotional state. The only person who truly knows these answers is yourself. This can be complicated as it can be a result of multiple reasons, but it is important to explore.  

Frequently, this feeling comes from events in our lives that are going on around us for example:

• Shifting hormonal levels.
• Loss of a job.
• Loss of someone close to you.
• Other stressful situations.

When I left my teaching job after 10 years, I remember feeling this incredible sense of emptiness. I expected to feel so many different things, but I didn’t expect to feel nothing at all!

Often, a feeling of emptiness can be a natural response to stressful events in our lives. According to experts, feelings of emotional numbness can occur when the limbic system is overloaded with stress hormones. In fact, these feelings may be a key signifier that your body is overloaded, and something needs to change.

But if those feelings of being empty are ongoing or keep presenting themselves for no obvious reason, it can make it more challenging. Causes for this may include things like:

• Not taking the time to look after yourself.
• Past experiences or trauma.
• Losing touch with your goals/aspirations.
• Not having meaningful relationships with others.
• Anxiety or depression.

As with understanding most emotions, understanding the source of why we feel a certain way is central to addressing it. And when we avoid digging deeper, we can often try and overcome these voids by turning our attention to other unhealthy behaviors or habits.

So instead of trying to distract yourself from feelings of emptiness through meaningless tasks or habits, get to the source!

9 ways to help you feel less empty

Read on to look at some of the ways you can avoid feeling the burden of emptiness and discover ways to overcome this negative state of mind.  

1. Accept and embrace those feelings of emptiness

Sometimes the biggest step is recognizing and accepting we feel a certain way.

This is definitely not the time to make yourself feel worse, but a gentle nod to yourself that you feel this way can be extremely powerful. And remember you are experiencing emotions even if you can’t grasp exactly what they are.

2. Explore how you are feeling

Take some time to explore some of the emotions you are currently feeling. You may want to write these down in a daily or weekly journal.

Ask yourself some questions along the way:

• Why might you feel like this today?
• Are you going through a particularly stressful time?
• What specific thing made you unhappy today?

It may help you to piece everything together and make connections.

3. Look after yourself

We can often neglect to look after ourselves in daily life. Reflect on whether you are taking time to care for yourself. Are you managing to sleep and eat well? Try and devote some time just for yourself!

Meditation or journaling can often be good tools to allow yourself some inner space. Here is an entire article about how to focus on yourself.

4. Be kind to yourself

We all need to do this at times. Don’t punish yourself for things you are not doing or how you are feeling. And try not to feel guilty or ashamed.

If anything, compliment yourself on how well you’re doing during this difficult period. Perhaps you could even write down one thing on a weekly/daily basis that you feel you have done well, or you have enjoyed.

Remind yourself of the positives through practicing affirmations, and you’ll notice the benefits. A study in 2016 found that individuals who use self-affirmations had more activation in areas of the brain involved in processing our sense of self and our orientation towards our future.

5. Find comfort in connecting with others

The old saying goes “a problem shared is a problem halved”. It can be difficult to share your feelings with others, even with people close to you. But talking to others can allow you to process how or even why you are feeling the way you are.

The experience of bonding with someone can also trigger that all-important hormone oxytocin which may provide a welcoming relief from that sense of numbness and emptiness you may be feeling.

6. Consider making some life goals

Sometimes when we have goals it can give us a new sense of purpose and motivation. A recent study highlighted key elements that may reduce the intensity of chronic feelings of emptiness which were: vocations, a sense of purpose, and strength of identity.

Arguably having life goals can help in all the above areas. Setting some simple, achievable targets in your life can really help make life feel more meaningful when you are feeling a little lost.  

7. Get moving!

Doing any physical activity may be the last thing on your mind when you are feeling empty, but simply just getting up and out can make a dramatic difference to those feelings.

Even if it involves just getting up and dancing to your favorite song can make you feel more alive! Better yet, get outside and go for a nature walk.

8. Try some grounding exercises

Grounding can be a powerful exercise to engage in when feeling a sense of emptiness.

To be grounded implies a sense of stability and sensibility in all things, but most importantly in our thoughts and emotions. Life often tends to obstruct our ability to stay grounded, mindful, and present. Stressors can include our jobs, friends, families, and sometimes even our own thoughts can get in the way of attaining peace of mind.

There is a range of grounding exercises you can find online. These often focus on breathwork, and it uses your senses to help you feel more sense of awareness. Here’s an article we wrote that details 5 steps to help you stay grounded.

9. Minimize stress in your life

If we go back to this idea of your brain and body being overwhelmed and you are going through some particularly stressful life events, look at how you can minimize stress in your life in some way.

This isn’t always possible or as easy as that, but there may be small changes you can make in your everyday life to help get you in the right direction.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

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Wrapping up

Feeling empty is a complex, negative state which can make us experience a range of different and difficult emotions. Knowing what is really causing those feelings of emptiness is key to getting to the root of the problem.

Do you have another tip that you would like to add? How did you deal with your feelings of emptiness in the past? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

The post 9 Ways to Deal with Feeling Empty (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

If you find it difficult to answer this question, then you will certainly not be the only one. In fact, it isn’t always as straightforward as you may think. But it is an important question. And if we truly know the answers, we can make positive steps towards achieving a more fulfilled and contented life.

In this article, we will explore why knowing what makes us happy is important, the barriers to finding out what makes us happy and some useful tips to help you discover what makes you happy.

The importance of doing what makes you happy

We all know it is important to do what makes us feel happy, and yet we often take ourselves and our own happiness for granted. In a time where we prioritize so many other things over our own mental health, here is a reminder of why being happy has never been so important:

1. It helps you to stay motivated and to ultimately believe in yourself!
2. It will give you increased self-confidence and self-esteem.
3. It can lead to more productivity.
4. It helps you to learn and grow.
5. It improves your physical health.
6. It will improve your relationships with others.
7. It helps you to enjoy life more!

There are easily hundreds of reasons why doing what makes you happy is important. In fact, the list is endless. And honestly? Who doesn’t want to enjoy life more?

How the things that make you happy can change over time

Happiness is defined by Collins dictionary as good fortune, pleasure, contentment and joy. It comes as no surprise then, that the same experiences which used to bring us ‘joy’ and ‘pleasure’ when we were younger no longer bear the same importance.

Our own values and beliefs can also change over time too. A study in 2015 found significant differences in people’s values over a life span. Personally, for me, I value the importance of my physical health and well-being over other areas in my life. As a teenager and young adult? Not so much.

And even how we define happiness can change as we become older according to research. This particular study in 2010 found that younger and older people’s association with happiness was very different, with younger people relating happiness to feelings of excitement.

When we put this into the perspective of how we can find out what makes us happy, it is important that we can recognize our own happiness is far from fixed, rather it is a continuous, evolving state.

It also brings up the question of how happiness means so many different things to different people. This may explain why figuring out what makes us happy can be quite complicated.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What makes you happy now?

