Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hello! I’m Heythem. I hold a Psychology degree and am deeply passionate about martial arts. This combination fuels my blog, exploring the intersections of mental and physical health.

My home is in Trier, Germany, where I grew up. However, my love for travel often takes me around the globe, and I share these adventures on my blog.

Besides my dedication to writing and studying, I’m a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioner. Whether at home in Trier or exploring new corners of the world, I’m always engaged in writing, studying, traveling, and doing Jiu-Jitsu.

It took me a long to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Now I feel I got it, and that keeps me motivated and confident for the future. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

A few years ago, when I started going to University, I felt lost. I had a hard time integrating with the new environment. Looking back I can say that my experience with social anxiety and depressive symptoms started there. Although I believe I wouldn’t have been officially diagnosed with these disorders, I experienced many symptoms. 

It started in 2019 when I began university in Luxembourg after spending some time traveling in Australia and Asia post-high school. As an Iraqi immigrant in Germany, I often struggled to fit in, and this feeling intensified when I returned to start my studies.

Initially, I was motivated to be part of the new environment, but inside, I felt out of place. I remember how exhausting it was to maintain a persona just to be liked. Over time, this constant effort began to wear me down. 

I started avoiding social situations and isolating myself. My self-esteem plummeted, and I often felt inferior to others in every pursuit. In social settings, I’d stutter and speak too fast, a big contrast to my usual self. My energy levels dropped; I slept a lot and lost interest in activities I once enjoyed.

This internal struggle was a new experience for me. Before university, people perceived me as social and happy, but the reality was quite different internally.

The past traumas of not fitting in came back, and the feeling of being an outsider crept up, leaving me feeling like I did in high school. It was gradual, from trying hard to fit into avoiding most social interactions altogether. 

It’s funny looking back. I left Germany after High school because I wanted to escape my troubles. And I did so eventually during my travels. 

But this is not how it works with problems. They don’t just leave you alone if you don’t confront from. I came back to my usual environment and the same issues came back again. 

So the first lesson I learned is to confront my issues. To look at the things I don’t want to look at. Because eventually, they will catch up on me. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

This struggle affected my happiness and well-being. Inside, I felt empty and numb. This wasn’t just a fleeting feeling but a constant state that made every day dull. 

I used to smile often, but that started to fade away.

What made this struggle worse was my lack of awareness about what I was going through. For a long time, I didn’t realize that the feelings I was experiencing were symptoms of anxiety and depression. I would rationalize avoiding social events or changing interests as normal shifts in mood or preference. 

I just thought I was too lazy or that I had better things to do. It’s fascinating to me to look back and see that I was not willing to see what was right in front of me. I was willing to be blind about my problems. I’d look away and find excuses for my behaviors. 

Because of this, the people around me were unaware of my internal struggles. They didn’t know because I hadn’t fully grasped it until later in my studies.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I hit rock bottom beginning of 2022. My girlfriend and I broke up. The only person who I was actually letting close to me. Looking back I can see that I wasn’t fair toward her. I’d let my frustration and anger out on her.

She wanted to be there for me but I’d push her away and drain myself in self-sorrow. That breakup left me feeling depressed and unwilling to interact with anyone. But hitting this low point was a wake-up call. I knew then that I needed to change something.

I knew that my life wasn’t heading where I wanted it to. 

When I started University I remember arriving at university filled with ambition, motivation, and a lust for life, but three years later, I was completely drained. This needed to change. I needed to take responsibility.

This realization led me to take a new direction. I had always been interested in MMA but never pursued it. There was this MMA gym I passed every day, just a five-minute walk from my place. I finally decided to give it a try. And it changed everything for me. 

I became obsessed with training, going 5-6 times a week. It was more than just physical activity; it was my escape, my therapy. It calmed me and reignited feelings I thought I had lost. I found a new ambition and drive in MMA. 

Within a month or two of starting, I began socializing again, attending events, and even going out for drinks. I was engaging with the world again.

The funny thing is, the MMA Gym was always right there. I passed it every day, thinking that I’ll go inside one day. It took me 3 years. 

