Naturally, you want to improve your brain as much as possible. After all, it is the powerhouse of practically every action we do. But how do you keep such a complex organ healthy? How do you actually nourish your mind?

As you might expect, there is no secret ingredient for nourishing your mind. Rather, it’s a complex recipe of many steps that all work together and complement each other. Let’s have a look at what science says to do to keep our brains healthy as we age. 

What does it mean to nourish your mind?

Nourishing the mind can sound like a very nebulous concept —  like high energy particle physics or letting go of the past.

So before we go any further, let’s take a moment to establish what exactly we are aiming for.

In other words, what does it mean to nourish your mind?

Based on the definitions by several recognized institutions, the British Medical Journal offers this 3-part definition of a healthy brain:

• Optimal brain integrity (overall size, gray matter density, etc.)
• Optimal mental and cognitive function (normal social behavior, movement control, interpretation of senses, etc.)
• Absence of brain diseases that impair normal functioning 

Having this in mind will help guide us in determining what exactly we want to improve about the brain, and what benefits we can expect from doing so. 

Can you improve your brain function by nourishing it?

Did you know that everything you do leaves its mark on your brain? Some experiences create new neurons and connections, while others trigger them to break down and die. 

This happens in a process called neuroplasticity. 

It can be daunting to realize that every decision, habit, and action shapes your brain in some way. But there’s also a very inspiring implication: 

You can still improve your brain, at any age. 

As the studies in this article show, it’s never too late to make your brain smarter, faster, and more protected from diseases like dementia.

Keep reading to find out how. 

9 ways to nourish your mind through exercise

Among a wealth of other health benefits, exercising produces a protein called a brain-derived neurotrophic factor. This protein stimulates greater neural plasticity, or the ability of the brain to change and build new connections.

But if the idea of huffing and puffing at the gym doesn’t make you too excited, here’s something you’ll be very happy to hear.

Studies have shown that it doesn’t take a strenuous workout to get benefits from exercise. Rather, any movement helps to keep you sharp as you age. Even as little as walking for 2 minutes a day.

So there’s really no excuse — especially when you have so much to gain. Older adults with more active lifestyles are found to have overall healthier brains and a lower risk of dementia.

Practically any form of physical movement has benefits for the brain. So choose one that you enjoy enough that you can stick to it. 

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Here are 9 ideas that have been found to be particularly beneficial for the brain. 

1. Aerobic exercise

Aerobic exercise is probably the most common type, so many studies have been done on its benefits for the brain. 

It has been found to be one of the best forms of exercise to improve cognitive functioning, as it helps to reduce inflammation and stimulate the function and growth of neural cells. 

Here are some specific benefits of aerobic exercise on brain health:

• Happier mood.
• Better executive function (mental processes that let us plan, pay attention, remember things, and juggle multiple tasks).
• Greater blood flow to the brain.
• A bigger hippocampus (involved in verbal memory and learning).
• Lower risk of dementia.

2. Swimming

Swimming is technically a form of aerobic exercise. But it seems to give a unique boost to brain health. 

Aside from the benefits of cardio listed above, swimming may give older adults an additional increase in mental speed and attention. 

Another study was conducted with young land-based and swim-based athletes. Twenty minutes of moderate-intensity swimming increased cognitive function in both groups. 

Researchers are still not sure why swimming, in particular, has these brain-enhancing benefits. However, it’s worth noting that swimming involves all the major muscle groups. This makes the heart work harder and increases blood flow throughout the body, including the brain. 

3. Take a walk outside

If just reading about exercise makes you break out into a sweat, no worries. Walking counts too.

The more time research participants spent walking outdoors, the more they had increased gray matter leading to:

• Improved planning.
• Better regulation of actions.
• Better cognitive control.
• Lower risk of psychiatric disorders.

Even short walks gave great benefits. So even if you’ve only got 15 minutes in between Zoom meetings, it’s worth slipping outside to walk around the block. 

Here’s one of our articles that goes further to explain the mental benefits of walking.

4. Weight training

Though the brain isn’t technically a muscle, weight training still gives it a great workout. Gary Small, chair of psychiatry at Hackensack University Medical Center, explains: 

When you lift weights, you’re really focused on form and performing specific moves, which in turn exercises the neural circuits in your brain. 

Weight training also prevents shrinkage of the hippocampus. Moreover, it might be the best form of exercise for improving memory and other cognitive functions. 

5. Yoga

Yoga is another great exercise to increase brain power and nourish your mind. 

A UCLA study had participants do 1 hour of meditative yoga once per week, as well as 12 minutes of at-home meditation. 

They saw significant improvements in:

• Verbal memory (the ability to remember word lists).
• Visual-spatial memory (the ability to find and remember locations).

This might be surprising, as yoga is typically considered a very mild exercise. How can it have such a powerful effect?

Cathay Ciolek, president of the board of APTA Geriatrics, explains:

These types of changes occur when we practice unfamiliar movements, because when we learn new skills, we actually create new neural pathways.

6. Tai Chi

Want to try a less typical workout? Tai Chi might be a perfect choice.

It’s particularly great for brain health, as it combines physical movement with mental focus. Specifically, it might help improve:

• Reasoning.
• Planning.
• Problem-solving.
• Memory.
• Cognitive ability among adults with dementia.

7. Dancing

If the options above seem too bland for you, just put on your favorite song and break a move. 

You’re not just having fun and burning calories, but also reducing the risk of dementia by 76% — twice as much as reading! 

A review published in Current Alzheimer Research even found that dancing improved cognitive performance in people who already have dementia.

8. Do household chores

Though chores don’t really qualify as exercise, they might when it comes to brain health. 

A study found that older adults who spend more time on household chores have a bigger brain, regardless of how many other exercises they do. This was seen in two areas in particular:

• The hippocampus (involved in memory and learning).
• The frontal lobe (involved in many aspects of cognition).

This might be because housework forces people to get on their feet and be less sedentary. Sometimes it can even be a form of low-intensity cardio. But the researchers also point out that housework requires planning and organization that promotes new neural connections.

If you struggle with staying active, this could be a great way to get started,  “since household chores are a natural and often necessary aspect of many people’s daily lives, and therefore appear more attainable.”

9. Spend time in nature

Perhaps the greatest way to nourish your brain with movement is to do it outside. 

Walking and spending time in nature, particularly in forests, helps with over a dozen aspects of health and wellbeing, which we’ve discussed in this article.

But if you don’t have the option to stroll around a forest, including nature in your environment can still provide many of the same benefits: 

• Set up your workstation to have a view of nature.
• Put plants in your home.
• Put up paintings of natural scenery.
• Set a natural scene as your phone screensaver.
• Surround yourself with the color green (products, clothes, interior design, etc.)

3 ways to nourish your mind through food & nutrition

You’ve probably heard that “you are what you eat”. Well, your brain would agree.

Food is a crucial part of nourishing your brain — rather literally. Here are 3 essential tips to include in your eating habits. 

1. Eat foods that are good for your brain (and avoid the bad ones)

When you feel tired or down, you might automatically reach for your favorite candy bar or bag of chips. And it’s true that sugar does have a role in brain function, especially if energy is needed quickly. 

But studies confirm that nothing beats a balanced, nutritional meal. 

Virtually any natural food, like fruits and veggies, is good for our brain. So keep a balanced diet to get a variety of nutrients. This article will help you decide what is good and what isn’t.

It can be a little overwhelming to manage your diet with a long list of foods to include and avoid. So focus on making one change at a time — a great way to start is to replace processed snacks with wholesome ones like fruits or nuts, and swap pop drinks for water or tea. 

2. Keep your gut healthy

We’ve been talking about nourishing your brain, but what about your “second brain” — the gut?

Research has shown that the gut and the brain have two-way communication. The brain affects gut function and vice versa. Gut bacteria can also create important neurotransmitters. 

So keeping your brain healthy also means keeping your gut healthy.

A study suggests one good way to do that is consuming probiotics. Participants who took probiotic supplements had better mental flexibility and stress scores after 12 weeks. 

3. Drink enough water

The human body is made of 60-80% water. And the brain? 73% water.

So you can imagine how important staying hydrated is for nourishing your brain. 

So far, studies haven’t shown significant impairment to cognitive function unless dehydration was severe. 

But not drinking enough water has a huge impact on your mental state and mood, which can affect practically any form of mental performance. 

So even if it’s just to boost your mood, drink the recommended 4-6 cups of water per day to improve your brain skills. 

13 ways to nourish your mind through mental fitness

As we’ve already seen, food and fitness both have an enormous impact on brain health.

But now we get to the most intuitive tips: improving brain function through exercising your brain. 

Here are 13 fun and effective ways to do this. 

1. Learn a new challenging skill

Learning nearly any skill is an excellent way to nourish your mind and keep your brain healthy. 

The one key? It must be challenging for you.

This was shown through a study where participants were assigned to different activities. Some learned quilting, others digital photography. Those in the control groups did activities that were fun but not mentally challenging, like watching movies or playing easy games. 

They each spent 15 hours per week for 3 months on these tasks.  

Afterward, they were tested on their memory. Only the participants who learned a challenging skill showed improvements — and they maintained them when retested a year later. 

The study also showed that learning new skills is much better than practicing “brain games”. The latter can improve certain brain functions, but a new skill strengthens entire brain networks. 

What kind of skill should you choose?

The study author points out that the more difficult the skill is to learn, the greater improvement you’ll see in brain function. But she also says that what’s “challenging” can be subjective: 

Quilting may not seem like a mentally challenging task. But if you’re a novice and you’re cutting out all these abstract shapes, it’s a very demanding and complex task.

So you can have your pick of anything that’s new to you and complex. Most importantly, pick something you can stick to. Harvard-affiliated researcher John N. Morris explains: 

You can’t improve memory if you don’t work at it. The more time you devote to engaging your brain, the more it benefits.

But he also says that you don’t have to aim to make huge improvements:

It is the constant repetition of working to improve, and not the quest for mastery, that can have the greatest impact.

Here are some more ideas from similar studies to get you started:

• Digital photography and photoshop.
• Painting and other art forms.
• Learning a musical instrument.
• Doing expressive or autobiographical writing.
• Learning a language.

Alternative: Make an existing hobby more challenging

If you’re not up for trying a new hobby, Dr. Morris suggests raising the bar for an existing one. For example, if you’re a casual golfer, you can aim to shoot a better score or lower your handicap. 

As he says, “you don’t have the challenge of learning something new, but rather the challenge of increasing your skill set and knowledge.”

2. Learn a new language

Learning a new language technically falls under learning a new skill. But it is so good for the brain, that it warrants its own section.

Studies have shown this has great benefits across a wide range of scopes:

• Babies exposed to 2 languages from birth have better cognitive control abilities.
• Young adults who are bilingual have better attention and concentration.
• Adults who learn a new language have higher than expected intelligence in later life.

