Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi! I’m Tiffany McGee, spirituality and relationship expert, and founder of Nomadrs — a popular site focused on spirituality, relationships, mental wellness, and lifestyle.

I consider myself a digital nomad and my website is completely inspired by my nomadic experiences around the world. Currently, I’m enjoying the beautiful landscapes and rich culture of Georgia, where I’m based for a few weeks.

Professionally, I run Nomadrs, write and edit articles, and communicate daily with my team of writers from all corners of the globe. Besides, I constantly engage with a global community that shares my enthusiasm for travel, spirituality, and wellness.

On the personal front, I’m in a long-distance relationship with my partner who lives in Austria. The distance can be challenging, but it’s also a testament to the strength and depth of our connection.

Back in Vienna, I’m the proud owner of three adorable poodles. They’re my fluffy bundles of joy, and although I miss them while traveling, they’re in the best hands with my partner.

Speaking of happiness, yes, I do consider myself a happy person. This lifestyle, the people I meet, the places I see, and the work I do—all of it contributes to a sense of fulfillment and joy in my life.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Two years ago, I received a diagnosis that reshaped my understanding of myself: major depression. Alongside depression, I also struggled with anxiety, burnout, and panic attacks, so it was sort of comorbid. 

The symptoms were diverse: feelings of sadness and hopelessness, physical exhaustion that didn’t improve with rest, and moments of intense, overwhelming anxiety that culminated in panic attacks. The problem was not only psychological – my hormones were out of balance as well.

Back then, I had a traditional 9-5 job. The stress from this job, coupled with a feeling that my life was just an endless cycle of work with no real fulfillment or balance, played a significant role in the onset of my depression. 

As time went on, these issues started to affect me more and more. Some days were slightly better and initially, I tried to brush them off as just stress or a temporary bad phase.

But as the months passed, it became clear that my condition deeply impacted my daily life, my work performance, and my relationships.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At my worst, the struggle with depression made me feel like I was stuck in a deep, dark place. Happiness seemed far away, and I was always in a bad mood. I wasn’t even trying to hide it — I just didn’t fully understand how bad it was. 

My friends and partner could tell something was wrong, especially with my constant moodiness and my health issues, like irregular periods. It was a tough time where I felt disconnected from everything, not really aware of how much I was actually struggling.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Now I realize that I had that moment. Back then, when I was dealing with depression, everything seemed so blurred, like I was looking at my life through a foggy window. 

But the moment of clarity came unexpectedly. It was during a particularly tough week when I hadn’t left my small apartment for days, and my living space was cluttered with unwashed dishes and unopened emails. 

I was sitting on the floor and aimlessly scrolling through podcasts that I hoped would lift my mood. It was one of those podcasts that made me realize my body was screaming for help.

If I remember correctly, it was one of the episodes from Christina The Channel on Spotify about amenorrhea (It’s a pity I stopped journaling and didn’t even make any kinds of notes. I felt at my worst so I couldn’t see how these reflections could affect me in the future). Anyway, it wasn’t as widely known, but something about an episode on dealing with stress and anxiety resonated deeply with me. 

I can’t say that listening to these podcasts actually improved my condition. But this process was indeed important to push me towards finally receiving professional help.

This podcast episode made me realize that my body and mind were more connected than I had ever thought. And it was a wake-up call to take my health more seriously.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I completely changed my daily routine and the way I understood the concepts of “health” and “well-being”. I’d like to discuss the main steps I took that may inspire others who deal with the same problem:

1) My first step was engaging in online therapy, as leaving home felt too overwhelming. My therapist played a crucial role in guiding me through this journey.

She encouraged me to undergo medical checkups, which led to getting my hormone levels checked and eventually starting on medication. This medical intervention, combined with therapy, laid the foundation for my healing process.

2) My therapist suggested me to join her mindfulness meditation practices. I joined her sessions, which were conducted in a small community setting.

This experience was more than just learning to meditate — it was about connecting with others who were on similar paths and finding hope in shared experiences. Being part of this group helped me to stay committed to the practice and provided a sense of belonging.

3) I tried to continue what was once my hobby — journaling. However, I found it to be rather challenging — focusing on writing was difficult. As a solution, I opted for video journaling.

I would record myself talking about my progress and feelings. Most of these videos are hard for me to watch now. They often involved tears and intense self-reflection. But these recordings were sort of like catharsis, they helped me process and release pent-up emotions.

4) I made a promise to myself to prioritize self-care. This meant resting when needed, indulging in simple pleasures like watching childhood movies, and easing up on previously strict rules around food and exercise.

I realized that being too restrictive wasn’t helping my recovery. Allowing myself these small liberties played a huge role in my overall well-being.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I felt quite comfortable sharing my experiences with those close to me, particularly my partner and friends. They were aware of all the details of my struggle. I chose not to share anything about my mental health struggles with my parents, though.

They weren’t living in the same country as me, and I didn’t want to add to their worries or stress them out. At that time, it seemed like the right decision to keep them out of the loop to protect them. 

However, as time passed and I began to understand and manage my mental health better, I opened up to them. Now, they know everything about my experience. 

Today, I don’t have any reservations about sharing my experiences. In fact, I believe it’s important to be open about mental health struggles. Working in the wellness niche, I feel it’s part of my responsibility to set an example for my readers. 

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

If someone finds themselves in a situation similar to what I experienced, my advice would be to listen to your body, not just your mind. Often, our bodies give us the first signals that something isn’t right.

It can be symptoms like exhaustion, changes in appetite, or sleep disturbances. Just don’t ignore them — they are often the key to understanding and starting to address deeper issues.

There were times when I was hard on myself, thinking I should be able to ‘snap out of it.’ But mental health doesn’t work that way. It’s a journey that requires time, care, and often, professional support. That’s why you need to be gentle with yourself.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Masterclass “Developing Your Personal Power” from Ideapod’s co-founder Justin Brown — I took this masterclass in the middle of my headline process. The main idea of it is to understand the subconscious patterns that often hold us back.
  It helped me identify and break free from limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns that were deeply ingrained in my psyche. I think this resource might be one of the reasons why my perspective toward mental wellness changed for good.
• Rudá Iandê’s shamanic Breathwork exercise — In the beginning, I was pretty skeptical about relaxation techniques and exercises widely available on the internet. But somehow, this one did make a difference.
  The instructor of this course is a shaman, Rudá Iandê, whose methods are deeply rooted in ancient wisdom yet perfectly applicable to modern life challenges. The breathwork sessions were therapeutic to me. I have to admit that he has multiple other resources (I tried 3-4 of them) and they still inspire and guide me.
• Huberman Lab’s Podcast — I’m sure it’s a familiar podcast to anyone who’s into mental health podcasts on Spotify. Listening to this podcast helped me gain a scientific perspective on mental health issues, including depression and anxiety.
  The episodes provided me with insights into how our brains work, the impact of stress and hormones on our mental state, and practical, science-backed strategies for improving mental health. This knowledge still inspires my content and advice on Nomadrs.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You’re welcome to explore my website, Nomadrs, where you’ll find a range of blog posts focusing on mental wellness, spirituality, and the digital nomad lifestyle.

You can also connect with me on social media for more personal updates and daily inspirations. Here’s the Facebook page of Nomadrs.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

I’d like to point out the importance of building a support network throughout my journey.

I believe that the role of a strong, understanding support system is invaluable, especially when you’re struggling with mental health issues. When you know that you have people who listen and provide encouragement, it can make a significant difference. 

My heartfelt advice to anyone feeling down or struggling is to reach out to someone. It could be a friend, a family member, a therapist, or even a support group.

Go ahead and simply share what you’re going through. Sometimes, just knowing that there is someone who listens and understands can bring immense relief and perspective.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Therapy and Medication Helped Me Overcome Depression, Anxiety and Burnout From Work appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, I’m Melissa. I live in Germany in an old farmhouse complex with 4 generations of my family. There’s me with my boyfriend and baby daughter. My parents and 94-year-old grandmother live in separate apartments next door.

I’m a passionate yoga teacher & used to be a full-time retail manager, but gave that up earlier this year (Aug 23) on my quest for further self-discovery, finding more work-life happiness, and fulfillment in life.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Burnout and adaptation disorder.

After being told I can’t have children I felt like I had failed in my natural life purpose. I didn’t really want children, I was more career-focused, but I would have at least liked to have had the choice.

I was a frustrated workaholic not knowing what I wanted in life so I clung to my job because that was always going forward. I was diagnosed with burnout for the first time in 2016. 

I ignored the symptoms. I was constantly questioning life, found it hard to find excitement in getting up and ready for the day, and constantly led fictive aggressive conversations in my head with my boyfriend, colleagues, family, and friends.

I thought it was normal, as we live in an overstimulated world where you never seem satisfied. I thought I was a spoiled brat, not being appreciative of life. I had everything: a relationship, a roof over my head, and a great job that just kept getting ‘better’, which made my inner conflict even worse. Why was I unhappy? 

After struggling with several miscarriages I started doing yoga, and little by little I started to gain clarity over my desires and feelings. Realizing my life was out of place, led to even more frustration.