I had to hit rock bottom first. It’s true that sometimes things need to get unbearable before we change something.

Looking back, I see a clear divide in my life: the time before MMA and the time after. The difference is huge. Starting MMA marked the beginning of a significant change, a shift in my life’s direction.

Ironically my girlfriend leaving me was the best thing that happened to me. It was the lowest point in my life. I felt like I lost everything at that moment. It made me get up and change my life.

So whenever I face a challenge now I think of this low point in my life. Now I know that challenges come into our lives to teach us something. That’s life’s way of talking to us. It’s leading us to something better. Dark times are our teacher. We just need to listen. And I wasn’t willing to for a long time. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Overcoming symptoms of depression and anxiety isn’t easy, obviously. For me, the first step was recognizing that I was experiencing these symptoms. This took some time and self-reflection.

In therapy, this is always the first step: Realization. If we are blind about our struggles, no healing will come. 

I had to sit down and honestly ask myself questions like, “Am I avoiding going out because I’m lazy or because I’m anxious?” and “Do I feel tired more often than usual?”, “Where did my drive and motivation go?”, “Why do I have so much resistance toward social gatherings?”.

I still remember the first time I considered that I may suffer from anxiety. I never thought of myself as an anxious guy. But that’s the tricky part about anxiety. It’s not always obvious. It can hide itself behind laziness, resistance, jealousy, and apathy. This realization was huge for me. 

Once I acknowledged these feelings, the next challenge was to take action, which is the last thing you feel like doing when you’re depressed or anxious. However, I learned that inactivity often fuels these symptoms. My body was practically screaming for physical activity. 

I felt a significant shift when I started giving it what it needed through MMA training. I became more confident and energetic. Alongside physical activity, eating healthier and treating my body well made a huge difference. It responded by being calmer and more resilient.

Of course, this doesn’t always help when you are stuck in depression. But now, whenever somebody tells me that they are depressed, my first question is always: Are you moving your body? I’m amazed how many of us avoid this step. 

Our bodies are designed to move. It doesn’t work properly if it’s inactive. And an unhealthy body means an unhealthy mind.

I also made a conscious effort to step out of my comfort zone. Knowing now that I had anxiety, I wanted to gradually expose myself to situations that triggered it. For example, I went to a pub where a friend was DJing, even though many of my university colleagues were there. 

It was tough, but I did it. I also participated in poetry slams, initiated lunch plans with peers at uni, and more. Each small step was a victory for me.

This process of realization, observation, and action made everything more manageable. I started to watch my emotions instead of being consumed by them.

With time, the symptoms of depression and anxiety didn’t disappear, but I became better at handling them. They are still part of my life, but now, they are under my control.

I see them now. I can spot them once they come up. So now it’s easier for me to let go of them.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

When I came to terms with my struggles, I chose to be open about them with my close friends. Reconnecting with many of them, I shared what was happening in my mind. This openness brought us closer, and their understanding and support were helpful. 

I also sought help from the university counselor, who assisted students with mental health issues. These conversations were also very valuable to me.

Talking about my struggles openly made the process of dealing with them much easier. Interestingly, when I shared my experiences, some of my friends began to reflect on their own mental health, wondering if they were facing similar challenges. This sharing helped me and opened a door for others to consider their own mental well-being.

There’s a saying that says: “The most personal experiences are the most universal ones”. That’s why it’s so important that we share our personal struggles with other people. Not only will it help us, but it will also help others to see their own struggles. 

But I understand that like physical activity, talking about our issues is not at all what we want to do when we struggle. It’s because talking about it will make it real. But in order to heal we need to make it real first. We need to face it. Share it. Confront it.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Move your body and look at the things you don’t want to look at. 

My piece of advice for anyone struggling with depression or anxiety is to move your body as much as you can. It might sound simple, but it’s incredibly effective.

Physical activity calms the mind, creating a clearer state to confront and address your problems. It’s a common tendency to do the opposite when we’re depressed: lying in bed, staying inactive. But it’s crucial to break this cycle.

