Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, I’m Victoria! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m a 2x boy mama, intuitive healer, and embodiment coach who demystifies ancient energetic practices like Kundalini Yoga and the Akashic Records. I live in Atlanta, GA with my husband, Will, and our two boys, Sebastian (4), and Rocky (17 months). 

I’m super passionate about helping women uncover who they really are vs who society has told them to be. A miscarriage in 2018 sent me on the path of self-discovery, and since then, I’ve healed disordered eating, anxiety, and body dysmorphia with the somatic and energetic practices I teach my clients. 

I was always a happy person, but since diving deeper into my internal world and well-being, I’ve become the fully expressed version of myself I was always meant to be.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My anxiety started in college. I honestly wouldn’t have considered myself an overly anxious person, but often, before tests, I wouldn’t be able to sleep. My mind would continue to race with test questions, what-if scenarios, and if I was prepared enough.

Raised as an only child, it was around this time that I found out I was going to be a big sister – a 20-year-old big sister. 

This feeling of out-of-controlness started to spread beyond test time, and soon, I was binging and purging daily. Looking back, I think it was a mix of anxiety and OCD.

To me, what I ate (or didn’t eat) and put in my body was the only thing I could control. I was never formally diagnosed with either, but smoked weed daily to cope not realizing it would eventually make my anxiety worse.

On the outside, I was super high-functioning. I got good grades, and I had a lot of friends, but internally it was a roller coaster, and I felt really insecure.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At my worst moments, post-college, I think I truly hated myself. Again, to the outside eye, I was high-functioning, but I was making really poor decisions. I was cheating on my boyfriend at the time, partying for all hours, and doing anything I could to escape my reality.

I did workout regularly, and that definitely helped, but I was far away from family and everything I knew as a young adult in New York City. I was lonely, even if I wouldn’t admit that to myself. It’s a hard city to live in, and as an introverted extrovert, I didn’t really know how to take care of myself. 

I’d cycle from being out all hours of the night with tons of people to holing myself up in my room all day smoking weed and sleeping because I didn’t have the energy to do anything else. I grew really frustrated at my job when I was looked over (rightfully) for a promotion, and I felt unfulfilled. 

If you talked to me at the time you probably thought I was living the dream, but it was a really dark time for me.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

My boyfriend and I at the time got into a really bad fight – probably one of our worst – and afterward I had this lightbulb moment of “this isn’t who I am.” This hateful, angry person wasn’t who I was raised to be, or who I really was at my core.

I also knew that our relationship was really and truly over. We’d kind of talked around it for a few months, but I made the decision to move back to the South after finding a new job. My boyfriend didn’t come with me. 

The weekend I flew to Birmingham, Alabama to try and find a new apartment and car at the same time was tough. I cried the whole time. I knew it was what I needed to do, though. 

Because I didn’t really know anybody, I was able to start over. I went back to Bikram Yoga – a form of hot yoga – multiple times a week, and I started to see glimpses of the real me again. 

Even though my anxiety felt like it was in check, I still carried a lot of anger. Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully “healed,” or that anyone really is, but I’ve made peace with so many parts of myself. Healing has been a beautiful journey of uncovering myself, and although it’s hard, I’ve found it’s so worth it. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Moving my body was the start of it all. I’d been a dancer when I was younger – and even through college – but I’d stopped for a long time. Rediscovering my yoga practice allowed me to find peace within myself. Even if it was just for the duration of the class. 

Soon, I was taking yoga classes online daily. I really resonated with a fast-paced style of yoga called Buti because it incorporated dancing, but I encourage you to try many styles until you find the one you like.

I often put music on and just dance around the house. There’s no way you can do that and not feel good afterward. It’s an immediate endorphin high. I love doing it with my kids, too.

Now, I’m an avid Kundalini yogi. Kundalini is the yoga of awareness, and its mix of mudra (hand placements), mantra (sound current), and movement is really what changed it all for me.

I meet myself on the mat every single morning and it’s a place to study myself and my feelings. I often journal afterward to continue to uncover whatever is moving inside of me.

You have to feel your feelings. After spending years of numbing mine with weed and booze, I realized the only way out was through. You’re going to continue to walk around with all of these swirling, low-vibration emotions until you allow them a healthy release.

It doesn’t mean I’m perfect – far from it – but I’m able to give myself a lot more compassion and grace. I grew up being told I was too much or that I was overly emotional, but now I realize they’re my superpower. Tears are medicine.

When we’re feeling emotional, it just means that energy is in motion, which is a good thing. When things get stuck energetically and physically, that’s when it can manifest into anxiety, depression, etc.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I didn’t really talk about this with anyone for a long time, but I started my own podcast last June, Flip the Script with Vic, and it’s really helped me find peace. It’s also allowed me to see how so many others are struggling with the same things.

Talking it out to a microphone has been very therapeutic and far outweighs any notions I’ve had of “what will they think of me?” I was actually most scared to tell my grandmother a lot of these stories, and she’s been so encouraging and is my number one podcast listener.

I also share a lot on Instagram (@victoriamargauxnielsen), and it’s been amazing to see how it resonates with other people when I’m authentically myself. To be witnessed in that way is incredible.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

You are worthy exactly as you are. And what you’re going through doesn’t define you – you get to do that. You get to choose how you move forward. 

Also, forgiveness is huge. Mainly of yourself. You did the best you could at the time, even if it doesn’t feel like it. All you can do is keep trying. Forgiveness means giving forward – you’re giving forward to your future. When you’re stuck ruminating in the past, you aren’t giving the future your full energy or attention. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

May Cause Miracles by Gaby Bernstein has been my most influential book!

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find out more about my work here or join my beautiful community on Instagram. The Flip the Script with Vic podcast, a weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective, shares new episodes every Tuesday.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Yoga Helped Me Overcome Anxiety, Binge Eating and Body Dysmorphia appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hey! My name is Sophia Victoria, a young blogger, and entrepreneur doing life in Austin, Texas.

Although I currently live in Texas, I don’t know how long I’ll stay here. My family moves… a lot… to say the least.

I’m the youngest of 4 children, born and raised in Argentina, and I speak 2+ languages. My three older brothers were each born in different countries, so you can imagine how many places we’ve lived!

In my free time, when I’m not working or writing, I daydream about moving to Europe, specifically Amsterdam. Besides my constant daydreaming, I love learning about health and wellness, reading, weight-lifting, journaling, and jamming out to any British rap.

I would consider myself to be joyful. I could be crying, sad, and anxious but still joyful. I realized happiness is a fleeting state dependent on outside factors. I made a conscious effort to build a foundation of gratitude within myself. Focusing on gratitude helps me maintain a positive state of mind regardless of whatever difficulties I may be facing.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Well, I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa and Anxiety Disorder in 2019.

My anxiety was definitely a late diagnosis. Ever since I was a kid, I remember living under a cloud of anxiety.

For example, when my family and I would go out to Buenos Aires (the capital of Argentina), I would often have full-blown panic attacks. I would lose my appetite entirely and often get sick from the overwhelming thoughts consuming my headspace.

My thoughts spiraled through the darkest possibilities: from potential kidnappings to someone stealing my parents’ phone. My heart would race, I would start feeling nauseous, and become hyper-aware of all of my surroundings.

A few years later, my family moved once again, triggering feelings of desperation, anxiety, and lack of control. English wasn’t my first language then, and leaving behind my childhood friends and familiar surroundings left me feeling hopeless.

The whole situation acted as a trigger for my anxiety. Nevertheless, I performed well in school, continuing my overachieving tendencies.

I could overachieve, strive, and succeed at school. But, no matter how hard I tried, I never seemed to fit in. I wasn’t like the stereotypical blonde, skinny, athletic, and social girls everyone seemed to love and accept. 

All these factors collided, creating a perfect storm. My insecurities and anxiety raged like never before, and before I knew it, I was diagnosed with Anorexia at the age of 12. 

It started with innocent intentions of becoming healthier, but in months, I had to be pulled out from school, dropped weight quickly, was scared of my favorite foods, and felt like a shell of a person. I could recognize my family was concerned and wanted to stop, but I felt a grip on me—I couldn’t stop. I was in too deep. 

Despite being aware that my heart was weakening, my electrolytes were imbalanced, and my organs were shutting down, I couldn’t find a way to stop. I was going in a downward spiral at extreme velocities.

And no one ever seemed to get it. It was never about being skinny. It was the sense of numbness, false sense of control, and comfort that kept me addicted to the high of this cycle.

I was eventually hospitalized and then sent off to residential treatment. I jumped through the hoops, ate the food, and restored some weight. However, Anorexia is a mental thing, not a physical one. So, on paper, I was recovered, but deep down, I was still struggling.

Once I was able to really work through the root cause of my anxiety and self-image, that is when things really started to shift.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

It depends on when you’d ask me that question. My anxiety has always left me feeling misunderstood and like a loser. Thoughts like, ‘Why can everyone enjoy this moment, and I’m freaking out?’ or ‘Why can’t I just go talk to them?’ and ‘Why am I acting like this?’ were a constant chorus in my mind.

Anorexia harmoniously intertwined with my anxiety. It offered a deceptive sense of control that numbed me both physically and psychologically. The peak of my eating disorder was before I was officially diagnosed.

I wasn’t doing anything “wrong”; on the contrary, I was doing everything right. I was looking better and getting compliments and praise for my self-discipline. Yet at my lowest, I felt desperate and like a failure. I believed there was something inherently wrong with me.

What was supposed to make me better and help me fit in somehow morphed into yet another source of insecurity and instability. I remember thinking, ‘A baby can do better than me. I can’t even accomplish the basic task of eating properly.’ This was disheartening.

I was in denial of my eating disorder until it became painfully evident, something no one could ignore. My family was aware of it, and my teachers knew something was wrong, but I never told anyone out loud.

The few friends I had made asked me where I was. Halfway through the school year, I just disappeared. But the feelings of shame, self-loading, and embarrassment held a knife to my throat and kept me silent. I lied and told them I started home-schooling for convenience purposes.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

The one blessing that came from my Anorexia is that I also got diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder. These labels were relieving, but at the same time, frightening. I was relieved I finally knew what was happening, but also mortified that the labels determined who I was and how I was bound to live.

Two years after my diagnosis, I got this strong feeling of not wanting to be known as the anxious girl any longer. I decided that the label would be a guide for me to get better but not dictate who I was or who I would become.

That moment started turning things around. I started studying the science behind anxiety, eating disorders, habits, and treatments. Identifying the patterns, cycles, and habits I had created felt liberating.

The eating disorder was the trickiest thing to overcome because it was a symptom of my anxiety, and most treat it as the root cause due to the visible physical aspects.

