But what about when negativity gets out of control? What do we do when negative thoughts and feelings start to take over? Let’s find out.

What does negativity look like?

There are many ways in which negativity manifests itself in our lives. From thoughts of helplessness to dissatisfaction with our work, pessimism can creep up in many different areas of day-to-day life.

Some amount of negativity is normal, and we all have days where we just feel a bit… meh, but constant pessimism can be indicative of a whole host of mental health issues, including anxiety disorders and depression; not to mention the fact that chronic negativity can also have physical ramifications such as sleeping issues, high blood pressure and heart disease.

According to The University of Minnesota, the chronic stress that can come from unmanaged negativity can even decrease our lifespan.

Yep, rampant negative attitudes can kill you, albeit very slowly. All in all, I think it’s clear that too much negativity is… well… definitely a negative.

But does it always have to be a bad thing?

Well, no.

Negativity has a purpose

Negativity is actually a very useful part of our characters. Some forms of negativity, such as skepticism and unoptimistic realism, can come with positive effects such as increasing a person’s ability for clear judgment and self-motivation.

In fact, Julie Norem, as quoted by Adam Grant, says in her book The Positive Power of Negative Thinking that so-called ‘defensive pessimists’ can be just as successful as ‘strategic optimists’ because of their lower expectations leading them to plan more and work harder.

By never assuming success, they put in more effort to ensure it, regardless of how often they may have succeeded before.

So negative thoughts and feelings don’t have to be all bad. But if they do get too powerful and the dark clouds begin to descend, what can we do to help ourselves?

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

How to turn negativity into positivity

It’s worth remembering that humans, by our very nature, have something called a negativity bias.

Essentially, this is the term we use to describe our tendency to prioritize bad things over good things due to our natural instinct to protect ourselves against threats.

This bias, however, is not nearly as useful to us now as it was for our wild ancestors, given how much less we have to worry about dying horrible and violent deaths at the hands (or paws) of wild animals and preventable diseases.

Instead, we need some strategies to deal with this phycological remnant of times gone by. Let’s take a look at a few examples.

1. Practice forgiveness

In this context, forgiveness consists of fully accepting negative events that have occurred, through which we can then let go of our negative feelings about what happened.

Studies show by allowing negative hang-ups to drift away and simply accepting events as they are, we can improve both our mental and physical health, potentially even leading to better immune function and longer lifespans.

The best part? This is a cognitive skill that can be taught and learned! Through meditation and ‘forgiveness practice’, we can teach ourselves to not only forgive the actions of others but also our own actions, leading to a more positive outlook and self-image.

Basically, guys, give yourself a break. You’re doing great!

2. Practice gratitude

Just as we should accept the negative things that happen in our lives, so too should we be grateful for the good things that come our way.

In a study quoted by the University of Minnesota it was found that people who were asked to ruminate on the good things that happened to them were healthier and happier, would sleep better, and even engage in exercise more… Imagine that!

Being thankful for what you have and giving yourself time to feel gratitude can be a powerful tool in the fight against negativity and one that should not be overlooked. It forces us to recognize the positive things around us, which often puts the negative things into perspective, making them more manageable and generally less of a ‘big deal’.

3. Review, replace and repeat

Another way to deal with negative thoughts and feelings is to replace them with positive thoughts that are more constructive. Obviously, this is not the easiest thing in the world to do and it may sound like an oversimplification, but let me explain.

The basic principle here is that you need to pay attention to your thoughts, and when unwarranted negativity rears its ugly head, you need to catch it and interrogate it.

Ask yourself if the feeling or thought has any truthful basis. What would you say to someone else if they were having this thought? What can you do to get out of this mental space?

With the review done, we can move on to replacing the thought. Here, we take the negative feeling and flip it on its head. If you notice yourself thinking ‘I am useless’ for example, you would start to consciously tell yourself the opposite, using only positive words – not ‘I am not useless’ but ‘I am valuable’ instead. Make sense?

Then we repeat. Every time the negative thought rises to the surface you slap it back down with its opposite. You can write the positive thought over and over on a piece of paper or even write it down and stick the sign in a visible place, like on the fridge door or your computer screen.

Whatever works for you, do it, and do it consistently. This is not a quick fix, but with a few weeks of application, it might just start to help. You’ll be thinking your way out of negativity. Go you!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Negativity is a curse that we all have; it’s the price we pay for being human (albeit without much choice). But negative thoughts and feelings have their place, and to try to never have them would not only be impossible, but foolish.

At times in your life, negativity will protect you from harm and force you to be your best. The dark feelings that we spend all our time trying to avoid may just be the things that help us push that bit further or climb that much higher.

Too much negativity is most definitely a problem, no doubt about it, and I hope that you might be able to employ one of the strategies above to help you through those times when your personal black dog seems to look more like a wolf. But when you notice negativity creeping in around the edges of your mind, maybe don’t avoid it and suppress it, as so many people do, to the detriment of your health.

Instead, let the pessimist flow and harness it, letting the sails of your ambition billow with drive and determination.

Sean Bennett Author

British/German writer, blogger, theatre person and science enthusiast who is always looking to be happier! I love to travel, experience new things, and learn everything I can about the world around me.