More specifically, these studies show learning a new language helps you improve your ability to:

• Ignore distractions to stay focused.
• Switch attention from one task to another.
• Hold information in mind.
• Increase your overall intelligence.
• Buffer your brain against aging.

One thing is clear: no matter your age, a language course or private lessons are a great investment for your brain.

But if you don’t have the time or money for that, even using a language learning app like Duolingo has been proven to have great cognitive benefits. 

Whatever approach you choose, make it a regular commitment. In one of the studies above, participants saw results after 4 months of studying 30 minutes per day, 5 days per week. 

3. Change up your habits

Take a moment to think about your daily routine. How long have you been doing things the exact same way?

Keeping steady habits has great benefits for improving productivity and organization. But if your goal is to nourish your mind, you might like to shake things up a little.

But we’re often so set in our ways, the hardest part of this exercise can be coming up with ideas. Here are some to get you started:

• Change the order of your morning routine or shower routine.
• Make breakfast using only one hand.
• Eat with your non-dominant hand.
• Take a different route to work.
• Stand while you’re working (this may increase productivity too).
• Set times where you don’t use any electronics or social media.
• Try a new place for lunch.
• Exercise in a new environment (try a new gym, change rooms at home, or go to a different park).
• Rearrange your furniture or storage at home.

4. Keep learning new things

You may have heard that learning is a lifelong process. And it seems nature intended it that way — as Keith Rowe put it, “when you stop learning, you start dying.” 

Learning creates new neural connections in the brain, no matter your age. But if you stop, those connections begin to break apart and your cognitive performance suffers. 

So you can think of knowledge like apples: a morsel a day keeps dementia away.

A study even found that an academic background can help slow down brain degeneration in old age. But obviously, you don’t necessarily need to get a degree. The study authors suggest many other ways to continue learning:

• Have thought-provoking conversations.
• Watch intelligent, educational TV shows.
• Enroll in a course.
• Read about interesting topics.
• Keep up with current events and the latest news in science and medicine.

5. Stop multitasking in the wrong way

In a world where productivity is put on a pedestal, multitasking can seem like a requirement. Add to this the fact that we’re surrounded by phones and computers, and it seems almost impossible not to do it.

But you might give it a shot after you hear this.

In fact, multitasking is not just counterproductive. It is also literally causing damage to your brain. 

This is especially true for “media multitasking”. This means using several devices or consuming different types of content at once. For example, listening to music while watching the ball game, or sending an email while talking to someone on the phone. 

In terms of our cognitive functioning, media multitasking hinders our ability to:

• Pay attention.
• Recall information.
• Organize thoughts.
• Switch from one task to another.
• Cope with emotional problems.

So is there any reason why you’d want to multitask? Well, there might still be one.

Multitasking can be beneficial during creative problem solving, as it helps reduce your fixation on a problem. 

6. Listen to or play music

If you’re too tired to actively work your brain, try putting on some great beats instead.

Though it doesn’t require much effort, research has shown that music stimulates the brain like almost nothing else. In particular, it: 

• Reduces anxiety.
• Lowers blood pressure.
• Reduces pain perception.
• Improves sleep quality.
• Lifts your mood.
• Boosts mental alertness.
• Improves memory.

But how can Mozart or Rihanna possibly do all that to your brain? Johns Hopkins researchers explain:

Music is structural, mathematical, and architectural. It’s based on relationships between one note and the next. You may not be aware of it, but your brain has to do a lot of computing to make sense of it.

In fact, listening to music can have the same positive impact on wellbeing as exercising or losing weight. (Though of course, this doesn’t mean you can replace your entire fitness routine with music!)

7. Read 

When it comes to nourishing the mind, reading is one of the first ideas that often pops into mind.

And for good reason. Studies have shown that reading helps protect memory and thinking skills, especially as you get older. The authors suggest that reading every day can slow down the effects of aging on the brain, keeping it healthy and functioning for longer. 

So it’s time to dust off your bookshelves or pull out your ereader. Even newspapers, magazines, and web articles can do the trick. 

If you want to read more about nourishing your brain, here are some great options:

• Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age
• Noise: A Flaw in Human Judgment
• Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know

8. Play some games

You’ve surely heard “work hard, play hard.” As it turns out, both parts of this adage are great for your brain.

But not all games are like the others. 

Here are the 4 best types to improve your brain function. 

1. Puzzle and number games

As the hallmark for training your brain, puzzle games are the first type that helps sharpen your mind.

These include:

• Jigsaw puzzles.
• Crosswords.
• Number puzzles like Sudoku.

2. Board games and card games

Board and card games are also great for the brain, including chess and checkers. These work to enhance the brain’s processing speed and memory. They may also help lower the risk of dementia. 

3. Brain training apps 

Prefer to play on your phone? No problem — many apps are created specifically to train your brain. 

A group of researchers has made 3 apps that have been proven to work through a series of studies: 

• Gwakkamolé — trains inhibitory control (controlling your attention, behavior, thoughts, and emotions).
• CrushStations — trains working memory (remembering information you learn on a daily basis).
• All You Can ET — trains cognitive flexibility (switching between two different tasks, or thinking about multiple things simultaneously).

4. Video games

Here’s great news for any gamers reading this. Research has shown video games can give these benefits: 

• Increased gray matter.
• Strengthened networking within the brain.
• Improved hand-eye motor coordination.
• Improved memory.
• Improved problem-solving and decision-making.

But before you hunker down for a weekend glued to your console, remember that moderation is key in anything you do — and Link can stay frozen mid-swing for as long as you need.

In fact, length of play doesn’t seem to be all that important for nourishing your brain. Rather, it’s the players’ enjoyment that leads to better mental wellbeing. And those who feel pressured to play see the opposite effect.  

9. Draw or doodle

If you tend to doodle while bored in a class or meeting, you’ll be happy to hear that also nourishes your mind.

A study found that drawing, coloring, and doodling all activate the prefrontal cortex. This is where higher-level thinking happens, including:

• Reasoning.
• Problem-solving.
• Comprehension.
• Impulse control.
• Creativity.
• Perseverance.

Participants also felt they improved in problem solving and having good ideas. 

This one is very easy to do: just grab a pen and paper and let your imagination roam free! 

10. Surf the internet 

Addicted to surfing the web? A UCLA study shows it’s actually not a bad way to spend your free time. 

Participants either did a book reading task or surfed the Internet. Both activities showed significant brain activity in regions controlling:

• Language.
• Reading.
• Memory.
• Visual abilities.

But in addition, searching the Internet showed brain activity in areas that control:

• Decision making.
• Complex reasoning.

Surprised? There’s a very logical explanation:

Compared with simple reading, the Internet’s wealth of choices requires that people make decisions about what to click on in order to pursue more information, an activity that engages important cognitive circuits in the brain.

There is only one catch — this extra pair of benefits only applies if the participants are experienced in surfing the web. This is because new internet users don’t yet know the strategies to fully engage in the activity. But with a bit more time and practice, anyone can get these benefits.  

11. Let yourself forget

Did you know your brain has entire mechanisms that promote memory loss? But don’t freak out — this is actually very good for your brain. 

As researchers at the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research explain, the goal of memory is not actually to remember as much as possible for as long as possible. Rather, it’s to only hold onto valuable information that helps you make intelligent decisions.

This also means you have to let yourself forget irrelevant and outdated details. For example, there’s no point in remembering an old procedure at work after the rules have changed.

This is what helps you adapt to new situations and the ever-changing environment around you. 

12. Find a purpose

Have you found your purpose in life? If not, it might be high time to start looking for one. 

Aside from enhancing your wellbeing, having a sense of purpose can reduce the effects of dementia. In fact, a review of studies showed it is more effective for brain health than many other positive psychology concepts.

The researchers speculate that this might be because having purpose inspires you to take better care of yourself. So in essence, you get a happier life — and a healthier brain to boot. 

If you struggle to find your purpose, try pondering these questions:

• What fills you with the most joy? Think back on your last week or month and identify experiences that jump out to you as the most satisfying.
• What are the core values that you want to live by? (health, honesty, courage, self-development, nature, etc.) 
• If you had 2 months of free time and money was not a problem, what would you want to spend this time on? Consider why you would want to dedicate your time to this. 

13. Adopt a growth mindset

You might have noticed that many of the above tips to nourish your mind involve getting out of your comfort zone:

• Learning new skills.
• Practicing challenging activities.
• Changing up your habits.

Some people might jump at the chance to stretch their boundaries in these ways. Others might find it a bit daunting. But if you want to improve your brain, it’s imperative that you open yourself up to these experiences. 

The growth mindset can help you do that.

This is an approach to life and learning coined by Dr. Carol Dweck. It’s centered around the belief that you can get better at anything with motivation and practice. This allows you to view mistakes as opportunities to learn rather than an evaluation of poor performance.  

You can therefore approach new experiences without being held back by fear of failure. 

You can learn more about the growth mindset by reading our article about it.

When you’re ready to put it into practice, here are some ways to cultivate a growth mindset: 

• Acknowledge and embrace your imperfections and weaknesses.
• Try different learning tactics.
• Focus on the process rather than the end result.
• Notice your actions and effort rather than fixed “traits” or “talent”.
• Learn to embrace feedback.
• Keep track of your progress and the lessons you’ve learned.

3 ways to nourish your mind by being social

How do you think your life would look without any other people in it?

Aside from being terribly lonely (not to mention boring), it would be a huge loss for your brain.

Here are 3 key ways your brain is nourished by social interactions. 

1. Socialize

Building connections with others is not just an integral part of our lives and happiness. It also has amazing benefits for the brain.

Even basic interactions with others keep our brains stimulated as they search for thoughts and a way to organize them into communication. That might explain why people who feel less lonely also have less cognitive decline as they age.

Other studies even suggest that an active social lifestyle is a key to warding off dementia. 

And the best part?

You can easily combine being social with many other ways to nourish your mind. Here are just a few ideas:

• Join a group fitness class where the other participants can help you stay motivated too.
• Find a tandem partner to help you practice a new language.
• Join a book club to discuss your favorite books with others.
• Sign up for a class to learn a new hobby.
• Join a choir or a musical group.
• Get together with friends to play challenging games.

2. Surround yourself with good listeners

Is there someone in your life you can always count on to listen?

This person might be doing you a much bigger service than you think.

As it turns out, having good listeners in your life can help support cognitive function and prevent problems like dementia. More specifically, it improves “global cognition”, which includes:

• Thinking.
• Attention.
• Memory.
• Language.
• Visual and spatial reasoning.

In addition, being listened to improves cognitive resilience, which is what keeps your brain healthy and functioning well as it ages.

These benefits were specific to good listeners over other types of social support (providing advice, affection, emotional support, trust, or social contact).

If you’re wondering whether you’re a good listener yourself, here’s our article on how to be one.

3. Give to others

It’s pretty well known by now that giving makes you happy. But did you know that being generous can also nourish your mind?

When you give to others, you have decreased activity in the amygdala. This is the part of the brain where too much activity is linked with anxiety, phobias, and post-traumatic stress disorder. 

