Integrity is all about living according to your values and principles, even if it’s hard. Integrity isn’t something you achieve, but rather, something you consciously choose every day. When you know your values, they will act like a compass pointing you in the right direction. Communicating assertively and striving to always be honest with yourself and others will also help you live your life with integrity. 

In this article, I’ll take a look at what integrity is and what it consists of, and more importantly, some ways to live with integrity. 

What is integrity, anyway?

Integrity is something we like to see in leaders, politicians, teachers, and health professionals, as well as in our loved ones and in ourselves. But ask people to define “integrity” and you’ll likely run into hesitant attempts at trying to find the right words. 

Before reading on, I recommend trying to define what “integrity” means for you. If you have someone nearby, try asking them, too.

My own understanding of the word has been sullied by the research I’ve done for this article – which I will present shortly – but for me, “integrity” is best described in Frank Sinatra’s My Way. 

If you’re not familiar with the song, I recommend giving it a listen. In short, the lyrics tell the story of a man at the end of his life, reflecting on how he faced all of life’s joys and hardships his way – in other words, with unwavering integrity: 

For what is a man, what has he got

If not himself, then he has naught

Not to say the things that he truly feels

And not the words of someone who kneels

The record shows I took all the blows

And did it my way

My Way – Frank Sinatra

Many definitions of integrity have to do with having a strong internal moral compass and behaving according to your values and principles. It’s closely connected to ethics and morality and is considered a foundational moral virtue. 

Honesty is also often mentioned, especially in dictionary definitions. 

It’s also interesting to note that in my native Estonian, there’s no direct translation of the word “integrity” (which isn’t to say that we’re unfamiliar with the concept), but the word is most often translated as ausameelne and põhimõttekindel, meaning “honest” and “principled”. 

Chances are that your own definition also used similar keywords. 

There’s another great take on integrity that is often falsely attributed to author C. S. Lewis: “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.”

This is a paraphrase of the following quote from comedian and motivational speaker Charles Marshall: 

Integrity is doing the right thing when you don’t have to—when no one else is looking or will ever know—when there will be no congratulations or recognition for having done so.”

Charles Marshall

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

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Values and morals and principles, oh my

In a way, integrity can be thought of as a compass that points you in the right direction, your own magnetic north. In this metaphor, values, morals, and principles are the needle of the compass aligning you with your north, not the north itself. 

It’s important to make this distinction because sometimes, we can treat integrity and values like goals or destinations. For example, we might say that we want to act with integrity. If we value acceptance, we might say that we want to achieve acceptance. 

Goals are good to have, but values aren’t goals. Therapist and coach Dr. Russ Harris writes:

Values are not about what you want to get or achieve; they are about how you want to behave or act on an ongoing basis; how you want to treat yourself, others, the world around you.

Russ Harris

The same goes for morals and principles: they aren’t something you achieve, they’re something you act on. You can’t become a moral person by doing immoral things in the name of the greater good; you are a moral person if you consciously choose to be one. 

It should go without saying that everyone’s values, morals, and principles are different. Even if our general definition of integrity is the same, our integrity won’t look the same. 

For example, some people make a point of being independent and never relying on anyone else, while others will build a group or a network to consolidate forces and achieve more through cooperation. 

And we haven’t even tapped into the numerous political or religious differences that are often inseparable from our values and principles. 

How to live with integrity

It’s not always easy to act with integrity, but that’s not the point: integrity isn’t doing what’s easy, it’s doing what’s right. If you’re looking to build your own compass, look no further: here are 6 tips on how to live with integrity. 

1. Find your values

It’s much easier to stand for what’s right if you know what you stand for. Integrity often starts from figuring out and defining your values. 

There are many ways to go about this. For example, you can simply try to brainstorm and write down behaviors and characteristics that you value in yourself and others. 

If you need a cheat sheet, I recommend the values handout from Dr Russ Harris or this one from Therapist Aid. 

The most important thing is to take as much time as you need and be completely honest with yourself. Keep in mind that values in different domains of life can sometimes contradict each other: you may value independence in your personal life and cooperation at work or vice versa. You may also find that your values don’t entirely align with those of your loved ones or role models. Don’t be discouraged if these things happen: you’re working out your own values, not someone else’s. 

2. Make conscious decisions

A large part of living with integrity is acting with intent. This means making conscious decisions in your relationships, career, or life in general. 

When we’re unsure of what path to take, we tend to postpone making the decision until the decision is made for us. This can apply to small, inconsequential decisions like where to have dinner (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone back and forth between two spots until one of them closes and I’m only left with one option) or to bigger, more important things like relationships. 

Small choices are a good place to practice conscious decision-making. Take the time to weigh your options and make the best choice you can with the information you have. In retrospect, it might turn out to be the “wrong” choice, but we can’t see the future.

Living with integrity means making choices that are yours, no matter how “right” or “wrong”. 

3. Strive to be honest with yourself and others

We’ve all told a white lie every now and then, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, it’s a conscious decision to preserve a loved one’s peace of mind, or sometimes we’re just trying to save our own skin. 

However, honesty is an integral part of integrity. This can mean telling your friend what you really think about their new haircut, being truthful with your spouse about the cost of your new gadget (and having a long think about your relationship if that’s something you can’t be truthful about), or owning up to your mistakes. 

It’s completely okay to still tell a little white lie when you need to, as long as you understand why it was necessary. But consider being honest first: it’s often easier to excuse your late arrival by blaming the traffic, but consider if admitting that you slept in would really be the end of the world you think it is. 

Things happen, people make mistakes and you’re no exception. And there’s nothing wrong with being honest about that. 

4. Be assertive

Integrity can mean standing up for yourself and asserting your needs or opinions. When you’re used to being passive, being assertive can feel aggressive. Similarly, when you’re used to aggressive communication, assertiveness can feel like submitting. 

Assertiveness is all about expressing yourself clearly and effectively while remaining respectful and non-judgemental of other people. It’s communicating your needs without disregarding the needs of others. Assertive communication is always based on mutual respect. 

A common way to practice assertive communication is to use “I” statements. For instance, instead of saying “You’re wrong”, say “I disagree”. 

A longer form of an “I” statement incorporates your feelings and thoughts without judging the other person. For example, instead of “You’re always late!”, use “I’m upset when you’re late because I don’t know if you’re going to make it. In the future, can you let me know when you’re going to be late, so I don’t worry so much?”

Here’s an entire article dedicated to how to be more assertive in your life.

5. Embrace continuous learning with a growth mindset

Integrity isn’t just about adhering to your values; it’s also about being open to growth and new perspectives.

Embrace continuous learning as a way to deepen and sometimes challenge your understanding of what it means to live with integrity. This might involve seeking out new experiences, reading broadly, or engaging in meaningful conversations. By committing to lifelong learning, you’re acknowledging that integrity involves an evolving understanding of yourself and the world around you.

Set aside time each week to engage with new ideas. This could be through books, documentaries, workshops, or discussions with individuals who inspire you. Reflect on how these insights might shape or reaffirm your values. Keep a journal of your reflections and how they might influence your actions moving forward.

6. Build a social network of integrity

Integrity is often seen as a personal virtue, but it gains tremendous strength when supported by a community. Engage with groups and networks that reflect the values you hold dear. This can reinforce your personal commitment to living with integrity and provide you with examples and role models.

Additionally, being part of a community can offer support when making difficult decisions that reflect your values.

Identify groups, clubs, or online communities that align with your values and actively participate in them. Offer your skills and time to community services or groups that uphold the principles you believe in. Regularly engage in community discussions and activities to keep your understanding of integrity dynamic and informed by diverse perspectives.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

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Wrapping up

Integrity isn’t easy, because it’s not about doing what’s easy, it’s all about doing what’s right. However, when you make the conscious decision to live with honesty and integrity, you may find life easier to navigate, because you have your own internal compass of values and principles to guide you. 

What do you think? Do you live with integrity, or do you find it difficult to have your actions aligned with what you believe in? I’d love to continue this post in the comments below!

Maili Tirel Author

School psychologist, teacher and internet counselor from Estonia. Passionate about coffee, reading, dancing, and singing in the shower, much to the neighbors’ dismay. Counseling catchphrase: “It’s okay!“

The post 6 Ways to Live a Life With Integrity (and Why it Matters) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

You know it’s possible because you see others around you have it. And that could easily evoke jealousy, but instead, let it inspire you. Because the fact that other people have it means that it’s possible to achieve in the first place. In this article, we’ll look at some ways that you can too. This isn’t about chanting mantras or relying on mere luck. We’re talking real, actionable ways to shift your mindset and habits to open the doors to abundance and prosperity. 

Understandably, there are no guarantees — but as someone who used to Google this question myself, and has tried all the tips below firsthand, I can tell you they have real power. So let’s dive in and see if they can help you achieve your dreams too. 

9 ways to attract abundance and prosperity into your life

Manifesting abundance and prosperity is clearly something all of us want. And the good news is, it’s possible for all of us too. Here are 9 specific ways how.

1. Use gratitude

From a spiritual perspective, gratitude is the way to attract abundance into your life. You may have heard of the concept “What you appreciate, appreciates”. Practically any manifestation teacher teaches this in one wording or another.

For example, here is an excerpt from Conversations with God: 

You will not have that for which you ask, nor can you have anything you want. This is because your very request is a statement of lack, and your saying you want a thing only works to produce that precise experience — wanting — in your reality. 

The correct prayer is therefore never a prayer of supplication, but a prayer of gratitude. 

When you thank God in advance for that which you choose to experience in your reality, you, in effect, acknowledge that it is there… in effect. Thankfulness is thus the most powerful statement to God; an affirmation that even before you ask, I have answered. 

Therefore never supplicate. Appreciate.”

Even if we discard all of these arguments, there are immense health and psychological benefits to practicing gratitude. So if gratitude doesn’t bring abundance and prosperity in the financial sense, it does at least in terms of your happiness and wellbeing. 

2. Stop demonizing money

Let’s dive into a thought that manifestation coach Kathrin Zenkina often brings up regarding wealth and abundance. 

Many people, deep down, really want to have wealth and abundance, but they also demonize it. They believe that rich people are evil, that money just corrupts people, that people with a lot of money waste it and ruin the planet, that they are selfish and snobby, and arrogant. Well, does that sound like something you truly want in your life?

