No matter how much time or energy you spend worrying over someone else’s suffering, it does nothing to reduce the pain they experience. All you’re doing is causing yourself to needlessly suffer along with them. So why does it feel impossible to stop even when you know worrying about others solves nothing? It turns out humans are wired to worry. However, this doesn’t mean we can’t control the extent and frequency of our worries. 

Although worrying is inherently human, we can still take steps to mitigate its negative impact on our lives. In this article, I’ll explore why some of us simply can’t help but worry about others, and strategies to help you manage this well-intentioned but ultimately self-harming tendency.

Why we naturally worry about others 

Everyone worries, but some people worry significantly more than others. Along with worrying about their own life, they can’t resist the tendency to worry about other people as well. It appears this natural inclination to worry might just be human nature. 

It’s possible that humans have a predisposition to worry as a species due to a mismatch in our environment. Our brains are designed for an environment in which our actions result in immediate outcomes. Now that we live in an environment where our actions do not produce instant results, our brains can’t help but worry about uncertainty. 

Conversely, a study found that people worry for two possible reasons. The first is because they believe that worrying can prevent negative events from happening and minimize its harmful effects if it does happen. The second reason is the belief that worrying offers greater control and the ability to find a solution. 

Humans are social beings by nature. It only makes sense that we naturally extend our tendency to worry to encompass others. However, our ability to deeply connect with other humans emotionally and share their painful emotions could result in harmful consequences for our health. 

Why worrying about other people’s problems is futile

The most frustrating thing about worrying is that it solves nothing. Most of us understand this, and yet, we continue to worry about others in spite of its harmful effects on our health.

Research shows that worrying is associated with several mental health disorders and is detrimental to your physical health.  

Worry is the interest you pay on a debt you may not owe. 

Keith Caserta

A recent study on the mental health of Swiss undergraduate students during the pandemic found that those who worry more about the health of their family and friends are more likely to experience depression and higher stress levels.

Worrying about the health of their loved ones resulted in adverse effects on the students’ mental health. Moreover, worrying about the health of their family and friends in the midst of a pandemic beyond their control will not protect them from the disease.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

How to stop worrying about others 

Most of us know that worrying about other people does nothing to solve their problems or alleviate their pain, but we just can’t help it. The good news is that while worry is not completely avoidable, you can reduce its negative effects on your well-being using a few strategies.

1. Give the worrisome thoughts space to breathe 

I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t worrying the exact opposite of what we want to do? The reality is that sometimes, worrying is an inevitable part of caring. Life is full of ups and downs. As much as we wish we could, we can’t protect the people we love from every devastating event in their lives. 

You can’t stop the rain by worrying about it.

Tadahiko Nagao

For example, if you find out your child is being bullied at school or your friend is going through a difficult divorce, it’s simply unrealistic to expect yourself to not worry about them. Instead of suppressing the worry, give it the space it needs to breathe. It’s typically better to feel the negative emotion as soon as it arises rather than to dismiss it. This only causes the emotion to fester and resurface later on. 

Sit with the worry for a few minutes, refrain from judgment, and allow it to run its course unobstructed. Simply listen to what it’s trying to tell you. If you’re lucky, the worry might dissipate afterward. If it continues to unwantedly take up mental space, it’s time to try another strategy. 

2. Imagine yourself talking to your worry

This might sound strange but try to imagine yourself having a conversation with your worrisome thoughts. After listening to what the emotion has to say, picture yourself reasoning with it.

Speak to your worry the way you would speak to a friend having a panic attack. Calm it down, and ground the emotion back to reality. Some things you can try saying to your worry when it spirals are: 

• “Worrying about them will not ease their suffering in any way.” 
• “I cannot protect that person from every bad thing in life, and it is not my responsibility to do so.” 
• “I trust that person to be strong and capable enough to overcome their own problems.” 
• “The best I can do is support them in any way I can, but worrying about them will solve nothing.”
• “It is okay to be concerned about them, but I am only causing myself harm by treating their problems as if they are my own.” 

3. Set boundaries 

Setting boundaries is an essential skill to learn in life, but particularly if you are an empath or a highly sensitive person. Those who instinctively absorb the emotions of others might find it more difficult to not worry about the problems of other people. If this is the case, it’s important to learn how to set boundaries for yourself and your mental health. 

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.

Brené Brown

It’s perfectly okay to admit to others when you lack the emotional or mental capacity to listen to them vent about their problems. There is nothing selfish about setting boundaries. It doesn’t make you any less loving or supportive. However, it can help you to stop worrying about others when you’re already worrying about your own issues.

Setting your own boundaries might even encourage the other person to do the same. 

4. Journal

One of the best ways to release the burden of worrying about others is to simply write it down. The benefits of journaling are endless, but in the case of unrelenting worries, it can be especially therapeutic. Writing it down might help alleviate your concerns about others and their struggles.

Sometimes, your worries just need a place to go. 

Journaling also helps distinguish your worries about others from your own. Since the practice of expressing your thoughts and emotions through writing often improves self-awareness, there’s a good chance it’ll help you realize the futility of worrying about someone else’s problems.  

Here are a few possible journal prompts to explore when you want to stop worrying about others: 

• Why am I overly concerned about this person and their issues? 
• Is their pain triggering a similar hurt that I currently feel or have experienced in the past and requires healing? 
• Do I believe this person is capable of handling their own problems? 
• What else can I do for this person instead of suffering along with them by worrying? 
• Do I have the mental and emotional capacity to continue providing emotional support to this person? 

5. Have a conversation with the person you’re worried about 

Talking to the person you’re deeply concerned about is probably the root cause of your worries in the first place, but it could potentially be the solution as well. In some instances, we worry about others because we’re not sure if they have the ability to cope with whatever adversity they face. In that case, a simple conversation with them might ease your worries. 

At times, all we need is reassurance that the person we’re worried about will be okay. Checking up on them and discussing the steps they’re taking to solve their own problems might put your worries to rest once and for all. Of course, this strategy only works if the person you’re worried about is handling things better than you thought. 

In the event that the person is not coping well emotionally or mentally, it might be time to ask them to consider seeking professional help. This can ensure they receive the proper support and relieve you from your worries as well.

6. Practice mindful acceptance

Mindful acceptance is a powerful tool to address worries about others. The first step involves acknowledging that you are worried and understanding that it’s a natural response to caring deeply about someone.

Recognize that while your worry stems from a place of love and concern, it may not be constructive or helpful.

The second step is to practice mindfulness. Focus on the present moment and accept your feelings without judgment. This practice doesn’t mean you agree with or like the situation, but it allows you to see it for what it is.

Mindfulness techniques, like deep breathing or meditation, can help you stay grounded and prevent your worries from escalating. By accepting your worries and practicing mindfulness, you can maintain a clearer perspective and avoid being overwhelmed by your concerns.

7. Positively distract yourself

Sometimes, the best way to manage worry is to engage in activities that distract you positively. The first step is to identify the things that make you happy. These could be hobbies, physical activities, or even simple tasks like gardening or cooking. The key is to choose something that requires enough attention to keep your mind engaged.

Next, commit to these activities regularly, especially when you find your worries escalating. By focusing your energy on something positive and productive, you can break the cycle of worrying. This doesn’t mean you’re ignoring the problem; rather, you’re giving yourself a break from constant worry.

Over time, this practice can help you develop a more balanced perspective and reduce the intensity of your worries about others.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Worrying about others demonstrates your amazing ability to care and connect emotionally. However, the negative effect of worrying means that this capacity to absorb their worries as your own is destructive to your health. It might be difficult to manage your worries at first, but it can be done. Humans might be wired to worry, but you must not allow your worries to consume you.

Do you want to share your own positive change that you applied in your life? Did I miss an awesome tip that you used to be happier in an instance? I’d love to hear in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 7 Ways to Stop Worrying About Other People’s Problems appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

If you feel like life keeps piling on you and you are trapped underneath, you need the skills to bounce back. Let’s not accumulate the weight of all the micro-traumas in our life. You don’t need to keep carrying the burden of significant life traumas. 

In this article, I’ll discuss what it means to bounce back with 7 tips that you can put into practice today.

What does it mean to bounce back?

Before we can understand how we can bounce back from anything, we need to know what this means. To bounce back means “to return to your natural state or activities after having a problem.” 

The ability to bounce back is synonymous with being resilient. 

We all have low points in our lives and endure negative experiences. The ability to bounce back means that we can return to our normal levels of enthusiasm, motivation, and functioning before a negative situation floors us. 

In essence, the skill of bouncing back is in our ability to recover, which helps us return to our normal state. 

How do we learn to bounce back? 

We start to develop our resilience in our childhood.

Interestingly, according to this article, several protective factors facilitate our ability to build resilience. These protective factors mean that not all children impacted by early adversity will experience ongoing hardship. 

The article describes resilience as being like a seesaw. Protective factors counterbalance adversity. 

A critical factor in childhood adversity is having at least one safe and consistent relationship with a parent or other adult. This factor is a significant commonality in children doing well when faced with adversity. 

The article stresses that resilience “requires supportive relationships and skills-building opportunities.”