However, there is one distinction to keep in mind: giving only has these brain benefits when it is targeted to a specific person. When study participants gave to a charity in general, they showed no change in brain activity.

Here are some ideas for how you can give to others:

• Help a family member, flatmate, or friend with housework during a stressful day.
• Mow your neighbor’s lawn, rake their leaves, or shovel their driveway.
• Support a friend who’s working on a life change.
• Give someone an honest compliment.
• Check-in with a friend you haven’t seen in a while.

2 ways to nourish your mind through sleep

The next time you consider staying up late to watch one more episode on Netflix, you might want to think twice. 

As you’re about to discover, sleep is an incredibly important aspect of nourishing your mind and keeping a healthy brain. 

1. Get quality sleep

If you want to nourish your mind, you’re probably excited to pack as much new information and ideas into it as possible. 

But don’t forget the other half of the equation — rest!

Without sleep, the brain cannot function properly. It doesn’t have time to recuperate, and as a result, neurons become overworked and performance plummets. 

Even pulling a single all-nighter has a myriad of short-term implications, from drowsiness and bad mood to slower thinking and impaired judgment. 

And it gets even worse if sleep problems are chronic or long-term, most notably with higher risk of cognitive impairment and dementia. 

Thankfully, the solution is simple, free, and exceedingly pleasant — get regular quality sleep.

This means sleeping within the recommended number of hours (remember too much sleep is also bad!) and not being woken up throughout the night. 

Your brain will thank you with: 

• Better memory.
• Enhanced creativity.
• Enhanced cognitive performance.
• Lower risk of dementia.

2. Take a nap

Of course, there is no substitute for regular quality sleep at night. 

But taking a nap when you need one also improves brain function and memory in particular. 

One study showed that people remember new information much better if they take a nap after learning it. This is because napping pushes memories from the hippocampus to the cortex, where they can be stored more permanently. 

4 ways to nourish your mind with relaxation

If you’ve ever had someone tell you “just relax!”, you’ll know how maddeningly difficult this can be to do on request.

But chronic stress can be very harmful to our brains. So it’s important for us to carve out time to wind down. 

Thankfully, there are a few specific and easy ways that can help you reduce stress and relax.

Keep reading to find out our final 4 tips to nourish your mind.

1. Practice gratitude

We all say “thank you” on a daily basis, but how often do you actually mean it?

Pausing to consciously tap into gratitude is a powerful way to reduce stress.

There are many ways to practice gratitude. 

If you’re going for long-term benefits, try a daily practice of writing down 3 good things that happened and their causes. This leads to a gradual and consistent improvement in happiness over several months of practice.

But there are many other methods. The key to seeing results is to stick to it long-term. Here are more options:

• Write down things you are grateful for, even on your phone.
• Think of as many things as you can that you’re grateful for in 1 minute (or more).
• Pick 1 thing you’re grateful for and visualize it for 1 minute (or more), focusing on feelings of gratitude.
• Say to a friend or partner what you appreciate about them.
• Text a friend that you appreciate their friendship.

2. Practice deep breathing

Want a way to nourish your mind that’s completely free and that you can do literally anytime? It’s as easy as taking a deep breath.

You’ve probably heard someone tell you to do this in a stressful situation. Neuropsychologist Kristoffer Rhoads explains why:

When you’re stressed or anxious, your breathing tends to be irregular and shallow. Your chest cavity can only expand and contract so much, which makes it hard to get more air in.

Deep breathing helps reverse this process, toning the stress response down through the breath. 

As a result, this:

• Calms your nerves.
• Reduces stress and anxiety.
• Improves your attention span.
• Lowers pain levels.

If you want to sit down for a deep breathing session, Rhoads suggests first activating the stress response. Though it might sound counterproductive, this helps engage the sympathetic nervous system to make the breathing exercise more effective. 

Imagine an extremely stressful situation and notice the physical response in your body. You might feel your heart beating faster, your chest tightening, and your breathing becoming more shallow.

Then, follow these steps to engage in deep breathing:

1. Turn your attention to your breath.
2. Breath from your stomach, pushing it out when you inhale and exhale all the way.
3. Take longer breaths, counting to at least 3 for each inhalation and exhalation. 

Focusing on the length and feel of your breath may also provide some extra mental benefits. 

This exercise might feel a little uncomfortable at first. But soon, you will notice your body starting to relax. 

3. Be mindful

Be honest: how much of your day were you actually present today? Or did you spend most of your time thinking about dinner, your next vacation, or your neighbor’s annoying dog?

A review of over 20 studies suggests that mindfulness could have amazing benefits for not one, but 8 different brain areas. This includes improvements in: 

• Memory.
• Self-awareness.
• Emotion regulation.

You can practice it at any point throughout your day: just bring your focus to the present moment and what you are doing. 

If you struggle with this, set the intention to journal about your day before going to bed. This will make you notice and remember the details around you more. Alternatively, you can imagine you need to recount what you’re experiencing to a friend later. 

And of course, there are many meditations targeted towards mindfulness too. You can find many examples on YouTube, podcasts, or apps such as Aura or Bloom. 

4. Take some downtime

After a long list of choices, changes, and challenges to train your brain, you’ll be very happy to hear this final tip. 

To nourish your mind, it’s very important to have some downtime.

Research has confirmed that taking breaks:

• Improves your mood.
• Boosts your performance.
• Increases your ability to concentrate and pay attention.
• Reduces the likelihood of burnout and health problems from chronic stress.

But we also need to define what this practice means. In the true sense of the word, downtime means not making your brain process any information — at all. This means letting your mind wander and focusing attention inward rather than on the external world. 

So downtime does not include:

• Going to a museum.
• Doing a puzzle.
• Reading a book.
• Catching up with a friend.
• Scrolling through social media.
• Watching TV.
• Playing games on your phone

These activities are all fun and many can be good for the brain in their own way.

These activities all require processing information — and part of the reason we need more downtime is that we’re doing way too much processing already.

So what counts as downtime? Anything that lets your mind meander:

• Sit and stare into space
• Do a mindless task, like vacuuming or weeding.
• Take a walk in nature.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

If you’ve read this article, you’ve already done one thing today to nourish your mind. You’re also now armed with over 30 great tips to work into your daily life. From morning walks in the forest to evening crossword puzzles, there is something for any brain’s tastes. Though there are a lot of health practices to bite into, remember that nourishing your mind comes from cultivating balance — and that includes savoring the occasional dessert.

Do you feel like you’ve got a nourished mind? What’s your favorite tip from this article? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 34 Evidence-Based Tips to Nourish Your Mind and Brain appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Holding a grudge against someone else may make some sense — we want to hold the moral ground, and it feels good to be the poor victim who was wronged. But what if your anger is towards you? Refusing to forgive yourself imprisons yourself in the role of the bad guy. Why is it so hard to do something that will make us happier, healthier, and better? 

In this article, I’ll explain 13 reasons why it’s so difficult to forgive yourself. Then, I’ll give a simple yet effective model for how to do it.

Why is it so hard to forgive yourself?

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Unfortunately, there are some evolutionary reasons for our inability to forgive ourselves.

If you want to learn how to forgive yourself, it’s important to know about the science behind it all.

Here are 13 reasons why forgiving yourself is so difficult.

1. You don’t want to change

Forgiving yourself means accepting that you’ve done something wrong. And that means there is something you need to change.

But as humans, we also long for acceptance, and that can make us very resistant to the idea that we have to change.

So sometimes, we might try convincing ourselves we’ve forgiven ourselves. But really, we’re overlooking or excusing our behavior. As this isn’t true forgiveness, the anger or guilt will keep clinging to you.

Changing can be uncomfortable, but it’s the only way forward when you need to let go of your past actions.

Remember that your mistakes are not you. So you don’t have to change your identity, just your behavior in certain situations. 

2. You think forgiving yourself takes away from repentance

Perhaps you view self-forgiveness as condoning your past actions. You think if you forgive, it means you’re no longer sorry for what you’ve done. So you refuse to let go of guilt to prove that you do repent.

Suffering is your own form of personal punishment.

However, this just makes you less happy and brings negative feelings into all your other relationships.

So it’s time to reframe this belief. Forgiveness doesn’t mean giving yourself the green light to make the same mistakes again. It’s simply not letting your past ones shackle you down.

3. You don’t want to shatter your self-image

We all like to believe that we’re good people with good values. So what happens when you do something that violates those values? It can be hard to reconcile that person with the person you want to see yourself as.

This can make us feel fractured. We become two incompatible selves. So you might refuse to acknowledge that you did something wrong (and forgive yourself for it) as a way to keep your self-image intact.

Here’s one way researchers suggest overcoming this. Affirm your values and remember that you are a complex, benevolent human. You can have great intentions and amazing qualities and still make mistakes. Reflecting on yourself and recognizing this helps reconcile your conflicting selves. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

4. Your past mistakes have become part of your identity

Dr. Matt James from Psychology Today points out that we define ourselves on a time continuum. We start with the past, move through the present, and head towards the future. 

Thus, leaving the past behind (or our version of it in our minds) can feel like losing the ground underneath us. If you’ve clung to it for a long time, it’s like trying to release something that’s a part of you and your identity. 

For this, Gautama Buddha offers the best advice: “Every breath I take is a new me.” He wasn’t speaking metaphorically. His teachings say that life is constant reincarnation from a previous you to a present you.

At any moment, you may experience happiness, sadness, fear, or anger. But that emotion doesn’t last; it changes with each breath and then vanishes. It was experienced by a previous you. And whatever happens in your next breath will be experienced by a different, future you.

If we embrace this concept, then letting go of our past actions is not creating a hole in our identity. In reality, it allows us to let go of someone who no longer exists, and give ourselves space to be the person we are now.

5. You’re too hard on yourself

Chances are, you’ve forgiven people you love and trust for many things. You’re willing and able to see that they made a mistake, regret it, and will do whatever they can to avoid repeating it.

But sadly, many of us don’t have a loving and trusting relationship with ourselves. Instead, we can be extremely critical and have very high expectations. We refuse to cut ourselves the same slack we generously give our friends or family.  

The solution here is to foster love and empathy towards yourself. No matter what your mistake was, you’re certainly not the first or only one to make it. You’re a human just like everyone else, and like your loved ones you deserve forgiveness too.

6. You can’t walk away from yourself

If someone you don’t like or trust hurts you, you might forgive them or not. But you don’t have to be confronted with these feelings as you can easily walk away and avoid contact with them.

With yourself, it’s a different story. No matter what you do in life, you’re the one person you cannot leave behind. So if your usual reaction to being angry with someone is to walk away, you’ll drag your pain everywhere with you.

In order to forgive yourself, you have to choose a different tactic. Avoidance is just one of many different ways to resolve conflict. Though it may feel silly, you can try to imagine having a discussion with yourself and explicitly asking for forgiveness.

