Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources

Hello! Who are you?

Hello! My name is Natalia Nieves. I live in my hometown Palm Bay, FL, I grew up in Cocoa, FL. I graduated from high school in May 2023. Graduating from high school was my greatest achievement.

Right now I am doing a gap year, taking a break from education until I know exactly where I want to be. I am single, I wanna work on myself before I get into a relationship. My passions are writing, marine life, mental health, and self-care. 

Throughout the years, I have been discovering new things about myself through my mental health journey. I have always been the kind of child with a good heart. I grew up with my mom, who is my number one role model, and two younger siblings.

My childhood without my father was a struggle for me, I was four years old when I left my father. I didn’t understand the horrible things that he did and how he was emotionally and medically neglectful and what he did wasn’t okay. 

I have never been this happy in a long time. 2023 has shown me how “time heals everything”- Luke Combs. Every day I learn more about myself, my past experiences made me who I am today. 

This is something that took me a long time to realize that I am worthy. I am proud to see how things that we go through are lessons and guidance. Seeing how they are tests that challenge us to decide whether or not we choose to take the path towards something good.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I experienced childhood sexual abuse in March 2019 (which was a one-time occurrence) when I was still in middle school and then in May 2021, I developed PTSD from that experience.

In May 2019, I started to suffer from depression that had nothing to do with the abuse. I remember the day when my depression was developing, I was sitting in my classroom and just didn’t care what was happening around me.

As my Sophomore year was coming to an end, I started to develop constant flashbacks, nightmares about the event, and severe anxiety causing shortness of breath, uncontrolled tremors, hypervigilance, and anxiety attacks from the traumatic event.

What was scary was my pulse would race and chest tightened when anxiety attacks would constantly come from post-traumatic stress. Along with PTSD, I suffered with trauma bond for two years.

In 2020, I started to suffer with social anxiety disorder after returning to school from the pandemic. Feeling isolated and losing confidence in myself made it really difficult for me to make new friends.

I was all alone wanting to hide by the wall. My closest friends didn’t return to school after covid-19, I was lonely and so anxious that I would cover my face with my hair. I was bullied in middle school which went on for a few years. 

In 2021, I also developed generalized anxiety disorder when my PTSD was beginning to show symptoms, and weeks later I decided to tell my story to a high school counselor, which felt like one of the most terrifying moments of my life

I then got help recently after speaking out about the sexual abuse from seeing a counselor on a weekly basis. I was vulnerable as I opened up about my experiences, being educated on why I was feeling ashamed, guilty, and betrayed by my perpetrator and learning how to not let it control me.

I found out from my most recent counselor that I have an anxious preoccupied attachment that I feel like I have been dealing with for as long as I can remember.

I get attached to others easily and fear rejection and abandonment, I am afraid of being hurt and betrayed by anyone new that comes into my life. I still struggle with trust issues from my past experiences, I fear that whoever I let in will let me down.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

After the abuse happened, I didn’t realize or understand it was abuse. So instead, I felt like I bonded with my perpetrator and decided to get in contact.

We would text each other through Facebook Messenger and I craved the attention that my abuser gave me, there were highs and lows at times as most messages involved emotional abuse, but there were also conversations that were comforting. 

When we lost touch, I showed signs of depression. When I developed depression, it was like my heart was shattered into pieces. I lost the kind of relationship that I thought I had and felt like I did something wrong. 

When I realized that I experienced sexual abuse as a teenager, I didn’t know what to do. I started having vivid flashbacks from the event that made me feel afraid to tell anyone.

I feared telling the truth to someone, but I had to get it out when I didn’t know what else to do. I craved the cycle of abuse from the trauma bond I was psychologically trapped in and feared what would happen to my abuser if I told the whole story to someone.

When I shared my trauma from the beginning to the end of everything I remember, the school counselor I trusted believed me and got me the help I needed to heal. 

It felt like my blood ran cold when the truth came out and then my mom found out about it from someone else and I confessed the truth to her.

This experience caused me to feel guilty, ashamed, hypervigilant, and blame myself. I thought to myself, “I have feelings for this person.” “Why would this person do this?” “What did I do to deserve it?” 

These thoughts stuck with me for two years until I now realize that my experience can’t define me and I deserve better.

In 2020, when quarantine began, I felt so isolated and disconnected from the world. Months later, when the school opened again, I developed social anxiety disorder (SAD). 

I started to feel a lack of confidence in my appearance and I couldn’t look people in the eyes or have a conversation without anxiety creeping in. It was my sophomore year, and my mental state impacted my education. I was afraid and embarrassed to ask for extra help with my school work, work in small class groups, communicate, and connect with others in class.

When my post-traumatic stress (PTS) started to develop, I felt something that I’d never felt before in my life. I started having vivid nightmares, intrusive thoughts, and flashbacks that were constantly bringing back the trauma.

I wanted to say something to someone, but I was afraid of what would happen to my abuser. I decided that I would try to receive closure from my abuser before I took a big step toward healing. 

Then on the week of my abuser’s birthday in August 2021, it got to the point where I had to get the truth out to someone. During the summer of 2021, I started to talk about my experience with a good friend and still didn’t want anyone to know who abused me.

When my mom first suspected something and asked me if someone had touched me, I denied it. She could tell that I lied and tried to cover up the story.

My trauma bond made me feel like I had no control over my feelings towards my perpetrator and I did anything to not cause trouble and do anything for that person. 

My mom would do anything to protect me and my siblings and that was the part that terrified me. The addiction I had to post-traumatic stress was like there was no escape, I was emotionally trapped with my heart constantly being punched.

Then, my mom found out the truth from someone else by receiving a phone call and I had a feeling in my gut that she received horrific news. This was on the same day when I told my entire trauma experience to my high school counselor, which was a frightening occurrence that I carried.

My mom was on the phone being secretive of who was on the phone and I knew who it was. I was just as terrified as opening up to the officer who got involved. She talked to me in my room alone with furious behavior.

I was then getting help to work towards my healing journey. I was vulnerable and open to work on recovering from my mental illnesses, I wanted to not feel what I was feeling anymore.

I learned trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy to guide me by learning about the experience. I learned to let go and move forward with time. It was a lot of hell that I kept pushing through and I am proud to be where I am today.

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Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

In June 2022, I decided to get on medication for my anxiety and social anxiety disorder. I have always been big on self-care when my mental health hits rock bottom. 

Being on medication after a few weeks showed a difference in my thinking with social situations. I started to see that I shouldn’t care what people think, I am a loyal and caring person, and I can find people who accept me after two years of insecurity.

This doesn’t mean that I am considering that others should get on medication to overcome a mental disorder, I never depended on it for my PTSD. We all have our own ways of healing.

As my post-traumatic stress showed unexpectedly, I never turned to substances as a coping mechanism. Instead, I needed to get it out by writing about the experience or telling someone about it. 

In October 2021, I remember myself thinking how I didn’t wanna keep living in pain and fear, I then was in counseling for the first time after I opened up about my sexual abuse.

I received a great education and healthy coping mechanisms to help me get through the dark times.

As months and then two years have gone, I kept educating myself to find answers. Today, I have healed from this tragedy by giving it my best to prioritize my healing journey with time.

With the support I got and educating myself, I feel relief that I am seeing change in my personal journey. 

When I was depressed for a year, I didn’t think I would realize that I needed to let go and realize that it was an experience that was temporary. 

This was something I never felt. I then learned that change is what challenges us. I know that I wouldn’t change my experiences that have led me to a positive change.

I am still learning how to live a better life by rebuilding relationships and learning to make new ones. I want to improve my self-awareness and rebuild my self-confidence.

With me knowing that I struggle with anxious attachment, I can dig deep into navigating how to heal and become a better version of myself.

I feel so proud of who I’ve become, I’m so grateful for my support system, even my mom. She has always been by my side and did whatever she could to support me.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I started researching my symptoms of depression, wondering why I was filled with emptiness inside, and why I had dreams about someone that I thought cared for me.

I would listen to YouTube videos and go into therapy to help me understand why I was taken advantage of and how I can overcome this battle.

Journaling has been my best friend, I get my thoughts out by writing what I’m feeling. 

I found that digging into my trauma by writing down questions to ask myself about the experience. This helped me get a better understanding of my emotions.

What really helped me with my anxiety and depression was talking to my school counselors and my amazing friend who supported me. 

I talked to people I trust to get my thoughts out when they hit rock bottom. I learned to make myself a priority by doing simple tasks at home like chores to not dwell on my depression.

I can’t recall a lot of when I was depressed, I just remember the time it started and when there were darker times.

If I would go back to talk to my younger self, I would tell her not to blame herself. These feelings are temporary and you are growing every day.

For my severe generalized anxiety, I would make myself a priority. I stick to self-care routines that have helped me. 

For my routine, journal when thoughts get to me, I have an exercise routine, and I eat healthy. I feel like this routine has made a positive impact on my well-being along with counseling.

My social anxiety was improved by medication for the most part. I used to feel so insecure I couldn’t talk to people without choking.

It also started to make me feel in a low mood, almost like I was depressed but without wanting to cry.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

When I was back in school in 2020, I was at home sitting in the living room, and one of my best friends, who is like a big brother to me, had me open up to him about my depression I remember him saying how he can relate to what I was feeling.

I was relieved to express what I was holding in for a while. We were in high school together for a few years and our friendship is still a close bond.

I trust him when I need support in any situation. He is empathetic and compassionate.

For my post-traumatic stress, I decided to talk about my symptoms with the same friend.

I was afraid of mentioning my abuser because if my mom found out, she would go into full protective mode. During this time, I had feelings towards my perpetrator like I cared deeply for the abuser, feeling stuck in a trauma bond.

My friend has been supportive and trustworthy to me. I told him that two years ago, I started to realize that I was touched inappropriately by someone and I get vivid nightmares, intrusive thoughts, and flashbacks.

I also talked to my uncle about the situation in the same way as I talked to my friend by not giving too much detail. I then told my junior history teacher that I was abused and that year was very emotionally hard for me. 

My history teacher supported me when I needed to vent. It was so terrifying to talk about the fact that I was molested. I went for weeks without telling my friend or uncle who my perpetrator was. I just wanted the nightmares and flashbacks to end.

I was not comfortable talking to my mom about my mental health journey when it took a toll, she would come at me with tough love, like I’m not supposed to feel this way.

She once said that I can’t keep thinking this way with a hard tone because she doesn’t want to see me hurting inside. I would talk to my aunt, who is like my second mom. 

