Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Amanda Haro & I am an intentional single mom to 4 amazing girls aged 12-6 & the founder & owner of F*ck It Mothering. I am a life coach for moms, teaching them tools to liberate themselves off the backburner so they can break free from the cycle of burnout and overwhelm. I live in Wisconsin & have a shi-poo named Chewbacca.

I used to think that only certain people struggled with depression; and that you had to be genetically predisposed to it. I never identified as a person who struggled with depression, even though I had experienced it in my life before.

I didn’t want to be labeled as someone who was depressed because there was a subconscious thought that it would mean that I was weak; that I was sick.

But now that I have been through major depressive seasons 3 times in my life, I now have a much different perspective and relationship with depression.

My work as a life coach has taught me that our brains are always trying to help us; they just don’t always do a very good job all the time. Very much like a toddler wanting to “help” you around the house: their intentions are pure and they truly want to be helpful, but they oftentimes do a really horrible job.

I now believe that depression is another way that our brains are trying to help us. Depression is a sign that there’s a deep pain that we haven’t processed yet. Our brains see the pain and try to protect us from feeling it by numbing out.

Going back to the toddler analogy, the toddler sees a mess on the floor & covers it up with a blanket as a way to “help” us avoid stress because if we can’t see it, then it can’t hurt us. But of course, it is hurting us.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

As I said before, I have struggled with depression 3 times in my life.

The first time was when I was 16 years old. I had been diagnosed with Guillian-Barre, which is a very rare autoimmune disorder that attacks the nervous system and causes temporary paralysis.

I went from being a healthy, normal teenager heading into her junior year of high school to being laid up in a hospital bed unable to move anything except my head. The recovery took me out of school for the entire year, which was very isolating for me. I was angry, lonely, and subsequently depressed.

The second time was when I was in my 20’s. I was a new mom, had moved 1,800 miles away from all of my family & friends & found myself in a very one-sided marriage.

My husband at the time was completely unavailable to me emotionally & practically, leaving me to raise our 2 kids completely on my own with no support system. 2 kids later, nothing had changed.

I was very depressed but also riddled with shame over my situation, so I pushed through & made excuses for my husband to cover up how bad things had gotten in our home. 

The third time was a year and a half ago when I lost my dad to Covid that he had gotten from me. He had moved to Wisconsin to be with me and my girls and was the only family I had out here.

We were living with him because the pandemic had left my girls and I displaced. After he passed, I became the personal representative of his estate and was suddenly thrust into learning the politics of death as I navigated probate court.

In the span of 6 months, I lost my dad, was forced to move out of his house by family, and also ended a years-long relationship with my partner at the time. The pain that I felt was so deep that I spiraled into the deepest depression yet.

But being a single mom, I had to keep going. So I went on an antidepressant for the first time in my life, and it was the best decision I could have made for myself.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Depression always comes hand-in-hand with shame. Shame says that there’s something wrong with you as a person and makes you want to hide.

Shame is the feeling that keeps you from reaching out for help, from talking to other people about what you’re going through and how you’re feeling. Depression also makes you feel really hopeless. Like you will forever be stuck in whatever circumstance you are currently in. 

But speaking as a woman who has risen from the ashes and created a new life for herself more than once: you are never stuck. Those thoughts are just sentences in your brain.

They are just what your brain is offering you. They are not the absolute truth. You get to create your truth for yourself & you get to make new decisions and change your circumstances whenever you want to.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I have always been a person interested in becoming the next best version of myself. When I got to go back to school during my senior year of high school, I stopped caring about what other people thought of me.

I had just lost an entire year of my life & I decided I would never waste time holding myself back from what I wanted to do out of fear of other’s opinions or fear of failure. I had always wanted to act but had been too nervous to really go for it. But my senior year, I went for it & got lead roles all year long.

When I was depressed and lost in my marriage, there was a time when my sister was visiting us. “What’s your favorite flower, sis? I don’t think I’ve ever known”, she asked. At that moment, I realized what a ghost of myself I had become, because I didn’t know either.

I was a pot that had been left on the backburner for so many years that when I looked inside I didn’t recognize what the contents were supposed to be; it was a molten mess of black tar that resembled nothing.

I had already been going to therapy, but I started actually showing up for myself in my daily life too. That was the turning point that led me to complete my marriage, which was the biggest act of self-love I had exercised to date.