7. You hold yourself responsible for things you can’t control

When things are out of your control, it can be impossible to make amends or fix a problem. These are two things that often lead the way to forgiveness.

So if you hold yourself responsible for something you can’t do anything about, you may see no way to forgive yourself.

You must recognize that if you have little or no control over the problem, then you cannot hold most of the blame for it either. It’s natural to feel upset or sorry over something going wrong. But it’s not fair to take more than your share of responsibility for the problem.

Try putting yourself in the shoes of the other people involved. What role did they play in the problem? If you were them, what would be some of your regrets? Forgive them, along with yourself.

8. You’ve forgiven yourself, but can’t hold onto that feeling

Perhaps you feel like you keep replaying the same forgiveness process over and over again. If that’s the case, it’s not actually difficult to forgive yourself but rather to maintain that feeling afterward.

Forgiveness is often thought of as a one-time thing. But it’s actually a continuous process, like keeping a garden clear of weeds. You can pull them all out, but that doesn’t mean no more will ever pop up again. You’ll have to keep doing a bit of maintenance to keep everything in order.

9. You’re avoiding making things right

Refusing to forgive ourselves can be a way to avoid the consequences of our actions.

This is a form of penance, but one that makes us run away from our sense of responsibility. The solution here is therefore pretty clear: face up to what you need to do to repair the damage. Stand up and take responsibility for your actions.

10. Self-criticism is rooted in you

Some personality types are much more critical than others. They beat themselves up over every little thing, and constantly look for confirmation of their negative self-beliefs. For example, a neurotic person may struggle with this.

These kinds of people will also find it much harder to let go of past mistakes. Of course, it is still possible, but the process may take a little longer. You may also need to remind yourself that you have in fact forgiven yourself.

11. It feels selfish to forgive yourself

Forgiveness, particularly if it is towards yourself, may feel selfish. But in reality, it’s definitely not.

While it’s true that in self-forgiveness, empathy is offered to yourself and not others. But the principle stays the same.

Empathy and compassion are always a good thing. If it still feels selfish, remember that you cannot truly be empathetic to others if you have built up anger in yourself.

12. You depend on others’ opinions to forgive yourself

Another reason you might find it hard to forgive yourself is that you’re relying on other people’s opinions of you. What you did could have been horrible, comprehensible, or even totally okay. It all depends on what the people say, and you need them to tell you which one it is. And you can only forgive yourself if they tell you everything is okay.

On one hand, this is understandable. Humans are social creatures and are influenced by others. How others perceive us plays a large role in our survival and status, so it can feel like part of our identity.

But the problem with this is that you’re allowing others to define your sense of morals.

For example, if someone tells you that you did something horrible, this may be true — or not. Alternatively, they could also be:

• Affected by their past and perceive normal things as hurtful.
• Influenced by other events you don’t know about.
• Misunderstanding the situation.
• Lashing out at you from pain that has nothing to do with you.
• Playing psychological games out of unresolved hurt or anger.

What they say doesn’t automatically define whether your actions or intentions were right or wrong. After all, they’re only one person. Ask a dozen others and you might hear a dozen more opinions. Which one should you go with now?

You can of course be sorry that you’ve caused someone pain. It’s also good to seriously consider whether or not there’s something you can work on. But you need to be able to form your own opinion of yourself and your actions.

13. You expect to forgive yourself too fast

Some things are easy to forgive, and others are very difficult. Forgiveness is not always a quick process.

You may need to do several sessions of introspection, meditation, or therapy to work through all your unprocessed emotions.

Why it’s important to forgive yourself

There are many reasons why forgiving yourself is hard. But it’s very worth the struggle, and here is why.

If you don’t forgive yourself, you may be letting your misguided actions redefine your sense of who you are.

Rather than letting go of your past mistakes, they become a part of your identity. Now your mistakes contaminate your values, thought patterns, and future decisions.

If you’re a reader of Tracking Happiness, it’s clear you’re committed to personal growth and being the best person you can be. If this is the case, then self-forgiveness is definitely something you should work on.

Forgiving yourself for past mistakes makes you more likely to make better decisions in the future. You’ll stop repeating the same mistakes and grow into a better person.

Once you forgive yourself, you let yourself start the next chapter of your story. This is called “changing your personal narrative”:

• From “I am terrible and unworthy of love and acceptance,”
• To “I am a fallible and precious human who learned an important lesson which has helped me to become more than I once was.” 

Lastly, forgiveness offers many mental well-being benefits including:

• Better mental and emotional well-being.
• More positive attitudes.
• Healthier relationships.

And also physical health benefits, including:

• Reduced pain perception.
• Lower cortisol levels.
• Lower blood pressure.

But if you still need more convincing, this last point will blow your mind. Forgiveness can give you the same benefits as 40 years of Zen training. A program called 40 Years of Zen measured alpha waves during meditation.

It found that holding onto grudges is the single biggest factor suppressing them. Even those with little meditation experience could achieve the alpha brain state once they forgave. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

How to forgive yourself in 5 simple steps

I’ve already written extensively on how to forgive in a previous article, How to Let Go of Anger. I wrote it with forgiving others in mind, but you could apply the same tips to forgiving yourself.

Here are 5 tips to help you forgive yourself.

1. Recall the hurt

Imagine the situation again and recall the hurt that it has caused you or other people. Be honest with yourself about what happened. Don’t treat yourself like a victim, or anyone else as a jerk.

Make a conscious decision now to not pursue payback and treat everyone involved as a valuable person.

2. Empathize with yourself

Empathize with the person who did the hurt (in this case, yourself).

Imagine talking to a clone of yourself, if that helps. Your clone is your past “you” who made the mistake, and you are the present you who is hurting and angry. Tell your past self about your thoughts and feelings: pour your heart out.

Then, switch positions and sit in the “past you”’s chair. Explain from that perspective what you were thinking and feeling at the time. Try to help the present you see why you made your decisions.

3. Give yourself an altruistic gift

Give forgiveness as an unselfish, altruistic gift. If you’ve done something wrong, you may feel you don’t “deserve” to be let off the hook. But you can still give yourself the gift of self-forgiveness.

4. Commit to forgiveness

Do something to show your commitment. For example, you can write down “Today, on [date], I forgave myself for [past mistake]”.

5. Hold onto forgiveness

There may be times when your anger and hurt starts to resurface and you start ruminating again. Remind yourself that you did in fact forgive yourself. Reread your note if necessary.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Now you know 13 reasons why it’s so hard to forgive yourself for your past mistakes. I hope you now have insight into what to do next, and are one step closer to self-forgiveness. In doing so, you’ll give amazing benefits to both yourself and others in your life. 

Do you have any more thoughts on how to forgive yourself? I’d love to hear them in the comments below.

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 13 Reasons Why It’s So Hard to Forgive Yourself (But Crucial!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Learning to connect with yourself helps you better understand what makes you tick so that you can tap into all the potential life has to offer. And when you start to value your relationship with yourself, all of your other relationships start to flourish.

This article will help you start investing in the only relationship that is guaranteed to last your entire life span. So let’s dive in to learn steps you can take to better connect with yourself starting now.

Why connection with yourself is valuable

If you’re anything like me, sometimes you avoid spending alone time with yourself because you’re afraid of what you might discover.

I find it easier to distract myself with the chaos of life instead of doing the deep work of getting to know who I am.

But I know that when I saddle up and do the deep work, I feel present in my life. And I feel that spark for life again because I feel more connected to my ambitions and aspirations.

Research shows that individuals who develop a sense of self-connection experience greater well-being. This sense of self-connection can be improved through the practice of mindfulness.

It’s funny how we go chasing peace and satisfaction from so many external sources when we can find what we seek inside of us.

Why do we avoid self-connection

It’s easy in today’s world to avoid self-connection. With Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, and that text message from your bestie all vying for your attention 24/7 it’s easier to just ignore yourself and your feelings.

A study from 2020 discovered that people reported both internal and external factors as barriers to connecting to themselves. This meant that things like feeling a sense of negative self-judgment as well as just basic time-related restrictions stopped people from spending time getting to know themselves.

As I mentioned earlier, I know I personally struggle with a fear of what I will uncover when I get to know myself. But through working with a life coach, I have come to realize that my strength lies in facing those fears and getting to know the parts of me that I may have tried to hide.

And through addressing those aspects of myself with connection, I have been better able to heal and ease so many of the anxieties that have plagued me for decades.

I can personally attest that getting to know yourself is worth any discomfort you may have to face in the process.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

7 ways to connect with yourself

It’s time to re-introduce yourself to the person who is guaranteed to never leave your side: you! These seven steps will help you connect with yourself on a deeper level that’s sure to leave you feeling refreshed and grounded.

1. Go back to your childhood aspirations

Kids have this amazing superpower of not overthinking who they are or what they want. They just have this innate knowledge and don’t doubt that anything is possible for them.

As time goes on, it seems we lose touch with this superpower a bit. But I think re-channeling your inner childhood desires can be a great way to reconnect with who you really are.

I remember as a kid I loved to create art of all kinds. Whether it was coloring or finger painting, I loved it all. But as I grew up, I became cognizant that my art was not exactly of Picasso’s quality.

So I stopped creating. But recently I have decided to reconnect to this childhood desire to simply create for the sake of creating.

I’ve begun to learn to crochet and paint pots. And I have to say, I feel that sense of fun playfulness that stems from tapping into my creative side again.

Go back and really think about what lit you up as a child and you may just discover a part of you that has been lost along your adulthood journey.

2. Prioritize quiet time

It seems that everyone recommends quiet time these days. And trust me, there is a reason why.

Our world is so loud and full of constant distractions. It’s no wonder we don’t know who we are when we are constantly bombarded with outside sources trying to give us their opinion about ourselves.

Taking a chunk of time each day to just be with yourself is one of the easiest and yet most powerful ways to reconnect with yourself.

I have developed a habit of spending 5 minutes every morning just sitting on my porch. I aspire to do this for longer, but 5 minutes consistently has been a good start for me.

In these 5 minutes, I become aware of what I’m feeling and I reconnect to my sense of purpose in this world. It helps me ground myself in who I am and align my actions with that purpose.

It doesn’t have to take long. Maybe you just start with 2 minutes. Maybe your eyes are open, maybe they are closed.

The details don’t matter. Just get quiet and you will find yourself again.

3. Don’t ignore your feelings

Do you remember the last time you actually paid attention to your feelings? If you’re anything like me, you’re great at shoving them away and moving on to the next thing on your to-do list.

Your feelings are there for a reason. No matter what the feeling is, positive or negative, it’s there to tell you something about yourself.

I used to try to shove away my sadness because I thought it was better to see the sunny side of things. And while I do still think it’s important not to drown in negativity, I’ve also come to realize that even my sadness is a message to me about what I value.

It’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to be excited. Emotions are neither good nor bad, but rather cues to you about what actions you need to take to be aligned with the best version of yourself.

Now I look at my feelings as messages to me about what I personally find important and what I may or may not need to change in my life.

