I have wasted way too many years of my life being that person. But the reality is your life is happening here and now amidst the mundane. When you truly wake up and make an intentional effort to make the day count, you start to feel like you are fully alive and present in the moment. And you begin to realize that by making every single day count, you are putting yourself that much closer to achieving your goals.

If you’re ready to stop pressing snooze on your life experience, dive into this article to learn some tips to help you make today one for the memory books.

Why you should focus on today

It’s easy to think that today is just another day. And then spend your free time thinking about your weekend or all the tomorrows that are full of way more fun plans than today.

Trust me, I get it. I’m human and there are days when I tell myself to just get through the day.

But the research indicates that if we can become more present and mindful of the present moment, we will be better able to cope with any stressors that do come our way and we will experience greater levels of positivity.

And a study from 2017 found that being present in the moment is an evidence-based way to boost your psychological health.

I don’t know about you, but I sure could use all the help I can get when it comes to being better at dealing with stress and improving my mental health. And science makes a pretty strong case that I ought to be focusing on the present and make today count.

What happens when you always think about tomorrow

When you are constantly focusing on what tomorrow holds and living in a state of distraction, you lose your ability to enjoy today.

Not convinced? Well, let’s look at what the science says then.

A study from 2016 found that individuals who were more mindful and present were able to better regulate their mood than individuals who did not embrace mindfulness.

So if you’re in a funk in life, the solution might be starting to become present in the here and now.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

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What does it mean to make today count?

To “make today count” means to use your time in a meaningful, productive, or fulfilling way so that at the end of the day, you feel that you’ve achieved something significant or made the most of your time.

This concept focuses on the importance of the present moment and encourages actions and mindsets that contribute positively to your life and the lives of others.

7 ways to make today count

Now we know that all those cheesy signs in your mom’s living room that say, “Make today the best day ever!” aren’t totally full of crap. So let’s dive into how you can actually make today the best day ever.

1. Spend time with the people you love

One of the best ways to make today feel more worthwhile is to prioritize spending time with the people in your life who mean the most to you.

It is so darn easy to fill up your day with meaningless activities that leave you feeling drained and exhausted. But when was the last time you spent quality time with your spouse or best friend and found yourself saying afterward, “Wow – what a waste of time”?

I hope the answer is never. And if it’s not, you’ll have to read a separate article to figure out what’s going on there.

Every time I have a date night planned with my husband or I grab a coffee with a close friend, I feel like it brightens my day and helps me enjoy the moment.

2. Choose your attitude

I used to be a bratty teenager who hated when my mom would tell me I needed to change my attitude. My gut reaction was always to say something along the lines of, “Don’t tell me what to do!”.

But here is one of my millions of formal apologies to my mother because once again, she was right.

If you want to make today count, the best advice I can offer is to change your attitude.

Everything that happens to you today can be happening for you or happening to you. If you actively embrace an attitude that life is happening for you, then no matter what comes your way today you can experience joy and make the best of it.

This also ties in with our advice on how to not live life as a victim!

3. Take the next step towards your goal

Sometimes the reason we dread the day ahead is we’re not taking steps towards our goals.

There was a period in my life a few years back when I thought that setting and working towards goals was overrated. And when I look back on this period of my life, this is a time when I struggled to get out of bed in the morning and just trudged my way through each day.

Whether or not you like goals, the truth is that goals help give you a sense of purpose. And when you have purpose and feel like you are contributing to developing yourself or helping others, you are inclined to want to make the most of every day.

This doesn’t mean you have to take a massive step towards your goal. Some days my steps towards my goals look as simple as bringing coffee from home instead of picking it up on the way to work because I want to save money to help pay off my student loans.

4. Give back

I can’t be more positive about this one tip. If you’re going to ignore all the other tips, that’s fine, but please don’t ignore this one.

Giving back in just about any way is an incredible way to not only make today count but also to totally shift your mood and outlook on life.

Whenever I get in a funk, I try to make it a point to sign up to go volunteer at my local food bank that Saturday. It never fails that after I leave there, I feel a sense of renewed hope and gratitude.

And if ultimately we all want to leave the world a better place, then I can’t think of a better way to make today count than giving back in whatever way you can.

5. Have something you look forward to each day

This one is particularly helpful for me when it comes to those times when I feel like I am in a slump with work.

Having something simple to look forward to each day helps me to remember that even weekdays are meaningful and that all the fun doesn’t have to be bottled up for the weekend.

Here are some examples of things or activities I will plan to make sure I have a little something to look forward to:

• Choosing a type of exercise I enjoy to do that day.
• Planning to take my dog to the park.
• Baking cookies in the evening.
• Having a specific movie picked out to watch that evening.
• Setting up a time to catch up with a friend in person or one the phone.
• Trying out a new evening class involving a fun hobby.
• Going for a short hike and spending time in the sun.

My list might sound lame or boring to you. And that’s why you have to create your own list. 

But make it a priority to have some little nugget of joy that you can look forward to each day of the week.

6. Practice mindful eating

Engaging in mindful eating is a powerful way to make today count. This involves being fully present during meals, savoring each bite, and acknowledging the flavors and textures of your food. It’s about turning a daily necessity into a moment of mindfulness and gratitude.

Start by eliminating distractions during meals – no phones, no TV, just you and your meal. Focus on the experience of eating: notice the colors on your plate, the aroma of the food, and how each bite tastes.

By making mealtime a mindful practice, you transform an ordinary part of your day into an extraordinary moment of presence and appreciation.

7. Declutter your space

The state of our physical environment can greatly influence our mental well-being. Taking the time to declutter and organize your living or working space can make today more productive and fulfilling.

Begin with a small, manageable area – your desk, a drawer, or a shelf. As you sort through items, ask yourself if each one brings value to your life. If not, consider donating or discarding it. This process of decluttering is not just about creating physical space but also about letting go of the unnecessary.

An organized space can lead to an organized mind, helping you focus better on your tasks and goals. Plus, the act of decluttering can be incredibly satisfying, giving you a sense of accomplishment that carries through the rest of your day.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

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Wrapping up

You don’t have to keep pressing the snooze button when it comes to living your life. You can make today count by implementing a few of the tips mentioned in this article. And when you make today count, you might find that you start to look forward to your alarm clock going off each morning.

What do you think? Do you find it hard to make every day count? Do you have a favorite tip that you would like to share with others? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 7 Simple Ways to Make Today Count (with Meaningful Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

While you can’t just snap your fingers and use magic to get your mind off something, there are some clever and simple things you can do that will help you forget about the thoughts that are creating chaos in your head. How do we know? Because a handful of studies have found the most effective ways to get your mind off something.

In this article, I want to share the best tips with you, so that you can get your mind at ease and focus on the things that make you happy again!

How worrying affects your (mental) health

Before diving into the actual tips to get your mind off something, I want to discuss some of the science of worrying.

As mentioned in the introduction, it’s believed that we have around 6,000 thoughts per day. If only the negative thoughts get stuck in your head, you’ll be less likely to be happy. Having a negative thought stuck in your head on a constant loop is also known as numeration (here’s an entire article about how to stop ruminating).

This study found that having negative thoughts stuck in your head is associated with a greater likelihood of experiencing both a current depressive episode. The study also found that the same behavior correlated with greater severity and duration of depressive episodes. 

Even more shocking, the results of a 2012 study showed that ruminating over negative thoughts was associated with volume reductions in brain areas that have been related to cognitive control processes. This also plays a major role in depression. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

If this wasn’t enough, a 2012 review found that there is a relationship between ruminative thinking and impaired physical health.

Long story short, if you struggle with a constant stream of negative thoughts, you want to do all you can to deal with this.

9 ways to get your mind off something

Worrying about negativity and ruminating can feel mentally exhausting. But you don’t have to focus all your energy on blocking your stream of thoughts. Instead, try to divert your energy to things that are easier to control.

Here are 9 ways to get your mind off something negative.

1. Simply distract yourself

One of the more interesting studies we’ve encountered over the years is from Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert. The study used random surveys to find that a wandering mind is more likely to be an unhappy mind.

In other words, if you are not busy actually doing something, your mind starts to wander. As a result, your mind is more likely to get stuck on something negative.

You can prevent this from happening by just distracting yourself. Try to come up with different distraction activities that you can use in different settings: some that you can use at work, some you can use while out and about, and some for those late-night thoughts in bed. 

Ideally, you want to find something that will occupy your mind and take up enough brainpower so that there’s no more room for the ruminative thought spiral. Some examples might include:

• Playing a game (I find Tetris to be a great distraction).
• Reading a book.
• Watching a movie/video.
• Solving a crossword or sudoku.
• Talk to a friend or loved one (but try to avoid co-rumination).
• Exercise.

If you need help finding new things to try, here’s an article we published with a list full of new things to try in your life.

2. Make yourself laugh

Do you know how they say that laughter is the best medicine in the world?