If I were to ask you what makes you happy, your answers may be as follows:

• A new job.
• Having loads of money.
• Being slimmer.
• A new car.

This way of thinking can be associated with destination addiction. This is a term coined by British psychologist Robert Holden. It can be described as the belief that happiness can be found in another place or in the future i.e., another job, house, or car. This takes us away from being present and knowing what makes us happy in the here and now.

Who hasn’t had that way of thinking? So, before you begin thinking about what makes you happy. Perhaps think beyond ‘the destination.’

What is it in the here and now that brings you joy and contentment? Being mindful of this attitude (which we are all guilty of!), can pave the way for a unique way of thinking. It may also get you thinking beyond the materialistic aspects we can sometimes focus too much on.

Materialistic thinking and behaviors do not often bring us long-term happiness. It is well-known in the psychology field that people who place a high value on materialistic items have lower levels of life satisfaction.

So, when you begin thinking about what makes you happy, try and search for things that make you feel happy now. It may just be the key to unlocking long-term happiness.

How things that make you happy are sometimes out of your control

This is an interesting thought. When we think about things that make us happy, we often think of activities, experiences, and environments. Things that are being actively directed by ourselves.

Ok, nothing wrong there. But what we don’t always acknowledge is that it’s sometimes the external events in our lives that make us happy. A personal example for me is knowing my son is happy in school or knowing my friend will soon be having her baby.

Sometimes what makes us happy, are things we are not actively pursuing or experiencing directly. Be sure to think of those examples when identifying what makes you happy too.

How some things may fool us into thinking they make us happy

Unfortunately, we have all been there. Sometimes we attach happiness to negative influences, environments, relationships or experiences.

A simple example! Eating a ton of ice cream on the sofa makes me happy. Or does it? Because when I eat loads, I think it is going to make me happy, but then I feel terrible afterward.

So, what things give you a sustained feeling of happiness and joy? Mine certainly doesn’t involve eating lots of ice cream. This is definitely something worth pondering if you’re trying to figure out what really makes you happy.

5 ways to figure out what makes you happy

While you take some time to think about what makes you genuinely happy in life, have a look at some meaningful exercises and tips to make that all-important question easier for you.

1. Make notes on when you feel happy

We are busy people in general and constantly on the go. Has anyone ever asked you what you did today, and you struggle to remember!? (I tend to do this all the time!).

Often, we tend to rush through the day without paying attention to how we felt about certain situations. When you do experience true happiness during various parts of your day or week, keep a diary of those things you observe. It could be as small as sitting down on the sofa with a cup of coffee! If you are a person who likes numbers, you may even want to rate the day out of 100.

(Our Diary tool allows you to do this in the simplest way!).

It may seem quite strange at first but writing these down and seeing your thoughts in words can be enormously powerful. For example, here’s an article that covers how journaling can lead to increased self-awareness!

2. Find patterns in your day

Once you have made different notes on a daily or weekly basis you will begin to get a good idea of the experiences, activities, and environments which make you feel happy. Which is great!

Can you now find any common themes or patterns? Go back and have a look at what you have written. What seems to be coming up more frequently? Is it having quality time with your family or even some personal ‘me’ time? Are there even different times of the day when you tend to feel happier than others? Could the weather even affect how happy you feel?

3. Reflect on those moments of happiness

Time to be truly honest with yourself here. Those moments you wrote down in your notes? Now break this down even further. For example, in my notes, I would put down that having a meal out with my friends makes me feel happy.

But why is this? Is this because I am looking forward to socializing with friends? Or is it because I am getting out of the house to have some peace and quiet from my two lovely, yet very loud children at home? Or is it because I love my food and I want to sample the culinary delights of different restaurants in the local area?

It could very well be all three. Reflecting on these moments can be incredibly powerful and reveal even more information about ourselves that we didn’t even know.

If you want to take it one step further, read our article on how to practice self-reflection and why it’s so important!

4. Explore your drivers

Whilst we are in reflection mode, let’s dig a bit deeper. What drives you in life? What is important to you and what motivates you?

A few years ago, I was making a career change and I couldn’t seem to work out what type of job would make me happy. My friend who happened to be a psychologist and business coach suggested that I complete a logical levels exercise. With this exercise, I had to identify some of my main purposes, values, and beliefs.

This was an invaluable exercise for me. It told me which areas were important in my life and it got me thinking as to what makes me happy.

So, find time to identify your own values and beliefs. If you are struggling with ideas, google a list of values and highlight the ones with which you resonate.

Do these values match up with some of the notes you made in the previous steps? If one of your values is integrity for example, are you surrounding yourself with people that have integrity? Are you drawn to certain people in your life because of this value?

Exploring our own belief system means we find what is important in our lives. And knowing this is another step closer to figuring out what makes us happy.

5. Think about what doesn’t make you happy

It is always easier to think about what we don’t like. This can be an extremely useful exercise but can be difficult too.

We all have had negative life experiences and conflicts in our lives. And it is not always easy to re-live the negative aspects. Sometimes, we might not even want to admit what doesn’t make us happy as we are frightened of facing some big truths.

But doing this really makes everything clearer. What doesn’t make you happy? It is so important to acknowledge this question too.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Thinking about what makes us happy is never as easy as it looks. We all know it’s important to be happy and how happiness brings so many benefits. We also know that happiness is ever-changing in our lives. By using the tips in this article, I hope it brings you more clarity on what makes you happy on a deeper level. Going beyond the materialistic aspects and finding what makes you happy in the present is so important.

So, what genuinely makes you happy? When we can be honest with ourselves and truly know the answers, we can prioritize and surround ourselves with all those amazing things. And in doing that, we can lead a more content and fulfilling life.

Have you figured out what makes you happy? What’s stopping you from doing more of the things that make you happy? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

The post 5 Ways to Find Out What Makes You Happy (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

With intentions, it can be very difficult to not get caught up with the outcome. The nature of the world we live in can also make living intentionally very challenging. But being more intentional has the power to change your mindset and allows for positivity and purpose to flow through your whole being, words, and actions.

In this article, I will focus on the meaning of being intentional, the benefits and some of its barriers, as well as 7 tips that will help you be a little bit more intentional in life.

What does being intentional mean?

An intention is defined as ‘something that you want and plan to do…’.

It can be described as a kind of lifestyle where we actively define our priorities and seek to fulfill them. Put simply, we are taking the time to focus on what is important in our lives and then bringing our attention, focus, and commitment to work on that.

When I first looked into this idea of being more intentional, I presumed that intentions were the same thing as creating goals. Both definitions involve setting aims and focusing on areas to better our lives.

But they are in fact different things. Intentions are grounded in the present moment, lived each day, and rooted in your true values and core beliefs. whereas goals tend to be based on the future.

Unlike goals, intentions don’t involve a specific destination or achievement, and they are very much focused on the journey rather than the destination.

Some examples of intentions could be:

• I intend to make someone happy today.
• I intend to be more mindful today.