A lot of us, without even realizing it, are in this weird love-hate relationship with money. We want it, but then we also demonize it. “Rich people are evil,” “Money corrupts,” “Rich people waste money,” and so on. Does that sound like something you’d eagerly accept an abundance of?

You end up with a very powerful subconscious block. If you do get money, you feel guilty, because all the things you used to say about rich people now apply to you. And of course, you don’t want to become one of them — so you resist it.

To change this narrative, it’s very necessary to realize one thing: money, in itself, isn’t evil. It’s like your hands – neutral tools capable of doing great or terrible things, depending on who’s in control. If a person commits a crime, we don’t blame their hands right? And if they save a life, it’s not their hands we celebrate. It’s the person behind the action that counts. Money is the exact same — it’s a neutral tool, at your disposal. 

So, if you feel that some rich people use money poorly, or let it “corrupt” them, remember this: you have the power to choose differently. It’s like owning a knife — you could use it in harmful ways, sure. But you could also use it to whip up a fantastic meal or perform life-saving surgery. It’s all about how you wield it. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

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3. Truly believe in abundance

Here’s a key question if you want to attract abundance and prosperity. Whatever it is you want an abundance of, do you believe there is truly enough to go around for everyone?

Manifestation Coach Kathrin Zenkina points out a common limiting belief that trips many of us up. It’s the idea that if you’re raking in the dough, you must be taking it from someone else. As if there’s this giant money pie, and your bigger slice is someone else’s missing piece.

As she explains, money flows “through” other people, not “from” them. It’s not like we all start with an equal share and then play a game of financial musical chairs. Money is more like a river than a pie – it’s constantly flowing and circulating. Spending it is temporary; it’s just part of the money’s journey. And when you earn it, remember, it’s just stopping by before it flows on again.

This same principle applies to other areas, like success. Ever heard someone say, “There’s only so much room at the top”? That comes from the scarcity mindset. It would mean that when one person reaches success, they are preventing someone else from doing so. 

Following up on our examination of beliefs in the section above, you need to turn these beliefs around. And since the proof is in the pudding, look around for real-life examples.

Take, for instance, influencer couples like @mariefeandjakesnow and @explorersareus. They work in the same sphere and could’ve seen each other as threats. But instead, they teamed up to create a fantastic course that couldn’t have happened without their teamwork, boosting wealth for both. In any other profession, you also have examples of people collaborating, starting schools together, and growing together. 

Ultimately, you want to adopt the belief “I celebrate this person’s success as proof that being successful is possible. And I can have it too, without taking away from theirs.” 

4. Consider what it is you really want (it’s not just about the money!)

Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty: what do you really want? Spoiler alert – it’s definitely not just a fat bank account. Because if that’s what you really wanted, you wouldn’t want to ever touch that money. (Spending it would mean you would no longer have that fat bank account!) Rather, when people dream of being rich, it’s actually freedom they’re after. 

For example, say you’re strolling along the beach on a scorching day, and there’s this lemonade stand. The lemonade is a bit pricey, but hey, you buy it without a second thought because you can. Or imagine deciding on a whim to dine at your favorite restaurant, just because you feel like it. That’s the kind of freedom we’re talking about.

But here’s the thing – you don’t actually need a million dollars for these moments. What you need is enough for that slightly overpriced lemonade or that meal. It’s not about having a mountain of cash; it’s about having the means to enjoy life’s little pleasures.

And let’s go a step further. Sometimes, it’s not even about the money at all. Maybe it’s about having the time and skills to make your own lemonade or scoring a coupon for your favorite restaurant. It’s about thinking creatively to fulfill your desires without necessarily having a hefty bank balance. But we can only do that once we take our eyes off the target of “having a lot of money” and onto what actually matters to us. 

5. Find proof of abundance around you – in all its forms

When we talk about abundance, it’s easy to zero in on money. Sure, money is a form of abundance, but it’s just one piece of a much bigger puzzle. Abundance is everywhere, in countless forms, and in areas of life that matter even more – like health, relationships, and joy. And there is a lot of abundance that is already in your life.

No matter what life circumstances you’re in, you surely have:

• An abundance of love that you feel for your loved ones.
• An abundance of air that is available for you to breathe.
• An abundance of good memories, hopes, or dreams.
• An abundance of food that is available to you.
• An abundance of electricity you have access to (to access this article on your device).
• An abundance of molecules and atoms that make up your body.

Those are just a few examples — you’re bound to find many more specific to your life. And you can even step outside of it, and consider the abundance in the world at large. Manifestation coach Kathrin Zenkina gives a great example of noticing abundance in nature. There’s an abundance of trees in the forest, an abundance of leaves in every tree. 

And in an indirect way, you also have an abundance of money around you. Because all the items that are in your vicinity right now represent money. All of them came about as the result of an exchange of money, of the flow of money. All the items you own right now were once money too. These things all represent money. 

We started out by speaking about the power of gratitude. And this ties in beautifully here. Manifestation itself works on the principle of “like attracts like.” So to attract more abundance and prosperity into your life, start by appreciating the abundance you already have. 

6. Start living with abundance right now

The definition of abundance is something in great or plentiful supply. But how much is “plenty” exactly? Many people equate abundance with staggering, lottery-win amounts of money. However, abundance can start much smaller and still be just as meaningful.

Manifestation coach Kathrin Zenkina once shared this insightful thought: If you can’t give away 10% of 10 dollars, how can you expect to give away 10% of a million? It’s a mindset thing. Even if you have just 5 dollars, you can find an “abundance” even in 50 cents of that. Consider that tiny bit as a surplus, a little extra you can play with.

The challenge is to start recognizing and living with the abundance you have right now, no matter how small. Find that ‘extra’ in whatever you have, even if it’s just a single cent from a dollar.

Now, what do you do with this excess? It circles back to your personal definition of abundance. Is it about building a robust savings account for retirement? Supporting causes you believe in? Treating yourself to life’s little luxuries, like fine dining or high-end gadgets? That’s where your little surplus starts to take on a bigger meaning.

And remember, abundance isn’t always about money. Maybe right now, you’re low on funds but rich in time. That’s abundance too, which you can choose to spend in an aligned way. Or consider love – an endless resource. Try wishing love on every person you see. You’ll be practicing abundance — and giving yourself a great happiness boost at the same time. 

It’s true that your current abundance might not match up to your ultimate goal. But cherish the fact that it’s there at all. Celebrate this existing abundance in your life. If you can’t appreciate and use a little, how will you manage when you have a lot? Moreover, why would the universe bless you with more if you can’t cherish what you already have?

Abundance doesn’t start at any minimum value — start living by it right now. 

7. Replace thoughts of lack with affirmations of abundance

If you’re looking for ways to attract abundance and prosperity into your life, you might believe you currently don’t have abundance and prosperity. 

And what I suggest here is not that we delude ourselves or deny facts, like having a certain amount of money in our bank account. Those are facts and information that are necessary for us to look at honestly. 

However, when awareness of facts turns into a mindset of lack and scarcity, it impacts your decisions and your journey to abundance.

Think of it this way: If you’re tutoring a student, but deep down, you believe they’re bound to fail, you’re not going to put your heart into teaching them. Subconsciously, you would think, “What’s the point? It won’t make a difference.” 

Likewise, if you’re going through life thinking you never have enough and you’re destined to be poor, you won’t make a lot of progress in attracting abundance.

In fact, even some researchers support the idea that your thoughts create your reality:

“Each and every tiny cell in our body is perfectly and absolutely aware of our thoughts, feelings, and of course, our beliefs. If you believe you are fragile, the biochemistry of your body unquestionably obeys and manifests it. If you believe you are tough (irrespective of your weight and bone density!), your body undeniably mirrors it.” 

So we need to use something called cognitive reframing. This means shifting your mindset so you’re able to look at a situation from a different, more positive perspective.

It’s not about lying to yourself but shifting your focus from scarcity to abundance in a way that still feels honest and authentic.

Consider affirmations like:

• Money is always flowing my way.
• I am in the process of attracting wealth and prosperity into my life.
• I am worthy of having the money I desire.

If these affirmations seem a stretch, remember a time when you didn’t have something you do now. Maybe it’s the apartment you live in, your partner, your current job, or even overcoming a tough phase in life.

At one point, these things felt out of reach, but now they’re a natural part of your life. Just like those past challenges, your current situation can also transform. It’s just a phase, and with a shift in perspective, what feels scarce now can become your next natural abundance.

8. Give to others without expectations

What is abundance truly about? It means you have more than enough — therefore, you can give to others without needing anything in return. This is why pure generosity is the ultimate expression of abundance.

Consider this example: say you have just enough food to survive. You can give some of it to someone else, but then you’ll need them to give you something back so that you have enough. Therefore, you keep a tally and have an expectation from them. This is the mindset of lack — “I don’t have enough, therefore I need something from you.”

But if you had an abundance of food, you could give some to others without caring if they give you something back or not. If they don’t, you won’t lose anything. And if they do, you can celebrate it as another act of abundance. This is the mindset of abundance — “I give to others no matter if I get something back or not, because either way, I have plenty. My ability to be generous doesn’t depend on others’ ability to give me something too.”

And ironically, when you give without expecting anything back, abundance often finds its way back to you. It may not come from the same person or even in the form you expect, but it circulates back into your life. 

9. Pay attention to inspired ideas 

The concept of ‘attracting’ or ‘manifesting’ abundance is often misunderstood and sometimes oversimplified. It sounds like something that happens mainly in your mind, without any action or tangible work. I was both fascinated and confused by this, so I wanted to figure out what it really meant.

After hearing over 200 episodes on the topic from manifestation coach Kathrin Zenkina, I’m convinced that manifestation would be better termed ‘manifest-action’.

Because yes, the mindset is a powerful component of getting what you want. But there always has to be action involved. You can’t change something in your 3D reality without actually interacting with 3D reality in some way.  

Kathrin Zenkina says this a lot, most recently in her episode on her exact manifestation process. 

The last step in the process? You need to take inspired action. 