You may know this already, but there’s actual science backing this up. Laughing releases happiness hormones – specifically endorphins – that are one of the main reasons behind our feelings of happiness.

By making yourself laugh, you’ll experience a couple of benefits:

• Your mind will be occupied by something positive (see the previous tip to see why that’s a good thing!)
• The process of laughing stimulates your mind in a positive way, which makes it easier for you to deal with any negativity.

This last point was confirmed in a fun study by Barbara Frederickson. The study found that a positive mindset can be triggered, and more importantly, that a positive mindset initiates more creativity and an urge to “play ball”. Basically, when you have a positive mindset, you’re better able to deal with the challenges that life throws at you.

3. Try to question whatever thought is on your mind

Questioning your own thoughts might sound a little crazy. However, not all of our thoughts are helpful, so taking your internal monologue with a healthy dose of doubt is perfectly reasonable. In fact, one of the best questions to ask when you find yourself ruminating is: “Is this thought helpful?”

If it isn’t, why should you keep repeating it?

Other helpful questions include:

• What proof do I have that this thought is true or false?
• If my friend was in the same situation and thought the same way, what would I say to them?
• What are some alternative explanations for this situation?
• Will this matter one day from now? What about in one week, or a month?

4. Write about what’s on your mind

One of our favorite pieces of advice to our readers is to write about whatever’s keeping you down.

Grab a piece of paper, write the date on top, and start writing down every negative thought that’s on your mind. Here are some of the benefits you’ll experience by doing this:

• Writing down your issues forces you to actually confront them in a structured way.
• It allows you to better deconstruct the issues without getting your thoughts distracted.
• Writing something down can prevent it from causing chaos in your head. Think of this as clearing the RAM memory of your computer. If you’ve written it down, you can safely forget about it and start with an empty slate.
• It allows you to look back at your struggles objectively. In a few months’ time, you can look back at your notepad and see how much you’ve grown.

5. Actively seek a solution for what’s on your mind

One of the dangers of having something stuck in your mind is that it feels like you’re trying to solve a problem by going over it again and again. However, you won’t find a solution by reliving negative thoughts and feelings. 

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is consciously turn your attention to finding a solution. You can simply try brainstorming solutions and weighing their pros and cons, but if you need a more structured approach, we recommend this problem-solving worksheet from Therapist Aid.

6. Talk to a friend

Have you ever talked to a friend about one of your problems, only to figure out the underlying cause and how to fix it all by yourself?

This is because although it may seem like we think in sentences, our thoughts are usually more like a messy word cloud. Add emotions into the mix and you’ve got a perfect mess. By putting these thoughts into words and saying them out loud, you are creating some order in the mess, and voilà – clarity!

(This is also why journaling is such a great tool that can help you deal with a problem.)

Talking to a good friend about what’s on your mind is often a great way to move on. Even if you don’t figure out how to get something off your mind, you’ll at least find comfort in knowing that there’s a person out there who cares about you.

7. Seek counseling or therapy

As we mentioned already, having a negative thought stuck in your head for too long can lead to serious issues such as depression. Therefore, it’s important to take this seriously. If you just can’t seem to get something off your mind, it’s a good idea to consider therapy.

A therapist or counselor can help you look at your problem from a new perspective. When you’ve thought about something for a long time, it may seem that you have thought about every aspect of it. In reality, however, there can be parts of the problem that you are unconsciously ignoring and a professional can help you shed light on those areas.

More often than not, these problems are easy to spot for a person that is looking from the “outside-in”, instead of your personal “inside-out” point of view.

8. Embrace the power of mindfulness

The art of mindfulness is more than just a trend; it’s a transformative practice that teaches you to anchor yourself in the present. By immersing yourself in the now, you can observe your thoughts without being consumed by them.

This detachment allows you to recognize negative patterns and gently steer your mind away, fostering a sense of calm and clarity.

To start with mindfulness, find a serene spot and sit in a relaxed posture. Focus on your breathing, feeling the rhythm of each inhale and exhale. If your thoughts drift, which they often will, gently guide your focus back to your breath.

Starting with short sessions and gradually extending them can make the practice more approachable. If you need more tips, we’ve got an entire article about mindfulness here.

9. Dive into the world of creativity

Tapping into your creative side can be a therapeutic escape from persistent negative thoughts. Engaging in artistic endeavors, be it drawing, writing, or even cooking, offers a refreshing distraction and a channel for self-expression.

As you immerse yourself in these activities, not only do you divert from troubling thoughts, but you also experience the joy of creation.

If you’re pondering where to begin, think about picking up a forgotten hobby or exploring a new one. Mastery isn’t the aim here; it’s about relishing the creative journey. Y

ou might consider sketching, penning down your thoughts in a journal, trying your hand at a musical instrument, or experimenting with culinary delights. The essence is to discover an activity that resonates with you and let your imagination soar.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Having something negative stuck on your mind can keep you from living your best life. Dwelling on this negativity can lead to serious issues such as depression, which is why it’s important to know how to get something off your mind. I hope these tips will help you achieve clarity in your mind so that you can focus your energy on happier thoughts.

Do you ever have something stuck in your mind? What’s your best way to deal with lingering on a negative thought? I’d love to hear about your experiences on this topic in the comments below!

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post 9 Ways to Get Your Mind Off Something (and Why it Matters) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

When we are distressed, we are usually in ‘autopilot’ mode. We are not aware of what is happening in the present moment, but automatically stress over past events, or predict future events. Being present in the moment helps you to interrupt the automatic thoughts that come when you are in autopilot mode. Bringing our focus to the present may help with reducing distressing moods and thoughts.

This article will explore what it means to be present, why it is so integral to our well-being, and provide some tips that you can integrate into your life to focus on the present.

What does it mean to be present?

Being present in the moment means enhancing your awareness of what is happening right now, and letting it happen without judgment. When we think of staying present, we often think of mindfulness, which is the state of being conscious or aware of something.  

Mindfulness and meditation expert James Baraz says being present means the following:

Being present is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the present without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).

James Baraz

When we are in the present moment, we are fully aware of the current situation without letting internal thoughts take us to another place. This does not mean that we must be present all the time. In fact, being present all the time is not realistic and would be quite difficult.

However, it does mean that we can enhance our ability to remain present, and this can be particularly useful during moments of distress.

Why is being present so important?

Staying in the present moment can play a significant role in staying happy and healthy. Studies show that being present can help with symptoms of anxiety and depression.

A meta-analytic review of the effects of mindfulness-based therapy on depression and anxiety shows that mindfulness-based therapy is an effective intervention for treating anxiety and mood issues.

The authors highlight:

Experiencing the present moment nonjudgmentally and openly can effectively counter the effects of stressors because excessive orientation toward the past or future when dealing with stressors can be related to feelings of depression and anxiety.

Another study showed similar findings, illustrating that being present in the moment helps to reduce worrying, rumination, and mood issues.

Sometimes when we are in autopilot mode, certain negative thinking patterns can become a habit, and it becomes easier to get trapped in such patterns of thinking. By becoming more aware of our feelings, body sensations, and thoughts in the present moment, we can avoid falling into automatic patterns of thinking that may worsen our mood.

Being present is integral to our well-being as it can help us to cope with difficult life events and daily stressors. A 2016 study found that present-moment awareness is associated with enhanced responses to daily stress and stressful events in the future. Additionally, a study from 2020 explored the benefits of meditation and mindfulness during times of crisis such as COVID-19. The authors demonstrate that meditation and mindfulness techniques can offer a helpful way to cope with change, uncertainty, and crisis. 

The pandemic has changed so much of our daily lives and caused additional fear, anxiety, and depression among the general population. With so many circumstances beyond our control, practicing being in the present moment without fear of the future or ruminations about the past can help us to cope with difficult circumstances beyond our control.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What are some ways to be more present?

Being present at the moment takes time and practice. Below are four things we can do to increase the present moments in our lives.

1. Try a mindfulness meditation

Mindfulness meditation involves paying attention to your thoughts and sensations without judgment. There are several types of mindfulness meditations you can try, both on your own or guided by an instructor.

An example of a mindfulness meditation exercise you can do alone is a ‘five senses scan’. Pay attention to your senses; sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Notice what you see around you, what it tastes and smells like (even if it smells/ tastes like nothing), notice the sensation of touch in your environment and the noises you hear. If there are thoughts interrupting this exercise do not judge or fight them.

Allow them to happen and then let them pass through. This exercise brings you to the present moment and may help to calm your mind.

If you prefer a guided mindfulness meditation there are many resources online, including this 10-minute meditation. Mindfulness meditation can take patience and time to master, so try and integrate this practice into your life as much as possible. You can start with once a week, and gradually work your way up to daily practice.

2. Take a break from social media

In today’s day and age, our lives heavily rely on or involve social media. You may receive constant notifications throughout the day, making it difficult to live in the present moment. It’s also one of the primary reasons we compare ourselves to others (which is not a good idea).