I dug deeper into yoga only to find more clarity, but with the clarity also came anger and resentment. I didn’t feel respected in my relationship, making me cling to my workplace even more, because there I was a manager and people respected me.

But I was a people-pleasing manager, always putting myself last which was also a stressor, but I didn’t realize this until later. Sometimes you need to get rid of one blockage in order to reveal and become clear on the others. 

So one day I had the guts to dump my boyfriend after 17 years of manipulative belittling and dove into the arms of my now-boyfriend the very next day. I thought all my problems would be solved, but then my dissatisfaction with my job started to rise and got extreme over the years.

Thank goodness I became pregnant and stayed so this time, I stopped working as my pregnancy was at high risk, this gave me the chance to gain distance from my anger towards work. 

Knowing the old job was not at all family friendly nor was I feeling fulfilled by it. I began to take my yoga career more seriously (2021), helping people gain clarity as I did. It was not paying the bills, but I loved it and still do.

But the day I had to go back to work kept creeping closer, and so did my cortisol levels and anxiety attacks. So I decided to quit, become jobless, and be ashamed of failure once more.

The psychologist diagnosed me with an ‘adaptation disorder’ (2023) meaning that I can’t/or don’t want to adapt to my situation in the outside world.

This diagnosis was a slap in the face and simultaneously woke me up from living in denial. The constant urge to adapt myself to things that no longer suited me.

I still suffer from the old relationship and job I quit, as they accompanied me for such a long time in life leaving deep imprints in my behavior and thoughts. This mess is still slowly unraveling day by day.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I was struggling with panic attacks, eating unhealthy, and sleeping all day (so it would be over sooner) I’d cry myself to sleep at night and when I wanted to feel better I’d drown myself with alcohol until I passed out.

I spoke openly about all my problems to family and friends (but I tried to hide the alcohol problem). I was so often told to leave my relationship and my job, and indeed that was what I was longing to hear deep inside, but I was somehow attached to the toxic relationships. They had become my ‘safe zone’ – the unknown was more scary than staying with the pain.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

When I became pregnant and it stayed, It was a shock as I was told I’d never be able to have children due to chemotherapy I had at the age of 16. Suddenly I felt this urge to take action and get my life sorted out.

My life was no longer only about me. I realized clearer than ever that my workplace wasn’t going to work with a family. I started to feel lost and needed a plan.

At the same time, I was afraid to lose the child, and looking for an online course (Corona Limits at the time, 2021), a guide through pregnancy with yoga included. I couldn’t find one to suit my needs so I decided to become a prenatal yoga teacher myself. 

This was when the idea was born to teach other pregnant women. And there was nothing more rewarding. I created my own online course.

This was the first step I took to my NOW-life, the main turning point in realizing my job was toxic. I realized that teaching yoga and helping students get unstuck lit me up.

I decided I wanted more, and have been moving in this direction ever since. The more people I can help the more the happiness floods into my days. This reflects on my health, the way I treat others, and myself.

If I would have taken more time to tune into myself in the first place, I would have realized this much sooner. But I never gave myself the time to think a thought to an end.

100% of my improvement was a result of doing yoga and learning to pay attention to things that no longer served me. Leading to better circumstances: healthy relationships and pregnancy. 

And then 50% of my improvement was due to my circumstances of being a mother with a new perspective, and 50% of the actions I took out of these new circumstances: the ambition to sort out my life, leave my job, and get help.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I went to a psychiatrist to have my sanity approved for ‘myself’. I wanted to do it because at one point I thought I was going crazy. Family and friends were at one point no longer an objective source of advice, so I trusted my gut and got help.  

Sometimes it can help to get the opinion of a ‘professional stranger’ free of any emotional connection to you. This helped me gain so much simplicity in my complex problems.

The thing I didn’t like was that he immediately wanted to put me on medication, although I had just had a mental breakthrough. A total shift of thought patterns that needed to be digested. I refused to take them and asked for a second appointment in the near future instead. He decided to give it a shot and it worked.

Before deciding to take any antidepressants, sleep over it. Numbing things out won’t necessarily make them go away. But working with and through your problems will.

It doesn’t mean that you’ll feel like the pain never existed, but you learn to live with it. It’s part of your life experience which makes you who you are. 

Furthermore, don’t underestimate the power of yoga. With the relief of bodily tension, trapped emotions are set free. Hidden blockages coming from self-limiting beliefs, trauma, and more. Untangling these can be both confusing and liberating.

Bringing things up to work with from your subconscious. For me, it brought up unexplainable feelings that eventually led to realizations that helped me take action and move toward a better life. That’s why I became a teacher.

I still haven’t healed from my situation fully. I have days where my thoughts spiral around the thought that I wasted half of my life putting up with things that broke my own values. But I know it’s most likely never going to happen again.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Yes, I share my story openly hoping to help others gain clarity faster, helping them on their path to self-reflection and eventually enlightenment.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Take more time for yourself, and learn to trust your gut. It’s crucial to stay in touch with your true needs and values, maintaining a healthy mindset and a balanced life.

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get lost in the sea of responsibilities, endless opportunities, and distractions and forget about ourselves.

Taking a few moments every day to focus on ourselves, journal our thoughts and feelings, and disconnect from screens can help us reconnect with our true inner selves.

This sounds simple but it’s hard work and can be very confusing and frustrating. But I strongly believe that numbing out your feelings with medication won’t get you anywhere. The problems will remain when you drop the meds, and you’ll be in the same place you were before.

I like to compare it with a plant starting as a seed: It keeps on growing non stop pushing its way through all the soil (your inner resistance and struggles)

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

Burnt Toast by Terry Hatcher was my first inspiration for self-care.

George Kelly – Personal Construct Theory: This book helped me understand the complexity of each individual and how they perceive the world from a completely different view even if they are seeing exactly what you’re seeing – sounds simple but it’s an eye-opener.

Ina May – Guide to Childbirth: Not only for pregnant women! This book helped me understand that you need to let go, heal, and process your subconscious blockages in order to give birth to something. I know this book is about how women have trouble giving birth when they are emotionally blocked, and in my opinion, it transfers to most things in life. Not only a baby but also art, music, creativity, being yourself, etc.

(Not a book.. but) Do Yoga! I encourage anyone who feels in any way stuck to practice any type of yoga. Because during yoga practice, you are fully indulged with your thoughts in the body and not in the mind. This pause is essential for breakthroughs and deep connections to your own inner self – which is not comparable to anyone else.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me here, or find me on Yoga Alliance, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Struggle With Burnout and Adaptation Disorder and How Yoga Helped Me Find Clarity appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi! I’m so honored to be here. My name is Sarah Ezrin. I’m an author and yoga teacher based in the Bay Area where I live with my two little boys (four and one and a half years old), husband, and our dog. I released my first non-fiction book five months ago today! It’s called The Yoga of Parenting and is definitely my third baby. 

I’m a freelancer for a number of different print and online publications and write on the subjects of parenthood, wellness, and mental health, often interweaving all three.

Though I still consider myself a yoga teacher, I’m not currently teaching on a schedule anywhere. But I still prioritize moving my body and try to do some kind of physical activity every day. I love mindful movement.

I definitely consider myself happy, overall, but I’m also scared 24/7. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, so often I will feel anxious or worried without a specific cause. I just walk around with a general sense of dread. It manifests as butterflies in my solar plexus.

Some days I find myself fighting against it, trying to do everything I can to make it go away. This never works and only ends up exacerbating things! Other times, I am able to sit with it and be with it. 

Last night, I was reading in bed and I realized I didn’t feel scared and I tried to savor it, which of course, made me feel anxious!

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I’ve been grappling with mental health my entire life. I have been anxious for as long as I can remember (and the more I learn about generational trauma and epigenetics, the more I wonder if it’s been since birth!). 

At eight years old, there was a lot of turmoil in my home and I started acting out. I was misdiagnosed as having Bipolar disorder and put on a slew of medicines.

It took four years before I was accurately diagnosed with GAD and weaned off the medicine. For the next almost thirty years after that (I’m now 41), I lived with constant anxiety as my baseline. 

I fell in love with meditation and movement as temporary reliefs, but after class I would be right back where I started. I had my first son a few months before the COVID-19 shutdowns. Postpartum is already an isolating time, but then I was cut off from any support.

I was terrified from the moment he was born and deeply understood what people meant when they said, “Your heart is now walking outside of your body.”

My anxiety got progressively worse. I would be completely overwhelmed anytime I was out of the house with him. Everything seemed too loud. I was plagued by intrusive thoughts.

There were times I would be frozen and unable to take action. Sometimes that would happen while out in public with him. I was also incredibly angry. Angry with my husband, the medical system, and the world. 

When my son was around 8 months old, I found a psychiatrist I deeply trusted and he diagnosed me with Postpartum Anxiety Disorder and mild Postpartum Depression. It was a huge relief to be seen and understood and I started treatment. 

I began medication, which can be a bit of a taboo in the wellness and yoga worlds. A lot of people believe you can “heal” yourself through diet and meditation.