And she did this herself for every one of her big manifestations:

• She had to download a dating app and swipe right and then go on an actual date in order to manifest meeting her now-husband.
• She had to be open to intimacy and take care of her health in order to manifest having a baby.
• She had to start a business and invest energy into it in order to grow into a six-figure earner.

Each of these big “manifestations” required real action. Yet, often, when we talk about hard work and effort, it doesn’t sound as appealing as the elusive, magical idea of “manifestation”. But the truth is, attracting abundance into your life is largely about tuning into your intuition and acting on those nudges to turn your thoughts and dreams into tangible realities.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Now you know 9 science or expert-backed ways to attract abundance and prosperity. As you practice these tips, I invite you to keep your mind on your ultimate goal. What is the life you’re envisioning? Because it’s easy to get sidetracked into thinking that we want wealth for the sake of being wealthy.

But that’s not where happiness comes from. It comes from living your life in alignment with your values and goals — and abundance gives you the resources to create that life. 

So, do you believe that you’re able to attract abundance and prosperity in life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 9 Ways You Can Attract Abundance and Prosperity for a Better Life appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Toddlers and teenagers both experience difficulty managing their emotions, but they struggle for different reasons. Developmentally, toddlers are too young to communicate their wants and needs. They also lack the reasoning skills necessary to cope with negative feelings. Teenagers have a broader vocabulary and a stronger sense of logic, but they must endure the horror of all horrors: puberty. And its accompanying mood swings.

In this article, I will articulate what it means to be emotionally stable, unpack its importance, and share 7 tips to assist you on your road to emotional stability.

What does it mean to be “emotionally stable”?

Being emotionally stable might seem like a self-explanatory term, but it’s actually rather nuanced.

According to the American Psychological Association, emotional stability is defined as “predictability and consistency in emotional reactions, with absence of rapid mood changes.”

Being emotionally stable doesn’t mean you never feel anything – or that you are always content. It just means that when you do find yourself in emotionally challenging situations, you respond in a reasonable, expected way while maintaining a sense of composure.

In other words, you keep it cool. Even if you are deeply affected by something, you don’t allow your emotions to solely dictate your thoughts and behavior; logic has a place in determining them, too.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

The importance of emotional stability

One of the most significant benefits of emotional stability is that it paves the way for a person’s independence. Emotionally stable people tend to have a balanced way of perceiving life’s problems, equipping them with the perspective they need to endure all sorts of hardship. Emotionally erratic people, on the other hand, struggle to maintain equilibrium to such an extent that they have difficulty accomplishing ordinary tasks. They often require assistance in situations where emotionally stable adults would not.

A person’s level of emotional stability plays a huge role in their ability to maintain interpersonal relationships. Emotionally stable people tend to be secure, confident, and even-tempered. Generally, they also exhibit a positive demeanor and get along well with others. These traits are imperative to the health of any relationship – personal or professional.

7 tips to become emotionally stable

Because a person’s emotional stability is subjective, it’s difficult to measure and remediate (if necessary). The approach may look slightly different for everyone, but if you don’t know where to start, consider experimenting with the tips below:

1. Allow yourself to feel 

In order to become emotionally stable, you must first allow yourself to feel. It’s tempting to compartmentalize negative emotions to avoid experiencing pain.

However, studies show that suppressing emotions has a negative impact on overall well-being. Furthermore, problems can never truly be addressed unless you are first willing to acknowledge that something is wrong.

Allowing yourself to feel doesn’t have to be a miserable affair. There are a variety of pleasant activities you can do to check in with yourself, including the ones listed below:

• Ensure your schedule includes alone time.
• Enjoy a solo meal at your favorite restaurant.
• Keep a journal.
• Take a tech-free walk.
• Talk through difficult feelings with someone you trust.
• Visit a quiet, peaceful, (and relatively private) place where you can think. I recommend botanical gardens, a park, a free museum, or a coffee shop.

Carving out time and space for you to access your emotions is a vital first step on the journey to emotional stability.

2. Reflect on your emotions

Giving yourself permission to feel is a good start, but reflecting on your emotions is where change actually begins. Being able to name your emotions and ask questions to uncover their source will provide you with valuable insight. You may discover that you need to take action, have a conversation, or redirect your thought patterns based on what you learn.

Consider these questions after experiencing an uncomfortable emotional response:

• What specific emotion am I feeling right now?
• What might be the underlying reason for this emotion?
• Is a belief or value of mine being challenged?
• Does this situation remind me of something I’ve experienced before?
• What can I do to better cope with this emotion or situation if it arises again in the future?

Expressing curiosity – instead of shame – is a healthy, constructive way to process intense emotions and work toward greater stability in the future.

If you’re not convinced about self-reflection, here’s an article that dives into more benefits of self-reflection!

3. Focus on physical sensations 

It’s impossible to be emotionally stable when your body is physically wound up. For this reason, it’s important to focus on regulating your physical sensations when experiencing emotional turbulence.

A quick, easy way to physically recalibrate yourself is to perform a body scan. Body scanning is a form of mindfulness. Essentially, you focus on different parts of the body one at a time, acknowledge tension or pain as it arises, and breathe through it to release. For further explanation and research regarding the positive effect of body scanning on mental health, check out this article.

When I was a kid, I attended acting camp every summer. Almost two decades later, and I still remember how our director used to guide us through a communal scan before each show. We would lie there on the stage, silent, in complete darkness, and wait for her to draw our attention from one body part to another. This practice seemed so strange to me at the time, but even so, I know the reason why this memory has stuck with me for so long: Body scanning was extremely effective in calming my nerves!

Taking deep breaths is also scientifically proven to stabilize the body. When our bodies experience “fight or flight,” the pH level of our blood increases, and we are flooded with stress hormones. Deep breathing reduces blood pressure and calms the nervous system, allowing us to return to a more emotionally stable place.

4. Set boundaries 

Setting boundaries can significantly increase your emotional stability – especially when you do it across the board. Some people are hesitant to set boundaries because they don’t want to appear harsh; however, instituting limits with yourself and others is actually an act of love. It protects your overall well-being so you can show up as your best self every day.

If you’re feeling emotionally unsteady and can’t pinpoint why, take a look at the many aspects of your life, one at a time, and ask yourself if you need to create or adjust any boundaries. Consider the types listed below:

• Emotional/relational.
• Financial/material.
• Intellectual/spiritual.
• Physical/sexual.
• Time.

Perhaps you feel overwhelmed because you’ve overbooked yourself. Or you feel stressed because you’ve neglected your budget for far too long. Whatever the circumstance, establishing clearer limits for yourself and others will enhance your joy and lessen opportunities for emotional turmoil. 

5. Consult a doctor

Some emotional irregularities are biological – not just situational. In this case, you should consult a doctor. Some people worry about the stigma or side effects of taking medication to stabilize your mood, but depending on your unique circumstances, it may be the best option for you.

It’s worthwhile to keep an open mind; it could dramatically improve your quality of life. Similarly, we’ve written an entire article about how seeking help can improve your happiness.

6. Practice gratitude journaling

Cultivating a habit of gratitude can significantly boost your emotional stability. Start by maintaining a daily gratitude journal. Each day, take a moment to write down three things you are grateful for. These can range from simple pleasures to significant accomplishments.

The act of writing them down shifts your focus from negative or overwhelming emotions to positive aspects of your life, promoting a more balanced emotional state.

Gratitude journaling doesn’t just provide temporary relief; it reprograms your brain to notice and appreciate the positives more readily, leading to long-term emotional resilience. Whenever you’re feeling emotionally turbulent, refer back to your journal. This reflection can serve as a powerful reminder of the good in your life, anchoring you in positivity and providing a broader perspective on your emotional experiences.

7. Engage in creative expression

Creative activities like painting, writing, music, or crafting can be therapeutic tools for emotional stability. Engaging in a creative process allows you to express emotions that might be difficult to articulate verbally.

It’s a form of non-verbal communication with yourself, a way to process and make sense of your feelings.

Start by dedicating a small portion of your day to a creative activity that resonates with you. It’s not about the end product but the process of expressing yourself. This creative outlet can provide a sense of accomplishment and joy, countering negative emotions. Over time, these activities can become a safe haven for you, a place to retreat and recalibrate your emotions whenever you feel overwhelmed.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

No matter where you’re at in life, emotional stability is something you can and should continuously pursue. It may require challenging introspective work, but you owe it to yourself and others to work toward a world where emotion and logic function together in perfect harmony. 

Is there something you do to stabilize your emotions when you’re feeling uneasy? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Jamie Staudinger Author

Former English teacher-turned-writer with a stereotypical zeal for coffee. Most content when I’m on the soccer field or sharing a fancy meal with someone I love.

The post 7 Tips to be More Emotionally Stable (and Manage Your Emotions) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

In today’s modern world, it takes a concerted effort to protect your peace. With your work, your relationships, and the media all fighting for your energy, it’s critical to learn how to control your headspace. Because without a sense of inner peace, the world will quickly fill you with negativity and try to control your emotions for you.

This article will teach you how to protect your peace and give you the tools you need to stop letting stress take the lead in your life.

What exactly is personal peace

We all have some generic definition of peace that comes to mind when you hear the word. You probably picture someone who is calm and smells like essential oils.

And while I’m a total fan of essential oils, personal peace is so much more than an aesthetic. According to research, inner peace is composed of the following four main areas:

• Spirituality.
• Harmony.
• Positivity.
• Lifestyle factors.

These four components work together to help create a sense of balance and well-being in your life. And when any of these areas are a little off, you tend to not be able to experience complete peace.

This definition really resonates with me. When you understand that a higher power and deeper meaning is involved in life, you can find greater peace. 

This deeper understanding combined with the harmony of not being in conflict with others helps you to feel at ease. Then you add in a positive mindset and a lifestyle that fosters mindfulness and it sounds like the perfect recipe for a blissful life.  

It’s those moments when I feel lost in relation to my higher purpose, upset with others, or I’m cultivating a negative mindset that I lose my peace.

If you think about times of peace in your life, I’m sure you can identify how these four factors played a role in fostering that sense of well-being for you.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What happens when you lose your personal peace

So why is it that we care about inner peace to begin with? Well, all it takes is experiencing the opposite of inner peace to understand why it’s critical to strive to protect your inner peace.

Think about the last time you lost that sense of peace in your life. How would you describe it? My answer is I felt stressed out of my mind.

