55 Articles on Social Happiness With Tips and Examples https://www.trackinghappiness.com/category/blog/social-happiness/ Fri, 29 Dec 2023 15:37:28 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.2 https://www.trackinghappiness.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/TH-Site-Icon-2022-1.png 55 Articles on Social Happiness With Tips and Examples https://www.trackinghappiness.com/category/blog/social-happiness/ 32 32 7 Tips to Help You Let Go of Someone and Move Forward https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-let-go-of-someone/ https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-let-go-of-someone/#comments Fri, 29 Dec 2023 15:37:26 +0000 https://www.trackinghappiness.com/?p=14893 There is no easy way to let someone go. But if you follow the steps in this article, you can cut ties in a way that allows you to experience new freedom and sustainable joy in life.

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Have you known for months or maybe even years that you needed to let that one person in your life go? But you hang on to hope that things will change and you can avoid the ache that comes from having to cut ties with a relationship that once meant so much to you.

I’ve been in your shoes one too many times. Whether it’s a significant other or a close friend, letting go of people can be one of the most painful life experiences. However, when you fully let go of that person, you are gifting yourself the love and healing that you deserve. And letting go can open the door to new opportunities and healthy relationships that fill up your cup instead of always causing it to spill over.

If you’re ready-and I mean really ready- to find the freedom that lies on the other side when you let that person go, then this article is for you. We will cover tangible steps you can take today to finally let go.

Why letting go is tough

When I have to let someone go, there are typically one of two feelings that I am afraid of.

One of those feelings that I desperately want to avoid is immense grief and the other is concern that I may regret the decision down the line. In reality, neither of these emotions are a good reason to hold on to someone when you know it’s not good for either of you.

Logic tells you to let the person go, but science has even found that after letting someone go the areas of your brain associated with sadness have increased activity. And no one likes to feel sad. This makes it terribly challenging to actually disassociate with the relationship.

Another study found that anxiety, depression, and sleep disturbances all increase initially after letting go of a person you love.

It’s no wonder that despite logic telling us to make one decision, we avoid letting go to try to stave off the pain that comes with loss.

Why it’s important to sometimes let someone go

At this point in the article, you might be saying, “So why in the world would I want to let someone go?”

It’s appealing to avoid all the potential pain and negative emotions that can come right after a loss. But the long-term benefits definitely outweigh the initial blunt impact.

Research indicates that unhealthy relationships have the potential to reduce the effectiveness of your immune system. This means that your unhealthy relationship could literally decrease your lifespan and increase your risk of developing a disease.

Not only does your physical health improve after letting go, but you also lower your risk for depression. A study in 2009 found that problematic interpersonal relationships in the work environment significantly increased the odds that the person would develop depression.

I don’t know about you, but I like it when my immune system does its job well and I certainly don’t fancy depression. When I’m tempted to hold on to someone I shouldn’t, I have to remind myself against my own better judgment that I will be happier down the road after wading my way through the initial suffering of the loss.

💡 By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control. 👇

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7 ways to let someone go

It’s time to grab your shears because we’re going to explore five ways you can cut ties with the relationships that no longer serve you and your potential.

1. Be clear about why you’re letting them go

Sometimes when we’re struggling to let someone go, it’s because we haven’t taken the time to clearly establish why we’re letting them go.

You can’t just give vague reasons like, “I know what my boyfriend and I have isn’t healthy.” You have to pinpoint exactly why it is that you need to let them go, so you have enough willpower to actually do it.

Towards the end of my 4-year relationship with a boyfriend, I absolutely knew that it was time to end things. But I tiptoed my way around breaking up for six months until my friend sat me down and forced me to say out loud all of the things that were not quite right with the relationship.

Saying it out loud and defining what was wrong made me finally take the plunge to end things. And after the heartbreak settled, I felt like a million-ton weight had been lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe again.

2. Distance yourself

This can be so stinking hard if you’re super close to the person.

And yes, this includes distancing yourself from them on social media. Because we all know that you won’t be able to resist the urge to creepily stalk your ex on Instagram for months on end if you don’t press that unfollow button.

If you don’t put physical and social distance between you and the person, you are bound to end up connecting again. And if you’ve made the decision that this person is not worth holding on to, you need to stick to your guns.

And it’s true what they say. Out of sight, out of mind. When you distance yourself, you make it easier to avoid falling back into old relationship habits and traps.

3. Let yourself feel your feelings

Of all the tips in this article, this is the one I personally struggle with the most.

I am the queen of distracting myself to avoid “feeling my feelings”. But when you let go of someone, you are in a sense experiencing a trauma.

And if you don’t allow yourself to feel the grief that accompanies trauma, you are bound to bottle it up deep down and this can affect your healthy relationships.

I remember one time after I cut ties with a good friend I tried to just stay busy and move on with my life. But because I never took the time to process my emotions, my close relationships started to notice I was distant when we would hang out.

Deep down, I was afraid that I would have to let go of them, too. And because I didn’t allow myself to process my emotions after the loss of that friend, it subconsciously affected how I viewed my other relationships.

So take the time to get all up in your “feelers”. I really mean it. And if that means drowning in a pint of ice cream and cuddling your dog for a month straight, I won’t judge you.

4. Dig deeper into your healthy relationships

After you let someone go, it can be easy to forget that you still have so many incredible interpersonal relationships in your life.

And now that you’ve freed up some energy, it’s a great time to dive deep into your healthy connections.

I’ve always found that after the loss of a relationship, I grow closer to my loved ones. My relationship with my mother didn’t truly blossom until I went through a nasty breakup.

Through her support during that rough time, I came to know her on a deeper level and learned how her past experiences shaped who she is today.

There are always going to be people in this world who want to engage in meaningful relationships with you. Don’t let the loss of one bad seed blind you to all the good that surrounds you.

5. Focus on self-care

After losing someone you care about, it’s important to take time to invest in taking care of yourself.

The energy and time you devote to that relationship can take a toll on your mental and physical well-being.

In order to give yourself the fresh start you deserve, you need to make sure your needs are met. The following are some of my tried-and-true forms of self-care that I rely on after the loss of a close relationship:

  • Hot bubble bath with a glass of wine.
  • Making sure I get 8 or more solid hours of sleep.
  • Booking a vacation that I’ve been putting off.
  • Making sure I get at least 20 minutes of sunlight daily.
  • Watching cheesy movies to cheer myself up.
  • Moving my body in whatever way feels good to me that day.

It really doesn’t matter what your self-care looks like. It’s just important that you put it into action after letting someone go so you can effectively heal and move on.

6. Reflect on past lessons

When trying to let go of someone, it’s helpful to reflect on the lessons learned from the relationship. Ask yourself what this relationship has taught you about your needs, boundaries, and values. Recognize the growth that has come from your experiences, both good and bad.

This doesn’t mean dwelling on the past but rather acknowledging it as a stepping stone to a better understanding of yourself and your future relationships.

Write down the key lessons you’ve learned from the relationship in a journal. Consider how these insights can guide you in future relationships and personal growth. Whenever you find yourself missing the person, refer to these lessons as reminders of why moving forward is beneficial for your well-being.

7. Reinvest in your interests

Letting go of someone often means you’ll have more time and energy to invest in yourself. Revisit old hobbies and interests that you might have neglected or explore new activities that you’ve always wanted to try. This not only helps to distract you from the pain of letting go but also builds your identity and happiness independent of the relationship.

Make a list of activities you love or have wanted to try, and commit to doing one each week.

Whether it’s painting, hiking, learning a new language, or cooking a new recipe, immersing yourself in these activities will boost your mood and self-esteem. Share your experiences with friends or family, or join a community or class to further enrich your engagement and form new connections.

💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail Clean

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Wrapping up

There is no easy way to let someone go. If I could wave a magic wand to make the pain go away, I would. But if you follow the steps in this article, you can cut ties in a way that allows you to experience new freedom and sustainable joy in life. And when you finally let that person go, you can hold on tight to the people and experiences in life that matter most.

What do you think? Have you ever had to let someone go and found it extremely difficult? I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments below.

Ashley Kaiser AuthorLinkedIn Logo

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

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7 Ways to Stop Being a Pushover (And Why This Matters) https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-not-be-a-pushover/ https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-not-be-a-pushover/#respond Sat, 23 Dec 2023 08:29:18 +0000 https://www.trackinghappiness.com/?p=17250 Being a pushover limits your potential for success and happiness. Learn how to take charge of your life and stop being a pushover! Here are 7 tips to help you get started.

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Do other people take advantage of you? If so, how does this make you feel? Being a pushover can cause a downward spiral in our sense of well-being. It becomes self-perpetuating; the more we want to be accepted and liked, the more of a pushover we become. 

Pushovers are likely to suffer from stress and several mental health complaints. When we learn to advocate for ourselves, we demand respect. This respect helps us build our self-esteem and encourages us to interact assertively. Only when we climb out of the pushover barrel can we genuinely claim life as our own. 

This article will discuss what it means to be a pushover. We will also suggest 7 ways to stop being a pushover.

What makes someone a pushover?

A pushover is someone who is “easily persuaded or influenced or defeated.” 

In other words, a pushover is someone who is easily manipulated by others. And believe me, plenty of people out there will feast on the perceived weakness of a pushover.

There are many reasons we become a pushover.