I had let Anorexia become my identity, and it took me six years to actually recover. I went through 6+ nutritionists, five therapists, three psychiatrists, and two years of treatment until I realized nothing would make me recover. I had to choose it; I had to be sick of the grip it had on me and use it as fuel to fight.

Once I started hating Anorexia, I finally started accepting myself more.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

1. Study your struggle

This was the #1 best tactic that helped me recover. Understanding what was going on in my head and body allowed me to gain objectivity in what I was going through. 

I realized when irrational food rules or body image distortions crept up; it was the disease talking, not my true self. Externalizing it made it easier to deal with and treat.

I remember studying anorexia, reading case studies, and stories. Every person’s case was different, but there were some key components that remained consistent. Seeing that made me feel normal in what I thought was my ‘abnormality’.

From my studies, I started discovering supportive things to implement in my day. For example, cold showers were a great method for me personally. When I would get urges to restrict or start overthinking, I would take a cold shower. It helped me intervene in these cycles and made me feel ten times better after I took them.

2. Be honest with yourself and others 

Opening up to my support system about how I was truly feeling unlocked numerous doors for me. Prior to this, I wasn’t receiving the necessary support because I hadn’t been communicating my struggles.

The more I shared, the less power the disorder had over me.

Even when I couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone, I still found ways to express my feelings.

I would write things down, have conversations with God, send a text to someone, or even have internal dialogues about what I was experiencing.

It felt like coaching myself away from disordered patterns. The rational and educated part of me was conversing with my emotional and disordered side, so to speak.

Speaking the truth sheds light on things. It helps you gain clarity, understanding, and connect the dots.

3. Have a replacement for your behaviors

Before I could let go, I needed something to fill the void left by my eating disorder and anxiety.

They had become part of my identity and occupied much of my time. Rediscovering my passions, immersing myself in hobbies, and pursuing goals helped me find a purpose that extended beyond my disorder.

During my initial attempt at recovery, I experienced a relapse because I lacked other anchors in my life. Without something else to hold onto, I slipped back into old habits. 

From a rational perspective, this response is understandable. I hadn’t set myself up for success.

4. Write down a list

Writing down a list of everything my Anorexia and anxiety had taken from me: relationships, experiences, memories, and dreams. 

Whenever I needed strength to fight, I would look back at the list I had written, and it was instant fuel to keep fighting.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

At first, I couldn’t speak to anyone about it. I would completely shut down when confronted. My mind raced, but I couldn’t express my feelings or explain why I acted in specific ways. I literally couldn’t utter a word.

As time passed, I discovered that journaling, meditation, and processing my emotions allowed me to gradually open up to my mom about my thoughts and feelings. The key was giving myself time; I needed to make sense of everything internally before I could articulate it externally.

I didn’t feel comfortable talking to my dad or brother about it because I felt judged, misunderstood, and shamed. I never told a single one of my friends. I didn’t want them to see me as pathetic or weird. However, as I began to recover, my reality started to change.

Because it wasn’t so fresh, the whole thing felt easier to talk about. I wasn’t that 12-year-old, confused little girl anymore; I started to connect the dots and make sense of things. 

Now, I find empowerment in sharing my story, whether through blogging or open conversations.

I want to become the person I wish I would have had at 12 years old. 

As I started opening up, I realized how many individuals were navigating similar challenges. By sharing, I gave others around me permission to do the same. It’s like signaling a green light, creating a safe space, and encouraging vulnerability in others.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Your worth does not originate from extrinsic sources. 

Altering your body’s size, your social circle, a specific relationship, or even a particular job won’t provide lasting happiness or increase your deservingness of love.

Avoid falling into the trap that chasing an external ideal will satisfy the current internal conflict.

From your unique fingerprint to your distinctive voice, singular perspective, personal story, and mission— You have SO MUCH to offer!

Know that your disorder doesn’t define you. Just because you have struggled doesn’t mean you have to struggle for the rest of your life. Do the work, be consistent, and be patient. 

Let yourself be free. It’s worth the fight!

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• The Science of Self-Learning: This book covers systems and processes for setting good goals, learning, and adequately teaching yourself new skills.
• Public Opinion: A helpful book for understanding the psychology of influence and how psychology is used to influence your actions and behaviors. 
• Period Repair Manual: This book breaks down everything you need to know to balance your hormones and restore your period after restrictive eating patterns.
• The Magic of Thinking Big: The best book I’ve read on perspective, mindset, goals, and positive thinking.
• Fitness Stuff For Normal People: A great podcast for debunking and supporting fitness topics, all backed by research and studies.
• Healthy Eating & Eating Disorders: This podcast episode by Dr. Andrew Huberman helped me gain a new perspective on eating disorders and the actual physiological mechanisms going on.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

To learn and hear more about me, you can visit my website.

I started my blog to create reliable and helpful content related to health, wellness, lifestyle, and being the person I needed when I was 12.
I would love to hear from you! Feel free to reach out via Email or Instagram DMs.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Behind the Curtains of Anorexia and Anxiety: My Journey Towards Better Mental Health appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hello! My name is Stephanie and I’m a California licensed marriage and family therapist. I own my private practice, Stephanie Gilbert and Associates, LLC, where I not only see clients but supervise other clinicians.

I have two Maltipoos, Moxie and Sunshine, and am currently training for my first half-marathon! In my free time, I enjoy traveling and spending time with friends and family.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My mental health symptoms started when I was 15 years old. My father died when I was 9, and I believe that loss contributed to my struggles later as a teen. It started with some disordered eating patterns that quickly turned into anorexia, and then anxiety that turned into OCD.

I grew up in a small town, and while my mother did take me for treatment, it was a challenge finding specialized care (as it is for so many across the country). I continued to struggle and at about 18 developed severe anxiety symptoms including panic attacks and OCD.

While I had tried therapy throughout this time and got better but then symptoms would return, it wasn’t really until my early 20s that I found a therapist and started to feel like a recovery for me was actually possible.

During the time I was struggling, I was able to complete college and maintain some sense of normality in my day-to-day life. But as anyone who’s struggled with mental health symptoms knows, my symptoms overshadowed almost every moment of my life that I remember during that time.

The times I missed out with friends because I was ‘in’ my eating disorder. The times I spent anxious and worried when I should have been carefree and having fun. From the outside I looked calm and collected, getting good grades, and involved in extracurriculars, but inside I felt like I was falling apart.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I felt incredibly alone, trapped in my head most of the time. My experience of having an eating disorder and OCD was awful. Most if not every moment was spent worried or obsessing over something. It was also such a strange experience to have people complimenting my looks because we do live in a society that celebrates thinness, while I was struggling so deeply with my eating disorder.

Some people closest to me knew I was struggling, but not everyone. I had a lot of guilt and shame around my OCD and eating disorder, and really felt if I was just better then I would figure out how to heal myself. I know now that’s not true, but at the time I blamed myself for being sick.

Having such severe mental health issues, I’m not sure I could say I was ever happy during this time of my life. And that’s heartbreaking to me, but I think it’s true for most who struggle with issues like mine. There were times I was laughing or enjoyed seeing friends or family or a vacation, but it was such surface-level happiness. I mastered looking happy while I was suffering, and that’s not true happiness.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Finding a therapist that I felt believed in my recovery completely shifted things for me. Which is why I became a therapist too. I felt like I wasn’t alone, that there was someone who understood and didn’t judge me for what I was going through. And she believed in me at times more than I believed in myself. 

I was lucky too that I had family that encouraged me to get help. I know that’s not always the case for a lot of people. I struggled for about 10 years before I found help that really was effective. I had been trying therapy but wasn’t getting much relief, and at some points in my journey just thought it would never work for me. 

I do remember a particular moment when I was struggling and had a realization that I just couldn’t function with the amount of symptoms I had – everything was too hard to manage on my own.

That was the moment I called and made an appointment with a new therapist because I had tried therapy prior but hadn’t ever had a therapist that specialized in what I was going through so it wasn’t successful, and that’s the therapist that was ultimately the most helpful in reducing my symptoms and helping me to be where I am today.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

For anyone struggling with OCD, eating disorders, or any other mental health condition, I encourage you to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you have family or friends you can confide in, that can be very helpful in the healing process too. Too many of us suffer in silence, hoping things will get better, only to have the isolation in our suffering making it worse. 

Also, it’s worth mentioning that not every therapist specializes in everything. I know for me it was key to find someone who specialized in what I was going through to actually see results.

If you go to someone with no experience in what you’re going through, at best it’s unhelpful, and at worst it’s harmful. I know this now as a mental health professional, but I didn’t know that when I was struggling, so I like to share that with others who don’t know the details about mental health professional training.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I have shared this in my personal life, and I’ve shared this as a mental health professional as well. My hope is that talking about what I’ve been through can further reduce the stigma about mental health issues and getting help.

There was a time when I didn’t share as much, and I think everyone needs to make the decision for themselves if they feel comfortable sharing and with who. But I do believe that stigma and shame can be reduced by speaking about what we’ve gone through, myself included.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Get help now. You’re worth getting help now. So many people question whether or not they deserve help, if they’re ‘sick enough’ (often with eating disorders), the shame prevents people from reaching out, or fear what people may think of them if they see a mental health professional. No one. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• The book Brain Lock helped me understand OCD when I was first diagnosed.
• I also like Judith Beck’s writings on CBT and anxiety.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

Sure! You can visit my website here, my Instagram is @stephaniegilbertmft, this is my personal LinkedIn while this is for my practice.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Recovered From Anorexia and OCD With a Specialized Therapist appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi there! My name is Sarah Rollins and I am a survivor. 

If you want the “resume” version of me, read below:

My name is Sarah Rollins and I am a clinical social worker and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. I own a group psychotherapy practice in Michigan, Embodied Wellness, PLLC that specializes in trauma, anxiety, and depression for adolescents and adults.

I was born and raised in metro Detroit, Michigan, and earned my undergraduate and graduate degrees from University of Michigan (Go Blue!). I am 33, single, and bought my first home about a year and a half ago. I have two cats, Bella and Ziggy, and love spending time with my nieces, traveling, and being with family and friends.

At this stage of my life, I experience happiness but would more accurately describe myself as content (most of the time). I see happiness as an emotion and all emotions are fleeting. Contentment is a state of being and therefore can stay steady despite how I feel.

My goal is to be content rather than to be happy. Am I content with every moment of every day? Absolutely not. I am grateful to say that I am content more often than not and more than I ever have been in my life. 