This research on resilience and child development bleeds into our later years and sets the foundation for our adult lives.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What are examples of bouncing back? 

Life is full of twists and turns. We all experience daily obstacles as well as more significant traumatic events. Examples of this include: 

• Death of a loved one. 
• Illness. 
• Accidents. 
• Job loss. 
• Natural disasters. 
• Separation and divorce. 
• Physical or mental abuse. 

As outlined in this article, the ability to bounce back does not prevent adversity. But it equips us with the tools necessary to return to optimum health and well-being. 

We all know people who have bounced back from an operation and regained their health. The ability to recover from such a setback is indicative of our ability to bounce back.

My poor neighbor’s wife passed away a few years ago. While initially he withered and recoiled from life, he has now bounced back remarkably well with intervention from friends and family. He is dating a lovely lady and the smile is back on his face. 

When my brother was in the midst of his divorce he couldn’t see beyond his past.

He was in the depths of despair and rejection. Fast forward a few years, and his life is better than ever. 

We can’t rewind time. Instead, we must learn to live with the cards we are dealt. When we learn to build resilience, we adapt to our circumstances and use our tools to find acceptance instead of engaging in a futile battle of resistance.

When we bounce back from adversity, we invite peace and harmony back into our lives. 

7 ways to bounce back 

Neuroscientists recognize that our ability to bounce back from difficult situations varies. When faced with similar stressors, some people are adept at bouncing back. In contrast, others endure more suffering and are less able to deal with these circumstances. 

The good thing is we can train our brains to be more resilient! Here are 7 ways to help you bounce back from anything. 

1. Deal with the small things  

When we learn how to deal appropriately with the small things, we equip ourselves with the expertise to deal with more significant obstacles that may come our way. 

Minor incidents can wreak havoc on our day. Think about the following inconveniences: 

• Someone cuts in front of us while driving. 
• Losing our keys. 
• Running late. 
• Forgetting an important date. 
• Pet or child being sick and impacting our work. 
• Power cut. 
• Boiler breaks. 
• The car breaks down. 

Many things can turn our life topsy turvy in one day. But if we breathe deeply and accept the uncontrollable, we build our resilience. 

When life throws you a curveball, ask yourself if there is anything you can do to fix it or change it. If there isn’t, we must learn acceptance—no dwelling, giving time to anger, or being sidetracked by frustration. We alter our course and do our best to deal with the obstacle. 

Daily resilience arms us for all eventualities. If you want more tips on this topic, you may like our article about how not to let things bother you.

2. Meditate

When we train our muscles, we help build resilience in our brains. So exercising helps improve our ability to bounce back.

But equally, when we don’t work our muscles but focus on meditation instead, we can also build resilience.

A study specializing in monks shows that those who are regular meditators benefit from the physical changes meditation makes on the brain. Neuroscience has shown meditation changes how the brain looks and functions.

The more experienced the meditator, the less time is required for the brain to recover from a stressor. If you want a head start, here’s our article on why meditation is so important.

3. Avoid making comparisons 

They say comparison is the thief of joy. Anyone with a social media account will testify to this. 

Any sort of comparison is unhealthy. Comparing ourselves to different versions of ourselves is not conducive to recovery. I am a different person today from the person I was yesterday. Tomorrow I will be slightly different again.

When we honor our uniqueness and the person we are in the present moment, we find acceptance and love for all that we embody. We recognize our restrictions and avoid being consumed with distracting feelings of frustration, jealousy, or dissatisfaction. 

Even if someone else’s situation seems comparable to ours, hundreds of other variables are at play. Avoid comparison at all costs; you are unique and bring a bespoke set of experiences and knowledge to your conundrum. 

4. Catch your thoughts  

Those who engage in mindfulness are better at catching their thoughts. 

Our thoughts can kick us when we are down instead of lifting us up and giving us the reassurance and comfort we may need. Our thoughts can blindside us with intrusive ideas which are unwelcome and certainly not conducive to bouncing back. 

Examples of unhelpful thoughts include: 

• “Things will never improve.”
• “You are stuck like this forever.”
• “How you feel today is a permanent state.”

We need to control these types of thoughts. While the first step is to catch these thoughts, we must deal with them appropriately.

If you want to work on this more, check out our article on how to control negative thinking.

5. Build your community

Who we surround ourselves with has an enormous impact on our life. The motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with.

So make sure you choose your friends and broader tribe wisely. For those you allow into your inner circle, ensure they are compassionate and honest.

Consider joining special interest groups or sports groups, as this sense of community can alleviate loneliness and help you find a sense of purpose and belonging, which is vital to boosting your well-being. 

During difficult times, beware of those who mean well but come out with cliches that can sometimes do more harm than good. Toxic positivity can be subtle and leaves us feeling muddled and unseen.

The following comments may be a sign of toxic positivity:

• “Just decide to be happier!”
• “Everything happens for a reason.” 
• “Look for the silver lining.” 
• “Just think, it could be worse.” 

These comments are invalidating and can induce feelings of shame and guilt. If you want more details, here’s our article on how to deal with toxic positivity.

6. Embrace learning opportunities

Resilience is closely tied to our ability to learn from experiences, especially difficult ones. When facing a setback, ask yourself what lessons can be learned.

This mindset shift transforms challenges into opportunities for personal growth. For instance, if you’ve faced a professional failure, consider what skills or knowledge you can gain from the experience to avoid similar situations in the future or to handle them more effectively.

Encourage yourself to reflect on both the situation and your reactions to it. Identify any patterns in your thinking or behavior that may not be serving you well. By embracing a learning mindset, you’ll not only recover from current challenges but also build skills and insights that make you more resilient in the future.

7. Cultivate self-compassion

Self-compassion is a critical component of resilience. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a good friend in a tough situation.

Begin by recognizing and accepting your emotions without judgment. Allow yourself to feel sad, frustrated, or disappointed, understanding that these feelings are a normal part of the human experience.

Next, engage in positive self-talk. Instead of being critical or harsh, remind yourself that everyone faces setbacks and that they don’t define your worth or capabilities. Engage in activities that promote self-care and relaxation, such as taking a walk, reading a book, or practicing yoga. By fostering a compassionate relationship with yourself, you’ll find it easier to bounce back from life’s challenges.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Life is messy and chaotic, and it rarely goes to plan. Sometimes, this can leave us feeling buried under the enormity of it all. But when we learn resilience and equip ourselves with the tools to bounce back from adversity, we increase our opportunities for health and happiness.

What’s your story of resilience and bouncing back from adversity? Or what’s your favorite tip to build your resilience? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 7 Ways to Bounce Back From Anything (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

But how do we let go of resentment? It’s been studied that holding on to resentment leads to depression and stress. Even though most of us know that resentment is something that only brings more negativity, it can be very difficult to actually let go of these feelings.

In this article, I’ll look at the prevailing studies on resentment and explain how to best let go of these negative feelings.

What causes resentment?

We can’t control everything that happens around us, and so we’re bound to be let down by others sometimes. Whenever this happens, we can harbor feelings of resentment. This is totally natural and happens to everybody.

Feelings of resentment can be caused by lots of things:

• When your colleague is unfairly promoted over you.
• Being cheated on by your partner.
• When a friend blows you off for no apparent reason.
• When somebody humiliates you in front of others.
• Being left out of a group chat with your friends.
• Etc.

In other words, resentment happens whenever we are (unfairly) wronged by others. But it’s important to not hold on to resentment because that will have a big impact on your potential state of mind.

How resentment can impact your happiness

The impact of carrying resentment for a prolonged period of time has been studied excessively.

This study found that holding onto anger for a long time can result in depressive disorders. In other words, by not letting go of your resentment, you’re at risk of becoming depressed. Fortunately, the study found that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an efficient treatment of resentment.

Another interesting study found that holding on to resentment makes you feel like whatever bad thing happened to you happened more recently. By maintaining a resentful point of view, we are more likely to feel as if the negative events happened “just yesterday”.

These are all reasons why you need to let go of resentment, as it’s keeping you from living a happier life. Luckily, there are also studies that show the positive impact of learning to let go of resentment.

This study shows that practicing forgiveness is correlated with higher life satisfaction among adults. In other words, the more we choose to forgive, the more satisfied we can be with our lives.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

11 ways to let go of resentment

Holding on to resentment can lead to depression and makes it harder to live a happy life. So how do you let go of resentment? Here are 11 ways that will help you move on and live a better life.

1. Accept that it happened

One of the easiest ways to lose your cool is to try to control something you can’t, be it the weather or other people. Once you’ve accepted your lack of control over them, you can either move on or realize that you can influence some things.

Sure, you can’t control the weather, but you can grab an umbrella if it’s raining. Or while you can’t control another person’s actions, you can be open about your own expectations. 

So whenever it rains – or somebody unfairly wronged you – try to accept that it happened.

And don’t worry, accepting something doesn’t mean that you agree with what happened. Acceptance means acknowledging reality and accepting it for whatever it may be. If you don’t accept the things that happened to you, it’s going to be hard to move on and let go of resentment.