By actually embracing my emotions, I also feel more in tune with my personal needs and through that, I have found a much deeper sense of satisfaction in my life.   

4. Trust your gut

Do you know that little voice inside of you that says “do this not that”? Turns out that voice can give you a lot of insight about yourself.

Learning to listen to your instinctive reactions and trust them is such a meaningful way to connect with yourself. Your gut is your subconscious way of expressing yourself and eliminates the hyper-focused overthinking side of our brains that we tend to put on overdrive.

I remember in particular when I was in college there was this cute guy who asked me out on a date. Right after he asked me I remember my gut said “Don’t go”. So as any reasonable college girl does, I ignored my gut in favor of having some great eye candy.

It became apparent very quickly that this guy was not at all interested in what I had to say or in making conversation. My gut knew that this wasn’t the type of person I wanted to date and if I would have listened to it I would have saved myself hours of being treated like trash by a man who didn’t respect women.

Whether it be your gut telling you to quit your job or go on that big international trip you’ve been daydreaming about, it’s time to listen to it. Because underneath what seems like a simple gut reaction lies a better understanding of what you want at your core.

5. Take yourself on a date

I used to feel self-conscious or embarrassed at the idea of being seen in a movie theater or at a restaurant alone. But I learned from my best friend that self-dates are actually some of the most restorative dates you can go on.

Once a month, I take myself out on a date where I get to do whatever it is that I want to do. I find by forcing myself to spend designated time alone I come to learn exactly what it is that gives me joy and I am able to reflect on how my life is going.

It’s actually become a date that I really look forward to because I know that I’m in total control of what I get to do and I always feel refreshed by the end of my self-date.

And I do have to say, it’s really fun to go on a date where you don’t spend twenty minutes arguing with someone about where to eat.

6. Journal for self-reflection

Think back to a time when you felt overwhelmed with emotions, and all you wished for was a listening ear. What if that listener could be you?

Journaling offers a unique opportunity to be both the speaker and the listener. By pouring your thoughts onto paper, you’re not just venting; you’re creating a tangible record of your journey.

Over time, as you flip through the pages, you’ll see patterns, growth, and even solutions that might have eluded you in the heat of the moment.

Begin your journaling journey with simple prompts. Start with questions like “How did today make me feel?” or “What’s one thing I learned about myself today?”.

As you get into the rhythm, challenge yourself with deeper introspective questions. And remember, there’s no right or wrong here; it’s all about understanding and connecting with your inner self.

7. Embark on a digital detox

In an era where our phones buzz more frequently than we blink, finding a quiet moment can seem impossible. But imagine a space where you’re free from the constant pings, notifications, and the urge to scroll mindlessly.

That’s what a digital detox offers—a brief respite from the digital chaos, allowing you to tune into the most important channel: yourself. Without the digital noise, you’ll find it easier to hear your thoughts, feel your emotions, and truly be present.

Dedicate specific “no-screen” hours or even an entire day each week. During this period, immerse yourself in activities that rejuvenate you.

Maybe it’s a walk in the park, a session of meditation, or simply lounging with a good book. The goal is to disconnect from the digital and reconnect with yourself.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

You devote hours of your time and energy to connecting with those you love the most. It’s only fair that you give yourself the same tender loving care by nourishing a connection with yourself by using the tips from this article. And I promise you that investing in getting to know yourself is never a decision you will regret.

What’s your favorite way to connect with yourself? Please share it with the rest of us in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 7 Ways to Connect with Yourself on a Deeper Level appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Sometimes we don’t need a profound reason why we are the way we are. But a deep understanding of ourselves is crucial for our happiness. When we understand ourselves we can avoid stress as much as possible. When we understand our triggers we can erect boundaries. When we have self-knowing we can choose joy and surround ourselves with nourishing connections. 

Understanding ourselves is key to our happiness. It’s time to stop following the crowd and going along with the masses. Read on to discover how you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself. 

Do you really know yourself? 

Have a thought about the following questions. 

• What are your strengths and weaknesses? 
• Describe your perfect day? 
• Who are your 6 fantasy dinner date guests? 
• What makes you laugh? 
• What are you scared of? 

If you can answer these questions with ease, then chances are you have a good idea of who you are. If you are struggling, then maybe you need to be a little more mindful and self-aware as you go about your business. 

It’s difficult, as human beings are social creatures.

From a young age, we seek security and safety in a group. Very often we adopt the characteristics of a group in order to fit in. This may be as simple as our food choices or as impactful as our vaccination habits. 

Are the music you are listening to and the clothes you are wearing based on your own choice or is it purely to help you fit in? Is the car you are driving for external approval? Is the book you are reading to help you keep in with friends or are you genuinely enjoying it?

Are your opinions your own, or have you been influenced by others?

Discerning if we are acting authentically or for the benefit of our peers is an important step in understanding ourselves.

The benefits of understanding yourself 

When we find a deeper understanding of ourselves we invite a number of benefits into our life. This includes greater self-esteem and levels of pride. 

Understanding ourselves also helps us show ourselves more compassion. We are kinder to ourselves and make decisions based on our level of understanding of our likes and dislikes and our interests. 

It’s very simple. The greater our understanding of ourselves, the greater our self-confidence.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 ways to understand yourself better 

For the last few years, I have been on a mission to find a stronger connection with myself. My yearning is to find self-acceptance and in order to do this, I need to find a deeper understanding of myself. I want to show myself love and compassion. 

I am working tirelessly on reducing my people-pleasing skills. I am placing my time and energy in people and places that my heart lights up for. I am learning to say “no” to people and places that my heart wilts for. 

This is not an easy process. But when we have a greater understanding of ourselves, we live a more authentic life. This brings a richer fulfillment in all areas of life.

Here are 5 ways you can find a deeper understanding of yourself. 

1. Identify your morals and values 

Identifying our own morals and values is an essential part of understanding ourselves. 

Consider your political allegiance. Reflect on your religious standing. What do you think about some of the big issues in the world today? What charities do you support? How do you feel about gun laws, testing on animals, or abortion? 

These are big issues and will help you figure out where you stand morally. They may also help you identify your values. 

2. Develop your self-awareness 

According to this article, we have internal and external self-awareness. An internal self-awareness includes knowledge of our morals and values as stipulated above. 

Our external self-awareness is how we recognize we are perceived by others. 

Do you know how you come across to others? You may think you are fun and jovial, whereas your nearest and dearest may find you abrasive and rude. 

How do people respond to you? How effective is your communication? 

Have some honest conversations with friends and family. Do you portray your real self to the outside world? 

3. Listen to your gut

When you get a message from someone you are purposefully untangling from, your heart no longer jumps for joy. Rather, there is a little dark cloud or a momentary sense of discomfort. Listen to your gut. If you feel “meh” about someone or something, then don’t indulge in it. 

If you feel a sense of dread about going to a party, then don’t go. If you spend half your energy on people and things who don’t bring you joy, you will be exhausted and in turn, become insincere. 

Be honest, do you even like who you are when you are with people or in situations that suffocate you? Listen to your gut. It will help direct you to a deeper understanding of yourself. 

4. Engage in therapy 

We all have blind spots. We may be repeating cycles of harmful behavior. We may have past trauma we haven’t come to terms with yet. Whatever our history, therapy is a sure way to help us understand ourselves. 

Remember, it is important that you feel comfortable with your therapist. If you don’t like them, find a new therapist. Engage with the process and embrace it. If you only give half of yourself to the therapeutic process, you will only receive half of the benefits. 

5. Find acceptance 

Once you find yourself in a place of self-knowing, accept it. Recognize yourself for who you are and learn to be happy with who you are.

Don’t force yourself into situations that leave you anxious. Accept your limitations and embrace your strengths. Do more of what you enjoy and what brings you energy and joy.

Even if it turns out you aren’t the person you thought you were, you will find greater peace by living authentically and accepting yourself rather than trying to live a lie. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up 

It’s not just about understanding ourselves, it’s about acting in accordance with this. Understing yourself is about inviting happiness into your life and avoiding people and circumstances that no longer bring you joy. 

Do you have a good understanding of yourself and who you are? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Simple Ways to Understand Yourself Better (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Because of powerful influences like social media, it seems more challenging than ever to like what you see when you look in the mirror. Sadly, it’s not just physical critiques, either. Many of us fall into the habit of criticizing ourselves emotionally and mentally.

Sure, it’s good to seek out self-improvement, but only when done healthily. If you too struggle with the concept of loving (and liking) yourself, then keep reading to discover more about this problem and see what you can do to change.

Why it’s hard to like yourself

Learning to dislike yourself is an unhealthy thought pattern that can develop as early as childhood. This habit often starts due to critical parenting for some, but that’s not always the case. 

Unfortunately, some people’s brains are simply predisposed to this type of thinking, so it’s more of a natural reflex than a learned behavior.

I believe it’s normal to challenge yourself to be better in some areas of life, but blatantly disliking yourself is entirely different. We all want to change ourselves in one way or another. That’s human nature. Some typical areas for self-improvement include wanting to be: 

• Stronger.
• Smarter.
• Healthier.
• Skinnier.

The desire to change everything about yourself or fixate on a few bad qualities can quickly get out of hand, though. For example, dwelling on your weight or physical appearance can sometimes lead to eating disorders.

So you have to be aware of your inner dialogue and negative thoughts to keep these feelings in check.

So how exactly does a desire to improve yourself transform into not liking yourself? Well, it’s complicated.

Why do I dislike myself?

Some people don’t hate their bodies because of their physical appearance, but instead for more complex reasons. For example, it might be easy to fall into self-hatred if you are battling a physical disability or chronic health condition.

I have personally been diagnosed with a few challenging health conditions, and there are days when I do indeed hate my body. It’s hard to love yourself (or even like yourself) when your body struggles to function normally. I consistently compare myself to other people in my age group and wonder why my life can’t be as easy as theirs.

Not everyone shares this same sentiment, obviously. For some people, hating yourself goes much deeper than the physical body. We can dislike ourselves for a multitude of reasons, like:

• The inability to find love.
• The struggle to finish college or find a decent job.
• The challenge of facing our past traumas.
• Finding a way to forgive ourselves for past mistakes.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 tips to like yourself better

Like any other form of irrational thinking, learning to like yourself takes time and dedication. But, unfortunately, when you get comfortable tearing yourself down every day, it’s difficult to stop this addictive thought process suddenly.

Luckily, there are numerous small ways to change your thinking and ultimately start to like yourself more.

1. Accept your flaws

Everyone wants to change something about themselves. Whether it be an acne-filled face or your bad habit of procrastinating, there’s always room for improvement. But fixating on those flaws will only bring you down.

If you must work on personal growth, I recommend you start small. Just focus on one thing you want to fix and leave the rest alone.

Nobody is expecting you to be perfect in life. There is often beauty and ingenuity in our imperfections. You don’t have to love your flaws necessarily. Just start to accept them for what they are.