The post 3 Examples to Turn Negativity Into Positivity appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Obsessing over anything is unhealthy, and when the object of your obsession is negative, that is doubly true and can lead to problems such as depression and anxiety. So, we know that’s bad if your mind is stuck on something is bad, but why do we do it? And what can we do to stop it?

In this article, I’ll discuss 5 strategies to stop yourself from negative thinking.

What’s the purpose of negative thinking?

Ruminating about things is not totally unnatural. In fact, negative thinking actually has its purpose in life, though it may not seem like it a lot of the time.

The purpose of negative thinking

Mulling over a problem can help us find solutions and prepare us when we expect things to go wrong.

However, fixations can also arise from brain malfunctions and bad old habits. One of the key reasons why natural ruminations might turn ugly is that we tend to focus on the negatives of a situation rather than devoting our thoughts to finding solutions.

We are very good at conjuring up worst-case scenarios and then playing them over and over again, rather than looking at all the possibilities and taking a rational and clear-headed approach.

Effects of negative thinking

Even when we actively try to not think about certain negative things, this often has the opposite effect, making us more likely to fixate on a particular thought or set of thoughts.

This is known to psychologists as the ‘white bear problem’ – If I tell you to think about a white bear, and then tell you to stop, chances are you will still very much be thinking about that white bear.

Negative thoughts don’t get shut off at will, they have to be replaced by something else. Trying to not think about something often makes you think about it even more.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 exercises to stop negative thinking

There are a few different exercises that we can use to replace unwanted thoughts and make them less present in the ever-churning stream of our minds.

Let’s take a look at a few.

1. Don’t try to reason with your negative thoughts

For many people, the first thing we want to do when we get stuck on a thought or feeling is to try and use logic to convince ourselves that we’re being silly and there’s nothing to worry about.

Whilst this may actually be true, and this method does work for some, for a lot of people it doesn’t. Mulling over the problem and getting into debates with your own mind tends to just compound the issue rather than solve it.

I, for one, can’t reason my way out of my negative thinking spirals, so I have a mantra that I use to remind me not to engage with intrusive, unwelcome thoughts:

You can’t out-think broken thoughts.

Your negative thoughts simply don’t operate in the same way or follow the same rules, so treating them similarly is simply not going to be effective.

For me, and many others, trying to reason with negative thinking is like delivering a flawless case to a courtroom while the jury sits in the Starbucks across the street. They’re not going to hear a word, and you’ll have broken out your best performance for nothing.

So the first exercise to deal with negative thinking here is: don’t focus your energy trying to argue with your thoughts. Rather, accept them for what they are and try to move on.

2. Find a friendly ear

While we should try not to get into 1 on 1 fights with our negative thoughts, battling it out when you’ve got back up is one of the best ways to get your mind off something and under control.

Humans are inherently social animals and so we benefit in a plethora of ways from interacting with and relying on those around us. This holds true for those times when you just can’t shake a negative thought.

Talking to someone, be it a friend, family member, or professional about our problems is one of the best ways to gain some perspective and resolve any underlying issues. We care about how others see us, so it stands to reason that our brain finds value in what others have to say about our negative thoughts.

To continue our analogy, while you’re speaking to the empty courtroom, your friend or psychiatrist is kicking in the door at Starbucks and dragging the jurors, kicking and screaming, back to their seats and forcing them to listen.

3. Create a ‘worry period’

Those people familiar with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) will likely have heard of this strategy or at the very least some variation on it.

The principle is to use our inherent preference for order and routines in order to control not if we worry, but when.

By selecting a certain period of your day as your ‘worry period’, you can allow yourself to have anxious thoughts but postpone mulling over them until later by writing them down and then moving on with your day.

Providing you with a set structure and time can help to alleviate some of that negative thinking because you know that you will deal with it later and are more comfortable ignoring it right now.

When using this strategy, make sure you pick a ‘worry period’ during a part of your day where you can be unproductive (i.e. not at work) but also ensure that it’s not too close to your bedtime, as residual worry makes it harder for you to get a good nights sleep.

4. Take comfort in chemistry

Sometimes, admitting defeat is actually the path toward victory.

For those people with mental health characteristics such as depression or anxiety, recognizing that your negative thinking is simply the result of your brain chemistry or your particular mental wiring can be a freeing experience.

Understanding that you are powerless to control these cognitive processes can allow some people to separate their conscious selves from their unconscious worries. The next step is to accept that the negative thoughts are not of their own making and are therefore not likely to be true or worth worrying about.

Recognizing that you are not worried about something, even though your mind is fixating on it, can help to shut down the negative feelings and fears that come with worries, without actually getting rid of the worry itself.

This particular exercise is not for everyone, but it presents an interesting idea as to how to tackle our unconscious thought processes and separate them from our conscious thoughts.

5. Interrupt the worry

One way to stop negative thinking is to, quite literally, force yourself to think about something else. Our brains can only think about so much at any given time, and sometimes breaking the cycle of an intrusive thought is enough to help shift it permanently.