I urge you to force yourself to get up and engage in any physical activity you enjoy. It could be a walk, a bike ride, or a visit to the gym. The key is to get out of your home and move.

For me, this approach worked wonders. It’s a proactive step that can make a significant difference in how you feel and handle your mental health struggles.

But that’s often not enough. In our lowest states, we don’t feel like doing anything. We want to be blind and just look away. But this will make it worse. We need to take responsibility and make an effort to look inside.

I will leave you with a quote from Carl Jung that stuck with me and I think holds true: What you most need will be found where you least want to look”

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer: This book was transformative for me. It taught me that the thoughts in my head aren’t who I am. Through his teachings, I learned to be present and to observe my emotions rather than being consumed by them.

It helped me understand myself better and see my anxiety and depression as entities separate from my core self. It was empowering to recognize that these symptoms are not an intrinsic part of me and that I can overcome them. This book is a powerful resource for anyone seeking insight into their inner self.

Works of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung

Also, talks and writings of Freud and Jung offered me a deep dive into psychodynamic theories. Their belief that healing comes from understanding one’s psyche resonated with me. They emphasize the importance of diving into our past and facing aspects of ourselves we might be reluctant to confront.

Their insights were crucial in helping me understand the roots of my struggles. As Freud and Jung advocate, this understanding is the first and most crucial step toward healing. Their works are a treasure trove for anyone seeking to explore the depths of their psyche and find pathways to healing.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

If you’re interested in reading more about my work, especially on mental and physical health, MMA, and supplementation, feel free to visit my website at heythemnaji.com. I regularly share insights and experiences there, focusing on these topics.

Also, I’m always open to connecting with new people and engaging in meaningful conversations. If you’d like to reach out, please don’t hesitate. You can contact me through my Instagram or LinkedIn.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Overcoming Social Anxiety and Depression Through MMA Training and Self-Realization appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi! I’m Sharanya Ramakrishnan, a 31-year-old woman living in Seattle, USA with my wonderful fiance and our 3-year-old Siberian Husky boy, Archer.

I work for Amazon Web Services as a Senior Tech Product Manager. I moved to the United States in 2016, to pursue my Master’s degree and have lived here since, building my career in tech, like so many others.

I grew up thousands of miles away in Bangalore, India, with doting parents whose lives revolved (and still do, to be honest) around my younger sister and me. They both worked very hard to provide us with all the opportunities we could ask for.

My dad has always been my biggest cheerleader. In his mind – there’s nothing his daughter can’t achieve if she wants to. My mother has been an absolute inspiration – though her education was cut shorter than she’d have liked, she used her thirst for knowledge to build a career she absolutely loved. Growing up, my sister and I had our love-hate phases but now, she is my person. I can’t imagine life without her. 

I feel grateful to live in the Pacific Northwest because I get to enjoy the great outdoors. I spend my weekends hiking, reading, volunteering, and exploring Seattle neighborhoods on long walks with my dog.

Archer and I welcomed my fiance into our lives about 2 years ago. I treasure the little moments we spend together as a family. They’re the ones who keep me going through life’s good and bad days.

When someone asks me, “Are you happy?”, I often say that I definitely am, based on my definition of happiness. I’ve realized that for me, happiness is being at peace mentally.

Having gone from a cheerful, easy-going yet ambitious young woman in her early 20s to an anxious, self-critical adult with low self-confidence in her late 20s to my present self now, I can say that I am grateful, therefore I am happy. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My struggle with Anxiety and Depression started with a mini-panic attack in early 2017. While it continued with minor instances, I hit my worst phase in late 2020 and struggled through most of 2021.

I was officially diagnosed with Clinical Depression in early 2022 and have been on antidepressants since October 2022. Yes, it sounds like a calendar of events, Depression milestones of sorts.

But what most people may not understand is that you never know when you’re going to have a panic attack. You never know when you’re going to wake up next with a horrible knot in your stomach, not wanting to leave your bed because that means your day has begun.

You, like me, may not even realize you’re HAVING a panic attack the first time. I still have the image etched in my mind. It was during my Masters and I had an assignment due in 6 hours. Simple, easy one which would probably take me an hour to complete.

