Toddlers and teenagers both experience difficulty managing their emotions, but they struggle for different reasons. Developmentally, toddlers are too young to communicate their wants and needs. They also lack the reasoning skills necessary to cope with negative feelings. Teenagers have a broader vocabulary and a stronger sense of logic, but they must endure the horror of all horrors: puberty. And its accompanying mood swings.

In this article, I will articulate what it means to be emotionally stable, unpack its importance, and share 7 tips to assist you on your road to emotional stability.

What does it mean to be “emotionally stable”?

Being emotionally stable might seem like a self-explanatory term, but it’s actually rather nuanced.

According to the American Psychological Association, emotional stability is defined as “predictability and consistency in emotional reactions, with absence of rapid mood changes.”

Being emotionally stable doesn’t mean you never feel anything – or that you are always content. It just means that when you do find yourself in emotionally challenging situations, you respond in a reasonable, expected way while maintaining a sense of composure.

In other words, you keep it cool. Even if you are deeply affected by something, you don’t allow your emotions to solely dictate your thoughts and behavior; logic has a place in determining them, too.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

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The importance of emotional stability

One of the most significant benefits of emotional stability is that it paves the way for a person’s independence. Emotionally stable people tend to have a balanced way of perceiving life’s problems, equipping them with the perspective they need to endure all sorts of hardship. Emotionally erratic people, on the other hand, struggle to maintain equilibrium to such an extent that they have difficulty accomplishing ordinary tasks. They often require assistance in situations where emotionally stable adults would not.

A person’s level of emotional stability plays a huge role in their ability to maintain interpersonal relationships. Emotionally stable people tend to be secure, confident, and even-tempered. Generally, they also exhibit a positive demeanor and get along well with others. These traits are imperative to the health of any relationship – personal or professional.

7 tips to become emotionally stable

Because a person’s emotional stability is subjective, it’s difficult to measure and remediate (if necessary). The approach may look slightly different for everyone, but if you don’t know where to start, consider experimenting with the tips below:

1. Allow yourself to feel 

In order to become emotionally stable, you must first allow yourself to feel. It’s tempting to compartmentalize negative emotions to avoid experiencing pain.

However, studies show that suppressing emotions has a negative impact on overall well-being. Furthermore, problems can never truly be addressed unless you are first willing to acknowledge that something is wrong.

Allowing yourself to feel doesn’t have to be a miserable affair. There are a variety of pleasant activities you can do to check in with yourself, including the ones listed below:

• Ensure your schedule includes alone time.
• Enjoy a solo meal at your favorite restaurant.
• Keep a journal.
• Take a tech-free walk.
• Talk through difficult feelings with someone you trust.
• Visit a quiet, peaceful, (and relatively private) place where you can think. I recommend botanical gardens, a park, a free museum, or a coffee shop.

Carving out time and space for you to access your emotions is a vital first step on the journey to emotional stability.

2. Reflect on your emotions

Giving yourself permission to feel is a good start, but reflecting on your emotions is where change actually begins. Being able to name your emotions and ask questions to uncover their source will provide you with valuable insight. You may discover that you need to take action, have a conversation, or redirect your thought patterns based on what you learn.

Consider these questions after experiencing an uncomfortable emotional response:

• What specific emotion am I feeling right now?
• What might be the underlying reason for this emotion?
• Is a belief or value of mine being challenged?
• Does this situation remind me of something I’ve experienced before?
• What can I do to better cope with this emotion or situation if it arises again in the future?

Expressing curiosity – instead of shame – is a healthy, constructive way to process intense emotions and work toward greater stability in the future.

If you’re not convinced about self-reflection, here’s an article that dives into more benefits of self-reflection!

3. Focus on physical sensations 

It’s impossible to be emotionally stable when your body is physically wound up. For this reason, it’s important to focus on regulating your physical sensations when experiencing emotional turbulence.

A quick, easy way to physically recalibrate yourself is to perform a body scan. Body scanning is a form of mindfulness. Essentially, you focus on different parts of the body one at a time, acknowledge tension or pain as it arises, and breathe through it to release. For further explanation and research regarding the positive effect of body scanning on mental health, check out this article.

When I was a kid, I attended acting camp every summer. Almost two decades later, and I still remember how our director used to guide us through a communal scan before each show. We would lie there on the stage, silent, in complete darkness, and wait for her to draw our attention from one body part to another. This practice seemed so strange to me at the time, but even so, I know the reason why this memory has stuck with me for so long: Body scanning was extremely effective in calming my nerves!

Taking deep breaths is also scientifically proven to stabilize the body. When our bodies experience “fight or flight,” the pH level of our blood increases, and we are flooded with stress hormones. Deep breathing reduces blood pressure and calms the nervous system, allowing us to return to a more emotionally stable place.

4. Set boundaries 

Setting boundaries can significantly increase your emotional stability – especially when you do it across the board. Some people are hesitant to set boundaries because they don’t want to appear harsh; however, instituting limits with yourself and others is actually an act of love. It protects your overall well-being so you can show up as your best self every day.