She listens and knows what advice to give when I am struggling. I am overall grateful that I got the support and help I deserved to help me grow. I am vulnerable and I have been since I was a kid.

I was raised to be open and honest about my health and emotional state. My mom would always be asking how I was feeling due to my medical history.

I was angry and would lash out when I had to leave my father so young. I was at the age where I didn’t understand the reasons. My mom would always be by my side trying to be strong for me when my medical complications were bad.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I want others to know that this won’t last forever. You have to fight and give it your all, don’t give up. Time is everything.

Today, I can look back on my journey and that it was worth it. It made me who I am today. I am stronger and aware that the world isn’t perfect. 

What we go through is a challenge for us to decide whether to give it all or nothing. If I were to talk to my younger self, I would say “You are not to blame and I am so proud of how far you’ve come. You can’t be so hard on yourself.” 

This mental health journey has made me discover good outcomes in my life. I can see 14-year-old Natalia wasn’t aware of her surroundings because she never should have faced tragedies that no kid deserves. 

She never saw this kind of behavior before and liked the attention that was given. I wish I could have realized I am not less than I am enough. Go easy on yourself and take it one day at a time.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

Ted Talks became inspiring to me. This was helpful to me because people came to talk about their own experiences and share advice for those who could relate

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

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Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Overcoming Trauma and Depression With Therapy, Journaling and Self-Care appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Tatyana Frost and I live in Manchester New Hampshire. I work in social work and have worked as a clinical mental health case manager, but recently accepted a new position as an inpatient mental health counselor.

It can be a challenge to work in mental health while struggling with your own, but it has provided me with copious amounts of perspective and knowledge which not only allows me to help others, but also myself.

I am currently engaged to my amazing partner and we are planning our wedding for October of next year. We have two kitty cats together, Kimchi and Frittata and they are my whole world!

Most days I would say I consider myself to be satisfied and pleased with my life, but I would say this is a fairly recent development. I have always struggled with what I call my “deep down sadness” which often interrupts my ability to feel secure and joyful in life.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I began to struggle with my mental health when I was really young. I’ve kept diaries my whole life and the first record I have of wanting to kill myself was when I was about 9 years old.

I have a trauma history dating back to before I could speak when I was taken out of my home in Ulyanovsk, Russia due to neglect and suspected abuse.

I was adopted by my new family when I was about 3 years old and taken to the States. I struggled with being adopted a lot; I felt like I was an unwanted, unlovable, and undeserving child.

My adoptive family provided me with a great life but could be very emotionally, verbally, and at times physically abusive. I grew up chronically invalidated and gaslit, being told that my feelings were unimportant or wrong.

My mother made me feel as though nothing I did was ever enough to please her and pushed shame onto me when she was feeling insecure. I always felt as though I was responsible for my parent’s inability to manage their emotions and that I was the problem. 

As a teenager, my depression worsened but I struggled to speak up since mental health was a taboo topic of discussion in my family. Besides, at the time I thought that everyone was feeling the way I did inside.

That was when I began self-harming for the first time. I had heard about it and thought that since that’s what others did to feel better, it would make me feel better too. Self-harming became a regular coping skill I would utilize whenever my mom and I would fight, which was often.

My first episode of mania was when I was about 17. I had never been manic before, and my naturally hyperactive personality created an easy-to-wear mask for this symptom.

I began staying up for days, experiencing rapid speech, and most notably, delusions and paranoia. I would hide when I thought there were people watching me outside, and at one point believed I could fly.

The delusions got worse as the mania increased, but seemingly out of nowhere, the mania would turn into severe depression. I struggled to get out of bed and watched myself fail a test for the first time. These vicious cycles went on uninterrupted for months, causing daily struggles.

I tried to talk to my mom about what was going on, but she told me that I was just lonely and my iron was low. She refused to let me see a therapist and eventually, my school counselor had to step in for me to get any help. 

The summer before my senior year I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital for suicidal ideation with plan, means, and intent. After about a one-month stay I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type 1 with psychotic features.

I was hospitalized two times again after that, the second time for symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and the third time for symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I was assaulted in February of 2023 by my self-defense instructor and it made my BPD and PTSD symptoms significantly worse than they had been in a very long time.

Almost daily I would have horrible nightmares, flashbacks, episodes of dissociation, and blind rage where I would self-harm and damage things in my home. It became very scary and overwhelming for my partner to see me going through something that neither he nor I knew how to control.

More than anything impacted my ability to work as a mental health professional. I had to reduce from full-time to part-time at work which caused even more internal shame. 

These days my Bipolar Disorder is mainly managed through medication which I take daily. I still experience minor episodes of mania and depression but not to the same extreme as without my medication.

My BPD and PTSD symptoms are still a daily struggle, but my weekly sessions with a trauma therapist doing Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Rapid Desensitization (EMDR), and Polyvagal Theory help to keep some of my symptoms in check. I still struggle daily with emotional dysregulation and occasional dissociative symptoms. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Before my diagnosis, these illnesses provided me with nothing but confusion and stigma. I knew something was wrong, but didn’t know what. It was draining to be fighting an illness with no support, and felt defeated for every day was a challenge that felt impossible to win.

I think I did try to hide it in the beginning because I was in denial myself, but eventually, I knew that hiding it was only hurting me. I was rejected by my family when I reached out for support, and that only caused more internal shame. I felt alone and depressed simply knowing that others were not seeing my struggle and not listening to my desperate cries for help.

When I was eventually diagnosed, I had to grieve the life I thought I would have. After each of my diagnoses, I felt as though my life would never be what I always imagined it to be. And in a lot of ways, it wasn’t.

In a lot of ways, it was better. My diagnosis gave my healthcare providers and myself direction for my treatment. In 2022 I was in a place of maintenance with my treatment. 

After being assaulted in February 2023 I felt like a completely different person. My symptoms of PTSD and BPD were completely unmanageable. I felt like a completely different person and had no idea how to go through life.

These struggles were very obvious to my fiancé, but neither of us knew what to do about it. These symptoms I could not hide no matter how badly I wanted to. When I wasn’t working I was self-medicating, and even at work there were many times where I broke down emotionally.

I felt a lot of pressure from myself to hide these symptoms, to pretend as if that event didn’t change me. Even now, I haven’t completely processed it and still feel as though I haven’t gotten myself back. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I think the first time that I noticed things turning around was probably when I went to college. For the first time, I was able to find myself away from the judgment and control of my parents.

I had taken control over aspects of my life that I had, up until that point, felt uncontrollable: my eating, my routine, and exercise, and my social circles. All of which positively impacted my mental health. I would say 70% of circumstances and 30% of actions resulted in the bettering of my mental health.

However, it wasn’t perfect, and I quickly learned that relapse is a part of recovery. During my second semester in college, I was hospitalized again and that stay was another turning point for me.

Each hospitalization taught me something new and reminded me that improving your mental health is a lifelong project. I had a few months period of stability before COVID hit and I had to move back into my parents’ house.

After moving back in with my parents, I learned that living in that toxic environment took a huge toll on my mental health and I decided to move out and into my aunt’s house. This was another time in my life where I had relapsed in my mental health symptoms and it took me months to get to a more stable place. 

After about a year of living with my aunt and desperately trying to salvage my relationship with my parents, I moved to New Hampshire with my then-boyfriend, now fiance’, in 2021.

I really struggled with that transition and my relationship with my parents since moving out was still extremely strained. I once again fell back into unhealthy habits and patterns – self-medicating, isolating, self-harming. It wasn’t until a year after moving to New Hampshire that I felt as though I found my footing.

A combination of medication, time, regular exercise, and intentional efforts in therapy brought me to a place of maintenance with my mental health struggles. My mental health has continued to have ups and downs since then, especially after my assault in February of this year.

It spent several months living in a reactive state after the assault and struggling to get back to a place of good physical and mental health. I am still recovering from that experience and I know that I will throughout the rest of my life have consistent periods of relapse and recovery – but to think that recovery is simple and happens all at once would be naive. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Over the years there have been countless things I have learned from my mental health treatment. One of the biggest things that has continued to help me along my journey with mental health is education.

After being diagnosed with Bipolar, BPD, and PTSD the first thing I would always do is buy a book, watch a video, read an article, etc. Working in the field now and being an advocate online, this is the first thing I always recommend people do after any diagnosis.

It’s hard to help yourself or know what you need without understanding first what beat you’re dealing with. It can be helpful to look at the DSM 5 diagnostic criteria, however, I personally think it’s more helpful to read testimonials and find people online or in your own life with the same diagnosis.

Keep in mind that everyone’s experience with mental illness is different, even if you have the same diagnosis. When I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, I loved Kay Redfield Jamison’s memoir An Unquiet Mind. That particular author has written a couple of books on the subject and as a psychologist herself shares her story very openly.

To this day, it is my favorite memoir of someone with Bipolar 1. I spent a lot of time watching educational documentaries and first-hand accounts of others with the same diagnosis. It helped me to feel less alone and also to educate myself.

After my BPD diagnosis, I really struggled to understand what BPD was and how it impacted me. The book, I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me provided me with the diagnostic criteria, case studies, and tips and tricks for managing my symptoms.

The value in doing this is not only so that you yourself know what you’re dealing with, but also so that you can help others in your life better understand. 

One of the best things I did for my Bipolar Disorder was to track my symptoms and episodes. I used the eMoods app for this. I started doing it after being given the suggestion myself and found that it was invaluably helpful.

Once I began tracking my symptoms in relation to sleep, irritability, mania, depression, whether I took my meds, and whether I had therapy, it helped me see my own cycles.

Not only did it give me an idea of when I would cycle into a depression or mania and how long it would last, but it also was helpful to share with my providers so that they knew what was coming and how they could help me.

I learned that my cycles usually last about a month or so and that not sleeping or taking my meds can be a huge trigger. In the app, I was also able to add notes. I would track my self-harming habits, whether I was menstruating, or if there were any additional psychological stressors going on at the time. 

I also found that having routines did wonders. A consistent sleep and exercise routine kept me on a positive track with my symptoms. Sleep has always been a huge trigger for me – without sleep, I am more likely to enter a manic episode.

Working a job kept me on a stable sleep routine and also gave me a daily routine to adhere to. Exercise has always been something I have struggled with but once I found a way to exercise that was good for me, it was amazing how it lifted my energy and self-confidence.

I have always found that yoga was a great practice for me as it has a mind and body effect to it. Outlets for your daily stressors that can also better your physical health can be an important part of mental wellness.

However, for those who don’t like exercising, having any outlet is helpful. I also like to unleash my creativity through music, art, journaling, and theater. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

In the beginning, I held a lot of inner shame and stigma about my diagnosis. I had a hard time talking to those who I knew were not understanding, such as family members.

