Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Chaz Stevens, a 59-year-old South Floridian who thrives on wearing many hats. From scaling corporate ladders to launching ESADoggy, a tech company offering remote animal-assisted mental healthcare, my life has been a vibrant tapestry woven with threads of activism, art, technology, and pain. 

My professional work has taught me amazing personal life lessons – it’s where I learned the power of truly listening, not just with my ears, but with my heart.

Holding back and letting others fill the silence became a tool for building trust and understanding, and most importantly, it awakened a deep well of empathy that I didn’t know I possessed.

These lessons have become cornerstones of my relationships, both inside and outside of work, and I’m forever grateful for the unexpected wisdom my career has bestowed.

Outside the office, my passion for social justice and freedom of speech burns bright, earning me labels like “enigma” and “rebel” – badges I wear with pride. My work in this arena has graced headlines across the globe, fueled by an obsessive personality, further accentuated by my being on the autistic spectrum.

Growing up on a farm instilled in me a deep love for animals, evident in the three rescues who share my home along with my partner, my bedrock of emotional support.

Am I happy? On the surface, absolutely. You’ll find me radiating happiness, joy, and conviviality. But beneath the surface, the constant churn of life’s pressures can bring its fair share of struggles.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Even though I built a mental health company, it took me years to finally see the need for a clinician I’d preach about from the rooftops. Just didn’t realize the personal benefit. Running into that same brick wall of self-doubt, one faceplant at a time, finally convinced me to seek outside professional wisdom. And boy, was it the best decision I ever made.

Therapy has unearthed the buried treasure of self-understanding. Turns out, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and the autism spectrum were just part of my story.

Painfully shy, armed with an IQ exceeding my shoe size, and tripping over social cues like a newborn giraffe, school wasn’t exactly a cakewalk. Having never fit in, I began to drink at age 9, eventually developing full-on alcoholism that took me deep into later life to conquer.

Raised by a Vulcan with a PhD in stoicism, empathy wasn’t part of the curriculum. Instead, I honed my wit until it could deliver one-liners sharper than a samurai sword. And with a parent whose mental gymnastics could win Olympic gold, well, let’s just say my life was…colorful.

This cocktail of quirks, and the many cocktails in my belly, taught me to bury my needs under layers of self-reliance, swallow emotions like box wine, and become the hero in everyone else’s story while my own script remained blank.

But I’m finally cracking the code. I’m learning to untangle the knots, face the monsters in the shadows, and maybe, just maybe, rewrite my ending.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

If there’s one thing I could impart, it’s this: the insidious part of toxic relationships is how they make the absurd feel commonplace. I remember Mom guilt-tripping me to avoid a two-day road trip to see a dying friend – as I’m told she’s also dying. I went, tears drying on my cheeks, somehow finding the courage to finally stand up for myself.

Dealing with Mom’s narcissism meant I was always pouring, never refilling. It wasn’t just about material things or time; it was my emotional energy, constantly siphoned to fuel the fire of her needs. This pattern, sadly, spilled over into my adult relationships. I found myself drawn to, and even attracting, people who craved validation at my expense.

Along with false idols, beware of false friends, business partners, and lovers.

“When Mom’s unhappy, everyone’s unhappy,” my internal mantra whispered, echoing the warped reality of my childhood.

But here’s the kicker: “everyone” turned out to be a select few. My own happiness, the very oxygen I needed to thrive, became an afterthought, easily tucked away under layers of self-sacrifice, whiskey, and doubt.

Unraveling this tangled mess hasn’t been easy, but with therapy and a personality turbo-charged by OCD, I’m learning to listen to my inner voice, the one that whispers, “It’s okay to prioritize your own needs.” It’s a slow climb, and I hope there’s enough time remaining on the clock to get the job done.

2019 simmered like a noxious stew – stale silence punctuated by Dad’s confused shouts, and the omnipresent tang of antiseptic. Moving back to care for my ailing parents (cancer and Alzheimer’s), what was meant to be a six-month sprint turned into a marathon in slow motion, courtesy of COVID’s unwelcome intrusion.

Four years of unrelenting care wore me down like sandpaper on driftwood. Mom’s falling and dying at my feet left a hollow crater in my chest, not the expected sob storm, but a numbness that refused to thaw.

Dad’s descent into dementia felt like watching a ship vanish into a thick fog, piece by piece. Dementia is a ghastly disease, whiting out a soul in the most dehumanizing of ways. Each memory lost, each confused accusation like a shard in my heart.

“Yesterday,” they say, “was the best last day for one suffering from dementia.”

With GAD already gnawing at the edges of my sanity, these past years felt like a high-wire act over an abyss. Sleep became a stranger, my chest a drum solo of racing anxiety.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

For a decade, my sisters lifted not a finger in help or support, leaving me to fend for and tend to the mess.

October stole Mom with a bang – an actual bang as her head hit the tile floor. Her passing didn’t bring tears, but a relief. Dad’s dementia had already cast a long shadow, yet his January departure, three months later, felt like a cold, starless night.

In May, I found myself in the sterile embrace of the ER, my heart battered by anxiety’s relentless storm. ObamaCare, bless its bureaucratic soul, was the lifeline that pulled me back from the brink.

A constellation of medication, and heart surgery, along with the unconditional love of my rescues and the unwavering support of a true friend, became my scaffolding back to life. Each day, I chipped away at the debris, taking tentative steps out of the rubble.

No more dodging airborne diapers, no more tiptoeing around emotional landmines. With Mom and Dad gone, space bloomed for my own needs, a concept that had felt unthinkable before.

Dad’s voice, faint but insistent, whispered his mantra through the fog: “This too shall pass.” It wasn’t just a platitude; it was a life raft. One shaky step at a time, I clung to it, navigating the choppy waters of grief and healing. Today, the sun finally peeks through again on occasion.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Overcoming the emotional turmoil and physical toll of caregiving for my parents, coupled with my own anxiety struggles, wasn’t an overnight feat. It’s been a gradual climb, a journey paved with small steps, hard-won lessons, and all-too-often setbacks.

For years, I didn’t realize wearing a “Perfectionist/No Complainer” cape meant shouldering responsibilities and emotions alone. That nearly killed me. The turning point came when I admitted my limitations, accepted my vulnerability, and reached out for help. Lean on your support system, be it family, friends, or professional therapists. 

My therapist, an amazing fellow, helped me untangle the knot of grief, anxiety, and self-neglect, offering a safe space to process the emotional upheaval. Remember, seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a courageous act of self-care.

There was a time, not so long ago, when the thought of admitting I needed help choked me like dust in a dry throat. The unrelenting need to find personal fault, a stubborn weed, had rooted itself deep.

But in the face of my therapist’s unwavering support, and remembering Dad’s whispered “This too shall pass,” I finally pulled it up, root and all. Reaching out felt like stepping into sunlight, blinking away years of self-inflicted shadows.

My PsyD, bless his insightful soul, didn’t just hand me a toolbox; he showed me how to use it. Mindfulness, that fancy word for “pay attention to your now,” became my shield against anxiety. It was in those quiet moments, eyes closed, breath steady, that I began to accept the kaleidoscope within me.

Why was I so different? Why did social cues dance like fireflies while others waltzed through them? Layer by layer, I uncovered the reasons, the hidden melodies beneath the noise.

Turns out, my hyper-empathy, the very trait that nearly drowned me in caregiving was also my superpower. It allowed me to connect with animals and people on a level most couldn’t fathom, and now, it fuels my work at ESADoggy.

Being neuro-divergent isn’t a bug; it’s a feature, albeit one that comes with its own quirks. Like that time I wore mismatched socks to a conference, convinced they were twins separated at birth. Yeah, that’s my brain on parade.

But here’s the thing: these “quirks” also fuel my creativity, my art, my humor, and my fierce determination. Accepting them wasn’t just surrender; it was a victory dance, a celebration of all I am, weird socks and all.

As Oscar Wilde once said, “Be you, since everyone else is already taken.”

Love yourself.

Putting myself on the back burner for years had depleted my emotional and physical reserves. Healing required a shift in focus. I started small: nourishing my body with healthy meals, carving out time for quiet walks around the neighborhood, and practicing mindfulness exercises.

These steps, seemingly insignificant, were the foundation stones of my recovery. They reminded me that I wasn’t just a caregiver; I was also a human being deserving of love and care.

I was never taught nor shown the need to love myself; just breaks my heart to look back at the acid I was encouraged to throw on my soul.

Rediscover your passion.

The past decade had shrouded my passions in dust. I’ve begun to brush them off, rediscovering the joy of writing, the comfort of Coltrane, and the thrill of red paint. Immersing myself in activities I loved reignited a spark within me, reminding me of who I was beyond the burdens I carried. Whether it’s painting, dancing, or playing an instrument, find what ignites your soul and fan the flames of your own inner light.

Learn to say no.

People-pleasing had been my default setting, leading to resentment and exhaustion. Setting boundaries, even with loved ones, became crucial. Learning to say “no” without guilt, and to prioritize my own well-being, was a game-changer. It wasn’t easy, but it empowered me to reclaim control and create space for healthy relationships, including the one with myself.

If you don’t set boundaries, you should learn how … they were so confusing to me at first, like what? Now, I can’t imagine life without them.

Power of forgiveness

Forgiving myself for any perceived shortcomings as a caregiver, and forgiving others for their roles in the situation, was a heavy weight lifted, and is still a work in progress. Holding onto anger and resentment only poisoned me further. Forgiveness wasn’t about condoning actions; it was about releasing the burden and freeing myself to move forward.

Remember, these are just the stepping stones I used. Your path might look different, and that’s okay. The key is to be kind to yourself, celebrate every small victory, and trust that within you lies the strength to heal and emerge stronger. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if needed, and remember, you are not alone in this journey.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Opening up about my struggles wasn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. Sharing the depths of my emotional turmoil felt like handing out emotional hand grenades, and who to pull the pin on was a delicate choice.

My rock, unsurprisingly, was my incredible partner. She witnessed the unraveling firsthand, the tear-stained mornings and the anxiety-riddled nights. But she never wavered, a sturdy lighthouse guiding me through the storm. Sharing with her wasn’t a confession; it was a shared breath, a whispered vulnerability met with unwavering support.

If you find someone like that, hang on for dear life, as I suspect they are few and far between.

Friends, on the other hand, were a mixed bag. Some, the ones who’d seen glimpses of the emotional maelstrom beneath the surface, became confidantes. We traded stories of grief, anxiety, and the absurdities of life, finding solace in shared vulnerability. Others, however, remained comfortably on the sunny side of my life, the cheerleaders unaware of the hidden battles behind the smile.

As for colleagues, work remained a carefully curated haven. My professional mask stays firmly in place, any cracks meticulously hidden beneath a veneer of productivity and humor. Even though I’m surrounded by a large amazing team of licensed providers, my ethics demand silence.

Openly sharing mental health struggles is a tightrope walk, balancing the need for connection with the fear of judgment. It’s easier to wear a social mask, to project the “everything’s fine” persona – a rather difficult challenge for those on the spectrum, as those very rules seem impenetrable.