When I was struggling again last year, I was sobbing to my therapist because I was so frustrated with finding myself at rock bottom again. “It has to be me. I’m the common denominator in my life. It has to be something with like how I make decisions or something because I keep hitting rock bottom”, I said.

My therapist responded, “I don’t think it’s you. I think you’ve always handled situations & made the best decision at each moment with the tools you had at the time. I think sometimes suffering just happens in a silo.”

I know she meant this to be comforting, but it left me feeling even more depressed & completely helpless. Because if it was true and life was just happening to me, then I was completely powerless to change any of it. I felt like I would be a victim of my life forever.

But then I discovered thought work & life coaching & it gave me the tools I was looking for. I was right: I am the common denominator in my life. Or rather, my brain is. I needed to learn how to change my thoughts in order to change my life.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

The first thing I did was go to therapy. The biggest thing my therapist helped me with was realizing that I wasn’t stuck, that I had options, and that I didn’t have to be sad and miserable forever.

The second major thing I did was to start taking care of myself. I started by making a commitment to doing my hair every single day for an entire month.

Then that progressed into waking up before my kids every day so that I could have time to pour into myself before being pulled in 50 different directions.

This step of learning how to take care of myself and making it a priority every single day was the most important step. I would not have been able to make the necessary life changes to improve my happiness if I didn’t first love myself enough to do it.

The third major thing I did was to go to the doctor when I recognized I needed medical intervention. 

The fourth major thing I did was I never gave up. I chose not to stay in the belief that I was stuck. I kept searching, I kept growing, I kept going. Which I was only able to do because I was committed to the work of loving myself.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I have become a very open book. It started with just my inner circle, then grew to acquaintances I had in real life, and now I freely share all of my stories through my podcast.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

It’s never too late to make a new decision. It’s never too late to be who you might have been. You are not stuck.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Unf*ck Your Brain Podcast: This podcast literally changed my life by teaching me thought work tools and introducing me to life coaching.
• Untamed, by Glennon Doyle: This book helped give me a tangible example of the power of loving yourself & having the guts to go for happiness, no matter what it took.
• Rising Strong, by Brene Brown: This book helped give me tools to keep going when I get knocked down.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. My podcast, F*ck It Mothering, can be found anywhere you get your podcasts.

Specific podcast episodes that pertain to what I spoke about here: 

• Shame
• Divorce & Intentional Single Motherhood
• Loving Yourself Series:
  • Be Your Own BFF
  • Be Your Own Valentine
  • My Name is NO (episode on boundaries)
  • My Love is For Me (episode on how to handle rejection)

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Overcoming Shame and Depression by Turning My Life Around With Therapy appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hello! I am Michelle Thielen, born, raised, and still dwelling in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with my husband Derek and our 4-legged kids.

I had a career in Architecture and Design for 15 years before starting a yoga school, YOGAFAITH, in 2013. After a wilderness season, divorce, depression, and a suicide attempt, gratefully, I found my way back to a beautiful and thriving life, where I am the happiest I have ever been!

A few of my passions include the arts. I grew up dancing, acting, playing piano, and modeling. These run deep in my veins, along with traveling the globe, speaking to others about living a life of purpose and passion, aiding in anti-trafficking efforts, and raising awareness about animal suffering.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

After an affair and divorce, I lost my job and what seemed like everything at the time. I began to fall into a deep dark pit that felt like there was no way to escape. It seemed like I was in heavy quicksand that kept burying me in any attempt to escape. Everything around me was dark and heavy. I was angry, bitter, and held resentment and unforgiveness that was poisoning my insides. 

The deeper the pit, the more isolated I became. Isolation is the enemy of our soul. It keeps us alone in our shame, anger, or fill-in-the-blank.

When we are alone in despair, there are no voices of reason. In this condition, our voice can’t be listened to because it’s full of lies, fears, and halfway truths that only sound good to our ears.

But these voices are unreasonable and dangerous. They may convince you to harm yourself or kill yourself as in my situation. I entertained these lies for far too long and acted out on them. The more isolated I became, the deeper the depression and hopelessness set in. There was no exit to this wilderness, or so it seemed. 

There have been times when depression tried to rear its ugly head once again. Not too long ago I heard the same old – and dangerous – voice, “The world really would be better off without you.”