2. Forgive yourself

Once you start to accept yourself and your flaws, I also suggest you learn how to forgive yourself. Developing a sense of self-compassion is critical to loving (and liking) yourself.

Sometimes this type of forgiveness involves other people, as it may pertain to a poor choice you made in a past relationship. However, forgiveness can be a strictly private matter as well.

This could involve forgiving yourself for:

• Being sad or depressed.
• Worrying incessantly.
• A cheat meal or an extra slice of cake.
• Dwelling on negative things.

It might sound silly, but I believe it’s important to acknowledge this kind of forgiveness with yourself either in a journal or maybe in a therapy session. It’s often quite alarming when we think about the various things we’re holding onto. Letting go of these internal battles is a big step in the right direction to liking yourself more.

3. Practice positive self-talk

Self-talk is essentially the inner dialogue that can feed us either positive or negative messages. If you struggle to like yourself, you are probably already familiar with negative self-talk, as it often plays a significant role in self-hatred.

On the other hand, positive self-talk can make a huge difference in your self-love journey. For example, simply reminding yourself that you are worthy, beautiful, and good enough can genuinely change the way you think about yourself long-term.

There are several other benefits to positive self-talk, including:

• Improved immunity.
• Pain reduction.
• Stress reduction.
• Overall greater life satisfaction.

4. Stop comparing

Social media has made it nearly impossible for us to love and accept ourselves fully because we are constantly bombarded with ridiculous highlight reels from other people’s lives. So when you compare your worst day with someone’s best moment, of course, you will be disappointed.

I’m not saying you have to quit social media altogether unless that’s something you feel led to do. But instead, maybe try to control your social media intake per day because it almost always leads to unhealthy comparisons.

I think it is essential to stay off of social media on the days when you are feeling really down about yourself. If you’re already struggling to like yourself, looking at a celebrity’s picture-perfect life will likely just make you feel worse.

Here’s an article with more tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others.

5. Look for the good

Finally, I want to stress the importance of finding things you genuinely like about yourself. Of course, there will always be things you wish you could change, but on the flip side, I believe you can always find a few good qualities if you look hard enough.

If you need some motivation or help in this area, I suggest you ask your loved ones what characteristics they like about you. Their answers might surprise you.

I believe there is good in everyone if only you take the time to find it.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Learning to like yourself is often a lifelong battle, so don’t get discouraged if things don’t come easy at first. Even if you only make small changes, in the beginning, baby steps are better than nothing at all. Hopefully, with the addition of these tips in your life, you will learn to like yourself more over time. Continue to find the good in yourself and accept who you are. Remember, no one is perfect. We are all just doing the best we can.

Do you find it hard to like yourself, even during your best days? Try to work on some of the tips discussed in this article and let me know what your experiences are. I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Megan PierceHall Author

Former data analyst. Originally from Honolulu, now traveling the world on a mission to make the most out of life. Media specialist by day, huge classical music nerd, and sudoku solver at night.

The post 5 Tips to Like Yourself More (and Why It’s so Important) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Self-reflection allows you to better understand yourself and grow as a person. Other benefits of self-reflection include reduced stress, better connection in relationships, and enhanced general well-being. With these benefits, you may be surprised how simple it actually is to practice more self-reflection in your life.

In this article, we will look at the definition of self-reflection, why it is important, and some tips on how you can practice it in your everyday life.

What is self-reflection?

Self-reflection means taking the time to think about and evaluate your character and actions. This includes reflecting on your thoughts, behaviors, values, biases, motivations, and desires. It is the process of uncovering the “why” behind your thoughts, emotions, and actions. 

Practicing self-reflection takes time and intentionality. It requires that you take a step back to think about your life and the reasons you think the way you think and do the things you do. 

Self-reflection can take many forms, including reflecting in the moment as well as after the situation has happened. Self-reflecting in the moment allows you to quickly understand your thoughts and behaviors and act on them in real-time. 

For example, you may be having a difficult conversation with a friend, and you feel the tension building. Self-reflecting in this moment can help you to keep your patience, acknowledge and understand your emotions and thoughts, and act accordingly. You can ask yourself:

• Why am I responding this way?
• Why do I feel this way?
• What is driving my behavior? 

You can also self-reflect after situations to grow and learn from experiences. For example, you can ask yourself:

• Is there anything I would change about my behavior and response next time?
• How can I overcome these challenges in the future?

Lastly, self-reflection can also be used as a tool to savor and be thankful for the enjoyable moments in life.

For example, you may think back to a special moment in your life such as a vacation, wedding, or memory with loved ones. Returning to these moments enriches life and allows you to appreciate its beautiful moments. 

Why is it important to self-reflect?

There are many benefits of engaging in self-reflection including reduced stress, improved learning ability, a better understanding of yourself, feeling more connected in relationships, and overall stronger well-being.

Self-reflection has been shown to reduce stress in various aspects of life including academics and athletics.

A 2015 study looked at the effect of self-reflection learning exercises for nursing students undergoing their clinical practicum. The study found that the exercises improved students’ clinical competence and reduced stress levels. 

When it comes to athletics, research demonstrates that practicing self-reflection is considered necessary in order to improve physical and mental performance. Athletes use self-reflection to better understand aspects of their performance that went well, and areas they would like to improve. They can then brainstorm solutions and a course of action to achieve their goals in the future. 

Studies also show that self-reflection is linked to personal growth and higher life satisfaction. When you are able to self-reflect you gain a better understanding of your strengths, areas of improvement, goals, and motivations. It opens you up to the possibility of positive change and allows you to learn from your past experiences. 

When it comes to relationships, experts say self-reflection is one of the most important boxes to check. When partners in a relationship are reflective and aware of their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, they are able to better understand themselves, listen to feedback from their partner, and recognize the part they play in relationship issues. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 tips to practice more self-reflection

Now that you have learned why self-reflection is so important, let’s dive into some helpful tips to integrate it into your life. 

1. Ask yourself questions to prompt reflection

Try and think of some questions you can ask yourself to prompt self-reflection. Having pre-planned questions can help you create a routine around self-reflection. You can try to integrate this routine daily, weekly, monthly, whatever works for you!

This list is a great place to start, with over 80 questions to prompt self-reflection. Intentionally taking time to answer some of these questions thoughtfully is a great way to help you better understand yourself. 

2. Journal

Journaling is an excellent way to get your thoughts and emotions out. It can also be a useful tool for you to look back on and see patterns and changes in your reflections.

If you are having trouble getting started, or aren’t sure what to write about, there are lots of great resources to help. Try an online diary app or a print journal for self-discovery and reflection. 

3. Be able to differentiate between self-reflection and rumination 

Self-reflection is supposed to be constructive and beneficial, however, there are times when reflection turns into worry, negativity and rumination.

Knowing how to differentiate between constructive self-reflection and rumination is important to ensure you are getting the most out of your reflections. 

Reflective thoughts are curious, but neutral or factual.

For example, you may think “What motivated me to do that? Why did I respond that way?” Contrarily, ruminating thoughts tend to be more negative, judgmental, and emotionally charged. For example, “I can’t believe I did such a stupid thing, what is wrong with me?”

When you find yourself ruminating instead of reflecting, take a break and try again another time. You can also try some of these tips to help you stop ruminating. 

4. Seek support 

Sometimes self-reflecting can be difficult to do alone. If you need help working through difficult emotions or situations, there is no shame in seeking support from a loved one, or a trained professional.

Therapists can help you to enhance your self-reflection skills in a safe environment. They can also assist if you notice rumination is an issue and explore any underlying issues that may be a contributing factor. 

Here is an article that explains the many benefits of seeking support in more detail.

5. Carve out time for reflection 

Make self-reflection a priority by intentionally scheduling time to do it! Life can get hectic with our phones constantly buzzing, new shows to binge, social commitments, work; the list goes on.

If you don’t intentionally take the time to self-reflect, odds are you may not do it enough to see the benefits. Start small by trying to do it weekly or biweekly, then work your way up to daily. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

When we fail to self-reflect on our lives, we lose the opportunity to grow and learn from our experiences. Self-reflection is a skill that needs to be developed and nurtured. With a little time and patience, you will be able to integrate self-reflective practices into your everyday life and experience the many benefits that come with it. Start small by trying one of the tips in this article, and go from there!

What do you think? Do you find it difficult to practice self-reflection? Or do you want to share your experiences on how to self-reflect with our readers? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Jessie Faber Author

Writer, athlete, social worker, and professional thrift shopper. Born in Canada, but currently living my dream playing professional soccer in Greece. Passionate about mental health advocacy, sewing, singing, and playing guitar.

The post 5 Strategies to Practice Self-Reflection (and Why it Matters) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

We have up to 60,000 thoughts a day. Isn’t that incredible. But how many of these thoughts are serving us and how many are dragging us down? Apparently, the majority of these thoughts are negative and almost all of these thoughts are ones we had the previous day. If we have the same thoughts each day, where is the scope for change and growth? Imagine we could step away from the norm. Wouldn’t it be great if we could shed some repetitive thoughts and make space for new ideas? 

In this article, we discuss the benefits of controlling our thoughts. I share some tips on how we can control our thoughts to help lighten our mental bandwidth. 

Why it’s important to control your thoughts

I understand, not all thoughts are negative. But it is our negative thoughts that grip our brain and stick their unwanted spiky claws into our cortex.

Think of the last big event in your life. Maybe it was completing a Ph.D. or launching a business. Perhaps it was organizing a large event or being involved in some sort of competition. 

Did you experience the “what if” train? Did you ever find yourself stewing over all the things that could go wrong? Did you feel the sense of fear build as you mentally listed all the things that could cause you to fail?

• What if the bus doesn’t arrive on time?
• What if I’m late?
• What if I lose the key?
• What if I become ill?
• What if I forget my lines?
• What if people don’t support me?
• What if my outfit malfunctions??

When we go down the hole of “what ifs” we spend an awful lot of time fuelling our brains with fear. This is called ruminating, and it’s a terrible thing to do. Essentially we are putting petrol in a diesel car. We are crippling our brains. 

Fascinatingly, when we indulge in catastrophizing thoughts, we experience more acute and chronic pain. 

This is why we need to give more space to positive thoughts. When we learn to control our thoughts and think constructively we are effectively putting premium petrol in our supercar brain. We evade physical and mental pain. 

What happens if we don’t control our thoughts?

It’s very simple. When we don’t control our thoughts, we crash. 

And I’m sure we have all experienced a brain crash at some point. 

Rumination and worry are correlated with anxiety and depression. What comes first is the difficult one. But according to this study, repetitive negative thinking may well lie at the core of the comorbidity between anxiety and depression. 

So, if we don’t control our thoughts we risk being engulfed with anxiety and depression.

I used to work in child protection. On a daily basis, I dealt with abuse cases. If I gave way to the repetitive negative thinking train, I would be rendered useless. The only way we can work in a stressful environment and not be impacted is by owning our minds.

When we succumb to our negative thoughts, we lose drive, vision, passion, and optimism. We lose our sense of hope. 