But, for whatever reason, I sat there on my chair, feeling my hands and feet get very cold. I was scared but couldn’t logically explain why. It felt like I froze, mentally. I was numb.

Since then, I’ve had panic attacks ranging from cold hands and feet to lying on the floor crying my eyes out as a knot in my chest grew bigger and left me gasping, unable to breathe. But these are instances.

The part that was hardest to deal with was waking up every day, for months, going through your day, and doing the bare minimum. Because I just could not find a reason to do anything. I did not have the energy to live my life and that crushed me the most. 

Until I planned to leave home and move to the United States, life was a very balanced game of effort and reward. I worked hard in school, was consistently among the top students, and reaped my rewards in terms of appreciation and awards, job offers, etc.

The first blow was when I walked up confidently for my F1 student visa interview, with stellar grades and an admission to a University ranked among the top 5 in the US for my course, only to be rejected without any explanation.

This hit me hard. I’d done everything academically to stay on the path I’d dreamed of and convinced my parents, who had second thoughts about me living all alone in a new country so I was mentally preparing myself for the upcoming new chapter in life.

I managed to re-apply for my Visa and make it the same year to grad school. But, this was the first time in my life when I learned that it isn’t always an effort = reward game. 

Fast forward a few years, a few more life lessons but mostly a good life overall, and then came the time when all our lives came to a standstill. The Pandemic of 2020.

What started off as a week of working from home, while visiting my then (now ex) fiance was the beginning of the darkest phase of my depression. In 2020, I got stuck in Seattle for months, away from my home in the Bay Area where I was working then.

Coincidentally, I ended up interviewing and landing an offer with AWS and decided to move cities in mid-2020. So, I left behind the place that felt closest to home since my time in the US, the Bay Area, and all my friends.

I moved to Seattle, a city where I barely knew anyone, thinking it might be a good time to live with my fiance before getting married in November 2020. 

So, we started living together and I began my journey at AWS with an overdose of anxiety and imposter syndrome in July 2020. I let my love for dogs overrule my practicality and we got a puppy together, my first dog ever, Archer, in August 2020.

And somewhere between juggling a highly competitive tech job, raising a pup for the first time (a high-energy husky at that), struggling to communicate with my partner, and feeling isolated without my support system of friends during the pandemic, I slipped into what felt like a hopeless abyss.

Externally, people saw someone with a successful career, a relationship inching towards the wedding, and a beautiful pup to add to the joy. Internally, it was anxious days with constant self-doubt at work and a  relationship that was crumbling under the weight of the pandemic. 

We pushed out the wedding, eventually ending the engagement and I moved out, to live alone for the first time with an almost 1-year-old pup to take care of. My parents, like most Indian parents, viewed their daughter getting married as the mark of successfully raising their child.

It broke their heart when they learned about the break-up. It was the hardest few months of my life. But, this phase also pushed me on a journey of self-discovery, reflection, growth, and healing. 

I’ve been in therapy for almost 2 years now, with weekly therapy sessions and daily medication. I can now confidently say that I have the ability to tackle whatever life throws at me and hope that I don’t experience a drawn-out phase of struggle like before.

I still have days every couple of weeks when I feel empty inside but know how to help myself out of it. Panic attacks are still slightly more difficult to handle but having my anxiety medication handy has helped immensely.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

My struggle with Anxiety and Depression impacted every facet of my life. There have been days when I felt so unlike the “me” I knew my whole life that I stopped and questioned when I changed so much.

I went from seeing myself as a carefree and confident optimist to a paranoid, underconfident person. I questioned everything from my job offers to my promotion and felt like I didn’t deserve them.

My anxious-avoidant attachment style coupled with depression during the pandemic had a drastic impact on my relationship choices. I didn’t stand up for myself and willingly gave up my time and energy, seeking validation.

Ultimately, I was in a place where nothing really excited me or made me happy anymore, I felt like I had no purpose in life. My only reason to get out of bed in the morning was my dog.