Thankfully, there are a number of ways of doing this:

• Exercise – You didn’t honestly think I was going to write a whole article without talking about exercise, did you? Getting that blood pumping and those endorphins flowing is one of the best and most effective ways of improving mental health there is. Exercise has been linked with better overall health, both mental and physical, time and time again. So get those running shoes on or pick up those weights and get on with making yourself happier and healthier.
• Obsess over something else – This might seem slightly counter-intuitive, but shifting your focus to a less negative obsession can be a very effective way of dealing with worries and anxiety. If you’re obsessed about reaching a certain goal in a game or waiting to get a reply from a friend, you might find that your mind simply doesn’t have space for all the negative fixations too.
• Meditation and mindfulness – Practicing mindfulness and making use of techniques such as meditation are not quick fixes, but rather useful skills that take time to learn. However, once you have these strategies memorized, they can be very useful tools for dispersing stuck thoughts and negative feelings.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

We all suffer from intrusive thoughts and obsessive feelings occasionally, and these sensations do have their place in our lives. However, too much rumination on the same thoughts can be damaging and prevent us from getting on with our lives as normal.

Having an arsenal of strategies and tools at your disposal to combat your mind when it’s being unruly will hopefully help you through those tough times and have you emerging on the other side stronger and more confident than before.

What’s your favorite strategy to get your mind off of something? I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments below!

Sean Bennett Author

British/German writer, blogger, theatre person and science enthusiast who is always looking to be happier! I love to travel, experience new things, and learn everything I can about the world around me.

The post 5 Simple Exercises to Stop Negative Thinking (and Be Happier Now) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

It turns out that our senses of self-acceptance and self-esteem have a massive effect on our mental and physical wellbeing. The way in which we see ourselves plays a key role in our happiness, and yet it is a role that is so often neglected. Meaningful relationships, in particular, give us a sense of identity and security that has been proven to not only increase happiness and reduce stress psychologically but also biologically, changing the very structure of the brain and keeping us healthier for longer.

So, with that promising start, let’s take a look at how we can be happier with ourselves, starting with what the experts have to say.

What do you need to be happy with yourself?

One of the longest-running investigations into happiness is the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which began following the lives and developments of 724 men all the way back in 1938 when they were just teenagers.

Of the original cohort from diverse backgrounds, one of whom was none other than John F. Kennedy, about 60 are still alive and still taking part in the over-70-year-old study. Throughout their lives, researchers tracked their health and happiness in great detail and now Dr. Robert Waldinger, the fourth director of the study, tells us three things that they learned.

1. Social connections are vital for our health, both mental and physical. Loneliness kills.
2. The quality of relationships is what matters, not the quantity.
3. Good relationships actively protect our brains as we age.

Being happy with who you are is correlated to your relationships

So, how do our relationships with others affect our health? After all, Dr. Waldinger claims that good relationships are as important for our physical health as not smoking and not drinking. That’s quite a statement, but it has its foundations in fact.

We all like to spend time with our loved ones and it turns out that your body is thanking you too!

The research shows that people who have more active social lives are not only happier but also healthier and live longer than those who are more isolated.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Loneliness lowers our internal happiness

On the other hand, loneliness really is quite damaging. The study showed that people who spend less time with others than they would like are less happy, their health and mental faculties deteriorate quicker in midlife and they are prone to dying younger.

So, if you’re currently living that single life you might be getting concerned at this point, but before you panic and grab the first person off the street and drag them up to the altar, let’s discuss that second finding – the quality of relationships is more important than the quantity.

It turned out that people in happy, satisfying relationships gained many advantages, like being happier in themselves, physically healthier, and even less affected by pain and memory decline in later life.

Those in relationships that were problematic and unsatisfying, actually suffered as a result, with worse health, greater pains, and more severe memory decline.

Interestingly though, this wasn’t just for romantic relationships, but for platonic relationships as well. Though having a loving and stable romantic relationship might be good for you, meaningful friendships are also vitally important to your well-being.

Inner happiness may come down to who’s around you

If we want to be happier with ourselves, we need to understand that we are social animals.

Humans are just not designed to live solitary lives, and though wanting some alone time from the kids or your other half is perfectly normal, true isolation is bad for our health in so many ways.

The happiest retirees are those that manage to maintain good romantic and platonic relationships late into their lives, so maybe if we start appreciating the role others play in our happiness, we might get longer to enjoy our good mood.

Self-Acceptance and the impact on your happiness

According to Srini Pillay, writing for Harvard Health Publishing, ‘self-acceptance’ is another way in which our mental state can affect our well-being.

To be clear, self-acceptance and self-confidence are not quite the same things. We can be confident in ourselves, at least in specific scenarios, without having truly accepted ourselves.

Pillay uses a definition of self-acceptance from a paper written by a team in Brazil, who states that self-acceptance is ‘an individual’s acceptance of all of his/her attributes, positive or negative’. The key here is positive and negative. It’s not enough to just accept the things you like about yourself, that’s the easy part. It’s the things you don’t like, even the things you hate, that pose the challenge for most of us. I never said self-acceptance was easy, so why bother?

Well, much like how our relationships can affect both our mental and physical health, so too can self-acceptance. It is well known that stress can wreak havoc with our health, and it turns out that people with a greater level of self-acceptance experience a reduced effect from stress, whereas a lack of acceptance can actually increase stress and anxiety.

Self-acceptance also has a measurable, physical effect on the brain. Incredibly, studies have shown that people who feel negatively about themselves have less grey matter in the areas of the brain that deal with emotions and stress, making them less effective.

Yes, you read that right, how you see yourself actually changes the structure of your brain!