However, there’s a power in vulnerability, in letting others see the cracks and crevices in our seemingly perfect facades. It’s a gamble, yes, but sometimes, it’s the gamble that leads to unexpected support, shared experiences, and a deeper understanding of ourselves and those around us.

You are not the only one with problems, and through that, you might find a helping hand.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Find yourself a licensed provider, speak to more than one, and find one that is right for you. They are out there, as I’ve met amazing therapists who are even better human beings (yes, I’ve hired them! Smile) …

They might have your answers, they likely know the right questions to ask, and they’ve heard it all before.

I am alive today, writing these words, because of the care I’ve sought and received.

I hope my story and these insights offer a flicker of hope and guidance to anyone facing similar struggles. May you find your own path to healing, light, and a life filled with joy, love, and self-compassion.

You are worth it and deserve that and much more.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

None. My podcasts are nerdier in nature, however, if you’d like to learn more about astrobiophysics, I’d be happy to have that chat!

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can learn more about ESADoggy or me on Wikipedia!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Therapy and Self-Care Helped Me Navigate Autism, Alcoholism, and Caregiver Stress appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi! I’m Tiffany McGee, spirituality and relationship expert, and founder of Nomadrs — a popular site focused on spirituality, relationships, mental wellness, and lifestyle.

I consider myself a digital nomad and my website is completely inspired by my nomadic experiences around the world. Currently, I’m enjoying the beautiful landscapes and rich culture of Georgia, where I’m based for a few weeks.

Professionally, I run Nomadrs, write and edit articles, and communicate daily with my team of writers from all corners of the globe. Besides, I constantly engage with a global community that shares my enthusiasm for travel, spirituality, and wellness.

On the personal front, I’m in a long-distance relationship with my partner who lives in Austria. The distance can be challenging, but it’s also a testament to the strength and depth of our connection.

Back in Vienna, I’m the proud owner of three adorable poodles. They’re my fluffy bundles of joy, and although I miss them while traveling, they’re in the best hands with my partner.

Speaking of happiness, yes, I do consider myself a happy person. This lifestyle, the people I meet, the places I see, and the work I do—all of it contributes to a sense of fulfillment and joy in my life.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Two years ago, I received a diagnosis that reshaped my understanding of myself: major depression. Alongside depression, I also struggled with anxiety, burnout, and panic attacks, so it was sort of comorbid. 

The symptoms were diverse: feelings of sadness and hopelessness, physical exhaustion that didn’t improve with rest, and moments of intense, overwhelming anxiety that culminated in panic attacks. The problem was not only psychological – my hormones were out of balance as well.

Back then, I had a traditional 9-5 job. The stress from this job, coupled with a feeling that my life was just an endless cycle of work with no real fulfillment or balance, played a significant role in the onset of my depression. 

As time went on, these issues started to affect me more and more. Some days were slightly better and initially, I tried to brush them off as just stress or a temporary bad phase.

But as the months passed, it became clear that my condition deeply impacted my daily life, my work performance, and my relationships.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At my worst, the struggle with depression made me feel like I was stuck in a deep, dark place. Happiness seemed far away, and I was always in a bad mood. I wasn’t even trying to hide it — I just didn’t fully understand how bad it was. 

My friends and partner could tell something was wrong, especially with my constant moodiness and my health issues, like irregular periods. It was a tough time where I felt disconnected from everything, not really aware of how much I was actually struggling.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Now I realize that I had that moment. Back then, when I was dealing with depression, everything seemed so blurred, like I was looking at my life through a foggy window. 

But the moment of clarity came unexpectedly. It was during a particularly tough week when I hadn’t left my small apartment for days, and my living space was cluttered with unwashed dishes and unopened emails. 

I was sitting on the floor and aimlessly scrolling through podcasts that I hoped would lift my mood. It was one of those podcasts that made me realize my body was screaming for help.

If I remember correctly, it was one of the episodes from Christina The Channel on Spotify about amenorrhea (It’s a pity I stopped journaling and didn’t even make any kinds of notes. I felt at my worst so I couldn’t see how these reflections could affect me in the future). Anyway, it wasn’t as widely known, but something about an episode on dealing with stress and anxiety resonated deeply with me. 

I can’t say that listening to these podcasts actually improved my condition. But this process was indeed important to push me towards finally receiving professional help.

This podcast episode made me realize that my body and mind were more connected than I had ever thought. And it was a wake-up call to take my health more seriously.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I completely changed my daily routine and the way I understood the concepts of “health” and “well-being”. I’d like to discuss the main steps I took that may inspire others who deal with the same problem:

1) My first step was engaging in online therapy, as leaving home felt too overwhelming. My therapist played a crucial role in guiding me through this journey.

She encouraged me to undergo medical checkups, which led to getting my hormone levels checked and eventually starting on medication. This medical intervention, combined with therapy, laid the foundation for my healing process.

2) My therapist suggested me to join her mindfulness meditation practices. I joined her sessions, which were conducted in a small community setting.

This experience was more than just learning to meditate — it was about connecting with others who were on similar paths and finding hope in shared experiences. Being part of this group helped me to stay committed to the practice and provided a sense of belonging.

3) I tried to continue what was once my hobby — journaling. However, I found it to be rather challenging — focusing on writing was difficult. As a solution, I opted for video journaling.

I would record myself talking about my progress and feelings. Most of these videos are hard for me to watch now. They often involved tears and intense self-reflection. But these recordings were sort of like catharsis, they helped me process and release pent-up emotions.

4) I made a promise to myself to prioritize self-care. This meant resting when needed, indulging in simple pleasures like watching childhood movies, and easing up on previously strict rules around food and exercise.

I realized that being too restrictive wasn’t helping my recovery. Allowing myself these small liberties played a huge role in my overall well-being.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I felt quite comfortable sharing my experiences with those close to me, particularly my partner and friends. They were aware of all the details of my struggle. I chose not to share anything about my mental health struggles with my parents, though.

They weren’t living in the same country as me, and I didn’t want to add to their worries or stress them out. At that time, it seemed like the right decision to keep them out of the loop to protect them. 

However, as time passed and I began to understand and manage my mental health better, I opened up to them. Now, they know everything about my experience. 

Today, I don’t have any reservations about sharing my experiences. In fact, I believe it’s important to be open about mental health struggles. Working in the wellness niche, I feel it’s part of my responsibility to set an example for my readers. 

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

If someone finds themselves in a situation similar to what I experienced, my advice would be to listen to your body, not just your mind. Often, our bodies give us the first signals that something isn’t right.

It can be symptoms like exhaustion, changes in appetite, or sleep disturbances. Just don’t ignore them — they are often the key to understanding and starting to address deeper issues.

There were times when I was hard on myself, thinking I should be able to ‘snap out of it.’ But mental health doesn’t work that way. It’s a journey that requires time, care, and often, professional support. That’s why you need to be gentle with yourself.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Masterclass “Developing Your Personal Power” from Ideapod’s co-founder Justin Brown — I took this masterclass in the middle of my headline process. The main idea of it is to understand the subconscious patterns that often hold us back.
  It helped me identify and break free from limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns that were deeply ingrained in my psyche. I think this resource might be one of the reasons why my perspective toward mental wellness changed for good.
• Rudá Iandê’s shamanic Breathwork exercise — In the beginning, I was pretty skeptical about relaxation techniques and exercises widely available on the internet. But somehow, this one did make a difference.
  The instructor of this course is a shaman, Rudá Iandê, whose methods are deeply rooted in ancient wisdom yet perfectly applicable to modern life challenges. The breathwork sessions were therapeutic to me. I have to admit that he has multiple other resources (I tried 3-4 of them) and they still inspire and guide me.
• Huberman Lab’s Podcast — I’m sure it’s a familiar podcast to anyone who’s into mental health podcasts on Spotify. Listening to this podcast helped me gain a scientific perspective on mental health issues, including depression and anxiety.
  The episodes provided me with insights into how our brains work, the impact of stress and hormones on our mental state, and practical, science-backed strategies for improving mental health. This knowledge still inspires my content and advice on Nomadrs.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You’re welcome to explore my website, Nomadrs, where you’ll find a range of blog posts focusing on mental wellness, spirituality, and the digital nomad lifestyle.

You can also connect with me on social media for more personal updates and daily inspirations. Here’s the Facebook page of Nomadrs.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

I’d like to point out the importance of building a support network throughout my journey.

I believe that the role of a strong, understanding support system is invaluable, especially when you’re struggling with mental health issues. When you know that you have people who listen and provide encouragement, it can make a significant difference. 

My heartfelt advice to anyone feeling down or struggling is to reach out to someone. It could be a friend, a family member, a therapist, or even a support group.

Go ahead and simply share what you’re going through. Sometimes, just knowing that there is someone who listens and understands can bring immense relief and perspective.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Therapy and Medication Helped Me Overcome Depression, Anxiety and Burnout From Work appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, I’m Melissa. I live in Germany in an old farmhouse complex with 4 generations of my family. There’s me with my boyfriend and baby daughter. My parents and 94-year-old grandmother live in separate apartments next door.

I’m a passionate yoga teacher & used to be a full-time retail manager, but gave that up earlier this year (Aug 23) on my quest for further self-discovery, finding more work-life happiness, and fulfillment in life.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Burnout and adaptation disorder.

After being told I can’t have children I felt like I had failed in my natural life purpose. I didn’t really want children, I was more career-focused, but I would have at least liked to have had the choice.

I was a frustrated workaholic not knowing what I wanted in life so I clung to my job because that was always going forward. I was diagnosed with burnout for the first time in 2016. 

I ignored the symptoms. I was constantly questioning life, found it hard to find excitement in getting up and ready for the day, and constantly led fictive aggressive conversations in my head with my boyfriend, colleagues, family, and friends.

I thought it was normal, as we live in an overstimulated world where you never seem satisfied. I thought I was a spoiled brat, not being appreciative of life. I had everything: a relationship, a roof over my head, and a great job that just kept getting ‘better’, which made my inner conflict even worse. Why was I unhappy? 

After struggling with several miscarriages I started doing yoga, and little by little I started to gain clarity over my desires and feelings. Realizing my life was out of place, led to even more frustration.

I dug deeper into yoga only to find more clarity, but with the clarity also came anger and resentment. I didn’t feel respected in my relationship, making me cling to my workplace even more, because there I was a manager and people respected me.

But I was a people-pleasing manager, always putting myself last which was also a stressor, but I didn’t realize this until later. Sometimes you need to get rid of one blockage in order to reveal and become clear on the others. 

So one day I had the guts to dump my boyfriend after 17 years of manipulative belittling and dove into the arms of my now-boyfriend the very next day. I thought all my problems would be solved, but then my dissatisfaction with my job started to rise and got extreme over the years.

Thank goodness I became pregnant and stayed so this time, I stopped working as my pregnancy was at high risk, this gave me the chance to gain distance from my anger towards work. 