Many pushovers are trying to keep the peace and avoid conflict. They may also believe others will like them more if they go along with things. But in truth, pushovers are often disrespected. 

Pushovers often suffer with:  

  • Low self-esteem. 
  • Learned helplessness. 
  • Anxiety. 
  • Depression. 
  • Toxic or abusive relationships. 

If you are unsure if you are a pushover, here is a list of some tell-tale pushover signs: 

  • You struggle to say “no.” 
  • Others ask for favors from you regularly but rarely offer to help you. 
  • You feel the need to prove yourself. 
  • You apologize regularly and unnecessarily. 
  • You avoid giving your honest opinion. 
  • You often put yourself down. 

If you identify with some of these traits, you are likely already a pushover. But fear not; we can rectify that. Keep reading for tips on how to stop being a pushover. 

The negative consequences of being a pushover

There’s a bit of a chicken and egg thing going on. When we are a pushover, we are more susceptible to experiencing negative mental well-being.

But as discussed above, those of us with various mental vulnerabilities are more likely to be pushovers in the first place.

Being a pushover hurts our mental health, as it can lead to:

  • Increased stress levels. 
  • Depression. 
  • Resentment
  • Losing yourself. 
  • Anxiety. 

All these ailments can affect our relationships and our ability to succeed in the workplace. 

Ironically people who are pushovers often want to please others and have an overpowering need for others to like them. Yet, the pushover often finds themselves forgotten, isolated, and lonely. 

An interesting scientific study describes how a neural network in the brain activates during disagreements with others. This activation can create a feeling of discomfort. The study, therefore, suggests that those who are pushovers have a greater sensitivity to this activation. 

Luckily neuroplasticity means the brain can change and adapt. This neuroplasticity means we can break the pushover cycle.

💡 By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

7 ways to stop being a pushover  

Maybe you recognize you are already a pushover. Or perhaps you want to make sure you don’t become a pushover. If you follow these 7 tips, you will learn how to stop others from walking all over you. 

We must show ourselves respect if we expect others to do the same. After all, others observe how we treat ourselves and emulate our example. It’s time to stand up for yourself and demonstrate to others what sort of behavior you both accept and tolerate. 

1. Start saying “no”

One of the primary symptoms of being a pushover is the inability to say “no.” 

Pushovers find themselves agreeing to things they don’t want to do. They take on more work and regularly put themselves out for others. 

I was once a pushover, and I am in the process of rectifying this. My most challenging amendment is learning to say “no.”

When we say “no” to something we don’t want, it allows us to say “yes” to something we want. 

It’s time to try this out. Think of all the times you have gone along with something for fear of saying “no.” 

  • You don’t have to go to the social event. 
  • You don’t have to look after your friends’ children.
  • You don’t have to stay at work late. 
  • You don’t have to go to your parents for Christmas. 

It’s time to step out from the shadow of serving others. 

2. Learn to be assertive  

When we become more assertive in how we conduct ourselves and interact with others, we automatically demand more respect. 

Think of the person with a messy flatmate. A pushover may ignore the mess. The flatmate may even convince the pushover to clean it up. 

When we learn to be assertive, we can confidently look the flatmate in the eye and tell them their mess is not our problem. We can ask the messy flatmate to show us respect by keeping communal areas clean and tidy. 

A vital way to convey assertive behavior is through body language. 

  • Stand tall, chest out and shoulders back. 
  • Hold eye contact. 
  • Move with purpose. 
  • Use your hands to express yourself. 
  • Relax your facial muscles

Another essential assertion tip is the way we use our voice. This article outlines the tricks actors use with their voices when stepping into an assertive character. 

  • Higher pitched. 
  • Loud.
  • Clear. 
  • Fast. 
  • No hesitation. 
  • No monotone. 

You got this. Stand up tall, and don’t forget the importance of eye contact. Speak loudly and clearly to give assertion to your words. 

If you need more tips, here’s our article on how to be more assertive.

3. Ask for what you want 

This tip is a difficult one. 

Not many of us are adept at asking for what we want. But when you ask for what you want and learn to put your needs first, you strip away the likelihood of being seen as a pushover. 

Build your self-confidence by asking for what you want. Grab hold of the steering wheel and control the direction of your journey.

Asking for what we want is a fundamental right. I would also suggest it is an essential need for our well-being. 

4. Express yourself  

Pushovers suppress their true feelings. They don’t speak up if someone wrongs them. They don’t defend themself when blamed for something. Pushovers allow others to continue hurting them when they don’t express their feelings. 

People are not telepathic. Unless we learn to express ourselves, we can’t expect them to know how we feel. 

It’s time to get comfortable with having difficult conversations. I recently expressed my hurt to a friend who only offered criticism regarding my creative work, never encouragement or positive comments. My expression of feelings led to an open and honest conversation and has brought us closer. 

5. Stop apologizing   

Pushovers apologize all the time. They apologize for other people’s behavior as well as their own. They apologize when there is no need for an apology. 

Do you apologize too much? Challenge yourself to be aware of how often you apologize in a day. Assess the circumstances in which you apologize. Does the situation merit an apology? 

Over-apologizing can even seep into our written word. 

If you are a pushover, I guarantee you have started an e-mail with “sorry to bother you….”

Here’s a tip: learn to say thank you instead of apologizing. This play with language is empowering and will also help stop you from being a pushover. 

  • “Thank you for waiting for me” instead of “sorry I’m late.”
  • “Thank you for taking the time to read this” instead of “sorry to bother you.” 
  • “Thank you for the lift” instead of “sorry for sending you out of your way.”
  • “Thank you for thinking of me, but I don’t have the capacity” instead of “sorry, I don’t have time.” 

I think you get the picture. In most situations, we apologize; we can say “thank you” instead.

6. Focus on assertive communication

Being assertive is key to not being a pushover, and it starts with how you communicate. Assertive communication is about expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs directly, honestly, and respectfully.

It’s not about being aggressive or passive, but about being clear and standing up for yourself while still respecting others.

Start by practicing ‘I’ statements, such as “I feel” or “I need,” to express yourself without blaming or criticizing others. For instance, if someone is overloading you with tasks, instead of a passive “I guess I can do more,” assert “I am currently at capacity and need to prioritize my assigned tasks.”

Also, work on your non-verbal communication. Maintain eye contact, stand tall, and use a firm but friendly tone. These cues reinforce the message you’re sending and help you appear more confident.

By practicing assertive communication, you’ll find it becomes easier to navigate situations without succumbing to being a pushover.

7. Practice self-compassion

Often, being a pushover stems from a lack of self-worth or an excess of self-criticism. To counteract this, engage in self-compassion.

Start by recognizing your common humanity, understanding that everyone makes mistakes and that you’re not alone in your struggles.

Next, be mindful of your inner dialogue. Replace self-criticism with a more compassionate, understanding tone. Instead of thinking, “I’m so weak for not standing up for myself,” try, “I’m learning to be stronger and assertive, and it’s okay to take this one step at a time.”

Lastly, be kind to yourself. Treat yourself as you would a good friend in moments of failure or disappointment. This shift in mindset can reduce the emotional need to please others and increase your resilience in maintaining your stance.

💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail Clean

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Wrapping up 

We may think we are making ourselves more likable by being a pushover. But in reality, we are permitting others to disrespect us. Stop allowing this behavior to negatively impact your happiness and start learning to not be a pushover! You hold the power to change.

Do you sometimes feel a pushover? What’s the tip that inspires you most to change your behavior? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall AuthorLinkedIn Logo

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 7 Ways to Stop Being a Pushover (And Why This Matters) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

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7 Tips to Be More Sympathetic (and Why It’s Important!) https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-be-more-sympathetic/ https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-be-more-sympathetic/#comments Thu, 19 Oct 2023 11:11:54 +0000 https://www.trackinghappiness.com/?p=17116 Sympathy will help you form and develop meaningful connections, leading to a happier life. But how can you actually become more sympathetic? Here are 7 tips to help you!

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Have you ever felt like life kicked you when you were down? The last thing you want in moments like that is for someone to tell you to suck it up or that it’s no big deal. In this case, wouldn’t you want that other person to be a bit more sympathetic?

Learning to be more sympathetic towards others can make all the difference when it comes to your relationships and helps promote your own emotional awareness. When you lack sympathy, you tend to cultivate a selfish viewpoint that leads to social isolation and a lack of meaningful relationships.

This article will teach you steps you can take to relate to others on a deeper level and develop genuine sympathy for everyone you meet.

What is sympathy?

Sympathy is a word we hear thrown around all the time, but what does it mean? Turns out it’s so much more than the title of a cool song from the Goo Goo Dolls.

To put it simply, sympathy is the ability to feel and relate to another person’s emotions. This sense of relatedness is thought to help the person who is in distress to feel a bit better and feel supported.

Interestingly, research indicates that females are generally better at exhibiting sympathy relative to males. The same study also found that young people are generally more responsive to another’s distress than an older person might be.

Speaking from my personal experience, I think we all could use a lesson on how to be more sympathetic, regardless of our age or gender. I tend to rush around each day wrapped up in my to-do list and my own problems.

But every time I take a moment to be sympathetic to the needs of others, I’m pulled out of my own bubble. And being sympathetic reminds me that through connection to others we all find deeper meaning in our own existence.

And you have to admit, nothing makes you feel quite as wonderful inside as helping out someone else.