But I had been trying that approach my whole life and though I definitely had periods where my anxiety was lessened, this was a point where I needed way more help. I started Prozac and it literally saved my life.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At my worst moments, I felt frozen with fear and completely locked up. Like someone had poured cement over me and I was unable to move, but at the same time, my heart rate was still super fast and I had the urge to run.

I just couldn’t because I was stuck. I would be physically exhausted, but my mind wouldn’t stop, which made sleep impossible. I was terrified to hand my baby to people. Yes, there was the real threat of the pandemic, but even with close family or pods, I felt this urgency to be with him.

I couldn’t really articulate what was happening, either. Which as a writer is unusual! Instead, it would come out in anger. I couldn’t see the bigger picture. I would only see the threat or disruption.

For example, if my husband took my son for a walk and they came back ten minutes late for his nap time, I’d be furious (read: scared) when they got home that his nap schedule was tampered with, rather than grateful for the break. 

There was very little joy. I’m someone who uses humor and laughter as medicine in the darkest of times, but I couldn’t find anything funny about what was happening. Even the most joyous moments with my son were tinged with darkness and thoughts about our mortality. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

The Prozac took some time to settle into my system and in fact, I went through a week or so where I was completely wiped out and needed to sleep most of the day, but we figured out the right dosage, and little by little, everything began to feel lighter.

We had moved from our tiny apartment in San Francisco to a beautiful one-story home by the Bay, which also meant I was spending way more time outside. In SF, it’s often foggy and cold, but in Marin, the sun was shining more days than not and people were out and about. 

I think something lifted around the Fall of 2020 a month after we had lived in our new home. Our garden was filled with fallen leaves and I did a little photoshoot with the baby. I was crying and laughing because every picture was a mess. His eyes were closed or mine or the leaves were blocking the lens.

A few months prior I would have given up or gotten frustrated. Or not have the energy to continue. Instead, I was able to savor every second of the process and appreciate the blunders.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I’ve learned over the years of trial and error that there is never just one magic solution. It’s a tool kit of support and resources. All my years of yoga and meditation were still valuable, I just needed a little more help from medication.

And frankly, were it not for the Prozac calming my anxiety, I wouldn’t have been able to reap the benefits of my spiritual practices. It’s all cyclical and feeds into the next.

My advice to others going through a similar experience is not to expect any one thing to be the magic fix, but rather to embrace many different tools as a part of your mental health wellness tool kit. Also, don’t give up on something if it isn’t working.

For example, it takes a few tries to find the right dosage but also a few years to find the right therapist. Maybe yoga interests you, but you don’t like doing it in public. Try online courses. It takes time and attention, but you are worth that time and attention.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I’m very open about my journey and struggles both within my family and publicly through my social media platforms. Interestingly, I seem to be able to share more openly through my writing and online than in person, but I try to do both.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Your gut often knows what’s right for you way more clearly than society’s expectations or taboos. Trust that kind inner voice telling you that you are worth the work. You are.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

I’m a mom of two very little kids, so my favorite author is Dr. Daniel Siegel. He’s a neurobiologist who’s written a number of books about how our brains respond and ways we can rewire old traumas. My favorite book of his is Parenting From the Inside Out.

Gabor Maté is brilliant when it comes to the topics of trauma and addiction. I love his conversational style. He was recently on Dax Shepherd’s podcast, Armchair Expert and it was brilliant.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

I’m a yoga educator, content creator, and a mom living in the San Francisco Bay Area. I also wrote a book called ‘The Yoga of Parenting‘. My passion lies in supporting others on their wellness and parenting journeys. Through my writing, classes, and social media presence, I strive to create a space where everyone can feel acknowledged and understood. If you’d like to know more or connect, feel free to reach out to me on Instagram TikTok, or YouTube.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

I’m an open book and an oversharer, so I’m sure I covered more than you might have been expecting! A good question might be how things are going now.

I had a second son and the postpartum experience was completely different. It felt like a beautiful do-over and I really got to soak in the magic that is that post-birth time.

Both my sons are older now, my youngest is 1.5yr and my eldest is 4yr. My tool kit is pretty similar, though I meditate for much longer than I used to. I have also added in the program of Al-Anon which is for families and friends of alcoholics and that’s been a great source of peace for me.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Meditation and Wellness Helped Me Navigate GAD and Transform My Life appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, I’m Katy! While I currently reside on the island of Montreal, Canada, my roots trace back to a small town nestled along the majestic Temiscouata Lake. 

After having conquered the challenges of social anxiety, I discovered my life’s purpose. Today, I am a proud Social Anxiety Coach and Certified Hypnotherapist. 

Being able to guide others on their journey towards self-confidence is not just my profession but a genuine passion. It’s incredibly rewarding to witness the transformation and empowerment that my clients experience as they break free from the shackles of social anxiety. 

Through coaching and hypnotherapy, I empower individuals to rewrite their narratives, step into their true selves, and discover the strength they never knew they had. The sense of purpose and fulfillment I derive from this work is beyond words, and I feel truly blessed to walk this path.

As for happiness, it was not always the case, but my journey has led me to a place of contentment and joy. Life’s twists and turns have taught me that happiness isn’t a constant state but a series of moments we must savor.

Today, I find happiness in the connections I forge, the smiles I share, and the positive impact I have on the lives of others.

In this beautiful journey of self-discovery, I’ve learned that true happiness comes from embracing our authentic selves, and that’s a gift I strive to pass on to those I have the privilege to coach and support.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I used to struggle with social anxiety for as long as I can remember.

I felt an intense fear of judgment, criticism, and a belief that I didn’t fit in or that something was inherently wrong with me. The fear of being singled out or negatively evaluated in social situations was constantly present in my life. This fear manifested as physical symptoms like trembling, blushing, and rapid heart rate when I had to speak in public or engage in conversations.

I was always a shy and introverted child, which continued into adolescence. My struggle was significantly influenced by growing up in a small town where I felt like I didn’t fit in.

My racial background set me apart, and I internalized the belief that being different was something to be feared and ashamed of. The fear of judgment and criticism from others deepened during these crucial years, leading to a heightened sense of social anxiety.

Over time, my social anxiety developed into a pervasive force that impacted every aspect of my life. From avoiding social situations to self-censoring in conversations, it became a constant companion, restricting my growth and happiness.

However, the turning point came when it started impacting my performance at work. I had trouble expressing myself in meetings, and my boss told me to find a solution. I decided to confront and address this struggle head-on by joining a Toastmasters club.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

My struggle with social anxiety made me feel utterly isolated and profoundly unhappy. It was as if a dark cloud of self-doubt and fear constantly loomed over me. I felt like an outsider, disconnected from the world around me.

The anxiety was relentless, and it gnawed at my self-esteem and overall well-being. Happiness seemed like an elusive dream, something that others could experience but remained out of my reach.

The impact on my happiness was severe. I found myself avoiding social situations, which led to missed opportunities for personal and professional growth. The sense of isolation and loneliness was overwhelming.

The struggle with social anxiety prevented me from forming meaningful connections and enjoying the richness of life’s social interactions. It wasn’t merely a fleeting discomfort; it was a pervasive and persistent presence that tainted my experiences.

For a long time, I tried to hide my struggle from those around me. I didn’t want to burden others with my internal battles, and I was ashamed of my perceived inadequacies.

It wasn’t always clear to others that I was grappling with something so significant since I had been struggling for so long. They were not able to notice any changes. I

It wasn’t until I started my journey of self-acceptance and sought help that I began to open up about my social anxiety. It was a liberating step towards healing and recovery.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

The fear of speaking up in meetings or making presentations became a significant barrier to my career advancement. I knew I couldn’t let this anxiety define my future any longer.

The change began when I decided to join a Toastmasters club, which provided a supportive environment for me to work on my public speaking skills and overcome my social anxiety.

My decision to take the initiative to join this club was a pivotal step, and it was driven by my own determination to break free from the limitations social anxiety had imposed on me.

My struggle with social anxiety had impacted me for several years before I found the catalyst for change in joining Toastmasters. It was a journey that had accompanied me from my youth into my professional life, so it took a considerable amount of time before I recognized the need for change and took that first step toward overcoming it.

Once I started on this path, however, the positive changes and improvements began to accumulate gradually, transforming not only my social anxiety but also my overall outlook on life.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Overcoming social anxiety was a transformative journey, and it was a culmination of various steps that, when taken together, allowed me to break free from its grip.

One of the most significant actions I took was joining a Toastmasters club. This provided a structured and supportive environment to improve my public speaking and communication skills.

I started small by attending meetings and gradually progressed to giving speeches, which were initially nerve-wracking but eventually became more comfortable. The club’s positive and constructive feedback helped build my confidence and minimize my fear of judgment.

Seeking professional help was another pivotal step. I consulted a coach who specialized in anxiety. During our sessions, I learned to identify and challenge irrational thought patterns that fueled my social anxiety. My coach helped me reframe these negative thought patterns and taught me strategies to manage anxiety in real-time.

Additionally, self-acceptance played a critical role. I learned to embrace my uniqueness and let go of the need to conform to societal norms. It was a process of acknowledging that it’s okay to be different and that my differences were not something to be ashamed of. I shared my story with like-minded individuals at Toastmasters, and their acceptance and support reinforced the idea that it’s okay to be myself.