Here’s an interesting article by Psych Central that explains what it means to practice acceptance.

2. Practice forgiveness

There are some things that can’t be forgiven, but often, being resentful is what makes us feel like victims. When someone has hurt us, it’s natural to want revenge, but life is all about picking your battles.

Prolonged resentment keeps you constantly under stress, which makes you more vulnerable to other blows life might throw at you. In turn, this can make you feel even more like a victim. Forgiving someone can be the most powerful tool in order to move forward and take control of your life.

Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.

Anne Lamott

If you want tips on how to practice forgiveness, we’ve written a complete article on this topic.

3. Realize that you can’t control everything

When dealing with feelings of resentment, you need to realize that you’re not responsible for everything that happens in your life. Ultimately, we only control a part of our lives, and being let down by others is simply a part of life.

I recommend taking stock of your life and dividing things into three categories:

• Things you can fully control, like your behavior and internal mindset.
• Things you can influence, but not control, like your relationships with other people (you can’t fully control someone else’s behavior, but you can influence it with your own).
• Things you have no control over and can’t influence, like things that happened in the past.

You may find that you’re worrying over something that happened in the past and have forgotten to adjust your behavior in the present.

As a general rule, you should put most of your energy towards the things you have full control over and some towards the things you can influence, but stop wasting your resources on things that are completely out of your control.

If you’re interested in learning more, here’s one of our articles about how to stop trying to control everything.

4. Try not to be a “people-pleaser”

It’s nice to be nice. Things like dog-sitting for a friend and picking up someone’s shift at work can raise your social score by making you look helpful and dependable. But trying to help others can also set you up for disappointment.

What if you helped someone out recently, only to find out that the same person dumps you whenever you need a helping hand?

If you feel like this applies to you, then you need to know that you don’t have to be nice all the time. This quote summarizes it nicely:

Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.

Every airplane’s on-board instruction

How do you know you’re a people-pleaser?

• Do you dedicate more time to other people than yourself?
• Have you neglected self-care, because you’re just too busy taking care of others?

If the answer is yes, then it’s time to re-evaluate your priorities.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Make time for self-care each day and do not sacrifice that time to help others. Remember the analogy of the oxygen masks. You can only help someone else when you’ve helped yourself first.

Nobody will take responsibility for your own happiness but yourself. Similarly, you are not responsible for the happiness of others.

5. Be more assertive in your communication

It may be difficult to believe, but some people are just plainly unaware of their disappointing behavior. Maybe they just lack self-awareness?

This may be because they rarely, if ever, get called out on it. In any case, depending on your relationship with the person, communication helps not only in managing your expectation but will also let the other person know yours.

If it’s an apology that you’re after, you need to communicate in an assertive manner to whoever wronged you.

• Use “I” statements to express your feelings

For example, “I felt disappointed when you did not work on the project like you said you would”.

• Listen and validate what the other person has to say about it

For example, “I understand you have a lot on your plate and feel completely spaced out”.

• Set boundaries for your own peace of mind

For example, “I would appreciate it if, in the future, you would let me know that you would not be able to work on the project as we discussed”.

By communicating assertively, you are more likely to fix your feelings of resentment in a productive way.

If you want more tips on how to be more assertive, here’s a great read on the subject.

6. Practice mindfulness

For many people, mindfulness is synonymous with meditation, and meditation is synonymous with peace.

Of course, mindfulness isn’t just about meditation – but it is helpful in finding inner peace. 

Mindfulness is all about being in the present and not letting your thoughts run amok. Practicing mindfulness will help you deal with feelings of resentment in a natural way, by letting go of hatred, negativity, and anger. It allows you to focus on what matters, on the here and now.

We published an article specifically about mindfulness and how to get started with it if you’re interested!

7. Write down how you feel

When your mind is filled with negativity, it can help to write down how you feel. By observing and writing things down, you allow yourself to move on. This causes resentment to lose its grip on you.

One of our readers recently shared a beautiful example of this:

A lot of the time, people tend to find themselves in a chaotic headspace when they have a lot on their plate, and I am no exception.

I found that writing about my emotional state and describing issues in detail forces me to confront them and take the time to deconstruct them. This usually allows me to understand the issue, and that calms the chaos in my head. You can think of this as clearing the RAM in your system.

Sanjay (one of our readers)

By writing things down, you can give your thoughts some air to breathe, without getting distracted. While this won’t make the resentment disappear right away, it will help you understand how it affects you mentally.

By being totally aware of your feelings of resentment, it may be easier to move on to the other tactics in this post, such as acceptance, forgiveness, and practicing mindfulness.

8. Talk to a friend about your feelings

Humans are inherently social animals and so we benefit from interacting with and relying on those around us. This holds true for those times when you just can’t seem to let go of resentment.

Talking to someone – be it a friend, colleague, or family member – about our problems is one of the best ways to gain some perspective and resolve our feelings of resentment.

We care about how others see us and what they think so it makes sense that our brain is likely to take on board what others have to say over what we say to ourselves. Just as you would be supportive of your friend, it’s likely that your friend will support you in a positive way as well.

If you have a good friend that you can talk with, you’re more likely to turn negativity into positivity together.

9. Talk with a therapist

At the start of this article, we discussed how this study showed that holding on to resentment can lead to depression.

However, this study also found that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an efficient method to deal with these negative feelings. The researchers found that this form of therapy helped reduce the depressive symptoms in the “test subjects”.

In other words, seeing a therapist can help you deal with your negative feelings of resentment. Sometimes you need to talk to a stranger to be able to be completely honest, and in that case, there’s no better choice than a therapist.

There are many other ways in which therapy can help you live a happier life. We’ve discussed this in a full article here.

10. Embrace a gratitude mindset

Shifting your focus to the blessings in your life can be a transformative way to combat feelings of resentment. By actively recognizing and appreciating the good around you, it becomes easier to move past negative experiences and emotions.

A practical way to cultivate this mindset is by maintaining a daily gratitude journal. Every evening, jot down three things or moments from the day that brought you joy or contentment. This practice not only refocuses your attention but also reinforces positive feelings.

Additionally, expressing your gratitude towards others can pave the way for healing and understanding. Even if someone has caused you pain in the past, acknowledging a kind gesture or a positive quality they possess can be a step towards mending bridges. It’s not about forgetting the hurt, but rather choosing to see the bigger picture and the potential for growth in every relationship.

11. Define your personal boundaries

Protecting your emotional and mental well-being often requires setting clear and firm boundaries. By defining what you’re comfortable with and what crosses the line, you’re taking proactive steps to ensure you’re treated with the respect and consideration you deserve.

For example, if you have a colleague who consistently offloads their work onto you, it’s essential to communicate how this impacts you and suggest a more balanced approach to task distribution.

It’s crucial to understand that boundaries aren’t about shutting people out but rather creating a healthy space for mutual respect and understanding. As life evolves, so might your boundaries, and that’s okay. The essential aspect is to keep the lines of communication open and to prioritize your emotional health, reducing the chances of harboring resentment.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Hanging onto feelings of resentment can lead to depression and prolonged stress. Even though we can’t control everything and we’re bound to be disappointed sometimes, there are efficient ways to deal with resentment. I hope some of the tips discussed in this article will help you let go of resentment so that you can move on to a happier life.

What do you think? Do you find it hard to let go of resentful feelings? Do you want to share a tip that has worked particularly well for you? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post 11 Ways to Let Go of Resentment (and Move On With Your Life) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Writing down what you’re beating yourself up over is the first step. What follows next is a journey of self-acceptance and mindfulness that will help you move on. In the end, you’ll hopefully learn to accept that you’re only human and that everybody makes mistakes sometimes. Stop beating yourself up for every mistake you’ve ever made, and focus on a positive future instead.

This article covers some of the dangers of constantly beating yourself up, and more importantly, how to move on and get over these negative feelings.

The dangers of beating yourself up

Sometimes, it’s good to be hard on yourself. This is mostly true when you’re working towards goals and you need to be disciplined when you can’t rely on your motivation. In that case, beating yourself up may help you work towards your goals for long-term happiness.

But you can also be too hard on yourself. If you’re constantly beating yourself up over something you’ve done in the past, it’s likely hurting your happiness.

This topic is closely related to rumination, which means repetitively and passively focusing on symptoms of distress and their possible causes and consequences. If you’re constantly beating yourself up over something, chances are you are ruminating without being aware of it.

Rumination leads to depression

Rumination is closely related to depression, both as a symptom and a predictor. For example, a 2010 study found that higher levels of rumination were associated with a greater likelihood of experiencing both a current depressive episode and a past history of depressive episodes.

The study also found that rumination correlated with greater severity and duration of depressive episodes. 

Beating yourself up affects your physical health

Beating yourself up doesn’t just affect your mental health. A 2012 review found that there is a relationship between ruminative thinking and impaired physical health.

For example, rumination may intensify the perception of perceived somatic symptoms or result in genuine biological stress. Furthermore, rumination can also be a predictor and a contributing factor to physical pain.

