Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi! I’m so honored to be here. My name is Sarah Ezrin. I’m an author and yoga teacher based in the Bay Area where I live with my two little boys (four and one and a half years old), husband, and our dog. I released my first non-fiction book five months ago today! It’s called The Yoga of Parenting and is definitely my third baby. 

I’m a freelancer for a number of different print and online publications and write on the subjects of parenthood, wellness, and mental health, often interweaving all three.

Though I still consider myself a yoga teacher, I’m not currently teaching on a schedule anywhere. But I still prioritize moving my body and try to do some kind of physical activity every day. I love mindful movement.

I definitely consider myself happy, overall, but I’m also scared 24/7. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, so often I will feel anxious or worried without a specific cause. I just walk around with a general sense of dread. It manifests as butterflies in my solar plexus.

Some days I find myself fighting against it, trying to do everything I can to make it go away. This never works and only ends up exacerbating things! Other times, I am able to sit with it and be with it. 

Last night, I was reading in bed and I realized I didn’t feel scared and I tried to savor it, which of course, made me feel anxious!

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I’ve been grappling with mental health my entire life. I have been anxious for as long as I can remember (and the more I learn about generational trauma and epigenetics, the more I wonder if it’s been since birth!). 

At eight years old, there was a lot of turmoil in my home and I started acting out. I was misdiagnosed as having Bipolar disorder and put on a slew of medicines.

It took four years before I was accurately diagnosed with GAD and weaned off the medicine. For the next almost thirty years after that (I’m now 41), I lived with constant anxiety as my baseline. 

I fell in love with meditation and movement as temporary reliefs, but after class I would be right back where I started. I had my first son a few months before the COVID-19 shutdowns. Postpartum is already an isolating time, but then I was cut off from any support.

I was terrified from the moment he was born and deeply understood what people meant when they said, “Your heart is now walking outside of your body.”

My anxiety got progressively worse. I would be completely overwhelmed anytime I was out of the house with him. Everything seemed too loud. I was plagued by intrusive thoughts.

There were times I would be frozen and unable to take action. Sometimes that would happen while out in public with him. I was also incredibly angry. Angry with my husband, the medical system, and the world. 

When my son was around 8 months old, I found a psychiatrist I deeply trusted and he diagnosed me with Postpartum Anxiety Disorder and mild Postpartum Depression. It was a huge relief to be seen and understood and I started treatment. 

I began medication, which can be a bit of a taboo in the wellness and yoga worlds. A lot of people believe you can “heal” yourself through diet and meditation.

But I had been trying that approach my whole life and though I definitely had periods where my anxiety was lessened, this was a point where I needed way more help. I started Prozac and it literally saved my life.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At my worst moments, I felt frozen with fear and completely locked up. Like someone had poured cement over me and I was unable to move, but at the same time, my heart rate was still super fast and I had the urge to run.

I just couldn’t because I was stuck. I would be physically exhausted, but my mind wouldn’t stop, which made sleep impossible. I was terrified to hand my baby to people. Yes, there was the real threat of the pandemic, but even with close family or pods, I felt this urgency to be with him.

I couldn’t really articulate what was happening, either. Which as a writer is unusual! Instead, it would come out in anger. I couldn’t see the bigger picture. I would only see the threat or disruption.

For example, if my husband took my son for a walk and they came back ten minutes late for his nap time, I’d be furious (read: scared) when they got home that his nap schedule was tampered with, rather than grateful for the break. 

There was very little joy. I’m someone who uses humor and laughter as medicine in the darkest of times, but I couldn’t find anything funny about what was happening. Even the most joyous moments with my son were tinged with darkness and thoughts about our mortality. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

The Prozac took some time to settle into my system and in fact, I went through a week or so where I was completely wiped out and needed to sleep most of the day, but we figured out the right dosage, and little by little, everything began to feel lighter.

We had moved from our tiny apartment in San Francisco to a beautiful one-story home by the Bay, which also meant I was spending way more time outside. In SF, it’s often foggy and cold, but in Marin, the sun was shining more days than not and people were out and about. 

I think something lifted around the Fall of 2020 a month after we had lived in our new home. Our garden was filled with fallen leaves and I did a little photoshoot with the baby. I was crying and laughing because every picture was a mess. His eyes were closed or mine or the leaves were blocking the lens.