If someone is in a similar situation, I recommend taking these steps as a starting point. Join a supportive group or organization that aligns with your goals, whether it’s Toastmasters or another community that allows you to practice social interaction and public speaking.

Seek professional help from a therapist or coach who specializes in anxiety. Their expertise can guide you in managing your anxiety effectively. Most importantly, remember that self-acceptance is a powerful tool.

Embrace your uniqueness, seek support from a like-minded community, and challenge negative thought patterns. These steps, when combined, can pave the way for significant progress in overcoming social anxiety.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I did not initially feel comfortable discussing my struggle with social anxiety with friends and family members. It took time and a growing self-acceptance to feel comfortable sharing my journey.

The first time I talked about it was in a speech in my Toastmasters club. Sharing my experiences in this supportive environment was a relief and helped me feel less isolated. Everyone was supportive and understanding; it helped me connect with them.

Eventually, as I began to overcome my social anxiety and gained more confidence, I became more comfortable discussing it with more people. I started writing about my experiences in a blog.

This process of opening up about my mental health struggles was a journey in itself, one that reflected my progress in managing social anxiety and finding self-acceptance.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

If I could offer one piece of advice to someone who is struggling with social anxiety, it would be to embrace self-acceptance and self-compassion. What I know now that I wish I had known earlier is that our harshest critic often resides within ourselves.

For years, I believed that social anxiety defined me, and it took a toll on my self-esteem and happiness. I wish I had understood sooner that it’s okay to be different, to have unique qualities, and to not fit into societal norms.

Understanding that social anxiety is not a life sentence and that it can be overcome through self-acceptance and finding a supporting community was a game-changer for me.

Recognize that it’s perfectly normal to have fears and insecurities, but these should not dictate the course of your life. Seek support, whether through therapy, coaching, or sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family member.

You don’t have to face social anxiety alone, and there is a path to healing and self-discovery. By accepting yourself as you are, you can transform your relationship with social anxiety and unlock a world of possibilities.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think: This book provides practical techniques for identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that contribute to social anxiety. It helped me learn how to reframe and replace unhelpful thoughts with more positive ones.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me on my website, or find me on Instagram.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Overcame Social Anxiety and Became a Confident Coach to Help Others Do the Same appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi there! I’m Stephanie, a photographer based in a small town in Wisconsin. I’ve been running my own photography business for 10 years now, and my number one passion is capturing life’s moments through my lens.

I also love reading and learning new things, and I consider myself a happy person. For me, happiness is a choice, and I’ve worked hard to overcome my inner critic that tells me I’m not good enough.

I am in a relationship with a wonderful person. He is also a photographer, so we have lots of fun together. I live with my son and our cat Leo. 

I love books and learning new things. One of my favorite topics to read about is mindset training. Being in charge of my thoughts- versus, letting them consume me. 

Being in charge of my thoughts means that I have more control over my life- and that means that I get to decide if I want to be happy or not.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I was diagnosed with PTSD around the age of 40, but I had been struggling for much longer. I was aware of my symptoms, but I didn’t know the extent of my trauma until a friend told me about Brainspotting. I found a therapist who specialized in Brainspotting, and we began working together.

The first step in Brainspotting is to assess the client’s symptoms and identify any underlying trauma. My PTSD stemmed from the trauma I endured when I became pregnant with twins at 16.

They were born prematurely and both struggled with ongoing health problems. One of them developed cerebral palsy, and the other struggled with ADD and a nonverbal learning disorder.

At 16, I was ill-equipped to handle a pregnancy, let alone a traumatic delivery, and having twins in the NICU for three months. While the focus was on the babies, as it should be, I was struggling with the shock of an unwanted pregnancy and the premature birth of my children. The stress, fatigue, loneliness, and isolation took their toll on me. I had no outlet, no community, and no support.

I lived with this trauma for many years, and it held me back in many ways. I couldn’t develop deep relationships with other people because I couldn’t develop one with myself. PTSD impacted my entire life.

Now, looking back at the trauma and fear I experienced starting at the age of 16, my heart hurts for that girl. She was literally living with the trauma of the preterm labor, the medical issues, the family issues, and everything else. There was no way even an adult could handle that on their own. It affected my entire life.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I never understood why I couldn’t just be happy. I would beat myself up over it, wondering why I couldn’t be content with my beautiful home and fulfilling life. But my PTSD and trauma had a profound impact on my happiness and the happiness of my family.

I tried to hide my anxiety and fears from everyone, but they often left me feeling depressed, tired, and isolated. I was always trying to be better than the person I thought I was.

My trauma was buried so deep that it had become a part of my identity. I really thought I was a bad person and that I was unworthy of happiness. I didn’t realize that there was a different way to think or live.

All the things that should have made me feel better – a gym membership, hiking in nature – made me feel worse. I felt numb and empty, and I was angry at myself for not being able to enjoy them. Trauma and my inner critic ruled my life.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

In March 2022, I decided to take a month in Santa Barbara to figure out my life. Being in a new town gave me the space to see who I really was and what I wanted.

I went to Zumba, joined a meditation group, and went for walks on the beach. I finally felt safe, and I began to heal the fear and trauma I had accumulated over the years.

During that month, I realized that I needed to get divorced and move into my own space. It was a difficult decision, but it was the right one for me. I was finally ready to be myself and to live the life I wanted.

After I left my marriage, my life began to change rapidly. I started to understand the books I had read about mindset, joy, and gratitude. I realized that I was in control of my thoughts and feelings and that I could choose to focus on the things that brought me joy.

I now feel free to express myself, and I am using my voice to help others feel good about themselves, to make a difference, and to make choices for themselves.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Being a teen mom was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I felt insecure, alone, unworthy, and ashamed. It breaks my heart to write this because I can still feel all of those emotions.

If you’re struggling with these feelings, for any reason, I want you to know that I love you. I don’t know you, but I know your struggles, your heart, and the strong love you give out. You just haven’t found a safe place to receive that love back yet. But I love you.

I know the courage it takes to just be here, to show up every day. I know how hard it is just to be you. And even if you think your strength is gone and you want to give up, you have to keep going.

There are good people in the world who really do just want you to be happy. You have to use your strength to find those people. But first, you have to find a safe place to be yourself.

All the therapists, walks, hikes, and motivational books in the world won’t help you until you’re in a safe place to receive the love and kindness you deserve.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

A single piece of advice I would give is that don’t worry about what other people think. You have to do you. Until they have walked a mile in your shoes- they cannot give you advice or judge you. The second thing, learn meditation. It’s a literal lifesaver.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
• The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk.
• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, also love Eat, Pray, Love!
• Meditations with Sara Mclean (Youtube). 
• Sue Bryce Podcast– here’s my favorite.
• Prince Charming Isn’t Coming By Barabara Stanny.
• Soul Without Shame by Byron Brown.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me here, or on Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

I would love to talk about my morning routine for happiness and abundance! It is a huge part of who I am and why I am able to choose happiness.

Every morning, I stay off social media and write out my day hour by hour on paper. This helps me silence my overactive, judgy, and critical mind later in the day when it’s at its loudest. After taking my son to school, I walk my dog and then meditate for 10-15 minutes, usually with a guided meditation on YouTube or with relaxing music.

I schedule time into my day for walks with my dog, coffee with a friend, or an afternoon hike. And every day, I try to do at least one thing that will make me happy. I literally ask myself, “What could I do today that makes me happy?” And I do it!

I had a marketing coach who would always say, “What makes you happy? What makes you joyful?” I really appreciated that question because if you’re not happy, you’re not going to attract clients!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Therapy and Meditation Helped Me Navigate Birth Trauma as a Teen Mom appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi! I’m Sharanya Ramakrishnan, a 31-year-old woman living in Seattle, USA with my wonderful fiance and our 3-year-old Siberian Husky boy, Archer.

I work for Amazon Web Services as a Senior Tech Product Manager. I moved to the United States in 2016, to pursue my Master’s degree and have lived here since, building my career in tech, like so many others.

I grew up thousands of miles away in Bangalore, India, with doting parents whose lives revolved (and still do, to be honest) around my younger sister and me. They both worked very hard to provide us with all the opportunities we could ask for.

My dad has always been my biggest cheerleader. In his mind – there’s nothing his daughter can’t achieve if she wants to. My mother has been an absolute inspiration – though her education was cut shorter than she’d have liked, she used her thirst for knowledge to build a career she absolutely loved. Growing up, my sister and I had our love-hate phases but now, she is my person. I can’t imagine life without her. 

I feel grateful to live in the Pacific Northwest because I get to enjoy the great outdoors. I spend my weekends hiking, reading, volunteering, and exploring Seattle neighborhoods on long walks with my dog.

Archer and I welcomed my fiance into our lives about 2 years ago. I treasure the little moments we spend together as a family. They’re the ones who keep me going through life’s good and bad days.

When someone asks me, “Are you happy?”, I often say that I definitely am, based on my definition of happiness. I’ve realized that for me, happiness is being at peace mentally.