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

This isolation, anger, unforgiveness, depression, and hopeless feeling were nothing I had ever experienced before. It was downright terrifying. The battle warring for my mind, heart, and my soul was tangible. I no longer remembered what happiness was or felt like.

Darkness and light can be like oil and vinegar, they just don’t like each other, and it’s impossible to mix the two. In my depression and darkness, I didn’t want to let light in. This included friends, and family, the ones that could help me, pull me out of the pit, and speak with voices of reason. Oh, if only I knew then what I know now.

When you experience a traumatic or grieving life event, it’s heartbreaking, yes, but it can be so shameful that those dangerous voices lead us to believe that our best days are behind us. That we can never be happy again – laugh again, and they just keep talking…talking…talking…

It feels impossible to change the narrative. We need others, we need help. Whether someone is offering their help or you need to ask for it, do it. As much as we want to stay isolated or ‘check out’ from life, hopelessness and isolation is the most dangerous place to be.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

One day my mom used her spare key to come in. She came upstairs to my bedroom and told me that I needed to open the blinds and let some light in. She walked over to open the blinds and the light blinded me like a vampire.

Neither of us had ever understood depression. As a child, I would ask, “Why can’t they ‘just’ get out of bed?” After she opened the blinds, she asked me to sit up, walk around, and just ‘get up.’ But I couldn’t. All I wanted was for the light to go away. “Please close the blinds!”

Eventually, after many attempts, it would be God and my mom who ushered in the light during these dark times. I was depressed for over a year turning down friends, jobs, church, and many other events. I was so close to ending my life, until God reached His arm down and pulled me out of the deepest, darkest pit I had ever known.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

At my darkest point, I attempted to take my own life. When I went to commit the act, I heard an audible voice say, “If you do this you will kill your mom of a broken heart.” It was as if a lightning bolt stuck through my entire body and jolted me out of a longtime trance.

Those words sobered me up and I began to crawl back into the light of day.

I received knowledge that if God could create this world by His words, then I could do the exact same in my world. I began speaking life instead of death. I had to change my thoughts to change my world.

Though the uphill climb out of the valley was difficult and long, I put one foot in front of the other each morning.

I did the things I knew to do: Get out of bed, get dressed, brush my teeth, and declare that I mattered, that I belonged, and taking up real estate on planet Earth was a gift to be treasured not snuffed out. 

It’s vital that you speak life-giving words aloud. You must get them out into the Universe – so that you hear them, believe them, and that God, the Universe, and all the laws of attraction can hear you too!

Another life-altering action I took is to forgive those who were harming my internal landscape. I had to release the poison within, Lord knows that those people moved on with their life years ago, they weren’t thinking of me, yet I was still stewing over them.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Adultery, divorce, depression, and suicide like us to be in isolation, stuck in our shame, and causing us to live with the lie that we are no good… That we have messed up far beyond repair and that we will never be the same or accepted again.

I was stuck in shame, and you may be too. We were not built to be alone. We need community and this will be the one thing that can pull you out of any pit of despair faster than anything. Surround yourself with supportive and loving people, people who are rooting for your success.

Find someone you trust, a close friend, a pastor, a parent, or perhaps you need someone you don’t know that well allowing you to spill all – such as a therapist or a counselor.

Be sure it’s a safe, nonjudgmental, and supportive space. When you’re in the healing process you are vulnerable, one hurt can trigger you back into a downward spiral.

Stay connected to a support system and you’ll learn that love always wins!

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Forgiveness is key. I could forgive others easier than I could myself. I’m writing these words just for you:

It’s time to forgive yourself! It’s time to let yourself off the hook so you can live again! Don’t waste one more second of your life believing lies. You matter! You belong and you deserve happiness and love!

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• The Bible: The day after I almost killed myself, I opened the Bible to Psalms 1, what started as a whisper and wishing, turned into confident affirmations that I believed! 
• Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen: Joel’s first book changed my life during my depression. It taught me how to think right.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

The last decade I’ve spent sharing YOGAFAITH, certifying instructors around the world, and authored two books, Stretching Your Faith: Practicing Postures of Prayer to Create Peace, Balance, and Freedom, as well as Exit Wilderness, A Road Map Out of Depression and Hopelessness.

You can also find me here on my website, Facebook, and Instagram.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Faith Helped me Climb Out of Depression and a Suicide Attempt appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Maria Leonard Olsen. I live in the Washington, D.C. area. I am a civil litigation attorney, podcaster, journalist, author, and mentor to women in recovery.