Whichever way we look at it, being more intentional ultimately means living with more purpose and carrying out more values-based actions.

What are the benefits of being intentional?

One obvious benefit of being intentional is the fact that we are trying to live authentically. Intentions also tend to be focused on the relationship with yourself rather than external achievements. This makes your daily actions so much more meaningful and in turn, has the power to make you feel happier.

Research supports this theory, showing that daily value-based actions reduced stress and increased wellbeing. A further study found that value-based actions increased participants’ resilience to stressful life events.

When we are intentional in life, it means we are also:

• Creating a new life path.
• Living in the present.
• Taking more control of our lives.
• Creating a more positive mindset.

Psychologist Peter Gollwitzer has completed a lot of research surrounding the concept of implementation intentions. Studies have shown these can be effective in changing our behaviors in order to achieve goals.

What can hold you back from living more intentionally?

It is easy to talk about living intentionally, but it isn’t always an easy thing to do. And it takes a certain amount of practice and dedication.

Here are a few things that may be stopping you from living a more intention focused way of living:

• You find it difficult to commit to things.
• You are not in tune with your true values and core beliefs.
• You live a hectic life and are not focusing on your own needs.
• You feel unworthy of putting yourself first.
• Your past experiences/environments no longer align with your values now which leaves you feeling confused.

Does any of that sound familiar?

Sometimes, we can also get lost and lose our sense of direction with our intentions along the way. But it is always easy to get back on track. And just having an awareness of our own barriers can be useful in our pursuit of a more intentional life.

It takes some work, and like any form of self-improvement, it isn’t a quick and easy process. But one which is certainly worth it in the long run.

5 ways to be more intentional in life

Read on to find some ways to help you live more intentionally so you can start receiving all those lovely benefits!

1. Understand your values and beliefs

Taking the time to understand your values and beliefs is always an important first step to being more intentional.

Start by asking yourself some honest questions:

• What is most important to me in my life?
• What brings me joy, fulfillment, and contentment?
• What does the perfect day look like?

Once you really know these answers, you can get an idea of what is important to you, so you can set the right intentions.

2.  Try and set some intentions regularly

Everyone is different and the thought of setting an intention every day (especially at the beginning) may feel like too much. Instead, start with whatever works well for you.

You may start with setting an intention at the beginning of the week, or you may prefer to set one every day. As you get used to the process, you will soon get into the habit of setting one regularly.

3. Start to infuse intentionality into your everyday life

We are all guilty of doing too much at once. But instead of scrambling around doing as many things as possible, try and commit to where you are and do one thing. This allows you to do everything with more meaning.

When you are carrying out an activity during the day – try and use your senses to fully immerse yourself into the environment. Connect to the reasons why you are doing them, for example:

I am cooking dinner today because I want to create a lovely, nourishing meal for my family.

This forces you to give more purpose to your actions instead of running through your to-do list on autopilot.

4. Make time for yourself

More often than not, we are doing things for others, particularly when we get older and encounter more and more responsibilities.

But keep in mind that being more intentional means doing the things you love doing and that make you happy. Try and commit to the things you enjoy now and somehow balance them with the necessary tasks of the day.

If you are constantly on the go and rushing through everything, it can make living intentionally incredibly challenging. Make sure you also give yourself time to process and practice self-care.

At the end of each day, you could also take time to reflect on how you have tried to create a sense of purpose that day. Go back to your core values and think about any actions you have undertaken which support the values that matter to you.

5. Be aware of limiting beliefs

All of us carry some sort of beliefs about ourselves that are negative, unhelpful, and can hold us back. As difficult as it is, you should try and let go of these limiting beliefs.

When you feel affected by limiting beliefs, you can always take some deep breaths, while trying to connect and focus on your intentions once again and why you are doing them.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Being more intentional in life can have a profound impact on our lives. And while we are often pulled in different directions throughout the day, living intentionally gives us some much-needed clarity and focus in our lives. Intentional living can also improve our well-being, increase our resilience to stress and help us to achieve our longer-term goals.

Do you find it hard to live a life with intentions? What’s your favorite takeaway from this article? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

The post 5 Ways to be More Intentional in Life (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

It isn’t always easy to express gratitude. We are continually presented with others’ lives which can lead us to make comparisons on what we have. Being grateful also goes against our human need to control areas of our life instead of just having acceptance for what it is. But taking the time to have more gratitude can create such a positive impact on our mental well-being and health.

This article will look at the meaning of gratitude, the benefits of being more grateful, how our levels of gratitude change over time, and some tips to help you be more grateful in life.

What does being grateful mean?

One definition of gratitude is that it is ‘…a strong feeling of appreciation to someone or something for what the person has done to help you’.

Professor Robert Emmons who has led extensive research within the field of gratitude goes a bit deeper into the definition. He says that gratitude is made up of two components.

1. We can confirm that there are good things in life, and we have received them.
2. We can recognize that these good things come from different sources outside of our own actions.

This interesting study discusses how gratitude plays a distinctive role in our emotional experiences. And that it differs from other positive traits such as optimism because it involves noticing positive experiences and outcomes (while optimism is directed towards expecting positive experiences and outcomes).

Being grateful also means we are:

• Being thankful.
• Showing kindness (to ourselves or others).
• Focusing our attention on what we appreciate in life.
• Having a positive mindset.
• Being present.
• Paying attention to our emotions.

It is another unique and evolutionary skill we have acquired as humans and is very much a social emotion, which helps us to build robust relationships.

Could you imagine if we as humans didn’t have the ability to show this emotion? I doubt that we would ever want to do things for each other again!

What are the benefits of being grateful?

Whether we are expressing gratitude towards ourselves or to others, being grateful brings many advantages and opportunities to explore a different way of thinking.

To start, gratitude has been found in several studies to be associated with greater happiness. It has also been linked to better well-being and greater life satisfaction.

Being grateful also helps to:

• Strengthen relationships with others.
• Feel more positive.
• Improve our physical health.
• Deal with demanding situations better.
• Lower stress, depression, and anxiety.
• Improve the quality of sleep.

Improving our levels of gratitude can clearly provide us with a host of benefits to our physical health, emotional wellbeing, and relationships. So, it seems well worth investing in this powerful, social emotion.

Do our levels of gratitude change over time?

This recent study found that gratitude does change across the life span, with older adults being found to have the greatest gratitude compared with younger people and middle-aged adults.

Professor Robert Emmons claims there is a trend towards greater emotional positivity with age. The reason behind this is as we get older, the brain becomes less active when presented with negative information. And at the same time, individuals increase their reactivity in response to positive information.

Despite these findings, some studies have found that gratitude does not change over time. Although, this research does suggest (like many other studies), that there are many developmental influences that affect an individual’s level of gratitude in life.

Some examples of developmental influences could be:

• Peer relationships.
• Hereditary or genetic predispositions.
• Parental attitudes.

What seems to be apparent here is there is no obvious answer as to whether gratitude changes over time, but clearly developmental and environmental factors play a huge role in our ability to be grateful.

