It’s hard to argue with that. We spend more time with ourselves than anyone else. Yet, our impressions are often biased, embellished, or downright deluded. If we gain clarity with self-reflection, we’ll enjoy better relationships, self-esteem, and success. But reflecting on yourself is also associated with depression and negative thoughts. And many get stuck in reflecting without leading to any progress. What’s the right approach if your goal is both personal growth and happiness?

We’ve got the answers in this detailed guide. We’ll discuss 12 tips to effectively reflect on yourself in a way that’s both healthy and insightful.

What does it mean to reflect on yourself?

Let’s start with the basics: what does it mean to reflect on yourself?

According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, self-reflection is the examination, contemplation, and analysis of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

So you reflect on yourself anytime you ponder questions like these:

• Where does this opinion come from?
• What are my emotions right now?
• What outcome do I want to achieve?

Essentially, it’s any question that makes you delve deeper into who you are and what makes you that way. 

What is the goal of reflecting on yourself? 

Reflecting on yourself is a process. But you don’t do it for its own sake. Eventually, this process should lead to self-awareness, self-knowledge, and self-insight. 

For example, after reflecting on yourself you might realize “I’m not a morning person” or “I have trust issues with my family.” 

It’s key to have this goal in mind because the benefits of reflecting on yourself don’t actually come from the process of self-reflection itself. Rather, they come from its results — the insights you gather. 

These are so useful that a growing number of experts believe self-awareness is a key driver of improvement.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

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Different types of self-awareness

There are countless things we can learn about ourselves. What kind of insight should you try to gain — that would benefit you the most?

There are actually two different kinds of self-awareness, each associated with great benefits: 

1. Internal self-awareness (how clearly you see yourself).
2. External self-awareness (how well you understand how other people see you).

You might think that being good at one kind of self-awareness automatically makes you good at the other too. But research has found there is actually no relationship between them. 

We end up with four different profiles, each with a different set of opportunities to improve:

(Source) 

Research shows that the greatest benefits come from having high levels of both types of self-awareness. So if you’re not in the upper-right corner of the chart, work on increasing the type you’re missing.

But even if you think you’re already “fully aware,” it’s still a good idea to reflect on yourself more. Eurich found that most leaders believe they are self-aware, but only about 10-15% of them really are.

The benefits of reflecting on yourself

At this point, you might be thinking, “Why should I reflect on myself? It all sounds awfully time-consuming.”

You’re right that it takes time — but actually, that seems to be the one main drawback to self-reflection! When you do it properly, all its other effects are wonderful benefits that can make your life a lot better.

Let’s have a look at the main benefits of reflecting on yourself. 

1. Reflecting on yourself fosters personal growth

You may have already heard that people attribute their successes to internal factors like their effort and skills, and their failures to external circumstances out of their control. 

This might be a good coping mechanism to maintain a positive self-image. But clearly, we also have success due to good luck and failure due to our inexperience or poor skills. Imagine how hard it will be to make progress in life if we continue to tell ourselves the opposite! 

Reflecting on yourself helps you face these uncomfortable truths and achieve real personal growth. It can also dramatically improve your problem-solving abilities and resilience.  

2. It boosts your self-esteem

When you get to know yourself through self-reflection, you’ll have an accurate picture of your strengths and shortcomings. 

So when you do well, you can recognize how you contributed to your success and celebrate your hard work.

And when you do poorly, you can understand where you fell short and how you can improve for next time, making you more confident to try again. 

3. It increases your motivation and performance

Are you trying to learn a foreign language, a new instrument, or a challenging skill? Incorporate self-reflection into your routine to boost your performance. 

This means setting goals, tracking your progress, and reflecting on your efforts. Language students who self-reflected in this way showed better motivation, consistency, and progress.

For extra motivation, get regular feedback from your teacher or fellow learners. This increases external self-reflection. Study participants mentioned this as particularly helpful.

4. It helps you fit well into society

As you reflect on yourself, you also discover what makes you different from others. You thus get better at understanding and empathizing with other people’s perspectives. 

At the same time, you improve your own behavior in the context of various social situations. Self-awareness uncovers our true motivations and pushes us to act in more ethical ways.

For example, a study found that more self-aware people were less likely to lie, cheat, and steal. 

Does reflecting on yourself make you happier?

If you’ve already done some research on how to reflect on yourself, you may have come across some mixed findings related to happiness.

Here at Tracking Happiness, we’re all about clarity, understanding, and a science-backed approach. This article wouldn’t be worth anything if we didn’t consider all sides of an argument. 

So let’s break it down: does self-reflection increase happiness?

Self reflection can increase happiness

In the context of the benefits described above, self-reflection certainly improves your life, success, and happiness. 

Reflecting on yourself also leads to happiness directly. This seems to be the case, especially for moderately happy people when they reflect on meaningful events.

This might be because it helps them set meaningful goals, which are strongly linked to greater happiness.

So reflecting on yourself increases happiness:

• If you are moderately happy (and want to be happier).
• If you reflect on meaningful events that help you set meaningful goals.

When reflecting on yourself decreases happiness

It’s interesting to note that self-reflection can decrease happiness for extremely happy people. Researchers speculate this might be because the studies that found this asked participants to reflect on trivial things. 

Another interesting finding is that self-reflection may make it hard to maintain happiness. For example, people who did an act of kindness felt it was more selfish after reflecting on it. Researchers compare this to finding a flaw in a beautiful painting after examining it closely. 

But many of these negative effects arise because we self-reflect the wrong way. We get stuck in the reflection stage without moving towards insights. Or worse, we fall into the trap of self-rumination (more on this later). 

So reflecting on yourself can decrease happiness:

• If you are already very happy (and your reflections make you fixate on trivial flaws).
• If you approach reflecting on yourself in the wrong way.

How to reflect on yourself to increase your happiness

So what’s the bottom line?

The benefits listed earlier make one thing clear. Self-reflection is an incredibly useful tool that we can and should leverage. But we need to strike a careful balance between two things:

1. Gaining an accurate understanding of ourselves. 
2. Maintaining a positive self-image. 

How do we do that? Let’s break it down into actionable steps. 

12 science-backed ways to reflect on yourself effectively

Follow these tips on how to reflect on yourself to achieve both personal growth and happiness. 

1. Choose meaningful topics

As mentioned above, reflecting on trivial matters can lead to negativity and depression. 

So start by choosing carefully what you want to reflect on. 

We all make mistakes on a daily basis. If we had to sit and analyze each one, we’d never get out of our chairs! Not every small blunder you make is worth analyzing. 

Ask questions like these to filter out the meaningful topics:

• Does it have a lasting impact on my life, or does it relate to a lasting area of my life?
• Is it something that happens often, in the same way, or in similar ways?
• Does it relate to one of my core values or beliefs?
• Does it cause me or someone else significant discomfort or pain?

If you’re especially hard on yourself, it might feel like every mistake is a big deal. Then try considering it from a third-person perspective:

• If this happened to someone you know (or even a total stranger), would you think it was a big deal? Would you recommend they spend hours thinking about it? 

2. Focus on problem-solving 

Scientists suggest there are two ways to reflect on yourself:

1. Problem-focused: reflecting on insights learned and how best to reach your goals. 
2. Self-focused: trying to understand, contain, or eliminate your negative emotions, thoughts, or reactions. 

As you might guess, the self-focused method leads to negative feelings and self-rumination. On the other hand, the problem-focused approach leads to inspiration and future progress. 

To get into the right mindset, consider why you want to reflect on yourself before you start. You probably have a specific reason: maybe you want to learn something, process a memory, or drop a bad habit. 

Articulating this reason helps focus your thoughts in the right direction. Write it down on paper and create a mind map as you reflect to make sure your thoughts all connect back to it. 

One important caveat: the approach was named “problem-focused,” but focus on solutions instead. This is an extra layer of protection to keep your thinking constructive and positive. 

Frame questions in this way too. So instead of “What difficulty am I facing right now?”, ask:

• “What would I like this situation to look like a month from now?”
• “What is one possible solution to this problem?”
• “What is one way I could start to move toward creating this solution?

3. Get feedback from others

Researchers point out a seeming paradox: 

The road to self-knowledge likely cannot be traveled alone but must be traveled with close others who can help shed light on our blind spots.

So as you reflect, ask for input from people close to you. Researchers found the best self-awareness comes from getting feedback from “loving critics.” These are people who have your best interests in mind and are willing to tell you the truth. 

Also, be on the lookout for indirect feedback. It is everywhere around you. A performance review from your boss. A passing comment from a friend. Or even a look from a stranger on the bus. These are all forms of feedback on you and your behavior. 

But don’t get too swept away by what others think of you. Nor should you jump to wild conclusions. Get a range of feedback, so you don’t overreact or overcorrect based on one person’s impressions.  

For more information, Thanks for the Feedback is an excellent book on understanding and accepting feedback. It completely changed my approach to personal growth and improving my relationships.

4. Make it a regular practice (with time limits)

Few things produce noticeable results after one day. 

If you want real benefits from reflecting on yourself, you’ll have to make it into a regular practice. Just like going to the gym or learning a new language. 

Psychotherapist Haley Neidich suggests incorporating self-reflection into a daily mindfulness practice. It can be journaling or even a sitting meditation where you allow your mind to explore.

But it’s best to set a time limit for these sessions.

Why?

It keeps you from getting carried away or sucked into a cycle of repetitive thoughts. 