If you’re feeling emotionally unsteady and can’t pinpoint why, take a look at the many aspects of your life, one at a time, and ask yourself if you need to create or adjust any boundaries. Consider the types listed below:

• Emotional/relational.
• Financial/material.
• Intellectual/spiritual.
• Physical/sexual.
• Time.

Perhaps you feel overwhelmed because you’ve overbooked yourself. Or you feel stressed because you’ve neglected your budget for far too long. Whatever the circumstance, establishing clearer limits for yourself and others will enhance your joy and lessen opportunities for emotional turmoil. 

5. Consult a doctor

Some emotional irregularities are biological – not just situational. In this case, you should consult a doctor. Some people worry about the stigma or side effects of taking medication to stabilize your mood, but depending on your unique circumstances, it may be the best option for you.

It’s worthwhile to keep an open mind; it could dramatically improve your quality of life. Similarly, we’ve written an entire article about how seeking help can improve your happiness.

6. Practice gratitude journaling

Cultivating a habit of gratitude can significantly boost your emotional stability. Start by maintaining a daily gratitude journal. Each day, take a moment to write down three things you are grateful for. These can range from simple pleasures to significant accomplishments.

The act of writing them down shifts your focus from negative or overwhelming emotions to positive aspects of your life, promoting a more balanced emotional state.

Gratitude journaling doesn’t just provide temporary relief; it reprograms your brain to notice and appreciate the positives more readily, leading to long-term emotional resilience. Whenever you’re feeling emotionally turbulent, refer back to your journal. This reflection can serve as a powerful reminder of the good in your life, anchoring you in positivity and providing a broader perspective on your emotional experiences.

7. Engage in creative expression

Creative activities like painting, writing, music, or crafting can be therapeutic tools for emotional stability. Engaging in a creative process allows you to express emotions that might be difficult to articulate verbally.

It’s a form of non-verbal communication with yourself, a way to process and make sense of your feelings.

Start by dedicating a small portion of your day to a creative activity that resonates with you. It’s not about the end product but the process of expressing yourself. This creative outlet can provide a sense of accomplishment and joy, countering negative emotions. Over time, these activities can become a safe haven for you, a place to retreat and recalibrate your emotions whenever you feel overwhelmed.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

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Wrapping up

No matter where you’re at in life, emotional stability is something you can and should continuously pursue. It may require challenging introspective work, but you owe it to yourself and others to work toward a world where emotion and logic function together in perfect harmony. 

Is there something you do to stabilize your emotions when you’re feeling uneasy? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Jamie Staudinger Author

Former English teacher-turned-writer with a stereotypical zeal for coffee. Most content when I’m on the soccer field or sharing a fancy meal with someone I love.

The post 7 Tips to be More Emotionally Stable (and Manage Your Emotions) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Although we may all share the same basic longing to be seen and valued, everyone has their unique preferences. Different gestures speak to different people, so acknowledging someone else’s efforts in a way they will receive it can be challenging. 

In this article, I’ll address what it means to appreciate someone, the benefits of doing so, and practical suggestions for how to start expressing gratitude toward the people you cherish most.

What does it mean to appreciate someone?

To appreciate someone means to hold them in great esteem, often as a result of some admirable effort. Showing appreciation for someone means not only recognizing their value but openly communicating it to them. It’s less of a thought and more of an action. 

Frequently expressing appreciation for a colleague, partner, friend, or family member may not always seem necessary, but its effect may be greater than you think. A recent USC study shows that many people feel underappreciated at work, and this is likely true of many people’s personal lives.

Small, simple acts of gratitude have the power to change someone’s day and strengthen relationships of any kind.

Why is it important to show others appreciation?

Millions of years ago, acknowledging someone’s value and welcoming them into our circle was a matter of life and death; it ensured their very survival. Although showing appreciation for others has lower stakes these days, it still has a significant impact on them. 

According to a 2012 survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA), employees who felt valued in the workplace reported higher levels of engagement, satisfaction, and motivation than those who felt underappreciated by their employers. They also reported better mental and physical health. Expressing appreciation for others has lucrative benefits in the workplace as well: High morale yields high productivity.

Appreciating people can shape personal relationships, too. A 2014 study revealed that expressing gratitude toward an acquaintance makes them more likely to pursue a long-term relationship with you. It’s a quick, easy way to build trust, loyalty, and community. Who wouldn’t want to develop ties with someone whose initial impression was appreciative and kind?

When people feel unappreciated, other emotions tend to emerge. Feelings of resentment, neglect, distress and discouragement begin to fester. These negative emotions often lead to severe consequences, such as broken relationships or career changes.

Undervaluing others in an extreme way, especially over the course of time, can evolve into a form of emotional or even physical abuse.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

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5 ways to show others appreciation

One of the most incredible characteristics of humanity is our diversity. While we have a lot in common, our individual experiences set us apart and give us distinct stories, perspectives, and preferences. It’s probably easiest to show someone appreciation when you really know them, but even if you don’t, this list of suggestions is sure to soften anyone’s heart.

1. Put yourself in their shoes

You may find The Golden Rule – “treat others the way you wish to be treated” – a bit cliché, but when it comes to appreciating others, this is the foundation. 