Even this came with a sense of extreme guilt, that he might have a happier life with a loving family rather than someone struggling to juggle work, health issues, and taking care of himself. 

After my broken engagement, I leaned on my friends and family for support. In my personal life, I’ve always been open about my emotions with close friends but never really spoke out about the bad days and struggles with depression.

My sister was my only confidant for the longest time. I gradually started being more vocal about it with a few people after starting therapy and spending time on my personal growth.

However, I’ve never spoken openly with friends or colleagues about how I’ve struggled at work as a result of my anxiety or depression. I’m now slightly more open to talking about it but was always scared that talking about it while going through the struggle would affect my career growth. 

I’ve never thought about self-harm, having seen firsthand how it affects family when someone chooses to end their life. However, there have been many times when I wished I just disappeared, erased. No one would remember my existence and nobody would be in pain.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

There were a few moments in 2022 when I felt…light. It felt like I was carrying something heavy in my head for a long time and finally, someone removed it. My mind was constantly racing with pessimistic thoughts, overthinking past situations, future fears, what I could have done differently, etc.

I tried to fill every spare second with self-help audio books, YouTube videos, and mental health blogs to help me navigate the overthinking that was taking over my life.

And then slowly, gradually, without me consciously realizing it, I had a shift in perspective. I felt more gratitude for the growth and learning that came out of my difficult experiences, than the pain they’d caused.

I started cherishing my time alone in thought and the peace that came along. I started waking up looking forward to experiences again. But the biggest difference I remember is after I started my medication in October 2022 and waking up one morning in January 2023, feeling like my old, cheerful self. That was a beautiful day.

I would say that 50% of my mindset shift came from self-reflection during therapy and personal growth-focused learning. The rest I would attribute to actions – everything from walking my dog several times a day, which meant stepping out and moving my body even on the worst days, to including exercise as part of my lifestyle and building a support system of close friends. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I had tried therapy once, way back in early 2019, but didn’t find it helpful. I tried it again in 2020 and early 2021 but did not find it very helpful. I felt like I was summarizing what was happening in my life to someone, that’s it.

I kept at it and connected enough with one therapist to take about 4 sessions. Her approach was different and I found the sessions to be slightly helpful.

However, we couldn’t connect enough to continue further. And then in March 2022, I found my current therapist who I’ve met almost every week, for more than a year now. I cannot quantify the immense impact she has had on my life, I just know I’ll be grateful to her for the rest of my life.

Now, I often tell friends that finding a therapist can be very similar to dating. It is important to find the right person! The key difference I now realize was all the other therapists approached the sessions as a one-time visit rather than something more.

My therapist started our first session by discussing my goals from therapy. What aspect of my life did I want to improve and how? This by itself was a great reflective exercise. 

She took the time to listen to my life map or a timeline of every year of my life and whatever I remember, until now. I believe those sessions set the foundation to help her understand who I am, my interactions with family, how I view myself in the world, etc.

She helped me uncover my relationship attachment style and how I can work on moving towards a secure, healthy relationship. She helped me realize that I was functioning from a place of depleted energy, without putting in the effort into self-care to replenish lost energy.

For example, she uncovered my people-pleasing tendency, which meant saying yes to all social commitments and then overpacking my days with them, at the expense of any time that I could get for myself.

This meant I could not recharge and replenish my energy but ended up losing more trying to keep everyone else happy. Fatigue, low energy, and lack of interest stemmed from here for me.

She helped me understand the true meaning of self-care – daily routines focused on good food, sufficient sleep, regular exercise, and mindfulness. She provided me with tools to manage my anxiety, from grounding techniques to breathwork and clay work.

She’s had a great impact on helping me heal and when I say that the rewards from the right therapist are priceless, I truly hope everyone in need of therapy works to find the right therapist for them and not give up.

I now realize that cognitive understanding is very important for me to navigate life. I spent a lot of time trying to work on and resolve relationship issues for the first time in my life, rather than ignoring them.

I felt like I needed answers to the “Why did this happen to me?” question that comes up in our minds so often during bitter life experiences. So, I sought to understand more about relationships, mental health, what makes us react to situations and why everyone reacts differently, etc.