Knowing the old job was not at all family friendly nor was I feeling fulfilled by it. I began to take my yoga career more seriously (2021), helping people gain clarity as I did. It was not paying the bills, but I loved it and still do.

But the day I had to go back to work kept creeping closer, and so did my cortisol levels and anxiety attacks. So I decided to quit, become jobless, and be ashamed of failure once more.

The psychologist diagnosed me with an ‘adaptation disorder’ (2023) meaning that I can’t/or don’t want to adapt to my situation in the outside world.

This diagnosis was a slap in the face and simultaneously woke me up from living in denial. The constant urge to adapt myself to things that no longer suited me.

I still suffer from the old relationship and job I quit, as they accompanied me for such a long time in life leaving deep imprints in my behavior and thoughts. This mess is still slowly unraveling day by day.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I was struggling with panic attacks, eating unhealthy, and sleeping all day (so it would be over sooner) I’d cry myself to sleep at night and when I wanted to feel better I’d drown myself with alcohol until I passed out.

I spoke openly about all my problems to family and friends (but I tried to hide the alcohol problem). I was so often told to leave my relationship and my job, and indeed that was what I was longing to hear deep inside, but I was somehow attached to the toxic relationships. They had become my ‘safe zone’ – the unknown was more scary than staying with the pain.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

When I became pregnant and it stayed, It was a shock as I was told I’d never be able to have children due to chemotherapy I had at the age of 16. Suddenly I felt this urge to take action and get my life sorted out.

My life was no longer only about me. I realized clearer than ever that my workplace wasn’t going to work with a family. I started to feel lost and needed a plan.

At the same time, I was afraid to lose the child, and looking for an online course (Corona Limits at the time, 2021), a guide through pregnancy with yoga included. I couldn’t find one to suit my needs so I decided to become a prenatal yoga teacher myself. 

This was when the idea was born to teach other pregnant women. And there was nothing more rewarding. I created my own online course.

This was the first step I took to my NOW-life, the main turning point in realizing my job was toxic. I realized that teaching yoga and helping students get unstuck lit me up.

I decided I wanted more, and have been moving in this direction ever since. The more people I can help the more the happiness floods into my days. This reflects on my health, the way I treat others, and myself.

If I would have taken more time to tune into myself in the first place, I would have realized this much sooner. But I never gave myself the time to think a thought to an end.

100% of my improvement was a result of doing yoga and learning to pay attention to things that no longer served me. Leading to better circumstances: healthy relationships and pregnancy. 

And then 50% of my improvement was due to my circumstances of being a mother with a new perspective, and 50% of the actions I took out of these new circumstances: the ambition to sort out my life, leave my job, and get help.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I went to a psychiatrist to have my sanity approved for ‘myself’. I wanted to do it because at one point I thought I was going crazy. Family and friends were at one point no longer an objective source of advice, so I trusted my gut and got help.  

Sometimes it can help to get the opinion of a ‘professional stranger’ free of any emotional connection to you. This helped me gain so much simplicity in my complex problems.

The thing I didn’t like was that he immediately wanted to put me on medication, although I had just had a mental breakthrough. A total shift of thought patterns that needed to be digested. I refused to take them and asked for a second appointment in the near future instead. He decided to give it a shot and it worked.

Before deciding to take any antidepressants, sleep over it. Numbing things out won’t necessarily make them go away. But working with and through your problems will.

It doesn’t mean that you’ll feel like the pain never existed, but you learn to live with it. It’s part of your life experience which makes you who you are. 

Furthermore, don’t underestimate the power of yoga. With the relief of bodily tension, trapped emotions are set free. Hidden blockages coming from self-limiting beliefs, trauma, and more. Untangling these can be both confusing and liberating.

Bringing things up to work with from your subconscious. For me, it brought up unexplainable feelings that eventually led to realizations that helped me take action and move toward a better life. That’s why I became a teacher.

I still haven’t healed from my situation fully. I have days where my thoughts spiral around the thought that I wasted half of my life putting up with things that broke my own values. But I know it’s most likely never going to happen again.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Yes, I share my story openly hoping to help others gain clarity faster, helping them on their path to self-reflection and eventually enlightenment.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Take more time for yourself, and learn to trust your gut. It’s crucial to stay in touch with your true needs and values, maintaining a healthy mindset and a balanced life.

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get lost in the sea of responsibilities, endless opportunities, and distractions and forget about ourselves.

Taking a few moments every day to focus on ourselves, journal our thoughts and feelings, and disconnect from screens can help us reconnect with our true inner selves.

This sounds simple but it’s hard work and can be very confusing and frustrating. But I strongly believe that numbing out your feelings with medication won’t get you anywhere. The problems will remain when you drop the meds, and you’ll be in the same place you were before.

I like to compare it with a plant starting as a seed: It keeps on growing non stop pushing its way through all the soil (your inner resistance and struggles)

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

Burnt Toast by Terry Hatcher was my first inspiration for self-care.

George Kelly – Personal Construct Theory: This book helped me understand the complexity of each individual and how they perceive the world from a completely different view even if they are seeing exactly what you’re seeing – sounds simple but it’s an eye-opener.

Ina May – Guide to Childbirth: Not only for pregnant women! This book helped me understand that you need to let go, heal, and process your subconscious blockages in order to give birth to something. I know this book is about how women have trouble giving birth when they are emotionally blocked, and in my opinion, it transfers to most things in life. Not only a baby but also art, music, creativity, being yourself, etc.

(Not a book.. but) Do Yoga! I encourage anyone who feels in any way stuck to practice any type of yoga. Because during yoga practice, you are fully indulged with your thoughts in the body and not in the mind. This pause is essential for breakthroughs and deep connections to your own inner self – which is not comparable to anyone else.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me here, or find me on Yoga Alliance, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Struggle With Burnout and Adaptation Disorder and How Yoga Helped Me Find Clarity appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Tatyana Frost and I live in Manchester New Hampshire. I work in social work and have worked as a clinical mental health case manager, but recently accepted a new position as an inpatient mental health counselor.

It can be a challenge to work in mental health while struggling with your own, but it has provided me with copious amounts of perspective and knowledge which not only allows me to help others, but also myself.

I am currently engaged to my amazing partner and we are planning our wedding for October of next year. We have two kitty cats together, Kimchi and Frittata and they are my whole world!

Most days I would say I consider myself to be satisfied and pleased with my life, but I would say this is a fairly recent development. I have always struggled with what I call my “deep down sadness” which often interrupts my ability to feel secure and joyful in life.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I began to struggle with my mental health when I was really young. I’ve kept diaries my whole life and the first record I have of wanting to kill myself was when I was about 9 years old.

I have a trauma history dating back to before I could speak when I was taken out of my home in Ulyanovsk, Russia due to neglect and suspected abuse.

I was adopted by my new family when I was about 3 years old and taken to the States. I struggled with being adopted a lot; I felt like I was an unwanted, unlovable, and undeserving child.

My adoptive family provided me with a great life but could be very emotionally, verbally, and at times physically abusive. I grew up chronically invalidated and gaslit, being told that my feelings were unimportant or wrong.

My mother made me feel as though nothing I did was ever enough to please her and pushed shame onto me when she was feeling insecure. I always felt as though I was responsible for my parent’s inability to manage their emotions and that I was the problem. 

As a teenager, my depression worsened but I struggled to speak up since mental health was a taboo topic of discussion in my family. Besides, at the time I thought that everyone was feeling the way I did inside.

That was when I began self-harming for the first time. I had heard about it and thought that since that’s what others did to feel better, it would make me feel better too. Self-harming became a regular coping skill I would utilize whenever my mom and I would fight, which was often.

My first episode of mania was when I was about 17. I had never been manic before, and my naturally hyperactive personality created an easy-to-wear mask for this symptom.

I began staying up for days, experiencing rapid speech, and most notably, delusions and paranoia. I would hide when I thought there were people watching me outside, and at one point believed I could fly.

The delusions got worse as the mania increased, but seemingly out of nowhere, the mania would turn into severe depression. I struggled to get out of bed and watched myself fail a test for the first time. These vicious cycles went on uninterrupted for months, causing daily struggles.

I tried to talk to my mom about what was going on, but she told me that I was just lonely and my iron was low. She refused to let me see a therapist and eventually, my school counselor had to step in for me to get any help. 

The summer before my senior year I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital for suicidal ideation with plan, means, and intent. After about a one-month stay I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type 1 with psychotic features.

I was hospitalized two times again after that, the second time for symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and the third time for symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I was assaulted in February of 2023 by my self-defense instructor and it made my BPD and PTSD symptoms significantly worse than they had been in a very long time.

Almost daily I would have horrible nightmares, flashbacks, episodes of dissociation, and blind rage where I would self-harm and damage things in my home. It became very scary and overwhelming for my partner to see me going through something that neither he nor I knew how to control.

More than anything impacted my ability to work as a mental health professional. I had to reduce from full-time to part-time at work which caused even more internal shame. 

These days my Bipolar Disorder is mainly managed through medication which I take daily. I still experience minor episodes of mania and depression but not to the same extreme as without my medication.

My BPD and PTSD symptoms are still a daily struggle, but my weekly sessions with a trauma therapist doing Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Rapid Desensitization (EMDR), and Polyvagal Theory help to keep some of my symptoms in check. I still struggle daily with emotional dysregulation and occasional dissociative symptoms. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Before my diagnosis, these illnesses provided me with nothing but confusion and stigma. I knew something was wrong, but didn’t know what. It was draining to be fighting an illness with no support, and felt defeated for every day was a challenge that felt impossible to win.

I think I did try to hide it in the beginning because I was in denial myself, but eventually, I knew that hiding it was only hurting me. I was rejected by my family when I reached out for support, and that only caused more internal shame. I felt alone and depressed simply knowing that others were not seeing my struggle and not listening to my desperate cries for help.

When I was eventually diagnosed, I had to grieve the life I thought I would have. After each of my diagnoses, I felt as though my life would never be what I always imagined it to be. And in a lot of ways, it wasn’t.

In a lot of ways, it was better. My diagnosis gave my healthcare providers and myself direction for my treatment. In 2022 I was in a place of maintenance with my treatment. 

After being assaulted in February 2023 I felt like a completely different person. My symptoms of PTSD and BPD were completely unmanageable. I felt like a completely different person and had no idea how to go through life.

These struggles were very obvious to my fiancé, but neither of us knew what to do about it. These symptoms I could not hide no matter how badly I wanted to. When I wasn’t working I was self-medicating, and even at work there were many times where I broke down emotionally.

I felt a lot of pressure from myself to hide these symptoms, to pretend as if that event didn’t change me. Even now, I haven’t completely processed it and still feel as though I haven’t gotten myself back. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I think the first time that I noticed things turning around was probably when I went to college. For the first time, I was able to find myself away from the judgment and control of my parents.

I had taken control over aspects of my life that I had, up until that point, felt uncontrollable: my eating, my routine, and exercise, and my social circles. All of which positively impacted my mental health. I would say 70% of circumstances and 30% of actions resulted in the bettering of my mental health.