Without hope, we are almost worthless. In fact, hope is associated with better physical and psychological well-being, better social well-being, and less psychological stress. We must always be able to have hope. Hope for a better life for ourselves and those around us. And a corresponding faith that we can achieve this. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 techniques to control your thoughts 

Are you even aware of your thought patterns? Do you recognize when you are being particularly negative? Do you currently try to change your thought process? 

Someone close to me is going through a tough time. But she has pushed away everyone who loves her. I am impotent. I have wasted weeks on worry and rumination.

Now, for my own well-being, I must be able to switch my imposing thoughts off. Every morning I wake up and wonder if she is still alive. I have closed my brain off from this topic. It’s not that I don’t care. But self-preservation is essential. 

Intrusive thoughts, negative thoughts, and rumination. These affect all of us at times. The good news is we can learn to train our brains. We can teach it to go to more positive thoughts instead of looking for the negative. 

Here are 5 tips on how you can control your thoughts. 

1. Thought-stopping and redirecting 

Recognize when you have a negative thought and stop it. Pay attention and don’t give any more time to pursue the thought.

To stop it, you could purposefully think about something else to distract you. Or you could redirect the thought into a more positive light. 

Thought-stopping has been proven to be a good coping mechanism tool. It’s also something a lot of self-aware people do. When you’re self-aware, you’re able to catch bad thoughts before they transition into words.

2. Meditation and mantra 

Learn to sit still and focus on quieting the mind. Meditation is a tool you can use to calm and balance the mind. 

Let’s focus on mantras. Find a mantra you can relate to. Or make up your own. Sit quietly and repeat this mantra whilst focusing on your breathing. Invite positive energy and expel negative energy. 

When we hum during our mantra or meditation practice, nitric oxide is released into the body, this helps muscle relaxation and blood flow. 

3. Plan and prepare 

Remove scope for unnecessary or repeated decisions by planning and preparing. This may be a week in advance or a day in advance.

For instance, you could select your daily outfits a week in advance and have them ready. Perhaps you could draw up a weekly meal plan. Figure out when you will squeeze your training into the day. Add any phone calls you need to make to your “to do” list.

When we plan our days and weeks, we remove all the intrusive thoughts of worrying about what we will eat, or wear. If we plan and prepare and update our diaries we can simply answer our intrusive thoughts with a “that’s all under control, now quiet”. 

4. Relaxation techniques 

Relaxation techniques come in many different guises.

How about trying some simple breathing exercises? If you feel particularly overwhelmed with thoughts, take a few minutes to breathe in for a count of 4 and out for a count of 4. When we slow down our breathing and focus on breathing deeply, we engage our parasympathetic nervous system which helps to calm our body down. 

One relaxation technique that I love the idea of is coloring in. Coloring in has been proven to reduce the fear in our brains. It is said to have a similar effect on our minds as meditation.

5. Read a book 

I love reading. I don’t read as much as I would like, but I always read before I go to bed. I am a good sleeper and I don’t normally lie awake procrastinating or ruminating. Is this because I read? 

If you struggle with intrusive thoughts whilst you are trying to get to sleep try reading. Escape into a different world and rid your mind of your thoughts. 

Reading changes our brains, literally! Not only that, but reading helps us to: 

• Be more empathetic.
• Expand our vocabulary.
• Prevent age-related cognitive decline.
• Reduce stress.
• Prepare us for a good night’s sleep.
• Alleviate depression symptoms.
• Live longer.

And the good news is, it doesn’t matter so much what you read. Read anything you can!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Not all thoughts are bad. But repetitive, negative, and intrusive thoughts can be crippling. We don’t need to accept this. Our thoughts do not have the right to control our well-being. When we take ownership of our thoughts we improve our well-being and evade a negative mental spiral. 

Do you find the idea of controlling your thoughts intimidating? What’s your favorite strategy to keep your thoughts in order? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Strategies to Control Your Thoughts and Your Mind appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

It’s not that the talkaholic has bad intentions; in fact, in some cases, their excessive talking is considered more of a mental health concern than a deliberate choice or quirk. Regardless, talkaholics tend to strain social situations in uncomfortable ways.

In this article, I will discuss what it means to talk less, explain the benefits of doing so, and suggest valuable tips for how to talk less and listen more.

When it comes to talking, quality is more important than quantity

The motive behind prompting over-sharers to talk less is not to suppress them. It’s to encourage thoughtful, balanced communication.

Anthony Liccione, poet, and author, once said, “A fool is made more of a fool when their mouth is more open than their mind.”

In other words, it’s easy for a person to appear careless and imprudent when speaking, instead of listening, is their primary concern. 

Sharing your thoughts with the world is a good and necessary act. You have a unique perspective that no one else can emulate. However, it’s important to recognize that the thoughts of others are just as important as your own. 

Think of it this way: There’s only so much space in a conversation. The more you express, the less someone else gets to. Your decision to distribute the “airtime” (or not) has the power to make someone else feel heard and understood or silenced and overlooked.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Why talking less is important

Not only does talking less communicate respect for others, but it also helps avoid conflict in relationships. Once you’ve spoken a thought into existence, you cannot retract it. You might say something you don’t quite mean or reveal information you probably shouldn’t have. No matter what, you will have to face the consequences of your words.

Talking less also fosters humility. It allows you to gain perspective and exposure to new ideas. It’s unlikely that anyone knows everything there is to know about a topic.

Even if you believe you’re an expert in some way, it can be enlightening to take a step back and hear what others have to contribute.

Tips for talking less and listening more

If you wish to talk less but don’t know where to start, check out the tips below. Even the slightest mindset shifts can significantly improve your self-control and ability to make space for others in conversation. 

1. Reflect on your desire to speak

Before simply resolving to talk less, take a quiet moment to reflect on your desire to speak as often as you do.

Ask yourself, “What are my intentions? Why do I feel I must share this information?”

You may discover some things about yourself that you didn’t previously know. For example, you might learn that your urge to talk excessively comes from one of the following sources:

• Anxiety.
• Defensiveness.
• Insecurity.
• Low self-esteem.
• Neglect.
• Pride.

In some cases, talking too much may also be symptomatic of a mental disorder. In this case, specialized assistance from a psychologist could be necessary for behavioral change.

Talking too much is also a sign that someone lacks self-awareness, as discussed in this article.

2. Evaluate your thoughts before speaking

Ever heard of the idea that less is more? That’s often true when it comes to words. When you make a habit of being concise, people tend to listen. Why? Because for you, every word carries weight.  

Evaluating your thoughts before speaking is one of the best ways to ensure you say exactly what you mean. It also prevents you from oversharing. When you feel the urge to chime in during a conversation, ask yourself these questions first:

• What is the occasion? 
• Is what I’d like to say appropriate to express on this occasion?
• What is my relationship with the person I’m speaking to? 
• What do I know about their beliefs, experiences, and values? 
• Would it be sensible for me to share what I’d like to say with this person at this time?
• What is motivating me to share this piece of information?
• Am I informed enough to share about this topic?
• Is what I’m about to say redundant? Has someone already said it?
• What information do I want to remain private?

Remember, you can always share more later. Don’t be afraid to omit information if you’re on the fence about divulging it.

3. Be inquisitive

Conversations should be balanced, so if you notice yourself talking too much, consider switching gears and asking a question. Asking questions shows you care about the thoughts and experiences of others instead of just your own.

I didn’t recognize the importance of being inquisitive until after I graduated college. Suddenly, developing relationships wasn’t as easy. I realized I had less in common with people in the “adult world,” so I coped with this awkwardness by talking…a lot.

The problem with this approach was that I left social engagements feeling dissatisfied. I hadn’t truly connected with people; I had spewed my words upon them. Eventually, I learned it was possible to find points of similarity with others; I just had to keep digging.

Before every outing, I began formulating a couple of questions I genuinely wanted answers to. This practice completely transformed the way I navigated social events, and the result was stunning. Being inquisitive allowed me to form deeper bonds with people than I had expected.

If the idea of developing thoughtful questions sounds intimidating or impossible to you, you’re in luck! There’s an entire archive of questions that already exists for your use. Explore the following platforms to find questions you like:

• Card decks like We’re Not Really Strangers or Let’s Get Deep. 
• Conversation starter apps like Party Q’s or Gather.
• Websites or blogs (I personally love this list from the New York Times).

I revisit these platforms time and time again to take note of fresh questions, and I’m always impressed by what I find.

4. Practice active listening

One of the most effective ways to eliminate a bad habit is to replace it with a better one. Instead of expending all your energy talking, try active listening instead.

Active listening requires a person’s full attention as well as intent to understand the speaker. There are several ways to show someone you are engaged in a conversation:

• Make eye contact.
• Lean in.
• Smile or nod.
• Ask clarifying questions.
• Repeat what you’ve just heard.
• Avoid interrupting.

If your focus is set on listening actively during a conversation, you will feel less inclined to talk. Practicing active listening on a regular basis can gradually nudge any relationship into a deeper and more authentic place.

Active listening is a big part of how to be a better listener, as discussed in this article.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Sharing your thoughts is a crucial part of participating in the world and relating with others. However, it’s important to give people the same amount of conversational space as you might expect. Deciding to withhold information may feel strange at first, but with time, it’s likely you’ll find it as natural as breathing.

Do you consider yourself to be a talker? Or do you prefer to analyze what others are saying? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

Jamie Staudinger Author

Former English teacher-turned-writer with a stereotypical zeal for coffee. Most content when I’m on the soccer field or sharing a fancy meal with someone I love.

The post 4 Simple Tips to Talk Less and Listen More (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

You have likely stayed in a relationship or job longer than is healthy. Maybe you persevered with a struggling side hustle, convinced that success was just around the corner. It takes guts to quit and walk away; many people wait to be pushed instead of jumping on their own accord. 

This article will outline what it means to quit and the benefits of this. It will also suggest 5 ways to help you know when to quit.

What does it really mean to quit?

There are a lot of negative connotations associated with quitting, but the reality is it’s a hugely positive thing. 

When we quit something, we stop doing it, or we leave. We can quit many things; here are some examples: 

• Jobs. 
• Alcohol, smoking, drugs. 
• Relationships.
• Friendships. 
• Places.  
• Hobbies and interests. 

An interesting article on quitting smoking by the American Lung Association outlines quitting as a three-step process. 

• Physical.
• Mental.
• Social.

While this is in the context of smoking, we can apply it to all situations of quitting. 

The physical element of smokers is the impact of hormones and chemicals in the body. 

The mental aspect is concerned with habits such as daily routines. For instance, lighting up a cigarette at a particular time of day or when you feel particularly stressed or tired. 

The social part can be negative and positive. For instance, there is a social aspect to congregating in a smoking area. But a positive aspect of the social part of quitting can also be through social support. 

You can see how we can use these physical, mental, and social aspects in all areas of quitting. 