Avoiding social media altogether can be difficult, and not possible for some. However, limiting social media time, even if it is just taking a short 10-minute break can help you to stay in the present moment, and reconnect with the here and now.

3. Enjoy the present moment

We spend so much time looking forward to something that may happen in the future or worrying about things that have happened in the past. It is easier for us to stress over unpleasant events than to appreciate the good things that happen. 

Enjoying the present moment can be as simple as appreciating the feeling of the sun on your skin, getting coffee with a close friend, or even a stranger smiling at you. When you pay attention to pleasant events happening at the moment it can help to balance our emotions and let go of distractions such as negative thoughts and feelings.

4. Interrupt rumination cycles as they happen

Rumination involves repetitively focusing on feelings of distress or negative thoughts. When we are ruminating, we are often fixating on problems, emotions, or experiences, without taking action to address the issue at hand. Interrupting rumination cycles as they happen can help us to stay present and reconnect with what is happening in the here and now. Here’s an article that specifically helps you deal with rumination.

It does not mean that the issue will be resolved and that our negative emotions will magically disappear. However, it does allow us to take a step back from the cycle of rumination and calm the negative emotions. When you feel a sense of calmness or relaxation it is easier to address the situation that led to the rumination in the first place.

If you are interested in learning some helpful tips to stop ruminating, check out this article! 

5. Engage in creative activities

Finding a sanctuary in creative activities can be a refreshing way to anchor ourselves in the present. Whether it’s painting a canvas with vibrant hues, crafting a piece of pottery, or penning down a poem, immersing oneself in a creative endeavor can be a gateway to experiencing the richness of the moment.

It’s not about creating a masterpiece, but about enjoying the process, feeling the materials in your hands, and expressing yourself freely.

The key is to be fully engaged in the activity, letting your senses soak in the experience without judgment. If thoughts about the past or future start to creep in, gently bring your focus back to the task at hand. Over time, you might find that these creative sessions become a cherished oasis of presence and joy in your routine.

6. Outdoor activities and nature walks

Nature has a magical way of grounding us in the present moment. The simple act of stepping outside and immersing ourselves in the natural world can be a potent antidote to the stresses of modern life.

The rustle of leaves, the fragrance of blooming flowers, and the sight of fluttering butterflies can be simple yet profound reminders to slow down and savor the present.

To make the most of this, plan regular outings where you can be in close contact with nature. Leave your gadgets at home or switch them off to avoid distractions. As you walk, make a conscious effort to notice the details around you – the texture of bark, the pattern of leaves, the songs of birds. You might even carry a journal to jot down your observations or sketch the scenes you encounter.

This practice not only fosters a deeper connection with the present moment but also nurtures a sense of wonder and appreciation for the natural world.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Learning to live in the moment requires us to slow down and appreciate the here and now. It can take time, patience, and energy, but in the end, the benefits you can experience by being present are worth the effort. Start small; try one of the tips in this article, and then work your way up to establishing a daily routine that incorporates strategies to increase your ability to stay present.

What’s your take on trying to be more present in life? Do you find it hard to enjoy the present without worrying about anything else? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Jessie Faber Author

Writer, athlete, social worker, and professional thrift shopper. Born in Canada, but currently living my dream playing professional soccer in Greece. Passionate about mental health advocacy, sewing, singing, and playing guitar.

The post 6 Actionable Ways to Be More Present (Backed by Science) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Living life in a constant state of hurry is a recipe for burnout and dissatisfaction. The antidote to a life of rushing is to learn the art of slow and intentional living. But how do you actually do this and stop rushing through life?

If you’re ready to trade in a rushed mentality for a life where you can stop to smell the roses, then this article is for you. We will detail realistic steps you can take to slow down and enjoy your life.

Why we live in a rushed society

I used to think that I was the only one who felt this constant pressure to rush around in life. I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn’t slow down.

Turns out that a research study found that 26% of women and 21% of men report feeling rushed. If you feel rushed all the time, clearly you are not alone.

Why is it that we feel so rushed? I’m afraid the answer isn’t so simple.

But I have certainly noticed in recent years that we are a culture that glorifies “the hustle”. The more productive you are in our society, the more praise you tend to receive.

This creates a feedback loop where we keep rushing to get more done. As a result, I think most of us have forgotten what it means to be present.

Effects of living rushed

Rushing around incessantly has become so commonplace that it’s now a condition called “hurry sickness”. It’s when you cannot stop hurrying in life no matter what.

This type of “sickness” may sound benign. But researchers have discovered that individuals who are constantly living with a sense of urgency are at a higher risk for developing hypertension.

The effects of rushing around go beyond just your physical health though. They can impact how you interact with the world around you.

Research revealed that individuals who were hurrying were less likely to stop and help a victim. This totally shocked me!

By rushing around, we might develop into more self-absorbed individuals. That information alone is enough to make me want to slow down.

Slowing down may be the most beneficial thing you can do for both your personal character and your physical well-being.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

7 ways to stop rushing in life

You can start to cure your “hurry-sickness” by incorporating these 5 actionable tips today.

1. Prepare the night before

There are times in life when I realize I am rushing around because I did not adequately prepare.

The simplest way I’ve found to combat this is to make a physical to-do list the night before a busy day. By making a to-do list, I can mentally prepare myself for the tasks ahead.

Sometimes I go so far as to visualize myself doing the tasks calmly and succeeding before I go to sleep.

I also make sure that my mornings are not rushed. I proactively have my coffee grounds ready to go and my work clothes laid out. These simple steps help shave off mental stress from my morning.

If you know you have a big task ahead of you or need to coordinate your schedule, take the time the night before. This will help you sleep better that night, too!

2. Plan mini-breaks

If you feel like you can’t stop to breathe during your day, you need to build in what I call “mini-breaks”.

For me, this looks like taking two minutes between my patients to just sit and do deep breathing. Other times, it looks like planning a 5-10 minute walk in the middle of my workday.

If you know you’re not likely to take a break, use tip number one and put mini breaks on your to-do list.

It may sound like it would be counterproductive, but taking breaks allows you to be more productive and fight the rush.

Be sure to sprinkle your own personal flavor of joy into your breaks to help you fight the burnout caused by hurry.

3. Get rid of the “extras”

Rushing can also be the result of doing too many things all the time. It’s logical, yet so many of us say “yes” to too many things.

When I find myself rushing so much that I can’t think straight anymore, I know it’s time to start saying “no”.

A few months ago, I felt like my cup was spilling over between work and my social life. I was so rushed that I felt like there was never enough time.

After my husband told me I had to take a chill pill, I started to say no. I said no to taking on extra work. I said no to social events on nights when I was tired.

By getting rid of the extra, I granted myself time to fill my cup back up. When I had a semblance of balance back, I didn’t feel that sense of constant urgency that was burning me out.

It’s okay to cut out the extras in your life so that you can abandon the constant feeling of being rushed.

4. Give yourself reminders

I am someone who naturally runs with all cylinders on. It’s not natural for me to move slowly with anything in life.

Because I am acutely aware of my nature, I know I need consistent reminders to stop rushing. I set reminders on my phone for every few hours that say “slow down” and “be where your feet are”.

It may sound silly, but having this physical reminder cues me to not get lost in the chaos of the day.

Your reminder doesn’t have to be on your phone. Maybe it’s hanging a sign on your desk. Or maybe you get a trendy sticker reminder for your water bottle.

Whatever it is, just make sure that you interact with it daily. Reminding yourself to slow down is what will make it become a habit.

5. Ground yourself with your surroundings

One of my favorite new practices for fighting my inherent need to hustle 24/7 is grounding.

Grounding is where you go barefoot in nature. You intentionally spend time feeling your feet connect to the earth.

Yes, I am aware this may sound like the most hippy-dippy thing ever. But don’t knock it until you try it.

Every time I take my shoes off and just feel the earth below me, I naturally slow down. It’s a mindfulness practice that I swear by for helping me be present.

If you can’t seem to find your rhythm in your day, take off your shoes outside. It only takes a minute, but it’s one minute that can completely ward off the hurry sickness.

6. Practice meditation

In the midst of our hectic lives, it’s easy to lose sight of the present moment. We often find ourselves either ruminating about the past or worrying about the future.

This is where the practice of meditation comes into play. It’s a simple yet effective way to anchor ourselves in the now, appreciating life as it unfolds, moment by moment. You don’t need to be a seasoned meditator to start; even just a few minutes each day can make a significant difference.

To integrate this practice into your daily routine, start by finding a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed. Sit comfortably and focus on your breath, noticing the sensation of air as it enters and leaves your nostrils. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your focus back to your breath. You might also explore guided meditations available on various apps and websites to help you get started.

Remember, the goal is not to eliminate thoughts but to learn to observe them without judgment. As you cultivate this habit, you’ll find yourself becoming more centered and less caught up in the daily rush.