If you have no clue what to do for someone else, start by asking yourself this question: What would make you feel cherished? Based on your knowledge of the person you want to praise or thank, would they enjoy a similar gesture? 

For example, imagine you want to show appreciation to your spouse, who selflessly cared for you while you were sick. You may not know what gesture best suits the occasion at first, so you decide to ask yourself what would make you feel valued in the same situation. After considering the tasks of a caretaker – preparing meals, administering medications, maintaining household chores, etc. – you conclude you would feel pretty exhausted. You decide to offer your spouse a massage, and they are thrilled.

This exercise – attempting to understand another person’s point of view – can be extremely helpful in selecting the perfect act of appreciation.

2. Discover their love languages

In college, someone gifted me a book titled The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, and it changed my life.

In a nutshell, Gary Chapman, the author, proposes the idea that there are five major ways of expressing love:

• Physical touch.
• Quality time.
• Words of affirmation.
• Gift-giving.
• Acts of service.

He claims that most people have a primary and secondary preference for receiving love.

It was a short read, but it was packed with useful information. It gave me the language I desperately needed to communicate what made me feel treasured, and it showed me how to do the same for a romantic partner.

Over time, I realized that inquiring about the love languages of others – not just romantic partners – improved my relationships with them, too. I discovered that my mom values physical touch and quality time. When I want to show her that I appreciate her, I know the best way to do that is by giving her a hug or chatting over a glass of wine on the back patio.

If you’re close enough with someone, you could ask them to take this free quiz to help determine their primary love language. If not, though, making simple observations or asking someone else in their life for information can be very insightful.

3. Say thank you (and mean it)

One of the most effortless ways to show someone appreciation is to say thank you and mean it.

Whether you are conveying your gratitude through written or verbal communication, it’s important to be specific about what, exactly, you are thankful for. According to the Greater Good Science Center, specificity is key to cultivating gratitude in one’s own heart.

Personally, I believe it also exhibits a deeper, more genuine level of care toward a person.

When my girlfriend and I first began dating, we developed a nightly habit of playing “The Appreciation Game”. This so-called “game” was really just a conversation. We took turns expressing gratitude for at least four specific acts the other person did for them that day. Then we wrapped things up by sharing one character trait we admired about each other (independent of the previously named acts).

Saying “thank you” to each other in such an intentional way, even if we had already done it earlier that day, created a meaningful bonding experience every evening. Expressing regular gratitude for one another continues to be one of the pillars of our relationship.

4. Celebrate their victories

When someone in your life achieves a noteworthy accomplishment, consider it a cause for celebration. Offering to take them out for a meal, a drink, or a coffee shows that you appreciate their hard work and care about their success. If a group setting seems more fitting, you might arrange a gathering at work, at home, or at a venue.

If you’re an employer who wishes to show appreciation to your employees, consider distributing raises or bonuses. Studies show that performance-related increases in pay are effective in generating positive feelings about work. 

I’ve had many considerate, complimentary bosses who went out of their way to thank me for a job well done in various ways. But in the workplace, nothing says “I appreciate you” like generous compensation for your time and expertise.

5. Acknowledge them publicly

One should never underestimate the power of a good connection. Publicly expressing appreciation for someone may feel pointless or even a bit contrived, but in reality, it’s the opposite. A 2015 survey suggests that 85% of critical jobs are filled by networking. This astonishing number stresses the importance of providing solid references for those we care about. 

Showing a person we appreciate them in the public eye may have other promising implications for their life that extend beyond work. A 2015 survey reveals that more young adults meet their significant others through mutual friends than by any other means, including dating apps. (I can attest to this!) Apparently, there is real merit in hyping your friends up.

Public praise can be informal and occur virtually anywhere, so don’t hesitate to construct a social media post, write an email, or make an introduction.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

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Wrapping up

There are countless ways to show someone you appreciate them. Taking a moment of your time to share a word of gratitude can have a lasting impact on a person and your relationship with them. It’s never too late to begin showing others appreciation, so consider which of the above suggestions you can implement today.

What makes you feel appreciated? How do you prefer to show appreciation to the people in your life? Leave a comment below and let us know!

Jamie Staudinger Author

Former English teacher-turned-writer with a stereotypical zeal for coffee. Most content when I’m on the soccer field or sharing a fancy meal with someone I love.

The post 5 Ways to Appreciate Someone More (With Examples!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

It’s not that the talkaholic has bad intentions; in fact, in some cases, their excessive talking is considered more of a mental health concern than a deliberate choice or quirk. Regardless, talkaholics tend to strain social situations in uncomfortable ways.

In this article, I will discuss what it means to talk less, explain the benefits of doing so, and suggest valuable tips for how to talk less and listen more.

When it comes to talking, quality is more important than quantity

The motive behind prompting over-sharers to talk less is not to suppress them. It’s to encourage thoughtful, balanced communication.

Anthony Liccione, poet, and author, once said, “A fool is made more of a fool when their mouth is more open than their mind.”

In other words, it’s easy for a person to appear careless and imprudent when speaking, instead of listening, is their primary concern. 