4 ways to be happier with who you are

Happiness is a complicated and ethereal thing, and what may work for one person might not work for you.

Just remember, if one thing doesn’t work you are not doomed to a life without happiness. Everyone has something that makes them happy and can help them on their way to self-acceptance, you just need to figure out what works for you. To help you find that thing, here are a few tips.

1. Self-regulate your negative thoughts into positive thoughts

This is pretty much exactly what it sounds like and involves grappling with and suppressing negative opinions and ideas about yourself. It is a conscious decision to take negativity and find a way to either make it positive or get rid of it.

In my opinion, this ‘brute-force’ method might not be the best, as it can sometimes lead to the problem being dodged and ignored instead of actually dealt with. Studies tell us that a lot of self-hatred issues are subconscious anyway, meaning that conscious efforts can’t really get to them.

2. Self-transcendence and find your purpose in life

Firstly, no, this method does not turn you into some godlike spirit from the 5^th dimension; it’s not that kind of transcendence. Instead, this strategy focuses on our connectedness with the world around us and the people in it.

By engaging more with family, friends, and our communities, we can aim to achieve a sense of purpose and unity within our social circles. This then allows us to more clearly understand our own thoughts and emotions – we become ‘transcendent’ of ourselves. Cool, right?

We have an entire section on this blog about finding your purpose in life, filled with actionable tips and interesting articles!

3. Practice mindfulness

You’ve probably heard a lot about mindfulness recently, but what does it mean?

Basically, mindfulness is the practice of acknowledging our thoughts and feelings without judging them or obsessing over them. Our friend Srini Pillay describes this as ‘calming down your amygdala’, which is one of those parts of your brain that gets involved with emotions.

Being kind to ourselves and compassionate about the way we are feeling can have very positive effects on emotional health, increasing our self-acceptance and even increasing connectivity in the brain. If you want to read more about mindfulness and how to live more in the present, I got you covered.

4. Simply exercise more often

Exercise is well known for increasing the flow of endorphins in our bodies and thus making us feel happier, but that’s not all it does.

Many of us struggle with self-acceptance, at least in part, because of how we look. The world isn’t kind in the stereotypes and standards of beauty and health it sets for us because most of us don’t look like those people in the perfume adverts.

However, I have found that working towards a healthier, fitter version of myself has made me feel better. I know I will never look like [insert your chosen heartthrob here], but the act of taking control of my life and trying to make a positive change for myself has really helped me with my self-acceptance.

Sometimes, just trying is enough to get those positive effects rolling.

Self-acceptance is not easy, but worth it

Being happy with who we are is no easy task.

Struggling with self-acceptance is probably one of the most common problems in the world and it really is nothing to be ashamed of. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to leave it unchecked.

The science says that by valuing our relationships, avoiding self-judgment, and treating ourselves well, we can tackle those pesky doubts and negative thoughts, clearing our minds to see just how wonderful we really are.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

I hope this article has helped you on your way to self-acceptance and the happiness that comes with it. Just remember, treat yourself and those around you with kindness and compassion, and the rest will follow. Now, I’m off to do some exercise… wish me luck!

Do you want to share your own tips on how to be happy with who you are? Did I miss any interesting studies that could be added to the article? I’d love to hear in the comments below!

Sean Bennett Author

British/German writer, blogger, theatre person and science enthusiast who is always looking to be happier! I love to travel, experience new things, and learn everything I can about the world around me.

The post 4 Ways to be Happier With Who You Are (Starting Today) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

We are all surrounded by pitches and advertising almost every waking minute of every day. There’s almost always someone that is trying to sell us something when we’re walking through town, watching TV, or just surfing the net. The desire to want things, to own things, to possess material objects is constantly hammered into us as we go through life.

But sometimes, enough is enough. At some point, we should be happy with what we have, and stop wanting more all the time. But how do you stop wanting more? How to want less and be perfectly happy about it?

Let’s find out.

The more you want it, the less you like it

A fascinating study conducted by Uzma Khan found that when people were offered a reward of some kind, a watch for example, which they were then denied,  their desire to get the reward increased. Sounds fairly unsurprising, right?

But here’s the kicker. When those same people were then given the reward they had been denied, even though they wanted it more, they ended up liking it less!

Crazy, right?

The impact of wanting something more

The people in the study who had been denied the watch the first time around wanted it more than those who got it. But after they had it, they were more likely to get rid of it in the end.

In fact, in a similar test the people who had been denied their reward were 3 times more likely to get rid of it than those who got it the first time around.

So, what does this mean?

The dark side of materialism

Well, in this age of ceaseless advertising, the realization that the things you want might not be the things you will actually like having is a valuable one.

Longing for material things can cause us to feel that we are incomplete or missing out on something, which is not particularly good for our mental health. But ownership of ‘things’ does not necessarily equate to happiness, and even when you do get something, it might not be as worth it as you thought.

This article on materialism has plenty of examples to show you how it can have a negative impact on your happiness!

What to do instead? Spend your money on experiences or time spent with loved ones. The memories will last a lifetime and will almost certainly keep you happier for longer.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you plane and theatre tickets, and those things might help in the long run.