I read self-help books, listened to podcasts, and watched videos on these topics. I did this every day, to fill any spare time I had because it seemed to feel “productive” at the time. I also spent time discussing this topic with a few close friends who could relate to my experiences. I didn’t know that consuming this type of content was slowly shifting my perspective.

For example, I remember dealing with bouts of anger and irritability as a side-effect of depression. It was often directed at family and I always regretted it later. I learned about the concept of “responding” and not “reacting” to situations and tried to consciously implement this every time I felt myself on the verge of losing my temper. 

Another aspect that I cannot stress enough is exercise. Throughout this time, I’ve had months where I exercised regularly at least 3-4 times a week, and a few weeks without exercising.

I’ve noticed a significant difference in my mood and energy levels during weeks when I’m not exercising. I have more bad days or low-energy days during such weeks and feel physically weak, even if it is a week of regular routine without any exercise.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Yes, I’ve shared all of it with my sister, I consider her my pillar of strength. My fiance is also familiar with my journey and is very supportive. I’ve also shared parts of it with a few close friends, though most aren’t aware of my medications. 

I did not feel comfortable talking to my colleagues about this. As mentioned before, I had (and probably still do) hesitations about how they may respond to it and the impact it can have on my career growth.  

By nature, I’m someone who has been comfortable discussing struggles with close friends – more of an open-book kinda person. I wouldn’t say I find it hard to share most things, but a handful of topics are harder.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Always remember that there will be happier days and you deserve to experience and enjoy them. It may take weeks, months, or even years, but all the work you put into improving your mental health is the best gift you can give yourself.

Most of all, your happiness depends only on one person in your entire life, the only one who will be with you forever – yourself. Any happiness you receive from other sources – be it parents, partners, or friends, is adding to the core. It is NOT the core.

This is why it is so important to learn to spend time enjoying your company, being your #1 support system, and treating yourself with love and self-compassion. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• YouTube channel: Psych2Go – This was a valuable channel to help me dive into my symptoms and get a better handle through useful, practical tips to manage depression. The short format videos make it easy to consume. 
• YouTube channel: Sadhguru – I’ve never been religious or a very spiritual person, all my life. However, when things were falling apart and I sought answers, this channel seemed to provide them. 
• YouTube channel: Better Than Yesterday – I found tips in this channel helpful on days when I had to motivate myself to get the bare minimum done. 
• Book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and Everything is F*cked by Mark Manson – I found both the books easy to grasp, straightforward, practical and they approach life from a “how to embrace change” and be selective about the problems we want in our lives, which is helpful. Focusing on the “good problems” mindset is helpful when you’re feeling like the victim. 
• Book: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle – At a time when I had so many questions about how life worked, how people changed, and what I did wrong, this book was a guiding light for self-reflection. It has powerful information that if you choose to read and absorb, it will definitely help you become a calmer and more balanced person
• Book: Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty – Great book for when you feel like you don’t have a purpose in life and feel restless constantly or are in limbo, going with the wind through life. 

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find me on LinkedIn and Instagram.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Navigated Anxiety, Depression and Panic Attacks As I Settled Abroad in a New World appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi! I’m Beth, and I live in Philadelphia with my two teenage children and our two adorable dogs. We love the bustling grittiness of the city and all the charm that it holds, but the best part is being surrounded by my very animated Italian family.

I love spending time with my family, reading, writing, and watching movies of every genre…from Marvel to Musicals and everything in between. I also love to travel and look forward to taking the kids to Europe this summer.

I’ve been blessed with a successful career in sales and marketing that has spanned three decades. So, yes, I am happy as I work at it daily. I’m very intentional about cultivating and maintaining my happiness, as that was not always the case.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I’ve struggled with depression throughout my life. 2020 was the perfect storm in every aspect of my life that didn’t just knock the wind from my sails—it sank the entire ship. Rock bottom. Lowest of lows.

A romantic break-up seven years far past its expiration date. I lost my job the week after I closed on a new home. Losing my beloved father to COVID-19 in the very early stages of the pandemic. Social isolation.