A few months prior I would have given up or gotten frustrated. Or not have the energy to continue. Instead, I was able to savor every second of the process and appreciate the blunders.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I’ve learned over the years of trial and error that there is never just one magic solution. It’s a tool kit of support and resources. All my years of yoga and meditation were still valuable, I just needed a little more help from medication.

And frankly, were it not for the Prozac calming my anxiety, I wouldn’t have been able to reap the benefits of my spiritual practices. It’s all cyclical and feeds into the next.

My advice to others going through a similar experience is not to expect any one thing to be the magic fix, but rather to embrace many different tools as a part of your mental health wellness tool kit. Also, don’t give up on something if it isn’t working.

For example, it takes a few tries to find the right dosage but also a few years to find the right therapist. Maybe yoga interests you, but you don’t like doing it in public. Try online courses. It takes time and attention, but you are worth that time and attention.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I’m very open about my journey and struggles both within my family and publicly through my social media platforms. Interestingly, I seem to be able to share more openly through my writing and online than in person, but I try to do both.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Your gut often knows what’s right for you way more clearly than society’s expectations or taboos. Trust that kind inner voice telling you that you are worth the work. You are.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

I’m a mom of two very little kids, so my favorite author is Dr. Daniel Siegel. He’s a neurobiologist who’s written a number of books about how our brains respond and ways we can rewire old traumas. My favorite book of his is Parenting From the Inside Out.

Gabor Maté is brilliant when it comes to the topics of trauma and addiction. I love his conversational style. He was recently on Dax Shepherd’s podcast, Armchair Expert and it was brilliant.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

I’m a yoga educator, content creator, and a mom living in the San Francisco Bay Area. I also wrote a book called ‘The Yoga of Parenting‘. My passion lies in supporting others on their wellness and parenting journeys. Through my writing, classes, and social media presence, I strive to create a space where everyone can feel acknowledged and understood. If you’d like to know more or connect, feel free to reach out to me on Instagram TikTok, or YouTube.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

I’m an open book and an oversharer, so I’m sure I covered more than you might have been expecting! A good question might be how things are going now.

I had a second son and the postpartum experience was completely different. It felt like a beautiful do-over and I really got to soak in the magic that is that post-birth time.

Both my sons are older now, my youngest is 1.5yr and my eldest is 4yr. My tool kit is pretty similar, though I meditate for much longer than I used to. I have also added in the program of Al-Anon which is for families and friends of alcoholics and that’s been a great source of peace for me.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Meditation and Wellness Helped Me Navigate GAD and Transform My Life appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I’m Claire E. Parsons, a lawyer, wife and mother, mindfulness teacher, blogger, and author. I practice in the areas of employment and labor, local government, and litigation in the Cincinnati area.

I’ve been practicing law for about 15 years and teaching mindfulness to lawyers and professionals for about five years. I consider myself happy now but I’ve had to fight for it. 

The happiness came when I learned to accept who I was and follow the path I wanted even though it was different from what I expected. People ask me a lot how I manage to practice law, be a mom, and do the “extra” work of teaching mindfulness and writing.

The truth is that this “extra work” energizes me and lets me use the skills and traits I don’t get to use in law practice. It helps me feel like I am making a difference in my community in multiple ways and that means a lot. Even on hard days, I think that meaning is what makes me happy.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My struggle was excessive overthinking, unchecked anxiety, difficulty asking for help, and a lack of self-compassion. This started for me as a kid. I would think for hours and days sometimes about possible problems and never ask for help. Even though I knew deep down that this was not normal, I was too ashamed and afraid to ask for help.

Usually, this problem went unnoticed because I got good grades, was good at sports, and outwardly seemed to be happy enough. In truth, I was lonely, scared, never felt good enough, and I had no ability to handle adversity because good results were how I measured my own worth. 

Though I have wonderful, supportive parents, I think some of this happened because I tried very hard to be the “good girl” in my family who didn’t make problems for other people.

Over time, this turned into perfectionism and an inability to ask for help for myself. As expectations and demands in life increased, the problems got bigger and I found myself overwhelmed frequently by trying to handle life all by myself. 

Though I got through college and law school, I had periods of depression which I managed with therapy and medication. Those provided some introspection and healing but real change for me didn’t happen until I had begun my law practice.