Things like that marble sculpture of your cat probably won’t…

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Enough is enough

For those of us lucky enough to live privileged lives where we do not need to worry about food, water, and shelter, the notion of ‘enough’ is perhaps slightly foreign. What does it mean to have ‘enough’?

• Is not dying enough?
• Is having a nice house and a dog enough?
• What about that flatscreen TV and your $100,000 car?

Here’s the answer.

If you are healthy, safe, and happy, then you have enough. Simple as that.

Being happy and healthy is enough

Learning to be content with what we already have is an excellent way to avoid gaining yet more stuff.

If you realize that you’re happy with what you already have, why would you want to add to it? Seems like a waste of money. Money that could be far better spent on time and experiences with loved ones.

How to want less

Being happy with enough isn’t as easy as it sounds, is it? I don’t know about you, but I always have my eye on the newest video game or some fancy item of clothing.

How can we learn to be content? How can we teach ourselves to be happy with “enough”?

How do we stop wanting more, and start being okay with wanting less? Here are 3 tips that I find really effective!

1. Gratitude journal

I love this idea. Gratitude journals are, in case you haven’t already guessed, journals in which you record all of the things you are happy about and grateful for in your life.

By making ourselves think about the positivity around us, we can overcome our natural human instinct to focus only on the negatives. Not only will this make us generally more content with what we currently have, but this method of journaling has been shown by studies at Harvard to generally increase happiness and well-being, even encouraging beneficial habits such as exercising!

Imagine that?! You write in a book every day and suddenly you want to exercise. It’s like magic. Except it’s not. It’s science!

2. Reflection and meditation

In almost every article I write for Tracking Happiness, I find myself suggesting that meditation might be a beneficial addition to your life. It is a practice that seems to have boundless benefits made all the more impressive by its ease of access. Anyone can meditate.

Meditation is not a cure-all for mental well-being, but it’s a pretty good place to start. If journaling isn’t really your thing, just try to take the time every now and then to stop, take a breath and really think about all of the positives in your life.

Just taking time out of your day to notice the state of your life will help you to recognize what you have and what you actually, genuinely need.

Often, you will find that you already have everything that you desperately require to live a happy and fulfilled life. That realization alone is incredibly powerful.

3. Manage your expectations and desires

Sometimes we want things without actually thinking about why we want them or even knowing what it is we expect to gain from them once we have them.

As a result, it is absolutely vital that we question our motives for wanting things in the first place. Why do you want to be wealthy? Do you actually have a plan for all that money or do you just want it for the sake of having it? What is actually the point of your desire to be rich?

These are the sorts of questions that we need to be asking ourselves on a daily basis if we want to know how to be happy with less.

Realizing that the things you want are not actually that important to you, or that you don’t really have any reason for wanting them can be a powerful experience that might change your relationship with material things and ownership of superfluous items.

After all, it’s easy to feel like you need something if you never actually think about why you need it. Amazingly, wanting less can be largely achieved just by being more thorough in our examinations of our own desires and expectations.

This is a problem that you can, quite literally, think your way out of.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

We all want some things that we probably don’t need, be it a new phone, a nice dress or a whole kingdom just to ourselves, castle and all (come on, you know you want one).

In the end, wanting things is a perfectly natural and normal part of being human, as I’m sure any alien will tell you.

But when we want too much all the time, it can start to have a negative effect on our mental health. We can begin to feel that our lives are incomplete and, perhaps, unsuccessful.

By being grateful for what we have and taking time to appreciate all the positives in our lives, we can help to stave off those negative feelings before they have too much of an impact on our well-being and happiness.

Sean Bennett Author

British/German writer, blogger, theatre person and science enthusiast who is always looking to be happier! I love to travel, experience new things, and learn everything I can about the world around me.

The post 3 Methods to Want Less in Life (And be Happy with Less) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Guiding words are an excellent way to do this.

The general idea here is that having a single word theme for your journey to happiness will help to give your targets and behaviours a bit more shape. It’s a difficult concept to explain but bear with me. This article will explain everything with examples of how guiding words can help you on your journey.

The purpose of guiding words

For many of us, keeping ourselves happy and mentally healthy takes work and a commitment to self-care. And it’s that commitment that probably brought you to this blog.

So, you’ve decided to be happier. Great!

But where do you start?

See, our lives are so complicated, with so many thoughts and feelings bombarding our minds, so many tasks and tribulations challenging our moods, that it can sometimes be difficult to see what needs working on first. In the maelstrom of things that could be focused on, we can become overwhelmed and end up unable to cope.

So, what’s the solution?

For me, structure.

The idea here is to give that daunting task of managing your happiness, in all of its facets, a little bit of a trim, breaking it down into bite sized chunks or at least condensing it down to the most fundamental issues at hand.

Guiding words are an excellent way to do this.

What are guiding words?

The general idea here is that having a single word theme for your journey to happiness will help to give your targets and behaviours a bit more shape. It’s a difficult concept to explain but bear with me.

You wake up one morning and decide ‘I’m going to be happier from now on’. That’s a lovely idea, but what do you actually do about it? It’s such a broad target that it can be difficult to actually pinpoint what needs to be done to achieve the final goal. You try really hard to just ‘be happier’, but it feels like you’re climbing Everest, and you can’t even see the top.

How do guiding words help you?