7. Develop a gratitude journal

Developing a gratitude journal is a beautiful practice that encourages us to slow down and acknowledge the goodness that surrounds us. It’s a small step that fosters positivity and a greater appreciation for life, steering us away from the perpetual race against time.

To begin this nurturing practice, set aside a few minutes each day to jot down things you are grateful for. It could be as simple as a warm cup of coffee in the morning or a kind gesture from a stranger.

Make it a ritual, perhaps at the start or end of your day, to reflect on these moments of joy and gratitude. You’ll soon notice a shift in your perspective, where you start valuing the present more than constantly chasing the future.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Your days do not have to be spent living with your foot on the gas pedal 24/7. Use the steps from this article to put on your brakes. Because when you put on the brakes, you just may find that you enjoy the life that surrounds you that much more.

Would you say you lived a rushed life right now? What’s your favorite tip to stop rushing through life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 7 Tips to Stop Rushing Through Life (And Take Things Slow) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

It turns out that multitasking is not as good as we think it is. It may feel like we are being super-efficient, but we’re not. The key to efficient productivity and quality lies in the detail. This can only be attained when we give our full focus to one thing at a time. 

I’m here to tell you all about the incredible things that happen when you learn to focus your mind on one thing. I will include 5 easy tips for you to get started. I just need a few minutes of your undivided attention.

Why is it important to focus on one thing?

In general, we can’t excel in everything we do. We need to narrow down and focus on one thing at a time.

Interestingly enough, science tells us that when we decide to do something, such as quit smoking, or get fitter, our success is greater when we set out a specific intention.

We must say out loud or write down our intentions. This must include what we are going to do, at what time, and on what date.  

However, here is the catch. We must focus on one thing at a time. James Clear, the author of the renowned book Atomic Habits, tells us that “people who tried to accomplish multiple goals were less committed and less likely to succeed than those who focused on a single goal.”

So, no more long lists of new year’s resolutions. Decide on one thing to focus on and master it. 

The impact of a chaotic mind

If my mind had its way, it would take a full-on scattergun approach to life. And truthfully, it’s exhausting. Friends used to marvel at how much I squeezed into life. But if I’m honest, I was in a perpetual state of anxiety. I had a gnawing dread that everything was going to cave in around me. And my results were always pretty average. Can you relate to this? 

When I don’t set myself up for optimum focus, I suffer from a chaotic mind. A chaotic mind is the exact opposite of a focused mind.  A chaotic mind has no focus. It is like a circus ride. It bumps around like dodgems and it spins us in circles like a merry-go-round. 

A chaotic mind leaves us feeling anxious and reduces our productivity. Perhaps most worryingly, this article suggests we will never feel joy, contentment, satisfaction, and even love if we live life with a chaotic mind. 

But, it isn’t all bad. New evidence suggests that a chaotic mind is also a creative mind. Just be careful here, as this can be exhausting in the long run. We still want to try and focus on one thing at a time. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

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5 ways we can help focus on one thing 

Focusing on one thing at a time is not as easy as it sounds. We are living in a time with information overload around every corner. We are constantly connected to devices. And more often than not our internal noise is louder than our external noise. 

Here are 5 tips to help you focus your mind on one thing at a time. 

1. Create a priority list  

Before you can focus on one thing at a time, you need to know what to prioritize. This is where lists can come in handy. In fact, studies have found that people who create to-do lists are more successful than people who don’t. 

Not all lists are made equal. It’s important to make things achievable. For instance, you could have a list of complex things you need to achieve and a list of simple things you need to achieve. So, you can weigh each item based on its complexity. Also, each item will have a different completion time scale. 

From here, you can create priority lists and allocate a few different tasks per day and per week.

What really helped me is the habit of writing a list of what I have actually achieved each day. This helps me learn to focus on my accomplishments and feel satisfied, instead of dwelling on that overwhelming sensation when I realize how much you still have to do. 

2. Take regular breaks

Think of the learning environment we have created for children. What do you notice? Did it occur to you that they have regular breaks? Perhaps most significantly, pupils in high school usually only study for an hour at a time before changing to the next class. 

However, our adult world requires us to spend multiple hours at a time working on a task. But this can be ineffective, as breaks are crucial in order to remain focused.

I appreciate this may seem counterintuitive if we have a deadline fast approaching. But breaks are an essential part of facilitating our focus and maintaining high work productivity.

This article confirms that brief diversions improve focus. In reality, this may be as simple as working for 50 minutes and then taking 5 minutes to do some stretches, get a glass of water or listen to a song. Anything to break your attention from the task at hand. This refreshes your brain and recharges it to focus again.

3. Minimize distractions  

There’s a reason distractions are kept to a minimum in high-pressure situations. Think of an operating theater or even the deafening silence during a snooker tournament. 

The brain is a clever organ. When we are busy with a task that requires our sight, it reduces our hearing to make it easier for us to focus. Let’s take the hint and work with our brains to make things easier for us.  

As I write this, my partner is busy shoveling gravel outside. So, I have helped reduce this noise distraction by moving to a different part of the house. I made sure my dog was walked, so he is content and not seeking my attention. My phone is on silent and the radio is off. 

We all have different optimum working environments. If you aren’t too sure what conditions you work best in, start with complete silence. From there you can see if you need gentle background music or if that ticking clock needs to have its batteries removed!

Remember, you can indulge in distractions during your 5-minute break. 

4. Find your flow 

If you have ever experienced a flow state, you will understand exactly how beneficial this can be. According to this article, flow is defined as “a state of mind in which a person becomes fully immersed in an activity”. 

No matter what you do, flow is available for you to tap into. Even in my running, I can find a state of flow. It is meditative and engrossing. It feels incredible. 

Other benefits of flow include: 

• Heightened enjoyment of the task at hand.
• Increase in intrinsic motivation.
• Increase in happiness. 
• Greater learning and progress.
• Increase in self-esteem.

Flow allows us to give our full focus to the task at hand. Time evaporates whilst creativity and productivity flow with abundance. It is the ultimate state to be in if we want to focus on one thing at a time.

5. Adopt healthy habits  

This may sound obvious, but it is hugely important.

If we are exhausted and sleep-deprived, it is difficult to focus. Let alone focus our mind on one thing. If we don’t look after our nutrition or our physical health, our well-being will nose dive. This can then impact our ability to concentrate.

Here are a few healthy habits to pay attention to: 

• Improve your sleep hygiene.
• Exercise.
• Eat a healthy diet with plenty of water.
• Take time each day for yourself.

Sometimes, it is just little tweaks here and there that can make all the difference. 

If you want to know more, here are 7 mental health habits that you can incorporate into your life.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up 

If you are easily distracted, like me, this article should help you learn how to focus your mind on one thing at a time. This will help increase your productivity and satisfaction. Say o goodbye to the harmful consequences of multitasking, and learn to get in the flow by focusing on just one thing at a time.

Do you find it hard to focus your mind on one thing? If you have any other suggestions regarding how we can focus our minds on one thing at a time, I would love to hear them. 

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Tips to Focus Your Mind on One Thing (Based on Studies) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

These are just a few of the questions that can be buzzing through our minds at any given moment. As we all know, life is full of uncertainty, and so it is natural to question things. In fact, it shows that you are intellectual, curious, and analytical. However, we probably both know that questioning everything, all the time, can also make you a little insane. 

How do we stop? How do we know at what point we should stop? (And is this what it feels like to be stuck in an infinite loop of questions?) This is what we’ll be exploring in this article. 

How to know if you’re questioning things too much

It is very healthy to question things to an extent.

Imagine if you felt 100% confident about everything all the time. It would be pretty difficult for people to collaborate with you. You’d be very slow at learning new things. And, you’d probably make a lot of very bad decisions.

So what is the point where it goes too far?

Essentially, it boils down to how it affects your feelings and your life. And I’m guessing if you’re reading this article, you’re already past this point.

But, to clarify, here are some signs you should try to stop questioning things:

• You find it impossible to make decisions because you’re too worried you’ll make the wrong one.
• You feel a constant sense of anxiety because you cannot find answers with certainty.
• It brings about other mental or emotional problems such as extreme insecurity, inability to focus, etc.

If you identify with any of those signs, use the tips below to anchor your thoughts.

6 tips to prevent your brain from questioning everything

I know the feeling of exhaustion when you can’t seem to stop questioning everything. It can be especially hard to pull yourself out of the endless train of questions when you’re in the midst of it. 

So here’s the best strategy. Adopt beliefs and habits that will keep you from questioning in the first place. These first 6 tips will help you do just that. 

1. Recognize that it doesn’t help you

Not to get all meta here, but have you ever wondered why you question everything?

 Constant questioning often stems from some kind of fear, such as: 

• Fear of making mistakes.
• Fear of not knowing.
• Fear of what others might think of you.
• Fear of not looking smart or important. 