I consider myself to be happy, but I have changed my definition of happiness. For me, happiness used to mean excitement, and it came to me in bursts. Now, happiness is longer-lasting. It is a state of serenity. It is living my life in accordance with my values.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Over the course of my life, I have struggled with depression and anxiety. My life’s traumas include being sexually abused as a child, sexually assaulted as a teenager, and alcoholism. These traumas contributed to my struggles in life. I have had three major debilitating depressions.

My worst depressive episodes happened after a miscarriage, when my father died, and a few years after my divorce. Depression was always accompanied by anxiety.

During my worst depression experiences, I could do little. It felt like I was moving in slow motion. There were times when I was catatonic. It would take hours to make a simple decision. I would stare at the wall for hours. I felt like a ghost of myself.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

During my worst depression, my friends and family were afraid for me and bewildered. They pleaded with me to snap out of it. I could not.

People with no experience with depression have difficulty understanding it. That is changing, however, with media coverage and the epidemic levels of the malady.

I felt broken. I had suicidal ideation because I sometimes could not see a way out of it. A wise person told me my children would be much worse off if their mother killed herself. That stopped me in my tracks.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

My worst depression lasted about a year. Emerging from depression was gradual for me. I cannot pinpoint the day it lifted. It felt more like clouds floating out of my mind. Things became more clear and less belabored.

My multi-pronged approach to wellness is what effected a change for me. I believe self-care includes spiritual self-care, physical self-care, social self-care, mental self-care, and emotional self-care. All areas need attention.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I mentioned the five most important aspects of self-care. For spiritual self-care, I spent more time meditating. Meditating can be a few seconds of deep, centering breaths, or an hour of sitting silent or listening to a guided meditation. I also use walking meditation. Getting outside in nature helps me heal. I am a fan of forest bathing.

Physical self-care included getting enough sleep, forcing myself to eat healthy food, even if I wasn’t hungry and drinking enough water. It includes moving my body, whether that was by taking a walk or doing an online exercise workout. It meant going to the doctor for regular checkups.

Social self-care for me includes surrounding myself with people who encourage and support me. These people help me to become my best version. I am very careful about with whom I spend my time. I avoid energy vampires and negative people.

Mental self-care means I feed my mind with positive messages. I believe in affirmations. They help me re-train my mind. I also strive to learn something new each day. TED Talks provide excellent stimulation and good learning opportunities.

Emotional self-care means, for me, acknowledging my feelings, instead of denying they exist. I practice Dialectical Behavioral Therapy to deal with my emotions in a healthy way. I found a therapist to help me with this practice. I have learned to ride my emotions like riding a wave. I know it will pass, but I allow the emotions to be expressed.

In addition, through therapy, anti-depression, and anti-anxiety medications, I was able to crawl back out of these holes. Sometimes, one has to try different medications until one determines the optimal medicine for chemical imbalances in one’s brain.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I shared my struggles with my closest friends, as well as with a therapist. Remember that not all therapists are good fits. Try a couple before you settle on one.

I did not share my struggle at work. I did not feel they needed to know and was not sure if it would change their perception of my abilities. Luckily, I mostly work remotely.

I believe it is important to share one’s feelings with at least one trusted friend or therapist. Keeping it all locked inside can be damaging. Talking about things also helps to keep my perspective in check, in that I was prone to catastrophizing when my anxiety flared.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

You do not have to do this alone. You can get help. Courage is not the absence of fear, but feeling the fear and doing it anyway. There is much help available, even online. 

Don’t give up. Do even one thing toward helping yourself each day. These things build over time and cumulatively will help you emerge to a good place once again.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, helped me learn how not to take things personally.

Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning helped me realize that everything can be taken from us but our ability to choose our attitude in any situation.

Toltec Shaman, Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, helped me learn how not to take things personally.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

If you want to read my journey, check out my book, 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life. You can get it at bookstores, Amazon or the library.

My TEDx Talk, “Turning Life’s Challenges into a Force for Good,” can be found on YouTube.

• Maria’s website
• Maria’s Instagram
• Maria’s LinkedIn

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Overcame Depression and Suicidal Ideation: an Interview with Maria Leonard Olsen appeared first on Tracking Happiness.