Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I am DUVII. 

A figurehead embodying the resilience of a dove and the strength of the number seven, a symbol of my seven most challenging life chapters.

Why a dove, you may wonder? Throughout the Ancient Near East and Mediterranean regions, the dove was a symbol representing the mother goddess, associated with love, sexuality, and war. The number seven? It encapsulates the seven most profound stories of struggle, resilience, and strength I have lived through.

But behind this symbology, there’s a layered narrative of resilience and tenacity. As a devoted wife and mother in the fast-paced world of business, I play various roles: the nurturer at home, the cheerleader for my partner, and the innovator in the boardroom. Yet, beneath this multi-faceted persona, I grapple with an internal struggle that challenges my core.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

The struggle I wrestle with is not characterized by an official name, but its impact is profound and widely understood. It is grief, a debilitating and all-encompassing emotion, often experienced following the loss of a loved one. 

The onset of this struggle traces back to 2013 when my world was shattered by the untimely loss of my beautiful daughter, Jumana. She was only three years old when her light was abruptly extinguished. The loss was sudden and merciless, leaving no room for preparation or acceptance, catapulting me into a state of despair and confusion.

Over time, this struggle, this grief, has evolved rather than subsided. It changed from an intense, crushing presence into a constant companion, an undercurrent in the ebb and flow of my daily life. I learned to live alongside it, acknowledging its presence, but not allowing it to consume me completely. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

The symptoms of my grief manifested as despair, sorrow, a heightened sense of longing, and at times, a disconcerting numbness. At my worst moments, this struggle would envelop me in a shroud of overwhelming misery. It felt like being submerged in an ocean of pain, where every attempt to surface for air seemed insurmountable.

I was on a constant quest to find pieces of Jumana in every mundane aspect of life, every laughter, every innocent smile. The emptiness was both devastating and palpable, constantly looming over my day-to-day existence.

I immersed myself in work, not as a distraction but as a misguided hope of finding Jumana somewhere in the routines of everyday life. I traveled, only to be met with the raw and unbearable truth – she was not with me.

The intensity of my struggle was, at times, visible to those around me. Yet, in my quest to maintain a semblance of normalcy, I often found myself hiding the depth of my pain.

While my outward facade portrayed a resilient woman carrying on with life, inside, I was grappling with the rawness of my grief. The smiles were often forced, the laughter a performance.

I had become proficient at the art of masking my pain, cloaking it behind the responsibilities of being a mother, a wife, and a professional. I believed that revealing the magnitude of my struggle might impose my sorrow on others, so I bore it mostly in silence and solitude.

However, there were also moments of vulnerability when the weight of my grief was too significant to bear alone. Those were the moments when the facade would crumble, revealing the devastating reality of my loss.

It was during these moments that my struggle was apparent to those closest to me. They bore witness to the profound pain that had deeply imprinted on my life, a testament to a struggle that was deeply personal, yet universally understood by those who have experienced loss.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I was sitting alone in my immense heartache when I also found a lesson; the force of grief is merely the mirror of the love we carry. Grief is love that yearns to be given but finds no recipient. It wells up in our hearts and spills out through our eyes, fills the lumps in our throats, and resonates in the hollow parts of our chests.

This realization marked a turning point in my healing process. I recognized that my identity was not lost but transformed by my experiences.

And, importantly, my purpose was to channel this love, this grief, into something constructive for others, acting as a beacon of hope for those struggling through their dark hours. I began to help people, children in particular, drawing strength from the smiles on their faces.

It was through this transformative journey, I discovered that grieving, healing, and living aren’t linear processes, but intertwined strands of our existence. Healing isn’t about forgetting; it’s about learning to live with loss, about embracing love and pain simultaneously.

This transformation was primarily a result of my own actions, as I sought to channel my grief into expressions that were constructive and cathartic. I’d say the change was 90% the result of my actions and 10% the result of my circumstances.

My realization wasn’t a result of a particular event or change in my surroundings, but rather a deeper understanding of the nature of grief and love that stemmed from introspection.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

A crucial element in my healing journey was music. Music had always been an integral part of my life, but it took on a new significance after Jumana’s passing.

It became a lifeline, a form of expression, and a connection to my daughter. I channeled my feelings into songwriting and composition, creating music that not only helped me process my grief but also reached out to others who might be experiencing similar pain.

‘Goodbye,’ one of my upcoming songs, is a testament to this journey – an ode to Jumana, to loss, to love, and to the resilience of the human spirit. It’s not just about saying goodbye to a loved one, but about finding a way to carry their memory forward with grace and strength.

I also found solace and strength in helping others. I became involved in organizations supporting bereaved families, providing both emotional and financial assistance.