It’s hard to realize that this is happening in the moment. But hearing a timer can snap you out of it. Resist the urge to keep going and move on to another activity.

5. Don’t overthink your feelings

Self-reflection is hardly a new concept. In fact, psychologist Wilhelm Wundt used it heavily in his research in the 19th century. He had a meticulous method to make participants describe their thoughts objectively and accurately. 

The main criticism of this technique was that the very process of self-reflection can change what you’re reflecting on. 

For example, when you try to describe your feelings, you have to stop and think about them. This interruption and attention can cause your feelings to shift. So your reflection will not be accurate anymore. 

To mitigate this effect, don’t spend too much time analyzing your thoughts and feelings. If you’re journaling, write down the first thing that comes to mind. If it doesn’t feel right, just keep writing and searching until you find the words that click. 

6. Watch out for dysfunctional attitudes 

When we reflect on ourselves, we have to be honest. We cannot ignore our weaknesses and delude ourselves into thinking that we are perfect. 

But focusing on the negative counteracts the benefits of self-reflection.

A study looked at the relationship between happiness, self-reflection, self-rumination, and self-insight. It found that self-insight is most related to happiness. Self-reflection can lead to self-insight (discovering new parts of yourself). However, dysfunctional attitudes seem to prevent this result. 

Dysfunctional attitudes are beliefs that lead to negative thoughts about yourself, others, and the future. They often lead to depression. 

They can be thoughts like:

• “If I fail at my work, then I am a failure as a person.”
• “People will think less of me if I make a mistake.”

This is part of the reason why some studies find self-reflection creates more anxiety. The more self-reflection you do, the easier it is for negative attitudes to creep in.

So keep an eye out for these negative thoughts and don’t let them take over your process. They can be easier to catch if you write your thoughts down. 

Discard them, and self-reflection leads to more self-insight, which leads to better well-being.

7. Ask “what” rather than “why” questions

How often do you ask yourself “why”?

Why do I feel so angry at my boss? Why can’t I get through my whole to-do list? Why is sandwich meat round when bread is square?

On the surface, “why” can seem like a logical question. But in fact, it makes us miserable. 

When we ask “why”, our brains point to an explanation that confirms our pre-existing beliefs. And usually, you make connections between things that are completely unrelated. 

For example, let’s say you’re a new manager and you feel a little insecure in your new role. One stressful day, you snap at an employee. You might conclude that you’re not cut out for management. But in reality, it was just a case of low blood sugar. 

The problem here isn’t just that we are wrong, it’s also that we are extremely confident that we are right. So it’s extremely hard to find the real answer. Meanwhile, we worsen our fears, shortcomings, and insecurities. 

So what should you ask instead?

Researchers found that the most self-aware people tend to ask “what”. These questions keep you objective, future-focused, and empowered to act on your insights. They also help you accept difficult truths and become a better person. 

Here are some examples:

• “Why do I feel so terrible?” → “What are the situations that make me feel terrible, and what do they have in common?”
• “Why did my coworker say this about me?” → “What are the steps I need to take in the future to do a better job?”
• “Why is my business failing?” → “What do I need to do to move forward in a way that minimizes the impact on our customers and employees?”

8. Don’t place too much importance on your experience and power

Do you have a large amount of experience or power at work?

You might think this makes you especially good at self-awareness. But unfortunately, research shows this isn’t the case.

More experienced managers tend to be less accurate in assessing their leadership effectiveness compared to less experienced managers. Similarly, those with more power tend to overestimate their skills and abilities. 

This pattern was true for nearly all competencies tested, including:

• Emotional self-awareness.
• Empathy.
• Trustworthiness.

Your experience and power are great accomplishments. But it doesn’t mean much when it comes to knowing yourself. 

9. Journal to explore new topics

Journals are excellent tools to reflect on yourself.

The act of writing things down helps you slow down so you can analyze your thoughts.

Seeing words on the page also helps you recognize negative thoughts, or when you’re veering off track.

But specially made self-reflection journals also help you discover new parts of yourself. 

When we write or think freely, we often gravitate to the same questions or revisit stale problems. On the other hand, journals can provide us with a wide range of curated prompts to think about. 

Here are two that I personally love:

• Made out of Stars by Meera Lee Patel
• Practice You: A Journal by Elena Brower

Each page has a thought-provoking question and a beautiful design to inspire you. 

10. Follow-up with self-management 

How many times have you told yourself you will finally hit the gym, volunteer, or read more often?

We’re much better at thinking and planning than following through on those plans.

For example, you might realize you tend to talk too much in meetings. But you keep doing it again and again. You might believe you have too many important points to skip. Or you’re so used to your usual pattern that it feels uncomfortable to do things differently. 

But the whole point of reflecting on yourself is to move towards happiness and self-development. So if you discover key self-insight or get helpful feedback, follow through and self-manage. 

This is the conscious choice to resist a preference or habit. Instead, you choose more productive behavior. Self-management has four steps:

1. Be present. Pay attention to what is happening right now, not 15 minutes ago or your next meeting. In our example: “I’m focused on this conversation, really listening to everyone’s comments.”
2. Be self-aware. What are you seeing, hearing, feeling, doing, saying, and thinking? For example: “I notice I’m excited and eager to share my ideas. I also recognize many people in the room are trying to speak. I know I have a tendency to speak too often in meetings, which can stop others from participating.”
3. Identify a range of action choices. What do you want to do next? What are the possible consequences of each choice of action? What feedback have you gotten that might help you make a good choice? What are some alternative choices, even if they’re not what you usually do or want to do?  For example: “I could explain my ideas, ask a helpful question, invite others to share their ideas, or listen silently.”
4. Choose the most productive actions. What action will create the best outcome, even if it’s not the easiest action? For example: “I’m going to withhold my comments and instead listen to what others are saying. Even though I really want to share my ideas, I’ve been repeatedly told that I talk too much, and don’t give others a chance to contribute. If I listen now, I will finally be giving others that chance.”

11. Plan ahead

It can be tricky to turn self-reflection into tangible improvement in our lives. We’re creatures of habit, and bad habits can be hard to break. 

Our best safeguard against inaction is to plan ahead. 

First, identify where you want to self-manage. How do you typically operate, and where is your current approach not working as well as you’d like? 

Next, consider what’s driving your lack of self-management. Is it because you lack awareness at the moment, you want to look good, or you’re insecure? Understanding why we make our choices is crucial to changing them. 

Then come up with alternative choices in advance and your possible reactions to them. 

For example, if you talk too much in meetings, another option is to wait until someone else speaks before giving your opinion. Your reaction to this idea might be fear that someone else will make your point and you won’t get “credit” for it. Or that other people won’t have good ideas and thus a bad decision will be made. 

This will confirm why you struggle with self-management. It will also prepare you to work through these difficulties.

Finally, create a plan for concrete steps to take. For example, you can decide in advance how many times you will speak in a meeting and for how long. Or decide in which meetings you will only listen and not speak. 

Now all that’s left to do is practice and repeat the process. 

12. Avoid the trap of self-rumination 

Self-rumination feels a lot like self-reflection because you are in fact reflecting on yourself. But it doesn’t lead to any helpful insights or positive changes. Instead, it creates discomfort in the short term and lowers psychological well-being in the long term. 

Researchers define self-rumination as “a form of negative, chronic, and persistent self-focus that is motivated by perceived threats, losses, or injustices to the self and is associated with neuroticism and depression.”

In simpler terms, you’re self-ruminating if your thoughts:

1. Are constant or repetitive, without leading to any insight.
2. Relate to things that could hurt you, opportunities you’ve missed, or times you’ve been wronged.
3. Make you feel bad.

They are often about inconsequential mistakes or painful memories from long ago. For example:

• That embarrassing slip-up during a presentation three years ago.
• That joke that came out wrong during the first date that never panned out.
• That time when you fell in the middle of the dance performance and the audience laughed.

If you realize you’re self-ruminating, turn your attention to something in your surroundings. It could be the color of someone’s shirt, the noise in the background, or the feeling of the chair you’re sitting on. This will ground you back in reality and pull you out of your negative thoughts. Take a break if you need to, then use the 11 tips above to get back on track. 

If you struggle with self-rumination, consider practicing self-reflection with a licensed counselor who can guide you through it.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Now you know the benefits of self-reflection and 11 science-backed ways to reflect on yourself effectively. I hope this gives you the tools needed to make positive changes. Remember that everything in life is a continuous process. As you practice self-reflection, you’ll get better at it with each new self-discovery you make.

What do you think? Do you find happiness and self-awareness after you reflect on yourself? What’s your favorite tip from this article? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Silvia Adamyova Author

Born in Slovakia, raised in Canada. Online English teacher, editor, copywriter, and translator. You’ll find me holed up in a bookstore, typing in a cafe, or immersed in a philosophical debate.

The post 12 Tips to Effectively Reflect On Yourself (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Our world is filled with external factors that we cannot control. This makes it much more important to at least control ourselves. Even though a lot of our happiness is determined by external factors, we can still control how we deal with these external factors.

That’s where self-awareness enters the picture. You can improve your life tremendously by applying self-awareness techniques in your everyday life. This article will cover real examples of self-awareness, with tips that you can use right away.

What is self-awareness in simple words?

The meaning of self-awareness is “knowing one’s internal states, preference, resources, and intuitions”.

Self-awareness is all about knowing the one thing in life we have control over:

• Our perception of our own world.