And while stress may sound inconsequential, the research demonstrates that long-lasting stress has the potential to have a widespread impact on your body.

This research shows that sustained stress is often at the root of many common chronic diseases that we face as a society.

Beyond just your physical well-being, chronic variable stress has been shown to reduce your cognitive functioning and put you at a higher risk for developing Alzheimer’s disease.

When I lack inner peace, it’s not uncommon for me to feel sick or run down. It’s as though my engine knows that something is off. Consequently, it forces an unwanted emergency shutdown.

Aiming for inner peace may just sound like something nice to aspire to, but in reality, it may be the key to a healthy brain and body in the long run. And as someone who likes their brain and their body functioning at their highest, I’d say it’s worth taking the time to learn to protect your peace.

9 ways to protect your peace

Let’s dive into some of the essential mental kung-fu skills you need to master to protect your inner peace.

1. Choose what you give your energy to

Throughout the course of a day, you are given an important choice. You get to choose from moment to moment what you will give your energy to.

You may give a good chunk of your energy to your job or maybe you give it to developing a relationship with a loved one. The key here is that you’re in control.

Where this becomes important to remember is when things don’t go quite how you’d like them to. Chaos and mistakes are bound to happen. It’s just a part of life.

But when it comes to protecting your peace, you can choose to indulge your energy in negative daily events and spiral into a ball of stress. Or you can choose to not spend energy stressing over the things which you don’t have control over.

The choice is truly always yours, so choose wisely.

2. Know when to say no

One of the most powerful words you may need to learn to use to protect your peace is the word “no”.

I am a natural people pleaser, so this isn’t something I do gracefully. It continues to take practice.

But in times when I’m stressed or when something feels out of balance, I know I need to stop saying “yes” to everything. This includes taking on that last-minute project at work. This includes that midnight dance party on a Tuesday before you have a big presentation the next day.

Maybe you just have too much on your plate or maybe you need to say no to set a clear boundary with other people.

Whatever the case may be, saying “no” is your way of saying “yes” to your own inner peace.

3. Take a graceful exit

Sometimes, protecting your inner peace means knowing when to exit the scene.

Just a few weeks ago, I got into a heated disagreement with my friend. It became clear after about 30 minutes of dialogue that we were both only getting more worked up.

I could feel what I thought was my blood boiling with each word he said. At that moment, I realized that we were not going to see eye to eye.

And in order to protect my inner well-being, the best decision was to gracefully leave the situation. By exiting, I gave myself the space to calm down and restore my own well-being.

In this case, I was able to re-engage with the conversation at a later date from a position of peace. In some cases, your exit may be permanent.

And it’s totally okay if your exit is permanent. Because at the end of the day, your inner well-being is worth it.

4. Create a morning routine

One of my favorite ways to protect my peace is through my personal morning routine. It’s taken me a few years to get it just right, but my morning routine is a surefire way to foster my inner peace.

Having a morning routine assures that you are starting your day out on your terms and taking intentional efforts to focus on the good in life.

Your morning routine could consist of:

• Exercise.
• Meditation.
• Journaling.
• Writing a gratitude list.
• Stretching.
• Watching the sunrise.

The exact details are less important. Just take the time to craft a morning routine that helps you bulletproof your mind for the inevitable stressors of the day.

5. Get your sleep

No one feels calm and collected after a poor night’s sleep. If you’re anything like me, you transform into the physical form of a monster with absolutely no patience.

Prioritizing your sleep helps to combat stress and gives you a tank that is fueled to adapt to the events of the day.

I know this advice is boring and you hear it again and again. But there’s a reason you hear it everywhere.

Sleep really is one of the magical ingredients needed for optimizing your mental well-being. As someone who only recently started focusing on getting a full 8 hours each night, I can’t even begin to tell you how much it has helped enhance my mindset.

6. Don’t bring work home

Another classic piece of advice, right? Well, there’s a reason the classics are classic.

Bringing work home with you all the time is signaling to your brain that your inner well-being is not a priority to you. Read that again.

No job is so important that you should sacrifice doing the things that refill your cup. Sure there are times when you have to make sacrifices and work a little extra.

But allowing work to always come home with you becomes a habitual practice that sets you up for a life that is full of anything but peace.

I used to always bring home my documentation from the clinic to work on it. By doing so, I ended up carrying something that lingered at the back of my mind when I was walking my dog. It’s like I couldn’t let go of work because I had something unfinished in my proximity.

Leave work at work. Home needs to be your safe space where you shouldn’t let anything disturb your calm.

7. Get off your phone

I saved the zinger for last! One of the main sources of lack of contentment and peace is that bright screen you carry in your pocket.

It is so easy to get caught up on your phone for hours on end only to feel unrested and disconnected from your life.

About three months ago, I made a decision to delete my social media. This in part stemmed from feeling a strange sense of anxiety and discontent after wasting hours scrolling through it.

I am being quite literal when I cannot begin to tell you how much this simple switch has helped me feel alive again. I actually pay attention to movies when I’m watching them and I feel less scatterbrained throughout my day.

The device and the apps on it are designed to be addicting and drain your personal power. While I’m not saying you have to go off the deep end and delete social media altogether, be mindful of how much time you spend on your phone.

You may just find that your life outside the confines of the screen is full of more peace than anything that a phone has to offer you.

8. Practice mindfulness daily

Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can be a game-changer for protecting your peace. Mindfulness is all about living in the present moment and acknowledging your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

It’s like giving your mind a mini-vacation from the constant buzz of daily life. Start by setting aside a few minutes each day for mindfulness exercises. This could be as simple as focusing on your breath, engaging in a short meditation session, or practicing mindful eating. The key is to be fully present in the moment, letting go of past regrets and future worries.

But how do you make mindfulness a habit? Try linking it to an existing routine. For instance, practice a minute of mindful breathing every morning after brushing your teeth. Or, take a mindful walk, where you focus on the sensations of your steps and the environment around you.

Remember, mindfulness isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. Over time, you’ll find that these moments of mindfulness can significantly reduce stress and enhance your overall sense of peace.

9. Connect with nature

Never underestimate the power of nature in restoring peace and balance in your life. Nature has a unique way of putting our human experiences into perspective, reminding us of the beauty and rhythm of the natural world.

Make it a point to spend time outdoors regularly, whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the woods, or simply sitting in your garden. The fresh air, the sound of birds, the rustle of leaves – all these elements work together to calm the mind and soothe the soul.

To integrate nature into your life, start small. It could be as simple as having your morning coffee outside or taking your lunch break in a nearby park. If you’re feeling adventurous, plan weekend hikes or nature walks. You can also bring nature to you by creating a small garden or keeping houseplants.

These small, consistent interactions with nature can significantly contribute to maintaining a peaceful state of mind, helping you stay grounded and connected to the world around you.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Protecting your peace is not for the faint of heart. While it may not require Jackie Chan-level fighting skills, it does require a mental toughness that takes intentional practice. With the tips from this article, you can prioritize your inner peace and discover a life free of the stress that burdens much of our society.

What’s your favorite tip? How do you manage to protect the peace in your life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 9 Practical Tips to Always Protect Your Peace (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Overindulgence of any sort is contrary to self-care. Too much alcohol, food, work, gambling, and exercise – to name but a few – compromise our self-care. But when we find a balance in life, we maximize our self-care and optimize our health and well-being. 

Let’s look at self-care, its benefits, and some cost-effective ways to practice self-care. 

What do we mean by self-care? 

It wasn’t until the 1970s that scientists started talking about self-care. At this time, it was recognized that people who actively care for themselves benefit from greater health. Being able to influence our health became a talking point, giving rise to academic and political interests. 

In a nutshell, self-care is the term given to represent the positive care we give ourselves through both long-term and short-term lifestyle choices. 

Many people automatically assume self-care is all about massages, purchases, and holidays. But the reality is that self-care is more basic than that. The most basic self-care is ensuring we get adequate sleep, eat a healthy diet, limit alcohol intake, and exercise regularly. 

Self-care is all about promoting wellness and minimizing anything that may have a detrimental effect on us. 

Why is self-care important

Effective self-care is essential for our health and well-being. It can keep us out of the hospital and stop our health deteriorating. In this study, which looks at the role of self-care in patients with heart failure, they found those patients who engaged with self-care were less likely to be rehospitalized. 

It will likely come as no surprise, but self-care is linked with an increase in our positive psychology, including: 

• Self-esteem.
• Mental health.
• Self-worth.
• Optimism.

The difficult thing is that often, those who would benefit the most from practicing self-care habits are those least likely to do so. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 ways to practice self-care on a budget

As we’ve confirmed, self-care doesn’t need to be all holidays, massages, and expensive weekends away. Quite the contrary, the most effective self-care practices are cheap or even free. 

Let’s look at some of the best cost-effective self-care practices available. 

1. Free self-care

In all honesty, I haven’t always taken very good care of myself. I drank too much alcohol, didn’t get enough sleep, and worked too many hours. Add to that my inability to say “no” to people, and it is no wonder I was fried. 

Now, I have a list of free self-care practices I engage in weekly, which helps me feel relaxed and stave off poor mental health. 

• Gentle nature walks with my dog. 
• Regular early bedtimes. 
• Limited alcohol consumption. 
• Limited caffeine intake.  
• Read a book instead of scrolling through social media. 

If you integrate these into your life, I promise you will start to feel a difference within a few weeks. 

2. Embrace loving-kindness meditation  

They say if you only have time for 10 minutes of meditation a day, then you need to do an hour. 

I am prone to overthinking, and my brain loves nothing more than taking me on joy rides. I know the merits of meditation, I suspect you do too, but I am awful at giving myself time for meditation. 

But, it’s all part of a healthy self-care practice. So, I now make a habit of finding a 10-minute guided loving-kindness meditation online and forcing myself to show myself kindness through self-care meditation. 

Try this one for yourself, and I promise it will quieten the mind. Can you make it a daily practice? 

3. Be choosey about who you give your energy to

We can do all the recommended self-care routines available, but if we continue to give our energy to unhealthy relationships we will feel forever drained. 

Relationships are challenging. I appreciate there may be people in your life who you can’t walk away from, but this is where boundaries come into play. 