It may be that having an awareness of potential influences in our life might be useful in our quest for gratitude.

I have personally found being more grateful comes with age. And I think part of that comes from living through different experiences and being able to reflect on situations in life.

I wonder if you have found your levels of gratitude changing as you’ve got older?

5 ways to be more grateful in life

Whether you want to learn how to be more grateful to others or show some more gratitude in your own life (or both!), feel free to check out some of these ideas.

1. Keep a gratitude journal

At first, it can feel quite difficult to suddenly conjure up all the things you are grateful for.

A good way of getting your thoughts down is by keeping a gratitude journal. Every day, try and write down 5 different things you are grateful for.

Remember these can be the smallest of things (the bus wasn’t late today!) or something on a much bigger scale.

Take time to reflect at the end of each day and think of a situation or experience you are grateful for. It may even surprise you what you write down.

2. Change to a more positive way of thinking

Changing our mindset to a more positive one is a valuable first step. Instead of thinking about what you haven’t got in life, focus on what you have got.

I often catch myself doing this when I am in a particularly bad mood. But now that I recognize this, I actively change my way of thinking to make it more positive. It really helps you to feel more grateful too!

Here’s one of our articles about how to change your perspective that will help you focus on the positive more.

3. Practise mindfulness or meditation

Practicing mindfulness and meditation means we are being fully in the present. And when we do this, it means we are not looking for something in the future or the past. It means that we’re just being grateful for where you are now.

It is an immensely powerful exercise and one which is highly recommended. If you want to learn more, here’s a starter on mindfulness and why it’s so important!

4. Appreciate others more

It is all too easy to wrap ourselves up in our own lives. But when we become more aware of other people and their needs and experiences, it can make us feel more grateful for our life and what we have been given.

When someone shows gratitude to me it feels amazing, and I instantly feel happy. So, let’s return the favor to someone else.

Make positive comments to your family and friends around you and show your appreciation more for things people have done for you.

Sometimes we can take those closest to us for granted. If you want to change that, here’s an article about how to be more appreciative of others.

5. Use social media in the right way

If you are tempted to announce on social media something negative or to complain about something, think about using social media to communicate your gratitude.

Stop yourself from expressing something negative, and instead post about something that you are thankful for.

We wrote an article about how to use social media positively, which comes with a lot more benefits to your mental health besides gratitude!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Gratitude is a valuable and essential emotion that fosters our social interactions with others. Not only does it improve our relationships when we are more grateful, but we can enjoy better physical health, life satisfaction, and happiness.

Your levels of gratitude may change over time or even fluctuate depending on your personal circumstances. But making gratitude a priority in your life and bringing yourself back to that is so important. It is all too easy to focus on what we haven’t got in life, but by simply changing this mindset we can develop a much more positive way of thinking. It can influence and transform our outlook in life for the better, helping us to lead happier and more contented lives.

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

The post 5 Ways to be More Grateful in Life (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Some people are naturally more empathetic compared to others. And although the ability to empathize tends to remain steady throughout life, it is far from fixed. In fact, with some effort, we can all train ourselves to be more empathetic. This is great news if you find it more difficult to empathize and would like to improve.

This article aims to look at what empathy really means, the benefits of being empathetic, what might be holding you back from developing this skill, and some top tips to be more empathetic yourself. 

What does being empathetic mean?

One definition of empathy is that it is ‘the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation’.

Essentially, being able to empathize means we are able to understand the feelings, needs, and experiences of other people. 

Because of being empathetic, we are then more likely to be able to display other qualities towards others such as:

• Being understanding.
• Sensitivity.
• Compassion.
• Concern.
• Sympathy.

Something I often got confused with in the past when looking at definitions was the difference between the terms empathy and sympathy.

So, if (like me) you are unsure of this, I have added some clarification.

• Empathy: Understanding someone’s feelings from their perspective and really feeling someone else’s emotions.
• Sympathy: Understanding from your own perspective how someone feels whilst feeling pity or sorry for them.

You can probably see from the definitions that being empathetic goes much deeper than being sympathetic. With empathy, you are immersing yourself in how that person must feel, going beyond the surface level.

And when we do this, we are:

• Actively listening.
• Practicing non-judgment.
• Feeling the emotions of others.
• Recognizing someone’s feelings.
• Discovering the perspective of others.

So perhaps next time you are in a situation with another person where you want to offer some comfort, try some actions relating to empathy rather than sympathy!

What are the benefits of being more empathetic?

Not only does being empathetic mean that we can show care and consideration to others, but it also brings a wealth of other benefits such as:

• You can develop stronger and more trusting relationships with others.
• Better wellbeing overall.
• Improved emotional intelligence.
• Better communication skills.

This is all backed up by a wealth of studies that have investigated the impact of empathy on our health, development, and behavior.

Past research has even shown that empathy can support people in adopting more positive attitudes towards stigmatized groups i.e. homeless people. A further study found that when parole officers were more empathetic with adult offenders, it reduced their risk of reconviction.

I think what we can really take from this is that empathy is an extremely powerful and valuable skill. And the impact you can have on others is phenomenal. We have such an amazing superpower in our hands should we choose to use it. 

What is holding you back from being more empathetic?

Studies show individuals find being empathetic towards people of their own social groups easier. It is why we developed the ability to empathize in the first place, to survive. 

Whilst this is great, it means we tend to generate natural biases towards other groups. Which in turn, can hold us back from being empathetic towards a wider range of people. Being aware of this is crucial if we want to be more empathetic in general. 

There are also other reasons which could be preventing you from being more empathetic which may be:

• You have a more rigid way of thinking and find it difficult to change your views (which is also a sign you lack self-awareness).
• You socialize with the same types of people who hold similar lifestyles, beliefs, and cultural values to you.
• Your past experiences growing up have shaped your levels of empathy.
• You find it difficult to get in touch with your own and others’ emotions.

Despite many obstacles preventing us from being able to empathize more, just having an awareness of these can help us to address them and make changes.

7 ways to be more empathetic

Take a look at some of the different ways you can develop your empathy levels and start connecting with others on a much deeper level. 

1. Take some time to reflect

As humans, we all hold biases. And a good place to start is by doing some inward reflection. Look for patterns or reasons why you hold certain beliefs about specific groups, experiences, or situations. Analyze situations you have been in before where you have felt it difficult to empathise. 

Why did you feel like it was hard to connect and understand in this particular situation?

2. Try perspective-taking

Perspective-taking is often seen as the ‘precursor’ to empathic concern. Literally taking the perspective of another person is key to increasing empathy levels and the first step towards being empathetic.

Take time in situations to imagine someone else’s point of view and be respectful of that. It stops us from being judgmental and is a powerful exercise.

3. Be curious

Young children are particularly good at being curious. My four-year-old son is no exception. On a daily basis, he will continuously ask me questions about anything and everything (it always surprises him greatly when I don’t always know the answer to them, how am I supposed to know whether the person walking in front of us owns a cat!?).