All of it contributed to a crippling depression that essentially rendered me emotional roadkill. This was not my first encounter with depression. I first experienced depression after the birth of my first child, who was born two months premature.

The fear and trauma of the experience necessitated counseling and prescription medication, and I was so grateful for their therapeutic assistance.

I experienced another depressive episode following my divorce—the reality of only having my children half the time torpedoed me, given their young ages.

No one talks about that part of the equation, and I was not ready for it. I was inconsolable without them. Once again, counseling and antidepressants were my savior.

Those two experiences primed the pump so that when 2020 hit so hard, I could recognize it for what it was…depression and take proactive steps to combat it.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Hopeless. I abandoned every health habit in my life and just wallowed in my depression. My coping mechanisms were a master class in what not to do:

Isolation, ruminating thoughts of my father dying by himself, alone and scared, surrounded only by occasional strangers in hazmatlike PPE clothing (this was a particularly effective form of emotional cutting and torture); junk food; not getting out of bed or showering; not answering my phone; and lots of wine—like red Solo cups full.

I was a train wreck. Plain and simple.

Since it was during the social isolation and stay-at-home order of the pandemic (California was particularly strict), my family and friends had no idea. Many found out for the first time when they read my book.

Because on top of the depression, I was ashamed. I was ashamed of how hard I had fallen. Shame is the worst …as it imprisons you to suffer in silence.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Yes, there was a specific a-ha moment, actually. I was at rock bottom for a few months—a fact further underscored the day I realized I was walking around the house with my head down. I mean literally, not figuratively.

This realization was a rude awakening. I couldn’t believe I’d let my circumstances defeat me in the way that they had. I knew then that I needed to pivot ASAP for myself and my two beautiful children.

I was determined to do whatever it took, whatever was recommended, whatever worked to move the needle from rock bottom to mountaintop. I drank from the fire hydrant of positive psychology and voraciously read articles, research papers, and books on the topic.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I became an intentional warrior about everything—thoughts/affirmations, diet, sleep, exercise, gratitude, faith, social support, vision, goals, etc. Literally everything. Cultivating happiness is a constant practice.

Your daily life, ergo your state of mind, is dictated by your daily choices—day in, day out. Small, consistent steps are the foot soldiers that win the crusade for hope and happiness. You have to be in it to win it.

This means living with intention and not just operating on autopilot; creating a life based on choices, not habits; and practicing the sort of person you want to be each day.

Sounds simple? It is. But it’s not easy. It takes commitment and intention. Full stop.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Once on the other side of depression, I decided to repurpose the pain. For some reason, recounting my journey from roadkill to redemption was important. I wanted to share the simple strategies that helped me escape from rock bottom.

And once I started, the words poured from what felt like the floodgates of my soul. Corny, perhaps, but gutting yourself in black and white print can be even more harrowing than having lived it in Technicolor. Unsure where it was heading, I was willing to let the words lead.

A quote from Brené Brown served as my guiding principle while writing the book. Simply stated, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.”

This was such a beautiful notion of paying it forward, removing any grandiose inklings of ego from the equation and instead focus on what someone else may possibly gain from my story.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I don’t regret the dark threads that color my life tapestry as it’s part of its ultimate beauty. Part of my story. I emerged more present, compassionate, and grateful. Resilient and stronger. Softer even.

But most importantly, I am rooted by having happiness habits be the norm rather than the exception. That way, next time a storm comes (and it will come), my happiness will not be easily swayed, helpless like a leaf in the wind.

And that is my wish for everyone.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

There are several books that I re-read regularly because the lessons are so profound they are worth revisiting again and again.

Specifically, I love Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

From Veep to Boss to Happiness Junkie, persuasive storytelling is my superpower. I’m thrilled to add “author” to that list as my book, Happy AF: Simple Strategies to Get Unstuck, Bounce Back, and Live Your Best Life, will debut in November 2023.