For a more authentic, inclusive version of myself, start here

Resilient. Cat mom. Auntie. Introverted. Outgoing. Loud. Loving. Sweet tooth. Animated. Driven. Couch potato. Yogi. Nap enthusiast. Sister. Daughter. White. Jewish. Homeowner. Business owner. Social worker. Messy. Organized. Friend. Niece. Survivor. Heterosexual. She/Her/Hers. Anxious. Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. 33. Traveler. Type A. Giving. Single. Vegetarian. Woman. Stubborn. Millennial. Self-conscious. Animal lover. All of these. None of these. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

For as long as I can remember, my inner world was chaotic. I always felt like my emotions were so big and my thoughts were turned up too loud. Around middle school, as a way to cope with both an external and internal world that felt so out of control, I unconsciously began to control what I could: what I ate and how my body looked.

My dad had been diagnosed with cancer and life felt very unpredictable, scary, and like a ticking time bomb. At first, my eating disorder looked very benign. I would eat a little bit less for lunch or not eat certain foods that I deemed “bad” once in a while. It wasn’t all the time and it didn’t consume me. 

In an effort to not body shame or make this about getting tricks about how to “body check,” I will spare certain details about my eating disorder. An aspect that propelled my disorder forward was body checking. There were specific parts of my body that I despised- or more accurately disgusted me.

I also learned “rules” (that at the time I thought were true) about what makes a woman beautiful. I became obsessed with certain parts of my body to ensure that they fit a very narrow standard of beauty. 

Looking back over 2 decades later, I remember seeing countless professionals but don’t know if anyone ever told me what my formal diagnosis was. Maybe they told my parents, maybe they weren’t sure, maybe they were confused or in denial? What I do remember is my parents being worried.

I don’t know if I ever said to my parents or anyone else “I have an eating disorder” until I sought out residential treatment when I was 18. But, I do know that after my initial stages of denial, I diagnosed myself with “anorexia”.

I was below what society deems as a normal body weight for my height and age and the fear of gaining weight plagued my every thought. My self-worth wasn’t just influenced by my body, it was the only factor contributing to it. I could not remember the last time I menstruated. My nails were brittle and consistently blue. My face was more than hollow, it was lifeless. I had become a shell of myself. 

When I entered treatment, I was formally diagnosed with Eating Disorder, not otherwise specified. I was appalled. I felt like a failure. I was one thing- anorexic- and I couldn’t even be good at that, I thought.

This diagnosis, at the time, was meant for people who didn’t meet the full criteria for anorexia nervosa or another eating disorder but still exhibited eating-disordered thoughts and behaviors. If I wasn’t thin enough…would I ever be good enough for anything?

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I wish there were a combination of words that I could put together to convey the impact my eating disorder had on me. From about 10th grade through my freshman year of college, the majority of my thoughts were consumed by food, body image, or weight. I couldn’t go to a movie without thinking about the amount of calories I had eaten throughout the day and if I had any left to spare.

Every time I walked by a mirror I would simultaneously divert my eyes with disgust and feel the urge to “body check.” I would wake up in the middle of the night with my stomach growling counting down the hours until I would allow myself to eat again. A coping skill that was supposed to quiet my mind soon prevented me from feeling any joy, connection, or love. 

I wish I could say that I hid my eating disorder well, but that would be a lie. At the time I thought I did and tried all the tricks of the trade to keep things a secret. My parents would buy me protein drinks and I’d pour them down the drain when they weren’t looking. I pretended I was allergic to oil so I didn’t have to explain why I didn’t want to eat it.

I thought that people didn’t notice the weird things I did with food or how thin I got but that was just a way that my eating disorder kept me under its spell. Besides my parents, no one directly approached me with their concerns.

In high school, there were some students who anonymously went to the guidance counselor about my weight. Naturally, my 15-year-old self was defensive and angry, “how dare they not bring this to me and go behind my back?” Now I have endless compassion for whoever those students were. How brave they were to stand up for me. How lucky I was that people cared. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

There were multiple moments throughout my adolescence when I told myself I wasn’t going to “do that” anymore. “That” sometimes meant body checking, or not restricting dessert, or going to bed hungry. The list goes on.

I would be successful for a few hours, days, or even weeks but it wouldn’t last. True and lasting change only came when I realized that I was no longer in control of my eating disorder, rather it was in control of me. 

When I started my freshman year of college, I told myself I didn’t need a therapist anymore and that I could “do it all myself.” Doing it all myself resulted in me almost passing out at the first football game due to fatigue, nearly scaring my parents to death when I participated in the 24-hour dance marathon, and feeling empty, alone, and lost.

People around me were having fun, making friends, and actually living while I was obsessing about food and too tired to leave my bed. Even worse (in my mind), my hunger cues come back and I started to feel so hungry that I worried I would not be able to control myself and gain the dreaded “freshman 15” 

The summer after my freshman year, after approximately 6 years of struggling, I was privileged to go to a residential treatment center for 7 weeks.

During treatment, I learned how to stop engaging in disordered eating and most importantly, cope with my inner world and underlying mental health disorder. Even though my healing journey did not end in treatment, I wholeheartedly believe that without it I would not be where I am today, 15 years in recovery.

I believe having the familial resources to find the treatment center, finances to participate and the ability to leave for 7 weeks was the result of my circumstances and for that, I am so grateful. I also had to be the one to choose life and every single day make the decision to do something different. No one else could do that for me.  

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

The first step was admitting to myself what I was really doing. I am a pretty good b*llshitter and can convince myself of things that are not true.

• “I shouldn’t eat after this time because it’s not good for me.”
• “It’s okay to eat a little bit less.”
• “Vegetables make up a healthy and well-rounded meal.”

The list goes on and on. At the end of the day, these were all ways for me to justify my eating-disordered behavior. 

One of the things I heard a lot while I was struggling was “You can’t trust yourself” and I thought this was true. What I thought was a healthy amount of calories was equivalent to a serving size of carrots. A major milestone in my recovery was learning to differentiate between what was my intuition/wise mind/Self versus what was my eating disorder.

In the past, I labeled my eating disorder voice, “ED” to help me know which voices belonged to who. I wrote a list of common thoughts I had and if they belong to “Self” or “ED.”

For example, a common thought I would have was “When I see myself in the mirror I need to body check to make sure I haven’t gained weight.” This is an “ED” thought not a “Self” thought and I know that because I don’t “need” to do anything when I see myself in the mirror and I wouldn’t tell a friend to do that. 

Prior to residential treatment, I would weigh myself in the morning, after school, and before bed; before I went to the bathroom, after I went to the bathroom; before I drank water, while drinking water, and after drinking water. Pretty much all the time.

The problem was, the number was never good enough. No matter how low it was, I was never satisfied and if the number went up, I felt like a failure. It was a lose-lose.

In treatment, our nutritionist would blind-weigh us to ensure that we were properly being nourished. For a while after treatment, I would continue blind weigh-ins with my doctor so I was accountable but I never saw that number.

I have not seen my weight in over 15 years. I don’t even own a scale! When I go to the doctor’s for a check-up, I turn around on the scale and ask them to not tell me my weight. How I feel in my body, how my clothes fit, my behaviors around food, and my thinking are more accurate indicators of my health than any number could ever be.

In my experience, I don’t think I could’ve recovered without residential treatment. Residential treatment is long-term (minimum 28 days) where you stay overnight at a facility and spend the day in individual and group therapy. In treatment, I was able to get out of my environment, focus solely on getting better, and not have to worry about school, friends, family, or work.

Did I still worry about these things? Of course! But the longer I was there, the easier it was to truly put my needs first. The people who I was in treatment with became my family. For the first time, I felt understood and not so alone. I was allowed to be my authentic self without judgment, criticism, or shame. We had each other’s backs. We laughed, cried, and learned to be vulnerable together. 

Residential treatment introduced me to twelve-step programs for eating disorders such as Eating Disorders Anonymous, Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous, and Overeaters Anonymous. When I first heard about these programs, I thought, “Oh, h*ll no am I going to believe in God.” God gave my dad cancer and has caused all of these problems.

The admissions coordinator of the program told me I didn’t have to believe in God, I just had to have the desire to stop engaging in eating-disordered behavior. So with trepidation, I said “Fine” and trusted him.

Although I currently do not participate in any twelve-step program, I believe it is a foundation for my recovery. I spent three years attending meetings, working with a sponsor, sponsoring others, and doing the steps. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

When I was struggling with my eating disorder, I did not talk to anyone about it. At first, it was because I hadn’t admitted to myself I had an eating disorder, and then later because I was too ashamed to talk about it. I worried that no one else would understand. I feared that people would just judge me rather than listen or say “Just go eat a big steak” (and yes people would say that to me).

Once I got into recovery, I opened up to my close friends about it and went to twelve-step recovery meetings. Meetings were a space where I felt heard by others who had the same experience. It was game-changing to be able to call someone else in recovery any day, anytime if I felt triggered and not feel like a bother. 

As someone who identifies as a “talker,” I pretty much share most things about myself with others. I like talking so much I even talk in my sleep. Talking is one of the main ways I connect. For the most part, I don’t find it hard to share my struggles with someone else.

I also know that it feels very different to share something when I feel I’m in solid recovery versus when I’m actively in a battle with it. With 15 years of recovery, I don’t feel the shame that I once felt about myself and my actions which prevented me from opening up. 

Despite being in recovery for over a decade and feeling proud of myself for what I’ve overcome, there is still a small part of me that is scared for this article to be published. Will people judge me? Will people think differently of me? Will I be less credible as a therapist? What will family and friends say?

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

What I wish I realized earlier was that my body was never the enemy. I always thought that my body was against me. I was always fighting it- to be thinner, prettier, better. My body felt like the problem. In reality, my body was trying to protect me.

This may seem very counterintuitive, especially because anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. By restricting my food intake my body was protecting me from feeling. The less I ate, the less I felt. What I was feeling at the time felt too painful to endure so my body came up with a coping strategy to help me when I didn’t know what else to do.

Just because my body was trying to protect me doesn’t mean that it was okay or healthy for me to continue with my eating disorder. The reason this is important and I wish I would’ve understood this sooner was that I was fighting the wrong “battle.” The “battle” was never against my body.

My body was actually on my side but just went to extreme lengths to get its point across. My body was trying to help me cope with an underlying mental illness that was undiagnosed, untreated, and dramatically impacting my life.

Research shows that up to 97% of individuals with anorexia also have a mental health disorder. Only once my eating disorder was treated could I even begin to address the anxiety and depression fueling it. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Life Without Ed: This book helped me differentiate between my eating disorder voice and my own voice
• Milestones in Recovery: This is the residential treatment facility that I attended for 7 weeks
• Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous: This is a resource to find Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous meetings near you or order the book.
• Eating Disorders Anonymous: This is a resource to find Eating Disorder Anonymous meetings near you or order the book.
• Overeaters Anonymous: This is a resource to find Overeaters Anonymous meetings near you or order the book.