Protect your energy. Spend less time with people who drain you. You know the ones, the people who are energy vampires and leave you feeling exhausted and shriveled after spending time with them. 

A positive side effect of this is that it frees up more time to dedicate to the relationships that nourish you and add to your self-care. 

4. Give yourself time to relax 

Too many of us associate relaxation with laziness. But our mind and body need time to switch off in order if we expect it to work at optimum at other times. 

Let me put it another way. If you don’t give yourself time to relax, you will burn out, get run down, and compromise your immune system. 

Relaxing means different things to each of us. For me, it’s all about reading a book, taking a gentle run, and doing some gentle yoga. Oh, and switching off from devices. What does relaxation look like to you? 

5. Your health is your wealth  

Instead of striving for certain aesthetics, strive for health. When we attain a healthy body, the mind follows. Similarly, when one achieves a healthy mind, the body follows. Ultimately, there is a profound link between the mind and the body. 

These days, we recognize that our health is so much more than just physical. Given our mind dictates everything we do, it stands to reason that our mental health is perhaps even more important than our physical health. 

Look after your mental health. This means speaking with therapists or seeing your doctor if you are concerned about your mental health. 

Think of your mind as the steering wheel of your body. Healthy mental functioning is imperative to a happy and fulfilling life and is the first port of call for self-care. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up 

Self-care doesn’t need to cost a small fortune. The best self-care practices are free. Keep our top five tips in mind, and look after yourself: 

• Free self-care.
• Embrace loving-kindness meditation.
• Be choosy about who you give your energy to.
• Give yourself time to relax.
• Your health is your wealth.

What self-care practices do you recommend? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Cost-Effective Tips on How to Practice Self Care on a Budget appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

When we constantly expect too much from ourselves, we will eventually crash. Human beings aren’t meant to function at 100 percent all the time. We need downtime and space to grow. Our high expectations for ourselves are often developed in childhood and interlinked with our feelings of self-worth. 

This article will explore what it means to expect too much from ourselves and how we can stop this. 

What does it mean to expect too much from yourself? 

There are many symptoms of expecting too much from ourselves. Here are just a few of them:

• Being overly self-critical. 
• Perfectionist behavior.
• Taking on too much.
• Striving for constant achievement.
• Reacting badly to mistakes.

Those who have excessively high expectations of themselves set unrealistic and unattainable goals. We are often already achieving great things, but in our minds, we are not good enough, and we must do more and improve. 

It will come as no surprise that high expectations from parents when we are young can cause us to have high expectations from ourselves as adults. The American Psychological Association highlights a link between parental expectations and perfectionism in college students. 

The damage of expecting too much from yourself

Ultimately, having high expectations of ourselves damages our self-esteem and negatively impacts our well-being. 

It stands to reason that if we have high expectations, we will rarely be happy with ourselves. Instead, when others praise us for something, we will only see the flaws. 

My husband is prone to perfectionism. He makes spectacular furniture. Everyone who sees his work gasps in awe. But he doesn’t see what we see. He points out all the faults. 

My husband’s perfectionism grinds him to a stop. Interestingly, this article in the Harvard Business Review talks about perfectionism being the enemy of productivity. 

I don’t suffer from perfectionism, but I do place enormous pressure on myself to take on too much. I was brought up to believe productivity was indicative of my worth. I expect to be able to live the life of two people. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 ways to stop expecting too much from yourself

Wouldn’t it be nice to feel happy and content instead of always striving to do more or do better?

Here are our five tips to help you stop expecting too much from yourself. 

1. Set realistic goals  

We all know the acronym SMART when it comes to goals. If you haven’t heard it, it stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound.   

For those who expect too much from themselves, the area they benefit from working on the most is recognizing what is realistic. 

I used to fit far too much into my day than was healthy. I believed I could sleep when I was dead. I set unrealistic goals that I rarely achieved. And if I did achieve them, this achievement came at a cost – namely, my mental health. My relentless work ethic to achieve unrealistic goals placed even more pressure to maintain this level of productivity. 

Keep your goals realistic, and don’t feel you have to over-deliver on promises and be anything short of spectacular. You don’t always have to be the brightest star in the sky to sparkle. 

2. Give yourself time to rest  

This follows on nicely from tip number one. Without giving your mind and body time to reset and the space to rest and recover, you will run rugged and increase your risk of sickness or burnout.

In my previous life, I worked at least 70-hour weeks, along with many other commitments. I tackled this with gusto. I embraced such a busy life. But it wasn’t sustainable. 

While I may not achieve the same productivity as in previous years, I am healthier, happier, and more secure in my ability to last the distance. I’ve replaced the need to be perpetually busy with the recognition that I taking time to read a book, meditate or walk will benefit me more in the long run. 

3. Reflect on your past   

If you place enormous pressure on yourself, take the time to reflect and ask where this pressure is coming from. 

As a child, was your worth based on your achievements? 

Children who are raised to believe their worth is interlinked with achievement will be likely to have high expectations on themselves as adults. 

We all know a few people who use social media as a bragging tool for their children’s accomplishments. Yes, it’s great to celebrate their successes but when the only posts are about achievement, the message children are given is that they are only worthy when they win. 

Were you made to feel that you are only worthy when you achieve something? Can you untangle from this? 

4. Be aware of your expectations of others 

Carrying on nicely from the third tip, pay attention to your expectations of others. Often, those who have high expectations of themselves also have high expectations of others and can be quick to judge or point out failures. 

Go easy on other people. No one is superhuman; we all make mistakes, and sometimes things don’t go according to plan. When you offer this generosity and humanity to others, you are more likely to offer the same dispensation to yourself. 

You can still have high standards while lowering your expectations of others. Ironically, this reduction in pressure may help maintain high standards. 

5. Be gentle if things don’t go according to plan  

How do you handle failure or mistakes? We can be unforgiving and over-critical when we expect too much from ourselves. Can you learn to be gentle with yourself and accept that when things don’t go according to plan, it doesn’t make you any less of a person, nor does it reduce your worth? 

In our article “How to handle failure,” we talk about how failing does not make us a failure. The most successful people are also those who have failed the most. Every failure is a stepping stone to success. So remember, failures are little lessons to help us correct our course, learn to accept them with dignity, and know they don’t define you. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

We already live in a high-pressure world without adding to that pressure by having excessively high expectations of ourselves. 

Yes, having goals and ambitions is great, but you also have to live. 

Remember our top five tips for how to stop expecting too much from yourself. 

• Set realistic goals. 
• Give yourself time to rest. 
• Reflect on your past.
• Be aware of your expectations of others. 
• Be gentle if things don’t go according to plan.

How do you stop expecting too much from yourself? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Ways to Stop Expecting Too Much From Yourself appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

The 80s celebrated the heroin chic look. Supermodels were unhealthily skinny. The message this put out into society was dangerous and damaging. Luckily, we now live in an era of greater acceptance of all body types. But it is still difficult to move away from the beauty standards depicted in the media. It’s time to show your body gratitude for everything it is, instead of punishing it for everything you perceive it isn’t. 

This article is for everyone who has ever wished they could change something about their body. Read on to learn 7 easy ways to become more body positive. 

What is body image? 

It is estimated that 8 million Americans suffer from some type of eating disorder, many of whom never receive an official diagnosis.

Our relationship with our bodies is complex. 

Our body is the vessel in which we move around. It is the visual image people see. We can not help but be represented by our body image. And unfortunately, we can not influence how others react to our bodies. 

Our body image is based on how we feel about our own reflection and also how we believe other people see us. 

According to this article, someone with a positive body image is comfortable with how they look and how they feel. They may not be perfect, but they accept who they are. Perhaps most importantly, they recognize who they are on the inside is more important than who they are on the outside. 

On the flip side, the same article describes someone with a negative body image as having a deep unhappiness within themselves. This is someone who doesn’t like their body or a particular aspect of it. Maybe they want to:

• Lose weight.
• Gain muscle.
• Change their boob size.
• Change their hair.
• Have whiter teeth.

The possible changes we may want to make to our bodies can seem endless. And for what? For society? Do you think these changes will guarantee happiness? Sometimes all we need is to seek acceptance within ourselves, which will lead to happiness. 

When we suffer from a negative body image, it can become consuming and distracting.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Why it’s important to accept your body 

We come in all shapes and sizes, colors, and creeds. Variety is the spice of life.

But what happens when we are born into a body that we don’t like? 

Puberty years can be the toughest. Not only are our hormones adding confusion to our minds. But our body changes and develops in ways that can make us feel self-conscious. We are suddenly hyper-vigilant about what we look like and also notice what our peers look like. 

My mum was an overweight child and received negative comments about this from friends and family. She lost a lot of weight in her 20s. She is now a lean elderly lady. But she still thinks of herself as fat. The comments she received as a child were so pervasive that they have stayed with her throughout her life. 

We have a choice. We can get caught up in unhappiness and disdain for the way we look. Or we can embrace who we are and ignore the external comments. When we learn to accept who we are, we realize who and what is important in our lives. Perhaps most importantly we embrace life and start to really enjoy living!

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

Oscar Wilde

Let’s practice what we preach. It’s time to remove all judgment of the physical appearance of others from our dialogue. 

7 ways to be more body positive

It’s time to change your relationship with your body.

For years I was criticized for being too skinny and having small boobs. I was never enough for others. But I have learned to be enough for myself. I have learned to love my body. I may not be altogether content with my figure but I am learning to love it.

Moreover, I am grateful to my body for carrying me around the world on many adventures. My body is my partner in crime. 

Here are 7 tips to be more body positive. Please note, if your body negativity is pervasive and impacts your daily life, you may benefit from seeing a therapist or visiting your doctor.

Remember, you deserve to be happy and love your body!

1. Focus on what your body can do 

I’m a huge advocate for appreciating what your body can do. How often do you take our body for granted?

It is only in the last few years that I have stopped punishing my body for not looking exactly how I want it to look. My thighs may be bigger than I’d like, but they carry me with ease in ultra marathons. My boobs may be smaller than society would like, but they don’t get in the way of my active lifestyle. 

What does your body let you do? 

When we stop focusing on what our body looks like and recognize everything it does for us, we gain a newfound respect. 