Now imagine that instead of just thinking ‘I’m going to be happier’ you decide on a word, a theme, for your year, day, week, or whatever period of time you need. If that word was ‘Home’ for example, it might mean that you want to spend more time with your family, you want to work from home more often, or that you want to make sure that you keep your weekends free.

Suddenly, a number of concrete, manageable goals spring to mind, all of which will likely make you happier.

This is the beauty of guiding words. They do exactly what they say on the tin – they guide you towards happiness by shining a light on specific things in your life that need changing or attention.

Examples of guiding words

There are loads of words to choose from… technically any word in any language will do… but here are a few of my favourites.

1. Adventure

We all like to think of ourselves as intrepid adventurers, always seeking that next life-changing experience… but sometimes life itself gets in the way. Work, family and the general commitments of the day-to-day can take up so much of our time that we never have a chance to get out there and see what the world has to offer.

Now, taking ‘adventure’ as your guiding word won’t suddenly turn you into Indiana Jones, I’m afraid, but it might just shift your focus towards seizing new experiences as and when they do present themselves.

You’ll be surprised at how often opportunities come and go, and how many you may have missed because you weren’t looking. Tim Minchin, during a 2013 address to graduates at the University of Western Australia, summed this idea up perfectly while talking about the dangers of fixating on long-term goals.

“If you focus too far in front of you, you won’t see the shiny thing out the corner of your eye.”

Tim Minchin

2. Home

Life can get busy, right? If you’re lucky enough to love your job you might not even notice how much you work, or if you’re a particularly talented athlete (kudos) training might come first over all else.

There’s nothing wrong with any of this, by the way, but if you do want to have just that little more time with your family, or even just some ‘me’ time on the sofa watching Queer Eye, then talking ‘Home’ as your guiding word might just give you that kick to clock off on time every now and then, or give that training session a miss.

3. Gratitude

This is a really good one. The health benefits of gratitude are well documented, on this very blog. Not only will your mental health improve, but your physical health will as well! I know! Magic!

Unlike the other two examples, by taking ‘Gratitude’ as your guiding word you probably won’t prompt much change in your behavior, but rather a change in the way you see the world around you. This theme for your year tries to remind you to stop every once in a while and take the time to be thankful for the good in your life.

Not only will this help you to recognize when other people deserve your gratitude, which is always a good thing, but it may also help you to actually see how good your life really is. It can be easy to lose sight of the positives when we, quite naturally, fixate on the negatives. By taking ‘Gratitude’ as your word, you might just be able to combat that natural human pessimism and live a healthier and happier life.

4. Organisation

This one is fairly self-explanatory, but if you want to get right on with living by this theme, I suggest you take notes. Bullet pointed, of course.

Being organised comes naturally to some people (I shall never understand how), but for many of us (me) it most certainly does not. There are just so many things in this world that can distract you and coerce you into leaving files half-filed, plans half-made and cakes half-baked (If you’re baking a cake while reading this article, do me a favour and go check on it… just in case… is it chocolate? I like chocolate).

Ok, my hilarious use of brackets aside, this particular guiding word is actually a bit of a life changer. I can attest to the fact that putting in the effort to be just that little bit more organised does actually make life easier and happier.

Clichés like ‘Tidy desk, Tidy mind’ might be a little bit irritating, but they’re not exactly untrue… Taking ‘Organisation’ as your guiding word won’t be the quick fix to get your life all squared and neat in one easy step, it takes work and commitment. But, just like the other yearly themes, if you have the idea of organisation in the back of your mind for a while, you will start to notice that your room is a little neater, your desk is a bit cleaner and your life is just generally more orderly.

5. Presence

This is my guiding word. I figured if I’m dishing out advice it’s only fair that I tell you what I’m going to do with my own bright ideas.

It can be hard to actually live in the moment, can’t it? There are always plans to be made, challenges on the horizon and even blemishes in your past that keep you from moving forward. We spend so much of our time in our own heads that we can sometimes lose sight of what is actually going on outside of our own mental walls.

Have you ever been outside on a beautiful day, and after 20 minutes of walking realised you hadn’t even noticed the heat of the sun, the rustle of the leaves or the chirping of birds because you were too busy wrapped up in you own thoughts? I have. It’s a difficult thing to snap yourself out of, to be honest, but it’s also very much worth it.

I took ‘presence’ as my guiding word to remind me to experience life as it is happening, right now, not as it was last week or as I hope it will be next year. There is a freedom to living in the moment that, at least for me, was accompanied with a freeing of my mental health too. It’s not an easy road, but it’s still one that I really suggest taking.

After all, in the immortal words of Master Oogway, of Kung Fu Panda fame (great film, highly recommend):

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.

Just because those are the words of a fictional, animated Tortoise does not make them any less wise. After all, wisdom can come from the strangest of places.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Parting thoughts

I really like the idea of guiding words. They provide a loose structure that is both supportive and flexible. Within the parameters of your chosen word, you can still operate mostly as normal, with no major upheavals to your day-to-day life, whilst also being aware of your actions and making small, occasional changes that will eventually add up to be life-changing.

Self-improvement is hard. That’s just the way it is. But using this method it doesn’t have to feel like you’re climbing Everest. Instead, you can climb that hill in your local park, many times, over the course of a year. By the time Christmas rolls around, you probably have climbed higher, in total, on your little hill than the 8,848m of Everest, all without having to fly to Nepal and risk your fingers falling off from frostbite.