The benefits of quitting 

The 21st century began with “yes” energy. Say yes to everything, and seize every opportunity. A do-it-all sort of attitude. But I think this has exhausted us. 

Maybe it’s an age thing, but I no longer suffer from a fear of missing out (FOMO). Instead, I revel in the joy of missing out (JOMO). 

And that’s just it. Why are we still doing something that isn’t adding to us and bringing us joy? 

I have recently quit a 17-year career, so I have good authority on knowing when to quit. My enthusiasm and passion for this job had diminished. Once I found the courage to quit, I felt relieved and free. 

When we quit something that doesn’t serve us, we make space for something that brings joy and happiness. 

Think about it. We can’t enjoy the job of our dreams if we are stuck in a dead-end job. We can’t meet a partner who brings us immense happiness if we are still in a relationship with someone who drags us down. We can’t reach our health potential if we still drink and smoke excessively. 

Quitting means getting rid of something old and making space for something new.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 ways to know when to quit

Let’s be honest; we all know people who should have quit their jobs long ago. They are miserable and negative people, often dragging others down with their unhappiness. 

The same goes for romantic relationships. I should have quit a previous relationship a few years before I did. If only I had seen these 5 tips on how to know when to quit. 

1. Listen to your energy and the energy around you

Just days before Liz Truss stood down as the shortest-serving British Prime Minister, she said, “I’m a fighter; I’m not a quitter.” I can’t tell you what her energy was telling her, but the energy all around her compelled her to quit and move on. 

If you listen to your instincts and your energy, your gut will tell you when it’s time to move on. Many of us know it’s time to quit something a long time before we take any action. We go into denial and avoid our feelings and sensations. 

Think of a relationship that has soured; our energy dips around this person. Consider the job you have outgrown; you likely dread going to work and feel relieved at the end of each day. 

Listen to your energy. It will tell you when it’s time to quit. 

2. Consider the consequences of not quitting

If you are in turmoil at the moment and unsure if you should quit something, take the time to imagine your life if you don’t quit. If you persevere on the same path you are on, will you be happy? 

Many of us kid ourselves that happiness is just around the corner. Those in a struggling relationship sometimes tell themselves that a baby or marriage is the answer! Isn’t that terrifying? 

Consider what your life will look like if you don’t quit. 

For an alcoholic, not quitting alcohol builds a vision of a messy and chaotic future. People undervalued at work can’t imagine a brighter future without quitting.  

If you have done all you can to improve your situation, such as through relationship counseling or speaking to a boss, and things haven’t improved, It’s time to face reality. Things will likely not improve! 

Quit or endue. 

3. Analyze the metrics

If you have metrics available for the thing you are trying to quit, it is helpful to use these to help confirm your decision. Your side hustle may take significantly longer than you can justify when assessing the financial gain. 

Perhaps the deteriorating stats of a blogging hobby, alongside your dip in enthusiasm, are enough to confirm that the time is right to quit. 

The numbers don’t lie. If numbers are available, they are an excellent source for reassurance and to confirm that your decision to quit is emotionally and technically sound. 

If you want to use stats for an area without numbers, you could create a scale of happiness from 1 – 100 to assess your relationship, friendships, and career for now and previous years to get a feel for your true feelings. 

4. Review your health

It took panic attacks and hair loss for my friend to be jolted out of the sleepwalking trance of her unhealthy relationship. 

When we endure hostile situations, our body stores the effect of these. Dr. Gabor Mate draws anecdotal links between mental health and physical ailments in his book When The Body Says No.

Our physical health benefits from our ability to look after our mental health. And this includes recognizing what causes us stress and what brings us joy and learning to honor ourselves. 

If your health is suffering, it’s worth considering if there are aspects of your life you need to quit. 

5. Know anxiety and relief are normal

Sometimes just deciding to quit something can bring us an enormous sense of relief. That is a clear sign that the time is right and we are on the correct path. 

When I decided to close my small business after 5 years, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. While I had not taken steps yet to act on this closure, the sense of relief confirmed that this was the right time to quit. 

It is normal to feel anxious about quitting something, but imagine the relief that will come. 

Similarly, when I finally decided to end an unhappy romantic relationship, I felt relieved. Once we have made the difficult decision, we replace our anxiety with relief, and we can initiate the closure process.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up 

Knowing when to quit is a skill. For most of us, this conundrum is riddled with anxiety and fear. If we follow the 5 tips to know when to quit, we can maximize our happiness and minimize our exposure to negativity. 

Have you recently quit anything? How did you know the time was right? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Ways to Know When to Quit (Without Giving Up Early) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

This is a question I’ve struggled with personally for decades. While living in a world wearing rose-colored glasses definitely has its appeal, I’m learning that not being honest with yourself comes at the cost of living up to your full potential. And if we shy away from the truth, we miss out on the chance to learn and grow.

If you’re ready to start being honest with yourself, then reading this article will give you clear steps for how you can embrace your truth.

Why should you be honest with yourself?

I read that statement and think to myself, “This really isn’t a question we should have to ask.”. But I’m human. And I like it when science can persuade me to do the things I know I should be doing.

Researchers found that individuals who prioritized honesty and integrity had healthier and longer lifespans. They also discovered that these two factors were predictors of your mental and physical well-being.

If improved health isn’t enough to convince you to be honest with yourself, you may also be curious to know that research indicates honesty with oneself is related to a greater sense of fulfillment in an individual’s career.

If being honest with ourselves results in a longer life where we enjoy our work, then it becomes awfully hard to build a case for continuing to remain dishonest.

Dishonesty with yourself comes at a cost

So we know that being honest has a whole slew of benefits, but what did researchers actually find when it comes to the effects of dishonesty?

A study in 2015 demonstrated that dishonesty results in increased cortisol reactivity. And consequently, your blood pressure and heart rate will increase. This can negatively impact your overall health, especially if you are living in a state of consistent dishonesty that chronically elevates these vital signs.

Beyond science, all I have to do is recall the times I have not been honest with myself and remember how that made me feel. Being dishonest with yourself simply does not feel good.

I have lost sleep. I have thrown up and broken out in hives. All because I simply would not face my truth.

The cost of dishonesty with yourself is far too high. And with inflation increasing, the last thing I’m looking to do is add another expense to my list.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 ways to start being honest with yourself

When we create habitual thought patterns, it can be overwhelming to try to figure out how to break the cycle. So let’s dive in and give you some guidance on how you can start to live in a state of full transparency with yourself.

1. Stop putting off dreams until tomorrow

Perhaps the biggest lie I have told myself over and over again is that I am not worthy of my dreams. The second biggest lie is that “I can always start to chase that dream tomorrow”.

In my life, I have become far too accustomed to that little voice in my head that keeps me from really “going for it”. I come up with excuse after excuse for not pursuing my dreams.

It took me 5 years before I was comfortable sharing my writing publicly with others. I told myself lies like, “You’re not good enough”. “No one wants to read what you have to write”.

But once I got honest with myself, I realized that these weren’t my actual fears. What I was really afraid of was writing a piece and having someone close to me find it laughable. I was afraid of being made fun of for pursuing my creative craft.

That was 5 years of my life that I didn’t pursue my passion because I wasn’t honest with myself. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Be honest about what’s holding you back and start chasing that dream now.

2. Own up to your mistakes

Now this one stings. Just reading that subtitle makes me slightly uncomfortable.

But living an authentic life means taking responsibility for the good and the bad that you do. If you avoid the truth and act as though you did nothing, this often places you in a worse position than if you had owned up to your mistake.

I remember I was deathly afraid of owning up to a mistake I made at work. I literally lost sleep over this mistake and kept telling myself that it was better to just let time do its thing instead of admitting it was my fault.

Many sleep-deprived nights later, I finally made the decision that I had to tell my boss about my slip-up. And guess what? My boss was insanely kind and understanding about the whole thing.

Here I was consuming excessive amounts of caffeine to make up for a lack of sleep over not owning up to a mistake my boss didn’t even flinch at. While I know not every situation will end with this happy ending, I can attest to the relief of being honest and owning your mistakes.

If you want more tips, here’s our article on how to take responsibility for your actions.

3. Don’t shrug off your feelings

Yes, we are going to talk about your feelings. Because in today’s society of half-hearted “I’m fine” answers, the least we can do is actually be honest with ourselves about our feelings.

When you constantly avoid how you are feeling, the feeling only amplifies. This is because your emotions are designed to be action signals.

So if you ignore the signal over and over again, eventually it will get so loud that you have to listen. And this is when you can experience a full-on nervous breakdown or panic attack if you’re me.

Trust me on this one, being honest and admitting what you’re feeling is the first step to starting to change that emotion to the one you actually want to be feeling.

So instead of stuffing your feelings deep down, have the courage to honestly face them and listen to what they want to tell you.

Here are more tips on how to be more in touch with your emotions.

4. Realize you don’t know everything (and that’s okay)

I had to take my know-it-all hat off and put it in the closet for this one. I’m only half-joking.

Sometimes we are not being honest with ourselves about what we don’t know. And this is when imposter syndrome can really start to creep in.

But what is not discussed is the power that can come from admitting that you don’t know it all. Embracing a growth mindset typically causes more people to be drawn to you and want to engage with what you have to offer because they know you’re not trying to schmooze them over.

When I was first starting to practice as a PT, I thought I had to appear flawlessly confident and have all the answers for the patient in front of me. Through trial and error, I learned that being honest with both myself and my patient about what I did not know actually fostered a better relationship between us.

When we were able to grow together and find answers together, they understood that I was really invested in their care. So maybe it’s time that we put the know-it-all cap in storage. Or better yet, throw it away.

Being more honest about the things you don’t know also helps you overcome the Dunning-Kruger effect.

5. Find a loved one to give you honest feedback

If you really can’t seem to find a way to be honest with yourself, then it’s time to find a trusted loved one to tell you how it really is.

This means you need someone who is not afraid to “hurt your feelings” and cares enough to be authentically raw with their feedback.

This one can be tough to implement. Remember that story about me not wanting to share my writing publicly? Well, let me tell you another piece of the story.

After realizing that I was really afraid of people making fun of me for my writing, I still didn’t have the full courage to just jump in. I asked my best friend to give me truthful feedback about what I should do.

She prefaced her feedback with an, “Are you sure you really want to know?” statement. At that point, I knew I needed to brace myself for what came next.

She told me that I was wasting away my life if I wasn’t going after what really inspires me. She said being afraid of what others think is the lamest excuse on planet earth for not pursuing something you love.

And that did it. I got honest with myself and started sharing my writing.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

It’s time to tell the truth. Not just to others, but to the person you’re stuck with for life: yourself. While starting to be honest with yourself can be a bit brutal at first, the limitless possibilities that come from pursuing your most authentic self are well worth the initial discomfort. And as cliche as it may sound, I know you will find that the truth really does set you free.

Are you completely honest with yourself? Or do you find it hard to live authentically and face the truth at all times? I’d love to hear what you think in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 5 Real Ways to be More Honest With Yourself (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.