💡 By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Benefits of being sympathetic

While being sympathetic towards others generally sounds like the kind and altruistic thing to do, it also has some science-backed benefits for you.

A study in 2016 found that being more sympathetic can enhance your creativity when it comes to problem-solving. By relating to others, you are able to open your mind to new ways of seeing things which in turn improves your overall creativity.

Beyond just improving your creativity, research has also found that in cultures where individuals are more sympathetic the population is generally happier and healthier.

As someone who could always use a bit more creativity and definitely strives to be happy, I think it’s clear that improving my overall sympathy towards others is a good idea.

On a personal level, I know that when I’m sympathetic toward my loved ones it strengthens the relationship.

It wasn’t until my best friend went through a particularly rough situation that we became close. Sympathizing with her during that time created a connection that I don’t think could have been formed otherwise.

Needless to say, being sympathetic may be a key part of finding your own happiness and contributing to society as a whole.

7 ways to be more sympathetic

Let’s dive into tips you can take to help take your sympathy up a notch and deepen your connection to those around you.

1. Practice active listening

I think we all like to think we’re great listeners. But if you think about your last conversation, how many times did you interrupt the other person?

I find we tend to interrupt individuals even more when they’re describing a problem or hard time they’re going through. It’s like we want to step in and “fix it” for them.

The problem with this is by interrupting or not listening well, the person feels like you’re not being understanding of their emotions and needs.

Oh boy, do I have a prime example of this one. Just the other day my husband asked me how my day was at work. It had been a tough day and I began to describe why I was feeling that way.

He interrupted me while I was about two seconds into my description with his thoughts. All this did was irritate me. At that point, I no longer wanted to share how I was feeling and I just wanted to get away from him.

Active listening opens the door to a sympathetic response. If you’re not giving the person time and space to communicate, then you’re not on track for connecting to what they’re feeling.

Here are more tips on how to be a better listener.

2. Pay attention to others’ emotions

A great way to improve your overall sympathy for others is to become aware of how others are feeling in the first place.

Even when people are not verbally communicating their feelings, you can glean a lot from their body language.

Now I am by no means an observant person who gets this right all the time. In fact, most of the time I’m rushing so quickly from one thing to the next that I forget to look at the world around me.

However, in this instance, I noticed at work that one of the assistive personnel was sitting slouched over and could barely keep her eyes open. It was pretty clear something wasn’t quite right.

I simply went up and asked her how she was doing. That opened the door to her telling me about some familial stress that was going on in her life.

By being aware of her emotions, I was able to show sympathy and this has helped foster our workplace relationship.

Become aware of both verbal and nonverbal communication that communicates emotional well-being. This simple tip alone can help you be more sympathetic in all areas of your life.

3. Flip your perspective upside down

Sometimes you have to be willing to change your perspective to be better at sympathizing with those around you.

This tip is super useful for moments when you may find it hard to sympathize with someone. However, it’s important to remember that the person is in need of sympathy because they are generally feeling hurt.

I was having a conversation with a friend about how he couldn’t find a job the other day. A big piece of me wanted to say I thought it was ridiculous that he was having a hard time because there are so many physical therapist positions available.

Instead of saying the first thing that came to my mind, I listened to him and tried to put myself in his shoes for a bit. I remembered that he has two young kids and needs specific hours because of daycare for his kids.

I also remembered that he has significant debt in the form of student loans, car payments, house payments, and so on and so forth.

When I took into consideration all these factors, it became apparent he couldn’t just accept any old PT job out there. He needed one that fit his needs.

This shift in perspective helped me be more sympathetic towards his struggle of finding a job and helped prevent me from looking like an ignorant jerk in the process.

4. Don’t try to be a problem solver

This tip is a bit on the tricky side. It’s important to remember when someone is telling you about their issues they are not necessarily seeking your advice in relation to a solution.

If the person is actively soliciting your advice, then by all means feel free to give it.

But when you automatically assume the role of “problem solver” when someone is describing their feelings, you lose your ability to sympathize with them.

In many cases, the person just wants to communicate their feelings and to be understood in return.

And when you take on the role of “problem solver”, you can inadvertently come off as insensitive.

Just let yourself be with the other person while they communicate their needs and feel their feelings. It’s bound to be more therapeutic for both of you.

5. Ask questions

One of the easiest ways to demonstrate more sympathy is to get curious. Ask questions about the person’s situation or feelings.

By asking questions, you are demonstrating that you’re interested in their situation and want to understand it fully. This inherently helps you connect with the other person.

Remember my friend who was having a hard time finding a job? When I was having a conversation with him, I started to ask him a bunch of questions about why he felt the way he did.

That’s when he went deep into all the contributing factors to his situation. I also asked him what he thought potential solutions would be.

Throwing that question back at him made him realize that I wasn’t coming off as though I had the answer to his problems. Instead, it helped me understand where his headspace was in the process of finding a job and we both were able to better understand what he needed.

If you find yourself struggling to sympathize with someone, start asking more questions. Oftentimes you’re just a few questions away from being able to relate to someone on a whole new level.

6. Deepen your understanding with emotional journaling

While sympathy is about recognizing another’s emotions, delving into your own feelings can enhance your ability to connect.

By understanding your emotions, you can better relate to what others are going through. One effective way to achieve this is through emotional journaling. By documenting your daily feelings and experiences, you not only become more self-aware but also develop a richer emotional vocabulary to resonate with others.

Dedicate a few minutes each evening to write in an emotion-focused journal. Describe an event from your day and the feelings it evoked. Over time, this practice will fine-tune your emotional radar, making you more attuned to the feelings of others.

7. Practice the art of reflective listening

True connection goes beyond just hearing words; it’s about understanding the emotions behind them. Reflective listening is a technique where you mirror back what someone has shared, ensuring you’ve grasped their feelings accurately.

For instance, if a friend talks about a stressful day, you might respond, “It seems like today was quite overwhelming for you. Did I get that right?” This approach not only confirms your understanding but also provides an avenue for deeper exploration of their emotions.

Next time you’re in a conversation, try the “mirror and confirm” technique. After listening, mirror back a brief summary of what you’ve understood and seek confirmation. This simple practice can lead to richer, more empathetic conversations.

💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

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This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Wrapping up

At the end of the day, we could all use a bit of extra sympathy when it comes to how we interact with our fellow man. The tips from this article will help you form and develop meaningful connections in all areas of your life by sharpening your sympathy skills. You may just find that all it takes is a bit of sympathy to help pick someone back up after life has kicked them down.

Do you find it hard to be more sympathetic? What has helped you become more sympathetic? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser AuthorLinkedIn Logo

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

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5 Tips to Build a Strong Bond With Someone (With Examples) https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-build-a-strong-bond-with-someone/ https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-build-a-strong-bond-with-someone/#respond Wed, 04 Oct 2023 13:53:00 +0000 https://www.trackinghappiness.com/?p=21727 It's important to be surrounded by people you can bond with. So how do you bond with others? Here are 5 simple tips to build a strong bond.

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I believe we are all seeking to be understood. Creating strong bonds with someone is part of the path to feeling understood. When we feel understood, we feel seen and validated and that we matter. 

I have stronger bonds now than I’ve ever had. Friendship is important, and I value my close bonds with incredible people. These bonds haven’t fallen into my lap. I’ve worked hard at cultivating them. 

In this article, I will combine my own experience with science to outline what it means to bond with others and how you can create strong bonds with someone. 

What does it mean to bond with someone? 

A strong adhesive or glue creates a bond between two items, sticking them firmly together. 

The Collins dictionary suggests a bond between people is: 

“…a strong feeling of friendship, love, or shared beliefs and experiences that unites them.”

Think of some of your strongest connections. What did you bond over? We often bond over common areas, including shared political opinions, hobbies, interests, and life experiences. 

When we bond with someone, we feel drawn to them. There’s a safety that comes with this bond. We are more likely to feel comfortable being authentic and sharing personal information. We also benefit from a boost in self-esteem, knowing that someone has our back and values us. 

The benefits of strong interpersonal bonds

Social Psychology notes from BC Campus suggest that “Forming and maintaining satisfying relationships makes us feel good about ourselves.” 

We’ve all heard the cliche of feeling lonely in a crowd. That’s a great example of being surrounded by people but not being bonded to anyone. 

When we build bonds with other people, we alleviate loneliness and feelings of isolation. While our bonds with others are not tangible things, we benefit enormously from knowing they are there. 

I have built myself a safety net of interconnected relationships. My strong bonds with friends have helped me feel worthy and boosted my self-confidence. I am significantly happier today than in the days of loose and fickle relationships. And I do not doubt that my enhanced happiness is down to the quality of my social bonds. 

💡 By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control. 👇

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Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

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5 ways to build a strong bond with someone

We know the importance of social connections to enhance our well-being and self-esteem, but how do we build strong bonds to benefit from them? 

Here are our top five tips for how to build a strong bond with someone. 

1. Spend time together 

They say it takes 140 hours for a good friendship to develop. So, to get to this point, we need to spend time together. Ideally, this would be in person, but in this day and age, this isn’t always possible. Video and voice calls and other online interactions count. I feel bonded to some people whom I have never met in person. 

Interestingly, when we stop spending time together, our bonds can dissipate. Of all the friendships I have lost, one key commonality stands out. We didn’t spend much or any time together. Personally, I don’t think meeting up once a year and talking about our past is enough to build cohesion. But it depends on the relationship. 