Seems like it might be worth a try, don’t you think?

Sean Bennett Author

British/German writer, blogger, theatre person and science enthusiast who is always looking to be happier! I love to travel, experience new things, and learn everything I can about the world around me.

The post Guiding Words – 5 Examples And Why You Need Them! appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Today we ask the question, what is the chemical recipe for happiness?

Oh, and for those of you who just said ‘alcohol’ with a grin and a chuckle, you are not entirely wrong… only mostly.

Dopamine

What is it?

Dopamine is a multi-functional neurotransmitter that is involved in everything from your emotions to your motor reactions.  The chemical is closely related to the more widely known Adrenaline and indeed the two function in very similar ways and have similar effects. That buzz you get after your workout? There’s more than just Adrenaline at play there.

Dopamine is one of the hormones involved in our internal reward mechanisms. Basically, when you do something that makes you feel good, that’s dopamine at work. Food, sex, exercise and social interaction can all stimulate the release of dopamine and the good feelings that come with it. Sounds nice, right?

It makes sense that these kinds of activity should be rewarded, after all. Eating keeps you alive, sex propagates the species (in a very fun way), exercise keeps you healthy and social interactions keep your mind stable and sharp. All useful traits that our brains have evolved to encourage.

Whilst it is true that this hormone can live up to its reputation as the body’s ‘happiness chemical’, Dopamine is unfortunately involved in ALL of our reward mechanisms, which includes the systems that cause addiction. Though you might think addiction is not a problem for you, studies have shown that the dopamine feedback loops created by social media and smartphones have resulted in a kind of addiction to the short term gratification from likes and shares, with up to 73% of people actually experiencing anxiety when unable to find their phones.

And, as with any hormone, too much or too little can result in serious health issues; in the case of Dopamine, these issues include Parkinson’s disease, schizophrenia and other mental afflictions.

What can you do about it?

Scary stuff aside, how can you harness the power of Dopamine to make you happier?

Well, social media doesn’t always have to be something negative, for a start. Staying in touch with our loved ones, even those who are far away, is really good for our health and dopamine levels.

Research like the Harvard Adult Development Study has shown that good quality social relationships are essential not only for our mental health, but our physical health as well. Any way in which you can keep those you love close, even if it’s digital, is worth it. But remember, just getting a like from someone or sending a friend a meme is not enough, to gain the benefits of social interaction it has to be high quality and meaningful.

Apart from that, a healthy diet and regular exercise should help regulate dopamine levels and keep you feeling happier and brighter. Perhaps not directly after a workout, but I promise it will kick in eventually! A healthy sex life is also important for the release of mood-boosting hormones, be it on your own or with a partner/partners. The chemicals involved in sex are incredibly complex and not a topic for this article, but dopamine is in there. Technically, I suppose that counts as exercise as well… and social interaction too if you’re lucky enough to have a willing other.

Serotonin

What is it?

Sleep is great. I always find that extra 5 minutes in the morning, just after you’ve hit snooze and rolled over, to be the best, don’t you? Well, along with other hormones such as cortisol and melatonin, serotonin forms part of our Circadian Rhythm, the internal biological clock that keeps our body in line with the outside cycle of night and day and dictates when and how we sleep.

Like dopamine, serotonin is a multi-faceted chemical which is involved, one way or another, in nerve cell activity, eating and digestion, nausea, blood clotting and bone health, as well as sleep and mood. In fact, this hormone is so complex that some studies seem to indicate that it is involved both in our sleep, but also in keeping us awake. Either way, it has also been linked to the regulation of happiness and anxiety, with low levels being involved with depression and OCD, among other things.

What can you do about it?

So how can we control our Serotonin levels?

Well, firstly, we have to be careful with this particular hormone, as too much of it can also have some nasty effects, including decreased arousal (not useful if you’re trying to keep your dopamine up, see above), high blood pressure and even osteoporosis, or brittle bones. Some of these symptoms come under a particular designation, known as Serotonin Syndrome.

Obviously then, simply flooding the body with this particular chemical is really not a great idea. However, Serotonin does still contribute to our mood and happiness, and though too much or too little is bad, we still have to take action to ensure the right amount is coursing through our bodies.

As with many hormones, a healthy diet and regular exercise are key to maintaining a balanced Serotonin level in the body. Interestingly though, light exposure is also a factor, with greater exposure to bright light (like the sun, for example) serving to balance out and stabilize serotonin levels and therefore improve mood. Indeed, therapy using bright lights for this exact purpose have been used to treat Seasonal Depression for a while, and with some success.

So, if you take that jog in the park on a nice sunny day, not only will you be getting your exercise in, but your serotonin levels will also respond to the light beating down on you from way up in the sky. And as a bonus, you’ll get a nice hit of vitamin D as well. So what are you waiting for? Get those trainers on… I would join you but… I’ve got a haircut… or something…

Oxytocin

What is it?

Yes, Oxytocin is the so-called ‘Love hormone’. Let’s have a closer look at what this oh-so-famous chemical actually does.

It is true that oxytocin is indeed involved in sexual pleasure and relations, as well as social bonding and maternal behavior. In fact, due to its key involvement in motherhood and breastfeeding, oxytocin was once thought to be a ‘female hormone’, but it has since been shown to exist in both sexes.