Having gone from a cheerful, easy-going yet ambitious young woman in her early 20s to an anxious, self-critical adult with low self-confidence in her late 20s to my present self now, I can say that I am grateful, therefore I am happy. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My struggle with Anxiety and Depression started with a mini-panic attack in early 2017. While it continued with minor instances, I hit my worst phase in late 2020 and struggled through most of 2021.

I was officially diagnosed with Clinical Depression in early 2022 and have been on antidepressants since October 2022. Yes, it sounds like a calendar of events, Depression milestones of sorts.

But what most people may not understand is that you never know when you’re going to have a panic attack. You never know when you’re going to wake up next with a horrible knot in your stomach, not wanting to leave your bed because that means your day has begun.

You, like me, may not even realize you’re HAVING a panic attack the first time. I still have the image etched in my mind. It was during my Masters and I had an assignment due in 6 hours. Simple, easy one which would probably take me an hour to complete.

But, for whatever reason, I sat there on my chair, feeling my hands and feet get very cold. I was scared but couldn’t logically explain why. It felt like I froze, mentally. I was numb.

Since then, I’ve had panic attacks ranging from cold hands and feet to lying on the floor crying my eyes out as a knot in my chest grew bigger and left me gasping, unable to breathe. But these are instances.

The part that was hardest to deal with was waking up every day, for months, going through your day, and doing the bare minimum. Because I just could not find a reason to do anything. I did not have the energy to live my life and that crushed me the most. 

Until I planned to leave home and move to the United States, life was a very balanced game of effort and reward. I worked hard in school, was consistently among the top students, and reaped my rewards in terms of appreciation and awards, job offers, etc.

The first blow was when I walked up confidently for my F1 student visa interview, with stellar grades and an admission to a University ranked among the top 5 in the US for my course, only to be rejected without any explanation.

This hit me hard. I’d done everything academically to stay on the path I’d dreamed of and convinced my parents, who had second thoughts about me living all alone in a new country so I was mentally preparing myself for the upcoming new chapter in life.

I managed to re-apply for my Visa and make it the same year to grad school. But, this was the first time in my life when I learned that it isn’t always an effort = reward game. 

Fast forward a few years, a few more life lessons but mostly a good life overall, and then came the time when all our lives came to a standstill. The Pandemic of 2020.

What started off as a week of working from home, while visiting my then (now ex) fiance was the beginning of the darkest phase of my depression. In 2020, I got stuck in Seattle for months, away from my home in the Bay Area where I was working then.

Coincidentally, I ended up interviewing and landing an offer with AWS and decided to move cities in mid-2020. So, I left behind the place that felt closest to home since my time in the US, the Bay Area, and all my friends.

I moved to Seattle, a city where I barely knew anyone, thinking it might be a good time to live with my fiance before getting married in November 2020. 

So, we started living together and I began my journey at AWS with an overdose of anxiety and imposter syndrome in July 2020. I let my love for dogs overrule my practicality and we got a puppy together, my first dog ever, Archer, in August 2020.

And somewhere between juggling a highly competitive tech job, raising a pup for the first time (a high-energy husky at that), struggling to communicate with my partner, and feeling isolated without my support system of friends during the pandemic, I slipped into what felt like a hopeless abyss.

Externally, people saw someone with a successful career, a relationship inching towards the wedding, and a beautiful pup to add to the joy. Internally, it was anxious days with constant self-doubt at work and a  relationship that was crumbling under the weight of the pandemic. 

We pushed out the wedding, eventually ending the engagement and I moved out, to live alone for the first time with an almost 1-year-old pup to take care of. My parents, like most Indian parents, viewed their daughter getting married as the mark of successfully raising their child.

It broke their heart when they learned about the break-up. It was the hardest few months of my life. But, this phase also pushed me on a journey of self-discovery, reflection, growth, and healing. 

I’ve been in therapy for almost 2 years now, with weekly therapy sessions and daily medication. I can now confidently say that I have the ability to tackle whatever life throws at me and hope that I don’t experience a drawn-out phase of struggle like before.

I still have days every couple of weeks when I feel empty inside but know how to help myself out of it. Panic attacks are still slightly more difficult to handle but having my anxiety medication handy has helped immensely.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

My struggle with Anxiety and Depression impacted every facet of my life. There have been days when I felt so unlike the “me” I knew my whole life that I stopped and questioned when I changed so much.

I went from seeing myself as a carefree and confident optimist to a paranoid, underconfident person. I questioned everything from my job offers to my promotion and felt like I didn’t deserve them.

My anxious-avoidant attachment style coupled with depression during the pandemic had a drastic impact on my relationship choices. I didn’t stand up for myself and willingly gave up my time and energy, seeking validation.

Ultimately, I was in a place where nothing really excited me or made me happy anymore, I felt like I had no purpose in life. My only reason to get out of bed in the morning was my dog.

Even this came with a sense of extreme guilt, that he might have a happier life with a loving family rather than someone struggling to juggle work, health issues, and taking care of himself. 

After my broken engagement, I leaned on my friends and family for support. In my personal life, I’ve always been open about my emotions with close friends but never really spoke out about the bad days and struggles with depression.

My sister was my only confidant for the longest time. I gradually started being more vocal about it with a few people after starting therapy and spending time on my personal growth.

However, I’ve never spoken openly with friends or colleagues about how I’ve struggled at work as a result of my anxiety or depression. I’m now slightly more open to talking about it but was always scared that talking about it while going through the struggle would affect my career growth. 

I’ve never thought about self-harm, having seen firsthand how it affects family when someone chooses to end their life. However, there have been many times when I wished I just disappeared, erased. No one would remember my existence and nobody would be in pain.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

There were a few moments in 2022 when I felt…light. It felt like I was carrying something heavy in my head for a long time and finally, someone removed it. My mind was constantly racing with pessimistic thoughts, overthinking past situations, future fears, what I could have done differently, etc.

I tried to fill every spare second with self-help audio books, YouTube videos, and mental health blogs to help me navigate the overthinking that was taking over my life.

And then slowly, gradually, without me consciously realizing it, I had a shift in perspective. I felt more gratitude for the growth and learning that came out of my difficult experiences, than the pain they’d caused.

I started cherishing my time alone in thought and the peace that came along. I started waking up looking forward to experiences again. But the biggest difference I remember is after I started my medication in October 2022 and waking up one morning in January 2023, feeling like my old, cheerful self. That was a beautiful day.

I would say that 50% of my mindset shift came from self-reflection during therapy and personal growth-focused learning. The rest I would attribute to actions – everything from walking my dog several times a day, which meant stepping out and moving my body even on the worst days, to including exercise as part of my lifestyle and building a support system of close friends. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I had tried therapy once, way back in early 2019, but didn’t find it helpful. I tried it again in 2020 and early 2021 but did not find it very helpful. I felt like I was summarizing what was happening in my life to someone, that’s it.

I kept at it and connected enough with one therapist to take about 4 sessions. Her approach was different and I found the sessions to be slightly helpful.

However, we couldn’t connect enough to continue further. And then in March 2022, I found my current therapist who I’ve met almost every week, for more than a year now. I cannot quantify the immense impact she has had on my life, I just know I’ll be grateful to her for the rest of my life.

Now, I often tell friends that finding a therapist can be very similar to dating. It is important to find the right person! The key difference I now realize was all the other therapists approached the sessions as a one-time visit rather than something more.

My therapist started our first session by discussing my goals from therapy. What aspect of my life did I want to improve and how? This by itself was a great reflective exercise. 

She took the time to listen to my life map or a timeline of every year of my life and whatever I remember, until now. I believe those sessions set the foundation to help her understand who I am, my interactions with family, how I view myself in the world, etc.

She helped me uncover my relationship attachment style and how I can work on moving towards a secure, healthy relationship. She helped me realize that I was functioning from a place of depleted energy, without putting in the effort into self-care to replenish lost energy.

For example, she uncovered my people-pleasing tendency, which meant saying yes to all social commitments and then overpacking my days with them, at the expense of any time that I could get for myself.

This meant I could not recharge and replenish my energy but ended up losing more trying to keep everyone else happy. Fatigue, low energy, and lack of interest stemmed from here for me.

She helped me understand the true meaning of self-care – daily routines focused on good food, sufficient sleep, regular exercise, and mindfulness. She provided me with tools to manage my anxiety, from grounding techniques to breathwork and clay work.

She’s had a great impact on helping me heal and when I say that the rewards from the right therapist are priceless, I truly hope everyone in need of therapy works to find the right therapist for them and not give up.

I now realize that cognitive understanding is very important for me to navigate life. I spent a lot of time trying to work on and resolve relationship issues for the first time in my life, rather than ignoring them.

I felt like I needed answers to the “Why did this happen to me?” question that comes up in our minds so often during bitter life experiences. So, I sought to understand more about relationships, mental health, what makes us react to situations and why everyone reacts differently, etc.

I read self-help books, listened to podcasts, and watched videos on these topics. I did this every day, to fill any spare time I had because it seemed to feel “productive” at the time. I also spent time discussing this topic with a few close friends who could relate to my experiences. I didn’t know that consuming this type of content was slowly shifting my perspective.