But on a serious note, we sadly tend to lose the same curiosity as adults. But by being curious, we are exposing ourselves to different people, their views, and lifestyles. We can then start to open ourselves up to others and our way of thinking.

One way of doing this is to follow people on social media with a different background than you. Or inviting someone for lunch who you wouldn’t normally socialize with. Or in a conversation with a colleague, ask some questions rather than shutting the conversation down with a sympathetic comment. 

4. Focus on similarities rather than differences

Actively trying to find similarities between yourself and others rather than differences really helps us understand others’ unique qualities and individuality.

Think of this as practicing positive thinking. Instead of looking for the negative, find the positive.

5. Practise active listening

Being able to listen is a real skill. Particularly today when our concentration spans can be lacking. Active listening goes beyond just ‘listening’ as it involves skills such as using positive body language, asking open-ended questions, and avoiding giving advice too quickly.

For more tips, here’s a detailed article on how to be a better listener.

6. Be open to changing your attitudes and beliefs

If you are someone who is always adamant that their views are correct all the time, it will make it very difficult to develop empathy. Changing that mindset first is particularly important. Don’t make assumptions about others and be open to changing your views and beliefs.

This comes down to having an open mindset. Here’s an article that will help you develop an open mindset.

7. Connect with wider groups of people

Don’t just reserve that empathy for people in your immediate social or work circle. Get out there and be part of the wider community and see your empathy levels increase for others.

This could be through charity groups or community projects. Just talking to a new person is a great start! Expose yourself to those differences and widen that perspective.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

There may be different things holding you back from being empathetic, but if you take the time to recognize these and make small adjustments, you can make big differences to your levels of empathy. I hope you can all find ways to be more empathetic in your everyday life. For if we choose to invest in this skill, we have the power to transform the world and build a brighter, more stable future. It is something we all really need now.

What’s your favorite strategy to be more emphatetic? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

The post 7 Ways to be More Empathetic in Your Relationships (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

You may feel like your best self is a world away from where you are now. You may even feel like you wouldn’t even recognize what your best self looks like! But by taking charge of this now and with small steps, you can get closer to that version of yourself that you really want to be. And ultimately, live a life where you feel happy and fulfilled.

In this article, I will explore what being your best self means, why being your best self is important for your well-being, types of motivation, and some ways in which to achieve that best version of yourself.

What does being your best self really mean?

When we talk about being our best self, we are essentially talking about being the best version of ourselves. And to achieve that involves going on a journey of self-improvement. So, we can optimize different areas of our lives for the better.

We can therefore continue to grow as individuals, focus on goals, and develop a positive way of thinking.

It is a process that is deeply personal to you and not a fixed state. To be our best self involves evolving and continually changing.

It is important to recognize that it doesn’t mean we need to ‘win’ in all areas of our lives. And it is impossible to achieve perfection all the time of course. But being your best self means you are simply taking more control of your life, by taking the driving seat and creating a future for yourself that you really want.

Where do you feel you are in terms of being the best version of yourself?

Why is it important to try and be your best self?

Trying to be your best self means you are continually trying to develop and learn. It also means you are taking time to:

• Reflect.
• Set goals.
• Focus on healthy habits.
• Try new things.
• Find your strengths.
• Think positively.

There is a lot of talk in the psychology field about the process of ‘best self-activation’. This term can be described as the conscious effort to think quite literally the best of yourself through activating mental representations of your best self.

This process involves reflecting on situations and finding your best attributes. And it is often discussed in studies alongside work performance.

Interestingly, a lot of research out there suggests that best-self activation can improve areas of a person’s cognitive functioning, physiology, and emotions. And because of feeling better about ourselves, we become more resilient to stress and enjoy better relationships with others.

So perhaps, just thinking about our best self and attributes alone can help start us on the right path to our best self.

Not only are we taking time to reflect, but it gets us on the right road of positive thinking and a new sense of confidence. And we can receive benefits to our well-being too.

How having the right type of motivation is important

So why exactly do you want to be your best self? Knowing your motivation and reasons why you are making efforts towards self-improvement are important.

There tend to be two types of motivation: Intrinsic and Extrinsic.

• Intrinsic motivation relates to the motivation to do something for the personal reward and enjoyment you get out of it. For example, you might want to get a new job so you can feel happier and less stressed.
• Extrinsic motivation relates to the motivation to do something to achieve an outside goal, receive a reward, or avoid punishment. For example, you might want to get a new job so you can have loads of money and look good to others.

We know from a wealth of studies that intrinsic motivation is seen as a more effective approach to improving our performance as it tends to generate more long-lasting and authentic changes in our behavior.

If we are truthful, we all have extrinsic elements motivating us for whatever reason in life. And this is natural.

But moving forward, ensuring you are motivated for the right reasons is something worth thinking about when continuing your journey.

11 ways to help you find your best self

Keep reading below to find the top eleven powerful ways to help you be your best, most amazing self.

1. Visualize your best self

To start, a useful way of knowing who you truly want to be is by taking the time to visualize what your best self looks like. What do you do daily? What do you eat? How do you interact with others? There are many questions that you can ask yourself to get those ideas flowing.

2. Find and set goals

If you did the visualization, you may start being able to see some obvious goals which you would like to achieve. Finding goals is a step in the right direction to finding your best self as you can identify your aspirations and overall purpose in life.

This also allows you to take charge of what you really want out of life and to find out what makes you happy.

Here’s an article that will help you create and keep track of your goals.

3. Discover the things which are holding you back

Ask yourself the question ‘What is stopping you from living your best life?’.

Can you pinpoint what is limiting you? It may be negative habits, attitudes, or unhealthy relationships. Finding out what is holding you back can help you to become the person you want to be by making positive changes.

4. Create healthy habits

Once you have found the areas in your life which are holding you back, look at how you can change or develop these into healthier habits. If you are not looking after yourself mentally and physically, you cannot expect to be your best.

Try and find ways to improve your daily habits by making sure you get enough rest, and exercise, and you are eating healthily. Spend your time wisely!

If you want some inspiration, here are 7 mental health habits that you can use to upgrade your life.

5. Find your strengths

Try to put into action some best-self activation! List or note down some things you love about yourself, or things you have done or achieved that you are proud of. If you’re not big on positive affirmations, this article might change your mind.

By doing this we can create a positive mindset and hopefully trigger some cognitive and physiological benefits. So find out what your strengths are and write them down! If you need any help, here is an article of ours that will help you find your strengths.

6. Take up new challenges

We all feel safe and secure in our comfort zone. But by pushing ourselves that little bit more and taking on new challenges, we can receive so many benefits (I am very guilty of not wanting to do this!).

It also gives us the confidence in knowing we can do something new that we might not have expected. Go on, surprise yourself!

7. Find the support from others

It is so motivating to have support from family and close friends around us. You might even want to share some of the goals you have so you can get some words of encouragement. It can also be useful if you are trying to develop new and healthier habits to have other people on board.