Sharing your thoughts with the world is a good and necessary act. You have a unique perspective that no one else can emulate. However, it’s important to recognize that the thoughts of others are just as important as your own. 

Think of it this way: There’s only so much space in a conversation. The more you express, the less someone else gets to. Your decision to distribute the “airtime” (or not) has the power to make someone else feel heard and understood or silenced and overlooked.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

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Why talking less is important

Not only does talking less communicate respect for others, but it also helps avoid conflict in relationships. Once you’ve spoken a thought into existence, you cannot retract it. You might say something you don’t quite mean or reveal information you probably shouldn’t have. No matter what, you will have to face the consequences of your words.

Talking less also fosters humility. It allows you to gain perspective and exposure to new ideas. It’s unlikely that anyone knows everything there is to know about a topic.

Even if you believe you’re an expert in some way, it can be enlightening to take a step back and hear what others have to contribute.

Tips for talking less and listening more

If you wish to talk less but don’t know where to start, check out the tips below. Even the slightest mindset shifts can significantly improve your self-control and ability to make space for others in conversation. 

1. Reflect on your desire to speak

Before simply resolving to talk less, take a quiet moment to reflect on your desire to speak as often as you do.

Ask yourself, “What are my intentions? Why do I feel I must share this information?”

You may discover some things about yourself that you didn’t previously know. For example, you might learn that your urge to talk excessively comes from one of the following sources:

• Anxiety.
• Defensiveness.
• Insecurity.
• Low self-esteem.
• Neglect.
• Pride.

In some cases, talking too much may also be symptomatic of a mental disorder. In this case, specialized assistance from a psychologist could be necessary for behavioral change.

Talking too much is also a sign that someone lacks self-awareness, as discussed in this article.

2. Evaluate your thoughts before speaking

Ever heard of the idea that less is more? That’s often true when it comes to words. When you make a habit of being concise, people tend to listen. Why? Because for you, every word carries weight.  

Evaluating your thoughts before speaking is one of the best ways to ensure you say exactly what you mean. It also prevents you from oversharing. When you feel the urge to chime in during a conversation, ask yourself these questions first:

• What is the occasion? 
• Is what I’d like to say appropriate to express on this occasion?
• What is my relationship with the person I’m speaking to? 
• What do I know about their beliefs, experiences, and values? 
• Would it be sensible for me to share what I’d like to say with this person at this time?
• What is motivating me to share this piece of information?
• Am I informed enough to share about this topic?
• Is what I’m about to say redundant? Has someone already said it?
• What information do I want to remain private?

Remember, you can always share more later. Don’t be afraid to omit information if you’re on the fence about divulging it.

3. Be inquisitive

Conversations should be balanced, so if you notice yourself talking too much, consider switching gears and asking a question. Asking questions shows you care about the thoughts and experiences of others instead of just your own.

I didn’t recognize the importance of being inquisitive until after I graduated college. Suddenly, developing relationships wasn’t as easy. I realized I had less in common with people in the “adult world,” so I coped with this awkwardness by talking…a lot.

The problem with this approach was that I left social engagements feeling dissatisfied. I hadn’t truly connected with people; I had spewed my words upon them. Eventually, I learned it was possible to find points of similarity with others; I just had to keep digging.

Before every outing, I began formulating a couple of questions I genuinely wanted answers to. This practice completely transformed the way I navigated social events, and the result was stunning. Being inquisitive allowed me to form deeper bonds with people than I had expected.

If the idea of developing thoughtful questions sounds intimidating or impossible to you, you’re in luck! There’s an entire archive of questions that already exists for your use. Explore the following platforms to find questions you like:

• Card decks like We’re Not Really Strangers or Let’s Get Deep. 
• Conversation starter apps like Party Q’s or Gather.
• Websites or blogs (I personally love this list from the New York Times).

I revisit these platforms time and time again to take note of fresh questions, and I’m always impressed by what I find.

4. Practice active listening

One of the most effective ways to eliminate a bad habit is to replace it with a better one. Instead of expending all your energy talking, try active listening instead.

Active listening requires a person’s full attention as well as intent to understand the speaker. There are several ways to show someone you are engaged in a conversation:

• Make eye contact.
• Lean in.
• Smile or nod.
• Ask clarifying questions.
• Repeat what you’ve just heard.
• Avoid interrupting.

If your focus is set on listening actively during a conversation, you will feel less inclined to talk. Practicing active listening on a regular basis can gradually nudge any relationship into a deeper and more authentic place.

Active listening is a big part of how to be a better listener, as discussed in this article.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Sharing your thoughts is a crucial part of participating in the world and relating with others. However, it’s important to give people the same amount of conversational space as you might expect. Deciding to withhold information may feel strange at first, but with time, it’s likely you’ll find it as natural as breathing.

Do you consider yourself to be a talker? Or do you prefer to analyze what others are saying? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Jamie Staudinger Author

Former English teacher-turned-writer with a stereotypical zeal for coffee. Most content when I’m on the soccer field or sharing a fancy meal with someone I love.