I found a sense of purpose in this work, and it became a part of my healing process. Seeing their resilience, their ability to find joy in life amidst profound loss, continually inspired me.

For those in a similar situation, I would recommend a few things. First, do not hesitate to seek professional help. Therapy can provide valuable tools and strategies for coping with grief, and a therapist can offer a safe, nonjudgmental space to express and understand your feelings.

Secondly, find an outlet for your emotions – be it music, art, writing, or any activity that helps you process your feelings. Lastly, consider reaching out to others who are also grieving. Connect with support groups or organizations where you can share your experiences and draw strength from others who understand your journey. The path of grief is a long and arduous one, but you do not have to walk it alone.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Sharing my struggle initially felt like an insurmountable task. Despite the pain I felt, I found myself hiding my grief from those around me. The people I interacted with daily – friends, colleagues, even extended family – seemed to exist on a different plane.

I felt like an alien in my own life, separated from others by the vast gulf of my grief. I feared that sharing my pain might burden them, or worse, that they might not understand.

Despite this, there were a few individuals I felt comfortable opening up to, especially my husband. We shared the loss of Jumana, and he was one of the few people who could truly understand my pain.

But even within this shared sorrow, there were limits. We grieved differently, and while we supported each other as best we could, I often found myself retreating into solitude to bear the weight of my grief.

One unexpected source of comfort came from my elderly neighbor. His empathetic presence, as someone who had also experienced a profound loss, provided a safe space for me to express my sorrow.

We shared stories of our lost loved ones, and in this shared grief, I found a sense of solace and understanding. Through him, I realized that my pain was not an isolating factor but a connection to others who had experienced a similar loss.

Sharing my struggle has been an essential part of my healing journey. I have learned that it is okay to be vulnerable, to seek support, and to express my feelings openly. It has taught me the importance of community, shared experiences, and the healing power of empathy.

I would encourage anyone going through a similar experience to reach out to those around them, whether they be friends, family, or even acquaintances. You may be surprised by the comfort and understanding you find.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

If I could share a single piece of advice, it would be to remember that it’s okay to grieve, and it’s okay to let that grief shape you. You need to allow yourself to feel the pain, the sorrow, and the emptiness because these emotions are part of your healing journey.

It’s okay to mourn, to miss, and to long for the ones you’ve lost. Your grief is a testament to your love, and that love continues to exist even after loss.

What I wish I knew earlier, and what I want to share, is that you are not alone in your struggle. Grief, in its solitude, can make you feel isolated, but remember that there are others who understand, who empathize, and who are willing to share in your pain.

Reach out to them. Share your stories, your memories, and your feelings. There is comfort to be found in shared sorrow, and through this, you can begin to heal.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

There were two books that really helped me in my healing process-

• The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion: This book, a heartfelt memoir about Joan Didion’s journey of grieving the loss of her husband, helped me realize that my feelings of disorientation and confusion were a normal part of the grieving process. It also gave me a language to express my own grief.
• On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler: This book was instrumental in helping me understand the stages of grief and that what I was experiencing was part of a well-documented process. It helped me accept my feelings and gave me a roadmap to navigate my journey of healing.  

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can learn more about my journey and my music through my website. To stay connected on a day-to-day basis, you can follow me on my Instagram. I love sharing my process and inspirations with my followers. My music is available on Apple Music and Spotify.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Navigated Grief By Learning to Embrace Both Love and Pain Together appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi! I’m Sonia. I am a former orthodontist. I built and sold a successful multi-location practice in 2016 and I got sober in 2017. I live in rural Pennsylvania after living in Philadelphia and NYC for the past 15 years. I have 2 adorable tiny elderly dogs. I am an avid fine art photographer, writer, and I love spending time with my 3 nieces.

I consider myself to be resilient in terms of happiness. I have moments of sadness but always bounce back and can experience joy.

There was a time when I thought the hardest thing I would ever have to do was get through my childhood, then I thought it was getting sober, and now it is going through a divorce.

And I know that there will be more challenges in my life that may be even harder, but I know I’ll get through them and experience joy again. I’ve learned something amazing from each of these experiences.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I had a misspent youth and early adulthood in terms of substance abuse. I consider myself a former addict. I was self-medicating the extreme anxiety and depression that I started experiencing at an early age. As a result, I was drinking by the time I was 15 years old.

It progressed from binge drinking to daily drinking when I started my first business.

I worked so much that my mental health and drinking spiraled out of control. I had no other coping mechanisms for stress. I have never developed healthy habits and didn’t think I had time to start because the business was experiencing explosive growth. I just wasn’t willing to stop and deal with it. Big mistake. 