For example, I remember dealing with bouts of anger and irritability as a side-effect of depression. It was often directed at family and I always regretted it later. I learned about the concept of “responding” and not “reacting” to situations and tried to consciously implement this every time I felt myself on the verge of losing my temper. 

Another aspect that I cannot stress enough is exercise. Throughout this time, I’ve had months where I exercised regularly at least 3-4 times a week, and a few weeks without exercising.

I’ve noticed a significant difference in my mood and energy levels during weeks when I’m not exercising. I have more bad days or low-energy days during such weeks and feel physically weak, even if it is a week of regular routine without any exercise.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Yes, I’ve shared all of it with my sister, I consider her my pillar of strength. My fiance is also familiar with my journey and is very supportive. I’ve also shared parts of it with a few close friends, though most aren’t aware of my medications. 

I did not feel comfortable talking to my colleagues about this. As mentioned before, I had (and probably still do) hesitations about how they may respond to it and the impact it can have on my career growth.  

By nature, I’m someone who has been comfortable discussing struggles with close friends – more of an open-book kinda person. I wouldn’t say I find it hard to share most things, but a handful of topics are harder.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Always remember that there will be happier days and you deserve to experience and enjoy them. It may take weeks, months, or even years, but all the work you put into improving your mental health is the best gift you can give yourself.

Most of all, your happiness depends only on one person in your entire life, the only one who will be with you forever – yourself. Any happiness you receive from other sources – be it parents, partners, or friends, is adding to the core. It is NOT the core.

This is why it is so important to learn to spend time enjoying your company, being your #1 support system, and treating yourself with love and self-compassion. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• YouTube channel: Psych2Go – This was a valuable channel to help me dive into my symptoms and get a better handle through useful, practical tips to manage depression. The short format videos make it easy to consume. 
• YouTube channel: Sadhguru – I’ve never been religious or a very spiritual person, all my life. However, when things were falling apart and I sought answers, this channel seemed to provide them. 
• YouTube channel: Better Than Yesterday – I found tips in this channel helpful on days when I had to motivate myself to get the bare minimum done. 
• Book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and Everything is F*cked by Mark Manson – I found both the books easy to grasp, straightforward, practical and they approach life from a “how to embrace change” and be selective about the problems we want in our lives, which is helpful. Focusing on the “good problems” mindset is helpful when you’re feeling like the victim. 
• Book: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle – At a time when I had so many questions about how life worked, how people changed, and what I did wrong, this book was a guiding light for self-reflection. It has powerful information that if you choose to read and absorb, it will definitely help you become a calmer and more balanced person
• Book: Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty – Great book for when you feel like you don’t have a purpose in life and feel restless constantly or are in limbo, going with the wind through life. 

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find me on LinkedIn and Instagram.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Navigated Anxiety, Depression and Panic Attacks As I Settled Abroad in a New World appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I’m Lisa Dimino White. I live in a suburb of Denver, Colorado, have been married to a great guy for more than two decades, and am the mom of two awesome kids – David (15) and Catherine (11).

I have a background in marketing and communications management and had been doing that for more than twenty years until I finally decided a couple of years ago to focus solely on my passion: inspiring others to seek out, create, and spread joy every single day.

I do it through writing, hosting a couple of podcasts, speaking professionally, life coaching, and officiating legal weddings!

I firmly believe that most people are pretty darn amazing and too often don’t recognize their own greatness, and I’m on a mission to change that. I also believe that we all have struggles, but they don’t define us. We can be happy despite them.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t afraid. As a child, I was constantly fearful and anxious that something bad would happen to me or someone that I loved. 

For example:

• I was terrified of a fire starting in my house at night so I had a ritual of looking under my bed before going to sleep to make sure a flame wasn’t burning. 
• I was nervous that my heart would suddenly stop while I slept so I’d fall asleep intentionally with my hand on my chest with the plan that if it stopped I would scream and my parents would come in and save me. 
• During daily trips to our local Kmart Mom would let my younger brother browse the toy section while she shopped. I was so afraid that someone was going to kidnap him that I would stand behind him, like his very own personal bodyguard, while he drooled over the GI Joe’s. I would have much preferred to be in the next aisle looking at the Barbie Dreamhouse or selection of Cabbage Patch Kid dolls, but I wouldn’t move -– it was my job to protect him. 
• I wouldn’t let my parents go out on a date for fear that they would be in a car accident and die on the way home. 
• Air travel was completely out of the question….there was no way I would set foot on an airplane. Entirely too dangerous. I didn’t like the idea of being that high up without a safety net.

My parents were naturally concerned and took me to a child psychologist, who taught me strategies that got me through middle and high school and college.

I’d feel anxious occasionally, but nothing overwhelming; mostly because I was able to avoid doing anything that I deemed to be “too dangerous” and would perform my “compulsion” to alleviate my anxiety over any “obsession” that came up.

For example, if I accidentally dropped something on the floor and had to pick it up I would instantly start obsessing over the germs that were now on my hands from touching the item that was on the dirty floor and have to wash them immediately. It was the only way I could make myself feel better. And I needed to feel better. 

My symptoms spiked uncontrollably, however, when I got married and started living with my new husband, and then again when I was expecting my first baby eight years later.

I had to seek professional help during both of those major life events because I was worried about every single thing, and the “what if” mentality was consuming my life. Yes, most expectant mothers are nervous, but I took it to the next level.

For example, I obsessed with overeating foods that were “safe”, which meant no unpasteurized cheeses, deli meats, hot dogs, Caesar dressing, or excessive amounts of tuna. (I once forgot to confirm with the waiter at a restaurant if the cheese on my salad was pasteurized before eating it, so I called the next day in a panic and was passed around from server to manager to chef until someone at the restaurant could answer my desperate question.)

Every ache or feeling I had in my abdomen required a call or trip to my doctor’s office to get assurance that everything was okay. One morning on my way to work I slipped on the ice in my driveway….I wasn’t hurt, but I couldn’t stop obsessing over it until I knew that the baby wasn’t either.

My therapist helped me navigate my fears by providing me with tools to use when I felt the spiral starting. She also introduced me to exposure therapy, where I would intentionally touch things that freaked me out and fight the overwhelming urge to wash my hands afterward.

It was tough…I would white-knuckle it sometimes (pun intended), but the more I did it the easier it became. I had finally gotten to a place where fear and anxiety were not controlling me.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Despite these fearful thoughts, I’ve always been a happy person. No one except my immediate family knew about my struggles. My fear did occasionally keep me from taking chances or living life to the fullest, however. 

Specifically, in college I turned down an all-expenses paid trip to Rome, Italy because I refused to get on a plane. I was a member of my school’s award-winning speech and debate team and I qualified to compete in an international competition. 

I agonized for weeks over whether or not to go. Every time I would imagine going – visualizing the drive to the airport, boarding the plane, being in the air – I would start to get short of breath and anxious, thinking about what could happen. It wasn’t worth the risk, so I passed.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I remember when I realized I needed help again: I wouldn’t let my dad pee.

I hadn’t had therapy in more than 10 years (my medication, combined with the strategies and tools I had) were all working! Then COVID-19 came into the picture, and for someone with anxiety, OCD, and catastrophic thinking tendencies, it was terrifying. It took my fears and germophobic ways to a whole new level.

Previously, my anxiety focused on things that were very unlikely to happen or were totally made up in my mind, but this threat was real. When health officials and scientists encouraged everyone to wash their hands more frequently, we germaphobes – who already wash our hands significantly more often than everybody else –  did what we were told….and had the bloody knuckles to prove it. 

Upon first learning about this virus, I immediately locked my family and me in our house and threw away the key. For three solid months my kids, husband, and I didn’t see anyone or go anywhere in public. We took family walks around our neighborhood, rode our bikes on trails, and tried to pass the time without strangling each other.

I even bought a ping pong set that came with a net that was attached to the kitchen table. Hundreds of heated ping pong matches took place – not only was it a good distraction but my kids are pretty darn good at it now. I’m sure for the rest of their lives they’ll associate ping pong with being in quarantine.

All was going according to plan until one sunny day in early June. That afternoon my parents (who live about thirty minutes away) came over for a socially-distanced visit on my back deck because we hadn’t seen them since COVID began.

I was very uncomfortable but did my best to get through it because they wanted to see us – even if we couldn’t get close or touch each other. We all sat ten feet apart (because if the recommendation was six feet then ten was better.)

My mind was racing the entire time….are we intentionally exposing them to COVID by sharing the same space? Are they exposing us? Will this visit result in someone getting sick or dying? I was a mess. About thirty minutes into their visit my dad had to use the bathroom, and I refused to let him inside my house. 

They understood and left. I crumpled up into a ball on the floor and cried. 

Up until that moment I was treading water and waiting for the “all clear” that this threat had passed. It had to be over soon, right? Any day now, right? That day I realized that the finish line may not be as close as I thought it was, and I couldn’t keep treading because I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Could I live like this for another six months? Another year? Heck no.