The post 4 Simple Tips to Talk Less and Listen More (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Humility is typically viewed as a positive trait, yet many people struggle to exhibit it in their own lives. Part of this phenomenon can be attributed to the fact that humility is somewhat equivocal. It’s difficult to pinpoint and often mistaken for other characteristics, such as low self-esteem or a lack of confidence. As a result, those who wrestle with pride don’t always find achieving humility realistic. However, being humble is attainable for anyone who wishes to work at it.

In this article, I will define what it means to be humble, explain the benefits of humility, and provide some actionable steps that will lead you to view yourself in a positive but modest light.

What is humility?

Humility can be defined in a variety of ways, but I like to think of it as the sweet spot between self-deprecation and arrogance. One’s sense of self is neither undervalued or inflated; it is just right.

Glennon Doyle articulates it beautifully in her bestselling book, Untamed:

The word ‘humility’ derives from the Latin word humilitas, which means ‘of the earth.’ To be humble is to be grounded in knowing who you are – to grow, to reach, to fully bloom as high and strong and grand as you were created to.

Glennon Doyle

A humble person is aware of their gifts and accomplishments, but they do not need the validation of others to determine their worth. They are capable of recognizing that although they may have exceptional accolades, characteristics, or talents, others have them, too. Although they have much to offer the world, they believe they still have room to grow. They do not shrink, but they do not boast.

The importance of humility

Being humble has benefits that extend beyond an inner sense of satisfaction with oneself. Humility plays a huge role in strengthening social bonds. Viewing others as humble fosters a greater sense of commitment to them, which helps important relationships remain intact. This is especially true in situations where issues are bound to arise, like at home or work.

I find that when my girlfriend demonstrates humility during a conflict, I am flooded with positive feelings about her and the relationship. I’m immediately reminded that she cares about me, values my perspective, and is willing to make changes in order to reconcile. It’s a powerful thing.

Furthermore, a 2012 study conducted by the University of Michigan suggests that humble adults exhibit more positive health outcomes over time. A lack of humility tends to weaken social bonds, leading to higher levels of stress, which negatively affects the body. Humility may nourish mental health as well, allowing people to endure difficult social interactions and forgive grudges against others and themselves. 

5 steps to be more humble

Whether you are actively struggling with pride or simply seeking to polish up your temperament, check out the five steps below to help improve your humility.

1. Gain perspective

One of the easiest, most non-threatening ways to become more humble is to listen – without the intention of debating, defending, or judging in response. Listening in this way can feel extremely vulnerable, as it may be perceived as passive or weak. However, listening well can open your mind to the experiences and opinions of others, dramatically altering your outlook and generating compassion.

Listening doesn’t necessarily mean you must engage in a live conversation with someone. That may be ideal, but there are many ways to gain perspective that don’t require face-to-face communication (or even dialogue). Consider the following practices:

• Read (doesn’t have to be a book!).
• Listen to a podcast.
• Explore unfamiliar music or art.
• Search YouTube videos.
• Watch a documentary.
• Listen to yourself more.

I’ve dabbled in each of these forms of media, and I can safely say that at one point or another, I’ve been humbled by all of them. You never know which stance you might be missing out on.

2. Seek feedback

Uncomfortable as it may be, inviting constructive criticism into your life is guaranteed to make you humble. The feedback you receive may be hard to swallow at times, but it is illuminating nevertheless.

When I started working at a coffee shop, I felt woefully unequipped. No matter how intelligent I thought I was, I didn’t know anything about coffee, and I had a lot to learn. (I still do!)

While I was in training, I made a point to ask other baristas for feedback throughout the day. I didn’t do this to receive empty praise; I did it because I knew it was the only way to improve.

Being a perfectionist, I remember wincing each time a coworker kindly corrected me. However, I quickly learned how to accurately enter orders and prepare drinks. I was regularly reminded that getting too comfortable with my responsibilities was a form of pride, and I wasn’t even close to knowing it all yet. I needed to stay open to critique.

Seeking feedback is somewhat intuitive, as your approach will likely vary depending on who you’re asking. If you’re not sure where to start, check out Indeed’s tips for how to appropriately request feedback from your employer. Seeking feedback from a friend, family member, or significant other will look less formal, but the same general principles apply.

3. Acknowledge your limitations and shortcomings

No matter how wonderful you are, it’s helpful to remember that one person cannot excel at everything. We are limited beings. Even if you are “the best” in certain ways, there will always be something you cannot do.

An activity that always keeps me grounded is comparing myself to the vastness of nature. There’s something about considering the magnitude of space, standing near a waterfall, or looking out at the ocean’s horizon that arouses wonder. A 2018 study reveals that experiencing awe and feeling physically smaller than an entity before us keeps us humble. It allows us to see our strengths and weaknesses in a more balanced, accurate way.

Because we are limited, we are bound to have flaws and make mistakes. Admitting our faults and errors is a necessary step to increase humility. If you struggle to own your mistakes, it either means you haven’t been introspective enough, or you’re allowing pride to act as a veil that cloaks reality.

4. Elevate others

If anyone has assisted you on the road to success, elevating their contributions is a great way to remain humble. You may be tempted to take all the credit for yourself, especially if you were the most significant contributor, but doing so just inflates the ego.