However, I have always cared about being the change you want to see in the world. After my first hospitalization at 17, I returned to high school late that summer due to being in treatment. It was a tradition at my school to share a presentation about how your summer went and what you did.

I spent most of my summer in a mental hospital recovering from severe depression and mania. I felt very conflicted about sharing this, and for a while, I tried to decide if I would instead create an elaborate lie for my presentation. No one in my school knew, and I wasn’t sure I wanted them to.

After an internal battle for a few weeks, I made the decision to share my hospital experience in the presentation. I realized that the shame and stigma I felt were residue of the stigma that society told me I should be feeling, and I wanted to do better. I focused my entire presentation on my hospital stay, and while I didn’t go into too many details, I was proud of myself for not adding to the shame. 

It was hard in the beginning, and I had experiences where I thought I was safe to share and ended up realizing I wasn’t. There was a girl I met at a pre-college event that I told about my diagnosis and I ended up regretting her response which was shrouded in miseducation.

She told me that she, too, had mood swings and maybe she was Bipolar. It made me feel as though she wasn’t taking it seriously and invalidated the very real symptoms I was experiencing.

Mood swings are a normal part of life that everyone has. Bipolar Disorder is more than mood swings. While I have always cared about advocacy, I also recognized that I am not responsible for educating everyone in the world; I am not the sole spokesperson for the illness, and I wasn’t open with everyone even when I wished I could be.

Later in life I started casually dating a guy who I planned to tell about my diagnosis, but ended up changing my mind when he shared previous negative experiences with someone in his life who also had Bipolar.

I wonder now if it would have been okay, but at the time I was worried that his negative point of view on the illness would have a ripple effect on me. I never told him and didn’t end up seeing him anymore after that. 

As someone who works full-time, it was always a challenge to decide whether I should or shouldn’t share my disorders with my employers and colleagues at work.

So far, I have. The biggest reason is that I have had numerous times in my life where I have had to take time off of work and school in order to focus on my mental health. I am also fortunate to work in the mental health system and have had very understanding and non-judgmental coworkers.

I am always the most worried about sharing my BPD diagnosis since, out of them all, that one tends to have the harshest stigma. At this point, I have not had a boss or coworker who has been unkind about my struggles, and my current boss has been very receptive to my limitations at work.

In these ways, I am very lucky, as I know this is not everyone’s experience. Whether I do or don’t decide to share my disorder with my workplace, I always check the box during hiring that inquires about disabilities, as mental health disorders such as Bipolar and BPD are considered such.  

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Something that I wish I had known earlier in my mental health journey is that my mental illness does not need to define me. Looking back, I see now that while I was processing and educating myself on my Bipolar diagnosis, I overidentified with the label.

I let it become too much of me and who I thought I was. While this is controversial in the mental health world and everyone has their own preferences, I stopped using the phrase “I am Bipolar/BPD” and instead I say, “I have…” I did this when I noticed how overidentifying with my diagnosis was hindering rather than helping me.

No one would say you are PTSD or you are Cancer. It helped me remember that my mental illnesses are a part of me, not who I am. I am so much more than what label I have been given. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• An Unquiet Mind – Kay Redfield Jamison: Helped me to understand my disorder, see that I am not alone, and showed me that having a mental illness makes me even better equipped to be a mental health professional. 
• I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality – Jerold J. Kreisman, Hal Straus: Provided me with an education and understanding of what BPD is, how it develops, and how I can cope with it. This is also a book I would recommend to anyone who has a loved one with this disorder. After I read it, I asked my fiance to do so as well. 
• The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel Van Der Kolk: While this book should have been updated since its release, it is still a cult classic in understanding PTSD and BPD. It is very written in a very digestible format and I always recommend it to my clients with PTSD. It helped me to understand how PTSD impacts me and treatments that can help, such as EMDR. 

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can learn more about me on Instagram @havingbipolar. There you will find access to the podcasts I have spoken on and my own self-help book I wrote about a year ago designed for those with Bipolar Disorder. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Finding My Way Through Bipolar, BPD, and PTSD With Therapy and Medication appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi there! I’m Stephanie, a photographer based in a small town in Wisconsin. I’ve been running my own photography business for 10 years now, and my number one passion is capturing life’s moments through my lens.

I also love reading and learning new things, and I consider myself a happy person. For me, happiness is a choice, and I’ve worked hard to overcome my inner critic that tells me I’m not good enough.

I am in a relationship with a wonderful person. He is also a photographer, so we have lots of fun together. I live with my son and our cat Leo. 

I love books and learning new things. One of my favorite topics to read about is mindset training. Being in charge of my thoughts- versus, letting them consume me. 

Being in charge of my thoughts means that I have more control over my life- and that means that I get to decide if I want to be happy or not.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I was diagnosed with PTSD around the age of 40, but I had been struggling for much longer. I was aware of my symptoms, but I didn’t know the extent of my trauma until a friend told me about Brainspotting. I found a therapist who specialized in Brainspotting, and we began working together.

The first step in Brainspotting is to assess the client’s symptoms and identify any underlying trauma. My PTSD stemmed from the trauma I endured when I became pregnant with twins at 16.

They were born prematurely and both struggled with ongoing health problems. One of them developed cerebral palsy, and the other struggled with ADD and a nonverbal learning disorder.

At 16, I was ill-equipped to handle a pregnancy, let alone a traumatic delivery, and having twins in the NICU for three months. While the focus was on the babies, as it should be, I was struggling with the shock of an unwanted pregnancy and the premature birth of my children. The stress, fatigue, loneliness, and isolation took their toll on me. I had no outlet, no community, and no support.

I lived with this trauma for many years, and it held me back in many ways. I couldn’t develop deep relationships with other people because I couldn’t develop one with myself. PTSD impacted my entire life.

Now, looking back at the trauma and fear I experienced starting at the age of 16, my heart hurts for that girl. She was literally living with the trauma of the preterm labor, the medical issues, the family issues, and everything else. There was no way even an adult could handle that on their own. It affected my entire life.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I never understood why I couldn’t just be happy. I would beat myself up over it, wondering why I couldn’t be content with my beautiful home and fulfilling life. But my PTSD and trauma had a profound impact on my happiness and the happiness of my family.

I tried to hide my anxiety and fears from everyone, but they often left me feeling depressed, tired, and isolated. I was always trying to be better than the person I thought I was.

My trauma was buried so deep that it had become a part of my identity. I really thought I was a bad person and that I was unworthy of happiness. I didn’t realize that there was a different way to think or live.

All the things that should have made me feel better – a gym membership, hiking in nature – made me feel worse. I felt numb and empty, and I was angry at myself for not being able to enjoy them. Trauma and my inner critic ruled my life.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

In March 2022, I decided to take a month in Santa Barbara to figure out my life. Being in a new town gave me the space to see who I really was and what I wanted.

I went to Zumba, joined a meditation group, and went for walks on the beach. I finally felt safe, and I began to heal the fear and trauma I had accumulated over the years.

During that month, I realized that I needed to get divorced and move into my own space. It was a difficult decision, but it was the right one for me. I was finally ready to be myself and to live the life I wanted.

After I left my marriage, my life began to change rapidly. I started to understand the books I had read about mindset, joy, and gratitude. I realized that I was in control of my thoughts and feelings and that I could choose to focus on the things that brought me joy.

I now feel free to express myself, and I am using my voice to help others feel good about themselves, to make a difference, and to make choices for themselves.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Being a teen mom was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I felt insecure, alone, unworthy, and ashamed. It breaks my heart to write this because I can still feel all of those emotions.

If you’re struggling with these feelings, for any reason, I want you to know that I love you. I don’t know you, but I know your struggles, your heart, and the strong love you give out. You just haven’t found a safe place to receive that love back yet. But I love you.

I know the courage it takes to just be here, to show up every day. I know how hard it is just to be you. And even if you think your strength is gone and you want to give up, you have to keep going.

There are good people in the world who really do just want you to be happy. You have to use your strength to find those people. But first, you have to find a safe place to be yourself.

All the therapists, walks, hikes, and motivational books in the world won’t help you until you’re in a safe place to receive the love and kindness you deserve.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

A single piece of advice I would give is that don’t worry about what other people think. You have to do you. Until they have walked a mile in your shoes- they cannot give you advice or judge you. The second thing, learn meditation. It’s a literal lifesaver.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
• The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk.
• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, also love Eat, Pray, Love!
• Meditations with Sara Mclean (Youtube). 
• Sue Bryce Podcast– here’s my favorite.
• Prince Charming Isn’t Coming By Barabara Stanny.
• Soul Without Shame by Byron Brown.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me here, or on Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

I would love to talk about my morning routine for happiness and abundance! It is a huge part of who I am and why I am able to choose happiness.

Every morning, I stay off social media and write out my day hour by hour on paper. This helps me silence my overactive, judgy, and critical mind later in the day when it’s at its loudest. After taking my son to school, I walk my dog and then meditate for 10-15 minutes, usually with a guided meditation on YouTube or with relaxing music.

I schedule time into my day for walks with my dog, coffee with a friend, or an afternoon hike. And every day, I try to do at least one thing that will make me happy. I literally ask myself, “What could I do today that makes me happy?” And I do it!

I had a marketing coach who would always say, “What makes you happy? What makes you joyful?” I really appreciated that question because if you’re not happy, you’re not going to attract clients!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Therapy and Meditation Helped Me Navigate Birth Trauma as a Teen Mom appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hello, my name is Dr. Kyle Elliott, and I currently live in Santa Barbara, California with my partner, J.V. We’re both Disney Magic Key Holders and moved to Southern California from the San Francisco Bay Area at the beginning of the pandemic to be closer to Disneyland!

When not at Disneyland, I’m a career coach, and I specialize in senior managers and executives in the tech industry. In other words, I help leaders find jobs at companies like Meta, Amazon, and Google, as well as private equity and VC-backed companies and hyper-growth startups.

I’m also a writer and love using my words to help educate others, whether it’s about navigating the nuances of a modern-day job search, growing in their careers, or managing stress and anxiety.

I’m a proud mental health advocate and manage my mental health through lots of therapy, self-care, and, of course, trips to Disneyland.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

One of the biggest challenges in my life has been learning how to effectively cope with anxiety on a daily basis. In my undergraduate studies, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder, following five years of daily migraines that seemed to have no cause.

While it was helpful to finally uncover the root cause of the chronic migraines and see them quickly dissipate as I began managing the anxiety, it’s an ongoing journey that has required consistent attention, ongoing tweaks, and the help of my community.