I’ve been sober for almost 6 years and some days it feels easy and normal. But it takes practicing daily healthy habits – eating properly, exercising, keeping in touch with my family regularly, journaling, and taking time to unwind. When I skip some of these steps I start to feel shaky in both my sobriety and my mental health struggles.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Well, for me, the downsides of self-medicating were pretty obvious – I had developed an addiction to alcohol, and I was deteriorating physically and emotionally. I had no coping mechanisms for stress and thought I had no time to develop them. I had let go of any semblance of a healthy lifestyle.

I also had no personal interests and was constantly disappointing myself. I was a classic high-functioning alcoholic which allows you to mask your problems from the people around you and creates distance in your relationships.

I was the life of the party, the wild one who was always up for anything borderline illegal or immoral.

Turns out that’s not me at all. They never saw the hangovers that lasted for days, the sprained ankle when I tripped in heels, they only saw what I wanted them to see – a professional, successful woman who knew how to have a good time.

Inside I was struggling with so many demons. From my self-own esteem, major imposter syndrome, severe anxiety, and questioning why I didn’t want to have a baby.

Still, I was able to ignore these things. I made sure no one knew any of my issues.

Now, I’m an open book – whether someone wants to hear it or not. I’ll talk about my childhood trauma at a cocktail party, about my husband’s infidelity, about trips to exotic places that I can’t really remember because of my spiraling addiction. Maybe I’m an oversharer now but the secrets had fractured me into different people and the truth keeps me whole.

Overall, I was becoming someone I didn’t like. I can’t even picture who I would be if I had kept going down that road. I’m so glad I veered off that path when I did.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Sort of unexpectedly, I was speaking with a head hunter looking for some executive-level help for my business, and he asked ‘would you ever consider selling’ and said he knew of a group looking for exactly what I had built – I had been so focussed that I hadn’t even realized what I had built, so I got an offer to sell my business and I couldn’t turn it down. 

It was a long due diligence period. But I knew that I was staring down the barrel of a gun and that with my days less busy I would start drinking more. Without something to keep me busy, I would probably start doing more drugs.

Also, I knew I was about to lose my identity as a hard-core professional, business person, and boss. So I quit. I had to now find a way to treat my anxiety and depression and was finally in a place to seek professional help and medication. 

If this situational change hadn’t taken place, I don’t know if I would have ever quit. If I had stayed in that high-pressure environment I would have kept making excuses for my behavior. Even though I knew I had a problem I definitely wouldn’t have quit drinking for at least another 5 years. So I would say that my improvement was 99% environmental.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Without knowing, I had been working on a list of things I wanted to do when I ‘had more time’.

That actually turned out to be my pathway to recovery. I went to school for photography, coding, I took writing classes, jewelry-making classes, I started exercising, eating healthy, taking baths, meditating, and journaling.

These steps all helped me overcome my struggle. I call it – doing all the things.

These all gave me such a strong sense of self and pride, both feelings I had been missing for as long as I can remember. I think immersing yourself in things you love is a great healer and exponentially increases happiness.

Also, I wanted to focus on other things that spoke to my values and I was passionate about. That strengthened my sobriety and mental health. And I wanted to give back and be of service.

I wanted to make a social impact. I started volunteering with different non-profit organizations and giving my time to help people prepare their resumes and get ready for job interviews. I was able to use my experience as a business owner to give advice and feedback. Spending time with people that were also struggling was life-changing. I no longer had to wear a mask of perfection. I could let my guard down and name my illness. 

I would say for several years, my hobbies and connecting with others were my greatest healers.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I was involved in volunteering with the incarcerated and formerly incarcerated providing entrepreneurship training through a nonprofit program.

I was sharing my story with them and it was freeing for me after so many years of hiding. I had never shared the story of my addiction. In fact, I never even called it an addiction. In prison, I was able to talk about my childhood trauma that contributed to my addiction, and the feelings I was trying to numb.

I learned about how much we truly had in common. We had all been through some serious stuff. I was able to show them that I was literally one bad decision or one bad night from being where they were. And that there was hope in recovery and that I had turned my life around as well.

The conversations that followed were profound and all I want is to give them some hope that there is life after addiction.

My then-husband was extremely difficult to talk to about my struggle. To a certain extent, I think he was embarrassed that his wife was an addict and suffered from mental illness. He was not someone who dealt with weakness in himself or in others and considered addiction a weakness. To him, the solution was not to talk about it, it was to stop doing it. 

Now I really enjoy sharing my story and I want to know other people’s stories of redemption and discovery. I love hearing stories of how people radically transformed their life after addiction.

People in recovery have an innate understanding of each other. We all used substances to prevent ourselves from feeling. Some are numbing loss, illness, traumatic memories, anger, disappointment, or failure. But all of us have experienced pain that we only knew how to get through by using. 

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Don’t wait to get help. There are treatment options for addiction, anxiety, and depression. 