Utilizing resources does not mean you are weak, rather it proves how strong and resilient you are. You don’t have to recover in isolation. I hope you can benefit from these resources or a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me by visiting my website, or on Instagram, LinkedIn or Facebook.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Residential Treatment Started My Healing Journey From Eating Disorders & Negative Body Image appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi there! My name is Cherie Miller, and I’m a licensed therapist in the Dallas-Fort Worth area in Texas, though I lived in Denver, Colorado for 10 years post-college.

But after starting a family, my husband and I moved back to Texas to be closer to my family, and now we live five minutes from the house I grew up in! We have two feisty children, an eight-year-old boy and a four-(going on 13)-year old girl, plus a rambunctious dog and kitten.

Helping people make peace with food and their bodies by being a therapist is actually my second career. I decided I wanted to do that after I went through and recovered from an eating disorder myself.

Originally though, I majored in English in college and ended up working in corporate marketing for about a decade. I already knew then that I wanted to get my Master’s degree and do counseling, but the person I was married to at the time wasn’t supportive of that.

Once I separated from him many years later, I enrolled in a graduate program for professional counseling and my second chapter began! 

Now I’m not only a therapist, but I get to use my business experience as well by running my own group practice. I have several amazing therapists and dietitians who work for me, and I absolutely love the work I get to do now. Of course, there are days I wonder what in the world I got myself into, but I still wouldn’t trade it for any other career.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

In high school, I really started to struggle with my self-esteem and body image. I felt like the sidekick friend who wasn’t as thin and pretty as the other girls, and while all my friends were starting to date, no one was asking me out. I only had a date to prom because one of my guy friend’s girlfriend broke up with him a couple of weeks before, so we went as buddies.

I was very self-conscious about my body, especially my stomach, and would spend hours in front of my mirror, crying and pinching at my fat from every angle.

One night, before going out with my friends, I wrapped my stomach with athletic tape so tight I could hardly breathe in an attempt to make my stomach as flat as my friends. (It didn’t work and my friends made fun of me about it for a long time after.)

It wasn’t until I went to college and gained weight my freshman year, that I decided to go on my first serious diet. I also started running, thinking that I was being healthy by exercising more.

Unfortunately, it quickly spiraled out of control and it began to consume me. Within just a few months, I was struggling with a clinical eating disorder and compulsive exercise. 

Not seeing the reality of what was happening, people complimented me on the weight loss and my new body, which was so harmful. Eating disorders are very manipulative and mine used every compliment against me by pointing out how terrible I obviously looked before and how much better people liked me when I was thinner.

Now I caution others to be careful about complimenting people’s weight loss because you never know what could be behind it. It could be depression, grief, an eating disorder, cancer, or any number of physical and mental health issues.

And it’s always a backhanded compliment, whether you mean it that way or not. Saying “Wow, you look great since you lost weight!” indirectly implies they did not look great at their previous weight.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Having an eating disorder is so much more than just wanting to be thin. Yes, I was obsessed with wanting to lose weight, but there were many, many other things underneath that. I desperately wanted to feel good about myself and loved by others.

At times, my eating disorder gave me that sense of identity, accomplishment, and approval I wanted. As I mentioned earlier, I got a lot of positive attention when I lost weight.

Even the restrictive way I ate, though it might have seemed extreme at times to people, was something they admired. It just looked like self-control or discipline to them, things that people often feel they lack.

Our culture has normalized so many disordered eating habits that it can be hard to recognize an eating disorder. And unfortunately, the system of women’s value being tied to their proximity to the beauty ideal (which is a young, thin, white ideal) is still very much alive. Yet despite the things that my eating disorder offered me, there was definitely a dark side.

For one, those things were fleeting. I only felt them for brief moments while the rest of the time, I was still racked with insecurity and self-loathing. I was even more fixated on how I hated my body than before, and then I also became obsessed with food. I thought about food constantly and even dreamed about it.

My whole life revolved around trying to eat as little as possible, only eating “healthy” food, and then ultimately ending up bingeing and purging, only to start the cycle over again. It was exhausting and left little time and energy for other aspects of my life. In my worst moments, I believed I would never recover and that I would spend my whole life trapped in that cycle.

Even once my eating disorder started to get better, I was absolutely certain that I would have to deal with my body hatred forever. I couldn’t imagine looking down at myself in the shower and feeling anything but disgust.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

When I was in college studying abroad in Oxford, England for a semester, I came to realize that I had an eating disorder. I was running out of money because of all the food I was buying and was even starting to steal food from other people in the house.

Between that and all the purging I was doing, I felt a lot of shame. I also was feeling exhausted. It takes a lot of energy to maintain an eating disorder, especially combined with the compulsive running I was doing. By then, I was running so much not just to burn calories, but also to punish myself. I would even sneak out to go running downtown by myself at midnight or 1 am sometimes even though it wasn’t safe. 

I actually confessed to a roommate one day that I thought I had an eating disorder, which didn’t go well because she basically said I was lying and just looking for attention. Later, that roommate caught me after purging one day and said she believed me after all and that I needed help. From there, I started recovery, which was a painful process.

It’s a long story, but the gist of is that I managed to white-knuckle through stopping the eating disorder behaviors and running, but I didn’t do the deeper healing so I still suffered emotionally for years. I continued to struggle with depression, disliking myself and my body, and dieting. (Today, I call this stage quasi-recovery because I see that I wasn’t fully recovered.)

Eventually, after I left my first husband who was abusive, I relapsed. Hard. I lost even more weight and got even deeper into compulsive running. 

Thankfully, I was ready to do the deeper work and also be more open with my support system. I got into therapy and leaned heavily on my friends and family when I needed it instead of trying to recover alone like I had the first time. I also met my now husband towards the end of my recovery journey (the real one this time!) and his unconditional love was very healing for me.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

In addition to therapy and leaning into my support system, I also immersed myself in content related to body positivity and practicing a food freedom philosophy called intuitive eating. I read so many books and listened to countless podcasts during that time, which made a huge difference.

Unlearning things I had been taught to believe about food and bodies took quite a bit of time and work, but the key for me was to replace all that with more positive beliefs by learning a ton of new information. If you’re open-minded, information can be powerful in shifting perspectives! 

For example, I learned about Health at Every Size (HAES), which promotes pursuing health from a weight-neutral place. Honestly, I started out thinking HAES was ridiculous because “everyone knows that being fat is bad for you,”, but was open to learning about it. I ended up being shocked to see how misinformed we are about weight and health!

I also started seeing what social justice issues weight bias and stigma are. Our cultural obsession with thinness is not just an individual issue but is also a societal problem that affects millions of people. This kindled a passion outside my own experience to not just learn body acceptance for myself, but to do something to make society more accepting and inclusive of body diversity.

Learning and practicing intuitive eating was also key in truly recovering from my eating disorder. I started rejecting the diet mentality and the black-and-white thinking about food that’s so common now. I now realize that foods don’t belong in the “good” and “bad” categories and that all foods can fit into a healthful way of eating.

I stopped listening to messages that create fear and anxiety about certain foods, and strive to listen to my body’s cues about eating. I never thought I would say this, but with time and practice, I’ve learned to trust my body and it’s learned to trust me! Most of the time, I let my body guide me in what, when, and how much I need to eat.

Lastly, learning and practicing things to challenge my perfectionism and inner critic voice has made a significant difference in my mental health. Like I’m honored to be able to teach clients now, I’ve learned to recognize and challenge the unhelpful thoughts that used to create a lot of problems for me. I’m still working on learning to treat myself as kindly as I treat the people I care about!

When it comes to recovering from an eating disorder, yes, I’ve gained weight. Truthfully, more weight than I ever thought I could accept. I’m also happier and healthier than I was when I was thinner. So maybe I gained weight… but I also gained my best life, and it was absolutely worth it. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I’ve been very open about my struggles because I want others to know that they’re not alone–and that there is hope for recovery from an eating disorder even though it might feel impossible!

I also think it’s important to reduce the stigma around eating disorders and mental health issues in general, and talking about these things is important for that.

At the end of the day, we all have “stuff,” and I don’t understand the point of pretending otherwise. I’ve learned compassion for myself and others in this journey, and that is an antidote to shame.

I don’t generally find it difficult to open up to others because authenticity is a big value of mine. I also believe that authenticity and vulnerability are key to thriving relationships. I don’t do the small talk stuff very well, I really want to connect with people on the important things. 

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

One thing I wish I had known was how important it is to not only learn a lot of new information and skills but that you have to actually practice them consistently for there to be change. I love to learn, which is wonderful! But knowledge alone doesn’t usually lead to healing.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating by Christy Harrison: Helped me learn about diet culture, how it is harmful, to question the paradigm of being fat is bad. (also her podcast, Food Psych):
• Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch: Helped me learn how to give up restrictive eating and practice a gentler, more personal approach to eating.
• Body Respect: What Conventional Health Books Get Wrong, Leave Out, and Just Plain Fail to Understand about Weight by Linda Bacon and Lucy Aphramor.
• Health At Every Size by Linda Bacon: Helped me see that so much of what we’re led to believe about weight is wrong or at least, not rock-solid science. 
• Intuitive Bites podcast by Kirsten Ackerman: Helped me with so many things related to eating disorder recovery!
• More than a Body: Your Body is an Instrument, Not an Ornament by Lexie Kite and Lindsay Kite: Helped me recognize and challenge culture’s messages about women’s bodies primarily being for the pleasure and consumption of others. 
• Body Image Remix: Embrace Your Body and Unleash the Fierce, Confident Woman Within by Summer Innanen: Helped me build an identity outside my appearance. (also, her podcast, Eat The Rules)

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can learn more about me here or follow me on Instagram and Facebook.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Recovered From Negative Body Image and Binge Eating With Therapy and Social Support appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Alana Van Der Sluys and I’m a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, TEDx speaker, eating disorder survivor, and the founder of Freedom with Food and Fitness. 

I am dedicated to empowering women to heal their relationship with food and their bodies to step into their potential, take up space, and pursue true health! 

I currently host the Finally Free Podcast, and my debut book– Freedom with Food and Fitness: How Intuitive Eating is the Key to Becoming Your Happiest, Healthiest Self–will be released with Urano World USA on November 7, 2023.

I am a contributing writer for several national publications, including the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC) and Best Holistic Life Magazine. I was also, most recently, a panelist and speaker for the Speak Up Women’s Conference in April 2023. 

Aside from this business, which is my life’s passion, I’m also a high school English and journalism teacher in New Jersey, living at home with my son, Archer; my husband, Scott; and our fur baby feline, Captain Oats. I’m a lover of reading, writing, taking long walks with a podcast in my ear, and Stranger Things!