I still experience some of these same traits today. Some of these patterns I know are part of my personality, but the big difference now is that I am aware of my patterns and have better skills for responding to them. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

The worst moment with this struggle was when I developed a severe, but fortunately short-lived period of postpartum depression after the birth of my first daughter.

I was an associate in my law firm at the time in the first few years of practice. I was trying to manage a busy caseload and learn how to practice law.

My daughter was diagnosed with IUGR during the pregnancy and I had to do extra appointments to manage her growth. Ultimately, she remained small and I was induced at 37 weeks with a difficult labor and then I could not breastfeed her as I had planned. 

This situation threw everything about my identity into doubt. I felt like I wasn’t a good woman because I couldn’t grow and feed my baby. I felt like I had lost my career because I couldn’t focus on my law practice the way I had planned. The truth is that I felt worthless and ashamed.

While I had hidden some of my other experiences with depression, the lack of sleep after having my daughter caused me to break down. Though I am normally calm and reserved, I began crying frequently and my family became aware of my struggles.

My family pitched in to support me and help me get more sleep but ultimately my mother insisted I see a doctor about depression. It was a pivotal moment for me and one I am grateful for to this day. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Things started turning around as soon as I called the doctor to talk about PPD, but my life direction didn’t really start to change until later. Therapy and medication helped me to stabilize and start to let go of some of the more distressing and intense perfectionist thoughts.

It also helped me to grow as a mother, develop a relationship with my daughter, and see how amazing she really was. About a year after her birth, though, I was back at work and totally overwhelmed. 

It was during this time that I started meditating. I started only at 1-2 minutes a day because it was all I could handle, but it immediately helped. It helped me just to stop and notice my thoughts. It helped me to rest and manage my stress and fatigue.

Later on down the road, my practice helped me to build self-compassion and face some of the more daunting emotions and patterns, like perfectionism, self-doubt, and loneliness.

Over time, I started building and relying on my community more, getting more involved as a leader in and outside of my law firm, and writing and speaking.

Eventually, my whole career and personal life felt different and it was because I was finally living life on my terms and treating myself with kindness. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Meditation was foundational to me because it helped me see what I was thinking. This put me in a position where I could challenge my thoughts, realize that some of my actions were mere habits that I could change, and listen to the inklings that I had otherwise ignored.

This helped me face and address the negative patterns and emotions (like doubt and loneliness) and act on the good ideas I had been habitually overlooking (like writing and seeking out more speaking opportunities). 

Another thing that changed was that I started to reach out and get help. The challenges I described above made me pretty lonely because I usually did things on my own. I started to change this when I let myself follow my passions by joining and leading organizations.

I also got a great mentor through one of the organizations and, for the first time, got advice and input from someone instead of doing everything alone. 

In combination, meditation helped me develop some basic self-care strategies so that I could get in touch with who I was and manage difficulty and stress.

Once that was established, I could then grow and expand over the minimal requirements of my work to network, market, and lead in my community.

Over time, this engendered more happiness because I was doing the things in life that mattered to me and felt like I had a real stake in my community. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

At this point, I have learned to do so and have done so extensively and in public. I have shared this story several times in articles, my blog, my book, and often in presentations and interviews. Doing so has been liberating in many ways but it has taken time and a lot of courage.

The first challenge was for me to acknowledge my own difficulty and accept that it was a struggle at all. I was so lost in perfectionism that, at first, I didn’t accept that I was struggling. 

Over time, I more openly sought out help and support from loved ones and friends. And, then, I started to write. At first, I wrote only legal articles for trade magazines. Then I branched out to other topics, like law practice, and eventually to discussing life topics.

After numerous articles and several years, I wrote about mindfulness for the first time and a mentor encouraged me to present about mindfulness for a professional women’s summit. 

This was the first time I spoke about my struggles with stress and mental health and talked about mindfulness practices in public. The session was a hit and it taught me how valuable stories are, so I kept sharing them. 

People ask me all the time how I am able to write so much and my most common answer is that writing is a mental health practice for me, just like meditation. Part of this is just getting thoughts out of my brain, but the other part is learning about and sharing my life with the world.

I don’t think everyone else must share the way I do to be happy, but I encourage anyone who reaches out to me to write or create in whatever way is calling them because it has been so impactful for me. 

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

The thing I always come back to when asked this question is that there is hope because things can change. With anxiety, you often feel like you can’t control anything because there is so much uncertainty in life and you can’t control your own thoughts.