I have one friend who I cherish deeply. We can go years without seeing each other due to geographical limitations. But when we meet up, we aren’t restricted by conversation of the past. We build new memories by sharing new adventures and sharing our thoughts and ideas with each other. It’s nourishing. 

2. Be romantic 

I consider myself a romantic friend, which is important in building bonds. 

It’s not just about remembering birthdays and sending a note at Christmas. It’s about remembering dates that are important to someone, maybe seeing something that reminds you of them and sending it to them, just because.

We can be romantic in a platonic way. All it comes down to is being attentive and thoughtful. 

It feels incredible to be on the receiving end of a romantic friend. We feel special and listened to. There’s something profoundly uplifting in receiving small gestures from someone. 

Here are some ways you can be a romantic friend and deepen your bond with someone. 

  • Remember special dates, from job interviews to anniversaries, and message them. 
  • Send them a card with a few words of how much you value them. 
  • Take the lead and arrange a meal or day out for the two of you. 
  • Don’t be shy in telling them how awesome they are. 

3. Listen 

Many of us hear, but how many of us listen? 

In this episode of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast hosted by Glennan Doyle, five tips are suggested to improve conversation skills. These are: 

  • Stop interrupting.
  • Be aware of talk time.
  • Keep confidences.
  • Know when to make it about you.
  • Ask better questions.

The strand of commonality connecting all five areas is our ability to listen. 

Interrupting conversations leaves others feeling unheard and undervalued. Similarly, hogging the conversation suggests we are more important and is offputting to others. 

The point that stands out the most here is the skill of knowing when to make a conversation about you. 

I recently chatted with an acquaintance; we shared stories of difficulties we’d experienced in close friendships. I told her that things with my ex-best friend were barbed and peculiar for six years before our untangling. The person I was speaking with didn’t comment on that. She simply replied, “Well, for me, it was 12 years,” that was it; I was shut up. 

You see, one-upmanship stifles conversation. That whole “Oh, you think that’s bad…”

I didn’t feel bonded to this acquaintance. I didn’t feel seen or heard. I felt she was trying to push herself onto me and engage in some sort of weird competition as to who had it worse. 

My current motto is that compassion is never found in comparison

To build a strong bond with someone, listen to them, validate their words, and ask follow-up questions. Don’t immediately turn the conversation to yourself. 

4. Prioritise honesty 

Honesty can be difficult. But if you aren’t honest, you can’t build strong bonds; it’s as simple as that. 

I have a friend of 28 years. While I love her dearly, I feel she holds me at arm’s length, I rarely get much honesty from her. 

What do I mean when I talk about honesty? This friend of 28 years is notorious for being flakey and canceling on me. She comes out with all sorts of excuses; if I’m honest, I’ve checked out. 

Another friend has canceled on me for a similar amount of time, but she is honest and gives me reasons, not excuses. She tells me where her head is and how she can’t face going out into the world. She shares her difficulties. 

Being honest with each other leads to stronger bonds and a deeper understanding. 

5. Embrace vulnerability 

Vulnerability is similar to the importance of honesty, as outlined above. But it goes one step further. 

When we are vulnerable with another person and open up about our fears, doubts, worries, and insecurities, we show our human side, and this very act of vulnerability creates a safe space that encourages the other person to be vulnerable. 

A mutual trade-off of vulnerabilities ensues. And this is bonding. 

Brene Brown is a leading expert on vulnerability. In this piece on vulnerability, Brene Brown is quoted as saying, “Vulnerability is key to connection because it is the courage to be open to another human.”

Many of us avoid vulnerability for self-preservation purposes. But the truth is, denying ourselves vulnerability is more an act of self-sabotage than self-preservation. 

💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail Clean

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Wrapping up 

Bonding with others is an essential part of being human. We are all different, and some may need more bonds than others. But ultimately, we all need some form of bond. 

Don’t forget our top five tips for how you can build strong bonds with someone. 

  • Spend time together
  • Be romantic
  • Listen 
  • Prioritise honesty
  • Embrace vulnerability 

Is there anything you do to increase your bond with others? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall AuthorLinkedIn Logo

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

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5 Ways to Appreciate Someone More (With Examples!) https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-appreciate-someone-more/ https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-appreciate-someone-more/#respond Mon, 28 Aug 2023 12:39:17 +0000 https://www.trackinghappiness.com/?p=14288 How can you appreciate someone more and be more appreciative in general? This article shows you 5 ways to show appreciation to someone else.

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Expressing appreciation for others can be a puzzling task, even for those who are naturally caring. The desire may be there, but its application can be tricky.

Although we may all share the same basic longing to be seen and valued, everyone has their unique preferences. Different gestures speak to different people, so acknowledging someone else’s efforts in a way they will receive it can be challenging. 

In this article, I’ll address what it means to appreciate someone, the benefits of doing so, and practical suggestions for how to start expressing gratitude toward the people you cherish most.

What does it mean to appreciate someone?

To appreciate someone means to hold them in great esteem, often as a result of some admirable effort. Showing appreciation for someone means not only recognizing their value but openly communicating it to them. It’s less of a thought and more of an action. 

Frequently expressing appreciation for a colleague, partner, friend, or family member may not always seem necessary, but its effect may be greater than you think. A recent USC study shows that many people feel underappreciated at work, and this is likely true of many people’s personal lives.

Small, simple acts of gratitude have the power to change someone’s day and strengthen relationships of any kind.

Why is it important to show others appreciation?

Millions of years ago, acknowledging someone’s value and welcoming them into our circle was a matter of life and death; it ensured their very survival. Although showing appreciation for others has lower stakes these days, it still has a significant impact on them. 

According to a 2012 survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA), employees who felt valued in the workplace reported higher levels of engagement, satisfaction, and motivation than those who felt underappreciated by their employers. They also reported better mental and physical health. Expressing appreciation for others has lucrative benefits in the workplace as well: High morale yields high productivity.

Appreciating people can shape personal relationships, too. A 2014 study revealed that expressing gratitude toward an acquaintance makes them more likely to pursue a long-term relationship with you. It’s a quick, easy way to build trust, loyalty, and community. Who wouldn’t want to develop ties with someone whose initial impression was appreciative and kind?

When people feel unappreciated, other emotions tend to emerge. Feelings of resentment, neglect, distress and discouragement begin to fester. These negative emotions often lead to severe consequences, such as broken relationships or career changes.

Undervaluing others in an extreme way, especially over the course of time, can evolve into a form of emotional or even physical abuse.

💡 By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

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5 ways to show others appreciation

One of the most incredible characteristics of humanity is our diversity. While we have a lot in common, our individual experiences set us apart and give us distinct stories, perspectives, and preferences. It’s probably easiest to show someone appreciation when you really know them, but even if you don’t, this list of suggestions is sure to soften anyone’s heart.

1. Put yourself in their shoes

You may find The Golden Rule – “treat others the way you wish to be treated” – a bit cliché, but when it comes to appreciating others, this is the foundation. 

If you have no clue what to do for someone else, start by asking yourself this question: What would make you feel cherished? Based on your knowledge of the person you want to praise or thank, would they enjoy a similar gesture? 

For example, imagine you want to show appreciation to your spouse, who selflessly cared for you while you were sick. You may not know what gesture best suits the occasion at first, so you decide to ask yourself what would make you feel valued in the same situation. After considering the tasks of a caretaker – preparing meals, administering medications, maintaining household chores, etc. – you conclude you would feel pretty exhausted. You decide to offer your spouse a massage, and they are thrilled.

This exercise – attempting to understand another person’s point of view – can be extremely helpful in selecting the perfect act of appreciation.

2. Discover their love languages

In college, someone gifted me a book titled The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, and it changed my life.

In a nutshell, Gary Chapman, the author, proposes the idea that there are five major ways of expressing love:

  • Physical touch.
  • Quality time.
  • Words of affirmation.
  • Gift-giving.
  • Acts of service.

He claims that most people have a primary and secondary preference for receiving love.

It was a short read, but it was packed with useful information. It gave me the language I desperately needed to communicate what made me feel treasured, and it showed me how to do the same for a romantic partner.

Over time, I realized that inquiring about the love languages of others – not just romantic partners – improved my relationships with them, too. I discovered that my mom values physical touch and quality time. When I want to show her that I appreciate her, I know the best way to do that is by giving her a hug or chatting over a glass of wine on the back patio.

If you’re close enough with someone, you could ask them to take this free quiz to help determine their primary love language. If not, though, making simple observations or asking someone else in their life for information can be very insightful.

3. Say thank you (and mean it)

One of the most effortless ways to show someone appreciation is to say thank you and mean it.

Whether you are conveying your gratitude through written or verbal communication, it’s important to be specific about what, exactly, you are thankful for. According to the Greater Good Science Center, specificity is key to cultivating gratitude in one’s own heart.

Personally, I believe it also exhibits a deeper, more genuine level of care toward a person.

When my girlfriend and I first began dating, we developed a nightly habit of playing “The Appreciation Game”. This so-called “game” was really just a conversation. We took turns expressing gratitude for at least four specific acts the other person did for them that day. Then we wrapped things up by sharing one character trait we admired about each other (independent of the previously named acts).

Saying “thank you” to each other in such an intentional way, even if we had already done it earlier that day, created a meaningful bonding experience every evening. Expressing regular gratitude for one another continues to be one of the pillars of our relationship.