Looking back, I’ve had anxiety and OCD for as long as I can remember. As a child, I had interesting quirks such as the constant urge to straighten picture frames, ensure hangers were spaced the same distance apart, and check that the lights were turned off. As an adult, my anxiety manifested as a work addiction with perfectionist tendencies and people-pleasing behavior.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I’ve always been a high performer, and my anxiety has fueled my success, though it has also resulted in fatigue and burnout at times. Anxiety has been both my superpower and my kryptonite.

My anxiety was at its worst while in graduate school. I was sexually assaulted and subsequently developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). One of the most frightening PTSD symptoms was panic attacks that felt like déjà vu but would last for hours on end.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

While I started therapy during my sophomore year of college, it really made the most impact when I met my current therapist, Stephanie, and she challenged me to stop waiting to live the life I wanted.

Before meeting Stephanie, I said I would relax once I got to college… And then once I got to graduate school… And then once I landed my first professional job… And then once I launched my business… And then once my business hit six figures…

During our very first session, Stephanie “caught on” to the fact that I perpetually pushed off my goal of relaxing. Since then, I’ve strived to live a more balanced, mindful, and meaningful life.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Therapy has been a game changer, and I wouldn’t be where I am today without therapy.

However, it wasn’t simply attending sessions that made the difference. Instead, it was reviewing my goals and deciding which ones I wanted to work toward, figuring out how to turn them into a reality, and asking for help as soon as I got stuck.

As a recovering workaholic, learning to rest and relax has also been a game-changer. I used to skip family functions and time with friends to work. Now, I schedule my work around my travels and am constantly planning my next trip with my family.

Speaking of which, I wouldn’t be where I am today without my community, which includes my family, my friends, and my professional network of peers. You cannot and should not go through this life alone. Find people who have been in your shoes and learn from them.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I am proud to share my lived experiences with others to inspire change, and I am thankful to be surrounded by people who have been supportive and uplifting when I share my mental health experiences.

That said, I do recall a hurtful experience I had in college shortly after being diagnosed with anxiety and OCD. After finishing a therapy session, I met a then-friend for lunch. She asked where I was coming from, and I nonchalantly mentioned therapy. She proceeded to ask if I was “crazy” and whether it was safe to be around me.

While I had the courage and knowledge to educate her about mental health, the words still stung and have stuck with me to this day. They motivated me to write my dissertation on the mental health experiences of college students.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I know it’s easier said than done, but please don’t be afraid to ask for help if you are struggling. You are not alone, and it gets better. There are people out there who have been where you are and who want to help you.

When you’re going through a difficult time, it can be difficult to remain hopeful. However, please know that recovery is possible, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. You’ve got this!

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist: This book required me to face my perfectionist tendencies head-on, sit with the discomfort, and begin to work through the difficult feelings.
• On Being with Krista Tippet: This podcast series has tons of timely topics that give me a greater sense of meaning and make me feel more grounded in life.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can learn more about me at CaffeinatedKyle.com or on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Navigating Anxiety and OCD With Therapy, Social Support, and Trips to Disneyland! appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hello there everyone, I’m Bob Taylor. I live in the great “mitten” state of Michigan. I am originally from Saginaw and now live in Kewadin on Torch Lake which is located in the northern part of the lower peninsula of Michigan. It’s a truly beautiful place on earth.

I have been very blessed in business and am the founder, sole owner, and CEO of Alliant Healthcare Group, which is an SDVOSB (Service-Disabled Veteran-Owned Small Business) medical device company headquartered in Grand Rapids, MI. We sell to VAs and military hospitals all over the world, in addition to civilian healthcare facilities.

I have been married to the love of my life, Sara, for thirty-six years and we have two amazing children who are now adults doing great things in the world. I also love being called Bumpa by my two grandchildren.

In addition to my family, my passion in life is helping other veterans find purpose, joy, and success after military service. I am now a very happy person and am grateful for every day.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

When I left active duty in 1992 shortly after Operation Desert Storm, I was very fortunate to land a great job working with my best friend from college as an R&D engineer for a medical device company. I had a great job, a supportive family, and by all appearances seemed well adjusted.

My struggle was with the hidden symptoms of PTSD. The stress of entrepreneurship with all its ups and downs was hard, but nothing had prepared me for what PTSD would eventually bring. 

I was a B-52 Navigator and flew eleven combat missions in Operation Desert Storm. Though I did not see hand-to-hand combat on the ground, I was haunted by thoughts of the destruction and harm the bombs caused, which led to extremely violent nightmares. They came about six months after I returned and went away as mysteriously as they started.

Even though the nightmares left me, the depression, irritability, and other PTSD symptoms did not. In actuality, the nightmares were not gone, just buried in my subconscious. They returned with a vengeance sixteen years later and that’s when drinking became my vice to help me fall asleep with the hopes of avoiding the terrors of the night. It didn’t work.

I didn’t realize how affected I was by this until this second phase of symptoms. My greatest regret in life is that I did not seek help until I had endured 16 years of struggle. I finally realized I couldn’t heal myself and I reached out to the VA (Veteran Affairs).

I have been through twelve years of therapy at the VA and an MDMA treatment specifically for veterans suffering from PTSD. At this point, I have improved immensely, and life has become joyful again.

I am eternally grateful for this and have written a book called From Service to Success to help other veterans and their families get through their struggles and come out the other side.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

One of the aspects of PTSD is depression and with depression comes irritability. Living with depression was like walking through molasses. Everything was more difficult, irritating, and unrecognizable. I knew something was in the way that needed to be cleared. It’s hard to be happy when you feel like that.

I was also irritable. You know that person in your family or at work that just irritates you? Well, I felt that way about almost everyone in my life. It was an internal torture and came out in ugly ways like yelling and swearing.

It was obvious to my family that I was struggling with something. I tried to internalize it, but it showed regardless. Their reactions to me should have been motivation to seek help sooner, but I was embarrassed and depressed and tried to fix it on my own.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Things went bad quickly at one point about 16 years following my combat experience. I couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares and the drinking wasn’t helping. Sleep deprivation can accumulate rapidly.

When I made the decision to get help from the VA, it took effort to get into the system, but the treatments helped me almost immediately. I was in pretty bad shape at the time. In a sleep study, my legs would jerk 270 times per hour. There’s no way I was getting any quality sleep. 

Simply making the decision to get help and then knowing I wasn’t alone to figure it out anymore, lifted the proverbial weight off my shoulders and brought relief. I took the initiative to change my life and I am proud of that.

I encourage others to do the same as often as I can. I struggled for almost two decades before getting help and I regret that. I wish I had done it sooner, but at least I did it. That’s why I want to spread the word to other veterans. So they don’t wait and suffer for years.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

The first step I took was admitting to myself and my wife that I had a problem that I needed outside help with. It meant becoming vulnerable, but it is not a sign of weakness. It is, without a doubt, a sign of strength to admit you need some help and then go to get it.

The next step was going to the VA and connecting with a therapist that I felt comfortable with. That’s really important. If you have a therapist that you don’t connect with or feel comfortable around, ask for another one. You will find the right person to help you and it makes all the difference in your healing journey.

When I knew I had found the right therapist for me, I said to her, “I will do anything you tell me to do. I will be the best patient you have ever had.” I stayed true to that, and it was worth it.

I’ve also quit drinking completely and I don’t regret it. In addition to that, I began daily gratitude practice. No matter what situation you are in, there is always something to be grateful for.

You can’t be miserable and grateful at the same time and being grateful feels a heck of a lot better! I also use many of the coping skills I learned in my therapy. I learned some amazing strategies that make living better.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

As I mentioned, I wrote a book to help other veterans struggling with PTSD or any aspect of transitioning from their military service. I’ve decided to share almost any aspect of my personal story, so I have completely given up my privacy at this point.

I have been interviewed, given speeches, done book signings, etc. I will talk to anyone about my experience if it helps them or someone they love. There is nobody that I do not feel comfortable talking to about my struggles now and I’m glad because when I am vulnerable, it lets people know they can be vulnerable too.

I didn’t feel this way right away, but it got easier every time and now it’s second nature. Of course, it was tough in the beginning. Anything new is because it’s unfamiliar. Each time I opened up, it became easier to do it the next time, and so on.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Don’t wait, seek help now! Your life is happening now, so don’t let precious years and relationships pass you by. What you do today affects your tomorrow and every day after that.

Each step forward is progress and better than being stagnant or, even worse, regressing. Your best days are not behind you, your best days are in front of you. So, take the action to create a joyful and successful future for yourself.

While you are moving forward, make it a priority every single day to find things to be grateful for. It’s everything and will keep you living, thinking, and feeling in an attitude of gratitude.

It might sound self-promoting, but I would advise people to read “From Service to Success” because it provides a roadmap for ways to constantly improve your situation.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Think and Grow Rich: This book helped me learn the law of attraction and how it works, which has helped me to create the life I want. 
• The Bible: Without my faith, I would be lost. I find inspiration, guidance, and lessons to lead me through my life.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me here, or on the following social media pages:

• Instagram.
• LinkedIn.
• Facebook.
• Twitter.
• Reddit.
• Youtube.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Story on Navigating PTSD and Helping Other Veterans Do the Same appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi! I’m Lacey Cottingham, and I live in Durham, North Carolina. (Which itself is in the United States of America.)

I am an outpatient (psycho)therapist. In my free time, I proofread sci-fi and fantasy books. If I don’t feel like reading, I crochet hats, scarves, and blankets.

Compared to before, my life is practically blissful. There are so many things I simply don’t think about or need to account for anymore. That freed-up mental space has given me room to grow a connection to my inner self, my environment, and the world around me. I actually feel safe.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Technically, the struggle started when I was born. But it didn’t become a problem until an unfortunate series of events in 3^rd grade. When I hear noises, they are just louder than most other people hear them.

When I was really young, my mom noticed that toilets flushing scared me, and the sound of the vacuum cleaner was panic-inducing. For unrelated reasons, my parents homeschooled me for a few years.

When I went to a charter school in 3^rd grade, my mom decided to take me and help out the teacher with normal classroom prep. (Write the names on the desks, sort the supplies, decorate.)

All of a sudden, the fire alarm goes off. It hurt. After a couple of minutes, it stops again, and the overhead PA announces that the fire marshall is testing all the alarm boxes.

My mom asked if I was okay to stay, I didn’t want to make her feel bad by leaving, so I decided to push through it. I’m not exaggerating when I say the alarms went on for 3 hours. We finished up our work, and I thought I’d never have to deal with anything like that again.