However, it wasn’t perfect, and I quickly learned that relapse is a part of recovery. During my second semester in college, I was hospitalized again and that stay was another turning point for me.

Each hospitalization taught me something new and reminded me that improving your mental health is a lifelong project. I had a few months period of stability before COVID hit and I had to move back into my parents’ house.

After moving back in with my parents, I learned that living in that toxic environment took a huge toll on my mental health and I decided to move out and into my aunt’s house. This was another time in my life where I had relapsed in my mental health symptoms and it took me months to get to a more stable place. 

After about a year of living with my aunt and desperately trying to salvage my relationship with my parents, I moved to New Hampshire with my then-boyfriend, now fiance’, in 2021.

I really struggled with that transition and my relationship with my parents since moving out was still extremely strained. I once again fell back into unhealthy habits and patterns – self-medicating, isolating, self-harming. It wasn’t until a year after moving to New Hampshire that I felt as though I found my footing.

A combination of medication, time, regular exercise, and intentional efforts in therapy brought me to a place of maintenance with my mental health struggles. My mental health has continued to have ups and downs since then, especially after my assault in February of this year.

It spent several months living in a reactive state after the assault and struggling to get back to a place of good physical and mental health. I am still recovering from that experience and I know that I will throughout the rest of my life have consistent periods of relapse and recovery – but to think that recovery is simple and happens all at once would be naive. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Over the years there have been countless things I have learned from my mental health treatment. One of the biggest things that has continued to help me along my journey with mental health is education.

After being diagnosed with Bipolar, BPD, and PTSD the first thing I would always do is buy a book, watch a video, read an article, etc. Working in the field now and being an advocate online, this is the first thing I always recommend people do after any diagnosis.

It’s hard to help yourself or know what you need without understanding first what beat you’re dealing with. It can be helpful to look at the DSM 5 diagnostic criteria, however, I personally think it’s more helpful to read testimonials and find people online or in your own life with the same diagnosis.

Keep in mind that everyone’s experience with mental illness is different, even if you have the same diagnosis. When I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, I loved Kay Redfield Jamison’s memoir An Unquiet Mind. That particular author has written a couple of books on the subject and as a psychologist herself shares her story very openly.

To this day, it is my favorite memoir of someone with Bipolar 1. I spent a lot of time watching educational documentaries and first-hand accounts of others with the same diagnosis. It helped me to feel less alone and also to educate myself.

After my BPD diagnosis, I really struggled to understand what BPD was and how it impacted me. The book, I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me provided me with the diagnostic criteria, case studies, and tips and tricks for managing my symptoms.

The value in doing this is not only so that you yourself know what you’re dealing with, but also so that you can help others in your life better understand. 

One of the best things I did for my Bipolar Disorder was to track my symptoms and episodes. I used the eMoods app for this. I started doing it after being given the suggestion myself and found that it was invaluably helpful.

Once I began tracking my symptoms in relation to sleep, irritability, mania, depression, whether I took my meds, and whether I had therapy, it helped me see my own cycles.

Not only did it give me an idea of when I would cycle into a depression or mania and how long it would last, but it also was helpful to share with my providers so that they knew what was coming and how they could help me.

I learned that my cycles usually last about a month or so and that not sleeping or taking my meds can be a huge trigger. In the app, I was also able to add notes. I would track my self-harming habits, whether I was menstruating, or if there were any additional psychological stressors going on at the time. 

I also found that having routines did wonders. A consistent sleep and exercise routine kept me on a positive track with my symptoms. Sleep has always been a huge trigger for me – without sleep, I am more likely to enter a manic episode.

Working a job kept me on a stable sleep routine and also gave me a daily routine to adhere to. Exercise has always been something I have struggled with but once I found a way to exercise that was good for me, it was amazing how it lifted my energy and self-confidence.

I have always found that yoga was a great practice for me as it has a mind and body effect to it. Outlets for your daily stressors that can also better your physical health can be an important part of mental wellness.

However, for those who don’t like exercising, having any outlet is helpful. I also like to unleash my creativity through music, art, journaling, and theater. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

In the beginning, I held a lot of inner shame and stigma about my diagnosis. I had a hard time talking to those who I knew were not understanding, such as family members.

However, I have always cared about being the change you want to see in the world. After my first hospitalization at 17, I returned to high school late that summer due to being in treatment. It was a tradition at my school to share a presentation about how your summer went and what you did.

I spent most of my summer in a mental hospital recovering from severe depression and mania. I felt very conflicted about sharing this, and for a while, I tried to decide if I would instead create an elaborate lie for my presentation. No one in my school knew, and I wasn’t sure I wanted them to.

After an internal battle for a few weeks, I made the decision to share my hospital experience in the presentation. I realized that the shame and stigma I felt were residue of the stigma that society told me I should be feeling, and I wanted to do better. I focused my entire presentation on my hospital stay, and while I didn’t go into too many details, I was proud of myself for not adding to the shame. 

It was hard in the beginning, and I had experiences where I thought I was safe to share and ended up realizing I wasn’t. There was a girl I met at a pre-college event that I told about my diagnosis and I ended up regretting her response which was shrouded in miseducation.

She told me that she, too, had mood swings and maybe she was Bipolar. It made me feel as though she wasn’t taking it seriously and invalidated the very real symptoms I was experiencing.

Mood swings are a normal part of life that everyone has. Bipolar Disorder is more than mood swings. While I have always cared about advocacy, I also recognized that I am not responsible for educating everyone in the world; I am not the sole spokesperson for the illness, and I wasn’t open with everyone even when I wished I could be.

Later in life I started casually dating a guy who I planned to tell about my diagnosis, but ended up changing my mind when he shared previous negative experiences with someone in his life who also had Bipolar.

I wonder now if it would have been okay, but at the time I was worried that his negative point of view on the illness would have a ripple effect on me. I never told him and didn’t end up seeing him anymore after that. 

As someone who works full-time, it was always a challenge to decide whether I should or shouldn’t share my disorders with my employers and colleagues at work.

So far, I have. The biggest reason is that I have had numerous times in my life where I have had to take time off of work and school in order to focus on my mental health. I am also fortunate to work in the mental health system and have had very understanding and non-judgmental coworkers.

I am always the most worried about sharing my BPD diagnosis since, out of them all, that one tends to have the harshest stigma. At this point, I have not had a boss or coworker who has been unkind about my struggles, and my current boss has been very receptive to my limitations at work.

In these ways, I am very lucky, as I know this is not everyone’s experience. Whether I do or don’t decide to share my disorder with my workplace, I always check the box during hiring that inquires about disabilities, as mental health disorders such as Bipolar and BPD are considered such.  

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Something that I wish I had known earlier in my mental health journey is that my mental illness does not need to define me. Looking back, I see now that while I was processing and educating myself on my Bipolar diagnosis, I overidentified with the label.

I let it become too much of me and who I thought I was. While this is controversial in the mental health world and everyone has their own preferences, I stopped using the phrase “I am Bipolar/BPD” and instead I say, “I have…” I did this when I noticed how overidentifying with my diagnosis was hindering rather than helping me.

No one would say you are PTSD or you are Cancer. It helped me remember that my mental illnesses are a part of me, not who I am. I am so much more than what label I have been given. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• An Unquiet Mind – Kay Redfield Jamison: Helped me to understand my disorder, see that I am not alone, and showed me that having a mental illness makes me even better equipped to be a mental health professional. 
• I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality – Jerold J. Kreisman, Hal Straus: Provided me with an education and understanding of what BPD is, how it develops, and how I can cope with it. This is also a book I would recommend to anyone who has a loved one with this disorder. After I read it, I asked my fiance to do so as well. 
• The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel Van Der Kolk: While this book should have been updated since its release, it is still a cult classic in understanding PTSD and BPD. It is very written in a very digestible format and I always recommend it to my clients with PTSD. It helped me to understand how PTSD impacts me and treatments that can help, such as EMDR. 

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can learn more about me on Instagram @havingbipolar. There you will find access to the podcasts I have spoken on and my own self-help book I wrote about a year ago designed for those with Bipolar Disorder. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Finding My Way Through Bipolar, BPD, and PTSD With Therapy and Medication appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, I’m Victoria! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m a 2x boy mama, intuitive healer, and embodiment coach who demystifies ancient energetic practices like Kundalini Yoga and the Akashic Records. I live in Atlanta, GA with my husband, Will, and our two boys, Sebastian (4), and Rocky (17 months). 

I’m super passionate about helping women uncover who they really are vs who society has told them to be. A miscarriage in 2018 sent me on the path of self-discovery, and since then, I’ve healed disordered eating, anxiety, and body dysmorphia with the somatic and energetic practices I teach my clients. 

I was always a happy person, but since diving deeper into my internal world and well-being, I’ve become the fully expressed version of myself I was always meant to be.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My anxiety started in college. I honestly wouldn’t have considered myself an overly anxious person, but often, before tests, I wouldn’t be able to sleep. My mind would continue to race with test questions, what-if scenarios, and if I was prepared enough.

Raised as an only child, it was around this time that I found out I was going to be a big sister – a 20-year-old big sister. 

This feeling of out-of-controlness started to spread beyond test time, and soon, I was binging and purging daily. Looking back, I think it was a mix of anxiety and OCD.

To me, what I ate (or didn’t eat) and put in my body was the only thing I could control. I was never formally diagnosed with either, but smoked weed daily to cope not realizing it would eventually make my anxiety worse.

On the outside, I was super high-functioning. I got good grades, and I had a lot of friends, but internally it was a roller coaster, and I felt really insecure.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At my worst moments, post-college, I think I truly hated myself. Again, to the outside eye, I was high-functioning, but I was making really poor decisions. I was cheating on my boyfriend at the time, partying for all hours, and doing anything I could to escape my reality.

I did workout regularly, and that definitely helped, but I was far away from family and everything I knew as a young adult in New York City. I was lonely, even if I wouldn’t admit that to myself. It’s a hard city to live in, and as an introverted extrovert, I didn’t really know how to take care of myself. 

I’d cycle from being out all hours of the night with tons of people to holing myself up in my room all day smoking weed and sleeping because I didn’t have the energy to do anything else. I grew really frustrated at my job when I was looked over (rightfully) for a promotion, and I felt unfulfilled. 

If you talked to me at the time you probably thought I was living the dream, but it was a really dark time for me.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

My boyfriend and I at the time got into a really bad fight – probably one of our worst – and afterward I had this lightbulb moment of “this isn’t who I am.” This hateful, angry person wasn’t who I was raised to be, or who I really was at my core.

I also knew that our relationship was really and truly over. We’d kind of talked around it for a few months, but I made the decision to move back to the South after finding a new job. My boyfriend didn’t come with me. 

The weekend I flew to Birmingham, Alabama to try and find a new apartment and car at the same time was tough. I cried the whole time. I knew it was what I needed to do, though. 