8. Celebrate yourself

We are all impatient on this road to self-discovery, but you must celebrate the little wins in your life. It might be that you have taken up a hobby that is deeply personal to you or re-connected with someone who means a lot to you. This needs to be celebrated!

Be proud of your accomplishments, and don’t let anyone give you the idea that you are not good enough.

9. Have a positive influence on others

Although we are talking about ourselves here, it is important to not forget how rewarding it can be in our lives to help others. Look at some ways you can make a difference to others and watch how it can transform your sense of self too.

If you want to be more supportive, here’s one of our articles that will help you out. Or if you’re just looking to make someone else happy, we got you covered too.

10. Start to think more positively

We all have negative stories or scripts we tell ourselves. We will never be this…because we are like this. These are known as limiting beliefs.

Instead, find a positive thought to replace the negative and begin a new way of thinking. You may even prefer to start the day with some positive affirmations.

11. Be realistic

Being your best self is an ever-changing process. Not only do our needs alter over time, but we all experience life’s ups and downs. Remember you are not on a journey to perfection so be mindful of that and lower those expectations!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Being your best self involves a long journey of self-discovery which is constantly evolving. These changes certainly don’t happen overnight but with some small alterations to our daily life, we can make big steps towards finding our best selves.

Life can throw at us different stresses and pressures but if we accept this is a bumpy road, we can embrace these challenges and learn from overcoming them. I hope you feel motivated to start the journey to your best self so you can live the life you have always wanted.

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

The post 11 Ways to be Your Best Self Every Single Day (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Sometimes, the most difficult thing with finding life goals is knowing what you really want to achieve in life. Our ideas can be vague, or we just don’t know where to start in finding them. But having realistic and purposeful life goals can give us a fresh sense of perspective and, more importantly, help us lead a happier and more contented life.

The following article will discuss what life goals are, why they are important to have, some things to think about when choosing your goals and how you can find your own life goals.

What are life goals?

According to Nair (2003), a life goal can be described as follows:

Life goals are desired states that people seek to obtain maintain or avoid.

To put simply, these goals are things we want to attain or accomplish in our lives and tend to be more meaningful and related to our authentic selves.

Putting these ideas into context, here are some general examples of different life goals:

• Travel the world.
• Get promoted.
• Create my own business.
• Master a language.
• Read once a day.
• Give back to others.
• Exercise regularly.

As you can see from the list, life goals have such a broad scope. They can be associated with relationships, careers, finances, fitness, or health for example. Life goals can also be quite abstract, for example, to find inner peace or become an inspiration to others.

The important thing to remember here is that there is no correct answer. These are deeply personal goals to you and can touch on any of the areas mentioned above.

You may also have multiple life goals. But try not to have too many, as it can take away the importance of your real underlying wants and aspirations.

One of my overarching life goals is to reduce stress in my life. It has kind of been my mantra recently, and I use it as a driver for other areas in my life.

How finding life goals can make you happier

Life goals have often been linked to happiness and subjective well-being. Overall, life goals can be associated with an array of benefits including:

• Improved mental health.
• More motivation.
• Feelings of happiness.
• Increased sense of purpose.
• Better physical health.

This list is endless. Even the process of writing about life goals has been shown to increase mood and wellbeing.

With the wealth of studies that support the benefits of finding life goals, clearly taking the time to think about these goals is important in our lives. It is extremely easy to get caught up in the day to day living and forget what we really value and need in life.  

Things to consider when choosing your life goals

Life goals can be extremely broad. But generally speaking, life goals can be divided into two types:

• Goals that relate to things that make you feel good internally such as emotional wellness and self-worth.
• Goals that relate to things such as appearance, financial success, or recognition.

The reason it is important to define these two types is that intrinsic goals tend to be associated with more happiness and a greater sense of well-being.

A study in 2001 found that extrinsic goals were associated with lower self-esteem and quality of relationships with friends and partners. This can be unsurprising, given that extrinsic goals are related to a more materialistic and superficial way of thinking.

As such, life goals would be more beneficial if they are intrinsic.

This isn’t to say that we can’t also benefit from extrinsic life goals. Setting a goal of being better off financially doesn’t have to be negative. Who doesn’t want to have more money and live comfortably? Just make sure it is for the right reasons such as to support my family rather than to receive recognition from others.

8 ways to help you find your life goals

If you would like some support in finding those all-important goals, have a look at some of the ideas below.

1. Create a goal planner

If you are finding the process all very confusing, try and organize your thoughts and ideas by splitting your goals into different areas:

• Relationship.
• Career.
• Finances.
• Fitness.
• Health.
• Love.
• Family.
• Making the world a better place.

You may like to create a goal for each or use it as a way of finding which area is the most important to you. You may even find that there is another area you wish to focus your goal upon.

2. Brainstorm about your potential life goals

Now that you have the different areas of life goals, brainstorm things you would like to either do, feel, or experience. Try and think of as many different ideas which pop into your head.

You can even try using these different sentence starters to help give you some ideas:

• I want to be…
• I want to give…
• I want to learn…
• I want to have…

3. Identify whether these goals are extrinsic or intrinsic

To get the full benefits from your life goals, go back to the idea of intrinsic vs. extrinsic life goals. Look at the different ideas you have brainstormed and reflect on whether these are focusing on surface-level aspects.

If they do, try to think about how you can make these intrinsic. As we discussed, intrinsic life goals are more likely to actually make you happier down the line.

4. Frame your life goals as a positive

Try and set positive targets rather than goals to avoid. Not only are they easier to read, but they also tend to state a specific action, so it makes your intention clearer.

For example, instead of saying “I don’t want to have unhealthy relationships anymore”.

Frame it as “I want to enjoy positive, healthy relationships with others”.

5. Make sure they are realistic

We often make New Year resolutions that are unattainable that set us up to fail. Make sure your life goals are more realistic.

For example, my friend once said his life goal was to travel to 10 different places every year. While this sounds amazing, this would be a struggle for most people unless traveling is a part of your job.

If you want to actually complete your life goals, you want to make sure that they are attainable and realistic!

6. Think of some actions you could do to reach your life goals

It is great to see a well-thought-out life goal sitting on your page or computer screen. The next step is to start thinking about what steps you need to take to achieve your goal. These are often known as objectives.

These can be micro-steps at first, just to keep you motivated and positive!

For example, one of my life goals is to make time for myself.

Some of the actions I can take to achieve this goal would be to exercise once per week, go for a walk in nature alone, keep 20 minutes to myself in my calendar every day, or simply meditate for 10 minutes at the end of each day.

Doing this really helps you to make that life goal more of a reality rather than just a dream!

7. Try and involve other people

To help make achieving your goals successful, try and share your purpose with others. Getting other people on board can help you to achieve them and get some well-needed motivation.

This tip is also included in our article on how to stay on track with your goals.

Telling others about your goals can help you to feel more motivated and accountable to achieve them.