There’s some good news underneath all this negative news. Beating yourself up doesn’t have to lead to a psychological disorder or a physical illness. There are things you can do to stop this self-damaging behavior and break the negative cycle.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

How to stop beating yourself up

There are numerous things you can try to help you move past rumination and questioning your past actions. If you try these methods, you may find it easier to stop beating yourself up.

1. Write about it

The first step is painfully simple. Just grab a pen and a notebook, jot down the current date, and start writing about whatever you’re beating yourself up for.

Ask yourself questions that might seem simple but are hard to answer:

• What are the things that are constantly on your mind?
• When did these things happen, and when did they start taking up most of your mental capacity?
• What could you have done to prevent this from happening?

Try to answer all these questions on paper. By writing about whatever’s keeping you down, you’ll experience a number of benefits.

• Writing about how you beat yourself up makes you confront those issues.
• It allows you to better deconstruct the issues without getting your thoughts distracted.
• Writing something down can prevent it from causing chaos in your head. Think of this as clearing the RAM memory of your computer. If you’ve written it down, it’s easier for you to forget about it and move on.
• It will allow you to look back at your struggles objectively. In a few months’ time, you can look back at your notepad and hopefully see how much you’ve grown.

2. Accept what happened

A part of living in the present is being able to say “It is what it is”.

One of the best lessons you can learn in life is recognizing what you can change and what you can’t. If something is not within your circle of influence, why would you allow that thing to influence your current state of mind?

The things that you’re beating yourself up for are probably outside your current circle of influence. It may be true that they once were within your circle of influence, but if it’s in the past, there’s nothing you can do to change it.

No one can ever change what has happened in the past. All we can change is how we deal with our current situation while moving forward.

If you look at it that way, you’ll see how beating yourself up won’t actually improve your situation. Instead, you can focus your energy on living in the present and improving your actions in the future.

3. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness has grown a lot in popularity over the past decade, and rightfully so.

According to a 2012 paper, practicing mindfulness is related to greater emotion differentiation and fewer emotional difficulties in young adults. In another study, a short mindfulness intervention was shown to benefit emotion regulation on a neurobiological level – meaning that mindfulness can change how certain areas of the brain work.

But what does mindfulness have to do with you beating yourself up over something? How can you incorporate mindfulness as one of your mental health habits?

By simply taking conscious breaks more frequently. Mindfulness is all about being in the present and not letting your thoughts run amok. Practicing mindfulness will help you stop beating yourself up over something, as it makes you realize that it’s completely outside your control.

Mindfulness allows you to focus on what matters, on the here and now.

We published an article specifically about mindfulness and how to get started with it if you’re interested!

4. Try to think positive

We often talk about the preferred version of ourselves:

• “I wish I was 15 pounds lighter”.
• “I wish I did better in school”.
• “I wish I picked a different career”.

Some of these things are easier to change than others, and there’s no harm in wanting to change the things that we can change. After all, we all want to improve ourselves as a person.

But it’s important to maintain a positive outlook when thinking about stuff like this. Whenever you beat yourself up over something like this, try to find a part of the issue that’s within your circle of influence and work on that.

• Start tracking your calorie intake so that you can lose those 15 pounds.
• Find a skill that you want to improve and take lessons or an online course.
• Explore options to change or improve your current career path.

This type of thinking can really make a difference when you’re trying to not beat yourself up over past events. By thinking positively about yourself, you’re actually more likely to trigger a chain of thoughts that leads to positivity.

This last point was confirmed in a fun study by Barbara Frederickson. The study found that a positive mindset can be triggered, and more importantly, a positive mindset initiates more creativity and an urge to “play ball”.

Basically, when you have a positive mindset, you’re better able to deal with the challenges that life throws at you.

5. Distract yourself with something fun

One of the more interesting studies we’ve encountered over the years is from Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert. The study used random surveys to find that a wandering mind is more likely to be an unhappy mind.

In other words, if you are not busy actually doing something, your mind starts to wander. As a result, you’re more likely to beat yourself up over something as you simply have nothing to keep your mind occupy your mind with.

You can prevent this from happening by just distracting yourself with something fun.

Ideally, you want to find something that will occupy your mind and take up enough brainpower so that there’s no more room for dwelling on something negative. Some examples might include:

• Going for a run while listening to a podcast or audiobook (my personal favorite).
• Watching a movie on Netflix.
• Solving a crossword or sudoku.
• Talking to a friend.
• Simple forms of exercise.
• Etc.

While you can’t distract yourself for all eternity, this method can help you through the most difficult periods. So if you ever catch yourself feeling depressed because you’re being hard on yourself, try to simply distract yourself with something you enjoy doing.

6. Be critical of your negative self-thoughts

Everyone has an inner critic. It’s the nagging, negative voice in your head telling you that you’re a terrible person and that you don’t deserve to be happy.

This inner voice is often the main reason you’re beating yourself up. But what actually causes this inner voice to control the thoughts in your mind?

There are a number of causes, and they can vary based on your own experiences. The biggest causes of this negative inner voice are:

• Having been excessively criticized, scolded, or yelled at in the past.
• A general lack of confidence.
• Suffering from imposter syndrome.
• The fear of failure in the future.

If you want to stop beating yourself up, you need to start questioning your own negative thoughts.

While this might sound a little crazy, not all of our thoughts are helpful. So taking your internal monologue with a healthy dose of doubt is perfectly reasonable. In fact, one of the best questions to ask when you’re beating yourself up is: “Is this thought helpful?”

If it isn’t, why should you keep repeating it?

Other helpful questions include:

• What proof do I have that this (negative) thought is true or false?
• If my friend were in the same situation and thought the same way, what would I say to them?
• What are some alternative explanations for this situation?
• Will this matter one day from now? What about in one week or a month? How?

By learning to question your negative inner voice, you’re becoming more self-aware. This added self-awareness can help you focus on more positive thoughts in the future.

7. Talk to yourself as if you were your best friend

How would you react when your best friend shared a mistake he made years ago?

For example, if my best friend told me about a huge mistake he made at work that cost his company thousands of dollars, I’d offer him encouraging words. I’d say that everybody makes mistakes and that a single mistake he made doesn’t compare to all the good things he’s done.

This is the sort of support, encouragement, and love that you should show yourself when you’re beating yourself up. Why would you support your best friend, but not yourself?

Nobody’s stopping you from talking positively about yourself, so why should you?

8. Talk to a friend

If talking to yourself as if you’re a friend is not your thing, try talking to an actual friend. Talking to a friend allows you to make sense of your own thoughts, as you’ll be forced to put your thoughts into words. Simply giving a voice to your issues can help you realize why you’re unfairly hurting yourself for the wrong reasons.

(This is also why writing about your issues is such a great method that can help you deal with a problem.)

Besides, talking to a friend is a great way to relieve stress and negativity. A good friend will support you in your struggles and will want to improve your mood.

Even if you don’t figure out how to stop beating yourself up, you’ll at least find comfort in knowing that there’s a person out there who cares about you.

9. Seek help

When you just can’t seem to stop beating yourself up over something, it’s important to seriously take care of yourself.

A therapist or counselor can help you look at your issues from a new perspective. When you’ve been dealing with negativity for a long time, it may seem that you have thought about every aspect of it. In reality, however, there can be parts of the problem that you are unconsciously ignoring and a professional can help you shed light on those areas.

More often than not, these problems are easy to spot for a person that is looking from the “outside-in”, instead of your personal “inside-out” point of view.

Besides the many benefits of therapy, the taboo on therapy is shrinking every day. You shouldn’t feel ashamed to admit to seeing a therapist. Your mental health is far more important than someone else’s opinion.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

If you keep beating yourself up over something, you’ll find it hard to be optimistic and positive about yourself. If that’s the case, you need to take care of your mental health by working on accepting yourself and seeking support. I hope the tips in this article will help you to stop beating yourself up and move towards happiness.

Do you struggle with self-acceptance? Is there something that happened in your past that you blame yourself for and beat yourself up about? How did you eventually grow beyond this? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post 9 Tips to Stop Beating Yourself Up (& be At Peace With Yourself) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

There’s a lethargy and inertia that comes from being in a funk. This heaviness is perfectly normal and happens to the best of us. If you are happy wallowing in this condition, I can’t help you. But if you are ready for brighter days, smiles, and visceral joy, that’s where I come in. 

This article will outline what it means to be in a funk and why this is bad for you. I will provide 5 tips on getting out of a funk that you can put to use right away.

What does it mean to be in a funk? 

Some days you jump out of bed and dart around like a hummingbird. And other days feel more of a drag. A struggle to get out from under the concrete cover, to face a day of grey and drab. 

When you are in a funk, the concrete days seem eternal, and the hummingbird days are a distant memory. 

Call it a funk, a slump, or a skunk (okay, maybe not a skunk). Whatever you call it, it is that sense of unhappiness without any reassuring hope. It feels like you are stuck wandering in the fog and can’t find your way out. 

There may not even be a particular reason for your funk. It is often a combination of many things. 