2. Get body perspective

You know that old cliche, you never know what you have until it’s gone? Its truth is profound. Following a mountain biking accident, my friend is now paralyzed and wheelchair-bound. Do you think she cares about excess fat or having wonky toes now? No, she laments for all that her body used to be able to do, not for what it looked like. 

Does your body make you a good person? If you lost weight or gained muscle, would you be a kinder person? Would you be a better person? I think we all know the answers to these questions. 

If you want to bring about change, change from the inside. 

3. Stop comparing yourself to others 

I’ve always wanted perfect abs. You know, the washboard stomach with defined muscles. But alas, no 6 pack for me. My friend on the other hand, oh she has phenomenal abs. I used to feel like a failure in her presence. I used to feel inadequate.

The funny thing is, my friend is envious of my hair and my legs. Are any of us ever 100 percent happy with how we look? 

Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Baz Luhrmann

Comparison is the thief of joy. Most of the time we compare ourselves with social media images of people who have likely:

• Set up the perfect photo shoot.
• Had plastic surgery.
• Filtered the image to the max. 
• Have professional help with their diet. 
• Have a personal trainer. 

It’s time to unfollow! Unfollow the social media accounts that induce envy. Unfollow the accounts that are too perfect to be realistic. Then get following the accounts that make you feel good about yourself. 

Want more tips on how to positively use social media? We got you covered with this article.

4. Aim for healthy  

Okay, this one is super important.

Do not deprive yourself, but do not gorge yourself. Enjoy your food. But do not allow your food to be an emotional crutch. This is an extremely difficult one. Do you turn to chocolate when you are stressed? Or do you lose your appetite entirely?

Be aware of your eating habits. Healthline describes emotional eating as using food to seek comfort. This can then become a vicious cycle. We may feel unhappy with our weight but use food to comfort our negative emotions. 

If you find yourself reaching for food as a comfort, try and distract yourself. 

• Phone a friend.
• Go for a walk. 
• Have a drink of water. 
• Listen to music. 
• Change your environment. 

It’s your body and your choice. You have the power to decide what you put into your body and what you pass up. But this can take a huge amount of practice and willpower. 

5. Embrace yourself  

Focus on you and all the wonderful attributes you have. In fact, take a minute to write a list of all the things you like about your body. Ready, steady, go!

Did you do it? My list reads as follows: 

• I like my smile.
• I like my long legs. 
• I like my butt. 
• I like my long, lean arms. 
• I like my cheekbones. 
• I like my shoulders. 
• I like the grove of my back. 
• I like my decolletage.
• I like my long fingers. 

When we show our body love and recognize all the positive things about our reflection we can learn acceptance. This study found that self-compassion is a critical step toward positive body image. 

I have naturally curly hair. I was bullied in school for having “frizzy” hair. These cruel comments led me to embrace straighteners as soon as they came on the market. For years I tied my hair up or made it poker straight. After all, straight hair is beautiful, right?

In the last year, I have embraced my waves and curls. I no longer try to be someone I’m not. I am a girl with waves and curls and I am beautiful! 

So, show up as you are. Learn to treat your body with love and respect. Here are some ways you can do this. 

• Take a bubble bath. 
• Treat yourself to a massage.
• Practice yoga. 
• Put on a lovely skin cream. 
• Lie on a Shakti mat. 

And above all, be grateful to your body for everything it allows you to do.

6. Celebrate small wins

In our journey towards body positivity, it’s easy to become fixated on the “ideal” or end goal.

However, it’s the small, daily victories that truly make a difference. Whether you chose a nourishing meal, wore an outfit that made you feel fabulous, or simply looked in the mirror and smiled at your reflection, these moments matter.

Celebrating these wins not only boosts your confidence but also reinforces positive behaviors.

Keep a “Body Positivity Journal.” At the end of each day, jot down at least one small win related to your body. Over time, you’ll have a collection of positive moments to reflect upon, especially on tougher days.

7. Practice mindfulness and meditation

Mindfulness and meditation aren’t just buzzwords; they’re powerful tools that can help you foster a deeper connection with your body.

By practicing mindfulness, you become present in the moment, allowing you to recognize and challenge any negative beliefs or thoughts about your body without judgment. This heightened awareness can be a game-changer in shifting your perspective from criticism to appreciation.

Dedicate 10 minutes each day to a simple mindfulness exercise. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. If your mind wanders to thoughts about your body, acknowledge them without judgment and gently bring your focus back to your breath.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

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Wrapping up 

When we shift our focus away from our body’s flaws and recognize what our body is capable of, we feel empowered. A little self-compassion goes a long way in increasing our body positivity. Remember, no more comparing yourself with others. Learn to show up as you are and be grateful for all that you are. It’s time to love your body exactly as it is.

Do you struggle with body positivity? Do you have another tip that you want to share that has helped you think more positively about your body? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 7 Tips to be More Body Positive (and Why It’s so Important) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Emotional and mental wounds are perplexing. All too often, we brush them off. But they are insidious and deep-rooted and have often influenced the neural patterns of our brain development. Yes, our emotional and mental wounds limit us as much as our physical ones. 

I want to help you heal yourself mentally and emotionally. In this article, we will explore what this means and how you can do this effectively. 

What does it mean to heal mentally and emotionally? 

Think about it: if you break a leg, you will likely seek expert medical help. You may undergo surgery, wear a plaster cast, and endure extensive rehabilitation to ensure full use and movement of your leg again. Failure to take these steps may have your leg heal in a deformed position, hindering your movement and resulting in ongoing discomfort and pain. 

Mental and emotional wounds, akin to physical injuries, leave subtle yet profound imprints on our behavior and feelings. While they might recede from immediate consciousness, their lingering effects shape our reactions and decisions.

Healing from these wounds is a journey that starts with acknowledging the pain, allowing emotions to flow, accepting the past without letting it define us, integrating the experience for personal growth, and continuously processing our emotions, potentially through therapeutic means, to ensure positive forward movement.

I’ll be honest, it’s not a simple process, I have been on my healing journey for a few years now. It requires us to embrace self-compassion and mindfulness. To do this, we must learn to be kind to ourselves. 

Why it’s important to start healing 

Speaking from a personal account, my healing journey has liberated me. Although I recognize I still have a long way to go. 

Whatever you need help healing from, maybe it’s trauma from your childhood or a particularly difficult divorce. Either way, the enduring stress of mental and emotional wounds hurts your body. 

When you embrace your healing journey, you benefit mentally and physically. 

This article in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine lists several positive physical changes that come with emotional healing: 

• Improved cardiovascular health. 
• Increased longevity. 
• Reduction in stress hormones
• Reduced resting heart rate. 
• Boosted immune system. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 ways to heal mentally and emotionally  

If you read our articles regularly, you will know that yoga and mindfulness are important in engaging the parasympathetic nervous system and down-regulating the body. Let’s look at other ways, alongside yoga and mindfulness, that help us heal mentally and emotionally. 

Here are five ways to help you heal. 

1. Tune in to your mind and body 

Did you know that being perpetually busy is a trauma response? I understand this; it’s something I used to do myself. Truthfully, I was afraid to slow down because the void was filled with unpleasant feelings and thoughts. 

Stop running. Turn around and face the demons head-on. 

This requires us to tune in to our mind and body. Listen when your body whispers so it doesn’t have to roar. 

I struggle to hear my mind and body whispering at me. I press on and ignore it. I’m getting better at listening and following my energy flow. I now recognize if my body needs movement, food, or rest. But this has taken years, and I still get it wrong regularly. 

Instead of focusing on all the distractions externally, take the time to direct this focus internally. How is your body feeling? Is your mind calm or agitated? What do you need to find equilibrium?

2. Love people from afar

A big part of my healing journey was learning who wanted the best for me and who was using or manipulating me. 

Dr. Nicole Lepera, psychologist and revered author of several books, including How to Meet Yourself, talks about the healing journey of being a lonely one. I understand this. As I weeded my friendship flowerbed and stopped sabotaging myself to appease others, I found myself with a sparse number of people in my corner. 

Like a dolphin trapped in fishing nets, I’ve endured a sense of captivity for a long time. My healing process has helped cut these nets, and I’m swimming away from those who wound me. 

With family members, it can be tricky. A staggering eight percent of people in the UK are estranged from a family member. I am part of this statistic. 

Sometimes, we have to love people from afar to love ourselves. 

3. Educate yourself 

I’m not necessarily one for labels, but learning what boxes we fit into can help us learn how to help ourselves and, more importantly, practice self-compassion. 

Only in the last few years have I learned about narcissistic personality disorder. I’ve read numerous studies and books on the topic with a particular interest in the impact of being a scapegoat child to a narcissistic father. 

By understanding my background, I feel valid and understood. Being able to put a name and explanation to things I experienced has been instrumental to my healing. I now understand situations from years ago that remained confusing and sticky in my emotions. 

The education never stops. Read, learn, and watch how things start to slot into place and you untangle a mental ball of yarn. 

4. Work with a therapist 

I started my healing journey by educating myself. But I couldn’t quite break through the wall. Intellectually, I understood my many blockages, but emotionally, I struggled. 

That’s when I sought the help of a therapist. 

I’ve been seeing a therapist for a few years now. It’s not a simple or easy process. But it’s helped me befriend my inner child and understand the world around me. I’ve learned to recognize why I think or behave the way I do and redirect my path. 

Recently, we’ve been doing EMDR, a technique that helps us process and reframe traumatic memories. Wouldn’t it be amazing to get to a place where the memories that cause us the most discomfort can come and go without affecting our well-being? That’s my goal. 

Working with a therapist has turned my healing journey into a three-dimensional experience. 

5. Have fun 

Adults forget to have fun. We become so bogged down in the stresses of life that our frivolity and joviality is sucked out of us. 

Sometimes, I see older politicians on TV, and I can’t imagine them ever being children and playing or laughing. Their bodies are rigid, and their faces so stern. 

Specifically, laughter helps reduce our sensation of pain and alleviates symptoms of depression while also boosting the immune system. 

So, find reasons to laugh. Learn to laugh at yourself. Laugh at life’s quirks. Watch a comedy movie or go out and watch live comedy. Be silly and play practical jokes on friends and loved ones. Have some damn fun! 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up 

We all have our inner wounds. It’s up to you whether you allow these inner wounds from the past to darken your present and jeopardize your future. If you haven’t already embraced a healing journey, I urge you to do so for your well-being and happiness. 