4. Celebrate their victories

When someone in your life achieves a noteworthy accomplishment, consider it a cause for celebration. Offering to take them out for a meal, a drink, or a coffee shows that you appreciate their hard work and care about their success. If a group setting seems more fitting, you might arrange a gathering at work, at home, or at a venue.

If you’re an employer who wishes to show appreciation to your employees, consider distributing raises or bonuses. Studies show that performance-related increases in pay are effective in generating positive feelings about work. 

I’ve had many considerate, complimentary bosses who went out of their way to thank me for a job well done in various ways. But in the workplace, nothing says “I appreciate you” like generous compensation for your time and expertise.

5. Acknowledge them publicly

One should never underestimate the power of a good connection. Publicly expressing appreciation for someone may feel pointless or even a bit contrived, but in reality, it’s the opposite. A 2015 survey suggests that 85% of critical jobs are filled by networking. This astonishing number stresses the importance of providing solid references for those we care about. 

Showing a person we appreciate them in the public eye may have other promising implications for their life that extend beyond work. A 2015 survey reveals that more young adults meet their significant others through mutual friends than by any other means, including dating apps. (I can attest to this!) Apparently, there is real merit in hyping your friends up.

Public praise can be informal and occur virtually anywhere, so don’t hesitate to construct a social media post, write an email, or make an introduction.

💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail Clean

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Wrapping up

There are countless ways to show someone you appreciate them. Taking a moment of your time to share a word of gratitude can have a lasting impact on a person and your relationship with them. It’s never too late to begin showing others appreciation, so consider which of the above suggestions you can implement today.

What makes you feel appreciated? How do you prefer to show appreciation to the people in your life? Leave a comment below and let us know!

Jamie Staudinger Author

Former English teacher-turned-writer with a stereotypical zeal for coffee. Most content when I’m on the soccer field or sharing a fancy meal with someone I love.

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6 Ways to be More Thoughtful in Life (and Why It Matters) https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-be-more-thoughtful/ https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-be-more-thoughtful/#comments Thu, 24 Aug 2023 18:23:39 +0000 https://www.trackinghappiness.com/?p=15858 Being thoughtful goes far deeper than just being nice to someone. Here are 6 ways to be more thoughtful in life, and why it's so important!

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Thoughtfulness is one of many positive human traits. It enables us to strengthen relationships and live more meaningfully alongside others. And although the act of being thoughtful is rooted in doing things for others, it has the surprising gift of being amazingly good for our own health too.

It is sometimes extremely easy for our levels of thoughtfulness to slip a little bit. Or it might be that you feel you are not as instinctively thoughtful as other people. But it is something we can work on and become better at. And looking at the benefits, it is certainly worthwhile doing so.

This article aims to discuss what being thoughtful means, the benefits of being thoughtful, and some tips to help you be a little more thoughtful in life.

What does being thoughtful mean?

There are many definitions out there to describe what it means to be thoughtful. Pretty much every definition of it mentions kindness in some form. This particular definition describes thoughtful as being ‘kind and always thinking about how you can help other people.’

Additional research looked at the semantic analysis of different positive character traits. This research describes the meaning of thoughtfulness as ‘…some kind of thinking about another before one acts’.

When we are being thoughtful it also means we are showing other positive qualities towards others such as:

  • Consideration.
  • Helpfulness.
  • Friendliness.
  • Kindness.
  • Understanding.

But what makes being thoughtful distinctive from other positive traits, is that it means more than just being nice to someone. Arguably, anyone can be nice on a surface level. But being thoughtful goes a lot deeper.

If you think about it, the very act of being thoughtful means someone has to actively notice people around them, reflect on situations and pay attention to others’ needs. And then they are choosing to respond in a loving and kind way to someone else.

I have a fantastic friend who used to be my colleague at work. And everything she did was extremely thoughtful! She always thought of others before herself and quite honestly, I was in awe of her.

So how thoughtful do you think you are? Does it come naturally to you?

💡 By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

What are the benefits of being thoughtful?

The obvious benefits of being thoughtful are the fact that we can improve our existing and new relationships. Because being thoughtful simply means we are showing that we care.

And for both relationships and friendships to work, this is a particularly important thing to show.

Being thoughtful can also really impact us personally. Interestingly, there is a term coined ‘helpers high’ which explains how helping others makes us feel better and improves our physical and mental health.

The ‘high’ element of the phrase refers to the dopamine rush we experience when we are kind, which is a hormone strongly associated with happiness.

When we are thoughtful towards others the hormone oxytocin is also released in the body. This is known to reduce blood pressure and inflammation, both of which can contribute to serious health conditions.

The production of oxytocin has also been linked to increasing trust in humans. Again, this highlights the positive impact of thoughtfulness in promoting quality social interactions.  

Not only that, but these acts of kindness can boost levels of serotonin. Serotonin is a powerful chemical that is responsible for mood regulation, memory, brain function, and general well-being.

These all seem incredible benefits from just some small, simple acts. And do you ever notice thoughtful people as being unhappy?

I understand this is a complete generalization, but I genuinely believe it must be hard to be unhappy in life if you are thoughtful. Especially when you are continually boosting your body with those feel-good hormones and chemicals.

6 ways to be more thoughtful in life

Read on to find some ways in which you can incorporate a little more thoughtfulness into your life. So, you can start to enjoy better relationships with others and improve your well-being.

1. Take time to listen to others

Sometimes, just listening and giving someone our undivided attention can show a lot of thoughtfulness. I know when someone is listening to what I have to say, it shows they care and that they are concerned in some way.

We are all a little guilty at times of tuning out to others, but it is so important to improve in this area. Listening well also means you pick up on those small bits of information which later down the line can be used in a gesture of kindness.

The other day my daughter received a parcel in the post. As she is only one year old, I opened it for her, and it was an inflatable beach ball. I was racking my brains to think of who sent it. And eventually, I remembered a conversation I had with one of my good friends during a playdate around a week before.

I found that so thoughtful, as she showed she really listened to what I was saying (even if it was a tiny, insignificant piece of information).

2. Try to show small acts of kindness

As I am writing this, my neighbor knocked on my door and offered me an extra fan (we currently have unprecedented hot weather in the UK).

And I thought, how lovely!? Those small acts of kindness bring so much joy to others. It made me feel so happy knowing someone had given the time to think about me.

They are actually our new neighbors, and we have been helping them with bits around their house. And already in a few weeks, a solid friendship is forming.

These gestures don’t need to be grand or fancy. The smaller things that show you have considered someone’s needs can be just as powerful.

3. Consider giving meaningful compliments

Compliments can be a wonderful way of being thoughtful. Especially if they are done in a meaningful way. A flippant ‘your hair looks nice today’ is still nice to hear of course!

But a compliment that shows you have thought about someone’s needs goes a long way. For example: ‘I think you did amazing today, I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.’

And if you are giving a compliment, really try and mean it. Not only can people sometimes see through a lack of genuineness, but it means so much more to that other person when there is some real thought behind it.

Remember that thoughtfulness is more than just being nice for the sake of it.

4. Show your gratitude and thankfulness

When was the last time you sent a handwritten thank you card? Sending some form of thanks to friends and family for something you have received shows your appreciation and thoughtfulness.

When I was younger, I still remember (to this day!) sending a card to my grandma every year to say thank you for my Christmas presents! And I know she loved receiving them. Again, not only is it kind but it shows you care.

5. Try and remember important dates

Although it is important to show thoughtfulness on a day-to-day basis, there are some important dates of the year which should take priority too! If you are someone who forgets things easily, try and make a note of them somewhere to refer to.

These important dates might not just be the usual birthdays, christenings, and weddings, but they might be the date of your friend’s operation or the date they are moving home. And with so much going on in our lives, it is almost impossible to remember all these key events.

But showing you remember these important times in other people’s lives, and you have taken the time to think of them, shows a real level of thought and consideration.

6. Consider slowing down

When we rush around everywhere all the time, we don’t leave any room to reflect.

And to be thoughtful requires quiet times of reflection. It means you have time to step back and recognize what others may need.

It reminds me of when I hear about people’s relationships ending because they are far too busy for each other. When you start to slow down, you can notice more, and take everything in. This allows for thoughtfulness to naturally present itself.

When I have a busy week, I always really recognize my levels of thoughtfulness slip. I am rushing around like a madwoman not leaving time to think about anything else outside my remit.

Do you ever feel the same?

💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail Clean

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Wrapping up

Being thoughtful goes far deeper than just being nice to someone. It means we are taking the time out of our lives to think about others. Not only does being thoughtful help us to maintain positive relationships with others, but it can give our bodies a much-needed boost of feel-good chemicals and hormones. Being thoughtful can truly give our lives meaning and help us to feel better about the world around us.

When was your last thoughtful act of kindness? What’s your favorite way to show your thoughtfulness to others? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Sarah Grocutt Author

Former teacher and lover of all things psychology. Born and raised in the UK. Full-time employed by my two wonderful children and self-confessed yoga addict.

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5 Ways to be More Emotionally Available (With Examples) https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-be-more-emotionally-available/ https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-be-more-emotionally-available/#comments Tue, 18 Jul 2023 15:32:12 +0000 https://www.trackinghappiness.com/?p=15719 Do you find it hard to be emotionally available? If so, you're missing out, as it comes with many benefits! Here are 5 tips to help you become more emotionally available.