Your brain is trying to protect you by foreseeing every possible outcome and avoiding any potential pitfalls. It’s an understandable mechanism, but here’s the problem. There are way too many possible outcomes and pitfalls for your brain to process. It can’t possibly help you prepare for or avoid every single one of them. 

So though there might be a good intention to this mechanism, it doesn’t actually help you. Understanding this opens your mind up to the idea of letting go of it.

2. Understand the reason why you do it

We just saw that there could be several reasons why you question things. Now, it is time to identify exactly which one is true for you.

Because you know it’s not helpful. But it’s also the only tool you have right now to deal with anxiety around uncertainty.

To let go of it, you need to replace it with a better coping mechanism. And for that, you need to know what the exact problem is.

Take note of the instances when you question things excessively. Is it predominantly work-related, tied to your social interactions, or spread across all aspects of your life? Pinpointing the specific domains of questioning can help determine its origins.

I find it most helpful to keep a journal where you can write down all the questions that come up for you. Once you look at them all together, you may recognize some patterns. Try to dig past the questions and into the emotions underlying them. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

3. Take care of your physical needs

Have you noticed that when you’re tired or hungry, it’s harder to think clearly? (Or about anything other than burgers?)

Science has made it pretty clear by now that our mind and body are inextricably linked. 

Several aspects of physical well-being affect your mental health, and specifically how you think. These include:

• What food you eat.
• How much water you drink.
• How well you sleep.
• Whether or not you exercise. 
• How deeply you breathe.
• Any health issues you’re having. 

To give a very practical example, I was writing this section of this article while very hungry. I wanted to at least finish it before taking a break for dinner. But I realized that I was rewriting the same paragraph over and over again because I couldn’t stop questioning the way I wrote it. 

I popped into the burger place next door then got back to writing — and suddenly everything was flowing much more smoothly. I may not be setting the best example for the choice of food, but the main point is this. Your body is the vehicle of your mind, so make sure to take care of it.

4. Learn to be comfortable with uncertainty

When you question things, you’re looking for answers. But not just any answers — ones that give you certainty. 

I hate to be the bearer of bad news… but those answers don’t exist. There are no guarantees in life. If it’s not already in the past, it’s always subject to change. The universe may as well have come with a disclaimer saying “I reserve the right to turn your life upside down, at any moment, no matter how meticulously you planned for something else.” 

So how do we deal with this? The only way we can. Since we cannot change it, we have no choice but to get comfortable with it. 

How? Well, I’m not a master at this yet myself. However, thinking about these ideas has helped me make progress:

• Some of the best things that happened to you were the result of something unexpected. Maybe you met your partner or best friend by coincidence or as the result of a change of plans. Uncertainty can lead to great things.
• You are able to handle change or unexpected events even when it is negative. You are strong and resilient.

• If you could predict everything in life, it would be extremely boring, and probably not worth living.
• Being anxious won’t give you any more certainty, it will just make any experience less enjoyable. You might as well stop struggling and enjoy the ride. (Of course, continue to take healthy precautions to get reasonable certainty for important things like health and finances.)

5. Understand that questioning things is also a strength 

You’re here because you feel you question things too much — but remember, the goal is not to stop altogether, but to strike a balance. 

Like a coin, every trait we have has two sides to it. Even your tendency to question has an array of potential benefits.

• It shows you are curious.
• It allows you to learn a lot.
• It gives you flexibility in thinking.
• It helps you see other perspectives.
• It helps you reflect on yourself. 
• It lets you understand the world better.

Balance allows you to do this without the anxiety and stress that comes with questioning everything. So, while you’re trying to decrease this habit, don’t forget its positives. And don’t beat yourself up if you do it once in a while.

6. Get help from a therapist

Questioning everything can also be associated with certain mental health problems, like anxiety or depression. If this is your case, it’s best to seek help from a licensed professional. 

Even if you don’t have a diagnosis, or are struggling with something like low self-esteem. If you struggle with this problem to the extent that it’s difficult to live your life, definitely consider speaking to someone. 

They can help you understand the root cause and give you targeted strategies to address it. 

7 tips to help you snap out of questioning everything

Now, you know 6 great tips to tame your brain’s tendency to question things. But this doesn’t mean it will never happen again. So you need to have some strategies for what to do when it gets out of control.

There are different types of situations where you might question things. Going back and forth on an important decision. Debating whether saying something is setting healthy boundaries or overreacting. Or just a regular existential crisis. 

So depending on the situation, use whichever of these 7 tips feels most suitable.

7. Ask for other people’s input

I firmly believe we should rely first and foremost on our own opinions and conclusions. At the same time though, it can be helpful to consider those of other people. Especially when you’re driving yourself crazy in your own mind.

Stepping outside of it to see another person’s perspective can give you a sanity check. “Okay, I’m not the only one who sees it like this. I’m not crazy for wondering about this.” This person may even offer a fresh perspective that helps you see things in a new light. Or, help you sort out the critical questions from the unproductive ones. At the very least, they can be a compassionate sounding board for your thoughts.

Remember, it’s not about seeking validation, but gaining an external viewpoint to compare against your own.

8. Imagine a friend was telling it to you

When you’re in a situation yourself, it’s hard to take a step back and view it objectively. That’s where this technique can come in handy. Imagine a friend or loved one is describing the situation to you, and they are stuck in the cycle of questioning you are in now. What would you tell them?

This strategy is a way of practicing self-compassion. Often, we are kinder and more understanding towards others than we are to ourselves. So by imagining the situation from an outsider’s perspective, you can give yourself the same empathy and wisdom you’d offer to a friend.

9. Allow yourself to calm down

Our brain functions in interesting ways. When you’re stressed, your amygdala — a tiny, almond-shaped part of your brain that deals with fear and emotion — can run rampant. This can make you think in a way that’s not entirely rational or clear. It’s like trying to see through a foggy windshield — things get distorted.

So, before you make any attempt to stop your questioning, let yourself calm down. Do activities that soothe you and help reduce stress, such as:

• Listening to calming music. 
• Taking a relaxing bath. 
• Meditating. 
• Doing a hobby you enjoy. 
• Walking in nature.

It’s not about suppressing your questions or emotions, but allowing them to exist without ruling your thoughts. Once your mind is clear, you can reassess the situation with a fresh perspective.

10. Set a time limit for decisions

Have you ever heard of Parkinson’s Law? It states that tasks expand to take up the time you give yourself for them. If you have a day to complete an application, you’ll have it done by tomorrow. If you have a month, it will somehow take you 30 days. (Kind of like how much popcorn you’re hungry for depends on the size of bag you get at the movies.)

So if your questioning revolves around a decision or task, try setting a time limit. Once the time is up, you have to make the best decision you can with the information you have.

The time limit can vary depending on the importance and complexity of the decision. It could be five minutes for deciding what to eat for lunch, or a week for deciding whether to accept a job offer. But remember, the longer you give yourself the longer it will take. So if you really want to stop questioning things, go for as short as possible. 

11. Allow time to pass and follow your gut

If whatever you’re questioning isn’t urgent, maybe it’s time to try using your brain. But not the one in your head — that’s the one that got you into this mess in the first place. This time, try using your “second brain” — the one in your gut. 

This is what we consider our intuition. It can give us information that we can’t perceive with our five senses. And sometimes, it has even better judgment than conscious thought.

For example, a University of Mannheim study shows that thinking too much reduces your ability to read people well. The study participants watched videos of both honest and deceptive people. Half of them were asked to ponder who was trustworthy immediately after. The other half were first distracted by a different task. The second group was much better at telling who was honest. 

Why? Their subconscious minds had a chance to analyze what they saw without being distracted by conscious analysis. Next time, try to use this to your advantage. 

12. Experiment and build trust in yourself

Another possible reason for this struggle might be that you’re afraid to trust your own judgment. You’re worried you understand things the wrong way, or you’re overreacting, or the way you’re thinking is simply wrong. 

But of course, you can’t go through life relying on other people to validate your feelings and decisions. That’s a good way to drive yourself insane (and probably also your friends). You need to learn to rely on yourself. And the best way to do this is through trial and error.

Next time you find yourself questioning your own judgment, try this:

1. Take the information you have. Formulate a hypothesis on the decision or opinion you have to make. 
2. Act on it.
3. Eventually, you’ll see if it was right or not. Use this information when you try again next time.

You’re going to make some mistakes along the way, and that’s okay. But over time, you’ll develop a relationship of trust with yourself. Eventually, you’ll be able to make decisions without questioning them so much. 

13. Occupy your mind with something

Overthinking things can easily spiral out of control. It can lead you into such a convoluted maze of thoughts, even Sherlock Holmes would need a map. You need to cut the questioning short and pull yourself out. 

The easiest way to snap out of it is a color-based technique suggested by Dr. Kate Truitt.