With depression, you may feel hopeless and like your sadness will never end. For a long time, I thought being unhappy, lonely, and afraid was just who I was. 

When I had my daughter, though, I realized that I had to find a way to be happy. What was really amazing was that I didn’t have to change who I was at all to find happiness. Instead, I had to change my behaviors and patterns.

Once I learned to manage my stress and anxiety, seek out help, let creativity into my life, and open up to the world, I couldn’t believe how different life felt.

This is not to say that every day is wonderful or that I am never down. I still struggle with low moods or hard times like anyone, but now I have skills and resources and I know I am not facing life alone. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

First, I want to say that I read a lot so this was really hard for me. I do book reviews and resource recommendations on my blog frequently and many favorites are covered there.

There are, of course, some authors that I have come back to over the years again and again and they include the following: 

• Tara Brach was the first meditation teacher I followed and read extensively. Her podcast and books helped me realize that there was nothing wrong with me and helped me start to heal. 
• Laura Vanderkam was a writer on time management who helped me during the crazy years with my kids as little ones. Her books and podcasts helped me to keep things in perspective and realize that I could do a lot even without unlimited time. 
• Kelly McGonigal is a wonderful scientist and storyteller. She has helped me understand everything from willpower to habit change to compassion better and how the smartest people really can break down complex things in a simple way. 
• Malcolm Gladwell has given me the confidence to see connections and ideas that other people don’t see and to actually say them out loud. He has helped me understand the value of checking assumptions to see if they are really true. 

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find more about me and mindfulness on my blog, Brilliant Legal Mind. The blog is on various social media platforms as well, including Facebook, Instagram, X. Threads, LinkedIn, and YouTube.

My books, Mommy Needs a Minute, and How to Be a Badass Lawyer are on Amazon and other online booksellers. I am active on LinkedIn and would love it if you reach out or connect. 

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

(This is a question I get all the time, so I am offering it here.)

Weren’t you scared when you started talking about mental health and mindfulness? How did your law firm and clients react? 

Yes, I was totally scared. I am still scared to this day. But one good thing (if you can call it that) about anxiety was that I got a little bored of being scared all of the time, so I stopped listening to it.

As it turns out, clients were understanding and my professional contacts have been supportive. In reality, I have found more benefit from my law practice from my other life of teaching mindfulness than detriment. 

I assume that there are some people out there who think I am strange or don’t get mindfulness, but that’s true about a lot of things. I trust in the practices, I have seen them work, I know that they are backed by science, and my worries force me to be humble and realistic when I teach.

I don’t push mindfulness on anyone, but I do try to make it more accessible to people new to the concepts.

This has helped me form new relationships and build confidence in myself. In the end, teaching mindfulness has helped my law practice so there really hasn’t been a conflict between the two things. 

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Navigated Perfectionism and Postpartum Depression With Therapy and Mindfulness appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Angela Broida, while I professionally use my former last name, Phillips. I live in central California, in a beautiful wine country town called Paso Robles.

My partner and I relocated from the Bay Area where we met a few years ago to Vancouver, BC. I have a 10-year-old English bulldog named Stella that has been with me since she was a pup, and a 1 year old baby named Ruby.

I’m a licensed therapist, clinical researcher, and work in the behavioral health tech space. I’m very passionate about my career but also other hobbies that include music, fashion, hiking, traveling, and overall just experiencing new things as opportunities arise. I would definitely consider myself a positive person and although I wouldn’t use the term by choice, happiness is definitely a part of my daily life. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Prior to becoming a therapist myself, I struggled with how to seek out or name things that happened in my past, contributing toward challenges in the present. If I really look back, much of it started with the pros and cons of being raised with a very strict but wavering religiosity in my home.

Though much of my moral compass and strong values derived from this environment, the eruption of my social and generalized anxiety disorders really started in that religious context and I felt I couldn’t live an authentic life, and I thus felt like I had to hide a lot of who I was.

This started as a child until I felt I could move out of my parent’s home at 17 years old and try to get out from under the pressures and beliefs I didn’t align with that were physically making me ill.

The more I recognized unhealthy coping skills and the loss of those around me, the more I realized I needed to talk to someone and really do some work if I was going to survive and live a fulfilling and healthy life.