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Are emotions what distinguishes us from artificial intelligence? Sometimes it feels like we are bulldozing through life without the chance to stop and experience it. Are you moving at such a pace and finding it hard to be emotionally available?

As babies, we all experience different levels of emotional availability from our caregivers. What we experience as infants can impact how we manage our emotional availability. We build stronger connections when we are more emotionally available to ourselves and others. This emotional availability leads to more satisfying relationships. 

This article will look at the benefits of emotional availability. We will discuss 5 ways you can learn to be more emotionally available. 

What is the difference between emotions and feelings? 

Emotions are often mistaken for feelings, but they are different things. 

The Greek philosopher Aristotle described emotions as:

All those feelings that so change men as to affect their judgments, and that are also attended by pain or pleasure. Such are anger, pity, fear, and the like, with their opposites.

Aristotle

This article articulates the critical difference between feelings and emotions. It suggests that while feelings are felt and expressed consciously, emotions can be both conscious and subconscious. Many of us do not understand the depth of our emotions.  

Do you understand your own emotions? 

Why is emotional availability important in relationships?

Emotional availability is essential in healthy relationships

Relationships can be puzzling. Both romantic and platonic relationships require emotional investment. Have you ever been left wondering how a friend or partner feels? Have you ever got to the point in a relationship where you aren’t moving forward? Perhaps you think your relationship has plateaued? 

In these circumstances, the chances are that one or both of you is emotionally unavailable. 

We need to sustain and nurture emotional bonds to help us: 

  • Better understand each other. 
  • Demonstrate empathy
  • Improve our listening skills
  • Build security in our relationships. 
  • Be more present with our mindset. 

When we do our best to show up authentically and speak openly and honestly, we invite others to do the same. This mutual authenticity leads to more powerful and profound emotional bonds. 

💡 By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

What keeps us from being emotionally available?  

Being stuck in the past can block our emotional availability. Some people may have a fear of intimacy and being vulnerable.

Others may not have the skills to recognize their own emotions. But where does this stem from? 

According to this article, how infants attach to their primary caregiver plays a part in our emotional availability. It goes on to express that a more substantial emotional availability between a child and a parent predicts our capacity for emotional regulation. 

It will come as no surprise that trauma can block our ability to be emotionally open. 

Be mindful of how full your cup is and the cup of others you are trying to connect with. It can be challenging to communicate with others if one of you doesn’t have the mental bandwidth at that time. 

5 ways to improve your emotional availability 

We need to be in the right frame of mind to improve our emotional availability. With some help, you can develop your emotional availability and create more rewarding connections with others.

Here are our 5 tips to improve your emotional availability. 

1. Take time for yourself 

We can’t expect to be emotionally available to others if we aren’t emotionally available to ourselves.

One way to do this is to slow down and listen to your mind and body. Coming from a recovering “busy” person, I know this is more difficult than it sounds. Here are a few tricks to help you slow down. 

  • Regulate your breathing and engage in mindfulness
  • Learn to meditate. 
  • Take 10 minutes a day to sit and enjoy a coffee while doing nothing. 
  • Block time in your diary for yourself. 
  • Don’t overcommit. 
  • Learn to say “no” to what doesn’t inspire you. 

We don’t need to be productive all the time. Our brains need regular breaks and time out to work efficiently. 

When we slow down, we give ourselves room to feel our emotions. I appreciate this can be scary for some. It was terrifying for me. There was a reason I used to keep myself dangerously busy. My advice for you is to feel the fear and do it anyway! 

2. Recognize your emotional threshold 

One of my closest friends taught me all about emotional capacity. Before offloading our emotional struggles to each other, we need to check our capacity levels.

Checking our threshold is beneficial for everyone involved. If my friend doesn’t have the capacity for my baggage, but I fail to check this and offload anyway, we will likely get into trouble.

  • I may perceive her as disinterested, which may cause resentment in me. 
  • She may resent me for burdening her when she is already full. 
  • She may avoid chatting with me in the future if this becomes a regular pattern. 

This means you also need to recognize when you can’t take on someone else’s drama. Be open and honest. You need to erect boundaries to protect your emotional threshold. 

You may want to say to your friend:

 “I want to hear all about this, but now isn’t a good time. I’ve got a few things on my mind. Could we schedule a coffee date in a few days to discuss this?” 

Your friend will appreciate the honesty. It also ensures you are fully present and available when you show up to listen. 

3. Talk about emotions 

One easy way to be more emotionally available is by talking about emotions. You may ask someone what they got up to at the weekend. Their reply will likely consist of activities, maybe some mishaps, or something exciting. 

Follow up these conversations with questions about their emotions. Such as “How did that make you feel?”. 

Talk openly about your own emotions. Did something invoke stomach-churning anxiety in you? Do you have pervasive worries about the future? Maybe you have a childlike excitement about something upcoming?

When we share our own emotions, we open the door for others to share their emotions with us.

4. Dare to trust someone

I struggle to trust easily, how about you? When we open ourselves up and trust another, we make ourselves emotionally available. 

According to this article, organizations that encourage mutual trust between their employees and managers reap numerous benefits, including: 

  • More productive staff.
  • Stronger communication between staff. 
  • Increased work motivation. 

As a result, their stress levels are lower and they report feeling happier in their lives. This pattern is seen in our personal lives as well as our work. 

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust somebody.

Ernest Hemmingway

I’m not suggesting you lend all your savings to a struggling friend and rely on unfounded trust that you will see it again. But perhaps you can start to take people at face value. Listen to what they say and trust them on their word. Start with trust until you are proven otherwise. Try not to be the person who is cynical and suspicious of everyone. This vibe will rob you of humility.

5. Embrace vulnerability 

We are conditioned to hide our weaknesses and showcase our strengths. But this leads to an incomplete picture and holds people at a distance. It prevents others from seeing our foibles and recognizing that we are only human.  

An interesting phenomenon happens when we share our vulnerabilities. Those around us follow our lead and also share their vulnerabilities. It becomes a vulnerability trade-off. A magical connection occurs when we exchange vulnerabilities. 

Vulnerability builds connection. When we reveal our fears, doubts and worries can strengthen relationships and encourage others to confide in us.

💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail Clean

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Wrapping up

Listening to our own emotions takes skill. And putting ourselves in a position to encourage an emotional connection with others can take courage—the courage of vulnerability. We can go through life being closed to others for fear of rejection. But we will only miss out on the joy that emotional connection brings. So please, give yourself the grace to be emotionally available to yourself and others.

Do you struggle with emotional availability? What’s your favorite tip that has helped you become more emotionally open? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall AuthorLinkedIn Logo

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Ways to be More Emotionally Available (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

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5 Tips to Not Interfere in Other’s Lives (Why it Matters) https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-not-interfere-in-others-lives/ https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-not-interfere-in-others-lives/#respond Mon, 19 Jun 2023 11:42:00 +0000 https://www.trackinghappiness.com/?p=20174 Feeling the need to interfere in someone's affairs but know that you shouldn't? Here's 5 tips on how to not interfere in other’s lives.

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Some people have a frustrating habit of thinking they know what is best for others. While intentions are usually good, this attitude can lead to fractious relations, fallings out, and unhappiness. 

We can’t live other people’s lives for them. Sure, solutions to problems may seem obvious from our perspective, but we aren’t in the minds of others, we can’t possibly know them better than they know themselves, and ultimately, we have to let them figure things out for themselves in their own time. 

Let’s look at how to discern the difference between positive and negative interference. We will then discuss 5 ways to help you stop interfering in other people’s lives. 

Discern the difference between positive and negative interference

There’s a fine line between our interfering being welcomed and appreciated and our interfering causing hostility and frustration. 

If you can discern when to interject and when to stay schtum, you will place yourself in the optimum support position for your nearest and dearest and the rest of society around you.  

If in doubt, the general rule I follow is that if someone is at risk of harm, it’s better to interfere than ignore.  

Here are some examples of times I have interfered in other people’s business: 

  • A guy was being a creep to an unknown female on a bus. 
  • A neighbor’s dog needed medical attention, and they weren’t forthcoming with it. 
  • I spotted a shoplifter and advised the security guards. 
  • I initiated a difficult conversation with a friend about her excessive drinking habits. 
  • Called the wildlife officers over neglected cows. 

As you can see, justifiable interference is rare, but it does exist. 

The possible consequences of interfering in someone’s life

Take some time to consider a situation when you felt someone else was meddling in your business. How did it feel? 

Let’s be honest; none of us like other people interfering in our lives, yet many of us are quick to interfere in other people’s lives. Interference is particularly prevalent if there is a hierarchical dynamic at play. For instance, parents often interfere in their children’s lives even into adulthood. 

Parents who interfere in their adult children’s lives demonstrate deeply destructive behavior, which can be considered controlling and abusive and can lead to estrangement

Reflecting upon past relationships, I realize I have distanced myself from the people who interfered in my life most. They were the ones who forever criticized how I lived my life and were not shy in telling me how I “should” be living and what I “should” be doing! 

Too much interference will only create division and disconnection. 

💡 By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

5 ways to stop interfering in other’s lives

Don’t be put off helping others in need, but learn to distinguish between someone open to your help and support and someone who doesn’t want or need it. 

Here are our top 5 tips for stopping interfering in other people’s lives. 