I used to teach high school English. My former department head was very intentional about incorporating the act of elevating others into our school’s culture. She and I worked on several projects together – developing curriculum, planning school activities, etc. – and even if our final product included a majority of her ideas, she was always so complimentary. She made sure to praise me for my efforts both privately and publicly, and because of this, I developed a solid reputation among our school’s families and staff.

Elevating others, even if they’ve accomplished less than you, makes people feel valued. Studies show that employee resilience and motivation increases in response to humble leadership. It’s a simple way to encourage satisfaction and buy-in.

5. Practice gratitude

The benefits of practicing gratitude are truly immeasurable, and they include the promotion of humility. A 2014 study shows that gratitude and humility are mutually reinforcing, meaning gratitude fuels humility (and vice versa).

If people uphold the notion that everything is a gift, it reduces their inclination to boast. Instead of attributing their strengths and accomplishments to themselves, they are able to acknowledge the many factors that have contributed to their success.

There are so many different ways to begin practicing gratitude. This article contains a variety of methods, some of which may be brand new to you. My favorite ways to practice gratitude are included below:

• Respond to a gratitude prompt.
• Take a gratitude walk.
• Construct a gratitude flower.
• Write a gratitude letter.
• Create a gratitude collage.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Being humble requires a lot of internal work, which is why it’s not a common trait. However, the pursuit of this quality has life-changing implications for those who are able to achieve it. It could have life-changing implications for you, too. 

Who is the most humble person you know? What do they do that I haven’t listed here? Feel free to leave a comment below.

Jamie Staudinger Author

Former English teacher-turned-writer with a stereotypical zeal for coffee. Most content when I’m on the soccer field or sharing a fancy meal with someone I love.

The post 5 Great Ways to be Humble (and Why It’s so Important!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

If you find yourself feeling worried, grieved, or bitter when unfavorable circumstances arise, you are well within your right. It’s completely natural for people to feel upset when bad things happen. After all, we’re only human. The good news is that we don’t have to stay in that headspace for very long. Instead of loathing and resisting circumstances we can’t change, we can learn to accept them.

In this article, I will unpack the meaning of acceptance, explain its importance, and recommend several tips that are sure to help you cope with any challenging event that may come your way.

What is acceptance?

It’s important to distinguish acceptance from embracing. To accept something is to receive it, but it’s possible for the act to be devoid of emotion.

You don’t have to feel positive about a situation in order to accept it. You can acknowledge that something has happened, or will happen, without jumping for joy. There’s a certain freedom in that – especially when it comes to devastating circumstances like the diagnosis of a chronic illness. Celebrating that news would be odd and insensitive – perhaps even a little sadistic.

In the same way that acceptance isn’t necessarily a warm welcome, it’s also not a passive act of surrender. To accept something doesn’t mean you have given up. It doesn’t mean you have to stop fighting against an unfortunate situation. To accept something means you have come to terms with it, and even if it never changes, you can experience peace. 

For instance, I’ve struggled with acne for years. I used to pick my skin so badly that I couldn’t bear to show my face in public without makeup on. I’ve tried everything under the sun to clear up my face and control my picking, but even after decades of experimentation, I still don’t have clear skin. 

A few years ago, I recognized the extent to which I had been allowing acne to interfere with my life. It kept me from making overnight trips, going to the beach, and participating in sports. Even though my acne continues to bother me, I have finally accepted that it may be a part of my life for many years to come. That doesn’t stop me from trying new products, but it does allow me to partake in activities I would have previously declined.

The importance of acceptance

Denise Fournier, esteemed therapist and professor, says it best:

Failing to accept reality creates suffering where there is already pain.

Denise Fournier

Denying the existence of circumstances that are very real and uncontrollable is dangerous. It causes us psychological and emotional distress, and it interferes with our ability to cope. 

Denial also has the ability to disrupt our relationships. For example, if a couple learns they are going to have a child with special needs, but one partner cannot accept that reality, it becomes impossible for the two of them to seek resources and support as a team. The lack of solidarity is bound to cause tension in their relationship. 

Refusing to accept circumstances you can’t change is also a waste of time and energy. Obsessing over solutions that will never come can generate feelings of helplessness and despair. When difficult events transpire, it’s only logical to try to accept them. Otherwise, you may find yourself unable to move on or return to a state of rest.

This is also why it’s not a good idea to try to control everything.

How to accept things you can’t change

So as it turns out, there are multiple benefits to accepting things you can’t change. But it sure does feel difficult. Therefore, here are 4 strategies that will help you come to terms with the things you can’t change in your life.

1. Identify the silver lining

In 2019, the film Five Feet Apart was released in theaters. Although the events in the movie are fictional, they are inspired by the experiences of a real person – Claire Wineland. Slushy in hand, I sat down and watched two teenagers with cystic fibrosis live loudly in spite of their potentially fatal disease. The main characters Stella and Will must maintain their physical distance, as exposure to germs may lead to respiratory failure and other complications. They find creative ways to communicate and spend time together.