• Look for 5 red items in your environment, whether it’s in the room around you or on your computer screen. 
• Then look for 5 orange items.
• Now 5 yellow items.
• Continue with all the other colors: green, blue, purple, brown, black, white. 

You might also like to find hobbies to occupy your brain with in general. Your brain will have less idle time to wander off and question things.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Training your brain to question things less

Now you’re armed with 13 awesome tips to help you stop questioning things.

The first 6 will help your brain get out of the habit in general. And the other 7 will help you know what to do when it does happen. I hope these tips help you along your journey toward mental well-being and happiness.

And when you’re ready for the next step, make sure to come back to Tracking Happiness — we’ve got plenty more where this came from!

How do you keep yourself from questioning everything? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 13 Tips to Not Question Everything (and Learn to Trust Yourself) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Internalizing things can feel like being stuck on a runaway train. People around us don’t necessarily know what is happening in our minds, and we are slow to share feelings of shame or fear. We trap ourselves in a vicious cycle of negative emotions, which can spiral us down. 

When we internalize things, we compromise our happiness. This article will explore what it means to internalize things and the destructive consequences of this. We will then discuss five ways to help you stop internalizing things. 

What does it mean to internalize things? 

Internalizing things is a response to stress and negative emotions. While some people may lash out with anger through words or physical violence, when we internalize things, we lash out internally. Internalizing things becomes an attack on ourselves. 

As a child, I wasn’t cheeky or disruptive – I was too afraid of the consequences to be so – but I had high energy levels. And heck, I was a child! Unfortunately, one of my caregivers believes children should act like adults. This attitude meant I could not figure out the world with the support and safety of nurturing adults.

I had no means of figuring out my emotions and expressing them appropriately. So I internalized things. I told myself messages of my low worth and inadequacy compared to certain siblings. 

My hypervigilance to those around me reflected around internally as I parroted off damaging accusations to my soul. When we internalize things, we poison ourselves. 

How internalizing things can be destructive? 

According to this article, when we internalize our problems, we damage our self-esteem. But that’s not all; internalizing things impacts our overall mental health and destroys our relationships with others. 

Internalizing things can lead to numerous negative issues: 

• Loneliness.
• Isolation.
• Abandonment.
• Grief.
• Suffering.
• Rage.
• Envy.
• Jealousy. 
• Insecurity.
• Self-doubt.
• Self-hatred.

Just reading that list of negative emotions makes me feel internal friction and is motivation enough to seek to avoid internalizing behaviors. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 ways to stop internalizing things 

Internalized thoughts can become a vicious cycle. We internalize things due to feelings of shame, guilt, fear, and helplessness, and then we experience these negative emotions again from internalizing our emotions. The complexity of internalizing things can make it extremely difficult for us to seek help. 

Here are our top 5 tips to stop internalizing things. 

1. Work with a therapist

There is no shame in admitting you need help. For many years I read and researched to try and move beyond the anchors of my traumas. But ultimately, I couldn’t break through the wall. I eventually sought help from a therapist, and the progress I have made in almost two years indicates the value of therapy. 

A good therapist will hold a mirror up to you, ask difficult questions, and help you see things in a completely new light. Things that I once internalized and blamed myself for, I learned to see in a brand new light. 

Effective therapy will leave you feeling lighter, and you should experience fewer negative emotions due to working through your internalizing. 

2. Find ways to express your emotions 

Not all of us are creatives or comfortable expressing ourselves through the arts. But you don’t need to consider yourself talented or good at something to be able to release your emotions. 

We all have ways of expressing ourselves, and pouring our emotions out through movement or art is an effective release form. 

Expressing your emotions can be done in many different ways. 

• Start an evening dance class. 
• Learn to play a musical instrument or sing loudly to songs that you feel drawn to. 
• Practice yoga and listen to what positions your body desires.
• Write down your thoughts through journaling, stories, or poetry.

A particularly effective way of releasing negative emotions that have become trapped inside is to write a letter to the person who may be at the center of these negative emotions. The likelihood is you may not send this letter, but the process of writing the letter is cathartic and provides a release for negative emotions. 

3. Practice loving-kindness meditation 

Loving-kindness meditation is a powerful method for inviting peace into your life and releasing internal friction. 

Meditation needn’t be complicated. This article will guide you through a loving kindness practice that only takes seven minutes. 

Loving-kindness is an effective way to find compassion firstly toward yourself, and once you have mastered this, you can learn to extend this compassion to those you feel warmth to, and eventually, you spread this compassion to those you may not feel such warmth for. But by sharing loving-kindness with people you feel hostility toward, you are finding forgiveness and letting go of internal friction. 

4. Know your own worth 

As we already established, many people who internalize things suffer from low self-esteem. As such, they don’t believe they are worthy of happiness or love. It’s time to recognize your worth. 

When we behave in ways motivated by jealousy or rage, we likely won’t particularly like ourselves. So show up as someone you would like to be friends with. Tune into your compassionate side and embrace a life of kindness and compassion. As the Buddha famously said, “We become what we think,” so get hold of those thoughts and try not to beat yourself up with negative self-talk. 

Living in attunement with kindness, you will start to recognize your worth. 

When you extend kindness and compassion internally and externally, you invite the universe to reciprocate this on your behalf. Kindness begets kindness. And slowly but surely, you will recognize your worth. 

5. Become more self-aware

We can’t do anything about it until we are fully aware of our tendency to internalize things. The trick is to recognize these habits, name them, and then try and prevent them. 

These days, if I feel internal friction bubbling up, I know I need to take care of myself. I might not be able to account for why I feel like this, but I know I need to write, run, read, or find a way to distract my brain. I try my best not to give oxygen to the negative thoughts that bubble into my consciousness because as soon as we start to listen to this negativity, it can take hold of us. 

So tune into your body and become aware of when you need to take action to distract yourself from internalizing things and allow these internalized thoughts to spiral you down. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up 

To the outside eye, someone who lashes out angrily is regarded as having more “issues” than someone who remains composed in a similar situation. But we don’t see what is going on beneath the surface. Internalizing things can have a devastating impact on our mental health and relationships, meaning it can lead to deep unhappiness. 

Don’t forget our five tips to stop internalizing things: 

• Work with a therapist. 
• Find ways to express your emotions. 
• Practice loving-kindness meditation. 
• Know your own worth. 
• Become more self-aware. 

Do you have any tips to avoid internalizing things that you could share with us? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post How to Not Internalize Things and Prevent Building Up Negativity appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

There’s no point dwelling in the past, and yet, so many of us do it. You can’t change what has already happened, but you can choose not to let it define you or your future. Most of us know this, but leaving the past behind is a lot easier said than done. While it’s fun to reminisce about the good times, your past shouldn’t hold you back from being fully present in your life. 

Unburdening yourself from your past may feel impossible at times, but it can be done. In this article, I’ll explore reasons not to dwell in the past, why you should strive to live in the present moment instead, and a myriad of strategies for putting your past behind you. 

Why you shouldn’t dwell in the past 

Until the day that someone invents a functioning time machine, you can’t go back and change the past. Time and energy spent ruminating on past events is ultimately futile.

While you should absolutely feel your negative emotions and take the time to process any trauma or devastation that happens to you, it does no good to linger over it forever.

Studies found that dwelling on our past mistakes can negatively affect our present behavior. When we focus on our faults, we start to believe a self-defeating narrative about ourselves.

Mistakes are a natural part of being human. Instead of torturing yourself by mentally replaying your errors on repeat, rewrite the perspective of the story. View every mistake as a valuable lesson. Learn from it instead of letting it hold you back. 

Research shows that our thoughts about the future are based on past experiences, but it’s important to let go of the past to make room for new possibilities. Those who struggle with an inability to move beyond past events often get stuck. They are unable to imagine a better future for themselves.  

A study on mood and mind-wandering found that the sad episodes tend to be past-oriented. Most of the time, when our mind wanders back to the past, we do it with sadness. 

However, revisiting the past isn’t always a bad thing. Remembering positive memories from time to time can actually be beneficial for us. 

Why it’s okay to cherish the past sometimes

Recalling past experiences is a normal part of life. In fact, studies show that remembering the past is actually crucial to our memory functions. Memories are a core element of our sense of self. They provide meaning to our lives and the opportunity to learn from our experiences. 

Revisiting the past can even be therapeutic sometimes. Reminiscence therapy has been used in geriatric mental health care for over three decades. It is often used to help patients suffering from dementia and depression. Older adults who reminisce about moments of happiness tend to mentally adapt better to old age. 

It’s no secret that our happy memories can help us in times of stress and difficulty. According to this 2017 study, positive reminiscence evokes positive emotions that have a restorative and protective effect on our brain in the face of stress. Those who recall happy memories tend to be more resilient against exposure to stress.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

The importance of being present 

Although reminiscing about happy times can enhance our well-being, this doesn’t mean you should live in the past. Time doesn’t stop because you can’t leave your past behind.