If we know exactly what our internal preferences are, then it’s easier to deal with unexpected situations. More importantly, if we know how our unconsciousness reacts to certain events, we can try to improve the way we react to these things.

By being more self-aware, we can control our state of mind in some situations. By feeling more in control of our perception of the world, we are more likely to experience happiness.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Why is self-awareness so important?

The biggest reason why self-awareness is so important is that it allows us to better control our own mindset, and turn it into something positive despite negative external factors.

Here’s an example:

Someone who is not self-aware encounters obstacles, sometimes the same ones repeatedly, and doesn’t understand why. Someone who is self-aware examines themselves honestly to get to the root of their problems.

Despite encountering the same problems, someone who’s self-aware is better equipped to deal with these obstacles.

Maybe people don’t like to talk to you. A person that isn’t self-aware would just get frustrated, or maybe not even notice that people are annoyed by them. A self-aware person examines the facts, and maybe admits (s)he rambles too much, doesn’t listen enough, isn’t engaging, or isn’t being present. They are better able to accept the situation, in order to then be more aware of what to improve.

In other words, the difference between someone who’s self-aware and someone who’s not is that one has the ability to diagnose the underlying issue.

What are some examples of self-awareness?

There are a number of self-awareness examples that showcase why it’s so important. We’ll cover some of these examples in-depth here:

1. Being able to focus on something positive when in a negative situation.
2. Being able to recognize a bad habit and the effect it can have on you.
3. Learn about your emotional triggers, so you can better deal with negative emotions like anger or hate.

There are more examples of self-awareness in this article, but the 3 mentioned here will be covered in the most detail.

1. Being able to focus on something positive when in a negative situation

This might sound like a silly example, but imagine being stuck in traffic after a long day at work.

If you don’t practice self-awareness, you might feel bummed about being stuck in traffic. And that would be that. Your day would be negatively influenced by this traffic, and as a result, you become angry and agitated.

Now think about the same situation, but then with an added sense of self-awareness.

Sure, you still don’t like being stuck in traffic. Being self-aware will not magically create an eternal smile on your face. But it allows you to look further than just the direct effect of being stuck in traffic.

When you are fully aware that being stuck in traffic is not something you enjoy, then you have the opportunity to change the way you react to it. You can actually decide that being stuck in traffic will not bother you. You can decide to focus on the positive things that are still happening in your life.

2. Recognizing a bad habit and the effect it can have on you

Some people can spend entire days binge-watching a series. I’m guilty of this behavior as well, as I’ve binged The Office many times already.

Binge-watching can be a lot of fun and a great way to pass the time on a rainy Sunday. However, binge-watching series can be bad for you if it’s because you want to escape from your problems.

Some people use binge-watching as an escape from reality. You might be escaping your homework, your deadlines at work, or even your relationship. This type of binge-watching is not healthy and has few long-term benefits.

Therefore, it’s important to be able to recognize these scenarios. Are you binge-watching just because you want to enjoy a good series, or are you binge-watching because you want to escape your real-life responsibilities?

To a person that’s not fully self-aware, these two situations might look exactly the same.

But a person that is fully self-aware will recognize the bad scenario. If you are self-aware, then it’s much easier to make the right decision. And that is to first take care of your real-life responsibilities before pressing play on that first episode.

Once you know that you’ve accomplished all your goals, you will enjoy binge-watching so much more. Because now it’s only pure entertainment, instead of a form of procrastination. The truth is, we need to balance short-term and long-term happiness and goals like this.

Finding that balance is difficult, but self-awareness is one of the key aspects to becoming better at this.

3. Learn about your emotional triggers, so you can better deal with negative emotions like anger or hate

I am an introvert, and I sometimes bottle up my emotions when I’m disappointed by others. I then keep those emotions deep inside until I can no longer hold them inside.

This situation has occurred before in my life, and it wasn’t pretty. At the time, I wasn’t fully aware of what was happening in my mind. I could have tackled the situation very differently. I could have decided to focus on happiness, but instead, I let my mind slip and choose something worse.

It might seem really simple: you feel like someone hurts you and you feel bummed. You then hold on to that hurt feeling and turn it into something nasty: anger and hatred.

Someone that’s not aware of this anger and hatred might lash out and explode. This would only amplify the negativity, as emotions like these tend to increase in a heated situation.

Knowing about these emotions – and how the anger and hatred towards someone might grow – will help you control them so much more.

If you are completely self-aware, you will be able to stop and bring it back to yourself first. When you start to rationally question your own emotions, you are much better prepared to get rid of the negativity inside:

• Are you really angry at the other person?
• Are you reacting to your own insecurities and fears?
• Why do you actually need to say hurtful things? What’s in it for you?

Self-awareness helps you to ask these questions in difficult times. This can be very challenging, but it can help improve the quality of your life by simply being more aware of your emotions.

What are the benefits of self-awareness?

If it wasn’t clear yet, there are a number of great benefits that come with self-awareness.

1. Better deal with external factors that cannot be controlled

This is the most important benefit of self-awareness.

We can’t control 100% of our lives, but we can often control how we react to the stuff we can’t control.

In order to control how we react to external circumstances, we need to know how our internal states, preference, resources, and intuitions work.

In other words, we need to understand ourselves better. How do external circumstances affect our state of mind? This allows us to react differently to external factors.

We can decide whether or not something makes us sad, angry, or agitated.

This might not always be easy, but it’s the biggest benefit of self-awareness.

2. Anticipate how certain events will influence your state of mind

A higher level of self-awareness enables us to better predict how certain future situations will influence our state of mind.

That way, we can steer our lives in the best direction possible.

Being aware of how certain external factors have a negative impact on our lives allows us to avoid these situations in the future. Knowing this enables us to rationally decide whether or not binge-watching a TV show is good for our long-term happiness.

3. Better understanding the emotions of the people around you

Self-awareness allows us to better understand the emotions of the people around us. If we are not even aware of our own state of mind, how can we possibly try to grasp how people around us might react to certain events?

With self-awareness comes better knowledge about how certain types of people might react to certain events.

For example, think about a close friend or a sibling of yours. If you know how you would react to an external factor, then it’s much easier to understand what goes on in the mind of this other person.

This way, you can help both yourself and your friend or sibling by stepping away from your irrational emotions.

4. Have a positive influence on the state of mind of people around you

This next benefit closely relates to the previous benefit of being self-aware but is arguably the most important of them all.

Being fully self-aware allows us to actively change the mindset of the people around us. You see, humans tend to move in groups. We tend to copy the behavior of others, and as some of you might know: emotions can be contagious!

If your partner or close friend is sad or angry then there is a possibility that you will feel that emotion as well. The same works for happiness.

Your happiness can actually radiate to other people. Your smile has the power to bring a smile to someone else’s face!

And that is arguably the biggest benefit of self-awareness. If we actively decide to face a bad situation with happiness instead of anger, then that happiness can positively influence the people around us!

How can you apply self-awareness in your everyday life?

There are multiple methods to become more self-aware. What method is right for you depends on who you are. If you are truly serious about becoming more self-aware, then these methods might help you get there.

They have certainly helped me!

1. Start a (self-awareness) journal

If you haven’t considered journaling up until now, let me explain why journaling can be the quickest way to create self-awareness.

Journaling makes you explore what goes on in your mind as you live your everyday life. By journaling, you will get to know yourself in a deeper way than ever before. It will force you to think about the things you do unconsciously.

You’re able to find answers to some big questions:

• Why do you do those things?
• For what reasons?
• And more importantly, how do these things affect you?

You can journal just about everything. If you want to journal about your career goals? Go ahead! Want to journal about your life partner? Sure! It doesn’t matter what the subject of your journal is.

Just writing about the things that are going on in your life will make you feel more connected to the things you do unconsciously. And that’s where you can grow your self-awareness.

What I can highly recommend to everybody is to journal about the things that influence your happiness. Happiness is arguably the single most important thing in life, so why not journal about it?

2. Actively look for and analyze opinions that are not necessarily yours

Another way to become more self-aware is to realize how much power interpretation has on our conception of reality. Try to read multiple perspectives on news items, subjects of contention in the media and among your friends, and really try and set aside your personal feelings in order to understand what might cause a person to see each of these perspectives as true.

When you realize that every person’s perceptions are colored by their prior experiences and see how personal narratives can cause the same situation to be read differently by different people, you’ll likely start to apply that same multiple-lens approach to your judgments about yourself, too.

Listen more than you talk. Nobody learned anything by hearing themselves speak.

Richard Branson

When you soak up as much information as possible – even if that information doesn’t align with your opinions – your self-awareness can grow.

3. Take your time to ask “Why?”

In today’s busy world, it often feels like we are constantly traveling at the speed of light. We don’t have time to stop and just sit for a while.

What we should all do every now and then is take our time, and ask ourselves the simple question of “why?”.

• Why do we do the things we do?
• Why do I enjoy my life at the moment?
• Why do I want to be alone?

Even if you don’t have the answers to those questions, it is important to at least think about these questions every once in a while.

Why? Because by thinking about these questions, we become more familiar with the things that run our daily lives. And by doing so, we get a better feeling of how we react to those things. Both consciously and unconsciously.

Asking a simple question like “why” will result in an increased level of self-awareness, because it forces you to think about the reasons you do things.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

And with that said, I want to conclude this post with self-awareness examples and why it’s so important. There is a lot to learn about self-awareness, and we’ve just scraped the surface of this intriguing subject. I hope this article has shown you how to apply self-awareness in your everyday life, with some actionable examples to get you started!