Well, two-ish weeks later I headed into school one day, and they announced there would be a fire drill. It hurt, I got through it and told myself it would only be a once-every-three-month thing. I hated them, but I dealt with it.

Fast forward to 4^th grade, and I’m thinking they won’t be doing them. They always used a secret code over the PA system. “Teachers, there will be a teacher-faculty staff meeting at 9. Please take your grade books with you.”

The first time I heard that phrase in my 4^th grade year, I felt this roaming dizziness start in my stomach and wrap itself around my chest. It was so bad that my classroom bully looked legitimately concerned for me. It was so bad, that I thought I could hear the fire alarms echo down the hall in micro-second increments.

But what made it really bad, was I leaped out of my chair, ran to the classroom door, and froze. I was legitimately stuck, locked in place. After what felt like 5 minutes, one of my classmates pushed me out of the doorway and popped my hand off the door frame. We got outside, and after a head count, were told to go back inside.

The principal came over to the PA and lectured the entire school about the importance of taking fire drills seriously and exiting the building in a timely manner. I was mortified. But the worst part was he said they had to repeat the drill. This time I flew just as fast out of my seat, but someone got to the door before me, so there was someone to follow and someone to guide me out the door.

For unrelated reasons, my family moved states, and I was homeschooled for a few years after that. In 8^th grade, I went back to public school. I remember being excited to have new friends until I heard someone in the main office whisper to another about whether they’d had the monthly fire drill or not. My skin went clammy and I told my mom I’d made a mistake. I wanted to go home and go back to homeschooling. She told me it was too late and I had to go back to school.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

The worst part was how teachers would look at me, but do absolutely nothing. As an adult I can empathize with them, but it still hurt. Three memories really stand out though.

A 4th-grade teacher looked at me with extreme concern as I asked really forcefully if we could go to recess early since I knew a fire drill would happen 5 minutes before recess started. She wasn’t scared of how I knew, she was scared of how scared I was. She knew something was up, but never actually asked me, never actually asked my parents (that I know of), and nobody, did anything.

The second and most worst moments did not happen until high school. In high school, I eventually got fed up with having hair-trigger panic attacks. I got tired of being tense during class, unable to really focus until 10 minutes into class, and not really feeling relief until I was on the side of the campus that had the “quiet” fire alarms.

I went to the guidance office, worked up the courage, and asked if I could leave the building early during fire drills. The guidance counselor said, rather quickly, absolutely not. I had an immediate panic attack and bolted out of his office.

I went to the stairwell and just sobbed. I texted my mom that he had said no. She ended up calling and then texted me to go back in. After getting the accommodations, things didn’t get as better as I’d hoped. My ears were safe, but the social aspect was still a problem. This led to the actual worst moment.

My high school was and still is directly across the street from a gas station. A girl was texting while driving back from lunch and crashed into a gas pump. (She survived. We saw her the next day at school.) This created a huge plume of smoke that blew onto campus.

The principal came over to the PA and announced there’d been a minor accident, and if the fire alarms went off to stay in class. I immediately bolted out of the classroom and flew down the 6 flights of stairs. I ran out of the building and began pacing around the courtyard, completely incoherent.

I glanced up and saw 6 or so classmates standing in the window, staring down at me. I kept pacing until my heart rate slowed down. Not a single person came down to see if I was ok. After 15 minutes and no fire alarms, I went back upstairs and back to my seat. No one said anything.

I felt so. Very. Invisible.

As weird as it sounds, I developed this skill. I could look at a teacher, or an assistant principal, and just know if we would have a fire drill that period. There would always be this tension in their eyes and their shoulders. While it was very helpful, it put my happiness and peace in the hands of others.

In college, it wasn’t better, per se. But having more control was better. My final internship for my undergraduate degree was at an adult care facility. I loved it. We did chair yoga, played (seated) balloon volleyball, had lunch, and played games with the participants.

However because there was a daycare onsite that received federal funding, monthly fire drills were required. After a very embarrassing series of begging and panic-induced moments, the director sat me down during monthly supervision and told me I had to get “it” under control.

He didn’t know what it was, and I was just barely coming to discover what it was. I never had “flashbacks” until that month, so I had escaped a formal PTSD diagnosis until then.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

When I graduated, I very promptly put the whole thing on the backburner and just lived for a while. For about 2 years I worked at a private group home, taught English to UNHCR refugees, and just played housewife.

It was great. I had peace. But I knew I needed to go back to graduate school to get my therapy license. The morning after my celebration of getting accepted into an MSW program, I woke up with a feeling of dread. Going back to school meant going back to fire drills.

I went online and decided to find a therapist. During high school, I had seen one briefly to set up accommodations, but I wasn’t ready to talk about the trauma. Now, I was.

I found a lovely therapist named Dawn. She took my insurance and her office was about 20 minutes from my house. I made a plan with myself that I’d let myself buy fancy coffee on the way to her sessions, something to hold and sip while going scary places mentally.

She introduced me to a therapy method called EMDR. It worked like a charm. My fear of loud noises evaporated, and part of the PTSD was cured. I ended up leaving very happy with her services.

After graduate school I realized the feeling of never being seen, never having someone at school ask or mention how not okay I was, and the sheer invisibility I felt had to be addressed.

I went back for more EMDR and was able to resolve that pretty quickly as well. Because that was a more complex and subtle trauma, it took a few months longer, but definitely less than a year.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

It was scary to know I had the same disorder that military veterans had, but it was also so immensely validating to have a name for what was happening.

There was a trial and error in finding the right people to tell. I didn’t have to find people who went through the exact same thing, but more people who struggled in the same area.

For me, that was people who struggled in school and people who didn’t like being in noisy environments. I never had someone with the same struggle, but people with similar struggles gave me the validation I needed in my healing journey.

One activity I enjoy doing is imagining I’m standing next to myself, thanking her for her strength, and when possible reminding her of how I have more power now than I did as a child.

In therapy, I was encouraged to thank my younger self for her strength, while also pointing out that the skills she learned (running, overanalyzing people) weren’t helpful anymore. I learned to let her drop some of the need to be on alert.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

At first, I didn’t share my diagnosis with people. The very first time I told someone outside of my parents, I saw this bit of life die in their eyes. I kept it to myself unless I absolutely had to, and even then, I usually only said “Oh I have sensitive ears, I’ve been to a doctor about it. They said….”.

I had one high school and one college professor I told, and I absolutely loved how they reacted.

The high school teacher reacted with such warmth and love that I just melted. It was so nice. She never told anyone, but she apologized for not seeing it sooner. I really feel like my 4th-grade self got her healing from that teacher.

My college professor, I told him after people kept using the emergency escape door to leave class. It would produce this loud sharp whine. I told him about it, and he started the next class by loudly announcing the door was off-limits.

The first time a student tried to use it, he very firmly chewed them out over it. (And he did so, without saying who or what the medical disorder was. Only that the person was harming someone’s medical disorder!)

Once I was fully healed of PTSD, I did start sharing my journey a little more openly with friends and family. In my day job, I very rarely share it with my clients. I have to judge if the disclosure would be helpful to them, or if they’d perceive it as a “pain olympics”. But I’m not ashamed of it.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Go to therapy. While EMDR is great, nowadays I recommend Internal Family Systems or Ego State Therapy. They won’t get rid of you not liking loud noises, or having sensory issues, but the removal of the panic makes it so much easier to get back to your life after something startles you. It makes you less alert and hypervigilant for threats.

I want anyone reading this to know that there are hundreds of thousands of people in the USA that had big scary events happen, that created PTSD, and hundreds of thousands that had big scary events that didn’t. The same thing can happen to two people, but the one who came away hurt isn’t less of a person/adult/strong simply for getting injured.

There’s a really old saying, “The same water that softens the potato, hardens the egg.”

And if you’re still struggling, or not able to access help yet, I’m proud of how well you’ve made it so far.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Tapping my hands back and forth on my chest (“Butterfly tapping”) or going on a short sprint. You can look up the effects of Butterfly tapping. Going on a run is especially nice because it tricks my body into thinking I’ve outrun the threat.
• For anyone who has PTSD in 2023, this is the therapy method I would use. This YouTube video does a great job of explaining it.
• EMDR is still a great and well-researched therapy method, you can learn more about it here. You can use eye motion like I did, or you can use pulsing vibrators that you hold in your hands.
• When out in a loud noisy social situation, set a timer and give yourself permission to leave when the timer goes off. Mine was usually an hour and a half. That was long enough for the house party host to feel you care but short enough to not drain me the next day.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

I’m trying out the idea of writing more professionally about the intersections of neurodivergence and PTSD. If you’ve resonated with my experience, you’re welcome to follow me on LinkedIn.

If you live in North Carolina and want to start your therapy journey, you can find me here. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Story of Navigating Noise-Induced PTSD and Recovering With EMDR Therapy appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Elijah Meason. Currently, I am a certified peer Support Specialist in the State of New Mexico. I am about to marry an amazing woman and as of this moment, my life couldn’t be better. 

Because of the struggles I have been through, I have dedicated my life to helping others in similar situations. I am working on obtaining my master’s degree and running an organization called MHAPSS that is dedicated to the development of peer support workers everywhere. 

Overall, I would say that today, I am happy.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I was diagnosed with depression and PTSD and that was on top of having a drug and alcohol addiction that consumed the better part of 16 years. 

As for how it all got started, well… 

My family life growing up was a little chaotic, to say the least. Drugs and alcohol were common place and I was constantly moving around. That’s not to say that my parents were using in front of me, just that it was fairly obvious as to what was going on.

Because of this, I actually grew up attending AA meetings and was introduced to “recovery” pretty early on. Even so, I would go on to spend 16 years in an alcohol and drug-induced nightmare that almost consumed my life. 

Irony at its finest. 

I set my world on fire at a young age. Drinking, getting high, and late-night adventures terrorizing the city streets were part of daily life for a long time. How I never got expelled from school is anyone’s guess. Especially considering that I had an ambulance called on me midday during class because of an overdose. 

However, my brush with death in front of the entire school did not deter me from continuing to self-destruct. In fact, it only added to my over-the-top ego and made me think I was invincible.  

At age 17 my mother took her own life and things went from bad to worse. No longer was I just a teenage rebel looking for thrills, I was running. Running from pain, running from uncertainty, and mostly running from myself.

I no longer wanted to feel so I turned to any chemical I could get my hands on. Heroin, alcohol, and even over-the-counter medications.