Remember our top five tips to help you heal mentally and emotionally. 

• Tune in to your mind and body. 
• Love people from afar. 
• Educate yourself. 
• Work with a therapist. 
• Have fun. 

What has helped you on your healing journey? I’d love to hear the tips that have helped you most in healing emotionally and mentally! 

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Ways How You Can Heal Yourself Mentally and Emotionally appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Self-doubt and insecurity are often stopping you from listening to yourself and believing in your own judgment. But there’s a clear reason why this sort of thinking is harmful to your potential success. In the end, you only have one life and it’d be a shame if you lived it according to someone else’s rules.

In this article, I’ll go over 11 tips that I’ve found most helpful when learning how to listen to yourself more. By using some of these tips, I’m sure you’ll find more self-awareness and confidence to trust your own judgment. That way, you can start steering your life in a happier direction!

Why you can’t listen to yourself

When faced with a tough decision, how often do you step back and truly listen to your own feelings? Do you make decisions based on your surroundings, circumstances, or peer pressure?

If the answer to this question is yes, then you might need to listen to yourself more.

There are many reasons that can cause you to stop listening to yourself:

• A lack of confidence.
• Sheer ignorance (meaning that you don’t even know that you have a say in something).
• A lack of self-respect.
• The need to please others more than the need to please yourself.
• Peer pressure (going with the flow is in our nature).

Studies on why we can’t listen to ourselves

It’s no surprise that humans have trouble listening to themselves. In order to be better at survival, we humans have developed a number of cognitive biases that influence our way of thinking.

There are three cognitive biases that can explain why it’s so hard to listen to yourself sometimes:

• Conformity bias.
• Compliance bias.
• Groupthink.

Studies have shown the impact of these cognitive biases, and the results are clear. These biases keep us from listening to ourselves, even when it’s obvious that our own judgment is sound.

In a famous example, researchers showed a room of 7 people a picture of 3 lines. The picture clearly showed one line being the longest. The researchers asked the group – one by one – which line was the longest.

However, 6 of the 7 people in the room were part of the experiment and instructed to provide false answers. The experiment showed that people are prone to being compliant with a larger group of people, even though their feelings are not aligned.

In fact, the researchers found that people are more likely to assume that the larger group knows something that they do not.

We’d rather be false and compliant than risk being the odd one out.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

11 ways to learn to listen to yourself more

More often than not, it’s important to learn to listen to yourself. We only live once, and it’d be a shame if we lived our lives according to the opinion of someone else.

Therefore, I’ve compiled the 11 best tips that will help you learn to listen to yourself more. So whenever you find yourself in a situation where you’re doubting yourself, use these tips to listen to yourself.

1. Step out of your negative self-thoughts

It’s really hard to listen to yourself when your mind is clouded with negative thoughts.

For example, a lot of people struggle with something known as imposter syndrome. Whenever you notice that you’re doubting your own opinion, it’s important to become aware of your negative thoughts. Once you become aware of the negativity, you need to separate yourself from it.

Remind yourself that you are not your thoughts. In fact, your thoughts are designed to doubt yourself from time to time. Learn to step away from these negative thoughts and focus only on the facts.

Whenever I notice this myself, I try to get all these negative thoughts out of my head by writing them down. I find that when I’ve moved past my thoughts, I realize that my situation is not as bad as I have it in my head. There is always room for positivity, hope, and self-appreciation.

2. Understand your strengths

Take a moment to think about your values.

• What are you good at?
• What are your strengths?

You can probably name some things that you are good at and others appreciate about you.

The next step is to be rational about your strengths and let them guide you to make a good decision. Listen to yourself and acknowledge that you have a unique point of view that others don’t have.

If you realize your strengths and embrace the fact that you are in a strong position to make the best decision, you’ll find it easier to listen to yourself.

If you’re not sure where to start, use this or this worksheet from Therapist Aid as a guide. Chances are that you’ll discover something about yourself and become a little more self-aware.

3. Be kind to yourself

You probably know this, but there are pessimists and optimists.

No matter whether you’re a glass-is-half-full type of person or not, it’s important to be positive about yourself. If you’re always your own worst critic, then it’s hard not to question yourself. And if you lack confidence, then it’s easy to favor someone else’s opinion over your own.

To prevent this from happiness, you need to be positive about yourself. One way to inspire better self-talk is to talk to yourself as though you were your own child or a loved one.

Imagine how you would react if your best friend told you that she doesn’t find herself good enough. What would you say? Surely, you would disagree and say that your friend is more than good enough!

If they told me they thought they were hideous I’d tell them to shut up and say that they’re stunningly beautiful, and to never ever think differently. If they told me they were untalented or unworthy of something, I’d tell them that they were very talented and clever and that they deserved the world.

This is the sort of support, encouragement, and love that you should show yourself. Nobody’s stopping you from talking positively about yourself, so why should you?

Here is something you need to know: you are good enough. Your opinion is worth listening to.

4. Practice meditation or mindfulness

Mindfulness is all about non-judgemental awareness. So it’s easy to see how mindfulness can help you be less judgmental about your own self-worth.

Practicing mindfulness can help you learn how to observe your thoughts and feelings in a calm, honest, and accepting manner, which creates a strong base for self-awareness and confidence.

We’ve written about mindfulness before and you can find a quick guide to get started here. The short version of this article is that mindfulness is easy to practice.

By embracing a life of mindfulness, people have changed from constantly doubting themselves to being confident and in charge of every decision they make.

5. Trust in your ability to make the right decision

If you find it hard to listen to yourself, it’s likely that you’ve experienced some kind of failure in the past.

• Maybe you’ve tried to launch a business but just couldn’t get the ball rolling.
• Or you made a big mistake at work and messed up in front of your colleagues and superiors.
• Or perhaps you got drunk once and made yourself look like a fool in front of your friends.

These are all things that can hurt your confidence and your ability to trust your own judgment. But these failures shouldn’t keep us from trusting our ability to make the right decision.

And when you do decide to follow your intuition, it may happen that you don’t directly see the results you hoped for. Perhaps, you’re trying to launch a new business but struggle to find a footing again! This can cause you to stop listening to yourself and act on impulsive feelings instead.

“Screw it, I knew I shouldn’t have listened to myself”, might sound like a natural reaction at this point.

No matter what you decide in the end, it’s important to know that failure is part of success. Failure is not the opposite of success. Instead, failing is a sign that you’re growing and one step closer to future success.

So trust in your ability to make the right decision, listen to yourself and accept that failure is part of the game.

6. Accept yourself

Confidence often starts with self-acceptance. While there will always be things you’d like to improve about yourself, accepting yourself means that you realize your intrinsic value. 

Accepting yourself means recognizing that you’re human with all your quirks and flaws. Nobody’s perfect. If you don’t accept yourself and think that somebody else is more capable of deciding what you do with your life, you need to realize that you’re just as perfect as someone else.

Everyone has different good (and bad!) attributes. It’s easy to compare your own work with the work of your co-workers. But if your conclusion from this comparison is that you’re not good enough as a person, then that’s wrong.

When you find yourself trying to make another unfair comparison, I want you to remember the previous list of strengths or think back to yourself a year ago. Have you grown since then? Yes? Now that’s a good comparison. When you’re comparing yourself to your past self, then you’re actually comparing apples to apples.

7. Keep a journal

Writing down your honest thoughts and ideas is a great way to listen to yourself. Journaling helps you open yourself up for exploration and awareness. The keyword is “honest” and that’s why journaling is one of the best ways to start listening to yourself more – you can be completely honest in your private journal.

There’s a reason why a lot of famously successful people are journalers. Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, Mark Twain, Barack Obama, Charles Darwin, and Frida Kahlo: these are all successful people who have benefited from the clearance that journaling provides.

Journaling helps you become more self-aware, which in turn helps you understand yourself better. This makes it easier for you to listen to yourself more. We’ve written a comprehensive guide to journaling for self-awareness here.

8. Focus on yourself and not others

While it’s good to spend your time and energy helping someone else, you have to consider your own happiness as well.

Some people find it hard to listen to themselves because they feel the need to please others. We’ve written an entire article on how to stop from excessively trying to please others, and focus on yourself more. The tips included in this article are:

• Take a look inside yourself.
• Learn to say no.
• Take your time.
• Stop explaining yourself.
• Prioritize yourself.
• Learn to resolve conflicts instead of avoiding them.
• Embrace the discomfort.

I’ve found that learning to say “no” is one of the most efficient ways to prioritize yourself more.

Learning to say no doesn’t mean that you have to decline every offer. If you’re used to saying yes, then it’s better to start small and say no to little things with no consequences. It’s also easier to start by saying no to people with whom you have a close and comfortable relationship or complete strangers. It’s the people in the middle of the spectrum – neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances – that are tricky.

Consider doing the following:

• Start by declining the invite to the party you really don’t want to go to.
• Decline the Facebook event invites from friends, instead of letting them sit unanswered in your notifications forever.
• Say no when the barista offers you an extra pump of Amaretto syrup in your frappuccino.

If you learn to say no to these relatively small things, then you can slowly move on to bigger things, like declining extra tasks from your boss.

This is how you can slowly focus on yourself more and learn to listen to what your inner self is saying.

9. Work with a therapist

Therapy can help you recognize all the unhelpful things that you’re unconsciously doing. I’ve covered some of these things already in this post:

• Conformity bias.
• Compliance bias.
• Insecurity.
• Self-doubt.
• Imposter syndrome.

It would be wrong to say that therapy is for everyone, but you definitely don’t have to have a diagnosis to give it a go. 

The goal of therapy is to help you live a more fulfilled, functional, and happier life by helping you deal with your thoughts, emotions, and the daily stresses of life.

If you’ve been wondering about therapy, but you’re afraid to try it, we’ve written an entire article about the benefits of therapy here.

10. Embark on a digital detox retreat

In our modern age, the constant buzz of notifications, emails, and social media can often drown out our inner voice. By taking a break from the digital world, even if just for a weekend, you can create a space to truly reconnect with yourself.