The hormone is also understood to be released during socially stressful times, including during isolation or unpleasant interactions with others, such as in dysfunctional relationships. Though this may seem counterintuitive, scientists believe that this may be the body’s way of encouraging you to seek out better, more fulfilling social interactions.

Oxytocin isn’t just a love hormone then, but a social hormone. Studies have shown that the chemical makes us more open and more prone to generosity and trust, as well as contributing to pain management. Yes, you read that right, oxytocin has been shown to not only reduce discomfort by affecting the brain’s processing of pain, but also by reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety, which are known to contribute to worsening existing pain.

It sounds like a bit of a miracle, this stuff, doesn’t it?

To be honest, Oxytocin doesn’t have quite the same kinds of downside that our previous hormones do. There is some evidence that, depending on how you form social attachments, Oxytocin might contribute to impairing memory in some way, but this is not fully understood as of yet, and the negative effects only appear to be in regard to short term memory. Essentially, there are very few caveats to the fact that this hormone is generally a good thing, with no notable side-effects from having too much of it.

What can you do about it?

So it’s great, but how do you get this stuff pumping?

Well, unsurprisingly for the ‘love hormone’, sex is a good place to start. Sexual climax stimulates a massive release of Oxytocin, along with a cocktail of other assorted chemicals, including our old friend dopamine. Thankfully, for those of us still marching through a single existence, that hormone hit doesn’t necessarily require anybody else to be involved, so you’re free to access the wonders of Oxytocin whether you’re paired up or not.

But if the above isn’t an option for you, or you’re just tired from having made the most of the situation already, there are plenty of other ways of getting that oxytocin rush. More PG affectionate behavior, such as hugging and cuddling family members, friends or even pets is a great way to get the happiness hormones flowing, as is watching an emotional film or video, or actually consuming any kind of emotional media should do the trick.

A final way to get that oxytocin high is to give birth and breastfeed. Obviously, this is not an option that is available to everyone, and even the biological females who can take this route may not wish to do so. If your only motivation for having a baby is to get that sweet hormone hit, I might suggest giving it a bit of extra thought before going ahead with the arduous task of parenthood. However, if you do have a child, oxytocin will be instrumental in the birth, in the breastfeeding and in the formation of your bond with the baby.

Endorphins

What are they?

Up until now, we’ve always been talking about single hormones which, even though they often work together with other chemicals, all have their own particular effects on the mind and body.

Endorphins, on the other hand, are not a single hormone, but rather a group of hormones that all work in similar ways. The ways in which endorphins can be separated from one and other and how we then categorize them is a story for another time (and for after I go and quickly get a biology degree), but it is safe to say that, as a group, we humans like them very much.

Endorphins activate the same receptors in the body as opioids do. These are illegal narcotics such as heroin and opium, as well as drugs used in healthcare, like morphine and codeine. It’s unsurprising, then, that people are rather fond of the way endorphins make them feel. Despite how wonderful endorphins can be, it wasn’t until the 1970’s that we started to get a handle of what was actually going on.

A study all the way back in 1984 talks about possible relationships between endorphins, pain management and exercise. That study, as it happens, was not wrong. We now know that endorphins play a crucial role in our nervous system, in particular in response to stimuli such as stress, pain or fear. These chemicals are especially good at blocking pain and controlling emotions, both of which can improve happiness.

Like other hormones, endorphins condition our behavior towards things that we need, like food, sex and social interaction. Scientists believe that the chemicals give you a feeling of happiness and satisfaction in order to

1. Let you know that you have had enough of the good thing that you were doing.
2. To encourage you to go after that good thing again in the future.

What can you do about it?

If you’re looking for that ‘runner’s high’ endorphin rush, a good start might be to… you know… go running. Or actually any form of exercise will do. This is probably the most well known and popular way of triggering an endorphin reaction in the body, and it is those hormones that make the frankly diabolical experience of working out just that little bit more palatable. They’re also the reason why you keep going back to the gym, even though you felt like death warmed over after the last time you went.

Other ways to get those chemicals flowing include meditation, alcohol, spicy foods, UV light and childbirth (not an option for all, as we’ve already discussed).

Clearly, there are plenty of ways to get that beneficial high, so why not hit the treadmill under a UV light with a curry in one hand and a beer in the other, all the while giving birth?

(Disclaimer: Do not, under any circumstances, actually try this. And if you do happen to be giving birth please seek out your physician immediately.)

Seriously though, endorphins are a great way to get your mood up and your heart pumping. So, if you are feeling a bit rough, try a run or a quick bike ride. You’ll be amazed at what a difference it could make.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Closing words

There you have it! Four different kinds of hormones, all coursing through you body at this very moment (maybe quite a lot of them, depending on how excited you got about this article) and now you are armed with the knowledge you need to harness those chemical powerhouses to make yourself happier and healthier. And if you want to cash in on those extra social hormones, why not take up exercise with a friend? Two birds with one stone, right?

Sean Bennett Author

British/German writer, blogger, theatre person and science enthusiast who is always looking to be happier! I love to travel, experience new things, and learn everything I can about the world around me.

The post Hormones Of Happiness: What Are They And What Do They Do? appeared first on Tracking Happiness.