Here are some typical causes of getting stuck in a funk:

• Lack of challenge and stimulation in the workplace. 
• A feeling of monotony in your life. 
• No sense of purpose. 
• Limited engagement in social communities. 
• Too much news or negative media. 
• Doom scrolling on social media. 
• No interests or hobbies. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

The importance of escaping your funk 

Being in a funk serves one purpose and one purpose only. That is to send you a clear message that something needs to change. 

If you let your funk settle in and make itself at home, it may have a rather sinister impact and lead to: 

• Depression. 
• Reduced overall well-being. 
• Deterioration of relationships. 
• Reduced physical and mental health. 

Therefore, it’s clear to say that being in a funk will never make anyone happy. 

But here’s the thing, as part of our journey of self-discovery, it can be helpful to understand why we are in a funk in the first place. If we learn this, we may be able to prevent a funk in the future instead of responding in a reactionary manner. 

So, if you want to experience fulfilling relationships and enjoy life, you must process and escape your funk. 

5 ways to get out of a funk 

Being in a funk is frustrating. We want to move forward, but we need to figure out in what direction. A funk keeps us frozen with inertia. It is easier to break the cycle of the funk by staging an intervention. 

Here are 5 tips to help get you out of a funk. 

1. Force yourself to socialize

The last thing I want to do when I’m in a funk is to see people. But sometimes, the best thing I can do for myself is to force myself to go out. 

I know; it doesn’t make sense. But if you are anything like me, you may withdraw from others when you are in a funk. This social withdrawal can cause us to go deeper into our funk. According to this study, our mental health also suffers when we feel disconnected from others. 

When I say socialize, this could be a coffee with a trusted friend. For the best long-term results, I recommend joining one or two social communities that help prevent a funk in the first place. These groups are all around you and may look like this: 

• Sports club. 
• Special interest group. 
• Rambling group. 
• Nature watching club. 
• Sewing club. 
• Book club. 

Remember what they said in the Cheers theme tune, sometimes you want to go “where everybody knows your name.” Other’s knowing your name helps you feel like you belong and that you matter. 

2. Build healthy habits

Often, our funk can come about due to a lack of stimulation or a sense of purpose. In a nutshell, our system has just shut down with boredom. 

It may be time to shake your day around and jolt yourself back into the world of the living instead of hanging around the world of merely existing. 

What you need is an arsenal of healthy habits.

And the best way to build a habit is to start small. Instead of aiming to read a book per month, just aim to read 1-page per day.

Or instead of aiming to practice yoga for 1 hour, aim to just grab your yoga mat and start practicing.

Start with 3 blocks of 5 minutes each day. At this time, you can do any of these activities. 

• Yoga. 
• Text or call a friend. 
• Meditate. 
• Dance. 
• Listen to music. 
• Write in a journal. 
• Breathing exercises. 
• Back stretches. 
• Walk. 
• Read a book. 
• Write in a journal. 

In the second week, extend the time to 10 minutes. 

In the third week, develop one long session of 15 minutes and keep the others to 10 minutes. 

In the fourth week, extend your long session to 20 minutes and keep the others to 10 minutes. 

Now you have 3 established time blocks to fit new and healthy habits in, make the most of them, and appreciate the new stimulation and break from monotony. 

Here’s an article of ours that might interest you if you’re looking for more healthy mental health habits.

3. Laugh more

Laughing is a neat way to boost the feel-good endorphins. Laughter therapy has been proven by science to improve psychological and physiological health. 

We aren’t drawn to humor or comedy when in a funk. But if we drag ourselves to a comedy show or watch a light-hearted funny movie, we can help break free from the shackles of a funk. 

One of the best feelings in the world is laughing uncontrollably with friends or loved ones. 

There are plenty of comical videos online. It may be time to hit YouTube or Google or see if your favorite comedian is on Netflix. 

Prepare to exercise your abs with laughter. 

4. Maintain a bit of variety in your life

Humans need variety. Otherwise, life becomes dull and predictable. All too often, we sleepwalk through life and become overly familiar with what we see, hear, and smell. To such an extent, we switch off and barely pay attention. 

Yes, we like safety, but we also like challenge and freshness. Grab your nervous system’s attention; it’s time to invoke your senses and give yourself a different canvas. 

If you work from home, could you join a shared working space a few times a week? If you work in an office, switch up your commuting route. 

Travel down streets you have never visited. Take roads and turns you wouldn’t usually take. Wake yourself up from your living sleepwalk. 

But ultimately, the best way to obtain variety is to gain new interests and hobbies. According to this study, we feel happier when we engage in various activities for a long enough time to become engrossed in them.

If starting something new feels scary to you, here’s a helpful article about how to deal with the fear or starting something new.

5. Exercise

I may be biased, but exercise is the answer to everything. Even if you don’t like exercise, I can find a movement that suits you. 

Exercise is a scientifically tried and tested way to increase well-being and boost our mood. You don’t need to lift weights or run marathons to benefit from this phenomenon. 

Ideally, I’d like you to go out for a walk, run, cycle, or swim. But I appreciate that only some people enjoy or can participate in these exercises. 

Here are some other ideas of how you can incorporate exercise into your life: 

• Put on your favorite songs and dance in your living room. 
• Spend time gardening. 
• Go for a walk (preferably in nature!). 
• Kick a ball about with a child in your life. 
• Join a yoga group. 

The hardest thing is just to get started. Getting yourself out the door is the hardest part of exercising!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

It’s horrible to be in a funk, and it happens to all of us. Instead of feeling unhappy and hopeless, it’s time to get out of this funk. Stop the monotony of your life, face the fear of starting something new, and work on becoming happier tomorrow!

When was the last time you were in a funk? Do you have any suggestions for our readers that might help them get out of their funks? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Actionable Tips to Get Out of a Funk (Starting Today!) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Learning to organize your thoughts can reduce anxiety and help you gain clarity in life. It will also help you to be better at self-reflection and making sound decisions. So how can you get better at organizing your thoughts?

This article will teach you a few actionable steps, so you can take back control of your mind.

Why do our thoughts become disorganized?

You might be wondering how you got to this place where your thoughts run wild in your mind. It’s something I spent most of my early life trying to figure out.

Many of us struggle with feeling out of control when it comes to our thoughts. And in part, we may have to blame society and our evolving relationship with technology.

Research shows that consistent internet use makes us feel like it’s more difficult for us to focus and impacts our memory. And if you’re like me, you use the internet on a daily basis.

Similarly, another study found that consistent use of social media is linked to anxiety that’s rooted in our thought processing.

So our modern world that constantly exposes us to information left and right has made it more difficult to organize our thoughts. But it is by no means impossible. It just takes intentional effort.

Why should we try to organize our thoughts?

If you don’t mind disorganized thoughts, why should you care about organizing them? Unfortunately, the research indicates that disorganized thoughts can be at the root of many issues.

One study found that individuals with increased activity in the area of the brain involved in memory and thought processing were more likely to experience anxiety.

This would indicate that the lack of organization of our thoughts has a clear impact on our well-being. Given that thoughts can trigger the body to feel a specific way, this makes logical sense.

Another effect of not organizing your thoughts is you may be prone to thinking the same thoughts over and over again. Research suggests this can increase your stress and disturb the quality of your sleep.

I can personally attest that organized thoughts are a foundation for inner well-being. When I allow my thoughts to run rampant and don’t give them direction, they tend to lead me down a negative path.

On the other hand, when I take the time to organize my thoughts and reflect, the inner peace that I find is invaluable.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

5 ways to organize your thoughts

If you’re ready to become the director of your own thoughts, then step on up. These 5 tips will teach you ways that you can organize your thoughts to find clarity and peace.

1. Make space to reflect daily

Not many of us take time to reflect on our day-to-day lives. But reflection is a powerful tool for organizing your thoughts.

When you take time to stop and think about what happened during your day you can better process it.

I do this by taking 5 minutes each evening to mentally “rewind” through my day. I look at both the good and the bad moments.

I ask myself these two questions when reflecting. What did I learn? Could I do anything better?

These questions are especially helpful when something didn’t go quite right. Instead of letting my thoughts go wild and get the best of me, this reflection directs me to how I can improve.

You can follow my process or create your own. But you need to give yourself the time to consciously reflect otherwise your subconscious thoughts will do it for you.

2. Write out your “thought vomit”

I know “thought vomit” sounds gross, but hang with me here. Sometimes we feel like we can’t think straight.

In these moments, it can be particularly helpful to just throw up all your thoughts on a piece of paper.

Don’t try to organize your thoughts when you do this. You can go back and do that later. Or not.

By allowing yourself to let it all out and be free, you give your brain space to breathe again.

Once you have it all out, you can then go look for trends in your thoughts. And from these trends, you can determine solutions to your problems.

I use this technique often when I feel myself getting worked up over a situation. It always helps de-escalate my emotions and gives me insight into why I feel the way I do.

3. Take time to think about nothing

This may sound counterintuitive, but thinking about nothing may organize your thoughts.

I do this through meditation. Now I’m not one of those people who meditate for hours on end. I typically only do it for 2 to 5 minutes.

But when I feel like I can’t focus or get a grip on my thoughts, I stop and meditate.