Because I didn’t really know anybody, I was able to start over. I went back to Bikram Yoga – a form of hot yoga – multiple times a week, and I started to see glimpses of the real me again. 

Even though my anxiety felt like it was in check, I still carried a lot of anger. Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully “healed,” or that anyone really is, but I’ve made peace with so many parts of myself. Healing has been a beautiful journey of uncovering myself, and although it’s hard, I’ve found it’s so worth it. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Moving my body was the start of it all. I’d been a dancer when I was younger – and even through college – but I’d stopped for a long time. Rediscovering my yoga practice allowed me to find peace within myself. Even if it was just for the duration of the class. 

Soon, I was taking yoga classes online daily. I really resonated with a fast-paced style of yoga called Buti because it incorporated dancing, but I encourage you to try many styles until you find the one you like.

I often put music on and just dance around the house. There’s no way you can do that and not feel good afterward. It’s an immediate endorphin high. I love doing it with my kids, too.

Now, I’m an avid Kundalini yogi. Kundalini is the yoga of awareness, and its mix of mudra (hand placements), mantra (sound current), and movement is really what changed it all for me.

I meet myself on the mat every single morning and it’s a place to study myself and my feelings. I often journal afterward to continue to uncover whatever is moving inside of me.

You have to feel your feelings. After spending years of numbing mine with weed and booze, I realized the only way out was through. You’re going to continue to walk around with all of these swirling, low-vibration emotions until you allow them a healthy release.

It doesn’t mean I’m perfect – far from it – but I’m able to give myself a lot more compassion and grace. I grew up being told I was too much or that I was overly emotional, but now I realize they’re my superpower. Tears are medicine.

When we’re feeling emotional, it just means that energy is in motion, which is a good thing. When things get stuck energetically and physically, that’s when it can manifest into anxiety, depression, etc.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I didn’t really talk about this with anyone for a long time, but I started my own podcast last June, Flip the Script with Vic, and it’s really helped me find peace. It’s also allowed me to see how so many others are struggling with the same things.

Talking it out to a microphone has been very therapeutic and far outweighs any notions I’ve had of “what will they think of me?” I was actually most scared to tell my grandmother a lot of these stories, and she’s been so encouraging and is my number one podcast listener.

I also share a lot on Instagram (@victoriamargauxnielsen), and it’s been amazing to see how it resonates with other people when I’m authentically myself. To be witnessed in that way is incredible.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

You are worthy exactly as you are. And what you’re going through doesn’t define you – you get to do that. You get to choose how you move forward. 

Also, forgiveness is huge. Mainly of yourself. You did the best you could at the time, even if it doesn’t feel like it. All you can do is keep trying. Forgiveness means giving forward – you’re giving forward to your future. When you’re stuck ruminating in the past, you aren’t giving the future your full energy or attention. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

May Cause Miracles by Gaby Bernstein has been my most influential book!

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find out more about my work here or join my beautiful community on Instagram. The Flip the Script with Vic podcast, a weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective, shares new episodes every Tuesday.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Yoga Helped Me Overcome Anxiety, Binge Eating and Body Dysmorphia appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi there! I’m Stephanie, a photographer based in a small town in Wisconsin. I’ve been running my own photography business for 10 years now, and my number one passion is capturing life’s moments through my lens.

I also love reading and learning new things, and I consider myself a happy person. For me, happiness is a choice, and I’ve worked hard to overcome my inner critic that tells me I’m not good enough.

I am in a relationship with a wonderful person. He is also a photographer, so we have lots of fun together. I live with my son and our cat Leo. 

I love books and learning new things. One of my favorite topics to read about is mindset training. Being in charge of my thoughts- versus, letting them consume me. 

Being in charge of my thoughts means that I have more control over my life- and that means that I get to decide if I want to be happy or not.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I was diagnosed with PTSD around the age of 40, but I had been struggling for much longer. I was aware of my symptoms, but I didn’t know the extent of my trauma until a friend told me about Brainspotting. I found a therapist who specialized in Brainspotting, and we began working together.

The first step in Brainspotting is to assess the client’s symptoms and identify any underlying trauma. My PTSD stemmed from the trauma I endured when I became pregnant with twins at 16.

They were born prematurely and both struggled with ongoing health problems. One of them developed cerebral palsy, and the other struggled with ADD and a nonverbal learning disorder.

At 16, I was ill-equipped to handle a pregnancy, let alone a traumatic delivery, and having twins in the NICU for three months. While the focus was on the babies, as it should be, I was struggling with the shock of an unwanted pregnancy and the premature birth of my children. The stress, fatigue, loneliness, and isolation took their toll on me. I had no outlet, no community, and no support.

I lived with this trauma for many years, and it held me back in many ways. I couldn’t develop deep relationships with other people because I couldn’t develop one with myself. PTSD impacted my entire life.

Now, looking back at the trauma and fear I experienced starting at the age of 16, my heart hurts for that girl. She was literally living with the trauma of the preterm labor, the medical issues, the family issues, and everything else. There was no way even an adult could handle that on their own. It affected my entire life.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I never understood why I couldn’t just be happy. I would beat myself up over it, wondering why I couldn’t be content with my beautiful home and fulfilling life. But my PTSD and trauma had a profound impact on my happiness and the happiness of my family.

I tried to hide my anxiety and fears from everyone, but they often left me feeling depressed, tired, and isolated. I was always trying to be better than the person I thought I was.

My trauma was buried so deep that it had become a part of my identity. I really thought I was a bad person and that I was unworthy of happiness. I didn’t realize that there was a different way to think or live.

All the things that should have made me feel better – a gym membership, hiking in nature – made me feel worse. I felt numb and empty, and I was angry at myself for not being able to enjoy them. Trauma and my inner critic ruled my life.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

In March 2022, I decided to take a month in Santa Barbara to figure out my life. Being in a new town gave me the space to see who I really was and what I wanted.

I went to Zumba, joined a meditation group, and went for walks on the beach. I finally felt safe, and I began to heal the fear and trauma I had accumulated over the years.

During that month, I realized that I needed to get divorced and move into my own space. It was a difficult decision, but it was the right one for me. I was finally ready to be myself and to live the life I wanted.

After I left my marriage, my life began to change rapidly. I started to understand the books I had read about mindset, joy, and gratitude. I realized that I was in control of my thoughts and feelings and that I could choose to focus on the things that brought me joy.

I now feel free to express myself, and I am using my voice to help others feel good about themselves, to make a difference, and to make choices for themselves.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Being a teen mom was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I felt insecure, alone, unworthy, and ashamed. It breaks my heart to write this because I can still feel all of those emotions.

If you’re struggling with these feelings, for any reason, I want you to know that I love you. I don’t know you, but I know your struggles, your heart, and the strong love you give out. You just haven’t found a safe place to receive that love back yet. But I love you.

I know the courage it takes to just be here, to show up every day. I know how hard it is just to be you. And even if you think your strength is gone and you want to give up, you have to keep going.

There are good people in the world who really do just want you to be happy. You have to use your strength to find those people. But first, you have to find a safe place to be yourself.

All the therapists, walks, hikes, and motivational books in the world won’t help you until you’re in a safe place to receive the love and kindness you deserve.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

A single piece of advice I would give is that don’t worry about what other people think. You have to do you. Until they have walked a mile in your shoes- they cannot give you advice or judge you. The second thing, learn meditation. It’s a literal lifesaver.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
• The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk.
• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, also love Eat, Pray, Love!
• Meditations with Sara Mclean (Youtube). 
• Sue Bryce Podcast– here’s my favorite.
• Prince Charming Isn’t Coming By Barabara Stanny.
• Soul Without Shame by Byron Brown.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me here, or on Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

I would love to talk about my morning routine for happiness and abundance! It is a huge part of who I am and why I am able to choose happiness.

Every morning, I stay off social media and write out my day hour by hour on paper. This helps me silence my overactive, judgy, and critical mind later in the day when it’s at its loudest. After taking my son to school, I walk my dog and then meditate for 10-15 minutes, usually with a guided meditation on YouTube or with relaxing music.

I schedule time into my day for walks with my dog, coffee with a friend, or an afternoon hike. And every day, I try to do at least one thing that will make me happy. I literally ask myself, “What could I do today that makes me happy?” And I do it!

I had a marketing coach who would always say, “What makes you happy? What makes you joyful?” I really appreciated that question because if you’re not happy, you’re not going to attract clients!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Therapy and Meditation Helped Me Navigate Birth Trauma as a Teen Mom appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hey, I’m Drew and I live in Brighton, down on the south coast of England with my amazing wife and two children. Nice to meet you. 

I’m a copywriter in advertising for a big agency in London, which means I come up with the concepts for adverts. On the whole, it’s a fun job as sometimes I’m paid to think about what the talking dog is going to say in the ad, though it can be long hours.

I don’t find it too stressful though, even when everyone around me is flapping, as I think my life experiences put the deadlines of advertising into perspective. 

Beyond my family, my biggest passion is the guitar and music. The guitar is the place I go to whenever I have a spare minute and it never lets me down.

I feel incredibly lucky that I have something that is endlessly fun, relaxing, and joy-giving. And I have a really deep love of listening to music, though I guess that’s the same for anyone, right?

Music’s always been where I go when something’s off. Sometimes I can hear a song and it connects with me in ways words could never do, and it can release something or enable me to understand something, without being able to articulate it. 

I consider myself to be a happy person. I’m very laid back, and as I’ve said, I don’t find the little things in life to be stressful. The key for me is that I’m extremely happy in my home life and love my family so much.

I just love spending time with them and am so grateful for the joy they bring me. I just wish I could spend more time with them sometimes, and not have to work so many hours. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My dad died when I was 11. Which triggered depression and anxiety through my teens and early 20s.

He died of cancer, really suddenly. My parents were divorced and it was the summer holidays just before I started high school. I was on holiday with my mum and aunty and I tried calling my dad from the foyer of the hotel (long before mobile phones) – but it kept ringing out. And then after a few days, the line was dead, and the receiver left off the hook. 

When I got home my mum took me to see him, and he took a while to answer the door in his dressing gown. He apologized for not answering the phone and said he’d been too sick, but that he’d be fine. I hugged him and left with my mum, who was waiting in the car.

Something didn’t feel right, maybe the way he hugged me a little more gingerly than he normally would. I can still picture him clearly in his dressing gown from the height of my eleven-year-old self. That was the last time I saw him. 

He’d gone to the doctor with stomach pains and they had sent him away saying it was gastroenteritis. He’d actually had a carcinoma of the bowl which had burst and given him sepsis. Shortly after I saw him he was rushed to hospital and died. He was 55.  

I was in shock and anger for many years. And this lead to a general feeling of lowness, and numbness, which I would call depression. As I got older I experienced more social anxiety which affected my late teens and early 20s. I think I’m a naturally shy person, but this was compounded by my grief. 

I remember thinking that my dad was the only person who really understood me. We were incredibly close. As my parents had divorced when I was seven I had spent every weekend with my dad. So in many ways, this meant I spent lots of very close, quality time with him.