Enter the discovery and naming of prior traumatic events, PTSD, and ongoing anxiety disorder(s). Even at the beginning of my self-exploration and healing journey, I’d self-medicate mostly with alcohol to tolerate social situations while throwing myself into projects, work, or school to manage not focusing on relationships or my own problems.

While all of this distracted me enough to get through at the time, I wasn’t really comfortable, and nowhere near happy. I wasn’t truly connecting with others and I didn’t genuinely understand myself or what I wanted.

The death of my father in my early 20s triggered the idea that I’d accept that I may never want to be in a long-term relationship and justify break ups, and not deserving healthy relationships or really learning how to communicate.

Over the years I learned ways to process and cope in healthy ways, and never thought I’d find someone who was willing to walk through that with me but thankfully we met at the perfect time of growth and acceptance.

Fast forward to the birth of our first child and here’s where things start to resurface as they do for many new moms. Most simply, the “baby blues” differ from postpartum depression or anxiety by the length of time a new mom experiences the symptoms and the severity of those symptoms.

Those of us who already struggle with depression or anxiety are also at greater risk for postpartum severity which was a slight fear of mine going into the pregnancy but I felt confident that I’d be able to adjust like I had with so many things.

However, you never really know how your body is going to respond to so many changes. I had recently moved into a new home, in a new area with my partner, and didn’t realize the impact that my lack of a social network would have on me, as well.

Ultimately, I saw baby blues creep in along with more severe symptoms of depression and anxiety, with new symptoms I wasn’t familiar with. I had never felt hopeless or trapped, and although many moms I talk to today will admit, no one talks about these common experiences that can arise immediately after this amazing gift of life occurs.

I was in a fog, so confused, and felt all over the place. I had to ‘relearn’ a lot about myself, when to anticipate these new challenges arising, plan for prevention by doing more outreach for support, and become painfully open with my partner about all of the above. This is really difficult to do all while trying to figure out what changes are going on with your body and brain, AND learning how to care for a new human.

Over the months, I found myself getting more and more confident in motherhood and growing into my new role with increased comfort in my own skin. I made sure not to lose aspects of my identity and focus on hobbies that, although may not get as much attention as they had in the past, would continue to be a part of me.

One big aspect of this was my career and making sure I followed my gut when it came to decide whether or not I would want to be a stay at home parent. I was able to find an amazing job that allowed me to stay home and work remotely but keep my career and professional identity afloat.

I would revisit my tool kit for managing anxiety and these periodic, daily dips in mood, and learn different ways of approaching them. My personal opinion is that our mental health is an ongoing journey, and thus the focus is not to “get better,“ but to continue folding in the new life experiences that occur and learn how to balance out, in a way that brings peace, joy, love, and fulfillment, in whatever way that is for us.

“Happiness“ is subjective, but I’d say I’ve reached a new level of understanding when it comes to my definition. I no longer sit in the “what if“ of my life but I embrace the challenges that are ahead and welcome them as a way to continue to refine my skills and grow as a person. The community I have around me is responsible for so much more than I would’ve ever guessed it would be.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I have always taken a lot of pride in my independence, drive, and optimism. So, to go from being so blissfully in love and recently married to a partner I never thought I’d find, to someone struggling with feelings of hopelessness and panic, I was quite a mess.

Instead of crying, I’d try to bottle things up but quickly reset and embraced this honestly with my close family and friends. Although the support was extremely helpful, I did wonder if the feelings would ever dissipate. Having the skills to remind myself that this so commonly happens to new moms was a game changer but still didn’t soften the blow for months of this struggle.

My family was far away and my husband was back at work for days at a time, so it was less noticeable than it may be for others to see. I will say that once I opened up, they all realized the challenges but also saw me start to figure things out and become more of myself again.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Although I still struggle with the idea that I’m no longer only living for myself and/or another independent adult, those returning symptoms that would come on each day are now less and less frequent and much less severe. They’re blips on a screen and remind me of how far I’ve come not only in my postpartum journey but in my entire life.

Around 3 months postpartum I felt about 25% improvement, 6 months around 50%, and 75% around 9 months. As I approach a year with my little one, I’ll never say 100% is realistic but I’m closer and happier than ever and looking forward to continuing this new journey.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

What helped me the most was building my social network and finding people that have interests outside of parenthood. This is so key in my opinion because the biggest challenge one can experience when becoming a parent is losing themselves. I knew this from my own training and just needed to understand how to apply this to myself. 