Meditating or thinking about nothing is like pressing the reset button on your brain.

Just the other day, I was getting stressed out because I have to have dental surgery. I could feel my thoughts ranging from concern about the cost of missing work to the pain it would induce.

At that moment, I stopped and set a timer to meditate for 2 minutes. After those two minutes, I felt at ease. It allowed me to clearly navigate the next steps in getting my procedure set up.

4. Make yourself a to-do list

Sometimes our thoughts get disorganized because we’re overwhelmed by everything we need to do. In these cases, it’s best to use the classic to-do list to organize your thoughts.

I know many people don’t like to-do lists. But there is a reason they’ve been around for a long time.

They’re an effective method for giving you clear direction on what you need to do one step at a time.

I used to hate to-do lists, but that was because I was making mine far too long. Be realistic about what you can accomplish in a day and this will help.

When you have a straightforward list of what needs to be done that day, it frees up mental space for other things. Because now that thought about doing laundry or picking up your kid isn’t gnawing at you.

You can do this using an app or good old pen and paper. Give the to-do list a chance because it really can clear your mind.

If you want more tips on how to set better goals, here’s our article with 9 helpful tips!

5. Talk to someone about your thoughts

If you can’t seem to organize your thoughts on your own, maybe you need to give them a voice.

Saying your thoughts out loud to someone else helps you process them. And it helps give you insight into how to organize them.

The other day I was having trouble figuring out the next best steps with a patient. I had ruminated on this patient’s situation for days feeling like my thoughts were running in circles.

I finally decided to consult my colleague about the patient and tell them my thoughts. Saying it out loud made me realize some of the potential solutions on my own.

But my colleague was also able to help me logically organize my thought process. By doing this, we were able to determine the next best steps to help the patient succeed.

Talk to someone you trust and let them help guide your mind. Because sometimes we can’t do it all alone.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

In today’s world, it’s easy to let your thoughts run wild 24/7. Fortunately, organizing your thoughts can be the antidote to this mental chaos. The 5 tips in this article will help you find mental clarity and inner peace. Because no matter how loud your thoughts may be, you can always take back control with a little mental practice.

What are your favorite tips to organize your thoughts? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ashley Kaiser Author

Physical therapist, writer, and outdoor enthusiast from Arizona. Self-proclaimed dark chocolate addict and full-time adrenaline junkie. Obsessed with my dog and depending on the day my husband, too.

The post 5 Ways to Organize Your Thoughts (When You’re Overwhelmed) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Worrying is often a habit, so stopping is a conscious decision. The best way to deal with worrying is to take a proactive approach and take control of your thoughts. From mindfulness approaches to conscious planning, there are plenty of ways to stop the worry train and focus on the things you can do for your future instead of simply thinking about it. 

In this article, I’ll take a look at why we worry and how to stop worrying about the future. 

Why do we worry?

I have always been a worrier. Right now, I am planning a field trip for my students and as expected, I’m constantly finding new things to worry about. Is the weather going to be okay? Is the trip too expensive if we do a sleepover? But if we drive back at night, will the students get home safely?

And when I’m not worried about specific things, I’m worried about the future in general. 

You probably have your own examples of worrying over things that are big or small, vague or specific, immediate or still far ahead. But why do we worry?

Worried thinking is aimed at potential future dangers or threats and can be considered an attempt to avoid or cope with them. In other words, worrying is normal and should help us prepare for future challenges.

For example, a 2013 article found that habitual worry over climate change is a perfectly normal response to an abnormal situation. 

However, worrying can be dysfunctional and do more harm than good when it becomes repetitive or persistent, or when we find ourselves worrying over things we can’t control. In my case, worrying about the weather during the field trip is futile because the forecast isn’t accurate 3 weeks ahead of time, and even if it was, I can’t control the weather anyway. 

Worrying can also take up precious cognitive resources that could be put to other use.

A 2017 study reports that active worrying impairs working memory capacity. According to a 2013 article, both worrying and rumination are associated with reduced cognitive control, making it more difficult for worriers and ruminators to switch between internal representations in working memory. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

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Why do some people worry more than others?

I’m a worrier, but luckily I have friends who are more chill and relaxed. On some level, these differences may come down to personality: for example, a 2014 study reports that people who score higher on neuroticism worry more in daily life and generate more worry-related thoughts after being presented with a worry-inducing sentence. 

According to a 2015 study, this relationship between personality traits and worrying can be explained by individual differences in tolerance of uncertainty. People who have a lower tolerance for uncertainty tend to worry more as a coping mechanism. 

Another study from 2015 reports tentative evidence of verbal intelligence being a positive predictor of both worry and rumination. In other words, people who are more verbally intelligent also worry more. 

4 methods to stop worrying about the future

This may make it seem like worrying is uncontrollable and there’s nothing you can do if you were born a worrier. Luckily, worrying can be controlled, and knowing how to do it is especially important when you’re prone to worrying.

Here are 4 actionable tips on how to stop worrying about the future. 

1. Be mindful

Research shows that mindfulness practices are effective ways to stop worrying. For example, a 2010 article reports that mindfulness is effective in reducing chronic worry. Since mindfulness is all about staying consciously in the moment and focusing on the here and now, it couldn’t be more different from anxious worrying about the future. 

To calm your mind, you can try focusing on your breathing to stay in the moment with these breathing exercises. If you’re looking for a more immersive experience, you can try this guided meditation from Inner Space.

2. Move your body

Turns out that a good way to get out of your head is to get moving. A 2016 study found that physical exercise was just as effective in reducing worrying as mindfulness meditation. According to the authors, physical exercise leads to mindful awareness: 

We also expect that during physical activity, there is little attention space for thinking and rumination and thus greater here and now attention. Furthermore, physical exercise in this study sometimes took place outside, and contact with nature and simply the physical sensations of warmth and cold, humidity and dry, etc., may have enhanced present moment awareness.

So the next time you find yourself worrying about the future, try going for a run, hitting the gym, or doing some yoga. 

3. Focus on what you can control

Worrying is related to trying to prepare for the future, but this means that we can sometimes worry about things we have no control over.

A good way to reduce or stop worrying altogether is to start paying close attention to the things you worry about and dividing them into three categories:

1. Things you can control.
2. Things you can influence.
3. Things you have no control or influence over.

Learning to accept the things in the third category and focusing on the first two will bring you peace of mind. 

4. Set goals and plan your steps

Once you’ve separated the things you can control from the ones you can’t, it’s important to take a proactive approach towards your future. Setting clear goals and working towards them is the only way you can control what your future will look like. 

When setting goals, it’s a good idea to use the SMART rule. A good goal is:

• Specific.
• Measurable.
• Achievable.
• Relevant.
• Timed.

Once you have your goal, plan the steps you have to take toward it. Ideally, the first step should be something you can do in the next 24 hours. In my personal experience, the 24-hour trick is especially helpful for making me really feel in control. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

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Wrapping up

Worrying is normal and it can have its uses, but there can be too much of a good thing. When worrying has become a habit, the best course of action is to take a conscious and proactive approach toward your own thoughts. Try mindfulness techniques to stay present, focus on what you can control, and set conscious goals to break the habit of worrying. Not only will these techniques help you reduce worrying, but they will also help you create the future you want.

What do you think? Do you find one particular tactic more efficient in your quest to stop worrying? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!

Maili Tirel Author

School psychologist, teacher and internet counselor from Estonia. Passionate about coffee, reading, dancing, and singing in the shower, much to the neighbors’ dismay. Counseling catchphrase: “It’s okay!“

The post 4 Simple Ways to Stop Worrying About the Future appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Many, if not most, health complications have links to stress. And unless you take decisive action to decompress from your stress, you could be in line for a stern awakening. Ignoring signs of stress is not heroic. Don’t be the person in denial about your health, and instead, take action today. 

This article will discuss the symptoms and impact of stress. It will then suggest 5 ways you can decompress from stress and work.

How can we tell if we are stressed? 

We all get stressed from time to time. Stress impacts us all differently. Some of us thrive on stress, and others buckle with it. We all have different tipping points. 

According to this article, our work environment often accounts for significant stress in our lives. We may be working toward a multi-million dollar deadline. Or perhaps we are a medic and responsible for life and death. No matter what level of responsibility we carry at work, I guarantee you will experience work-related stress at some point.

Did you know there is a specific type of stress that is good for you? This good stress is called eustress. You will have experienced it when you felt excited about a first date or doing something daring. 

Bad stress is very different from eustress. Bad stress can be devastating to your well-being.

Physical signs that we are stressed include: 

• Muscle tension, which can lead to chronic pain. 
• Headaches and migraines. 
• Shortness of breath or rapid breathing. 
• Increase in blood pressure and heart rate.
• Increased cortisol levels.
• Compromised immune system.
• Digestive problems.
• Sexual performance issues. 
• Sleep disturbance. 
• Absent or irregular menstrual cycle. 
• Fatigue 

Psychological signs that we are stressed include: 

• Mood swings. 
• Change in appetite. 
• Apathy. 
• Feeling guilty, helpless, or hopeless. 
• Avoiding family and friends. 