But like any young boy would feel, my world was trampled on when he died. I dreamed about him constantly and would wake up with a mixture of happiness and deep sadness that I’d seen him, but that it was just a dream. 

His death triggered anxiety and depression through my mid-to-late teens and early 20s. It came to a head in my university studies, when I felt so anxious that I had to take a year out of university and have a break in my studies.

I found social interactions very stressful, and so any kind of seminar was difficult. I basically retreated into myself and wanted to close the door to the world. 

I now reflect that I’m lucky to have had such great times with my dad and that many people have a father that they never really connect with, even though they live to a ripe old age. I think this focus on the good in every situation is the key to finding contentment, which I think is all we have control of.

Appreciate what you have. The happiness comes and goes. Life can bring ups and downs, but if we appreciate what we have throughout, then we can enjoy the happier times and ride out the lower times. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

From the outside, I’ve always appeared kinda fine. As I’ve said, I got a degree and then went on to get a second while I worked. I had a decent job, although it was only when I was 30 when I retrained did I find a career in advertising that’s pushed me forward and brought me the fulfillment you need from work. 

I think a big part of my struggle was not being able to talk about it with my family. It just felt like no one wanted to get into it and make me upset, so I never really brought it up and just dealt with it on my own. 

Our culture teaches boys that they can’t cry, or show weakness. I also think my family thought they were helping by just moving on and not creating a scene.

They also had their own ways of dealing with things, from an era when people just got on with life and didn’t complain. So I certainly don’t judge anyone. But I do think it made things very hard for me to process the grief as I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it. 

As I grew older through my teens, I found that I struggled with anxiety and depression. I hung out with the rebellious kids and did the bare amount of schoolwork I could get away with. I started the dangerous line of thinking that it was cool not to try hard. 

But I was bright. And so I found school easy and passed my exams without working. Which was another dangerous lesson. I could get by without trying. 

This set a pattern through my teens and early 20s of doing the bare minimum and never feeling fully fulfilled. 

I found certain social interactions really difficult. I had a kind of social phobia. However, to people outside they would think that I was fine. I also drank a lot in social settings, which is a cultural norm in the UK, and this masked my anxiety.  

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I’d started playing the guitar in my early teens. I was obsessed with Nirvana and the whole grunge scene in the early 90s. But as I hit my early 20s, I started playing in a band.

The connection and friendship I found with my bandmates were huge. I had found a supportive network of friends who I could be open with. Probably because openness is key to musical expression. 

Over time, playing the guitar became my therapy. Whenever I felt overwhelmed or anxious, I would play a tune or write a song. It allowed me to express my feelings without having to put them into words. The more I played, the more I felt a sense of release and relief.

It was a combination of my own actions, the therapeutic nature of music, and the supportive community of musicians I became a part of that contributed to my healing. If I had to quantify it, I’d say 70% was a result of my actions and 30% was due to the circumstances and people around me.

It took me about 15 years after my dad’s passing to make significant progress. The guitar was the catalyst that set me on a path to understanding and managing my emotions better. It not only helped me cope with my grief but also built my confidence and self-worth.

I’ve researched the benefits of playing guitar, and the list is seemingly endless. For those who are interested, I have written an article that covers all the incredible benefits of playing guitar for mental health.

From the release of dopamine, reducing stress, improving cognitive abilities, and preventing mental decline, there’s so much that playing guitar, and instruments in general, can offer us.

So I’d urge anyone, no matter how old you are to pick up an instrument. It’s never too late be be a beginner at anything. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

The first step I took was acknowledging my feelings. For years, I had suppressed my emotions, thinking it was the “manly” thing to do. But once I started playing the guitar, I realized the importance of expressing myself. Music became my outlet, and through it, I was able to process my grief and anxiety. 

I also sought therapy. Talking to a professional helped me understand the root of my feelings and gave me tools to cope. My therapist introduced me to mindfulness and meditation, which I practiced daily. It helped me stay present and not get overwhelmed by my past or anxious about the future.

Also, playing guitar, or any instrument, is an inherently mindful practice. When you’re paying you can’t think about anything else. And so I found it helped me in so many ways. 

For anyone going through a similar situation, I’d recommend finding a creative outlet, whether it’s music, art, writing, or any other form. It’s essential to have a safe space where you can express yourself without judgment.

Also, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. Sometimes, talking to someone who’s trained to understand can make all the difference.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Initially, I kept my struggles to myself. I felt that showing vulnerability would make me appear weak. But as I started healing and understanding my emotions better, I began opening up to close friends and family. Their support and understanding were invaluable.

There were, however, some people I didn’t feel comfortable sharing with. Some colleagues and acquaintances had a tendency to dismiss mental health issues or offer unsolicited advice. I chose to keep my journey private from them to protect my mental well-being.

Over time, I’ve realized the importance of talking about mental health. It not only helps the person struggling but also educates others and reduces the stigma around it.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Embrace your emotions, no matter how painful or overwhelming they might seem. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or anxious. These feelings are a part of the healing process. 

Find a safe space or outlet where you can express yourself, and remember, you’re not alone in your struggle. Surround yourself with supportive people, seek professional help if needed, and always prioritize your mental well-being.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• “The Healing Power of Sound” by Mitchell Gaynor: This book delves into the therapeutic effects of sound and music. It helped me understand the science behind why playing the guitar was so beneficial for my mental health.
• “It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want To Be” by Paul Arden: This book pretty much changed my life. I retrained in advertising at age 30, and this book was the inspiration.
  The key to any progress or success in life is having a goal. Talent is overrated. It’s much more important to set your self-goals high and strive for them.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

As I’ve linked to above, I’ve got a website about guitars called Guitar Mammoth, which helps me share my passion. Please check it out if you’re interested in guitar. If you’re interested in joining the team and writing for us, please reach out.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Playing Guitar Helped Me Process Grief and Start Healing From Anxiety and Depression appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Aloha! I’m Mona Kirstein, Ph.D, and I wear many hats in my life—serial entrepreneur, holistic coach & consultant, and advocate for conscious living. I live on the beautiful island of Oahu in Hawaii, where the natural surroundings serve as a constant source of inspiration for me. 

I share my life with my loving husband, and together we find peace and purpose in the simple joys of this journey called life. I’m passionate about nature, engaging in deep soulful conversations, traveling to new places, and the never-ending journey of learning. 

Currently, in my early forties, I find myself in a phase of life where I am genuinely happier than I’ve ever been. Years of self-work and embracing my true self have led me to a space where I feel not just comfortable but proud of the life I’ve created.

Empowered by my own transformative journey, I’ve dedicated my life to guiding ambitious women toward embracing and expressing their authentic selves—a gift I believe is the most precious offering we can make to ourselves and the world.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Life hasn’t always been this fulfilling. For decades, I lived under the shadow of Narcissistic Parental Abuse, a struggle that profoundly affected my emotional well-being. The symptoms were subtle but deeply damaging: emotional manipulation, lack of genuine affection, and constant undermining of my self-worth. 

He would dismiss my emotions, like calling me “too dramatic” or “oversensitive” if I cried. 

When I made a wrong facial expression, he’d accuse me of disrespecting him and take away privileges. He constantly twisted reality and made up stories about things I’d supposedly done wrong, grounding me for infractions that never happened. 

He crafted fictitious stories about my behavior to justify punishing me for things I never did. If I objected, it confirmed to him I was lying and disrespectful. He wove complex false narratives that made me constantly defend myself against things I never did.

I started distrusting my own memory and perception.

Even later in life, I’d share successes and he’d react with envy and disdain. Imagine telling your dad you’ve been offered a spot in a Ph.D. program, and he says, “That’s just a sign you’re too lazy to get a real job.” Yeah, that happened. 

This struggle wasn’t confined to my childhood; it persisted well into my adult life, affecting my relationships, my career, and my sense of self. 

It wasn’t a phase or a temporary challenge; it was a relentless companion that cast a shadow over multiple aspects of my life.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At my lowest, the struggle with the internalized voice of narcissistic abuse felt like an insidious cloud that hung over every aspect of my life. I was carrying an invisible weight that made even the simplest tasks feel like climbing a mountain. 

Instead of specific moments standing out, it was more like a constant undercurrent of feeling rejected, worthless, and too flawed to be around others. 

This struggle severely impacted my happiness, creating a barrier that prevented me from fully enjoying my successes and relationships. I got really good at putting on a brave face, but inside, I was a mess.

The hidden struggle of codependency

I struggled with codependency for years without realizing it. I had this deep inner belief that I was unlovable unless I pleased others and earned their approval. This led me to make poor choices—ignoring red flags, minimizing abuse, and clinging to harmful people.

I remember moments of feeling completely hopeless like I had no identity outside of my dysfunctional relationships. At my lowest, I numbed feelings with unhealthy habits. With support and inner work, I’ve realized my worth comes from within. Now I know approving of myself is what matters most.

Behind the mask of success

Externally, I was achieving milestones in my career and personal life, but internally, I was in turmoil. I became adept at hiding this struggle, wearing a mask of composure and success. To the outside world, it seemed like I had it all together, but inside, I was fighting a battle that very few knew about. This duality made the struggle even more isolating.

Truth silenced, reality distorted

One of the most insidious aspects of narcissistic abuse is the suppression of truth. Narcissists often create a distorted reality to maintain their sense of control and superiority. 

As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), I have an innate ability to perceive and question things. This often put me at odds with my narcissistic father, who would go to great lengths to silence my truths because they threatened his constructed reality. This dynamic not only made me question my own perceptions but also instilled a deep-rooted fear of speaking my truth.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

After years of feeling weighed down by an invisible burden and struggling with codependency, the turning point in my journey came when I began to consciously challenge the internalized voice that had been undermining me for so long. 

I started working with professionals who helped me identify and reshape these negative thought patterns. The moment I remember feeling a change for the better was when I could look at my accomplishments and genuinely feel pride, rather than dismissing them as flukes or attributing them to external factors.

Conscious choices, lasting change

When it comes to the change in my life, it’s all on me—100%. I didn’t just luck into a supportive environment or find the right therapist by chance; I made those things happen for myself. Every healthy habit I started, every professional I worked with, every support network I built, and every moment I spent reflecting were all intentional choices. 

Journey to empowerment

This journey took years, maybe even decades, but each step I took was a conscious effort to heal and improve myself. And let me tell you, the sense of empowerment that comes from knowing you’ve turned your own life around? That’s incredibly rewarding and feels pretty amazing.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

The final turning point for me was finally putting a name to what I had been experiencing: narcissistic abuse. Understanding this was like flipping a switch. I worked with a psychospiritual therapist who specialized in this area.

She helped me identify the internalized voices that were holding me back. For instance, we did exercises where I journaled conversations between my “inner critic” and my “inner advocate,” which was eye-opening.

Journaling as a mirror to the soul

One strategy that helped me immensely was journaling to identify my inner critic voices. I would write out conversations between my “inner critic” and my “inner wise mind”, paying attention to repetitive phrases like “you’re too sensitive” or “you don’t deserve success”. I then learned to cultivate my inner wise mind to reframe those criticisms.