1. Control your urge to give unsolicited advice 

If someone is struggling, be careful you don’t jump straight into fix-it mode by telling them where they are going wrong and what they need to do. If it isn’t clear what their needs are, think of the 3 H rule and ask them: 

  • Do they want help?
  • Do they want a hug?
  • Do they want you to hear?

Before we learned to help others by simply sitting with them and hearing them, we likely tried to help through problem-solving. But often, we can provide the most help by simply showing up and listening and keeping our unsolicited advice to ourselves. 

Unless you are explicitly asked for advice, don’t offer it.  

2. Remember, you don’t know other people’s minds better than they do  

You don’t know the mind of others better than they know themselves. 

If there’s one sure way to feel disconnected and unseen by others, it’s through them invalidating our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. 

I’m a female who has chosen not to have children. Most women in my position have self-reflected on this decision, perhaps even more than many parents did before they had children. And yet, one of the most common resistance comments we get from society is “you will change your mind,” along with a veiled threat of “you will regret it.” 

All we need to do is accept other people’s thoughts and views without making them wrong. This means no comments like “You don’t really think that” or “I’m sure you’d like it if you gave it a try.” sort of thing! 

Accept what others say and don’t try to change it, even if you don’t understand it or it makes you uncomfortable. 

3. Step away from the gossip  

Gossip is interference on a classic scale. It fuels judgment and sways opinion. It changes the energy between people and leads to assumptions and division. 

Gossip is a deeply passive-aggressive way of interfering in other people’s lives. If someone wants you to know something about them, they will tell you. If someone wants you to share information about them, they will ask you to. 

Before you speak of others, put it through the Bernard Meltzer test. 

“Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.” – Bernard Meltzer.

4. Beware of your projection 

Have you ever noticed when you do well for yourself in one area of life, some people around you aren’t too quick to cheerlead? Perhaps a little bit of schadenfreude is showing up. 

You may have achieved a fitness goal or a weight loss ambition. You may have set up a small business. Whatever it is, some people will take your success and happiness and compare it with their inertia and self-perceived inadequacy.

Your growth and success shine a light on their need for growth and success. They turn your success into being about their lack of success. So instead of being happy for you, they pass you little micro aggressions and try and sabotage you to keep you small with comments like: 

  • “You’ve changed.”
  • “Oh, that must be nice.”
  • “Just have a drink; you’re so boring.” 
  • “You can cheat on your diet just once.”
  • “You’re always working.”
  • “Can’t you just take a break from writing your book?” 

Beware of doing this yourself. Allow others to grow and change, support their personal development, and don’t project your insecurities as obstacles onto their path. Otherwise, you may lose them! So, if you see someone around you living their dreams and taking brave and bold steps, be inspired by them; they are not a threat! 

5. Celebrate individuality 

It may seem obvious, but we all experience the world differently. What works for you or brings you happiness and fulfillment may not spark the fire in another. 

When we accept the individual differences of people around us, we quickly recognize that there is no right way or wrong way to live. Life is complex and nuanced, and riddled with peculiarities. Many paths lead to success, so if you see someone taking a different path than your own, don’t call them back or caution them. Let them find their way and maybe take this as an opportunity to learn from them. 

💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail Clean

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Wrapping up 

You only have one life, so live it to its full potential and be careful you don’t try and live everyone else’s lives for them. Let’s be honest; people rarely thank you for interfering in their life!

Our top tips for how not to interfere in other people’s lives are: 

  • Control your urge to give unsolicited advice. 
  • Remember, you don’t know other people’s minds better than they do. 
  • Step away from the gossip. 
  • Beware of your projection.
  • Celebrate individuality. 

Have you learned the hard way of the perils of interfering with other people’s lives? What happened? What tips would you give to stop interfering? 

Ali Hall AuthorLinkedIn Logo

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Tips to Not Interfere in Other’s Lives (Why it Matters) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

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5 Tips to Not Invalidate Someone’s Feelings (With Examples) https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-not-invalidate-someones-feelings/ https://www.trackinghappiness.com/how-to-not-invalidate-someones-feelings/#comments Sat, 10 Jun 2023 11:53:24 +0000 https://www.trackinghappiness.com/?p=20144 Despite good intentions, our words might hurt others when they are at a low. Learn how to not invalidate someone's feelings with these 5 tips.

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If you have ever felt invalidated, you will likely know what feeling invisible is like. I don’t believe people set out to invalidate us, they likely have good intentions, but the result is invalidation. And with this invalidation comes the feeling of worthlessness and being overlooked.

If you know what it is like to have your feelings rejected and disregarded, you have already experienced being invalidated. It’s one thing to experience it firsthand ourselves; it’s another thing to recognize when our behaviors and words invalidate others. Luckily we can learn to change our ways to help others feel valid and relevant in our company. 

This article will outline what it feels like to be invalidated and the consequences of invalidating someone’s feelings. We will suggest five tips to help stop you from invalidating others. 

What does it feel like to be invalidated?  

When we feel validated, we perceive our feelings and thoughts as accepted and recognized as relevant and understandable. We feel seen and heard, and our associated feelings of worth are high. 

The opposite is true when we feel invalidated. The process of invalidation leaves us feeling dismissed, unheard, and overlooked. 

As a child, I experienced regular invalidation. I still struggle with this now. I don’t feel accepted for who I am and feel like I’m forever at loggerheads trying to stake a claim on my feelings with some people. It’s triggering to express a feeling and be told that’s not actually how you feel!  

I wasn’t asked how I felt; instead, I was told how I should feel. And anytime my feelings deviated from the expected, I was redirected. Being invalidated taught me to betray my instincts. 

Interestingly, my experiences are consistent with the results from this study which shows that invalidation can have a detrimental effect on our efficiency in managing our own emotions and behaviors and can increase the rate of suicide and self-mutilation. 

What are the consequences of invalidating someone’s feelings? 

Invalidating someone’s feelings has grave consequences. The burden of regularly feeling worthless and invalid is often derived from our childhood experiences. Children who have their feelings ignored, minimized, overlooked, ridiculed, or punished are likely to grow up with a deep-rooted sense of invalidation.

Invalidating others can have a traumatic effect. 

According to this study, children who grow up with their inner experiences being invalidated are at a higher risk of developing borderline personality disorder. 

Regular invalidation can cause us to question our place in the world and our sense of belonging. It can lead to existential insecurity and taint our well-being, psychology, and happiness. 

💡 By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

5 ways to not invalidate someone’s feelings 

It doesn’t matter who we speak with, whether a friend, partner, child, colleague, or stranger; our words can validate or invalidate. 

Often we invalidate others without even realizing it. We can all learn to improve by ensuring those around us feel validated. 

Here are our top five ways to ensure those around you don’t feel invalidated. 

1. Beware of the suffering Olympics

I first learned the term “suffering Olympics” during the pandemic. It’s similar to one-upmanship and is a gross form of invalidation. 

When someone expresses that they are tired, stressed, or worried about something, be careful you don’t play the suffering Olympics with them and immediately express how you are more tired, stressed, or worried! 

As someone without children, I’ve heard this from some parents as well “How can you possibly be tired? You don’t know what tired is until you have children.” It’s demeaning, invisible, and wholly unnecessary. Not to mention being short-sighted and small-minded, as having children is not the only life experience that can cause exhaustion. 

Life is not a competition on who is suffering more. You can feel exhausted and validate a friend who says they are tired without making it about you. 

So, instead of competing with someone’s suffering next time, why not try to relate to them with something like, “Oh, that sucks; I understand how you feel.” 

2. Develop your empathy levels  

You don’t need to have experienced what someone else is experiencing to show compassion. A mistake I see many people make is when they don’t understand something or wouldn’t feel the same in a similar situation; they minimize the feelings of others. 

The death of my dog devastated me and changed me as a person. Some people around me minimized my grief and couldn’t find it within themselves to show empathy. 

Empathy allows us to recognize and accept the feelings and emotions of another. It is free from judgment and is a vital way to connect with others. Check out our article with seven valuable tips to learn to be more empathetic. 

3. Beware of making others wrong 

There is no one way to be human. If someone expresses feelings you would not experience in a particular situation, this doesn’t mean they are wrong. 

As a child, I was regularly told I was “too sensitive” or “silly” if I vocalized how I felt about mean words said to me by my siblings. Instead of being listened to and reassured, it was inferred that I was the problem lay with me. 

When you make others wrong for their feelings, they will clam up and stop seeing you as a safe person to open up to. 

Try not to contest how someone feels or expect them to change immediately. Instead, you can use your empathy skills and say, “It’s ok to feel like that; this will pass.” This compassion shows an excellent acceptance that doesn’t undermine or belittle. 

4. Beware of minimization through comparison 

Life doesn’t taste the same for everyone; we all perceive the different flavors differently, and as soon as we expect everyone to be uniform, we invite a disconnection. 

One of my friends is still struggling after her divorce. While another, who is in a similar position, is empowered and full of vitality. Neither is wrong or right; they are each on a personal journey. But if I were to compare the friend who is struggling with the friend who is thriving, I would cause a tremendous amount of emotional damage.

There is no set time scale for grief! 

Theodore Roosevelt’s words, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” have stood the test of time. Comparison is one sure way to minimize feelings and induce shame or guilt. 