For the first time in a long time, I feel fulfilled in my life because of my journey to eating disorder recovery, I’ve realized that happiness is not a destination, a goal weight, or an accolade; it’s a chosen present state of mind. Whatever is happening around me, I chose to see the good, or at the very least, choose to see a lesson I can take out of the “bad.”

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My struggle was undiagnosed eating disorders: binge eating disorder (restricting food with subsequent periods of overeating), body dysmorphic disorder (fixating on a minor or perceived body flaw), and orthorexia (an obsession with “clean eating”), specifically.  

These struggles were private, and shameful and went under the radar of my loved ones for seven years. It took just about as long to recover, thanks to a philosophy I now teach other women about, intuitive eating. 

My struggles with eating disorders, I came to find, had actually nothing to do with my actual body size or shape or my relationship with food. It had to do with my socialized belief that thinness was more attractive and that I needed to be attractive in order to be worthy.

I had an unhealthy reliance on the validations of others for my worthiness, something I learned in childhood. I was also a perfectionist as a way to protect myself from criticism, and again, in my mind, being thin meant your life was closer to perfect. 

My eating disorders started “innocent” enough as “watching what I ate” and counting calories. Over time, though, it developed into obsessively counting calories, anxiety around social gatherings that included food, body checking for hours a day, my hair falling out, and my cholesterol skyrocketing, among other things. All I could think about was food and what the number on the scale would be the next day.

This struggle ended up taking over all parts of my life, not just my eating and exercise habits. I wasn’t present with loved ones, I couldn’t concentrate in school and I couldn’t enjoy sex. It was every part of my life that suffered. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I couldn’t allow myself to be happy. Even at my lowest weight (which is considered “underweight”), I hated who I saw in the mirror. It was never enough and it would never be enough because my actual body wasn’t the problem. I would never feel worthy until I gave that feeling of worthiness to myself. I always felt I was never enough. I was always anxious and nervous about food. 

People would either tell me I looked too skinny, which would always fuel my disorder, or they would compliment my thinness and ask me for advice, which again, only fueled and validated my disorder. I tried to hide it under the guise of “health and fitness” and a “wellness lifestyle” but it had become an unhealthy obsession: body, mind, and spirit.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

One light bulb moment for me was reading a blog post by a blogger who I looked up to that was all about her diagnosis of hypothalamic amenorrhea.

To me, she had the perfect life, husband, body, etc. And now she was telling the world she was an unhealthy weight and lost her menstrual cycle, finding it hard to conceive. I wanted a family one day and the post scared me; it made me realize I could be doing major harm to my body. 

I started listening to podcasts and reading books about intuitive eating. I dove into the work I needed to do to heal myself. I had to come to terms with my body was going to look however it was meant to, unless I wanted to fight against it for the rest of my life, all for some superficial ideal. 

The changes I made were almost exclusively the result of my actions. We can’t control our circumstances but we can always control how we respond to them. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

The first thing I would do is learn about intuitive eating. Learn everything you can through podcasts, social media, books, etc. But I would also recommend doing something I didn’t: get professional support in the form of an intuitive eating coach; bonus points for finding one who has also suffered through similar issues with food and their bodies. 

For seven years, I denied myself professional support because I thought I couldn’t afford it, that I could do it on my own, and that it was shameful to need help. All these thoughts were thought errors coming from a scarcity mindset.

Your health–true health, not diet culture health–is the most important thing and to not make it a top priority is a mistake, one I personally made. You can afford what you make a priority. You don’t need to be ashamed of needing help. We all need help in one way or another.

Connect with people who have walked the journey before and make friends with like-minded individuals who have the same struggles and goals as you. Don’t do it alone. 

Another very tangible piece of advice is learning that your thoughts create your emotions which drive your actions. I’ve created a playoff this cognitive behavioral therapy model called Chill the F*ck Out (Circumstance, Thought, Feeling, Outcome).

You can also use it backwards as a goal-setting activity. If you know what you want the outcome to be, what feelings do you need to generate in order to inspire you to create that outcome, and what thoughts would you need to feel in order to generate those emotions? 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

It took me a while to be brave enough to start my business because I would essentially have to tell the entire world I had an eating disorder, but I got over it because people need to hear this message.

People need to feel not alone and not crazy for thinking and behaving the way they do around food. It’s not their fault and they’re not broken. They just need strategy and support. 

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I said this before but get expert support. You can afford it, but you have to make it a priority. You will not fail. Failure doesn’t exist unless you give up completely.

Be vulnerable enough to say you have a problem and surround yourself with people who “get it.”  Don’t put it off thinking it’s going to get better on its own.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• The Intuitive Eating Workbook.
• Brooke Castillo’s “The Life Coach School” podcast.
• Jessi Jean’s “Dear Body Podcast”.
• The Body Love Society’s “How to Love Your Body” podcast.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can learn more about me, grab some free resources, or learn how to work with me as your intuitive eating and body image coach here: 

• www.freedomwithfoodandfitness.com
• www.instagram.com/freedomwithfoodandfitness
• https://www.freedomwithfoodandfitness.com/ebook (free ebook: “3 EASY Ways to Boost Health With Intuitive Eating”.
• Finally Free Podcast.
• TEDx Talk: “Why Wellness Culture is Elitist”.
• You can pre-order my upcoming book here.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Story of Overcoming Binge Eating and Negative Body Image to Achieve True Health appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Jonathan. I currently live in Israel. I am unemployed, but constantly look for a job that I might be able to maintain despite my difficulties.

I have a dog and a cat. Both weren’t really mine initially, but I have a tendency to take in animals.

I’m very passionate about creativity – as a consumer of music, films, books, visual art, and also as a creator. For most of my life, I didn’t allow myself the title of ‘creator’ as I deemed myself not good enough, but I try to shift that stiff perspective.

I wouldn’t consider myself happy, but I do have moments of happiness, and I try to allow myself to immerse as much as I can in them, instead of rejecting the feeling when it comes.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Clinical depression, anxiety, CPTSD, and Binge Eating Disorder. I coped by self-medicating with alcohol and pills, and so for a few years, the problem was alcoholism. When I got sober, I became obsessed with food.

Food was always an underlying issue, though. I only found my fondness for alcohol when I was looking for alternatives to eating in my teenage years. 

The obsession over death and dying was always there. The need to disappear, to be forgotten, was always present. Food was a way to have some sense of control inside that chaos, and over the years that struggle presented itself as anorexia, binge eating, purging with exercise, self-harm, and then alcohol and pills (mostly Xanax).

It has been a daily struggle for me and for any person who was around me, who is around me. I was sucking the air out of every room I walked into, and treated others unfairly out of being so blindly obsessed with my own issues.

I lied, cheated, stole, and lied again. To others, to myself. Even people who were taking care of me – therapists, carers at rehabs, other addicts. Lies upon lies, to escape the shame.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I would fantasize about dying and vanishing off the face of the earth. The only problem I could think of was that the memory of my existence would remain after my death – and I couldn’t handle that. 

Happiness wasn’t even in my vocabulary other than a cruel word to describe the opposite of the sheer misery I felt. The misery I still feel, most days.

It was apparent to everyone that I came across. I hated their concern. The pity. Which just drove me further into shame and more using and more shame and so on. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I was drunk on the bathroom floor in a motel in Venice. It was a few weeks after a breakup, I sobered up in those few weeks as I tried to make believe that I can change and that I’m in control.

My mother saw what state I was in, and booked a flight for us to Venice. Just to get me out of that house, for some miracle to happen. 

The second night there, I relapsed and I couldn’t handle it – laying there in a foreign country, wasted and hungry, with my poor mother in the next room who paid the money she didn’t have just to try and make me feel better.

To prevent me from going through with that fantasy of dying in my room. Something broke and I asked for help, for the first time I ASKED instead of being forced into receiving help.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I’m still very far from overcoming anything, but I have almost a year of sobriety, and I feel proud of that.

I went to rehab, I failed  – and went again. I tried going to groups afterward, wasn’t my thing, so I reached out to specific people that I felt like I could trust, or at least trust enough to be able to share with them and listen when they had something to say. 

I had to stop working out and try to manage my eating for a while. I felt shittier, I looked worse – but I feel like from that came an ability I didn’t have before, which is the ability to have some wiggle room. 

Being sober or being ‘okay’ isn’t about becoming perfect. 

A lot of people expect to look better or earn more or fall in love and so on. Sure, it can happen – but those are not pillars to build yourself on, because they can fade.

You need to do an inventory with yourself or a therapist, look into who you are that brings you such shame or guilt, and start confronting that.

For me, I have to keep reminding myself that things aren’t as big as they seem in the moment. If something goes wrong, my tendency is to balloon it up to enormous proportions and then I get so anxious that I HAVE to use it. 

I think I got lucky in a twisted sense, on that bathroom floor in Venice. I’ve been drunk on floors more times than I can remember  – but that time I felt so crushingly alone that I HAD to try something else.

So it’s 50% luck, 40% determination to not go through withdrawals ever again, and 10% a realization that I never wanted drugs or alcohol or even to look good or eat yummy things. I just wanted to feel at peace.

Now I know where the peace isn’t, so I keep looking, finding glimpses, and then it’s gone again. You have to keep looking, knowing you’ll probably never find it for more than a few moments, and that it’s enough.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

A bit, some parts.

Honestly, I don’t feel able to share everything with anyone, as I’m still carrying shame around it. I did share some things in rehab, with a close friend, with my current girlfriend. 

I’ve found that it’s easier for me to open up about my alcoholism and pill abuse and not about my eating disorder. Maybe because there’s a weird romanticization of being an alcoholic, whereas food problems lack the glamor. I need to work on that.

I do not feel comfortable sharing with most of my family or people who were my friends, some of them are very religious and some would just not understand and would see it as if I’m saying they are flawed for not being able to understand, which is obviously not my intention when I share.

It’s hard if I try to do it for myself, but for some strange reason, it comes much more easily if I feel it would be for someone else’s benefit. 

It’s a cliff I’ve been living on my whole life, so if I see someone else standing there I feel compelled to share, even if my experiences are embarrassing or painful to me in a bad light (which is fair. I’ve been an arse for a long time).

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Nothing remains the same. It might look the same or feel the same – but it’s not. We are constantly shifting, inside and out, taking from and giving back to the feedback loop around us.

If you can do something that you deem helpful even just once – it’s a step that already changed you a bit. Every sip you didn’t take counts, every hobby you’ve tried gave you something.

When you fall, embrace it and try to move forward again, as impossible or pointless as it seems. I know I’d hate reading these words, but I had to write them. I hope someday you’ll be able to read them and understand why.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

I read and listened to whatever I could find, from Gabor Mate to I’m Glad My Mom Died.