One of the major themes of the story was to make the most of life’s circumstances, no matter how dismal they may be. Stella and Will could have remained confined to their hospital rooms, ruminating, sulking, and worrying. Instead, they chose to build a relationship that ended up greatly enhancing their lives. Neither one of them could change the fact they were ill, but they were able to identify the silver lining in their situation: Because they had cystic fibrosis, they found each other.

Searching for the benefits in a difficult situation is scientifically proven to yield positive results. In a 2018 study, adolescents with chronic pain reported better mental health, less pain, and a higher quality of life after intentionally looking on the bright side. If you find yourself in an unfavorable situation, examining it for even an ounce of virtue is guaranteed to increase your wellbeing.

2. Focus on what you can control

Unfortunate circumstances often leave people feeling helpless, but even in the midst of unpredictable or worrisome times, there are still things you can control. Some of these include:

• Your actions.
• Your attitude.
• Your boundaries.
• Your media intake (which we’ve written about here).
• Your priorities.
• Your words.

This year, I quit my job as an educator without a concrete backup plan. I knew it was somewhat reckless, but my health was suffering so much that I felt as though it was my only option.

It took me longer than I anticipated to find full-time work that aligned with my schedule and my values, so I was forced to dig (quite uncomfortably) into my savings. Consequently, I have had to make some lifestyle changes to accommodate my decreased income. Living paycheck-to-paycheck isn’t ideal, but it’s the reality of my situation while I rebuild my savings and continue to search for a better opportunity.

In the meantime, though, I can create happy moments for myself.

• I might have to eat at home most of the time (I normally enjoy going out), but I can purchase and cook food I love.
• I may not be able to get my nails done, but I can have a spa night at my apartment.
• I might have to write in the evenings after working all day, but I can do it while sipping on a glass of wine from the comfort of my bed.
• I can choose to view this season of life as a stepping stone toward my goals instead of resenting it. 

This principle is applicable to you, too. You have more power than you might think, so consider which small factors you can change instead of focusing on the ones you can’t.

3. Pursue community

There are billions of people in the world. This means no matter which uncontrollable circumstance you are enduring, it’s likely there’s a whole group of people out there experiencing it, too. A therapist once told me that my suffering was not unique. In the moment, it felt a little invalidating, but she didn’t mean for it to be. Her intention was to comfort me with the fact that I was not alone, and that if others have survived similar pain, I could, too.

Finding a community of individuals who have similar experiences to your own can have a positive impact on your mental health. It provides people with the following benefits:

• Belonging.
• Security.
• Support.
• Purpose.

A community can be established in person or, in many cases, digitally. There are a ton of professional support groups and organizations dedicated to helping people connect, as well as informal groups formed through social media platforms or other websites. It might take some exploring, but finding an empathetic, understanding community can be extremely helpful for processing tough circumstances and eventually finding hope – especially in cases of grief or battles with mental health.

4. Improve conditions for others

One of the most admirable ways to go about accepting your own unfortunate circumstances, in my opinion, is to improve conditions for others like you. Just because you may be struggling doesn’t mean people in a similar position have to – or at least to the same degree.

Take two-time U.S. Paralympian Jarryd Wallace, for example. After being diagnosed with compartment syndrome at 18 years old, he learned his lower right leg would have to be amputated. He bought a running blade shortly after his recovery and began competing in Para athletics.

With a list of impressive records under his belt, it would be natural for Wallace to remain preoccupied with his own goals and performance. However, he developed a passion for empowering other disabled athletes. He joined Toyota’s initiative and even started the A Leg in Faith Foundation – both of which raise money for future Paralympic athletes. Wallace couldn’t change the circumstances surrounding his disability, but he could (and does) invest energy into supporting other people like him.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

At some point, we are bound to endure situations we wish we could change. Accepting these circumstances is integral to our own well-being and ability to cope. Some realities may seem impossible to accept, but with the right strategies, you can achieve a sense of tranquility in the midst of difficult times.

Now I’d like to hear from you! How do you go about accepting things you can’t change? What’s your favorite tip? Let me know and leave a comment below!

Jamie Staudinger Author

Former English teacher-turned-writer with a stereotypical zeal for coffee. Most content when I’m on the soccer field or sharing a fancy meal with someone I love.

The post 4 Real Ways to Accept Things you Can’t Change (with Examples!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Stress can become such a significant part of one’s life that many people simply succumb to it. However, there is another more hopeful option: taking actionable steps to reduce–or perhaps even eliminate–stress.

In this article, I explore what it means to be “stress-free,” explain the negative effects of stress, and share tips for how to work toward a life with less stress and more peace.

What does it mean to be “stress-free”?

The notion that someone could be entirely stress-free is up for debate. If a person cares about anything at all, it’s likely they will, at some point, experience stress in regard to it. 

Life can be tough and unpredictable. Many of the challenging circumstances we face are outside our control, but that doesn’t mean we have to let the pressure of those situations overwhelm us.

There are ways to cope that help us persevere through adversity, and these techniques are worth investigating for the sake of our mental and physical health. Even if it’s impossible to be completely stress-free, we can still reap several benefits from striving for it.