If you spend all of your time in a recurring loop of past events, life will continue to pass you by. Since time waits for no one, it’s essential to stay firmly rooted in the present. 

Being mindful of the present moment is widely believed to contribute to happiness and overall well-being. A clinical study of cancer patients reveals that an increase in mindfulness minimizes the effects of stress and reduces mood disturbance.

Similarly, a study found that being fully present for life’s experiences generates positive emotions and improves our psychological health. To enjoy life to the fullest, you actually have to be present for it. 

How to leave the past in the past 

I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you. Leaving the past behind is hard–especially when it’s tinged with pain and regret. Nonetheless, you can’t let your past determine the rest of your life.

Here are a few strategies to help you move forward instead of backward. 

1. Cry it out

Never underestimate the power of a good breakdown. If hurtful memories from your past relentlessly haunt you, it might be helpful to allow yourself to fully and openly feel any emotions attached to them. In the same way that suppressing negative emotions is harmful to you, suppressing negative memories just amplifies the pain. 

Crying, on the other hand, is extremely cathartic. As someone who cries all the time and advocates for others to freely cry, I can confirm that it helps tremendously to ease the pain. And science agrees. Researchers have confirmed that crying releases feel-good chemicals such as oxytocin that ease emotional and physical pain. 

Contrary to societal belief, crying is not a sign of weakness. A good cry is nothing to be ashamed of. Real men do cry, and with all these benefits, they definitely should. 

2. Take responsibility for your healing  

If someone has hurt you in the past, it can be difficult to move on. Though you absolutely have the right to be angry and hurt, it’s important to not let that terrible moment define you. You are so much more than the bad things that have happened to you. 

You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on.

Oprah Winfrey

You are not responsible for the actions of others, but you are responsible for their impact on you. You’re responsible for your own healing, and the actions you take after someone wrongs you. You, alone, have the power to move on from your pain.

It may be difficult, but don’t you think you owe it to yourself to at least try? 

3. Embrace your mistakes 

Unless you’re some sort of perfect human being, chances are, you’ve probably hurt someone in the past. It may or may not have been intentional, but you’re human. We’re a species that learns by trial and error. We’re bound to mess up every once in a while. 

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

Maya Angelou

There’s no use in reliving your mistakes over and over again in your mind. It does nothing to alleviate the pain you may have caused someone else. The fact is you cannot change what happened, but you can choose to accept it and learn from it. To embrace your mistakes, you could try to: 

• Focus on the next best step. If you hurt someone else, ask them for forgiveness, and ask if there’s anything you can do to remedy the situation. 
• Look for the lesson. Mistakes are the best teachers. Learn from them and avoid repeating the same ones in the future. 
• Forgive yourself.
• You might even learn to laugh about yourself.

4. Try something new 

An effective way to let go of the past is to focus on the new. Specifically, focus on creating new, positive memories. There is an endless variety of experiences to try in this world.

Instead of spending your time stuck in the past, spend it on trying to make new, amazing memories. 

Here are a few memorable activities to try: 

• Go on an adventure somewhere you’ve never been. 
• Learn how to cook a new recipe. 
• Sign up for a lesson for a hobby you’ve always wanted to try. 
• Learn a new language and travel to a country with its native speakers. 
• Try a new cuisine. 

If you want more, here is an entire article about trying something new with its many benefits. Remember to relish every moment of pure bliss that finds you. In the face of a new, wonderful memory in the making, slow down. Take a deep breath, and take it all in. 

5. Forgive those who hurt you 

If someone said unspeakable words to you, cheated on you, or abused you, the last thing on your mind is forgiveness. The idea of forgiving someone who hurt you deeply might sound ridiculous. Forgiving them doesn’t make what they did to you okay. It doesn’t necessarily mean they deserve your forgiveness either. 

But try your best to forgive them anyway. Forgive them for yourself. Your health literally depends on it. Forgiveness offers numerous benefits for your physical health. Studies have found that the act of forgiving someone can: 

• Reduce pain, blood pressure, anxiety, depression, stress, and the risk of a heart attack
• Improve cholesterol levels and sleep quality

Forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for yourself. It’s saying, ‘You’re not important enough to have a stronghold on me.’ It’s saying, ‘You don’t get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future.

Jodi Picoult 

Last but not least, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for every wrong and every fault. Forgive yourself again and again. You deserve your own forgiveness as much as anyone else does. 

Here’s another article specifically about how to practice forgiveness daily.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Your past belongs in the past. There’s no point in dwelling there as your life continues on without your complete presence. While reminiscing about happy moments is beneficial for humans, recalling hurtful or shame-ridden memories has the opposite effect. To experience life to its fullest potential, it’s best to leave your past behind and focus on the present moment. You know what they say, there’s no time like the present.

What do you think? Do you find it hard to leave the past behind and move forward? Or do you want to share a specific tip that has helped you in the past? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 5 Ways to Leave the Past in the Past (And Live A Happier Life) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Actively taking steps to forget your past mistakes frees you from negative emotions and rumination. You become free to focus on creating the future you want instead of staying stuck in a past full of regret.

This article will help you figure out how to finally let go of past mistakes. With a bit of guidance, you won’t have to let the past control you any longer.

Why do we hold onto our mistakes?

Why is it so darn hard to move on from our mistakes in the first place? Obviously, it doesn’t feel good to keep thinking about our mistakes. 

Turns out we may be biologically wired to focus on our mistakes.

Research indicates that stressful situations may trigger our brains to be more likely to ruminate. And because mistakes are usually stressful, it’s not surprising that it’s hard to let them go.

I personally tend to hold onto mistakes because I struggle with forgiving myself. I also feel like if I hold onto the mistake maybe I’m less likely to do it again.

For years as a new clinician, I would go through this cycle almost nightly regarding mistakes I made at work. I could remember everything that I did wrong that day.

I felt like focusing on this was eventually somehow supposed to make me a better clinician. And while there is a healthy way to reflect on your mistakes, I was obsessive.

All this did was drive me into a whirlwind of anxious and depressive thoughts. Eventually, my own burnout forced me to learn how to forget my past mistakes.

We may in part be physiologically driven to pay attention to our mistakes. But that doesn’t mean we can’t override this response.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What happens when you finally let your mistakes go?

Let’s go back to my example of being a young clinician prone to making mistakes. I felt like if I didn’t constantly scrutinize myself for my mistakes I wasn’t going to succeed.

And I felt like I was constantly failing my patients. You’re probably starting to see why I experienced burnout as a physical therapist.

But when I finally learned to embrace healthy imperfection and let go of mistakes, I felt free. And much to my surprise my clinical care improved.

Patients found it more relatable when I was honest with mistakes and the learning process. And instead of beating myself up about my mistakes, I was able to learn from them and move on.

Research seems to validate my personal experience. A study in 2017 found that individuals who practiced self-forgiveness experienced improved mental health.

So if you find yourself struggling with your mental health, it’s time to let go of the past. I want to tell you that fixating on your mistakes is not serving you.

There is a way out of the repeat loop of reliving your past mistakes. And when you take that road, you will find happiness and freedom.

5 ways to forget past mistakes

Let’s dive into 5 ways you can start to erase your mistakes and make room for a new mental script.

1. Forgive yourself like you would a good friend

Many of us wouldn’t think twice about forgiving our best friends if they made a mistake. So why do you treat yourself differently?

I had this realization for myself not too long ago. A good friend of mine forgot about our scheduled coffee date.

I waited at the coffee shop for about an hour before calling her. She was so apologetic as she had totally forgotten.

I immediately forgave her without thinking twice about it. I didn’t think less of her or felt hesitant want to schedule another coffee date.

And I started to wonder why I don’t show myself this same type of forgiveness when I mess up.

I know forgetting a coffee date is not a major mistake. But it was insightful to see how I didn’t hesitate to forget it and let it go.

Treat yourself like a good friend. And that means letting go of your mistakes without holding a grudge.

2. Ask for forgiveness from others if needed

Sometimes it’s hard for us to forget our past mistakes because we haven’t taken the steps we need to get closure. Often this means asking for forgiveness.

I remember I made a big mistake in relation to a comment I made about my friend’s job. I almost immediately regretted the comment as it came out of my mouth.

Even though I felt terrible about it, my pride kept me from asking for forgiveness immediately.

Would you believe me if I told you it took me a week before I asked for forgiveness? How silly is that?!

I ruminated on that moment for many hours that week. If I had asked for forgiveness, we both could have moved on quickly.

My friend did forgive me thankfully. And I learned it’s better to ask for forgiveness sooner rather than later.

3. Reflect on what you learned from it

There is a healthy amount of reflection when it comes to our mistakes. Because often mistakes are able to teach us a valuable lesson.

I do think it’s worth looking at a mistake and honestly looking at how you could have improved. This doesn’t mean beating yourself up though.