I would love to connect with readers. Feel free to reach out at the following:

• My website
• Instagram
• X / Twitter

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

Happiness is being present in the now. There is no happiness destination. The journey is the destination. There is no happy when, happy because, or happy if. The Deferred Happiness Plan sucks. Its compounding interest annihilates happiness in the now. Obliterates it, actually.

Don’t wait on something, someone, or some event to be happy. Just be happy. Now. Being fully immersed in the present is integral to happiness. Happiness is a choice, not a result.

Also, rock bottom can actually be a springboard for something even better. To remember that being knocked down doesn’t define you. It’s our bounce that defines us.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Journey From Rock Bottom to Living With Intention and Cultivating Happiness Everyday appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, my name is Ayman, I’m from Morocco, and I’m a Computer Science student (currently in my 4th year of studies). I’m single for the time being.

I consider myself to be happy. Even though I went through some bad things at the relatively young age of 22, I’m very grateful for what I have, and most importantly, who I am now.

I am a really active person. I’ve practiced all kinds of sports all my life, from karate and running to football and swimming. I also enjoy playing chess!

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

It started after my first relationship of 3 years ended. After this break-up, I wasn’t aware of the bad things that I allowed to happen in my life.

I was blinded and I only saw the good and neglected everything that seemed bad. I didn’t face the reality of the situation.

This resulted in many different issues: I started to experience an anxiety disorder, an eating disorder (I lost around 10 kg), depression, trust issues, and other mental problems as well.

I was becoming this person that I didn’t recognize anymore, all while drifting away from being the person I wanted to be.

I tried going to a psychotherapist for a few sessions but that didn’t work out for me as intended.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

3 months into the break-up, I still struggled a lot. I had all kinds of mental problems. I wasn’t able to sleep at night and didn’t feel happy at all throughout this period.

This low point was during the holidays, so I was staying home all day long. Not a good situation.

Everyone around me felt like something was wrong with me, yet no one could help me. And I was painfully aware of this. At some point, I realized that the only person that can help me is myself and only myself.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

At one point, I had a realization. Time will continue to move on regardless of what I do. And as long as I don’t take action, my situation will not change but time will move on. I can wait for something miraculous to happen, but that won’t lead to any results.

After this realization, I started to actively think of solutions. I embraced the mindset of an engineer: I initiated my problem-solving mindset and dedicated myself to finding a way out of my struggles.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

So after looking for solutions, I found 3 things that helped me to really change my situation.

First, I started making time to study things that can help my mind think. Specifically, I started thinking more of solutions, rather than problems.

Second, I started going to the gym, every single day. This was really important because the habit of working out and unloading negative energy trickled down into many other aspects of my life.

Lastly, I started to nourish my soul. Maybe some of you might not agree with me due to the fact that we all have different beliefs. But for me, this really helped:

I become close to God (Allah). My relationship with him was a priority for me and I was feeling more energized than ever. I started reading the Quran every day, at least 5 pages per day.

As a result, my mindset switched significantly. I saw positive things in everything that surrounded me, even if it was the most negative thing on earth.

When you thank God for everything and become grateful for everything, everything becomes easier.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

At first, I talked about this with my small family. After that, I told some close friends about it (but not with too many details). However, I found out that this didn’t help me as much because I felt like no one understood me.

Therefore, I started talking to God about this. This changed everything for me.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I wish I had someone to tell me that the real problem is often your mindset. Therefore, you should really just focus on your thinking rather than seeing others as the problems.

And most importantly, learn to forgive yourself!

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Atomic Habits: This book helped me build up good habits & break bad ones.
• Better Ideas – YouTube: This channel helped me with the same thing as the book.
• Jeff Nippard – YouTube: This channel helped me stay on point with my gym workouts.
• Matt D’Avella – YouTube: This channel helped me start changing for good.
• Micha Fit – YouTube: This channel helped me with the gym as well.
• Mustafa Hosny – YouTube: This channel helped me realize what I was doing wrong and fix it.
• Tony Robbins – YouTube: This channel helped me grow.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

• Ayman’s Instagram
• Ayman’s LinkedIn

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Religion and Exercising Helped Me Grow From my First Breakup appeared first on Tracking Happiness.