You name it, I was on it.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Every decision I made was dictated by whether or not it would interfere with my drug use. I knew my life was a wreck but what I didn’t know was how much worse it was about to get. I started using a needle and for the next ten years, (queue the music montage) every day was a horrific blur of pain and destruction. 

Everything became engulfed in violence, deceit, and loneliness. There were some close calls with my life, countless nights in jail, and people overdosing all around me.

Still, it wasn’t enough. I soon graduated from petty crimes to felonies and I soon found myself on the run, living on the streets of Albuquerque, NM. I felt completely hopeless and that there was no way out of the mess I was in. 

Any reasonable person could see that I needed help, but a reasonable person I was not. In fact, things only continued to escalate until finally, the State of New Mexico decided to make that choice for me. I had been on the run for multiple felonies and stealing a candy bar was the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

Irony, my only friend. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I quickly realized that I was destined to spend the next few years wearing an orange jumpsuit, with plenty of time to think about what I had done. What I didn’t realize (at the time) was that it was probably saving my life. 

As fate would have it, I actually found myself in the company of several men who were trying to turn things around for themselves. To be sure, this isn’t always the typical experience for someone who finds themselves locked up. However, I am eternally grateful that it was for me. 

I will be honest and say, in the beginning, I wanted nothing to do with “recovery”. I was stubborn and thought I could manage things on my own. Besides, it had never worked for my mother, why would it work for me? 

The way I saw it, recovery was for people who were weak and I didn’t need any of that cheesy nonsense in my life. 

I had a heart filled with resentment and rage. More than that, the dark shadow of my past still haunted me, and it was all I could see. However, with nothing but time, I was forced to finally face the demons I had been trying to ignore all those years. 

Everything changed with one question, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?”. I had to decide, Did I want to hold on to the anger, pain, and hatred that had taken over? Did I want to take this path to the grave? Or was I willing to try something new?

So in that cell, with a scratched-up sink, metal toilet, and cinder block walls, I decided to sit down and for once in my life, listen. 

I wanted to be happy. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I learned mindfulness and meditation first. Although I was skeptical, I figured I had nothing left to lose. Little did I know, I was about to gain everything.

By chance, I found an old book that described Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and started incorporating these new skills into my mindfulness practices. 

Overcoming these challenges was no easy task. That being said, I practiced mindfulness and the skills I was learning in everything that I did. More than that, I incorporated tools from CBT such as the ABC tool, cognitive reframing, and keeping a thought record. 

Once again, irony steps into my life. All the stuff that I thought was cheesy, useless, and a complete waste of time… It worked. 

To say that it worked, I don’t mean that I am cured or that I never have difficult moments. Rather than through mindfulness and the skills from CBT, I am able to manage any symptoms I do experience. I’ve learned to be aware of how my thoughts influence my emotions and catch them before I get carried away. 

More than that, I have learned not to run from painful emotions. Mindfulness has allowed me to accept them and feel what I am feeling in the moment. I’ve come to understand that emotions are not the enemy. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

As a peer support worker and future drug and alcohol counselor, I am very open about my struggles. In fact, I have found that the more open I am about all of it, the less power it holds in my life.  

Obviously, this approach may not be for everyone. But, I think that speaking our truths is not only our own path to freedom but it helps change the stigma around mental health and addiction. Each time we tell our story, it helps shift the perspective toward empathy and compassion.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Accepting help was the turning moment in my life and it’s my recommendation for anyone struggling with mental health or addiction challenges.

More importantly, I recommend being open to the process. I’ve realized that sometimes our idea of getting better may be different from how it actually works. 

This is what kept me stuck for so many years. 

Having a therapist guide you through this process can make it easier to grasp. I’ve realized that now.

One thing to remember. 

Just because something works for one person, doesn’t mean it will work for another. Finding what works for you is the key to better mental health. Be open to new possibilities and look for wisdom in the most unexpected of places.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• As far as mindfulness goes, the book that started it all for me was Search Inside Yourself: The Unexpected Path To Achieving Success, Happiness, (And World Peace) by Chade-Meng Tan. This book broke things down in a way that was easy to understand. More than that, it was fun. The ideas, concepts, and exercises are presented in such a way that anyone can connect with them.
• For CBT I would recommend the book Mind Over Mood by Dennis Greenberger, Ph.D. This book presents CBT in an accessible way and provides worksheets and explanations to back up what is discussed. It gives a step-by-step process that guides you through the tools needed to change your thinking. 
• Alternatively, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Made Simple: 10 Strategies for Managing Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Panic and Worry by Seth Gillihan, is another great book. 

That being said, the most important thing is to find what works for you. 

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can learn more about me at one of two places:

• mhapss.com – to learn about me and the work I am doing to help others struggling with mental health and addiction.
• streetsober.com – to read more about my chaotic life in addiction.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Accepting Help and Mindfulness Became the Turning Point in My Life appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Catherine (Cat) Nguyen and I’m originally from New York City (Long Island, Queens, and Manhattan), but moved to San Francisco when I was 29 to pursue a career in photography.

After attending the Academy of Art University for a BFA in commercial and advertising photography, I started my business in San Francisco. Eventually, I became specialized in interiors and architecture, a passion of mine. 

While in San Francisco, I met my now husband on Match in 2005. We share our loves of good food, travel, art, and architecture. 

It has been a difficult journey; one that still has its ups and downs, but I would say I am happy now. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I have struggled with depression, PTSD, and at times anxiety over the course of many years. I believe I was undiagnosed with depression since childhood. I don’t remember the exact date that it started, but I do remember always feeling a heavy weight upon me.

We are an immigrant family from Vietnam. My father was very strict and believed in corporal punishment when we were young. He was moody and often had issues with anger management. I believe all of this contributed to my depression.

In 2009, I was working for a Canadian hospitality content company photographing hotels and casinos in the Pacific Northwest as well as throughout the Midwest. I had been on the road for months – three to be exact – without coming home. It was a blur of cities and towns changing every day. I was overworked and exhausted.

One morning in September when I had about 2 weeks left on this trip, I became violently ill. I had been subsisting mostly on iced lattes, chain-smoking, and little food. I was photographing common areas in hotels and casinos. It was the time of H1N1. I was diagnosed on the phone by a friend who is a doctor.

I spent two days in the hotel room without food in bed before my then-fiance called his parents and they set up a plan to come retrieve me from Indiana. I stayed with them in Michigan for a week before flying home to San Francisco.

When I got home, I was burnt out and severely depressed. I couldn’t get out of bed for a long time. My fiance took me for walks, helped me bathe, and brought me bland foods. With the help of my psychiatrist and therapist, I was able to get on a course of therapy and medication that finally helped to bring me out of my major depressive episode. I wasn’t truly fully functional again until some time in 2011.

That was by far the worst episode of depression I’ve encountered in my life, however, my mood does cycle over the course of time. I had a recurring history of being able to be super productive for long bouts then crashing and staying in bed for weeks at a time. The cycle repeated throughout the course of my 20s and into my 30s.

It has been a tough journey at times. When I am ok, I am often worried about when the other shoe will drop and the depression will return. With the help of a great local therapist, I have been able to develop tools to help better deal with downturns when they occur. 

I can go for long periods at a time feeling well and stable then something will either trigger me or my meds will stop working and need to be tweaked. I have learned to embrace that all things change. That the depression won’t last forever.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Depression is interesting to me. I haven’t experienced unhappiness so much as numbness. When I am depressed, it is painful and I retreat, which in turn makes it worse. My happiness seems but a dream from another time.

When things are at their worst, I am anxious about the smallest of things: going to the store, answering emails, picking up the phone, taking a shower, walking around the block, and trying to connect with loved ones. When depressed, I feel a lack of self-confidence. I beat up on myself. There is also an aspect of disconnection on all levels – from myself and others. 

I always tried to hide it and put up a good front. That takes a lot of energy. I don’t know what people knew. I am sure some suspected, while others just thought I was a flake who couldn’t follow through.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

There was no single moment when I felt better. It was a long road filled with lots of psychiatrists tweaking my medications and therapy – often twice a week. I even found an online support group for other people with depression.

I met another woman who is a decorative painter in another state and we struck up a friendship. She had already come out of her dark place and so was wonderful to message with as she gave me hope that I could get there as well.

The changes were definitely a result of my actions and perseverance. I didn’t give up though there were times when I wondered if the semi-catatonic state I was in would ever change.

The struggle in 2009 lasted until some time in 2011. There was no one thing that turned it around. Rather, lots of therapy and medication changes finally made the difference.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I strongly encourage that if you are struggling with depression you should seek out a licensed therapist and also perhaps look into a psychiatrist to manage medication. It can be discouraging to try so many different medications before finding something that works for you without severe side effects, but in the end, it is worth it.

What really helped me in therapy was learning that I should not isolate and push people away when things get tough. That was my natural inclination for years. “Who would want to talk to someone who has nothing to add to the conversation?” would often run through my head as justification. It was the depression talking.

Those who love you will support you. They may not always know what to say or even try to “solve” your problem, but their love is sincere. Take that and hold it within yourself. Let them know when things aren’t great so they know to maybe just check in with you.

It helps to know someone is thinking of you. What also helped me was consistency. I went to therapy and did the work every single week. Even when I felt I had nothing to say.

I also learned that despite whatever stigmas still exist about mental health, sharing that you aren’t well normalizes the story not only for yourself but also for others. It helps take away the shame of feeling like something is wrong with you. It eases away the isolation.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

At first, I only spoke with my best friend, a cousin, my siblings, and my significant other about my struggle. And even then, my boyfriend in my twenties did not understand my depression.

Now I am able to share with those around me when things aren’t going well. I find that it helps them to understand that I need some grace and patience during those times as well as whatever support they can provide. I haven’t felt comfortable speaking about my struggles with colleagues. I feel that this interview will help me with that.

At first, I didn’t fully understand my struggle, so I couldn’t talk about it. I also have a lot of pride and always wanted to be seen as strong. I felt like admitting I had mood struggles made me weak. I was ashamed in some way.

It’s deeply rooted in some cultural shame about mental illness as well as years of my father saying things like, “Now I have three crazy children,” and “Depression is an illness of first world countries.” Even though I didn’t agree with him and understand he has a limited understanding of mental health issues, it stuck with me.

I did not feel comfortable talking about my struggle with my parents. I am not close to them and my dad says unhelpful things like the above. I also did not feel comfortable sharing with anyone at work. I always put on a face. I wanted to be seen as competent and strong.

I did not feel it was ok to show that I had any weakness. Especially since I left home at 16 and was usually working with colleagues much older than myself. I didn’t want to give any reasons for someone to hold something against me.