You only need to identify with a few of the symptoms above to self-diagnose with stress.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

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What is the impact of stress? 

We now know we must keep our stress levels in check to maintain a healthy equilibrium. We must create a positive work-life balance to promote our well-being. I appreciate that this can be difficult, especially if we have a high-pressure, demanding job or a particularly difficult boss. 

If we succumb to stress, we are no good to anyone at work, and our performance will deteriorate. 

In the short term, stress will impact your relationships and cause you to push people away. You may burn out at work, leaving you with a lack of energy or inspiration to carry out your duties to your standard quality.

In terms of the longer-term impact, if left unchecked, stress can have a catastrophic impact on our lives. I’m talking divorce and job losses here. And perhaps of most significant consequence, if you ignore stress signs and continue living with high stress levels, you may end up in an early grave! 

5 ways to decompress from stress and work

For our health and longevity, we must look after ourselves. To do this, we need to identify stress symptoms and react with self-compassion and understanding. 

Think of this process as stopping to refuel a car. It may be inconvenient to stop, but ultimately if you don’t stop, you will come to a grinding halt on the side of the road and go nowhere. Sometimes we need to stop or slow down to go faster! 

Here are 5 ways to help you decompress from stress and work. 

1. Decompress by exercising 

Exercise can come in many different forms. From dancing to running, weight lifting to walking, there is something for everyone on the exercise front. Those who say they don’t like exercise have just not found the most suitable form of exercise for them. 

Exercise helps reduce stress levels by giving our body a boost of stress-fighting endorphins. 

Studies have shown that just 20 minutes a day of exercise helps reduce stress and aids relaxation. 

Exercise is my go-to de-stressor. It was there for me when I needed to decompress from attending chaotic and violent incidents as a police officer. Exercise helped me calm my mind after I was first on the scene of a gruesome murder. 

So make sure you fit exercise into your daily plan. If you need more tips, here’s an article of ours that explains how you can exercise for happiness.

2. Engage in a hobby

When we spend time doing something we love, we often get into a flow state. The flow state is a “state of mind in which a person becomes fully immersed in an activity.” 

This flow definition means when we find flow with a hobby, we find mindfulness. 

There is a myriad of hobbies available to us. If you don’t already have something you are passionate about, it’s time to go out there and find something. A great starting point is scouring the adult courses available where you are.

Here are some ideas:

• Painting and drawing. 
• Learn a musical instrument. 
• Learn a language. 
• Garden. 
• Take part in a pottery class. 
• Join a community volunteering group.

If you need more convincing, here’s an article that explains why it’s important to simply do more of what makes you happy.

3. Socialize after work

Sometimes, getting out and socializing with friends is a great distraction and helps stop the pattern of rumination stress can induce. 

While you don’t always need to talk about your work, sometimes it can be helpful to open up. A problem shared is a problem halved, so the saying goes. I don’t condone being that person to constantly offload to your friends without checking if they have the emotional bandwidth to listen.

But I absolutely endorse discussing your struggles and, perhaps, for balance, also pointing out what is going well in your life so you don’t just drag everyone down. 

We are sociable creatures. Sometimes when we are stressed, it is tempting to withdraw and retreat. But this will only make us feel worse. 

When you feel you want to hide away, this is a time you need to drag yourself out and be around people you love and trust. 

4. Read more

I love how books can bring us complete escapism. They shut our brains down from reality and drag us into a different world. 

When we read, we distract our brain from whatever it is chewing on. And get this, if you want to optimize the benefits of reading, science suggests we should read out loud. The respiration involved in reading aloud helps engage the parasympathetic nervous system on the out-breath. 

So whether it’s your own kids or a friend’s kids, this is a great reason to volunteer for bedtime story duties. Who knew reading a bedtime story to young children could have such a mutual benefit? 

5. Decompress by meditating when stressed

By now, we recognize meditation is the answer for almost everything. It helps us find the connection between our mind and body and allows us to engage with our parasympathetic nervous system. Engaging with our parasympathetic nervous system reduces our blood pressure and heart rate and boosts our immunity.  

In our article on meditation, we suggested 5 key benefits of meditation: 

• It improves our physiology. 
• Can treat mental health issues (including stress).
• Enhance our understanding of self.
• It helps us find joy.
• Energize and relax us.

Meditation is a crucial tool for reducing stress levels.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

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Wrapping up 

By its very nature, work can be stressful. It might not be the work itself that is stressful, but the culture or a dictator-style boss can raise our stress levels unnecessarily. Either way, it’s important to decompress from both stress and work. You hold the power to ensure the stress from your work does not permeate into your personal life. 

Is there anything you do to help decompress from stress and work? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Ali Hall Author

Kindness is my superpower. Dogs and nature are my oxygen. Psychology with Sports science graduate. Scottish born and bred. I’ve worked and traveled all over the world. Find me running long distances on the hills and trails.

The post 5 Actionable Ways to Decompress from Stress and Work appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

In this increasingly digital age, it’s practically impossible to live a life completely detached from the online world. With the rise of social media and the recent unprecedented surge in remote work, a huge portion of our lives requires us to be ‘plugged in.’ Despite how tempting it is to check your phone as soon as it buzzes or put in extra hours to get ahead at work, it’s important to unplug once in a while. As amazing and essential as technology is, you have an entire life that exists outside of it. Sometimes, you have to unplug to fully experience it. 

In this article, I’ll explore why it’s so difficult to unplug in this modern era, the dangers of being too attached to screens, and tips on how to unplug. 

Why it’s so hard to unplug 

If you’ve ever forgotten your phone at home, you probably know how disorienting and unnatural it feels to accidentally unplug for a few hours.

Research shows that ‘nomophobia’ or the fear of being disconnected from our mobile phones causes most people anxiety. The anxiety-inducing feeling of being without your phone seems to be a universal experience among modern-day humans.

Similarly, it’s common for people to subconsciously open social media apps and mindlessly scroll for hours. As a social species, our brains are wired to seek out positive social stimuli.

Social media app developers understand this better than anyone and purposely design apps to be addictive. A study found that the dopamine we receive from someone retweeting a tweet or liking a social media post activates the same reward circuits in our brain as money, delicious food, and psychostimulant drugs.  

In contrast, some people struggle to unplug because their success depends on constantly being plugged in. Entrepreneurs, digital nomads, and remote workers sometimes find their work seeping into other aspects of their lives. 

The dangers of being constantly plugged in

The pandemic forced an unprecedented number of people to work from home. For many, it was a tough adjustment. It’s hard to separate your work from your home life especially when they both occur in the same environment.

A study of remote workers during the pandemic discovered that a concerning number of them experienced higher levels of stress and burnout.

Just as excessive work is harmful to you, so is excessive social media usage. Research suggests that social media use is linked to several mental health disorders. Despite its ability to produce dopamine, social media might also cause insomnia, anxiety, and depression. 

In worst-case scenarios, the inability to unplug could even result in serious injuries or death. A data study of cell phone usage and car accidents found a positive correlation between call volumes and accidents that resulted in serious injury. While there are laws to prevent distracted driving in most countries, those who can’t unplug from their work or social lives might find it more difficult to abide by them.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

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Why unplugging will make you happier 

With technologies such as streaming services and virtual reality, unplugging to be happy might seem unnecessary. Alternatively, hustle culture which values unrelenting hard work often dismisses the importance of rest. 

However, studies show that rest and being unplugged is crucial to your health. Doing nothing isn’t always a bad thing. Rest is not only vital to your physical and mental health, it can also boost your productivity when you return to work. 

While it is possible to rest and still use screens, a study on ICU patients found that spending time outdoors significantly reduced stress. Spending a few minutes every day surrounded by nature can do wonders for your mental wellness. 

Research also suggests that limiting your social media use can actually decrease depression and loneliness. When participants restricted their time on social media, the feeling of ‘FOMO’ or fear of missing out dissipated. As a result, their well-being drastically improved. 

5 simple ways to unplug 

If you struggle to function without your phone or disconnect from work completely, you’re not alone. Here are 5 tips to help you unplug from our increasingly digital world and be more intentional about rest. 

1. Silence your notifications 

Email, text, and social media flood our phones with nonstop notifications. Unless you’ve tinkered with your settings and turned some of them off, your phone probably buzzes all day.

While the hit of dopamine from a like on Instagram or a message from a friend is instantly gratifying, it can become addicting. 

Notifications are designed to entice us to check our phones constantly. Have you ever opened a social media app to quickly check a notification but ended up scrolling through your feed for half an hour? 

If you want to unplug and resist the urge to check your phone every time a notification appears, try silencing them. Notifications serve as incessant reminders to plug back into our hypersocial digital world. Turning off the sound and vibration of social notifications makes these reminders a lot easier to ignore. 

2. Track your app usage 

Social media app developers recognize how easy yet unhealthy it is to scroll mindlessly through feeds. For those who want to be more mindful of their time spent on social media, many apps now have a built-in usage tracker. 

In addition to displaying the duration of time you spend on the app, these trackers provide the option to set reminders. This tool allows users to track their usage and hold themselves accountable by setting a reminder for a specific time limit. 