But honestly, it’s not about anything that anyone else can say or how much you understand about the mechanisms that move you, It’s about sitting with yourself and trying to be.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

No social media for me.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Journey From Alcoholism to 1 Year Into Sobriety and Better Mental Health appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hello! My name is Julie Crawford and I live most of the year in Ohio with my husband, Kevin, and our 6-year-old daughter. We part-time slow travel and world school our daughter, typically for months at a time, but Ohio is our home base. 

While I recently started a travel blog called Traveling Crawfords, my husband trades stock options. We can travel so regularly and for such long periods of time because we work online. We have been living this way for the past year and intend to keep doing so.

Along with traveling, I like to sew, organize pretty much everything, and attempt to grow vegetables. I try to have a garden every year, but I still lack a green thumb. In fact, I don’t have a thumb. Figuratively speaking.

I have spent most of my life being happy but of course, that doesn’t imply that I’ve always been content or haven’t faced struggles.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Since I was young, I have struggled with various types of anxiety. It began as a worry about getting sick. Physically sick, like vomiting. My heart would race whenever I sensed even the smallest indication of something not feeling “quite right,” and I would get terrified that I was about to start feeling ill and begin vomiting.

Over time, I began to develop food anxiety. I never wanted to eat anything outside my normal comfort zone because I was afraid that any new food could make me sick.

If we didn’t eat at an American restaurant, dining out could be challenging. I would only order chicken fingers or grilled cheese sandwiches with fries. Those were my go-to meals since I was confident they wouldn’t “upset my stomach”. I never wanted to eat at a place that didn’t provide one of those two dishes.

The idea of being out with people, even my family whom I’ve been close with, and suddenly feeling sick and/or the sudden urge to need the bathroom, was terrifying.

Over the years, I’ve opened up more about my anxiety and the problems it causes. I’ll explain to people that when I get anxious, I can’t eat, sometimes even for days.

I can’t count how many times I have heard, “Oh man, I wish I could go for days without eating. It would help me lose weight!” Do you know that whole “the grass is always greener” thing? That applies here. It’s no fun being hungry. It’s no fun being anxious. Put the two together, and it’s a damn rough time.

I can remember several times feeling extreme pangs of hunger despite having the ability to get anything I wanted to eat or even literally being surrounded by food, but I physically couldn’t eat. My body simply wouldn’t allow it.

As I got older, I developed flying anxiety. I had never really liked flying, but I also had never been afraid of it. But in 2012, when I began a new job, I had to fly a few times for work. Within one to two flights, fear of turbulence and the general lack of control quickly formed into flying anxiety.

Leading up to trips that required flying, I began worrying about the anxiety I anticipated experiencing. To put it simply, I began causing anxiety for fear of having anxiety. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

When anxiety strikes, my heart pounds, I feel hot and sweaty, my hands feel heavy like lead, and my stomach immediately clenches into a ball. The mere thought of food is revolting, but that doesn’t mean that my body doesn’t feel hungry.

In fact, I’d swear that my body’s hunger response increases once anxiety kicks in. But eating? Good luck. There is no way the anxiety is going to make eating easy or even possible. Yet, my body aches for nourishment and the pain of hunger to go away.

My worst moment was when my husband found me sobbing on the closet floor after I had just come home from work. My boss wanted me to work on something I had no idea how to do or any interest in doing. I already felt stupid and trying to work with a coworker on this project was only going to make me feel worse about myself.

Not only that, but I was also having major anxiety about our upcoming honeymoon. Yep, our honeymoon. That trip you take after you are married is supposed to be nothing but wonderful and magical, right? The trip we had planned to take a few months after our wedding sounded amazing and super worrying.

When I was anxious about our honeymoon, it was very clear to Kevin that I was having a hard time, but I was also very open about how I was feeling. I don’t think I’m able to hide my anxiety because it completely consumes me, and I become a different person. The “shell” of a person.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

It took me years to finally seek professional help. After every anxiety attack was over and I was my “normal” self again, I would convince myself that I could overcome it on my own. I just needed to be stronger the next time. Whatever that meant.

But after I spent a night nauseous and hyperventilating on the bathroom floor because the anxiety wouldn’t let me lay in my bed, I conceded that I couldn’t do it on my own. I didn’t want to feel like that anymore. I needed help. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

There hasn’t been one single thing that has helped. It’s been a combination of things.

1. I talked with my doctor about medication

It took a bit of trial and error as I tried three different medications before I found the one that worked well for me. The medication helped me to feel better so that I could focus on dealing with and overcoming the anxiety.

2. I went to therapy

I had several different therapists at different times in my life. One of the first therapists I saw said something that was the beginning of tackling my anxiety.

He and I talked about when the anxiety initially begins, I try to “put up a wall” to keep the anxiety from happening. My mind and body would start to put up defenses to ward the anxiety off before it became out of control. Unfortunately, this defense usually forced my body into anxiety.

The therapist suggested that instead of “putting up the wall”, I should be curious about what was happening and the symptoms, and where they may lead. It may sound something like this in my head.

“Hmm, I’m starting to feel anxious.”

“Why am I feeling anxious?”

“Oh, I think it’s because this bus is getting crowded, and I’m concerned that it’s going to get really crowded and then I’m going to have an anxiety attack and not be able to get off the bus.”

“Ah, yes. I can see that. Okay, what symptoms are happening right now?”

“My heart is pounding, I’m starting to feel a little hot, my breathing has increased.”

“I wonder what else might come up.”

“Okay, just let the feelings go where they are going. Don’t try to fight them, just let them happen.”

Oddly enough, the reaction would calm me down and the anxiety would decrease! Instead of fighting the anxiety and its symptoms, I was curious about them and in return, I stayed calm. It was amazing and life-changing! By practicing this simple act, I was able to keep myself from getting anxiety because I was afraid of getting anxiety. I still use this technique to this day.

Years later, I found a therapist that I genuinely connected with. She was like talking with a friend and I just wanted to see her to catch up. That’s when you know you have a great connection with your therapist.

Something she said that stuck with me and has been helpful was, “It’s possible I will be okay.” I used this thought several times leading up to anxiety-provoking situations, like an upcoming flight. Instead of getting my stomach in a knot weeks before a flight with the idea that I was going to be getting more and more anxious as the flight drew closer, I reminded myself, “It’s possible I will be okay.”

It was possible that I wouldn’t experience anxiety before or during the flight. It was possible that I could do it without having those feelings. Just because it had happened so many times before, didn’t mean that I had to automatically go through it again. It was possible I would be okay. So simple, and yet so effective.

3. I forced myself to do the things that caused anxiety

As I grew older and started experimenting with various foods, even the smallest amount, I discovered that they weren’t always awful or even likely to make me sick. I gradually began expanding out more and more; eating Chinese food and learning how great sesame chicken is! I tried Mexican food and discovered that rice, beans, and chips are always a good combination!

More importantly, I started to understand that just because a dish was unfamiliar to me, it didn’t necessarily imply it was more likely to make me ill.

Today, I am much more likely to try and even order unfamiliar foods. I’ve gradually reduced my anxiety of eating and becoming sick, and now I feel comfortable ordering things that I don’t know. Although I don’t always feel that confident, I am extremely appreciative of how far I have come.

Despite the anxiety, I have kept flying and over time, my anxiety has calmed down. At this point, I’m able to face an upcoming flight with mere nervous energy and sometimes, even excitement! Look at me now, I’m a travel blogger!!

It’s not unusual for me to still experience anxiety symptoms from time to time, but I have and use my tools: I am curious about the symptoms, I allow them to run their course, and I remind myself that “It’s possible I will be okay”. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I’ve always been very open with my husband about when I’m having a hard time. Even now, if I find myself struggling, I will tell him so he knows and can understand why I may be acting a certain way.

I will talk about my anxiety and my stints of depression, including my postpartum depression, with anyone who is interested. I’ve learned that so many people struggle with anxiety and depression. The more we all talk openly about it, the less shame there is and hopefully more people are willing to reach out for help.

Someone I haven’t shared specific details with is our 6-year-old daughter. She is a lot like me, and I’m concerned that if I tell her about my anxiety, she may worry that it will happen to her. I have told her that I don’t like flying and sometimes it makes me nervous. When she asks why it makes me nervous, I tell her that I’m not sure and that I do my best to remind myself that it’s ok, but sometimes my brain doesn’t want to listen.

Recently, my views on sharing these details with her have begun to change, so it’s likely that I will start opening up more to her about what I’m feeling.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

My single piece of advice is to get help and remember that seeking help does not mean you are weak or defeated. It simply means you need help, and that’s okay. Keep in mind that “getting help” doesn’t have to be from someone with a Ph.D.

I do highly recommend you talk with your doctor about medication and find a therapist you connect with.

The connection with your therapist is paramount and key to your success. I’m talking about the kind of connection that is so strong that when you have even the smallest success in your journey, you can’t wait to tell them. You want to call, text, or have an appointment with them at that moment so you can share your success with them, no matter how small the victory.

Finding the right therapist can take time, so don’t get discouraged, and keep looking. There are even online therapists these days, so no excuses!

Other areas of help are in those around you and those who have faced a similar struggle. You may find it helpful to release the information and pent-up emotions. You may also find that people you are close with have their own struggles.

Find and connect with people who understand what you are going through. You need a support system.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

I think the only book I ever read on anxiety was Don’t Panic by Reid Wilson. It helped me understand what is physically happening to my body when I’m anxious.

I also use guided meditation podcasts to help me focus on my breathing when I’m having a hard time falling asleep or need to meditate. I haven’t found one that truly speaks to me, but any of them work in a pinch.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me, my family, and our travels on our travel blog.

You can also check out, like, and follow my Facebook page.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Managing My Flying & Food Anxiety By Forcibly Flying, Trying New Food & Therapy appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Are there benefits to having struggled?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I’m Lark Begin and live in Ottawa Ontario Canada. I own my own business in the digital marketing space. I have 2 pet guinea pigs. I enjoy nature, the outdoors, hiking, fishing, and strength training. I have been married to my husband since 2011. I consider myself to be happy most of the time, but I continue to struggle a few times per month.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I struggle with depression and anxiety. I occasionally experience high stress and dark days. It started 20 years ago when I was in my first year at University and had just experienced a bad breakup. 

It wasn’t treated until 1 year after I struggled with an eating disorder. I got help and saw a psychiatrist and psychologist. The combination of CBT therapy and medication helped. Over time it was manageable. 

Since trying to get pregnant in 2014, I went off the medication. Things were ok throughout the pregnancy but the depression came back as Postpartum Depression (PPD) after my first child. I thought it was just because I was a new parent and lacked sleep. The new addition made our life a bit more difficult, so naturally, there were days with added stress. But it was still manageable.