And this also doesn’t mean reflecting on the situation over and over again until it drives your anxiety through the roof.

Forgive yourself and clearly pinpoint what you could improve upon. Write it out if you need to.

But then commit to moving on from the mistake. This healthy form of reflection will save you precious time and emotional energy.

If you want to learn more, here’s our article on how to self-reflect with 5 simple tips.

4. Focus on what you can do now

We can’t undo what we did when we made the mistake. But we can change our behavior moving forward.

Once you’ve done your healthy reflection, turn your attention towards what you can control now.

Let’s go back to the situation where I said something offensive about my friend’s job.

After I finally asked for forgiveness, I started to think about what I could change. I realized I needed to stop giving my opinion unless it was solicited.

I also learned that blurting out the first thing that comes to mind is not always the best idea.

So I now try to follow a “count to 5 rule”. Before I’m tempted to say something potentially controversial, I count to 5 in my head. By the time I hit 5, I’ve usually determined whether it’s wise to say it or not.

By focusing on tangible things I could control, I was able to stop the rumination process from going on any longer.

5. Get busy helping others

If you really can’t stop thinking about your mistakes, it might be time to stop thinking about yourself for a bit.

Get outside of yourself by helping others. Volunteer by giving some of your time.

If I find myself down in the dumps regretting a behavior, I usually try to schedule a Saturday date at the food bank. Or I’ll go to the animal shelter and lend a helping hand.

If you don’t want to go to an official organization, offer to help out a neighbor.

Taking a mental break from thinking about your own problems may just give you the clarity you need. Because when you help others, your subconscious is able to go to work processing the mistake.

And odds are high that your mood will be much improved after giving to others.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

No one is immune from making mistakes in life. But you don’t have to dwell on past mistakes. You can use the tips from this article to free yourself from regret and anxiety related to your mistakes. And by practicing true self-forgiveness, you will expedite your journey to inner peace and happiness.

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 5 Strategies to Forget Past Mistakes (and Move On!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

So how do you not take things for granted? How can you learn to appreciate the good things in your life more? Can you prevent yourself from turning into a person that doesn’t even know how to say “Thank you” anymore?

In this article, I’ll discuss why it’s so important to not take anything for granted, and more importantly, how to actually do so.

Why it’s good to not take everything for granted

What’s the importance of not taking everything for granted?

There are multiple ways to look at it, if you ask me. From a personal perspective, you’re less likely to connect with others if you take everything for granted. For example, if you never say thanks to a friend, that friend will be less likely to support you in times of need.

By taking things for granted, you’re reducing the amount of positive feedback you’re sending out to those around you. After all, if you take everything for granted, why would you ever compliment someone, or go out of your way to help someone?

But on a grander scale, the problem becomes bigger.

If everybody around the world took for granted the positive things in life, there would be serious consequences. People are quick to acknowledge when they’re let down or disappointed. When people only hand out negative feedback to one another, the world would lose a lot of its positivity.

Social reciprocity

This is explained by a term called social reciprocity, which means that people respond to actions in a similar way. When you help someone out, the other person is likely to say thanks. On the other hand, when you give someone an angry look, that person is likely to become agitated by your actions.

This simple construct is what determines a lot of our society, and if we strip away the positive side of this equation, things will certainly go downhill.

So it’s incredibly important to not take everything for granted. Not only will it help you make positive connections to those around you, it also has the effect of a chain reaction.

By not taking things for granted, you’re able to influence those around you to be more positive in their interactions with others.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Gratitude is the answer

If you know someone that takes most things for granted, you’ll probably think of that person as ungrateful.

What’s the opposite of taking things for granted? It’s to be grateful for the positive things in your life. Therefore, one of the best ways to not take things for granted is to actually start practicing gratitude.

However, it’s important to know that there’s a difference between being grateful and actually expressing gratitude.

You can feel grateful by simply taking a second to think of the positive things that are happening to you. But as long as we don’t actually express gratitude, you may still seem like a person that takes everything for granted.

For example, if a waiter hands you your drink, you’re probably experiencing a positive emotion like joy. But if you don’t actually express this positivity, your waiter is left stranded and leaves this interaction without a similar boost.

We should not conflate the feeling of gratitude with the act of expressing it.

Only by actually expressing our gratitude are we able to share the positive with those around us. Again, this is a crucial part of the way that social reciprocity works.

Unfortunately, this part is often forgotten. In this fascinating study, researchers found that only 15% of conversations include some form of the words “Thank you”. This percentage was even lower for some other languages. This implies that there’s even a difference in how often we express gratitude depending on the language we speak.

5 ways to not take things for granted

So how do you actually stop taking things for granted? How can you actually step up and act like the person you want to be?

Here are 5 ways to not take things for granted and to actually be a person that emits positivity.

1. Slow down

If you’re constantly in a rush, you’ll be more likely to forget to appreciate the good things in your life.

If you want that to change, it’s important to slow down every once in a while in order to realize how many things there are to be grateful for.

A tip you can use to help you slow down is to stop multitasking. While multitasking is bad for more reasons than one, constantly switching between tasks puts you in a distractible state of never being fully present. In other words, by constantly being busy you’re more likely to take things for granted.

Here’s an article we published with more tips specifically on how to slow down.

2. Practice saying “Thank you”

Here’s a question: do you thank your waiter when you get your drinks in a restaurant? Or when they ask you how your meal is?

If not, then that’s something you can change. Even though it’s their job to help you, the least you can do is to say “Thank you”. No matter how much of a formality it is.

This applies to a lot of other situations that may seem meaningless:

• Give a thumbs up to another driver when they give way to you.
• Thank your colleagues for getting you a coffee.
• Thank your partner for cooking dinner.
• Say thanks to the cashier when paying for your groceries.
• Etc.

These are some of the easiest things to take for granted, as they happen on a daily basis. Not saying “Thank you” doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not grateful at all, but it does make you more likely to take things for granted.

Remember, expressing gratitude is more important than feeling grateful in these scenarios.

And if you’ve ever waited tables, you know how much of a difference it makes to hear a simple “Thank you” every now and then.

What you should do? Try to recognize whenever someone does something positive for you, no matter how small the instance. In other words, grasp every opportunity to say thank you.

It’s better to say thank you needlessly than to not say anything at all.

3. Keep a gratitude journal

It’s easy to take things for granted if we’re not even aware of how much good there is in our lives. Gratitude journaling can help us with this.

Just take 5 minutes of your day, sit down with a journal and just list things that you’re grateful for.

Practicing gratitude has been linked to a direct increase in happiness of 10%, as found by studies. It doesn’t matter what you’re thankful for, all that matters is that you think about it and acknowledge your gratitude.

Practicing gratitude, especially when feeling unhappy, keeps us anchored to a more rounded and positive view.

Our emotional subconscious believes whatever narrative our conscious mind feeds it. This is why incessant worrying can make us feel so bad emotionally. It’s also why changing that narrative with gratitude journaling can make us feel better.

Gratitude journaling is one of the best ways to not take things for granted.

4. Stop expecting others to do something for you

If you take something for granted, you’re really just expecting something to simply be there whenever you need it.

Not only does this hurt your likeability, it also exposes you to potential disappointment.

For example, if you don’t think your waiter deserves a simple “Thank you” while expecting top-notch treatment, there’s a big chance you’ll end up disappointed. This is related to the concept of social reciprocity that we discussed earlier in this article.

If you’re unable to send out positive signals to others, you must realize that others are less likely to do the same for you.

When you lower your expectations, you’ll surely find it easier to appreciate the good actions of others. If you’re interested in learning to lower your expectations, here’s a recent article that talks about living without expectations.

5. Be less materialistic and more frugal

We’ve mostly discussed the social impact of taking too many things for granted. But there’s a materialistic side to this story as well.

If you’re a materialistic person, you’ll probably take more things for granted:

• That your smartphone is always running the latest software updates.
• That your social media posts always receive kind comments and numerous likes.
• Or that you stream your Netflix series in the highest definition, no matter how much extra it costs.

While these may be silly examples, it means that you’re more prone to set high expectations.

Instead, if you try to be more frugal, you’ll learn that these things are all luxuries. A person that takes most things for granted has a hard time learning the difference between luxuries and necessities.

One simple tip to be more frugal?

Wait a week before purchasing anything. If you still want it after the week has passed, then go ahead and buy it if you can spare the money.

This not only helps you manage your personal finances better, but the wait will also help you appreciate whatever it is you want. Then, when you finally get your hands on that new gadget, you won’t take it for granted as much.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Always taking things for granted not only makes you less likable. It also stops you from being grateful to others and negatively impacts the effect you have on others. By simply slowing down more and practicing gratitude, you’ll find it easier to appreciate all the good you have in your life.

Now I want to hear from you. Do you have anything to add? Do you remember taking everything for granted, before you learned to be more grateful in life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post 5 Ways to Not Take Things for Granted (and Why This Matters!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.