I now understand that what I was doing was self-medicating and that it prevented me from developing healthy habits. A healthy lifestyle is as much for the mind as it is for the body.

Eating properly, sleeping enough, and exercising are ways to keep me in balance. Self-medicating is not a healthy option and when drugs and alcohol are used in this way, it results in addiction and worsening of mental illness.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Atomic Habits by James Clear
• The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday
• The podcast ‘From Idea to Startup’ by Brian Scordato

Where can we go to learn more about you?

After getting sober, I became a recovery coach and have dedicated my life to making a difference with social impact investing and volunteering with the incarcerated, formerly incarcerated, and victims of sex trafficking.

Now, I hope to create my biggest impact by leveraging the power of peer support to create a community for those on their recovery journey with my new venture EverBlume.

You can find more information regarding my writing on my Medium blog, or you can follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Transformed From a High-Functioning Alcoholic to Helping Others Thrive appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I’m Michelle Giordano, I am a Community Counselor and Outreach Specialist for Live Another Day. After earning degrees in Community Counseling, Psychology, and Sociology, I have worked in a variety of clinical settings including an Inpatient Treatment Hospital, IOP treatment facility, and a Substance Abuse/Recovery Outpatient Treatment Center.

I am based in the U.S., I’m married, and I have a pet monitor lizard. My passion is to touch as many lives as possible, in a positive way. I am big on making impacts and my line of work helps me to make a difference in individual lives.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I struggled with loneliness and depression.

The bad emotions that can arise when your demands for social interaction aren’t met are referred to as loneliness. It’s acceptable to occasionally cherish your alone time.

In fact, solitude may promote relaxation and recharging. You could require more alone time than another person to feel your best because everyone has varied needs for it.

However, loneliness and being alone are not nearly the same. You’re less likely to feel negatively lonely or yearn for social interaction when you’re enjoying your isolation. Loneliness and isolation frequently go hand in hand, and both can have an impact on physical and mental health.

As a psychologist, I’m aware that the terrible global problem of loneliness has evolutionary roots. Feelings of loneliness serve as a warning of isolation and remind us of the corresponding anguish. Lack of necessary social connections and lack of affection in existing social relationships are two characteristics of loneliness. 

As a result of my struggle with loneliness, I began to self-isolate. I felt hopeless and felt like interactions were a chore. Everything was an endless loop of routine and I could not wait for each day to end.

It started when the pandemic started. The lockdown didn’t help matters because it just gave me opportunities to be even more alone and lonely. 

I was initially in denial, but then it began to progress because I was nonchalant about it. 

It has its moment, I didn’t always let it show because I got better at hiding it until I couldn’t anymore.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At my worst moment, this struggle of loneliness had me feeling hopeless. I was in an endless loop of sadness and I didn’t feel like seeking help. 

I tried to hide it, but eventually, it began to show. My partner began to notice differences in my style, mood swings, wanting to be excluded from plans, and my endless need to cave in at any slightest discomfort.

Eventually, I began to feel like I was losing everything, including my mind. I felt like I was pushing everyone that mattered to me away. I began to realize that it wasn’t just about me and gradually, I began to open up more.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

My struggle impacted me for almost the entire year 2020. Towards the end of 2020, when the lockdown was getting bearable and more relaxed, that’s when I started to turn things around.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

One thing I did to overcome my struggle with loneliness was to volunteer and participate in community events. I volunteered at the children’s and youth center, and I helped to organize rewarding events. I made sure that my participation in these activities didn’t only distract me, but that it also felt rewarding.

It kept me motivated, it got me closer to people and I positively impacted the lives of others.

I also adopted a monitor lizard, it was a weird choice but I have not regretted it.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I felt comfortable talking to my partner, but besides that, I only talked about it with very few of my trusted friends. 

I didn’t feel confident talking about it at work, because I was afraid that they’d gossip about it or talk about how hypocritical it was for a psychologist to get caught up in the same battle she helps others to fight. 

I’m now unashamed to share my struggles because when I meet someone with a similar struggle, my experience helps them to be comfortable and confident.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I wish that people would be more understanding. I also wish that I didn’t hesitate for too long before seeking help. Now that I know the reason for my struggle, I wish that I didn’t let it get to me for so long.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone by Olivia Laing – This book explores the theme of loneliness through the lives and works of artists such as Edward Hopper, Andy Warhol, and David Wojnarowicz. Laing delves into the complexities of loneliness and how it can lead to a deeper understanding of the self and human connection.

It helped me to connect more with myself, explore the dynamics of my current relationships, and how my perception of loneliness depended on how I looked at it and what defined loneliness to me.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

People can find me here at Live Another Day.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Michelle Overcame Loneliness by Volunteering in her Community appeared first on Tracking Happiness.