For example, when the voice said “You’re too sensitive,” my wise mind would respond “I have the gift of perceptiveness.” Reframing these inner narratives was so empowering. I also found spiritual practices like mindfulness, meditation, and yoga invaluable. The combination of inner work and outer practices allowed me to get centered and tap into my inner wisdom.

Trusting your inner compass

Another huge step was embracing my intuition and inner wisdom. I explored various healing modalities and spiritual practices. These choices were guided by my inner voice, which I learned to trust more and more. This approach helped me understand my triggers and how my nervous system responds, giving me tools to cope better.

The healing power of acknowledgment

I think giving a voice to all the internalized voices, even the ones that seemed “bad,” was transformative. We can only heal what we bring to the surface. I started actively listening to these voices, understanding their origins, and working on reframing them. This was a big part of my therapy sessions and healing journey, and it’s something I’d highly recommend to anyone going through a similar struggle.

Breaking free from suppressed truths

Another transformative realization was understanding the power dynamics at play, especially the suppression of truth inherent in narcissistic abuse. I saw this pattern not just in my family but in other relationships and even in broader societal contexts. 

The tendency to attack the messenger instead of facing uncomfortable truths is something I’ve had to navigate carefully. Through my healing journey, I’ve learned to detach from the reactions of others and live in integrity with my own truth. This has been both liberating and empowering, allowing me to speak out without the crippling fear of rejection or ridicule.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Sharing my struggles has been a bit of a double-edged sword. On one hand, I’ve always been open about what I’m going through, but the feedback hasn’t always been constructive. In unhealthy relationships, the advice I received was often misguided and even harmful. 

Phrases like “just have compassion for him,” or “love is the answer,” sound good on the surface, but they can be incredibly damaging when dealing with narcissistic abuse. I remember listening to a podcast “It’s Me, Dr. Z.”, where she shared a story that really resonated with me. People would say, “But it’s your father, and he’s old now,” and she’d reply, “But it was me, and I was 5!” That hit home for me and reinforced the idea that stepping away can sometimes be the most healing action to take.

Letting go for a healthier tomorrow

There were also people in my life who felt threatened by my growth. As I started to get stronger, it seemed to challenge the illusions they had built up for themselves. Realizing this was both painful and liberating. I had to make the difficult decision to let go of certain friendships, but doing so opened up space for healthier, more genuine connections.

Opening up about mental health struggles is never easy, especially when the people you expect to be your support system turn out to be part of the problem. But the journey, as tough as it has been, has also been empowering. It’s helped me sift through my relationships and keep only those that are truly beneficial for my well-being.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

If I could offer a single piece of advice to someone else facing similar struggles, it would be this: Own your truth, even if it makes others uncomfortable. Your journey to healing is about you, not them. Don’t dim your light for anyone. Trust yourself and your intuition, and don’t hesitate to seek specialized help.

I wish I had known earlier the importance of putting a name to my struggle and seeking help from professionals who specialize in this area. Understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse and how it affected me was like turning on a light in a dark room. It gave me the clarity I needed to start the healing process.

Another thing I wish I had known is that it’s okay to step away from relationships that are harmful, even if society or well-meaning individuals tell you otherwise. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to create distance and establish boundaries.

It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of self-respect and self-love. And remember, you’re not alone. There are communities and professionals out there who understand what you’re going through and can offer invaluable support.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

Over the years, I’ve dived into lots of books and talked with experts to better understand the connection between body, mind, and soul. This approach has been a big part of my healing journey.

While it’s hard to pick just one book that changed everything for me, some have really stood out. One of those is ‘The Body Keeps the Score’ by Bessel van der Kolk. This book led me to explore body-based therapies and underlined what I already knew: healing has to be viewed holistically.

In addition to that, I’ve been deeply influenced by exploring the concept of the Higher Self and our spiritual connection to the universe. These works have opened me up to trusting my intuition and inner wisdom, which has been a cornerstone in my healing journey.

One of the most impactful resources has been my work with Julie Clark, a psycho-spiritual coach. Her approach combines psychology and spirituality, and she specializes in narcissistic abuse.

Working with her has been like finding a guide who speaks my language, helping me navigate the complexities of my struggle, and offering invaluable insights and tools for healing.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

If you’re interested in diving deeper into my philosophy and approach to holistic well-being, I invite you to visit my website, The Wholehearted Path.

There you’ll find a range of resources, from personalized holistic coaching and consulting services to articles on conscious living, emotional well-being, and entrepreneurship.

I also offer expert guidance in various essential aspects of life, such as healthy lifestyle choices, relationships and communication, mindset development, and spiritual growth.

You can also find me on Facebook and Pinterest.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

One question that could add depth to this interview is about the role of spirituality in mental health and well-being. I believe that our struggles are not just psychological but also spiritual in nature.

For me, embracing spirituality was a significant part of my healing journey. It helped me understand the interconnectedness of mind, body, and soul, and how each aspect contributes to our overall well-being.

I also want to point out the importance of finding the right kind of help. Not all therapists or coaches are equipped to deal with specific issues like narcissistic abuse. It’s crucial to find someone who specializes in your area of struggle, as this can make a significant difference in the speed and quality of your recovery.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Realized That I Experienced Narcissistic Abuse and My Journey of Healing appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I’m Claire E. Parsons, a lawyer, wife and mother, mindfulness teacher, blogger, and author. I practice in the areas of employment and labor, local government, and litigation in the Cincinnati area.

I’ve been practicing law for about 15 years and teaching mindfulness to lawyers and professionals for about five years. I consider myself happy now but I’ve had to fight for it. 

The happiness came when I learned to accept who I was and follow the path I wanted even though it was different from what I expected. People ask me a lot how I manage to practice law, be a mom, and do the “extra” work of teaching mindfulness and writing.

The truth is that this “extra work” energizes me and lets me use the skills and traits I don’t get to use in law practice. It helps me feel like I am making a difference in my community in multiple ways and that means a lot. Even on hard days, I think that meaning is what makes me happy.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My struggle was excessive overthinking, unchecked anxiety, difficulty asking for help, and a lack of self-compassion. This started for me as a kid. I would think for hours and days sometimes about possible problems and never ask for help. Even though I knew deep down that this was not normal, I was too ashamed and afraid to ask for help.

Usually, this problem went unnoticed because I got good grades, was good at sports, and outwardly seemed to be happy enough. In truth, I was lonely, scared, never felt good enough, and I had no ability to handle adversity because good results were how I measured my own worth. 

Though I have wonderful, supportive parents, I think some of this happened because I tried very hard to be the “good girl” in my family who didn’t make problems for other people.

Over time, this turned into perfectionism and an inability to ask for help for myself. As expectations and demands in life increased, the problems got bigger and I found myself overwhelmed frequently by trying to handle life all by myself. 

Though I got through college and law school, I had periods of depression which I managed with therapy and medication. Those provided some introspection and healing but real change for me didn’t happen until I had begun my law practice.

I still experience some of these same traits today. Some of these patterns I know are part of my personality, but the big difference now is that I am aware of my patterns and have better skills for responding to them. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

The worst moment with this struggle was when I developed a severe, but fortunately short-lived period of postpartum depression after the birth of my first daughter.

I was an associate in my law firm at the time in the first few years of practice. I was trying to manage a busy caseload and learn how to practice law.

My daughter was diagnosed with IUGR during the pregnancy and I had to do extra appointments to manage her growth. Ultimately, she remained small and I was induced at 37 weeks with a difficult labor and then I could not breastfeed her as I had planned. 

This situation threw everything about my identity into doubt. I felt like I wasn’t a good woman because I couldn’t grow and feed my baby. I felt like I had lost my career because I couldn’t focus on my law practice the way I had planned. The truth is that I felt worthless and ashamed.

While I had hidden some of my other experiences with depression, the lack of sleep after having my daughter caused me to break down. Though I am normally calm and reserved, I began crying frequently and my family became aware of my struggles.

My family pitched in to support me and help me get more sleep but ultimately my mother insisted I see a doctor about depression. It was a pivotal moment for me and one I am grateful for to this day. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Things started turning around as soon as I called the doctor to talk about PPD, but my life direction didn’t really start to change until later. Therapy and medication helped me to stabilize and start to let go of some of the more distressing and intense perfectionist thoughts.

It also helped me to grow as a mother, develop a relationship with my daughter, and see how amazing she really was. About a year after her birth, though, I was back at work and totally overwhelmed. 

It was during this time that I started meditating. I started only at 1-2 minutes a day because it was all I could handle, but it immediately helped. It helped me just to stop and notice my thoughts. It helped me to rest and manage my stress and fatigue.

Later on down the road, my practice helped me to build self-compassion and face some of the more daunting emotions and patterns, like perfectionism, self-doubt, and loneliness.

Over time, I started building and relying on my community more, getting more involved as a leader in and outside of my law firm, and writing and speaking.

Eventually, my whole career and personal life felt different and it was because I was finally living life on my terms and treating myself with kindness. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Meditation was foundational to me because it helped me see what I was thinking. This put me in a position where I could challenge my thoughts, realize that some of my actions were mere habits that I could change, and listen to the inklings that I had otherwise ignored.

This helped me face and address the negative patterns and emotions (like doubt and loneliness) and act on the good ideas I had been habitually overlooking (like writing and seeking out more speaking opportunities). 

Another thing that changed was that I started to reach out and get help. The challenges I described above made me pretty lonely because I usually did things on my own. I started to change this when I let myself follow my passions by joining and leading organizations.

I also got a great mentor through one of the organizations and, for the first time, got advice and input from someone instead of doing everything alone. 

In combination, meditation helped me develop some basic self-care strategies so that I could get in touch with who I was and manage difficulty and stress.

Once that was established, I could then grow and expand over the minimal requirements of my work to network, market, and lead in my community.

Over time, this engendered more happiness because I was doing the things in life that mattered to me and felt like I had a real stake in my community. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

At this point, I have learned to do so and have done so extensively and in public. I have shared this story several times in articles, my blog, my book, and often in presentations and interviews. Doing so has been liberating in many ways but it has taken time and a lot of courage.

The first challenge was for me to acknowledge my own difficulty and accept that it was a struggle at all. I was so lost in perfectionism that, at first, I didn’t accept that I was struggling. 

Over time, I more openly sought out help and support from loved ones and friends. And, then, I started to write. At first, I wrote only legal articles for trade magazines. Then I branched out to other topics, like law practice, and eventually to discussing life topics.

After numerous articles and several years, I wrote about mindfulness for the first time and a mentor encouraged me to present about mindfulness for a professional women’s summit. 

This was the first time I spoke about my struggles with stress and mental health and talked about mindfulness practices in public. The session was a hit and it taught me how valuable stories are, so I kept sharing them. 

People ask me all the time how I am able to write so much and my most common answer is that writing is a mental health practice for me, just like meditation. Part of this is just getting thoughts out of my brain, but the other part is learning about and sharing my life with the world.