As time has progressed and I’ve realized that sharing my mental health struggles actually helps keep me from getting worse and spiraling inward, it’s gotten easier to share with others. I think this interview is a huge step in being more open about what I’ve been through and continue to have to manage on a daily basis.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

You are not alone. Reach out to those who love you. Do not shut others out for fear of shame.

I wish I had known that it was ok not to shoulder the burden myself. I would have escaped the burden of carrying it all alone for years.

A last bit of advice: Give yourself grace. The kind that you would give to your loved ones. Those suffering with mental health often forget that they deserve kindness.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• “Touched with Fire: Manic-Depressive Illness and the Artistic Temperament” by Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison: My brother was diagnosed with bipolar I in his sophomore year of college. I was familiar with depression but outside of my understanding of bipolar. This book helped me to understand what he was going through much better.
• “Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS” by Shirzad Chamine: I am in a coaching group on Positive Intelligence now and this book has been super helpful in pinpointing my saboteurs and helping me train my brain to overcome them.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me on my site, or find me on Instagram @catnguyenphoto, and @Catherine Nguyen Photography on Facebook.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Navigating Depressive Episodes With Social Support, Therapy, and Perseverance appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Anything else I should have asked?

Hello! Who are you?

I live in London right now to study neuroscience. I am from another country in Asia and studied physics for a few years there but my mental illness guided me to this career change and I am grateful for that.

I have been estranged from my mother for years, but now I have recovered from the past relationship before the disease. I am single now and became more open to the potential of a relationship recently.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I innately have Autism Spectrum Disorder and had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to sexual assault when I was a freshman at University. After the first traumatic episode, I tried to forget it at all because it was too confusing about why the offender did so and what I should do. I succeeded and could forget it for a year. 

However, a similar episode happened again after a year and PTSD started off. (Yeah, I heard delayed PTSD can be more severe than a normal one.) I was a very docile person who has never resented before PTSD, but it just changed me entirely.

I started to hate all people in the world because I felt betrayed due to no help from passer-bys in the trauma. I got angry whenever I talked with a man and could not control the anger with auditory hallucinations ordering me to fight them. 

I abruptly bursted into anger and insulted my male friends. When they asked me out, my face was distorted with contempt and out of my control. (It is a sort of dissociation, I heard from a psychologist later.) They were embarrassed, but I was embarrassed more. I started to avoid men and the place where I can face many strangers not to get into my uncontrollable anger burst. 

Even when my mother touched my shoulder, I felt it was dirty and got angry for her getting me to remind the trauma. I suffered nightmares about getting raped every night and felt somatized heartache and headache. I also thought the reason why SA happened to me was because I look like a pushover. I started to imitate others to break my SA even if I felt empty indeed. 

However, I did not know it was PTSD at that time. Because I was a Christian without any psychiatric knowledge, I thought I was being punished by God due to a lack of faith like King Saul in the bible because it was the only similar psychotic symptom that I read in the bible. 

Also, I became angry about why God did not protect me. To get forgiveness and healing from God, I attended church more passionately, but the symptoms did not get better, and I got more angry with God. I remember I kept pursuing that strategy for two years after the start of PTSD. 

The Christian friends had no psychiatric knowledge at all because in my country, it was not common to get psychiatric treatment and they thought psychiatric treatment is satanic, so they did not give helpful advice, only scolding me about my bad speech and behavior, suggesting me to forgive the offender as said in bible, which was impossible for me at that time. I noticed an increase in anger whenever I went to church, so I stopped religious activity, then.

When I met a non-christian friend, I heard that she is taking psychiatric medicine due to depression and it improved. It was the first time I got to know about mental illness and I went to a psychiatrist. 

However, the psychiatrist was a man, so I did not talk about SA as I learned that talking about my trauma to a man gets me unpleasant responses through a few trials with my male friends and professors. I got diagnosed with depression and then bipolar disorder. Anyway, the medicine decreased my suicidal ideation, so it was better to live with. I think I kept taking the medicine for two years.

After two years, there was a feminist trend with the #MeToo movement in my country. From the movement, I could hear stories of other survivors of sexual assault PTSD. After searching about it, I got to know it was the PTSD symptoms that I was suffering from since the sexual assault.

However, treatment for PTSD was not that common at that time in my country, so I did not get special therapy for PTSD. I just read and heard their stories over and over, and I started reading a book about PTSD (I will specify this in the book section).

After graduating from university, I wanted to leave the city where I suffered a lot. I thought it would end if I leave this place which is full of triggers. Thus, I went to another city. It was refreshing and I became free of triggers and symptoms for a while.

However, with the appearance of a trigger which was a male colleague’s simple comment, the same as the offender gave me in the trauma, “Shall we go out for some drink?”, it started again…I cried remembering what the offender did to me and how my friends and family did not take care of me in the hardship. I could not suppress tears even at work, so I wept in the toilet. 

Whenever I met men, I could not help but be jealous of them for their superior safety over women. I needed to meet other people who can understand all these weird things. (I will continue this in the turning point section.)

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Before PTSD, I was a bookworm and loved to be alone. Especially I loved every novel. After getting PTSD, I realized that every book include romantic scenes, and I felt somatic pain in my body when I read a conversation between lovers. I could not read any novel anymore.

Even if it does not have the scene, I did not know if it would include it so I could not try it. I had spent my days only reading books before PTSD, so after losing the hobby, I did not know what to do anymore. Also, I became scared of being alone because I had no confidence to handle situations of SA if it occurs again.

Even when I was in my room, I thought some man might penetrate my room, so I became very nervous when I was alone. To avoid being alone, I started to make as many friends as possible. But I could not truly like them. It was weird but I could not trust the people I met after PTSD, but I had no other options, so I met them, suppressing horror and hatred toward them, and before any explosion of emotions, I would block their contact. 

I lost all of my friends I made before PTSD due to a dispute over my talk about it, the average period to keep a friend was about a year. They did not understand my PTSD, and I felt betrayed thinking about poverbs ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’. I thought there was no friend indeed among my friends. My personality, hobby, and lifestyle changed, so I felt I did not know who I am anymore. Even my friends and teachers meeting me after PTSD told me that I changed a lot and they liked me before PTSD. I hated hearing that. I myself liked the past either, but there was no option to go back because I was too horrified to keep myself.

I don’t know why but I was always thinking about killing others after PTSD when I was doing nothing. Sometimes, I imagined putting up a fire or a battlefield and shooting others to protect me. Also, I imagined killing the offender recklessly, which cannot come true as I cannot find out the offender due to the removal of his information after the incident. It made me feel triumpant, so I thought it was good for me. Looking back on it now, I think it only strengthened my ‘fight or flight response’, which is core mechanism of PTSD, but worsened my anxiety.

Actually, I talked about the trauma to everyone I met at first. I was always thinking that as an ASD person, I could not care about others being uncomfortable with talking about it. However, there were no friends and family to understand my situation and feelings. As an ASD person, I was gullible when SA happened, so they could not understand why I fell for the offender’s evident lie.

Also, they could not understand why I was holding on to the memory continuously. I felt as if they liked me when I was happy but they abandoned me as I became a burden. I thought it was just the same with the offender who used me for his own merit. It made me despise all of them. 

I thought this intense hatred of ‘people who were intimate before trauma’ was because my trauma is related to a lying person, but I found it is a general symptom of any PTSD. I think it is more related to the defense mechanism of the body. I could not feel any sympathy or trust in people. 

Before PTSD, my mother was the person the closest to me, but when I said about SA experience and PTSD, she did not consoled me. She just wanted me to let it pass and focus on my study. I felt betrayed by her and after getting to know PTSD, I thought if she emotionally supported me, my symptom would not be this serious and long. I thought the PTSD was partly due to her. I started to fight over it. Whenever I could not put up with the anger, I called and sweared her over and over. After the anger goes away in few hours, I regreted and said sorry but when it is triggered, I could not stop doing it again. After a few years of PTSD this quarrel, I broke the relationship with her. I broke up with all my friends due to feeling betrayed. All of these broke my heart. I thought that if it did not happen, I could have lived not knowing they were traitors. I tried many talk therapy, but I could not trust the therapist either and just wanted to end the session.

Also, some of them could not understand my situation at all. Looking back on it, I think after talking about the trauma, the person I talked about it with also became a trigger of PTSD, and it made me uncomfortable to be with them too.

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Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Right after knowing that my illness is PTSD, I started to read a book about PTSD as my past hobby was reading a book. I read many books about PTSD, and some of their anecdotes triggered my trauma, but they let me know I am not alone to suffer these symptoms.

Also, I tried applying the exercises in the workbook, such as setting boundaries for my body and pain exposure. I tried to see romance and erotic movies to get over somatization when seeing skinship. As the book said, I started with a very mild one and go into a full erotic one.

Although it made me keep sober seeing that kind of movie or novel, I still avoid romantic videos and novels if I can. It is unpleasant even after overcoming it. Also, it gave me confidence that I can overcome my hardship by my effort, which I have never experienced even before PTSD.

I tried participating in group counseling with other survivors of sexual assault which I could not try easily because I could not trust strangers easily after the trauma and thought it would break my heart again because even friends and family gave second attack about the trauma. But I felt it was almost mysterious.

I felt as if I am hearing my story from others’ mouths. No friend or family understood my symptoms before then, so it was a very touching moment. I feel like I was a normal human, not a psycho or monster, for the first time after PTSD. It gave me a sense of reality back. Seeing people who are overcoming similar experiences, I could get the confidence to overcome it.

Nevertheless, due to Covid, I could not have a steady meeting with them, I kept contact with them through mobile chatting. I got information that there is a special therapy for PTSD from one of the survivors, so I went to the counselor she recommended me.

I started Pain Exposure therapy and Dialectical Behavior Therapy with a specialist in PTSD. At first, I was so scared to start talk therapy because I had the memory of failed therapy with a non-specialist in PTSD, but the survivor said it improved her a lot, so I started this. First, PE therapy treated the trauma intensively. Before PE, I thought the trauma became my everything and I cannot help but burst into tears when I say about the episode.

After PE, the trauma became normal memory and I can remember it without getting upset. I think DBT was not that effective for me. I had difficulty getting group counseling with strangers and could not focus on meditation due to intrusive thoughts. After all, the therapy for PTSD redirected me to focus on my goal, not my past and trauma. I could start anew thanks to the therapy.

After getting therapy, I could dream of life after PTSD, but I could not trust anyone yet and had chronic anxiety. I gave up any relationship with others because nobody would entirely understand my PTSD, which was the critical reason of the most of my present traits and decided to live only for my accomplishment without trust toward others to protect me from any harm.