As always, if you have any questions about anything, please let me know in the comments below, and I’ll be happy to answer you!

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post 7 Examples of Self-Awareness (and Why It’s so Important) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Without being able to recognize the signs of lacking self-awareness, how can you do something about it? In this article, I’m going to show you 11 clear examples that you can use to better recognize when someone is lacking self-awareness, whether that person is you or someone else!

So if you don’t know what “self-serving bias” is, the “negativity bias”, or the “spotlight effect”, you’re in the right place. Continue reading to learn more about these things so that you can better spot signs of self-awareness in the future.

What causes a lack of self-awareness?

Self-awareness is a crucial skill to have when it comes to being a kind, compassionate and happy person. However, most humans are prone to do things or make decisions that don’t seem self-aware at all. But why is that?

I personally know some very smart people that hold down impressive careers and degrees, but ultimately lack a good sense of self-awareness. On the other hand, I know people who aren’t considered the “smartest” in class, but who I do consider to be very wise.

All humans are prone to a number of cognitive biases. Over the years, these biases have been studied extensively and it’s been found that our actions are often negatively impacted by them. We often find ourselves in situations where there is a clear, rational, and logical thing to do, but these biases keep us from doing so and make us look foolish or unaware as a result.

Most of the examples I use in this post are explained by these biases. This is why I’ll be referencing them extensively throughout this article so that you can better recognize these in the future.

So the next time your colleague acts like a man-child, or you find yourself becoming angry over something insignificant, you may recognize one of these biases at work.

By recognizing these situations whenever they pop up, you’ll be well-equipped to deal with any lack of self-awareness in a calm and appropriate way.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Signs you lack self-awareness

To help you recognize a lack of self-awareness in the future, here are 11 examples. As I’ve said, most of these examples can be traced back to one of the studied cognitive biases. It’s a good idea to remember them so you can better recognize a lack of self-awareness in the future!

1. You think you’ve earned all your successes

The first bias I want to discuss that often causes a lack of self-awareness is self-serving bias. This common bias has you believe that all your successes are a result of hard work, dedication, commitment, and discipline. Nothing else!

But what about luck?

“No way! I create my own luck, and I’ve worked my ass off throughout my entire life!”

If you’ve ever been caught saying this, it’s a sign that you lack self-awareness. The self-serving bias comes from a psychological desire to protect our ego. Crediting our successes to luck doesn’t make us look good to others, so our minds often want to believe that there’s no luck involved in our successes.

How do you counter this lack of self-awareness? Try to be more humble every now and then, think about your past successes, and try to spot the lucky instances you’ve enjoyed.

Personally, I vividly remember the first time I interviewed for my job as an offshore engineer. I was only 21 years old at the time, and due to some clerical error on my end, I missed my first meeting with the company.

When I received a phone call from the guy that was supposed to be interviewing me, I did my best to express how sorry I was. Luckily, they accepted to reschedule the interview, despite the fact that there were dozens of other candidates lined up for the job. In the end, I was offered a job and stayed with the company for 6 years. I always tried to be a great employee, and I know I was a productive member of the team.

But my career would have looked totally different if I hadn’t simply been a lucky fool on the day they rescheduled my interview. Without luck, I wouldn’t have gotten anything.

2. You play the victim card whenever you receive feedback

While we’re on the topic of the self-serving bias, here’s another great sign of lacking self-awareness. People who are especially vulnerable to the self-serving bias are not only quick to take full credit for their successes, but they’re also quick to blame their losses on their circumstances.

Let’s consider my previous example: If I had not been invited for a second interview, I could have blamed it on them.

“I missed my interview because you guys told me the wrong date! It’s not my fault!”

If I had responded this way, that would be a clear sign of being unaware. If you find yourself a constant victim of circumstance, chances are that you’re lacking self-awareness.

As said before, the self-serving bias serves to protect our egos. So whenever we hit a setback, the easiest non-confronting thing to do is to point the blame to something else.

• Missed an important meeting? Blame the busy traffic!
• Forgot to buy a gift for your partner’s anniversary? The shops were all closed!
• Did you lose in a game of bowling? The bowling alley must have been on a slight angle!

Even though this may sound silly, saying these kinds of things are clear signs of lacking self-awareness. You can thank the self-serving bias for that!

3. There’s always drama when you’re with others

Everybody hates drama, right? And by drama, I mean pointless arguments, fights, name-calling, gossiping, awkwardness, you know… Immature stuff.

If it feels like you’re always surrounded by drama, then maybe you should take that as a sign of lacking self-awareness.

This may sound harsh, but what’s the common denominator? It’s you. While this doesn’t guarantee that you are always the cause of drama, it may be a good idea to ask yourself how much you participate in creating the drama. Maybe you should learn how to be a bit more compassionate, or be more kind to others?

When you’re fully self-aware, you may be able to intervene whenever a social get-together is turning into an awkward, passive-aggressive, or downright hostile situation. Spend your energy focusing on positivity rather than negativity.

4. You find it hard to say “I don’t know”

Here’s another sign you lack self-awareness that can be traced back to a common cognitive bias.

If you think that saying “I don’t know” is a sign of weakness, then there’s a clear sign that you’re the one that lacks self-awareness.

There’s a human principle called the “Dunning-Kruger effect“, which is explained in layman’s terms with the following quote:

The more you know, the more you realize you don’t know.

Aristotle

Whenever someone says “I don’t know”, this may mean two things:

• The person really has no clue about the subject matter and is honest about his/her lack of knowledge.
• The person is actually very knowledgeable but doesn’t want to answer your question with a simple black-and-white statement. This often results in an “I don’t know, but….”.

If you interpret both answers as the other person being clueless, then you need to know that you may actually be the one that lacks self-awareness.

Having the honesty, decency, and know-how to acknowledge your shortcomings is a sign of wisdom instead of cluelessness. If you don’t understand this basic principle, then you should work on your self-awareness some more.

Luckily, self-awareness is a skill that can be improved:

• You can journal for self-awareness.
• Self-awareness can be taught.
• Here are 4 ways to improve your self-awareness.

5. You have a compulsive need to control everything

When people call you a control freak – jokingly or seriously – that’s a good sign that you lack self-awareness.

If you spend the majority of your energy trying to influence things that are beyond your control, then you lack self-awareness. This includes the following things:

• Controlling whether or not people like you.
• Trying to control the amount of sleep you need.
• Forcing your own beliefs onto others.

These are things you should stop trying to control. When you try to control too many things, you set yourself up for high expectations, disappointments, and – frankly – you’re going to get on some people’s nerves.

Someone that’s self-aware knows when to back down and just accept life for what it is: chaotic and uncontrollable.

6. You never change your mind about something

You may be an expert in rocket science or hold a Ph.D. in neurology, but that doesn’t make you an expert in every topic.

That’s why changing one’s mind is a key sign of self-awareness. In this case, self-awareness leads to the realization that you are not all-knowing. It’s okay to change your mind when presented with new information.

This isn’t always easy. As I’ve said before, our minds are designed to protect our ego, and changing our minds on something can feel similar to admitting we were wrong. This is especially difficult as you grow older.

It’s easier to just ignore feedback or constructive criticism than it is to change your perception.

As an experiment, you should ask 3 of your friends for their honest opinion. Ask them if they think you are open-minded. If the answer is not a clear “Yes!”, then here’s a good article that can help you deal with your lack of self-awareness:

• How to keep an open mind

7. You feel the need to talk (all the time)

We all know people that love to talk. This is absolutely not a sign of lacking self-awareness!

But some people talk all the time and actually don’t say a lot of meaningful words. Instead, it feels like they talk all the time to fake a sense of importance, or to mask their lack of knowledge. These people are most active in offices, where lots of talking during meetings is sometimes confused with actually being an important team member.

If this feels like something you do, then that’s a clear sign you lack self-awareness.

My grandfather always told me that silence is more powerful than speaking. And there’s a popular quote floating around on the internet that encapsulates this sentiment as well:

You never really learn much from hearing yourself speak.

George Clooney

How do you recognize this type of behavior in yourself?

Here’s one: If you’ve sat in a long meeting and feel like you did all the talking, but ultimately made no progress, then it may be a sign. Maybe you should have just stopped yapping and let your colleagues speak more.

By recognizing this kind of behavior in yourself and others, you’ll be more likely to develop a sense of self-awareness that others don’t have.

An interesting cognitive bias to be aware of here is the “Spotlight Effect“. According to the Wikipedia page, it makes people “believe they are being noticed more than they really are“. While we’re all the main characters in the story of our own life, everyone else is center-stage in theirs too.

8. You gossip

I know, I know. Don’t we all gossip sometimes?

Yes. Or, at least, I do.

But everyone knows that excessive gossip only leads to negativity. If everyone in your group of friends gossips behind each other’s back, then there’s not going to be much trust in the end. Yet, we all do it.

If you’re at least self-aware, you’ll be able to recognize this and steer the conversation in a more positive direction. You don’t want to build your friendships on a foundation of gossip and negativity.

9. You focus on short-term happiness too much

Everyone wants to lead a long and happy life. But in order to do so, we must find a balance between focusing on short-term happiness and long-term happiness.

This article explains what I mean by that, but it comes down to practicing a good amount of “delayed gratification”:

Delayed gratification is the resistance to the temptation of an immediate pleasure in the hope of obtaining a valuable and long-lasting reward in the long-term.