5. Listen without the need to fix 

I used to be guilty of trying to fix everything. Friends approached me with problems; instead of listening, I offered solutions. But experiencing the same communication from my partner, I realized how frustrating it is. I didn’t feel seen or heard; it was as if he was minimizing my feelings and condescending to me with solutions. 

Next time a friend or partner comes to you to offload on something, ask them this vital question: 

“Are you looking for me just to listen, or are you seeking solutions.” This way, you can make sure you support them in the way they will most benefit from where they are at that moment. 

💡 By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail Clean

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Wrapping up 

As soon as you learn to validate the feelings of others, you will experience a deeper connection. They will feel safer in your company, and you will feel less judgment and resistance bubbling up in your mind.

Take note of our five tips to help make sure you don’t invalidate someone’s feelings: 

  • Beware of the suffering Olympics. 
  • Develop your empathy levels. 
  • Beware of making others wrong. 
  • Beware of minimization through comparison. 
  • Listen without the need to fix. 

What do you do to ensure you don’t invalidate someone’s feelings? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall AuthorLinkedIn Logo

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Tips to Not Invalidate Someone’s Feelings (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

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7 Tips on Achieving Social Happiness (and Why It Matters) https://www.trackinghappiness.com/social-happiness/ https://www.trackinghappiness.com/social-happiness/#respond Mon, 22 May 2023 10:44:19 +0000 https://www.trackinghappiness.com/?p=19934 We are social beings which makes social happiness a key part of our life. Discover why it matters and some tips on how to be socially happy.

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“Happiness is only real when shared.” Chris McCandless said these words and I think he was really onto something.

Inner happiness is valuable, but without social happiness, we still feel incomplete. Social happiness helps us connect and thrive in a way that leads to a fulfilling life.

This article will teach you everything you need to know about social happiness. By the end, you’ll be equipped to be a happy social butterfly.

What exactly is social happiness?

Social happiness is the joy found in connecting with other human beings. It’s engaging in meaningful relationships that deepen our daily lives.

We can derive happiness from within ourselves. But if we have no one to share our highs and our lows with it leads to loneliness.

Let’s look at an example to make it clear. Think of the last time you had some really good or exciting news. What was the first thing you wanted to do?

If you’re like most people, you want to share it with your loved ones. When you get to share your happiness with others it seems to somehow increase your happiness.  

This is in part why the research shows that people who engage in close relationships experience greater levels of happiness.

Why does social happiness matter?

So we know that social happiness is more likely to lead to our own personal fulfillment. But why else does it matter?

Turns out research shows that people who experience more loneliness tend to have greater levels of cortisol. Cortisol is essentially our stress hormone.

This means that folks who don’t engage socially tend to feel greater levels of stress. And this seems to consequently negatively affect your hormones and cardiovascular health.

Another study validated these findings that health is negatively impacted by loneliness. And the findings held true across multiple populations.

It seems that our well-being hinges in part on our ability to be socially happy. It’s as though we are biologically hardwired to need each other.

I find this true personally on many levels. Some of my most depressing times in life were when I lacked a social community or support.

Our friends and social groups help us enjoy life more. And perhaps more importantly, they help us cope with life when things are not so fun.

💡 By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control. 👇

Cheat Sheet Download Thumbnail

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

7 tips to be socially happy

If you’re ready to boost your social happiness, then these tips are the perfect recipe for you.

1. Practice being considerate of others

One of the easiest ways to be socially happy is to take the focus off of yourself and consider others.

When you consider others, you will find that people are attracted to you. They will want to engage in a relationship with you because you are showing respect.

But what does being considerate of others look like? Sometimes it means listening more than you speak. Other times it means putting their needs above your own.

This concept came into play this morning for me. My husband and I take turns commuting to work by bike because we only have one car.

He’s been complaining about knee pain for the past few weeks. I felt tired and didn’t necessarily want to bike to work today.

But I realized I can push through fatigue. So I put his needs first and I offered to ride my bike.

This prevented a potential argument. And it led to my husband expressing appreciation for my thoughtfulness.

When you practice being considerate, your relationships will flourish. And this will result in you feeling greater levels of social happiness. 

2. Be vulnerable

In order to form genuine connections, you have to let your guard down.

As someone who has spent the better part of her life avoiding vulnerability, I get that this isn’t easy.

But I’ve come to realize that our struggles and weaknesses are what bond us as humans. And it’s so much easier to say how you’re really feeling than put up a front.

When I was first in physical therapy school, I wanted to appear like I was confident. What I was really feeling was insecurity about my ability to become a physical therapist.

I didn’t start making deep friendships until I was honest with my peers about these feelings. 

I realized that pretty much everyone was feeling that way. And this helped us better understand each other.

I’ve also seen this come into play with my husband. I tried to hide my depression for months. All this did was put a wall between us.

When I finally opened up about it, he was able to help me and our relationship grew.

It’s scary to be vulnerable with your feelings and emotions. But the social reward that stems from vulnerability is so worth it.

3. Show others that you care

Showing others that you care is one of the quickest routes to social happiness.

We all like to feel special. And when you take the time to let someone know you care, you’re communicating that they are special.

This will draw people to you and help deepen your current relationships.

So how do you show others that you care? Here are some ideas:

  • Communicate your appreciation verbally.
  • Write a thank you note.
  • Make them a homemade gift or buy them something personal.
  • Give your time freely when they need help.
  • Call simply to check in on them.

If you’re like me, you often associate showing someone you care with spending money on them. And while that’s one great way to do it, it’s not the only way. 

Notice many of these options cost you nothing. It’s not about getting extravagant gifts for someone. 

It’s about showing someone that they matter to you. 

And it’s important to make it a regular occurrence. I am guilty of getting so caught up in my own life that I forget to put in the time to show others I care.

Slow down. Say I love you. Call your mom.

These are the little things that will multiply your social happiness every day.

4. Be quick to forgive others

If you’re searching for social happiness, you may find it by forgiving others.

Trust me, I am no expert at this. I’m the first to admit that I hold onto a grudge for too long.

But all this does is hurt me and others. I could save myself and my relationships loads of unnecessary strain by letting things go.

I was on the phone last week with my mom talking about a wrongdoing from one of my friends from 3 years ago. She asked me, “Why does that matter?”

And it hit me. She was right. I was being absolutely silly.

Why had I still held onto that grudge all these years? There was no logical reason to do it. It was based on my own hurt and selfish insecurity.

It didn’t help that friendship thrive. In fact, it made me distance myself from that person.

I decided to call that friend that afternoon and fully forgive her. Since then, we have met for coffee and I realized how much I missed having her presence in my life.

My social happiness was being blocked by my inability to forgive. So get out of your own way and forgive others often.

5. Be open to constructive criticism

You’re probably wondering how the heck being open to constructive criticism is going to help your social happiness. Let me give you an example to paint the picture.

Do you have one friend who does something that aggravates the rest of the friend group? This happened in my friend group not long ago.

One friend always showed up an hour late for our dinners or parties. We were afraid to confront the person because she tends to be defensive and hyper-reactive.

This ended up building an awkward tension between us and her. Eventually, we did confront her about her behavior. 

Much to our surprise, she was super apologetic and everyone ended up feeling better.

There are times when I am the person that annoys others or does something wrong in the relationship. It’s my hope that my loved ones know I want their honest feedback.

Because relationships can’t grow and tension will inadvertently build without honest communication.

6. Let go of harmful relationships

Sometimes social happiness comes at the cost of letting go of harmful relationships.

You can’t hold onto relationships where you don’t bring out the best in each other. Unfortunately, we all tend to encounter relationships like this at some point in life.

My romantic relationship in college was a prime example of how socially unhappy you can be if you don’t ditch unhealthy relationships.

My boyfriend didn’t want me hanging out with any other guys. And if I spent too much time with my other friends he was upset.

This resulted in me changing my behavior in hopes of making him happy. And as a result, my other relationships suffered.

It took a pretty major intervention from my friends to realize that staying with him wasn’t in my best interest.

It wasn’t easy, but finally letting him go made more room for positive relationships in my life.

Say goodbye to the relationships that are holding you back if you want to invest in your social well-being.

7. Choose to be more social

It’s funny how easy it is in today’s society to not be social “in person”.

You can hop on Instagram or Facebook and think you’re being social. But it’s much harder and sometimes even anxiety-inducing to meet up with people in person.

But part of being socially happy is putting yourself out there to be social.

This means carving out time in the busy workweek schedule to meet up with friends. Or it means saying yes to the after-work drink that you always turn down with co-workers.

If you don’t make an effort to be social, your social life is not going to magically thrive.

And if you don’t feel like you’re getting invited to do things, be the one to throw out the invitation.

I understand that it can also be hard to make friends as an adult. But there are always ways to do it.

You can participate in a meetup group for a variety of hobbies. Or simply start talking to people you see regularly at the gym, church, work, or the grocery store.

All this to say, you have to put in the work to be social in order to find your version of social happiness.

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Wrapping up

One of the essential ingredients for overall well-being is human connection. Without it, it’s easy to feel as though life lacks meaning. The tips from this article will help you cultivate social happiness to deepen and grow connections in your life. And don’t be surprised when focusing on social happiness elevates your life in beautiful and serendipitous ways. 

Are you socially happy? What tips from this article did you find most helpful? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser AuthorLinkedIn Logo

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 7 Tips on Achieving Social Happiness (and Why It Matters) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

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