I also couldn’t keep my kids completely isolated from their friends for much longer; I noticed my son, who was 12 years old at the time, was getting more disconnected and no longer video chatting with his buddies as much. That frightened me enough to acknowledge that I needed to find some middle ground to get us through this difficult situation in a healthier way.

We were existing; not living. 

I called my therapist and made an appointment.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Fear was a part of who I was. I was convinced that if there was even a .00001% chance that something bad could happen, with my luck it was going to happen to me.

I did not recognize the very important difference between possible and probable. I couldn’t see that just because there’s a possibility of something bad happening does not mean that it’s likely to happen. It took me years to wrap my head around that concept.

My therapist helped me realize it, and to be able to pause and look at a situation that’s causing me distress more objectively. Is it easy? No. Do I always do it? Also no, but I try.

I also believe that it’s important for me to accept that I’ll never be “fearless.” Instead, I strive to “fear less.” It’s just how I’m wired, but that doesn’t mean that I will allow fear to be in charge of me, my life, and my decisions. I can feel the fear and still do the things I want to anyway.

I just have to be comfortable with the discomfort of whatever it is I’m doing. I have to be willing to tell my mind, “I know you think this is super dangerous, but I’ve decided that it’s not, and I’m going to proceed anyway.”

Waiting to live my life until the fear “goes away completely” was unrealistic because I was never going to be without fear, so now I just accept that I’ll likely always feel a little bit of fear, and it’s okay to do things that scare me or make me uncomfortable.  

We all deserve to be as happy as we possibly can, and sometimes we need a little help getting there. There are so many resources – books, podcasts, videos, therapists, medication. If you know deep in your gut that you can be happier than you are, there’s no shame in reaching out for help.

Your situation may not be something that can be eliminated/fixed/changed entirely, but chances are it can be improved and/or you can learn some strategies to help navigate it better. It’s scary asking for help, but it’s worth it!

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

No one outside of my family knew about my struggles until the summer of 2020. When COVID began, my friends, colleagues, and acquaintances couldn’t understand why my response was so drastic. They only saw me as a happy mom/coworker/colleague/friend/professional with no struggles.

It occurred to me that by not sharing my story I was perpetuating the distorted reality that some people have no problems and are only happy because their lives are perfect.

Nothing could be further from the truth. As I started sharing my struggles, people realized that if I can be happy despite the challenges I’m faced with, so can they. 

To further share my story, I published my book, “Bursting with Happiness”.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

We all have struggles, but we can be joyful despite them. Everyone deserves to be happy. The question we need to ask is if those struggles are keeping us from being as happy as we know we can be.

Not all shortcomings or challenges need to be improved or fixed, but when they prevent us from being the happiest versions of ourselves that we can be then it’s time to find a way to improve it.

Up until my parents came to visit during COVID I thought I was okay, but in that moment I realized that the way I was handling it was keeping me – and my family- from being as happy as I could be – even during a very difficult time. That’s when I knew that even if I couldn’t get to a place where I wasn’t scared of the situation, I had to find ways to cope with it better than I was.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

The best place to find me is my website. I can also be found on Instagram @lisadiminowhite, TikTok @lisadiminowhite, and Facebook as thejoyseeker.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Overcoming Constant Fear and Anxiety With Therapy, Medication and Self-Improvement appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hello, world . My name is Bill Lennan. 

I live in Silicon Valley, am the co-founder of a mental wellness education company, and this is my 5th+ career path. Previously, I’ve spent 25 years running software teams, was a realtor, and was a Ferrari mechanic out of college. 

I’m a happy parent, my sons are 21 and 18, their mom and I have the best divorce on the planet. I also have a girlfriend who’s amazing. 

I’m passionate about having adventures, helping people, and staying fit. 

And yes, I’m very happy. Life is an interesting series of challenges – I choose to see them as adventure possibilities. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I struggled for decades with social anxiety. 

I was afraid to talk with strangers, afraid of crowds, and even afraid to get vulnerable with my friends. 

My anxiety had a few causes. Sadly, a big part was what my mom told me growing up – that I should not be in conversations unless invited and that my perspective wasn’t valuable. She also had challenges controlling her temper and would scream criticisms – which I learned to avoid by not talking. 

I was always happy to work and choose roles that didn’t require deep conversations. And as my software career advanced, it became clear that my fear of talking with people was also crippling my career progress. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At its worst, my social anxiety had me considering ending my life. 

The combination of relationship struggles, career frustration, and no perceivable end to the pain was an overwhelming darkness. I drank every day to manage. 

No one knew of my struggles. Even my wife didn’t know how much I was struggling. Part of the challenge was my inability to communicate effectively with her. 

Looking back, I can see how my fears of criticism, feelings of scarcity, and lack of communication skills kept me in a trap of my own construction.

I thought I was the only person with this kind of struggle. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

The turnaround happened due to a series of tiny steps. 

My wife insisted that we see a therapist. Our marriage was a shambles, neither of us was happy, and we were both afraid of our pain impacting our kids. 

The therapist recognized my social anxiety. We had a series of sessions with her, both together and separately. 

One day when it was just me, she shared that my communication problem could be solved much more effectively at a Landmark workshop than by working with her.

She didn’t elaborate beyond giving me their website. I immediately trusted her advice because it meant substantially less income for her. I signed up the next day.

At the workshop, I realized that many other people had the same or worse struggles. In a group of 200 people, I was just another face, listening, learning, and finding small freedoms as our mental models changed. 

At that workshop, I realized that learning and practicing skills was how I could achieve freedom from my fears. I was able to point at specific areas (i.e. giving presentations) where learning specific skills (PowerPoint) would make that area achievable. 

Taking this skills approach, I started learning baby steps and practicing better communication skills at work and at home with people I knew. I also learned how to present effectively which opened up more work opportunities. 

It took a bit longer to get comfortable talking with strangers. And again, I started with learning baby steps. My first step was simply asking the barista at Starbucks how their day was going. This sounds trivial but I can remember the sweaty fear I felt the first few times. 

I’ve realized that doing the behavior gave me the evidence and ultimately confidence that I could be comfortable in any communication situation. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

My first big “aha” moment was seeing all the other people in the seminar who were also struggling to communicate. I had been ashamed that this communication problem was uniquely mine and hadn’t imagined a place where I was just another shy introvert among hundreds. Seeing that others shared my problem and that they were also working to reverse the challenge was enlightening. 

The second shift happened after two weeks of practice starting conversations. This was an exercise that a friend helped me to create – asking a barista (or any retail worker) how their day was going. At two weeks, I realized how easy this exercise had become, quite a contrast from the sweaty starting point.

In just two weeks, maybe 20 repetitions, I’d had a huge shift in my confidence (even though they were only 2-minute conversations). 

I still practice this today, a dozen years after that epiphany. 

The next shift was understanding the value of being interested in conversations vs. being interesting. I can 100% control my level of interest in someone else, just by being curious and prompting them to share by asking questions.

Early on, this let me avoid talking about myself and still have conversations. It also made people want to talk with me more – because people enjoy talking about themselves. I used this for business networking, social situations, and even dating. 

Since then, I’ve learned, practiced, and become very comfortable with presenting, leading trainings, and even public speaking.  

One of the strategies that really helped me succeed was using “baby steps”. Figuring out how to give myself an achievable challenge, even if the action seemed trivial.

Asking baristas how their day is going – seems trivial but it was all I could manage. My first presentations were to three people. My first public speaking lasted five minutes. When we can break down the learning into tiny increments, every piece is achievable. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Yes!! I’ve taught this approach to dozens of people ranging from teens to mid-career professionals. 

Watching students go from being nervous about meeting strangers at college to being excited about possibilities as they practice is delightful. 

Hearing professionals share how networking has become possible and interviews become easy is another highly rewarding outcome. 

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

We all struggle, it’s part of being human.

Once we can accept the normality of struggle, we can stop self-criticism which just makes things worse. 

Getting out of struggle is a two-part recipe: our beliefs and our skills. When we can upgrade our beliefs and start learning and improving skills, the struggles become simple activities that we take for granted.

As babies, walking was a struggle but now we take it for granted. I can remember struggling with multiplication and division – both of which I do in my head now. 

Struggle is just a sign that we need to learn and practice new skills, our beliefs usually change in the process. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Landmark Education.
• Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins.
• DBT Skills for Adolescents by Linehan, Miller, Rathus.
  DBT is the leading clinical intervention and should be taught preventatively to everyone. I use these skills every day to improve my emotional resilience, stay on task, manage my energy, and communicate effectively.
• Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell.
• Finite and Infinite Games by James Carse.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

I post daily on TikTok and LinkedIn!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Overcoming Social Anxiety With Gradual Exposure and Helping Others Do The Same appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I live in Delhi. I work in the nonprofit sector and as a Disability Inclusion. I am single. I have plants to take care of. I am into reading and writing poetries and journaling.

And if you’re wondering: Yes, I am happy.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Growing up in the slums of Delhi, India, my struggles began with poverty, domestic violence, and multiple non-apparent disabilities. This mixture exposed me to discrimination and ableism from an early age. 