Wikipedia

As an example, I’m writing this article right now, even though I could go out and enjoy the sun. I do so because I hope publishing this article will mean that my business will grow and help spread happiness around the world.

If you only spend your time going after short-term happiness – or immediate pleasures – chances are you lack a certain amount of self-awareness.

By immediate pleasures, I mean things like:

• Watching Netflix all day instead of working on your projects.
• Eating unhealthy snacks instead of meal-prepping something healthy.
• Staying inside instead of going out to exercise.
• Go out shopping instead of organizing your wardrobe.

You get the idea, right?

You should find a healthy balance between long-term and short-term happiness that promotes your sense of fulfillment and purpose. If you’re unable to find this balance and opt for the “easy way out” whenever you get the chance, you may want to work on your self-awareness.

Here’s a good article that will help you delay gratification more.

10. Most of the things you say are negative or criticizing

Sure, negativity has a purpose in our lives. Some forms of negativity, such as skepticism and unoptimistic realism, can come with positive effects such as increasing a person’s ability for clear judgment and self-motivation.

But if you’re pessimistic by nature and unaware of it, you may lack self-awareness.

This is another well-known bias, that is simply known as the “Negativity Bias“. People that suffer from this bias are often referred to as “glass-is-half-empty” people”. In other words, when something is equally positive and negative, these people decide to focus on the negatives.

This is not bad by definition. Many of us are pessimistic by nature. But those who are unaware of this character trait are lacking self-awareness. And this could impact your social relationships.

It’s been studied over and over again that the way we feel and express ourselves can influence the mood of those around us. In a study published in the British Medical Journal, scientists have found that happiness can effectively spread through your social ties such as your friends, family, and neighbors.

If you’re spreading negativity in the way you engage with others – without being aware of it – you may risk losing some of your friends. Especially when more and more people become aware of how they are influenced by the mood of others.

11. You go out of your way to prove your own right

Here’s the last sign of lacking self-awareness, and it’s explained by a common bias that we’ve not discussed before: Reactance.

It’s a common habit in humans to push back against someone who challenges what you do. Even when logic is not on your side, reactance urges you to stubbornly resist and push back even harder.

There are some unfortunate examples of this, and they are especially common among conspiracy believers.

• Flat earthers go out of their way to push back against logic that supports the earth being a sphere. Instead, they spend their time honing their own arguments and convincing themselves even further of their own rightness.
• What about anti-vaxxers? Even though the world’s biggest scientific bodies are supporting the efficiency of vaccines, there are people who refuse to believe this. What if it’s all a scheme?
• I don’t mean to get political here, but it can be argued that Donald Trump is a victim of reactance as well. Even though the votes were recounted multiple times in 2020, he claims to have lost the presidential elections due to voting fraud. The more people try to reason with him, the more he pushes back against these “allegations”.

If you’re in a similar situation, it’s very difficult to realize what’s happening. After all, these people all believe that they are right.

Again, this is a simple case of trying to be open-minded.

If we’re more open to feedback, more deliberate in the way we analyze things, and apply a filter to whatever we want to say, we’re less prone to lack a sense of self-awareness.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

I hope this article has shown you examples of lacking self-awareness that you didn’t realize before. By being aware of the many ways in which our judgment can be distorted, we’re better equipped to deal with life’s odds in a better way. By showing you these 11 examples, you can better recognize when someone is lacking self-awareness, whether that person is you or someone else!

What do you think? Do you have an example that perfectly fits this list? Or do you want to correct something I said in this article? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post 11 Signs Someone Has a Lack of Self-Awareness (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Having a victim mentality is exhausting; I know this because I’ve been there. But you know what else? It is also exhausting to be in the company of those with victim mentalities. Nothing good comes from this mentality, so you must learn to stop it for your well-being. 

This article will outline what a victim mentality is and why it harms our happiness. It will also suggest five tips to help you overcome a victim mentality. 

What is victim mentality? 

A simple definition of victim complex from WebMD is “someone who views themselves as a victim of their life’s events.”

Those with a victim mentality remove any level of accountability for what happens to them. They believe bad things happen to them more than others, and they can’t do anything about this. 

This mentality can become a learned behavior as a defensive mechanism in response to a negative event. For instance, people who have experienced trauma in their lives are susceptible to a victim mentality. 

People with a victim mentality constantly blame others or external factors for things that go wrong; they never take accountability. According to people with a victim mentality, it’s always someone else’s fault.  

Someone in my life was organizing a large-scale music event. I found out it was canceled and asked her why. She attributed the cancellation to a lack of public support and reeled off other external factors. But the truth is, she hadn’t marketed it adequately. People didn’t know about it! But instead of taking accountability and treating this as a learning opportunity, she continued making similar mistakes. She refused to empower herself with self-awareness. 

Here are five key signs from WebMD that you may have a victim mentality.

• You blame others for how your life is.
• You believe the world is against you. 
• You constantly feel sorry for yourself and it gives you pleasure. 
• You attract people with a similar mindset.
• You are stuck in a cycle of negativity.

Why is victim mentality terrible for us?  

Ok, let me make this very clear. Not everything is about you. That sounds harsh, but I say this from experience. I was once that person who was slow to listen to a friend in need and quick to turn the conversation around me. I’m embarrassed to admit that I even engaged in the suffering Olympics.

“You think you’ve got it bad; you should try living in my shoes for a bit, then you wouldn’t complain.” 

No connection is ever deepened with that sort of lack of empathy! With a stark lack of compassion, people with a victim mentality may experience their social life thinning out as people start to avoid them. Yes, sadly, I know this firsthand.

People with a victim mentality tend to have an external locus of control. This type of locus of control means they believe they have no control or influence over what happens in their life and how they behave. 

Victim mentality is unhealthy for us for several reasons. 

• Increased negative thoughts. 
• Fewer positive relationships. 
• Less successful in life.
• Unable to take personal accountability. 
• They may experience a downward spiral in their mental well-being.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 ways to stop victim mentality

There are no positives associated with a victim mentality. Many of us can recount several people in our lives who we class as having a victim mentality. Let me ask you something. Do you want to be like them? Do you see yourself becoming more like them than you are comfortable with? It’s time to take action. 

Here are five ways to help you stop victim mentality. 

1. Stop thinking you are a martyr  

According to this article, the martyr complex correlates with the victim complex. The article elaborates upon martyr behavior as:

Those who turn themselves into martyrs victimize themselves for the benefit of others. They constantly sacrifice resources against their own self-interest. A martyr takes on the role of her hero.

Do you have a martyr in your life? I do, and let me tell you, it is exhausting! She regularly reminds me that all her neighbors can’t live without her, or her cards club would collapse if it weren’t for her. And then she complains that she has no time for her hobbies because her time is consumed with other people. She is handing away her power. 

Many people with a martyr complex become bitter and resentful. 

Do some deep soul-searching. If you recognize the tendency to martyr yourself, try and unpick this. Learn to say “no.” Your self-worth does not rest on your “heroic” endeavors. 

2. Practice forgiveness  

Forgiveness is essential if we want to get out of our victim dungeon. I’ll admit there was a time in my life I succumbed to the victim mentality. I thought I had it harder than everyone else. I compared myself to my peers and friends. Life felt like I was walking through quicksand. 

But I realized my burden was anger toward myself, jealousy toward other people, and hostility to the system. Over time I learned to practice self-compassion and stop my mind from taking me to negative places. I learned to practice forgiveness for myself and others. 

Forgiveness is an ongoing process. You can’t just decide to forgive and find a place of forgiveness immediately. But all those actively working on forgiveness report a deeper sense of inner peace and happiness. 

3. Get realistic  

Perspective and realism are needed to conquer a victim mentality. 

When we have a victim mentality, we may think, “Everything bad always happens to me,” and we have it worse than others. We are all fighting a battle that no one else knows about. We never know the actual extent of difficulties other people are enduring. It’s time to stop focusing our attention on other people. We can only control ourselves, so placing our attention elsewhere wastes energy. 

It’s time to get real. If you regularly share stories that paint you as the victim or are used to garner pity, ask yourself if you intentionally omit the narrative of your involvement.

For instance, It’s easy to dramatize a story about the driver who honked his horn at you and drove on your tail for a few miles, but are you also being open about the fact that you cut in front of him and then gave him the middle finger? 

Don’t just tell one-sided stories for sympathy and pity. Be realistic when you assess situations and take account of your actions. 

4. Take control of your own wants and needs 

It’s easy to blame others for things that have gone wrong. 

An elderly couple I am close with constantly points the finger at each other. She says she can’t go out for dinner because he doesn’t want to. She says he is no fun; he says she is always on his case. Does this sound familiar? 

We don’t need to rely on anyone else if we want to go out for dinner. We can go by ourselves, with a friend or a family member. And yet, people forget this. They sit in their victimhood of being unable to do something and blaming another person instead of thinking creatively and figuring out an alternative way. 

Miley Cyrus is a superb example of an empowered woman. In her latest song, Flowers, she sings, “I can buy myself flowers, write my name in the sand.” Instead of dwelling on the demise of a relationship, she recognizes she doesn’t need anyone else to validate her.

Don’t wait for someone else to buy flowers for you. Learn to take care of your own wants and needs. 

5. Find connection through positivity  

In my experience, those who suffer most from victim mentality use their victim dialogue to garner pity and sympathy from others. I see this as attention-seeking behavior.