A digital detox retreat doesn’t necessarily mean traveling to a remote location (though that’s a great option!). It can be as simple as dedicating a weekend at home without screens, allowing yourself to be present in the moment and tune into your feelings and thoughts.

Plan a 48-hour period where you commit to turning off all electronic devices. Inform your friends and family ahead of time so they’re aware. Prepare some offline activities you love, such as reading a book, journaling, or taking nature walks. After the detox, reflect on how the experience made you feel and any insights you gained about yourself.

11. Engage in artistic expression without judgment

Tapping into your creative side can be a powerful way to connect with your innermost feelings and thoughts. Whether it’s painting, dancing, writing, or any other form of artistic expression, these activities allow you to convey emotions that might be hard to articulate in words.

The key is to approach these activities without any preconceived notions or judgments. Let it be a pure, unfiltered expression of your inner self. You might be surprised at the insights and emotions that surface when you let your creativity flow freely.

Choose an artistic activity that you resonate with, even if you believe you’re not particularly skilled at it. Dedicate a set time each week to immerse yourself in this activity, free from any expectations or judgments. After each session, take a moment to reflect on the experience, noting any feelings or realizations that emerged. Over time, you’ll find this practice to be a valuable tool for self-discovery and introspection.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Self-doubt and insecurity are often stopping you from listening to yourself and believing in your own judgment. But in the end, you only have one life and it’d be a shame if you lived it according to someone else’s rules. I hope these 11 tips will help you learn to listen to yourself more. That way, you can steer your life in a happier direction!

What did I miss? Is there something you’ve found especially helpful in your quest for confidence and self-acceptance? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post 11 Ways To Start Listening To Yourself More (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Inner peace has many facets that all contribute to an overall sense of serenity. These can be divided into four categories: higher power, harmony, positivity, and lifestyle. These categories encompass smaller factors like a sense of purpose, acceptance, mindfulness, happiness, a sense of humor, and a healthy lifestyle. Therefore, finding and practicing these things can also help you find inner peace. 

In this article, I’ll take a closer look at the different facets of inner peace and, more importantly, how to find it. 

What is inner peace?

“Inner peace” sounds vaguely spiritual, like something you should seek in a temple or through prayer. While those things may be true to some people, there are other aspects to inner peace. 

Like many psychological concepts, inner peace doesn’t have one specific definition. Rather, there are many different definitions for different purposes: a religious counselor might define it one way, while a psychological researcher has a completely different take on the concept. 

To make sure that we’re all on the same page before we get into the nitty-gritty of finding inner peace, I’m going to be using Dale R. Floody’s approach to inner peace. Floody is an American professor of psychology, who developed the Viterbo Serenity Inventory. The inventory is based on multidisciplinary literature, including approaches from positive psychology, 12-Step Programs, nursing, Buddhism, Native American, and mindfulness.

According to Floody’s chapter in the 2013 book Personal Peacefulness, the inventory encompasses four components of inner peace:

1. Higher power
2. Harmony
3. Positivity
4. Lifestyle

Let’s take a quick look at each of these. 

1. Higher power

Higher power involves a sense of spirituality. While it can be related to organized religion, it doesn’t have to be. It can also mean a sense of connectedness to others and compassion, and can involve some sort of reflection or contemplation. 

Furthermore, higher power involves a sense of meaning and purpose in life. In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl argues that people can find meaning in almost anything (including suffering), and in doing so, they can find humanity and inner peace.

2. Harmony

Harmony involves having a place of peace or an inner haven to which you can retreat when faced with life’s normal stresses, adversities, and emotional upheavals.

Achieving harmony may include practicing acceptance, anger management, forgiveness, self-compassion, mindfulness, or meditation. 

3. Positivity

Positivity is all about happiness and subjective well-being. Positive emotions also play a role, although it’s important to realize that “negative” emotions, like sadness, anger and fear, are normal and inseparable parts of life as well. 

A sense of humor, gratitude and positive coping mechanisms also contribute towards a general sense of positivity. 

4. Lifestyle

Certain lifestyle changes are integral in achieving inner peace. These include living for today, pursuing a simple life, appreciating nature, taking care of your health, having positive social networks, contributing to society or volunteering. 

Dale R. Floody also posits that servant leadership is an important lifestyle choice. Servant leaders are first and foremost interested in serving others as a conscious choice, and become leaders as a result.

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Inner peace and happiness

The Viterbo Serenity Inventory implies that as a part of positivity, happiness is essential for inner peace. There is a certain logic to it, as having a higher level of subjective well-being will probably help you make peace-promoting lifestyle changes and practice forgiveness, acceptance and self-compassion. 

However, the causal relationship isn’t entirely clear. The things that make up inner peace, from positive relationships to self-compassion, are also the things that make us happier and promote subjective well-being.

A 2012 study implies that a sense of inner peace is a dimension of durable and lasting happiness, although the authors are hesitant to make concrete statements about causality.

In short, it isn’t clear what came first – the chicken or the egg. Or, in fact, which concept is the chicken and which is the egg in this scenario. Nevertheless, happiness and inner peace seem to be related in one way or another, most likely in a symbiotic relationship, where finding one will help to boost the other. 

7 ways to find inner peace

We all have days when no amount of deep breaths and positive affirmations will calm us down, and we could benefit from some inner peace both in the short and long run. And while it may be hard to define, inner peace doesn’t have to be hard to find. 

Here are 5 tips on how to find inner peace. 

1. Find your why

If you’ve ever felt lost or restless in your life, career or relationships, you know how good it feels when you finally find your direction or purpose. Finding your why and a sense of purpose is an essential step on your road to inner peace. 

There is no one way to find your why. It may involve taking a closer look at your job, hobbies, relationships or any other areas of your life. You can also find out by asking why you chose that particular career or became friends with those people. 

Finding your purpose may also involve stepping out of your comfort zone, trying new things and letting new people into your life. 

2. Practice mindfulness

For many people, mindfulness is synonymous with meditation, and meditation is synonymous with peace. Of course, mindfulness isn’t just about meditation – but it is helpful in finding inner peace. 

The results of a 2013 randomized controlled trial – the gold standard of research in psychological and medical interventions – show that an 8-week mindfulness training program increased the participants’ inner peace. The training involved mindfulness exercises like body scan, sitting and walking meditations and yoga, as well as group discussions. 

So if meditation isn’t your thing, try adopting the mindful worldview of being present here and now without passing judgment on people, situations, experiences and emotions. 

3. Accept that you can’t control everything

You’re probably familiar with the serenity prayer in some variation:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

While initially a Christian prayer, this passage is widespread in secular contexts as well, and for a good reason. In one sentence, it encapsulates the importance of knowing what you can and can’t control. 

One of the easiest ways to lose your cool is to try to control something you can’t, be it the weather or other people. Once you’ve accepted your lack of control over them, you can either move on or realize that you can influence some things. Sure, you can’t control the weather, but you can grab an umbrella if it’s raining. Or while you can’t control another person’s actions, you can be open about your own expectations. 

4. Take care of yourself

It’s easier to find peace if you’re thriving, not just surviving. Making sure that you are eating well, drinking water, getting enough rest, sleep and physical activity are the most basic building blocks of well-being. 

This doesn’t mean that you have to be the picture of perfect health – we all indulge in junk food and lose sleep sometimes.

(Case in point: Estonia is in the middle of a heatwave right now and I live in an old house; peaceful and uninterrupted sleep is a luxury reserved for people with AC.)

Just like “negative” emotions, some “unhealthiness” is a part of life. 

But making sure that you’re well-rested and well-fed will make it so much easier to practice mindfulness and focus on finding your purpose. Because when you’re hungry and tired, your only purpose is to eat and sleep. 

5. Laugh

Life is absurd and unpredictable and sometimes, the best way to find peace is to laugh at it. Don’t be afraid to joke about the hard things in life or giggle at silly memes with your friends. 

Laughing about something doesn’t mean that you’re turning a blind eye to the very real issues or consequences of life. But approaching life with a sense of humor will make it easier to deal with these issues. 

Some time ago, I went to the ballet for the first time in ages. For the ballet company, it was their first performance after lockdown, and among other ballet classics, they performed a COVID restriction-compliant “Dance of the Little Swans”, with the four dancers dutifully holding the recommended 2-meter distance. 

It was a sweet reminder that you can find some fun, peace, and levity even during the second year of a global pandemic.

6. Leave the digital world and enter nature

In today’s hyper-connected era, the digital world constantly bombards us with information and distractions.

It’s essential to take deliberate breaks, stepping away from screens and immersing ourselves in the natural world. Nature offers a therapeutic escape, grounding us and providing a fresh perspective.

Allocate specific times in your week for a digital detox. This could mean turning off notifications, dedicating an entire day away from screens, or simply setting aside a few hours for a nature walk.

Whether it’s a stroll in a local park, tending to a garden, or listening to the calming sounds of a forest, these moments with nature can be profoundly rejuvenating, paving the way to inner peace.

7. Cultivate a daily gratitude practice

Life’s fast pace often blinds us to the countless blessings surrounding us. By actively practicing gratitude, we can shift our focus from what’s missing to the abundance that’s already present.

This simple act of recognizing and appreciating the good in our lives can be transformative, fostering positivity and a deeper sense of contentment.

Begin with a daily ritual of noting down three things you’re grateful for. It could be as simple as a kind gesture from a stranger, the beauty of a sunset, or a cherished memory.

Make it a habit to express your appreciation openly, whether it’s a heartfelt ‘thank you’ to a loved one or acknowledging someone’s effort. These daily moments of gratitude, when practiced consistently, can anchor us in positivity and pave the way to lasting inner peace.

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Wrapping up

Inner peace is a multidisciplinary and multifaceted phenomenon that is closely related to happiness, so it’s no wonder that many people are interested in finding it, especially in our hectic and ever-changing world. And the good news is that there are plenty of tools that can help you find it, from having a sense of purpose and practicing mindfulness to accepting the absurdities of life with a sense of humor.

What do you think? Did I miss something that has helped you find inner peace recently? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!

Maili Tirel Author

School psychologist, teacher and internet counselor from Estonia. Passionate about coffee, reading, dancing, and singing in the shower, much to the neighbors’ dismay. Counseling catchphrase: “It’s okay!“

The post 7 Ways to Find Inner Peace and Harmony (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.