While you can still continue to use the app after the reminder pops up, these in-app trackers are undoubtedly a step in the right direction. 

3. Schedule a monthly digital detox

One of the best ways to unplug is to literally unplug from the digital world. While some experts recommend doing a digital detox once a week, this is a big ask for anyone who hasn’t turned off their smartphone in years. 

If you want to make a habit of unplugging, you might find more success by starting off slow with a monthly rather than a weekly digital detox. Here are a few tips to help your detox from digital devices go smoothly: 

• Figure out a realistic duration for your detox. If your work or other obligations won’t allow a full 24 hours, try scheduling the detox from sunrise to sunset instead. 
• Inform your family and friends of your scheduled detox to prevent them from worrying if they’re unable to reach you. 
• If turning your phone off is not enough to reduce the temptation of checking certain apps, delete those apps entirely and reinstall them when your digital detox is done. 
• Plan fun activities to do during your digital detox such as reading a book, going out for a hike, or taking on a creative project. 
• Ask your partner or friend to join you on your digital detox. 
• Immerse yourself in nature completely with a cottage getaway or a camping trip. 

4. Create a mindful morning or night routine 

In the event that a complete digital fast is not feasible for your lifestyle, consider implementing a screen-free morning or night routine instead. 

Chances are, one of the first things you do as soon as you wake up is check your phone for notifications. Instead of reaching for your phone in the morning, you could try to incorporate the following habits into your routine: 

• Doing a morning meditation or affirmation.
• Performing a relaxing yoga routine.
• Going for an early jog.
• Taking a morning walk. 
• Writing in a journal.

In addition to reducing your screen time in the morning, it’s also a good idea to limit your screen time before bed. In fact, the CDC recommends removing electronic devices from the bedroom entirely to practice good sleep hygiene. 

5. Implement a no-screen rule at the dinner table 

A conversation with someone preoccupied with their phone can feel frustrating and one-sided. Most of the time, their attention is too focused on their phone to actually listen to what you’re saying. 

If you want to unplug and be more present at mealtimes, consider trying a no-screen rule. Eliminating the distractions of phones fosters more meaningful conversations. This allows you to fully connect and give your undivided attention to others at the table. 

Practicing a no-screen rule yourself might encourage others to do the same as well. If you’re dining out at a restaurant, you could turn it into a fun game in which the person who reaches for their phone first has to pay for the bill. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

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Wrapping up 

As technology continues to progress at a rapid pace, it’s becoming more and more difficult to disconnect from the digital world. Whether you struggle to ignore social media notifications or set clear boundaries between rest and work, it’s a good idea to unplug whenever you can. By managing your social media usage and reducing your screen time, you’ll be able to reap the full benefits of resting and unplugging.

What do you think? Do you know how to unplug, or are you finding it hard to close the door on all your addicting distractions? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Andrea Araya Author

Writer and recovering perfectionist from Canada. A huge fan of stories, empathy, and matcha lattes. May or may not have a tendency to cry at everything especially acts of kindness.

The post 5 Tips to Unplug and Disconnect From Chaos (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

The trickiest thing about rumination is that it seems like you’re doing something to solve the problem by thinking about it. Actually, you’re rehashing the same negative thoughts and feelings, without trying to find a solution. Coming out of the spiral is more complicated than just hitting stop, but it’s completely possible with a mindful and solution-focused approach and a little distraction.

In this article, I’ll take a look at what rumination is, why it’s not doing you any favors and how to stop ruminating. 

What is rumination exactly?

You’re probably familiar with the feeling of lying awake at night, thinking about something that happened years ago. Or spending your ride home going over something you said at work, worrying over the impression you might have left. 

This kind of repetitive thinking is known as rumination. The term was initially coined in 1991 by American psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema as a part of her response styles theory. 

According to this theory, rumination involves repetitively and passively focusing on symptoms of distress and its possible causes and consequences.

Rumination does not lead to active problem-solving. Instead, people who ruminate remain fixated on the problems and on their feelings about them without taking action.

Co-rumination is the act of repeatedly discussing these thoughts and feelings with someone else without finding or trying to find a solution or resolution. 

There is evidence that women tend to ruminate more than men. But the good news is that people seem to ruminate less the older they get. 

What’s the difference between ruminating and worrying?

If ‘rumination’ just sounds like a fancy word for ‘worry’ for you, you aren’t too far off.

The two do overlap and are believed to stem from the same processes, but worrying thoughts are usually more future-oriented, while rumination is more concerned with the past, according to a 2005 study. 

Why rumination is bad for you

It’s pretty clear that you aren’t doing yourself any favors by playing a problem over and over again in your head without trying to find a solution. Getting stuck in that negative loop will only serve to deepen the distress. However, the negative effects of rumination don’t end there. 

Rumination may lead to depression

Rumination is closely related to depression, both as a symptom and a predictor.

For example, a 2010 study found that higher levels of rumination were associated with a greater likelihood of experiencing both a current depressive episode and a past history of depressive episodes. The study also found that rumination correlated with greater severity and duration of depressive episodes. 

A 2013 article reports that other predictors of both depression and anxiety disorders, like a family history of mental health difficulties, social deprivation, and traumatic or abusive life experiences, seem to be mediated by psychological processes like rumination. In other words, these disorders don’t seem to be caused by our baggage, but rather by how we think about it. 

Interestingly, the connection between depression and rumination isn’t purely psychological.

The results of a 2012 study showed that rumination was associated with volume reductions in brain areas that have been related to cognitive control processes like inhibition and thought suppression. It was found that this also plays a role in depression. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

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Rumination impairs your physical health

Rumination doesn’t just affect your mental health. A 2012 review found that there is a relationship between ruminative thinking and impaired physical health.

For example, rumination may intensify the perception of perceived somatic symptoms or result in genuine biological stress. Furthermore, rumination can also be a predictor and contributing factor to physical pain.

How to stop ruminating

The good news is that rumination doesn’t have to lead to a psychological disorder or a physical illness – the cycle can be broken.

Here are 5 tips for when you get stuck in the same distressing patterns. 

1. Distract yourself

Diverting your attention to something else is often the easiest way to get out of the mental rut. Try to come up with different distraction activities that you can use in different settings: some that you can use at work, some you can use while out and about, and some for those late-night thoughts in bed. 

Ideally, you want to find something that will occupy your mind and take up enough brainpower so that there’s no more room for the ruminative thought spiral. Some examples might include:

• Playing a game (I find Tetris to be a great distraction).
• Reading a book.
• Watching a movie/video.
• Solving a crossword or sudoku.
• Talk to a friend or loved one (but try to avoid co-rumination).
• Exercise.

If you need help finding new things to try, here’s an article we published with a list full of new things to try in your life.

2. Question your thoughts

Questioning your own thoughts might sound a little crazy. However, not all of our thoughts are helpful, so taking your internal monologue with a healthy dose of doubt is perfectly reasonable. In fact, one of the best questions to ask when you find yourself ruminating is: “Is this thought helpful?”

If it isn’t, why should you keep repeating it?

Other helpful questions include:

• What proof do I have that this thought is true or false?
• If my friend were in the same situation and thought the same way, what would I say to them?
• What are some alternative explanations for this situation?
• Will this matter one day from now? What about in one week, or a month? How?

3. Try mindfulness

Mindfulness is all about being present and focusing on the here and now without judgment. In a sense, it is the exact opposite of rumination. 

Practicing mindfulness meditation, trying a mindful breathing exercise, or learning how to say “It is what it is” to let go of distressing thoughts and feelings can help you stop ruminating and promote a generally calmer and happier existence. 

4. Focus on the solution

One of the dangers of rumination is that it feels like we’re trying to solve a problem by going over it again and again. However, you won’t find a solution by just reliving the negative thoughts and feelings. 

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is consciously turn your attention to finding a solution. You can simply try brainstorming solutions and weighing their pros and cons.

If you need more tips on how to focus on solutions instead of problems, here’s our article on how to stop running away from your problems.

5. Seek therapy or counseling

If you find yourself ruminating a lot and it starts to affect your everyday functioning or when the previous tips aren’t working, it’s a good idea to seek professional help.

In that case, it might not be as simple as stopping the ruminating behaviors, but there may be underlying causes and problems that need to be addressed. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Wrapping up

Rumination is common, but it’s generally not very useful. It may feel like you’re working on a problem by constantly thinking about it, while you’re actually rehashing negative thoughts and feelings, which can lead to mental and physical health issues. Stopping rumination involves breaking out of the automatic pattern and taking conscious, mindful, and solution-focused steps toward problem-solving. And if all else fails, don’t hesitate to seek professional help.

What do you think? Have you found a strategy that helps you stop the negative cycle of ruminating about things over and over again? I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments below!

Maili Tirel Author

School psychologist, teacher and internet counselor from Estonia. Passionate about coffee, reading, dancing, and singing in the shower, much to the neighbors’ dismay. Counseling catchphrase: “It’s okay!“

The post 5 Powerful Ways to Stop Ruminating (With Examples) appeared first on Tracking Happiness.