I don’t think everyone else must share the way I do to be happy, but I encourage anyone who reaches out to me to write or create in whatever way is calling them because it has been so impactful for me. 

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

The thing I always come back to when asked this question is that there is hope because things can change. With anxiety, you often feel like you can’t control anything because there is so much uncertainty in life and you can’t control your own thoughts.

With depression, you may feel hopeless and like your sadness will never end. For a long time, I thought being unhappy, lonely, and afraid was just who I was. 

When I had my daughter, though, I realized that I had to find a way to be happy. What was really amazing was that I didn’t have to change who I was at all to find happiness. Instead, I had to change my behaviors and patterns.

Once I learned to manage my stress and anxiety, seek out help, let creativity into my life, and open up to the world, I couldn’t believe how different life felt.

This is not to say that every day is wonderful or that I am never down. I still struggle with low moods or hard times like anyone, but now I have skills and resources and I know I am not facing life alone. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

First, I want to say that I read a lot so this was really hard for me. I do book reviews and resource recommendations on my blog frequently and many favorites are covered there.

There are, of course, some authors that I have come back to over the years again and again and they include the following: 

• Tara Brach was the first meditation teacher I followed and read extensively. Her podcast and books helped me realize that there was nothing wrong with me and helped me start to heal. 
• Laura Vanderkam was a writer on time management who helped me during the crazy years with my kids as little ones. Her books and podcasts helped me to keep things in perspective and realize that I could do a lot even without unlimited time. 
• Kelly McGonigal is a wonderful scientist and storyteller. She has helped me understand everything from willpower to habit change to compassion better and how the smartest people really can break down complex things in a simple way. 
• Malcolm Gladwell has given me the confidence to see connections and ideas that other people don’t see and to actually say them out loud. He has helped me understand the value of checking assumptions to see if they are really true. 

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find more about me and mindfulness on my blog, Brilliant Legal Mind. The blog is on various social media platforms as well, including Facebook, Instagram, X. Threads, LinkedIn, and YouTube.

My books, Mommy Needs a Minute, and How to Be a Badass Lawyer are on Amazon and other online booksellers. I am active on LinkedIn and would love it if you reach out or connect. 

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

(This is a question I get all the time, so I am offering it here.)

Weren’t you scared when you started talking about mental health and mindfulness? How did your law firm and clients react? 

Yes, I was totally scared. I am still scared to this day. But one good thing (if you can call it that) about anxiety was that I got a little bored of being scared all of the time, so I stopped listening to it.

As it turns out, clients were understanding and my professional contacts have been supportive. In reality, I have found more benefit from my law practice from my other life of teaching mindfulness than detriment. 

I assume that there are some people out there who think I am strange or don’t get mindfulness, but that’s true about a lot of things. I trust in the practices, I have seen them work, I know that they are backed by science, and my worries force me to be humble and realistic when I teach.

I don’t push mindfulness on anyone, but I do try to make it more accessible to people new to the concepts.

This has helped me form new relationships and build confidence in myself. In the end, teaching mindfulness has helped my law practice so there really hasn’t been a conflict between the two things. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Navigated Perfectionism and Postpartum Depression With Therapy and Mindfulness appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hello there! My name is Isabel Faye, a relationship and lifestyle expert. I consider myself sort of a nomad, but currently I live in the beautiful city of San Diego — I’ve always been mesmerized by its stunning beaches and the warmth of its residents.

Professionally, I have a background in psychology and specialize in social and personality psychology. On a personal note, I’m in a committed relationship with a wonderful partner who’s been my rock, especially during my recent mental health journey. We share our home with a playful golden retriever named Leo, who never fails to light up our days. 

Besides my work, I’m passionate about yoga, mindfulness practices, traveling, journaling, and exploring local cafes. Each of these passions helps me maintain balance in my life and gives me moments of solace.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My struggle was with a condition known as premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). At first glance, it may sound similar to the common PMS, but in reality, PMDD is much more intense. It wasn’t just about the physical discomfort.

The real challenge was the emotional and psychological symptoms. Think about really strong mood swings, being super irritable, and having moments of heavy anxiety almost every month.

I first noticed these symptoms about 3 years ago. At the beginning, I just thought they were regular menstrual changes, but over time, I saw a clear pattern. These intense feelings always hit right before my period, and to be honest, the stresses from work and life probably made them feel even stronger.

As time went on, these symptoms went from just being annoying to seriously affecting my daily life. There were days when PMDD would just take over, making it hard to be my usual self, both personally and professionally

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At my lowest points, PMDD felt like an anchor weighing me down. It made even the smallest tasks feel mountainous. I’d often find myself trapped in this cycle of self-doubt, anxiety, and overwhelming sadness. My happiness? It felt like it had been siphoned off.

Moments that should’ve been joyful or just neutral became shaded by this heaviness. Simple activities, like catching up with friends or working on a project, suddenly felt so draining. It was as if a constant cloud hovered, casting shadows on my usual upbeat self.

To the outside world, I did my best to wear a mask. I pride myself on being a relationship and lifestyle expert, so showing vulnerability wasn’t easy. But, as with most masks, it had its cracks. 

Close friends and family could sense when the cloud descended. They’d notice the subtle changes – maybe a hesitation in my voice, or the lack of enthusiasm in activities I usually love. However, to most others, I kept my struggle tucked away, hoping to navigate it without drawing too much attention.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Yes, there was. About a year and a half into my struggle with PMDD, during one particularly challenging cycle, I remember sitting in my San Diego living room, Leo by my side, journal in hand. I remember a moment of clarity — I realized I needed to actively seek change. Writing had always been therapeutic for me, but that evening it was more like a compass pointing me in a direction.

I’d say turning things around was about 80% my actions and 20% circumstantial. I sought professional help, adjusted my lifestyle, and leaned into the practices I advocate for at Twin Flamesly.

While the supportive environment of my partner and friends played a part, it was my proactive approach that truly steered the change. The therapy sessions, the self-awareness exercises, and even the dietary changes were all deliberate actions I took to regain control over my life.

Before this pivot, I grappled with PMDD’s intense symptoms for nearly 18 months. It’s incredible to reflect on how transformative that one evening of introspection was, guiding me toward the path of recovery.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

The first step for me was recognizing and accepting that I needed help. It’s often the hardest step, but crucial. For me, reaching out to a therapist who specialized in hormonal mood disorders made all the difference. 

In one of our sessions, I remember sharing a particular instance where a minor disagreement with my partner spiraled into a massive anxiety episode. My therapist introduced me to the concept of ‘cognitive reframing‘.

Instead of getting entangled in the intensity of the emotion, she taught me to pause, step back, and reframe my perspective. It was transformative. The best part was that it enabled me to respond rather than react to emotional triggers.

Journaling was another game-changer. What really helped me was setting aside a dedicated time every evening to pen down my feelings. It’s not just about writing what you feel, but understanding why you feel it. 

For instance, during one week when my symptoms were flaring, I identified certain dietary triggers. This led me to research and eventually adjust my diet — I started reducing foods that seemed to exacerbate my PMDD symptoms.

Finally, mindfulness and meditation. While it might sound cliché, integrating mindfulness practices into my daily routine genuinely helped. I began with just 10 minutes of focused breathing exercises in the mornings. Nothing special — I just relied on Goop’s 10 Minute Morning Meditation for Clarity, Stability, and Presence on YouTube.

This video was my go-to guide and offered easy-to-follow techniques that really grounded me. Taking those 10 minutes each morning to center myself made a world of difference.

Over time, this not only helped manage my PMDD symptoms but also improved my overall mental well-being.

To anyone in a similar situation, I’d say: be proactive and take charge. Seek professional help, stay self-aware, and never underestimate the healing power of simple practices. I know you might think you’re all alone, but you need to convince yourself that no, you’re indeed not alone, and there are tools and resources out there that can help.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Yes, I did share my struggles, but it took time to gather the courage. At first, I confided in my closest circle: my partner and a couple of dear friends. They’ve seen me at my best and worst, and with them, I felt a sense of safety because I just knew they’d listen without judgment.

On the other hand, sharing with colleagues and acquaintances was a big challenge. Given my profession as a relationship and lifestyle expert, I worried about how it might affect their perception of me.

Would they doubt my expertise if they knew of my personal battles? This fear made me hold back, choosing to keep a boundary between my professional life and my personal challenges.

Opening up about mental health is never easy. It’s a deeply personal journey, and while I advocate for open conversations, I also understand the hesitancy. It’s the vulnerability, the fear of being misunderstood, or judged.

But with time, I’ve come to see the power of sharing. It not only aids our healing but can also provide comfort and guidance to others walking a similar path.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

If I could share one piece of heartfelt advice with someone going through a struggle, it would be this: Take one step at a time and reach out. We often believe we have to navigate our battles alone, but there’s immense strength in seeking support.

Whether it’s confiding in a friend, joining a support group, or even diving into a helpful YouTube tutorial – every small action you take is a victory.

Looking back, I wish I had acted sooner. I spent too much time underestimating the power of tiny, daily actions and the comfort of shared experiences.

You don’t have to have it all figured out today, but taking that first step, whatever it might be, can make a world of difference. You might think it won’t work for now, but trust me, your future self will thank you.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Book: “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego” by Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown’s exploration into Buddhism not only deepened my understanding of its principles but also offered practical advice on living a life with purpose and mindfulness.

The chapters on minimizing ego provided invaluable tools for personal growth. Reading it was a turning point throughout my journey with PMDD, and I believe it contributed to improving my overall well-being.

• Book: “What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing” by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry

This compelling book by Oprah and Dr. Perry shifted my perspective from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”. Their conversations on trauma shed light on its deep-rooted impacts. This indeed offered me a compassionate approach to understanding and healing.

After reading the book, I also recommend watching their interviews on YouTube.

• Podcast: The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

In this podcast, Dr. Santos discusses scientific research on happiness. Through her stories and actionable tips, I gained tools to nurture a more contented life, especially during challenging times.

• YouTube Meditation: Goop’s 10 Minute Morning Meditation for Clarity, Stability, and Presence

This quick morning meditation from Gwyneth Paltrow quickly became a staple in my routine. The 10 minutes of focused guidance ushered in clarity and stability, setting a positive tone for my day, especially during PMDD flare-ups.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

I am the founder of Twin Flamesly, an informative website for dating and relationship advice. You can read more about me on my author page.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

One aspect that I believe is immensely crucial, which wasn’t touched upon, is the role of daily routines in managing mental health challenges. For someone struggling with a condition like PMDD, consistency can be both a challenge and a savior. 

One practical thing that grounded me during my toughest days was a ‘wind-down ritual’ in the evenings. This wasn’t something grand but rather a simple, consistent routine: a warm cup of chamomile tea, a brief walk outside, followed by jotting down three things I was grateful for that day. It might sound basic, but this routine gave me an anchor, a small space of predictability in a sea of emotional chaos.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Self-Improvement Journey From Stress and PMDD to Happiness and Fulfillment appeared first on Tracking Happiness.