I had my second child in 2018 and during that pregnancy, I had to go back on medication due to severe depression. I have continued to be on the same medication since 2018. I tried going off of it for 2 months but the anxiety and dark days came back.

I still have a dark day 1-2x per month. The anxiety presents itself in stressful and social situations as well. This is still ongoing.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

The depression has drained a part of my life that I will never get back. I can’t seem to not see the dark side of things even when I’m fully happy – I feel like it won’t last.

I hid it – until the depression manifested itself into an eating disorder. I got very thin, then people started to worry. My parents pushed me into doing therapy as they were very worried about my health.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

It took me around a year with the eating disorder for me to get help.

When I started doing CBT – it really made me understand why I was feeling the way I was. When I started taking meds, things definitely took a turn in the right direction. It felt easy to go about my day. The days didn’t drag on and the minutes didn’t feel like hours.  

This change was a result of my circumstances (having parents that cared enough to push me to get help) in combination with my willingness to stick with therapy and get help by doing weekly and bi-weekly sessions.

I still see a therapist once per year or bi-annually, depending on if I feel I need some outside help.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Getting help takes a long time and getting medication can take even longer.

If you notice that your days seem difficult, reach out to someone. It’s definitely a process.

In the meantime, while you’re waiting for help from a progressional, read some popular books in the niche of anxiety and depression. This will let you stay informed and learn more about how you can deal with these difficult feelings on your own.

Seek professional help: Depression is a serious condition that should not be ignored. It’s important to seek professional help from a therapist or a doctor who can provide you with the right diagnosis and treatment plan.

Build a support system: It’s important to have a support system of friends and family who can provide emotional support during difficult times. Don’t hesitate to reach out to those around you for help when you need it.

Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. This can involve getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Challenge negative thoughts: Depression can often be accompanied by negative self-talk and pessimistic thinking. Challenge these thoughts by replacing them with positive, realistic ones.

Set small goals: Setting small, achievable goals can help you build momentum and feel a sense of accomplishment. Start small and gradually work your way up to bigger goals.

Also, continue to read self-help books. You need to understand your mood disorder in order to overcome it. Be your own therapist while you wait for professional appointments.

I’ve read Mind Over Mood, which comes with a workbook that is easy to follow. It also shares several types of people’s experiences with depression and how they overcome their thoughts. 

Dr. Robert Anthony wrote the book Beyond Positive Thinking, which I’ve read twice now, and would love to read again. 

Focus on mindfulness and read books about being in the moment. This can help you reduce the day-to-day mundane feelings of similar patterns.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I have shared my experience with depression and anxiety with 2 of my close friends and family members. I’m willing to share my struggles to help others deal with theirs. 

I have found a lot of others that have had to deal with PPD, I find it helpful to talk about it.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I wish I knew the signs to look for when it came to having a bad day vs. being depressed. I didn’t think I had a treatable issue (depression). I thought I was just prone to having bad days. Depression is a medical condition and not a personal failure. 

Are there any benefits that have come from your mood disorders?

My anxiety has pushed me to be self-reliant and resourceful. This allows me to be extremely organized, creative, stay focused on tasks and excel in my line of work. I also have a great amount of empathy for others, which can help me support and comfort others.

Having dark days also allows you to see the light in the good days and the little things. On a good day, you can really enjoy the small things and not be stuck in a dark cloud.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne helped me understand anxiety disorders and offers practical strategies for managing anxiety symptoms.

The Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon helped me understand causes, treatment options, and impact on individuals and society.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

I own my own digital marketing company, Profit Parrot, where you can learn more. You can also follow me on Instagram or connect with me on LinkedIn.

Your website: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/profitparrot

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/larkbegin/

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Therapy and Self-Care Helped me Overcome Postpartum Depression appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, I’m Rebecca Doring! I live in a log cabin nestled in the woods in Cornwall, CT with my husband, Chris, and our cat, Gunner.

Since going through the journey I’m about to share, I’ve discovered more things in my life to enjoy, and more importantly, to finally allow myself to enjoy them.

I’m most alive when in the woods going on adventures hiking, backpacking, trail running, on my yoga mat or meditation pillow, or laughing with my husband, my family, and our friends.

I consider myself to be happy, and it is an active choice and privilege each and every day. I never knew that I could experience true happiness like this, and it’s a result of my own personal practices that I’ve cultivated and now guide others through, too. 

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My struggle was binge eating, which caused urges to eat, oftentimes at a fast pace, until I physically couldn’t anymore. 

What’s most remarkable to me is that I had this struggle for about seven years without consciously being aware of it, believing myself to just be a ‘foodie’ who let herself overindulge from time to time. 

I finally realized what was going on after joining Corinne Crabtree’s No BS Weightloss membership and finding the subgroup within that called Trusting Your Body. 

Only then did I remember when it all began – in 2013 when I didn’t have many stress management tools and had no idea how to process the grief, fear, and uncertainty of seeing my dad diagnosed with terminal colon cancer. 

My boyfriend (now husband) wasn’t home and I had the apartment to myself. I had a dull, heaviness in my body that was always there, but especially ever since my dad had been diagnosed. 

I felt helpless and somehow unable to feel. We’d been told he had two and a half years to live and yet there was also a five percent chance he’d survive. Every time a test revealed his updated cancer numbers I didn’t know if it was safe to rejoice if they were low, or if I should prepare myself further for the possibility of his death. 

Simultaneously, I was in a relationship that was so different from anything I’d experienced, and felt genuinely happy. The drastic difference between my emotions confused me more.

I made a plate full of crackers with peanut butter and jelly, stood at the counter with music blasting, and ate them. I danced and I ate. The flavors and textures were so good that I made up a second plate as soon as I finished.

I kept eating and a wonderful relief settled in my body. I felt almost high with delight. The crunchy crackers and the balance of saltiness and sweetness of the peanut butter and jelly seemed to satisfy every craving that I had. 

I decided to eat another plate until it was time to go to bed, and I fell asleep feeling a comforting, soothing fullness in my body.

That was the moment I began binge eating. 

At first, I only ate like that occasionally and didn’t think too much of it. 

It was during this time that I quit the food industry and my dream of becoming a top pastry chef even though I had graduated from the Culinary Institute of America years before, and was drawn to enter into the wellness industry. 

I longed to know how to feel calm and grounded in my body at will, and not just when the perfect circumstances created it. 

I learned those tools nearly immediately after starting massage therapy school when they introduced us to meditation. I was hooked and over the next few years, I started my own massage therapy private practice, became a Reiki Master, Yoga Teacher, and finally a Meditation Teacher.

While my career, inner well-being, and relationship were all growing in beautiful ways, my dad was getting sicker. The week before my wedding, I broke down into hysterics on the side of the road, about to pick up my wedding dress, sobbing in my mom’s arms wondering how I could be so happy and excited about getting married and so scared and sad about possibly losing my dad at the same time. 

The extreme contrast kept binge eating alive. 

Late at night when I was alone, if my husband was out of the house, I’d find myself lost in the textures, sweetness, and saltiness of foods either in front of the TV or dancing to music. 

My dad passed away in 2015 and binge eating became a bigger crutch and problems began to arise. I found myself unable to stop eating until my stomach was so full it hurt and my body ached. I’d lie down and wish the over-full feeling would stop. A couple of times I considered trying to throw up just to release the pressure, but I’d always been afraid of vomiting so I never got myself to do it. 

Even in those moments, I never considered that there might be disordered eating. As long as I never purged, I thought I was fine. I just assumed that I loved food and got caught up in wanting just a little more without realizing that I’d overdone it.

Instead, I’d go to sleep and wait for it to go away, and faced a bigger problem in the morning. 

Before I’d even open my eyes, I’d wake up to thoughts of self-loathing. I’d mentally go over every bite I ate the day before repeatedly, disgusted with myself. 

I’d get up and look in the mirror and imagine having gained fifteen pounds overnight. I’d still feel full. My mind would be so hazy, hard to think, and riddled with such intense self-loathing I’d feel terrible the entire day.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Binge eating was like my alter ego; a hidden persona of unhappiness, pain, and self-loathing that was so deep that most times I was even unaware of it. No one knew what was going on. It never occurred to me that there was a problem. 

My health was suffering as my digestion was frequently so overloaded. I never thought about what kind of effect this might be having as I’d always had digestive problems since I was a child, it never dawned on me that binge eating might affect the way I digested food.

It got worse over time. I only stopped when I felt really sick and found myself eating faster so that I could eat more. The self-loathing got worse and no longer affected me just after, but before and during too. 

I could hear one voice shouting at me, telling me not to do it, while in a trance of sorts fixing a plate of food and eating it. The louder the voice got, the faster I ate trying to shut it up. 

Food went from being a joy, a creative outlet, and a way to experience fun in life to becoming a dreaded thing that I simultaneously longed for and feared. 

I fantasized about being able to just eat all day long forever. Then vowed to never eat triggering foods again, until the next time I binged on them, leaving me feeling like such a failure.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I found myself in a pattern of eating so much that I’d have to lie down for hours after and would be so constipated for days that I knew something needed to change. 

I found a cookbook to help support my digestion, Everyday Ayurveda Cookbook by Kate O’Donnell, and showed me I had no awareness of how it felt to be hungry or satisfied. Instead, I had always either felt ravenous or stuffed. I never knew anything in between. 

I had mostly been aware of what food tasted like, what food was good and bad, and wasn’t really aware of how the quantity of food felt in my body.

However, throughout my life if I felt bad after eating something, I usually thought it was the food itself that I’d have to cut out of my diet, it never occurred to me that the way I ate it and the amount could affect how I’d feel.

That cookbook taught me that it’s important to eat to be satisfied – not full – so that the GI system has the space to actually digest food.  It also taught me how to notice the difference between real hunger and just an empty stomach, which happens two hours after we eat and doesn’t mean we need to eat again right away. 

This was the beginning of a newly connected and kinder relationship with food, my body, and myself. 

This book transformed the way I ate the majority of the time – except for binges at night by myself. Sometimes when I felt the urge to binge and was watching TV with my husband, I’d tell him I was going upstairs to use the bathroom when I’d really go into our pantry and eat whatever I could. 

It was during one of these experiences that I realized that I wanted to learn how to stop overeating – which I believed was the problem.  

That’s when I began the real transformation of my journey through finding The Life Coach School Podcast by Brooke Castillo, Break Free From Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth, and No BS Weightloss Program by Corinne Crabtree. 

After I joined the No BS Weightloss Program, I discovered a subgroup within the program called Trusting Your Body, and was dumbfounded when I listened to the trainings taught by Guest Coach Jane Pilger. I learned that just because I had not been purging didn’t mean that I wasn’t binge eating.