As I ventured into education, I had to navigate an inaccessible society, facing constant bullying and prejudice. My struggle intensified over time, affecting almost every aspect of my life, from personal relationships to career aspirations. The weight of societal biases and misconceptions surrounding disability became an everyday burden, shaping my view of the world.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

The cumulative impact of discrimination, poverty, and ableism was often unbearable. Feelings of isolation, despair, and loneliness plagued me, overshadowing any happiness or fulfillment. 

I constantly grappled with self-worth and struggled to find my place in a society that seemed indifferent to my pain. Even though I tried to mask my struggles, those closest to me sensed something was wrong. The stress and emotional toll were palpable, leaving scars that took years to heal.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

The moment I began to turn things around was when I chose to channel my struggles into advocacy. I realized that my experiences could be a beacon for others facing similar challenges. This shift was about 70% my own determination and 30% situational improvements. 

The transformation didn’t happen overnight, but gradually, as I engaged with the nonprofit sector and connected with people who understood my journey, I found purpose. I felt a renewed sense of hope and began to believe in the possibility of change

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I became actively involved in disability inclusion, using my voice to advocate for better laws, policies, and regulations for disability rights and justice. Joining forces with like-minded individuals, 

I began speaking at forums and writing about my experiences. I would encourage others in similar situations to find their passion and use it as a channel to heal.

Don’t be afraid to reach out for support and engage with communities that resonate with your struggle.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Sharing my story with family, friends, and colleagues has been a liberating but challenging process. 

While some were supportive, others found it hard to understand my journey. The fear of judgment made it difficult to open up to certain people. 

Being honest about my mental health struggles with those I trust has been essential in my healing process, creating a support network that I can rely on.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Embrace your unique journey, and don’t be afraid to turn your pain into purpose. Connecting with people who truly understand your struggle can be a source of strength and inspiration.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

The Alchemist: This book was instrumental in helping me realize that our unique experiences can be a source of empowerment and change.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find more about me on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Twitter.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Overcoming Ableism and Now Raising My Voice for Disability Inclusion appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Cyn Kubiak. People call me intense, yet I like to try to find humor in everything I can.

I was born and raised in the San Diego area, where I enjoyed surfing and running. My late husband and I took multiple vacations a year to shark-diving destinations.

I worked most of my career as a self-employed graphic designer. For over 20 years, I provided my clients with design and copywriting from concept to finish. I was quite successful, owing my prosperity to my faith in God and the talent I was blessed with.

I remarried 8 years after my late husband’s murder, and now live in the Northern Mariana Islands.

I believe happiness is an individual choice, but there were times when the circumstances in my life made it seem I had no choice but to be miserable.

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What is your struggle and when did it start?

My struggle is overcoming the shooting death of my husband which happened right before my eyes. We were married for 20 years. My husband, Patrick, struggled with depression and addiction his entire life so you could say the issues began with our marriage.

Patrick’s issues stemmed from parental physical and emotional abuse. He had radical ups and downs, and I was on that same ride alongside him. He lived as though he wanted to die, and a lot of times his daredevil ventures were a lot of fun for me.

But his suicide attempts were not, and I lived in fear that I might find him dead in the garage at any given time. Yet I stood beside him, eager to fix what was wrong.

My struggles were even darker after I witnessed his inhumane and unnecessary murder by law enforcement. It was an unspeakable horror that I eventually summoned up enough courage to write about.

In doing so I had to reveal the truth about my own shortcomings, as I am not blameless in all of this. This true story unfolds in the book I wrote as part of my recovery, Immune To Murder, which is currently being made into a movie.

Early on I tried to find happiness in everything I could, but when it came to my late husband’s depression, even surfing or running couldn’t make me feel better long enough.

I found myself on anti-depression medication to cope. The medication did not work long-term and I had to find other ways to cope, to heal myself. I still think about it every day.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

First Patrick’s depression caused work issues. He was so depressed that he didn’t go to work for 6 months, I was angry about having to work extra hard without his contribution.

When I would go into the garage in the morning and find him asleep in the van instead of at work, I would feel desperate. He would ignore me, which infuriated me. At the same time, I lived a life of fear that I would find him dead. I felt useless and forgotten. He treated me as if I wasn’t even there.

His work issue caused me to live in fear that we would drown in debt and never get our lives back. The anxiety of having to work so hard because he wasn’t made me put that before everything else.

My friends wanted to know what was happening but I ignored them, ignored my family, and even ignored Patrick. I was angry at him almost incessantly.

He ignored me for so long that out of revenge I had an affair to try to get him to pay attention to me. He still ignored me, which fueled the fire to continue the affair. The affair made me feel terrible and I really hated myself. It was the lowest I could go, and all it did was hurt all the way to the tragic end.

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Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

My business eventually began to take off and I started to earn more money. I thought that might change things. The extra money enabled me to buy Patrick all types of items I thought he would like and enjoy. He found temporary satisfaction in the acquisition of material things.

He hoarded surfboards, skateboards, and guns. He had multiple of all these things, which I knew we didn’t need. But I kept my mouth shut because I knew it made him happy. We also went on 3-4 vacations a year.

This was a great time for both of us. I was happy when he was happy. He was not suicidal during this time, and this was during the first 13 years of our marriage. We were both having the time of our lives.

This lies in sharp contrast to my indescribable terror as I watched my husband die, shot to death right in front of me. It took me a long time to get over the shock, and there is a part of me that will never stop grieving.

Years later, I met my present husband. I felt love again after so much pain. Writing Immune To Murder helped me sort out the confusion I still felt as to why things happened the way they did.

It gave me the opportunity to share my experiences with the hope that my true story may help others by increasing awareness about mental illness and not avoiding speaking out about this very critical issue.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

First, one thing to avoid is spending money on material things. A new this or that may give you some momentary happiness but won’t help in the long run.

Trying to keep my husband out of depression was costly with vacations, toys, and more. It began to take a toll on our credit cards and we entered a journey into a spiraling abyss of debt. When we stopped spending it put a strain on our marriage. He would still buy things we didn’t need.

We enjoyed surfing and water-related sports but when he walked into our house with our 36^th surfboard, I had to say something besides that it was beautiful.

I told him we didn’t need it. He told me he bought it with his money. But his money was our money. I didn’t keep fighting about it because he was happy. It was impossible to talk sense to him.

At that point, I focused on the memories I had of our good times and made it my mission to get them back. So I worked extra hard, long nights and weekends.

This took me away from Patrick and made me focus on something other than him, which was good for me, but not good for our marriage, even though we needed the money. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.

After his murder, I seriously thought about joining him. But I had a beautiful daughter and two loving dogs. I thought of my family whose grief would be compounded if I took my life away from them.

One thing I did was to force myself to get back into the water, something I loved instead of staying in the house crying. Getting back to surfing began my journey to a new “me”.

The ocean has a way of washing away whatever feels wrong. This was my best therapy. I strongly advise others to find something they love to do and rekindle their spirit to make good things happen.

A second thing I did was to find ways to laugh. I read astrophysics textbooks out loud to my dogs at night in my best but very bad British accent. It made me laugh at myself.

I also slept on Patrick’s side of the bed, which made me feel less alone. I prayed a lot. In a terrible way, I felt relief that I didn’t have to worry about Patrick killing himself anymore. I wanted to be alone because I didn’t want to burden others with my grief. This felt right to me.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Sharing these issues was difficult. It was no secret to my friends and family that something was wrong in my relationship with Patrick especially when we were all together.

His behavior was unpredictable and bizarre. I always covered for him, even when he was embarrassing me. He acted crazy and I was his caretaker.

One could say he ruled my life, but I let him. I loved him intensely and he was a lot of fun. When things got bad for us, some of my friends would tell me I should think about divorce, but I didn’t want to because I still had it in my head that I was going to fix him.

He was my life, and I enjoyed the challenge of keeping him happy because I was happy when he was. I thought divorce would push him over the edge into suicide mode and I wouldn’t even consider it.

In order to get my anti-depression medication, I had to go see a psychiatrist. I told him my story but the sessions did not help me. I had to repeat myself over and over again, reminding myself of my misery, which in turn kept me from escaping it. I was not able to get any advice that I didn’t already know. I found it to be a gut-wrenching waste of time.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Do what you love, even when you’re still hurting. The more you do what you love the better you will feel.

You can’t change a person. Either you can live with your circumstances or you can’t. Change what you can change. It’s a choice that’s never easy. The choice I made to stay with my husband through his worst times was one I don’t regret.

I believe I delayed his self-destruction and therefore prolonged his life. I tried to give him the best life possible. I think this made me a much stronger person.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

This may sound weird, but reading textbooks on subjects that were challenging for me in college helped me think about something other than my pain. Reading out loud kept my mind from wandering, and I began to ask myself questions while I read.

This prompted me to do a lot of research and I learned a lot. It took my mind away from wallowing in horrible memories and made me think of a world much larger than myself. This was a huge step for me.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

My book, Immune To Murder is available on Amazon. It reveals the entire truth about my life living with someone who was mentally ill… 

You can also read more about me here, or on Instagram and Facebook.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

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Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Navigating the Tragic Death of My Husband and Finding Purpose Again appeared first on Tracking Happiness.