Why is being stress-free important?

If you’re an adrenaline junkie or an overachiever, it’s possible you associate stress with a thrill or great accomplishment. Although some stress can actually be good for you, generating excitement or inspiring productivity, the negative effects of stress almost always outweigh the positive.

Stress can have serious, long-term effects on your physical health. Common symptoms of stress include headaches, muscle tension, sleep problems, and more. These symptoms may seem minor or insignificant when they first arise but left untreated, they can lead to larger, more complicated health issues.

Stress can also greatly impact your mood. Feelings of anxiety, irritability, overwhelm, and depression begin to surface. These feelings are difficult to compartmentalize. They often seep into every aspect of our lives, influencing our relationships and habits in undesirable ways.

Personally, when I’m stressed about something, everything else seems to suffer, too – especially my social interactions. Decreasing stress creates an opportunity for more positive emotions to enter and direct your life.

5 steps toward a stress-free life

If stress is so bad for our mental and physical health, why aren’t more people taking concrete steps to reduce its presence in their lives?

The answer to this question is understandable: Stress is rarely caused by a single source. Multiple factors work together to produce feelings of stress, and it’s difficult to know where to begin addressing the problem. 

Check out the tips listed below, and see which ones you can incorporate today. You may have to use a combination of strategies to ultimately become stress-free, but try not to get discouraged by the trial and error. It’s a valuable part of the process.

1. Identify the source and make changes

Although several circumstances typically intertwine to stir up our stress, sometimes all it takes to become stress-free are a few lifestyle adjustments.

Take a moment to evaluate your job, your relationships, your schedule, and your habits. It’s possible that exploring new pathways, setting more boundaries, going to bed earlier, or switching up your diet could drastically increase your peace.

When I taught high school English, I found myself under a lot of pressure. I almost always had to take work home with me, so I felt stressed even when I was off-the-clock. Because I had a passion for teaching and studied it in college, I never considered alternative careers. However, when my health started to suffer as a result of my chronic stress, I knew I needed to make a change. Transitioning out of teaching was difficult, but my health and work/life balance have significantly improved since doing so.

2. Take time to process

A little bit of reflecting can go a long way. When stressful situations occur, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or even a licensed counselor to talk. Working through stressful situations with someone else can be extremely beneficial. According to Harvard Health Publishing, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be particularly helpful in reducing stress. 

If you don’t feel comfortable sharing stressful situations with others, give journaling a try. It may help you prioritize problems, track stressful triggers, and incorporate positive self-talk.

The wonderful thing about journaling is that there is no right or wrong way to do it. My journal collection contains everything from bulleted lists to stream-of-consciousness prose. It’s not the form that matters; it’s taking the time to transfer worrisome thoughts from your head onto a page.

3. Try relaxation techniques 

In the middle of a stressful day, it may not seem like the most responsible or practical idea to carve out time for relaxation. However, participating in one or more of the following techniques–even for just a few minutes–can significantly reduce feelings of stress:

• Deep breathing.
• Massage.
• Meditation. 
• Yoga.

These techniques may feel somewhat intimidating if you’ve never experimented with them before, but luckily, there are a ton of free resources on the internet to assist you. I was skeptical of meditation for the longest time (I thought I’d just fall asleep), but after hearing about a friend’s positive experience with it, I gave it a try. It was so soothing!

4. Move your body

Exercise has countless benefits, and reducing stress is one of them. Exercise doesn’t have to be lengthy or vigorous for it to reduce stress.

There are several ways to incorporate movement into your routine. In order to use exercise as a stress-reliever, it’s crucial to choose activities that you actually enjoy; otherwise, it’s challenging to maintain consistency. Consider some of the following forms of exercise:

• Walk.
• Run.
• Ride a bike.
• Swim.
• Lift weights.
• Take a fitness class.
• Join a team sport.
• Explore a solo sport (rock climbing, surfing, skating, etc.).

Who knows–in addition to managing stress, you may discover a new hobby.

5. Do what you love

When so much of life is filled with tasks we must do, it’s important that we set aside time to do things we would like to do. Engaging in hobbies we enjoy releases neurotransmitters from our brains. These chemicals help us feel pleasure and combat feelings of anxiety, depression, and stress. 

Although some people may feel hobbies are a privilege reserved for the rich or the retired, sacrificing other tasks to spend a few minutes doing something you love can help you feel happy and healthy enough to carry out your mandatory responsibilities. If you have no idea where to start, browse through this clinical psychologist’s list of hobbies to combat stress. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Being stress-free, or close to it, is not an unattainable ideal. Whether we like it or not, we are bound to encounter stressful situations throughout our lives. We can choose to let the stress overwhelm us, or we can do our best to take steps to mitigate it. After all, there’s nothing to lose and everything to gain.

How do you maintain a stress-free life? Do you have a special tip that you would like to share with other readers? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Jamie Staudinger Author

Former English teacher-turned-writer with a stereotypical zeal for coffee. Most content when I’m on the soccer field or sharing a fancy meal with someone I love.

The post 5 Steps to be Stress-Free (& Live a Life Free of Stress!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.