By chance, I found a church that is more accepting of mental illness. I got to know that God was protecting me to let me escape from the offender. It gave me a peaceful mind for the first time after SA. 

Later, I read that spiritual recovery, which means going back to a worldview that I felt safe with before PTSD, is crucial in perfect recovery from PTSD. I could forgive my family and friends who did not console me in my struggle, and I could forgive the offender in the end.

It seems impossible but to protect others from his SA, he should become a better person, so I could pray for him. My fear and hatred toward others disappeared now. I feel I became the person I was before PTSD or better than before.  

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I think there is a sequence of steps to get recovery from PTSD, as many PTSD books explain. We should accept, soothe the trauma, and get back into life, which cannot be done before doing the previous step.

1. Meeting others in your shoes

In my case, it helped me recover a sense of reality hearing my struggle from others’ voices. Also, seeing others overcoming it stopped me from thinking that it is unsurmountable trouble. In addition, other survivors gave me useful tips and information like good counselors for PTSD.

2. Giving up going back to the state before PTSD

PTSD patients get changed to survive panic and trauma in every aspect of their identity. Missing my past self made me more frustrated and suicidal. Happiness does not have one way. Knowing that I could be happy in other forms and personalities either gave me more relief.

3. Starting therapy for PTSD with a counselor specialized in PTSD

If you don’t have money, try exercises in workbooks for PTSD, but I think meeting a counselor specialized in PTSD therapy is crucial for the success of therapy. I could dream of my life after PTSD because it made my trauma normal memory. It is not my core memory or my everything anymore. I could dream of my life after PTSD again.

4. If you had a religion and took it apart after PTSD, restart religious work

I think it made me feel safe as I felt before PTSD. Chronic anxiety and response to triggers disappeared after this. I also could stop hatred toward others which was strategy to protect myself. I avoided Christians due to the scar they gave to me, but going back to church was essential for my full recovery.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I talked about my SA and PTSD to everyone whenever I could when I was struggling badly. However, sharing it with men gave me bad memory that they cannot understand why it is a bad thing at all, so I did not share it with men. I don’t think it gave me useful tips or a heart-warming console when I shared it with people who do not have PTSD or knowledge of PTSD. 

After recovery, I try to avoid mentioning it unless someone is struggling with the same experience because I now know it only makes them embarrassed and uncomfortable. Especially, in the workplace, I don’t want them to evaluate me for my mental illness and be too ashamed to reveal my weakness.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

The fact that the offender deemed you as a toy does not mean you are a toy. When your symptoms are very bad, you are likely to misunderstand others’ intention and be unable to control your emotions, so I think it is good to take a rest from social interaction for a while. 

Don’t indulge in fake victory in your imagination. You didn’t need to win the offender at the incident, but you just need to escape from it. If you succeeded in taking your life from the incident, you did well. Don’t hate yourself for the trauma.

The path to happiness is not a single one. There are many ways to be happy so the impossibility to turn back time before trauma does not mean you can never be happy. You can be happy again. You can trust others again. Don’t lose your hope to survive. Someday, you will be thankful for your past self who did not give up your life.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• The Body Remembers by Babett Rothchild: It gives an explanation of PTSD from a biological viewpoint. I could understand my body’s response to triggers. Also, I could practice pain exposure exercises from the book, and it helped me overcome my phobia of men.
• Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman: It describes what is PTSD descriptively and gives how recovery can be done gradually. It was a very accurate book, looking back on my ten years of PTSD recovery.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

It’s good to know what I have learned from my mental illnesses.

I think I learned many things from struggling with mental illness. I could be matured with this in a way I could not expect before PTSD. Before PTSD, I dreamed to be a hikikomori just reading books in my room without any social interaction. I was uncomfortable being with others even though I did not hate them (closer to scared to talk with them). Right after the start of PTSD, fear about SA made me courageous in all other things. 

I could talk and make a friend with others without hesitation. Also, I could have experienced overcoming my limitation in my effort to recover from PTSD. It gave me confidence that I can do something beyond my current ability.

In addition, by sharing our struggle with other SA PTSD survivors, I felt a bond and gratitude for others I have never felt before because I haven’t been understood PTSD at all for 7 years, feeling like a monster. I want to help other survivors. I am now dreaming to help other mentally-ill patients and SA PTSD survivors with neuroscience research. Now I don’t want to go back to the time before PTSD.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

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Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My 10-Year Journey of Overcoming PTSD and Hatred After Sexual Assault appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Ron Blake. I’m quite a bit more than the trauma I experienced. 

I was born in Gary, Indiana, and raised with four siblings in suburban Chicago. I’ve run five marathons and graduated with an MPA from Indiana University. And during that one pretty cool summer I spent in Beverly Hills, I worked for the actress Sandra Bullock. I’m married and now residing and working in Phoenix, AZ as an artist and writer. 

Independence and creativity are the foundation I use for my happiness. Despite the mental and physical pain I still experience from all the bad stuff I went through.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

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What is your struggle and when did it start?

I was diagnosed with PTSD following a brutal rape days before Christmas in 2011. Three men entered my home one night while I was sick and asleep. I was held down, raped, and beaten. They nearly killed me.

I struggled badly with my mental health for so long. As well as requiring surgery, many years of extensive physical therapy, and lots of PTSD counseling.

My situation was exacerbated by something else. I was diagnosed with dissociative amnesia. It caused me to be unable to remember most; if not all of the rape, for about two years after the trauma.

If you’ve ever watched the riveting Jason Bourne series of action-thriller movies, then you likely already have a good idea of what this condition is. 

The Jason Bourne character played by actor Matt Damon spends most of the time trying to uncover just who he is and what happened to him in the past. To understand what impacted him so badly in his present life. 

It is a condition that occurs as a result of experiencing severe trauma. It occurs in only about 1% of the population. Thus, it is not often understood. 

That is my story. I had to remember over time just exactly what happened on that fateful night. Being awakened to the rape. The beatings. The harrowing 911 call I made as the rape was still occurring. Nearly being pushed off that 7th-floor balcony as I waited for help to arrive.

It will never completely leave me. PTSD is one of those chronic illnesses. You find ways to successfully manage it for the rest of your life. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

One of the three men involved in this brutal crime against me had been my partner for almost a decade. It was an incident of domestic violence too. I shared more details of what happened in this interview.

Explaining the additional challenges I faced knowing someone I had loved for so many years could have betrayed me. Being involved in something so heinous like this.

Shortly after the trauma, I started to isolate myself from the world. Experiencing anger with just about everything and everyone. Those closest to me sensed something was wrong. I knew something was wrong. But I was not able to identify what it was. Nor could anyone else. I continued to spiral out of control.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

An unexpected moment of laughter from a late-night comedy show stopped me from suicide at 10:44 pm on November 2, 2015. That spark of hope began my now eight-year 64,000-mile cross-country journey to become a guest on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

It just sort of happened. What helped me was to go out on what’s called the Hero’s Journey.

This is a literary theme that was made popular by the author Joseph Campbell many years ago. It involves having a disruption in your everyday life. Answering that call to action. Going out on an adventure to face your fears. Overcoming challenges along the way. Then coming back home transformed and triumphant.

This Hero’s Journey theme has been used in many classic movies such as Star Wars, The Lion King, and Harry Potter.

My disruption was that moment of laughter I had on that dark night. It was my call to action. To head out on a journey to reach that symbolic goal involving The Late Show in New York City.

Every day on my now eight-year odyssey, I have courageously spoken out as a blue-collar male rape survivor. Breaking down stigmas. No longer isolating from the world. Learning to process the trauma by talking about it. Being vulnerable with strangers. Them being vulnerable back with me.

Overcoming relentless challenges with the PTSD, surgery, and extensive physical injuries I suffered from the rape. Not giving up. Staying determined. Even though I’ve been repeatedly hunted down and threatened by those bad guys on my international journey. 

Meeting 32,259 strangers one by one on my travels who contributed colorfully written support on 496 giant foam boards for my 22,000 hours of effort to try and reach the symbolic goal of becoming a guest on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

Along the way, creating this massive display of artwork being featured in dozens of exhibitions, publications, and TV/radio news segments. Being signed to a contract as an author. Throwing out the 1^st pitch in front of 43,000 fans to represent the moxie of trauma survivors. 

Testifying before a Senate Judiciary Committee to pass a new law. Giving a TEDx talk and presentations at 28 colleges. Being the featured subject in an Emmy-nominated documentary about my innovative recovery journey. 

And coming back home transformed. To now share my triumphant story to inspire others struggling with challenges to head out on their very own Hero’s Journey.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Before beginning my adventure, I made a post on Facebook. For the very first time, I let all my family and friends know that I was raped.

I took a big chance doing that. I was born in Gary, Indiana, and was raised in the tough-as-steel neighborhoods along Chicago’s southeast side. I was not sure how my blue-collar pals would react to me sharing this. 

Would they see this as a sign of weakness? Talking about being raped…as a male. And opening up about my mental health struggles. 

I got an answer. My buddies and family responded with hundreds of supportive Facebook responses. They did not always use politically correct wording and did not talk to me like Dr. Phil. That did not matter. They were all there for me when I needed it. That’s what mattered. 

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

My piece of advice to give is this. And it comes in two parts as I will explain.

I have met those tens of thousands of strangers across all parts of the U.S. and Mexico during the past eight years. They have written the most incredible supportive stories on my 496 giant foam boards. Stories written in 94 languages with 27 Sharpie marker colors.

This massive collective story of laugh therapy will come with me to The Late Show when I do finally get invited. To help inspire millions of viewers who are struggling with mental health know two important things.

First: No one walks alone through the bad stuff we go through in life. The giant foam boards with those 32,259 vibrant stories demonstrate the abundant amazing support and love that’s out there for each one of us.

Second: Laughter is all around us. Even in our darkest moments.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

The best resource for me has come in 32,259 swashbuckling chapters. It is the book of love. Created from all those beautiful people I’ve met along my 64,000-mile adventure. 

Each person along the way that has shared their story of support back with me on my giant boards has influenced me. Keeping me motivated. Keeping me going toward that symbolic goal at 53rd and Broadway in NYC. And keeping me away from suicide. How cool is that!

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me here, or on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and YouTube.

Or just Google Ron Blake Phoenix. A lot will come up about my eight-year Hero’s Journey. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post From Surviving Rape and PTSD to Becoming A Story Of Inspiration And Determination appeared first on Tracking Happiness.