Often, those with a victim mentality use this as a way of building connections. But it’s time to relearn how to build connections based on positivity. 

You don’t want people to spend time with you out of pity or a sense of obligation. So try and build your relationships on positivity. 

You will likely attract positive energies when you consciously reset your victim mentality. They say, “Your vibe attracts your tribe.” Moving away from a victim mentality will likely result in more fun and laughter. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up 

How you live your life is a choice. You can wade through your world feeling victimized and hard done by, or you invite greater happiness and fulfillment into your life by shaking off your victim mentality, being accountable, and living your life with intention and purpose. 

Remember our top 5 tips on how you can stop victim mentality. 

• Stop thinking you are a martyr.
• Practice Forgiveness. 
• Get realistic. 
• Take control of your wants and needs. 
• Find connection through positivity. 

What are your recommendations for escaping a victim mentality? Do you have any tips I haven’t talked about? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Tips to Stop Victim Mentality (and Take Control of Your Life) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

It takes a lot of reflection to come to terms with the most basic, let alone the deepest, parts of ourselves. Turning inward can be a tough challenge as it requires us to be vulnerable (which isn’t easy for most of us). But the skill of self-awareness can be taught and learned like any other. It only takes the drive to improve and a generous amount of self-compassion to achieve it.

In this article, I’ve looked at existing studies on self-awareness and whether or not it can be taught. I’ve found 3 actionable tips that will help you learn this skill as much as they’ve helped me!

What is self-awareness?

In the world of psychology, the term “self-awareness” has become quite a buzz word in recent years. Being self-aware means that you have a high consciousness of how you function, think, and feel. At the same time, it’s also being adept at how you extend yourself to others in the outside world.

Psychologist Tasha Eurich, who has been studying self-awareness for over 15 years now, has conducted a scientific study that involved nearly 5,000 participants in 10 separate investigations in order to define self-awareness and how it manifests in different people.

She and her team found that self-awareness can be categorized into two types:

1. Internal Self-Awareness represents how clearly we see our own values, passions, aspirations, fit with our environment, reactions, and impact on others.
2. External Self-Awareness means understanding how other people view us according to these factors.

In order to be fully self-aware, one must not prioritize one type over the other according to Eurich. For example, if one is only internally self-aware, they may be too confident about themselves and refuse constructive criticism from others.

On the other hand, if one is only externally self-aware, then they may become “people pleasers” who only seek the approval of others and lack a stronger sense of self.

Tasha Eurich has a nice TEDx talk that answers some other interesting questions about this topic:

When you’re low on both external and internal self-awareness, you may struggle in knowing what you want, what you need, or what your boundaries are. And, as a result, you may have toxic relationships where other people can’t value you for who you truly are.

What happens when you lack self-awareness?

Lacking self-awareness can be a common phenomenon, especially when you’re at the stage of your life where you’re still discovering yourself and the world around you.

For example, I experienced the struggle of lacking self-awareness when I was in my early 20s. I was at a point in my dating life where I knew I was looking for something serious but couldn’t find it.

There was a time when I thought that being with this one person was everything to me. I thought that I didn’t need anything else. But, as you may have guessed by now, the relationship didn’t work out.

After countless drunken nights with my best friend and binging on self-love videos on YouTube, I eventually realized that the reason why I couldn’t find the right relationship was that:

• I didn’t know what kind of relationship I actually wanted.
• I didn’t know what kind of person I wanted to be with.
• I didn’t know how I wanted to be loved.

I was totally clueless about myself which is why I was also clueless about the relationships that I was in.

I lacked the self-awareness that I needed.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

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What happens when you build self-awareness?

Once you acknowledge that you need to improve your self-awareness, things can radically change for you.

In my case, the process was not the breeziest and most comfortable one. In the early stages of my search for self-awareness, I felt even more lost. Everything I thought I knew about myself suddenly seemed wrong. The growing pains were real!

But when I started teaching myself self-awareness, that’s when I became a better friend to myself.

• I learned to choose myself over other people who were not good for me, at the same time listen to those who truly value me for who I am and how I want to be valued.
• I learned to be firmer about my boundaries.
• I learned to communicate my needs.
• I learned to show myself compassion and embrace every part of me. (I now know that these parts exist!)

Teaching myself self-awareness also helped me have a better sense of who I want to become, what kind of life I want to live, and what kind of people I want to surround myself with.

How can self-awareness be taught?

In Eurich’s study, although most participants believed that they are self-aware, only 10-15% of them actually are.

She lovingly dubbed this small portion as the “self-awareness unicorns.” And if you want to be part of this magical elite circle, here are three actionable steps that you can take.

1. Stop asking “why?” and ask “what?” instead

One interesting insight that Eurich found in her study is the difference in response between those people who are less self-aware and those who are more self-aware.

When faced with a difficult situation, the “unicorns” ask “what” questions instead of “whys.”

So, if you’re not so self-aware and you didn’t get the job that you so badly want, you will have the tendency to ask “Why am I so bad at my chosen career track?” or even “Why do employers hate me?”

This will only cause counterproductive rumination that will lead you away from your truth and down a depressive path.

But, if you’re in a similar situation and you’re more self-aware, then the right question to ask is, “What can I do to get my next dream job?”

Or perhaps “What can I improve in myself to be worthy of that kind of position?”

Achieving self-awareness also helped me have a better sense of who I want to become, what kind of life I want to live, and what kind of people I want to surround myself with.

2. Be in touch with your feelings

One of the resources that helped me out of my rut when I was discovering self-awareness was philosopher Alain de Botton’s “On Being Out of Touch with One’s Feelings.”

In this essay, he discusses how we have the tendency to numb ourselves when difficult (and sometimes nasty) feelings arise. For example, we’d rather say, “I’m tired” when we don’t feel like giving affection to our partner instead of saying, “I’m hurt” after they commented something offensive about our cooking. It’s hard to admit those feelings because they require vulnerability and fragility.

However, to achieve self-awareness, we have to be good “reporters” of our feelings. To be in touch with our feelings, we must take the time, perhaps during idle moments, to catch up on the feelings that are located much deeper than what we’d like to observe from. One way to do this is to write a self-awareness journal!

We have to own up to these feelings of hurt, shame, guilt, anger, and self-indulgence to really get to know ourselves fully and honestly – nasty bits and all.

One of the too-often overlooked, but key arts of living is to learn to devote ourselves to correctly labelling and repatriating our own and others’ orphaned feelings.

Alain de Botton

3. Seek insight from the right people

As mentioned earlier, being self-aware doesn’t only mean focusing on your inner workings; it also entails knowing how you relate yourself to others.

Having low external self-awareness can limit your relationships and, consequently, your overall growth.

In light of this, we must seek insight from other people, too, in order to have a wider perspective of ourselves.

But we must remember to accept feedback only from the right sources. These are people who know our true value, who lovingly push us to our full potential, who care about us but trust us enough to make our own decisions. If you already have some people in mind, then you’re on the right track!

However, if you feel like you will benefit from a different perspective than your loved ones’, then seeking counsel from a professional is the way to go.

A therapist can help you delve further into your mind and catalog your feelings. Equipped with the right tools, they can listen to us, study us, and provide a more dynamic yet kinder picture of our truest selves.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping Up

Self-awareness is both a powerful tool and an exciting journey. In order to be our best selves, we must turn inward first. Learning more about ourselves is an important step before teaching others how to know and love us. And there’s nothing more rewarding than being known and loved in such an authentic way. So let’s get to know ourselves better, learn how to be more self-aware, and become our very own best friend first!

What did I miss? Do you want to share a tip that you missed in this article? Or maybe you want to open up about your own experiences with learning to be self-aware? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Madel Asuncion Author

Writer and advocate for young people’s mental health. Firm believer of validating one’s feelings, prioritizing the inner-self, and finding happiness in a plate of chicken curry.

The post 3 Reasons Why Self-Awareness Can be Taught and Learned appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Yes, it does. Self-awareness is the key to understanding yourself and others, and it’s an important part of well-being and day-to-day functioning. There are many reasons why we may be hesitant to grow self-awareness, including the fact that facing yourself honestly can be hurtful, but the benefits outweigh the possible negatives.

If you’re looking to start the new year by becoming more aware of yourself, read on. In this article, I’ll take a look at what self-awareness is and four ways how to improve it.

What is self-awareness?

In the most general sense, self-awareness can be defined as the extent to which we are aware of ourselves and how others perceive us.

On the most basic level, self-awareness refers to the ability to distinguish between oneself and others and recognize oneself in the mirror. In a famous experiment, often known as the rouge test or the mirror test, researchers painted a red dot on children’s noses and placed them in front of a mirror.

If the child tries to wipe the red paint off their nose after looking in the mirror, this means that they have recognized themselves. Infants younger than 12 months do not recognize themselves in the mirror and seem to think that the reflection is another child, whereas children above 15 or 20 months of age show signs of self-awareness.

As adults, we have far surpassed the most basic level and deal with meta self-awareness or self-consciousness: not only are we aware of ourselves, but we are aware of how others may perceive us. This type of awareness develops in childhood, too, but seems to be most prevalent in our teens and adulthood: we can become preoccupied with how we appear rather than how we are.

Another way to think of this is to distinguish between public and private self-awareness. Public self-awareness is the awareness of how we appear to others, while private self-awareness refers to our ability to be aware of and reflect on our internal states.