In fact, research shows that those who set goals and reported them to their supportive peers were 40% more likely to achieve them, compared to those who kept their goals to themselves.

8. Understand that your life goals may change

Your life goals are not fixed and can be altered at any time. Don’t be afraid to change your goals if they are not working for you. And don’t see it as a failure, see it as a positive that you have recognized this and done something about it!

As discussed in another article, your life purpose can change too.

When this happens, you should go back through your list of goals and reflect on them. Are they still working for you? Could you change them in any way? Or could you be doing any more to achieve them?

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

Wrapping up

Having life goals can give us a new sense of purpose and meaning in our lives. It can motivate us to create new, improved behaviors which bring us happiness and joy. But finding the right life goals that meet our core needs can be difficult and frustrating. I hope the tips in this article help you to navigate your way around finding your life goals, so you can shape the direction of your life in a positive, fulfilling way.

What are some of your life goals? Do you find it hard to determine what your goals in life are? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

The post 8 Tips to Find Your Life Goals (and How it Will Make You Happier) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

For some individuals, being social comes effortlessly. But for others, being social can take work and effort. You may even be someone who deliberately avoids social situations. But being social brings huge benefits to our lives by allowing us to enjoy positive experiences with others.

In this article, we are going to discuss what being social means, the advantages of being social, why being social can feel difficult and some ways to support you in being that little bit more social.

What does being social really mean?

Being ‘social’ can refer to different things in different contexts. But according to definitions being social can be associated with:

• Being friendly.
• Being companionable.
• Living as a community.
• Getting on well with others.
• Enjoying the company of others.
• Being neighbourly.

On its own, being social can be described as “… leisure activities that involve meeting other people”.

This definition would be how most people relate to the concept of being social.

Where do you feel you are in terms of being social?

How being more social can make you feel happier

Our brains are wired to be social in more ways than we realize. Most of us have this innate ability to read others, developed control of our impulses and many other skills to support our ability to interact and harmonize with others.

Dr. Lieberman spent years researching within the field of social neuroscience, and argues that forming relationships and socializing with others is more fundamental than our need for food and shelter.

This seemed an incredible statement when I first read his work!

We only need to reflect on the recent pandemic and the effect this had on people’s mental health to realize the importance of human interaction. Many studies have examined the effects of social isolation during COVID and found individuals to have experienced symptoms such as panic, anxiety and depressive symptoms.

These are obviously examples of more extreme effects of social isolation. But it is well known in the psychology world that social relationships are predictors of happiness.

Psychologist Susan Pinker has talked extensively about how person-to-person contact can alleviate our stress levels, through the release of oxytocin and dopamine. Even if it is through a small gesture, like a high five or handshake.

Have you ever experienced this yourself? I know when I have met a friend for a coffee, or even had a nice, unexpected conversation with a stranger, it leaves me feeling energetic, positive, and happy.

Research has also raised the importance of the quality of relationships individuals have, and how this can be significant in looking at the effects of happiness.

So, there are clearly many benefits to being social and having relationships with others. We can experience greater levels of happiness, support our nervous system, and improve our health. But what also seems important is the quality of these interactions.

Perhaps we don’t necessarily need to form multiple relationships with many people to be social. This may be a relief to hear if you are not particularly social yourself.

Some people thrive on having lots of social contacts and again it comes down to all of us being different and having differing needs.

Why being social can feel challenging

So, if our brains are fired up to allow these social interactions to form it should be easy to be social right? Unfortunately, it doesn’t always feel like that.

First of all, we are all wired very differently. Other factors which may make being social feel difficult could be:

• Your genetic make-up. Having Autism can make social situations more challenging.
• Your mood. Changes in mood can affect how you feel towards others.
• Your personality. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert.
• Past experiences. Could influence how you want to spend your time with others.
• Current lifestyle or situation. Going through a difficult financial or family-related situation for example.
• Age. Like lots of things, our need to socialize can change with age and can sometimes make it more difficult.

Being aware of some of these key differences in ourselves can help us to understand what may be influencing our ability to be social.

And therefore, knowing these may help you to be more social in a way that works for you individually.

8 ways to help you be more social

If you would like a little help in finding some ways to be more social in your life, read on to find some useful tips.

1. Understand your motivation for being more social

I cannot stress how important this is to look at first. Why do you want to be more social? What parts of being social mean the most to you. You shouldn’t be changing yourself to abide by others’ expectations.

It is also important to remember that you are you.

2. Understand your personality

Start by looking at your own personality. What personality traits do you have? This is an important thing to know about yourself.

Naturally, you may be more introverted and although you seek social interactions, you also like time to yourself also.

You may even be an extrovert who craves a lot of social interaction, but you find it difficult to connect with others due to a variety of reasons.

Knowing this is extremely valuable in knowing what you really want to get out of being social. It also ensures you can have the type of quality relationships you really desire and need.

3. Know your challenges

Again, this is important in knowing how to approach social situations. Ask yourself what you find challenging. Do you hate large groups of people? Do you find it difficult to start conversations?

By knowing our own challenges, we can work to improve them or alter our behavior.

For example, I tend to find large groups overwhelming. And therefore, I tend to avoid these social situations if possible and arrange smaller gatherings.

4. Use your interests to get involved with others

If you are really struggling with where to start in being more social, then try the following. Identify your main interests and hobbies as a way of finding like-minded individuals to socialize with.

This also ensures that immediately you have something in common with others and have lots to talk about.

Try and look for activities in which you must actively communicate and interact with each other i.e., a book club. Not just a fitness club where sometimes it can be difficult to strike up a conversation.

You could also join local Facebook groups or worldwide groups about one of your particular interests.

5. Schedule monthly get-togethers

When I don’t book a yoga class, I will never go. So when I sign myself up there is no excuse!

Similarly, with meeting others, set regular dates you can meet people that are in the calendar.

If you always end up avoiding this, try to set aside some time each week to contact friends and family and schedule in those dates!

6. Start-up conversations

I am certainly not the most outgoing of people. But it is amazing how good we can feel when we make small talk with people around us. Remember those feel-good chemicals we can create in our bodies?

Providing you are comfortable doing so, strike up a conversation or even make a comment about the weather to a neighbor or someone you never talk to. It is amazing what response you may get. Maybe even give a compliment to someone at the school drop-off or class you go to.

7. Smile!

Okay, we know we can’t go around with a beaming smile on our faces all of the time, but we can make more of an effort to! Smiling itself makes you feel better and releases all those feel-good hormones.

You will look a lot more approachable too!

But did you know that your smile can actually spread to others? That’s how happiness can spread and make everyone around you – including yourself – happier.

If you’re interested in more, here are 25 ways to make someone else happy.

8. Find a balance

Depending on your personality, don’t overly force yourself to have a busy social life. This can feel very overwhelming and you may then regret it. Having time for yourself is especially important too.