I discovered that binge eating was a restriction, self-loathing, and shame problem, which I resonated with deeply. 

At this point, I’d been practicing and teaching meditation for years, and the rest of my life was continuing to transform for the better. Through my journaling practice and the support of The Life Coach School Podcast, I had been discovering and working through a lot of shame – or feelings of unworthiness. 

Trusting Your Body showed me that the self-compassion practices that I’d been doing in other areas of my life could be – and needed to be – applied here.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Binge eating was never really about food. Contrary to my belief, it wasn’t actually a way to enjoy food or being a foodie. Now that I don’t binge eat anymore, and I slow down, eat mindfully, and pay attention to my body and how it feels to receive food, I enjoy food in new ways. 

Binge eating was a way to try to self-soothe when I was restricting myself from feeling good, and instead feeling unworthiness and shame, and mentally beating myself up.  

I’m very grateful that I had already been practicing a lot of the tools I needed to overcome this issue. In a lot of ways, it was like discovering many nails that needed to be hammered down when I’d been carrying around a hammer for years. 

Here are some of the core concepts that helped support my journey. 

1. Curiosity, observing, and journaling

Curiosity is the antidote to judgment. In order to unravel and rewrite a pattern of intense judgment, you need to awaken curiosity.

As soon as I realized I had been binge eating and noticed feelings of unworthiness and shame, part of me was horrified and wanted to quickly fix myself – as if I discovered I’d been broken without knowing it. 

Yet meditation had given me the practice of setting aside the need to fix, and simply observing what is instead. It turns out that this skill was crucial for working through the pattern of shame, binge eating, and beating myself up.

I started to just get curious about my experience as if I were conducting an experiment, wanting to observe and gather data. 

I journaled about what I was thinking before, during, and after a binge without filtering myself. The more I did this, the less power these thoughts had.

Journaling had once been a safe place to vent as a kid, but now is a powerful tool in transforming even the oldest patterns and realigning with the truth. I journal every morning and believe I’d personally still be binge eating if I hadn’t used this tool to my advantage. 

2. Getting to know my body’s signals, sensations, and rhythms 

In our modern culture, many of us eat habitually, based on what time it is – not based upon if our bodies are actually hungry or not. Many of us grew up being told to finish our plates, regardless of how our bodies felt. In the most basic of ways, many of us have lost touch with knowing our own neutral, hunger, satisfied, and full signals. 

The cycle of binge eating blinded my awareness of my body when it came to eating. Instead, I was only aware of the binge cycle where I had the urge to binge, became acutely aware of the desire for flavors and textures on my tongue, and a haunting chant in my head saying, “just one more bite”, always focusing on wanting, never being aware of having. 

Connecting to my body through curiosity and observing became a lifeline. 

At first, I became aware of how my original pleasant feeling of being full that night in 2013 (and a subsequent good feeling I chased for years) wasn’t always true. I discovered that feeling full left my physical body heavy, dull, and sluggish, and wreaked havoc on my digestive system. 

Then I got to know how wonderful it feels to stop eating when satisfied. 

I noticed a light, pleasant energy afterward. I realized that this was what it felt like to fuel my body with food as opposed to just being present with the flavors and textures in my mouth. 

When I practiced shifting my attention to feeling my stomach and body instead of only my tongue and the urge to keep eating, I realized there was so much more to experience and enjoy. 

3. Allowing, feeling, accepting, and compassion

While getting to know my own body and its sensations, binge eating is mostly an emotional issue. Without confronting the emotions, it would’ve continued. 

When in a pattern of unworthiness and shame, our natural instinct is to turn away from ourselves, judge ourselves even more harshly, and either ignore ourselves altogether through distraction (TV, overworking, overeating, etc) or try to beat ourselves up in hopes of fixing, or changing our ways until we become ‘better’. 

This was my experience for as long as I can remember until I found the personal and spiritual development world. Meditation taught me how to get to know and befriend who I am, as Pema Chodron says, “Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better, it’s about befriending who we are already.” 

Rather than trying to throw my binge-eating self away, I needed to learn to allow her to be there with kindness and eventually acceptance and compassion. 

I had already spent years beating myself up over the issue and the issue only got stronger. As soon as I began allowing the issue to be there, and observing it with curiosity, the issue began to fade.

4. Having a plan in place

The Trusting Your Body program taught me to create a strategy for times when a binge occurs. Rather than trying to stop cold turkey, they guided us in learning how to binge better and developing deeper awareness, kindness, and compassion for ourselves along the way. 

Another crucial step that helped me reverse the pattern of binging, was to share it with someone safe at the moment. Brene Brown says, “As a shame researcher, I know that the very best thing to do in the midst of a shame attack is totally counterintuitive: Practice courage and reach out!”. 

An urge to binge is a sign of a shame attack, and Trusting Your Body taught me to reach out. At first, I only reached out to the Trusting Your Body community. Then I eventually shared my story with my best friend and husband. Both of them had no idea and felt honored that I told them what had been going on. They both became wonderful, non-judgmental, and compassionate anchors for me in those moments. 

5. What do you actually need?

Geneen Roth’s book, Break Free From Emotional Eating taught me to pause before, during, or after a binge and “ask” the food what I really needed. Every time I remembered to do this, I was amazed to receive an answer. 

I usually needed kindness, a break, rest, compassion, appreciation, and love. I didn’t need these things from others – I needed them from myself. 

My urge to binge was usually followed by mentally beating myself up. I realized that I craved soothing, and just wanted a break from the ridicule. 

I didn’t want to be restricted from pleasure, joy, love, connection, and my own worthiness anymore. What I needed most was to finally allow myself to feel, to be supported, and to embrace life. 

6. Allowing myself to feel good and intuitive eating

A final piece of the puzzle was realizing, from Roth’s book, that another simple reason I binged was that I had been restricting myself for years. 

I had also grown up with digestive issues and was always trying different restrictive diets to help. My health had gotten stronger in 2012 and I stopped those diets right before I began binge eating.

Diet culture teaches us that food is good or bad and when we get cravings for the ‘bad’ food and give in to them, we’re making a mistake – which further perpetuated the issue of judging myself, beating myself up, and binge eating. 

Roth introduced me to intuitive eating, letting go of the idea that food is good or bad, and allowing myself to have the things I craved if I was hungry and ate them mindfully. 

It felt like I was alive for the very first time with food! I had thought I loved food before, yet subconsciously I was sabotaging the joy of the moment with self-judgment over every bite. 

When I finally allowed myself to have what I desired and practiced eating slowly and mindfully, everything changed.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

For many years I didn’t know I was binge eating, myself – I just thought I was a foodie who overate and let herself overindulge from time to time. When I discovered what was really going on, I didn’t want to tell anyone because I still didn’t believe it was a big deal. 

I was embarrassed by it but also knew there are people out there who have more serious issues and I didn’t want to label myself with an eating disorder when I wasn’t sure that was the case. I felt silly and overly dramatic to tell anyone. 

After being in the Trusting Your Body program and experiencing how helpful it was to tell people when I was struggling, I decided to tell my best friend. 

I found it incredibly difficult and emotional. It felt like the hardest thing I’d ever said out loud. I was amazed by that; it told me that I really had been struggling with something in ways I hadn’t realized. 

After she received it with such compassion and I felt more connected to her, I wanted to tell my husband. He responded with the same level of compassion and safety, and both of them were there for me through some binges after. 

I discovered that each time I talked about it, it got easier. And as it got easier, the need to binge became smaller. 

I never anticipated that it would become a part of my journey as a teacher and a coach, and now I’m really grateful that I took the first step to share it with someone.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Just because your problem doesn’t seem that bad, or doesn’t seem like as big of a deal as what you see in society, doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve support. 

I have two important things to share that I wish I had known early on: 

One, if you beat yourself up, feel like you’re your own worst enemy, and loathe yourself regularly – that is not a sign that you’re a broken, damaged human being incapable of feeling different. 

It’s actually just a sign that you have a normal human brain that has been through patterns in your life and developed ways to protect yourself. 

Two, just because it’s normal that you’ve been in these patterns, doesn’t mean that it must remain your normal, constant way of being. 

Instead, I believe that you are capable of experiencing so much more and deserve to get in touch with the truth of who you really are. The voice putting you down, making you feel terrible inside is a voice that’s merely clouding the truth and can be released with practice. 

You deserve to find the support, guidance, and inspiration that’s out there – and there is a lot available. Whether it’s a therapist, coach, one of the books, podcasts, or programs I mentioned, you deserve to be free of this feeling and finally know what it’s like to see your own worthiness and enjoy happiness. 

I’m so grateful every day that I know what this feels like when it was a mystery for so long. Through this gratitude, I’m inspired to share my story, and passionate to teach the tools I’ve learned to others. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown: This was the very first personal development book I read that felt like it was written for me. I had been a perfectionist since I could remember and Brene showed me a new way of seeing myself, my life, and what’s possible that I never knew could be. This book is the first book I recommend to all of my students now. I continue to reread it once a year and always find it so supportive and relatable. 
• Everyday Ayurveda Cookbook by Kate O’Donnell: This simple cookbook provided me with an introduction to Ayurveda (India’s alternative medicine system), and easy ways to get to know my own body including ways to support my digestion and wellbeing. This was the first step toward reversing binge eating for me. 
• Break Free From Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth: This book is for anyone who eats emotionally but especially for anyone who has binged in any way before. I was able to learn such compassion and understanding of myself through the pages. Geneen gave me the gift of allowing myself to receive simple joys in life, including letting go of fear of food and embracing the joy of it.
• The Life Coach School Podcast by Brooke Castillo: This podcast transformed my life! I started listening to it early on in my introduction to the wellness industry and know that I wouldn’t be where I am today without learning the important concepts Brooke Castillo teaches. I began at episode one and encourage new listeners to do the same. I recommend it to all my students as well.
• No BS Weightloss Membership by Corinne Crabtree (and Trusting Your Body inside with Guest Coach Jane Pilger: This program is so much more than a weight loss program. While Corinne teaches simple and doable tools to lose weight without diet culture including good habit building, what she’s really teaching is emotional intelligence, processing, and management. This is why I joined her program and am so grateful for her. I learned how to manage my own emotions without food through her support and the support of Trusting Your Body with Jane. I learned how to love my body and myself with their guidance.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

Today, I’m so honored to guide others who are struggling with similar things that I was. I love guiding other women who are craving more for their lives, wanting a new, fulfilling chapter of knowing themselves and living their purpose doing what lights them up, without being stuck beating themselves up and sabotaging their joy, and I do so in my program Inner Critic Freedom.

You can find more about me on my website, follow me on Instagram, or connect with me on LinkedIn!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post I Developed a Habit of Binge Eating Without Realizing it appeared first on Tracking Happiness.