An important part of self-awareness is the realistic and non-judgemental assessment of your resources and abilities. A self-aware person is accepting of their strengths and weaknesses but maintains a growth-oriented mindset.

Why do you need self-awareness?

When watching the Netflix documentary Don’t F**k With Cats, I often found myself asking if the amateur online detectives have any self-awareness. It seemed to me that if they had any, they wouldn’t have acted the way they did.

The documentary, which details the case of Luka Magnotta, features interviews with people who tried to catch the killer using only the internet. They detail their frustration with the police who didn’t take their information seriously.

On one hand, I understand the frustration. On the other – what did they expect? They are anonymous people on the internet, obsessively going through YouTube videos frame-by-frame trying to find evidence. None of them had any forensic or legal training.

I reflected on the experience later and I realize that even documentaries use the artistic license to bend the truth so it makes a more compelling narrative. I’m sure that the interviewees are all intelligent, self-aware people in their daily lives, but the way they were depicted in the film made them look like textbook examples of low self-awareness.

That’s one of the reasons why self-awareness is so important – so you don’t end up looking silly in a Netflix documentary. Or, put in a more general and serious way, self-awareness is important because it allows us to assess our abilities realistically and stops us from biting off far more than we can chew.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Studied benefits of self-awareness

There are some other positives to self-awareness as well. Psychologist and researcher Anna Sutton determined three main benefits in her 2016 study:

• Reflective self-development, which refers to paying continuous attention to the self, with a focus on conscious, reflective, and balanced learning;
• Acceptance of self and others, which includes a positive self-image and confidence as well as a deeper understanding of others;
• Proactivity at work, which is related to the outcomes of self-awareness in the workplace and represents an objective and proactive approach to dealing with work.

Self-awareness is also simply good for your psychological well-being. For example, a 2010 study found a significant correlation between self-awareness and well-being in mental health professionals, a population with a high risk of burnout.

Furthermore, self-awareness is important in leadership and business, as well. A 2019 study conducted by Green Peak Partners consulting firm and Cornell University researchers showed that a high self-awareness score was the strongest predictor of overall leadership success.

How to improve your self-awareness

Self-awareness can be a little bit tricky to gain. It takes some very conscious effort to develop your self-awareness and it’s not always pleasant. For example, becoming more self-aware means that you have to also look at the parts of yourself that you may not like.

However, as I’ve outlined above, self-awareness has many benefits, and building it will be worth your trouble. Here are four tips on how to get started on improving your self-awareness.

1. Keep a journal

Writing down your honest thoughts and ideas is the perfect way to open yourself up for exploration and awareness. The keyword is “honest” and that’s why journaling is one of the best ways to start your self-awareness journey – you can be completely honest in your private journal.

If you’re not into long-winded self-reflections, the easiest type of journaling for self-awareness is to use different types of trackers.

Mood trackers, exercise trackers, water intake trackers, calorie trackers, you name it. We tend to think that we eat healthier than we actually do or that our moods are more stable than they actually are.

By tracking our habits, we get a much more objective picture of ourselves.

You can find a comprehensive guide to journaling for self-awareness here.

2. Ask for feedback

People like feedback, but we tend to prefer the positive, affirming kind. We tend to be afraid of both giving and receiving “negative” feedback. However, we shouldn’t fear constructive feedback, because it’s one of the best tools for building self-awareness.

If you want to build your self-awareness, pick a couple of people you trust and ask for their feedback. For example, you can ask your partner what they like about you and what they wish you did differently, or a coworker about how they see you as a team member.

There are two things to keep in mind when asking for feedback. Firstly, you may have to remind the person that they should be honest (but constructive). And secondly, try not to get defensive. After all, it’s you who’s seeking feedback. Accept it with grace and take some time to reflect on it.

3. Practice meditation or mindfulness

Mindfulness is all about non-judgemental awareness, so it’s not hard to see why it’s related to self-awareness. In fact, some researchers believe that they are essentially the same thing with only minute differences between the two.

Practicing mindfulness can help you learn how to observe your thoughts and feelings in a calm, honest, and accepting manner, which creates a strong base for further self-awareness.

I have written about mindfulness before and you can find a quick guide to get started here.

4. Understand your values

Take a moment to think about your values. You can probably name the things and ideas that you hold dear, but have you ever explored their meaning? What is your personal “why” in life?

Sit down with a close and trusted person and have a discussion about your values. If you’re not sure where to start, use this or this worksheet from Therapist Aid as a guide. Chances are that you’ll discover something about yourself and become a little more self-aware.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Building self-awareness can be tough, but it also has many benefits, from better leadership skills and psychological well-being to increased self-acceptance. To reap these benefits, you have to be prepared to be honest and put in some conscious effort, but the benefits outweigh the costs. We are always raising awareness of all sorts of causes – from mental health to climate change – but this year, I invite everyone to raise a little self-awareness as well!

Do you have an interesting story to share about self-awareness? Maybe an additional way to improve self-awareness that I missed in this article? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments below!

Maili Tirel Author

School psychologist, teacher and internet counselor from Estonia. Passionate about coffee, reading, dancing, and singing in the shower, much to the neighbors’ dismay. Counseling catchphrase: “It’s okay!“

The post 4 Actionable Methods to Improve Your Self-Awareness appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

What is emotional self-awareness? It’s the ability to recognize and understand our own emotions. People with this skill can identify small differences in their emotions and are aware of how their emotions impact their behavior, performance, and decisions.

If you’re looking to learn more examples of emotional self-awareness and methods to recognize, learn and develop this skill: you’ve come to the right place!

What makes emotional self-awareness so important?

You can only change things that are happening in your mind if you’re aware of them. Emotional self-awareness provides insights into your world so you can benefit from the changes you make.

For example, you can benefit from learning who you are and how your buttons are pushed by different things.

Furthermore, emotional self-awareness allows you to recognize situations when emotions like fear, frustration, and anger start to control you. These emotions are obviously negative for your happiness.

Therefore, it’s critical to understand how your emotions will react to negative events. Then you will know what exactly triggers your emotional reactions.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

4 Examples of emotional self-awareness

If the concept of emotional self-awareness is still a little vague for you, then let me help you. These are some rather common examples of emotional self-awareness, and I bet you’ll be able to recognize a few of them!

1. A manager who lacks emotional self-awareness

Let’s say there’s a manager working at a tech company who’s a bully but isn’t aware of it. He’s very competent at his job but lacks social skills. The manager doesn’t listen to his team members and gives special treatment to only people he likes.

Then, one day, some people confront this person about these issues. In a first reaction, the manager blames another person and gets angry at the accuser. He even blames the accuser for being part of the problem.

This is an example of a lack of emotional self-awareness. The bully manager is not aware of how his emotions are affecting his behavior and performance. That, in turn, is having a negative impact on his interactions with coworkers. He thinks he’s a victim of circumstance, which stops him from looking at the situation rationally.

This not only negatively affects the happiness of the manager himself, but also his coworkers. Just because someone pointed out a minor point of improvement.

2. Losing out on a job promotion

You and your colleague friend have been competing to receive a job promotion. Your friend ended up getting the promotion. You worked hard, but management made the decision that your friend should get the promotion.

At first, you’re disappointed you didn’t get the job. However, you then realize that your friend is happy about the promotion. So you decide that you’re also happy for him. You realize that it’s only good that your friend got the job instead of someone else.

You could have decided to be bitter and angry, but instead, you decided to find a positive angle. That requires a lot of emotional self-awareness, but will ultimately have a positive influence on your happiness.

3. An emotionally unaware and angry passenger

This is a fun example that happened to me some time ago when I flew back to the Netherlands from a weekend trip.

There was an angry passenger trying to get his ticket sorted at the counter. He became very angry because he thought the process was inefficient and was afraid he was going to miss his flight. This man wasn’t even aware of how upset he was. The entire line of people was just watching him go bananas at the poor lady behind the counter.

But more importantly, he was completely unaware of his tantrum and how it impacted the person he was yelling at.

And do you think his anger helped him get his anger sorted any faster? Nope. The lady tried her best to help him, but the man had crushed any sympathy she could have had for him by throwing a fit.

If he had been calmer and more diplomatic about the situation, he’d probably have his stuff sorted out much quicker.

4. Pointless road rage

The last example I want to show you is becoming more and more common nowadays: road rage.

It’s actually a perfect example of a lack of emotional self-awareness.

It happens more and more, as the traffic and stress of daily life seems to only increase. As a result, people become agitated in traffic, which results in a lot of mindless negativity.

Just search YouTube for the term “road rage” and you can watch hours of footage of people lacking emotional self-awareness.

4 benefits of emotional self-awareness

So we’ve discussed some examples of emotional self-awareness. You should have a pretty clear idea of what this concept is about.

1. Better react to factors outside your control

This involves various situations like difficult coworkers, traffic jams, bad customer service, etc. In your life, you’re eventually going to be in a bad situation because of uncontrollable factors.

These situations are simply a part of life, but they can be quite stressful.

We like to think we have the power to choose when to get emotional during those situations.

It’s debatable whether or not we should be logical or emotional in these situations. However, the most important issue is being aware of our emotions and how they affect others.

For example, you might find yourself yelling at a rude or annoying coworker for whatever reason. Your feelings and emotions might, in fact, be “natural” in these situations. However, they can also have negative results, like the co-worker getting upset or you getting in trouble for throwing a fit.

You should know by now that a better approach is to get in touch with your emotions.