Regardless of what some studies say, you can be happy on your own as well. You don’t necessarily need the contacts of others, it just makes it easier. But if you’re craving some alone time, here’s an article that explains how you can be happier alone.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

We all desire to make a connection with others and yet it can often feel difficult. But we know that having quality relationships and positive interactions with others can make us feel happier and even improve our physical health.

The idea of being social can conjure up images of having lots of friends, having a crazy social calendar, and being extroverted. But being social and receiving the benefits of this is in having quality relationships and interactions. It is also about being yourself. Accept who you are and how you like to interact with people. We are all different and living with different challenges. I hope some of these ideas from the article can support you in being more social, in terms of quality, not quantity.

What do you think? Have you made any progress lately to become more social? What’s a tip that you would like to share with others? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

The post 8 Steps to be More Social (Even When you Hate Socializing) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

It also isn’t always easy to be understanding of others. Sometimes (if we are honest) it can feel incredibly challenging and frustrating. But being more understanding can enhance our existing relationships with others and help us to build new ones. Perhaps we can all learn something from being more understanding?

This article will focus on what being understanding really means and the benefits, how we can overcome difficulties associated with being understanding and some useful tips to help make yourself more understanding towards others.

What does being understanding really mean?

To be understanding is a broad term we often use in everyday conversation and depending on the context can mean different things. If you were to ask one hundred different people what understanding means, there would likely be a variety of answers.

But what does it mean to you?

When ‘understanding’ is used as a term to describe a person it appears from different definitions that understanding people are:

• Sympathetic.
• Accepting of others.
• Tolerant.
• Empathetic.
• Able to forgive.
• Aware of others’ feelings.
• Able to see things from different perspectives.

That seems an incredible set of skills for one word. Naturally, you may look at this list and rate yourself on how well you can do some of these things. Some you may even feel you can do better than others.

Maybe (like me!) depending on the person or situation, you have varying levels of sympathy or empathy. Which of course is completely natural and normal.

When we look at being understanding in relation to interactions, it can be defined as: “…a feeling of kindness and caring based on knowledge, esp. of the causes of behavior”.

So, what is clear when we look at the meaning behind understanding is that it firstly involves a host of qualities. But it also highlights how making assumptions based on limited facts can harm our ability to understand others.

Why being understanding is so important

We can already see that being understanding means we are actively being kind, tolerant and sympathetic towards others which is great for our relationships. Logically, you may already see the benefits this might bring to your relations with others.

But how does it feel to be understood yourself? Understanding this may improve our motivation to make others feel the same way.

Being understood by others can make us feel:

• Valued and accepted.
• Part of a community or group.
• A sense of belonging.
• We have confirmation of our own identity.

In fact, many studies have confirmed the importance of being understood by others and the positive impact this can have on our personal well-being and relationships. A further study in 2008 found that people who rated highly in feeling understood during their daily experiences were shown to feel happier.

Therefore, being understanding can bring more life satisfaction and happiness to others. And when we receive this understanding ourselves, it can feel even better.

How you can overcome the challenges associated with being understanding

Interestingly, when we look at the set of qualities that comes with being understanding, they can often be seen as weaknesses.  

Sometimes we can feel frustrated when we have shown a level of understanding to someone who is unappreciative. Or that person does not reciprocate the same level of understanding to you. It can often leave us feeling exposed and weak. Again, this is completely understandable.

But demonstrating some of the qualities that show understanding can actually make us feel happier and more content.

A recent longitudinal study carried out in 2019 found that people who had a compassionate disposition (meaning the ability to show concern and sympathy for others’ misfortunes) displayed both better mental and physical health over a lifespan.

So, despite how hard it can be, being understanding really does make us happier and healthier people. That is always something to remember during challenging times.

Of course, this is all very well, but it still doesn’t take away the fact that being understanding towards certain people and situations is difficult. We all have different values, experiences, and identities.

So perhaps having an awareness of our own understanding can help in this instance. And keeping a balance. There may be some situations in which we have been extremely understanding. But it needs to work both ways.

6 tips to help you be more understanding

If you sometimes find it difficult to be understanding towards others and would like to explore this further, have a look at some of these actionable tips.

1. Try perspective-taking

Perspective-taking literally means putting yourself in another person’s shoes. So, for example, when your partner is perhaps in a bad mood due to work commitments, instead of immediately being annoyed at their responses, try thinking of how you would feel in their situation. Would you also feel stressed and irritable?

As a former teacher working with children from vulnerable backgrounds, I became very good at this. Most of the students had extreme behavioral issues and poor behavior in class.

I really developed my understanding of these particular pupils when I thought about what they may have experienced or seen before arriving at school. How would I feel and behave in the same situation? Very similarly I would imagine.

Practicing perspective-taking can soon become part of your everyday thought process, and you can apply it to a range of situations.

2. Don’t make judgements too quickly

We are all extremely good at this. Making rash and ill-formed judgments based on pure assumption. Judging others is a simple (but short-term) way of making ourselves feel better. But it doesn’t help you be more understanding.

So, to be more understanding, try and have an open perspective about others. Try to practice non-judgment. Over the years I have really had to force myself to develop this skill. Literally, stop yourself and that mental narrative that forms automatically, or at least, do not act on it.

Have you ever walked down the street and said ‘Good morning’ to someone, and they have responded in a way like you never imagined? People can always surprise you (in a good way!).

3. Listen and listen some more

Some people are fantastic listeners. Some not so much.

At times, people just want to feel heard. Just listening to someone without passing comments or judgment can be extremely supportive.

Again, by listening, we can build our knowledge on a particular situation first which as we have seen is an essential part of being understanding.

Here’s an entire article devoted to how to be a better listener.

4. Ask genuine questions

Whilst listening is an important skill, by asking questions we can show people how well we can listen and help people feel heard.

To show someone we are really listening, ask some meaningful questions. When I say meaningful, make the questions relatable and with non-judgment attached.

5. Understand yourself

This is probably one of the most difficult things to do. But look at yourself and why you are finding it hard to be understanding of a particular situation. Look again at your own values and experiences and why you may be struggling with this.

A good example of this is of a person who I know who was undergoing grueling IVF. She said she found it incredibly difficult to then understand how some parents could ever give up their children for adoption.

See how your own past can cloud your ability to understand certain situations? We all do it, often subconsciously. Being aware of this may open your awareness of others and their situations.

6. Remembering we are not perfect

This is not one we want to hear… But we aren’t perfect. We all make mistakes as we go through life, and we all have to learn from them. Sometimes we need to be a little bit kinder to others and ourselves of course.

Nobody is perfect, but that doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. Everybody is deserving of happiness.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Being understanding is one word to describe many qualities. It can be challenging at times, but it can also broaden our perspectives in life and improve the quality of our relationships. So, what happens when you have more understanding of others? We can ultimately be happier individuals and enjoy a more contented life. Perhaps if we all took this outlook, we could all contribute to making the world a happier and more tolerant place.

Do you consider yourself to be an understanding person? Do you often find it hard to understand someone else’s point of view? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

The post 6 Tips to Help You be More Understanding (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.