Why is this coworker making you upset? What’s the most logical way to deal with this annoying or rude coworker? Is there a way you can be less emotional in responding to the situation?

It may take a little more effort, but it will undeniably result in a better – long-term – result for yourself. You have to look at the bigger picture here.

Sure, getting angry at this coworker might satisfy your short-term needs (you’re angry!). But by getting in touch with your emotions and remaining calm, you can reach a far better result in the long term.

2. Facing and dealing with disappointments

Unfortunately, life doesn’t always turn out the way we want.

It’s perfectly natural to feel upset when this happens. The key here is to take a mental inventory of how you feel. Think about how you’re feeling, the source of those feelings, and how those feelings are affecting you both physically and mentally.

Then it’s time to listen to your feelings. And I mean really listen.

This is critical since it will help you to gain insights into how to deal with feelings of disappointment. It doesn’t mean you have to be happy about your disappointments, but it will certainly help you to deal with the situation in a more effective way.

Because more often than not, disappointments are a result of high expectations.

• Could you have lowered your expectations before being disappointed?
• Were you a bit naive in hindsight?
• Can you learn something from your disappointment?

These are questions that all result in more emotional self-awareness. And the benefit here is that it allows you to deal with high expectations in the future.

We’ve written an entire article about how to deal with high expectations here.

3. Predicting the response of others

A large part of emotional self-awareness is being aware of our own emotions.

That includes recognizing, acknowledging, identifying, accepting, and reflecting on the feelings that we experience. As we know now, this is a complex and difficult process, but critical for getting in touch with our emotions.

However, this process also improves our ability to forecast feelings. And it just so happens that that skill can be used on our own emotions but also on that of others! As we become better at forecasting our own feelings, we also get better at figuring out how other people will feel as well.

More specifically, we realize that others will likely have the same feelings as we do in certain situations. If we experience sadness in certain situations, then it’s likely others will experience this feeling as well.

By being aware of this, you can better position yourself in relation to others.

Here’s an easy example:

You and your friend are late for a concert. You start feeling a bit angry and impatient. It makes sense, right?

Chances are your friend is feeling the exact same emotions. And he wants to vent about it. “Stupid traffic this!” and “Stupid red lights!”

Instead of jumping on the negativity bandwagon, you can now position yourself better in order to reach a more positive mindset together. Instead of allowing yourself to get angry as well, you can choose to think about positive things instead.

And you can now try to turn your – still angry – friend on that same positivity bandwagon. You can probably see how this creates a better and happier situation for both of you, right?

4. Higher emotional intelligence

The key is to do an accurate self-assessment to get the biggest emotional intelligence (EI) boosts.

To put it another way, it’s important for a person to have a very precise understanding of how their feelings affect their behavior, performance, and mood. They should also be aware of how these things affect others’ moods.

It’s also important for people to think about their strengths and weaknesses in terms of their emotional intelligence What am I good at? In what situations do my emotions get out of hand more easily? There are various measurement tools you can use to determine the answer to these questions.

We’ll talk more about these tools later!

Anyway, another great benefit of higher emotional intelligence is that it helps to create an environment in which you can receive honest feedback better.

Instead of getting angry about constructive feedback, you can decide to accept it for what it is: good feedback. Even though your emotions are pushing you into an angry mindset, you can recognize this and then stop it from happening.

That’s a win-win!

That’s because people are concerned about your personal and professional development and instead of blocking their potentially painful words, you can accept them as lessons and use them to grow as a person. This way, you and your peers can grow as a whole, without any negative emotions.

6 ways to improve your emotional self-awareness

Now that you’ve seen all these examples and benefits of emotional self-awareness, you might be thinking: how can I develop this skill?

This section shows actionable and practical methods on how to improve your emotional self-awareness right away!

1. Keep a diary

The main benefit of maintaining a journal or diary is that it puts your thoughts onto paper. We can then read and study what we’ve written, which can, in turn, result in better awareness of our emotions.

The journal/diary should center not only on what you’re feeling but also on what you’re thinking. It can even address issues like your beliefs and weaknesses.

Interestingly, there are studies that find that people who maintain a journal have a better-developed sense of emotional self-awareness.

It may seem that maintaining a journal isn’t enough to boost emotional self-awareness. The key is to maintain it in an effective way. A good option is to write your thoughts and feelings on issues that have had a big effect on your life.

This isn’t an easy task and can cause some short-term stress. However, experts explain that in the long-term this approach can result in a better mood.

2. Meditate!

Do you want to know yourself and your emotions better? You’ve made it this far in this article, so you probably should by now!

If so, then one of the best options is meditation. In fact, this practice has been effective for some of the world’s most successful and influential people.

You can meditate in various ways to achieve better self-awareness of your emotions. Some of the best times to meditate are in the early morning and right before bedtime. This is when your mind is clearer, so it’s easier to focus on how you feel.

Meditation is effective for self-awareness because it requires us to stop thinking for a while.

You should know that meditation comes in a lot of shapes and forms. You don’t have to do traditional meditation, sitting on a chair with your eyes closed. There are other forms that work just as well, like walking in the park, tending your garden, or listening to some quiet music.

Research shows meditation can provide many health benefits in addition to emotional self-awareness. They include lower stress levels, a better immune system, and more stable mental health.

We’ve written a complete article about the benefits of meditation here!

3. Practice yoga

This might not be for everyone, but practicing yoga can be an excellent way to get more in touch with your emotions.

Yoga can be used in different ways. It can be a spiritual practice and also a type of exercise. The process involves using stretches and muscle flexibility with deep breathing. You can use different variations for different goals. By doing so, you can learn more about your personality, motives, character, passions, and desires.

It’s also obviously good for your physical health. This way, you can kill two birds with one stone, so to speak!

If you need more convincing, we recently published this in-depth post on how yoga can improve your mental well-being.

4. Slow down!

What does eating or walking slowly have to do with emotional self-awareness? It’s about slowing down for a brief moment. This allows us to focus more on things like how we feel, which is something we tend to forget in our busy lives.

You can do some basic things like taking a walk in the park or just sit in front of your window to look outside. You could also spend a whole hour eating your meal.

In fact, studies show that slow movement not only can benefit your mind but also your body. In fact, Psychology Today reports that more pain clinics are now offering slow movement as a self-awareness therapy.

Does this mean it’s time to cancel your gym membership? Not really, but some studies show that slow movement (including yoga!) can help reduce depression, pain, and disability.

Not convinced yet?

Slowing down for even a part of the day can allow us to focus on awareness of our emotions. Instead of gobbling down meals and rushing around all day looking at the next meetings on your smartphone, try taking it slow for a while.

Why does it work? Experts don’t fully understand the process, but slow movement provides benefits related to more relaxation and less stress. This, in turn, allows you to focus more on your current emotional state.

And by now, you should be acquainted with the many benefits of being emotionally self-aware!

5. Breath deeply

Breath deeply? What?

As simple as it may sound, this technique has a lot of unseen benefits.

In fact, activities like meditation and yoga often focus on the process of deep breathing. This can be effective in clearing your mind, which in turn allows you to focus better on your current emotional state.

Fun fact:

People take an average of about 23,000 breaths/day. We don’t think much about breathing while we’re awake. Deep breathing exercises can allow you to live in the moment and focus on how and why you have certain emotions.

6. Talk with a counselor or therapist

Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you become better aware of your feelings and thoughts. They are trained to help their patients get in touch with their emotions.

For example, we often try to avoid negative emotions, which may be caused by things from our past experiences. A professional therapist/counselor will have the know-how and skills to help patients figure out how they’re truly feeling.

In essence, these people have mastered the art of emotional self-awareness. They have such a deep knowledge of emotions and self-awareness that they’re able to help you develop your own version of this skill! This is just one of the benefits, which you can read more about in this article.

Emotional intelligence and self-awareness

As you might have noticed, there are a lot of similarities between self-awareness, emotional intelligence and being emotionally self-aware.

How are they similar/different?

While emotional intelligence (EI) and self-awareness are similar, there are some clear differences.

Emotional intelligence is a broad term that refers to different abilities related to perceiving emotions accurately and providing an appropriate and effective response.

It involves different abilities, including recognizing your feelings and others’ feelings and distinguishing different emotions.

Emotional self-awareness, on the other hand, is related to the ability to know what you’re thinking or feeling. The overlap of these two terms is that self-awareness is needed to recognize and name your feelings.

Then there’s self-actualization. This is the ability to use your abilities in the best way possible. Self-awareness is needed to achieve self-actualization. The former is involved since you must recognize your gifts and determine how effectively you’re using them.

Role in today’s world

Developing self-awareness in order to boost emotional intelligence is increasingly important in today’s world. Here’s why:

When you understand your emotions, you are able to control them instead of them controlling you. This is critical in the modern world when everyday life can result in stressful situations.

Nearly eight decades ago US President Franklin Roosevelt stated that people are “prisoners of their own minds” and have the power to “become free” at any time. This advice is more important than ever when rage and rants are a major part of our everyday lives.

Instead of being a prisoner of this negativity, we should be able to free our minds and focus on more positive things instead!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

After reading this post, you should know that you can take control of your thoughts and emotions! And this skill is called emotional self-awareness. As you now know, this skill can help us respond appropriately to any situation we’re in. When you recognize and understand your feelings/emotions better, you can also understand your thoughts and actions better. This prevents destructive results from inappropriate responses.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Examples of Emotional Self Awareness And Why You Need It appeared first on Tracking Happiness.