As my experience is unique, being a therapist, I always recommend reaching out to an unbiased professional or friend if you don’t have one. I was able to take my training and apply it to myself effectively, but this was with the help and insight from others in my community. 

Finally, I cannot express how important it was for me to track how I was feeling along with what I was putting into my body. From medications to foods, it all matters and I found patterns that I was able to disrupt and catch before making me feel progressively worse. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I started sharing with my partner very early on, and eventually added family and friends, particularly the network of moms I had built and chatted with regularly. This “mom group” idea made me cringe, initially, but allowed me to share the taboo and unspoken thoughts many of us have in a way that many of us would never think to speak aloud.

Since then, I’ve become more vocal on social media and have reached out to support others who may need a space to do the same. It’s definitely still difficult and taboo but I continue to try and normalize it all, as I go.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

My favorite quote of all time is the effect of, “learn what it is that you need and then learn how to ask for it.” This has remained true for me in most circumstances including this one. Communication is always key and we all need support when going through something so significant, regardless of how amazing the experience is.

As I grew into my new role as a mom, I had to pay really close, mindful attention to myself and make room for whatever thoughts and feelings were coming through. I tried to remain as unbiased as possible and treat myself with the kindness and compassion I would with any of my friends. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

Honestly, something I talk about a lot in my professional work and practice a lot of in my personal life is limiting social media, and external factors when it comes to these ongoing challenges.

All that said, there are certainly resources that I found to be helpful during, and after my pregnancy, and throughout my journey with trauma, anxiety, and other challenging symptoms.

As a therapist and researcher, I’m always looking at new research, articles, authors, books, and other materials that fall in line with the work that I do. In that sense, I sort through hundreds and hundreds of pages every month.

Explicitly, during this most recent and challenging time, I stuck with friends, podcasts from supportive doulas and parenting experts, but overall what normalized the experience for me was an app called ‘What to Expect’ that gives you a play-by-play as to the milestones your child will experience, as well as the normalization of what a new mother is experiencing along the way.

Almost to a T the curated emails and milestones would pop up on my phone or in my email that would again reinforce what I was going through and give me hope as to what I could look forward to in the future, but also how to be present with where things were currently at, no matter how challenging they may be.

It took away a layer of stigma around baby blues and postpartum anxiety or depression and became the one constant that I didn’t have to talk to or didn’t have to listen to me, but that I just got to read on my own time. I then started sharing this as a daily update with my partner, and it became part of our routine when we were together first thing in the morning or at the end of every day.

Finally, I started journaling about my experience from both the highs and the lows, and everything in between. I had been on a hiatus from journaling for some time and knew the benefits so it only made sense to restart that process again. I go back-and-forth but I’ve always found it helps me in the moment and gets me back on track when I’m feeling overwhelmed.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find me on Instagram at @humorist.therapist and LinkedIn.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Navigating Baby Blues and Depression in My Postpartum Journey and Breaking the Stigma appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I’m Wendy Yehia. Mom of 4 beautiful daughters ages 23, 20,13, and 6, I’m originally from the small town of Rogersville, New Brunswick, Canada now living in Cairo, Egypt with my husband and two youngest daughters. I am also homeschooling them. 

What is your struggle and when did it start?

All my life, I struggled with depression, not feeling good enough, people-pleasing, shame, guilt and the list goes on. I always felt like a “weirdo” and like I didn’t fit in this modern world. 

However, the birth of my first-born daughter Kaitlyn in 1999, triggered a severe post-partum depression which sent me spiraling down a very deep dark tunnel that lasted many years. The birthing experience was traumatizing, for both myself and my daughter.

I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant, but I was also scared at the same time. I signed up for prenatal classes and remember watching a video about the use of forceps. I told my then-partner that I never wanted that procedure! 

In my mind, all would go perfectly exactly the way I had planned it with no complications. My waters broke and, we were off to the hospital. At first, all was progressing well, but that changed quickly for the worst. After 34 hours in labor, and trying to birth her naturally, she couldn’t get into the birthing canal. Her tiny head was in transverse, slightly tilted to the side (not straight) and my pelvis wasn’t wide enough for her to pass through. So, after pushing what seemed like forever, my Gyno took out the dreaded forceps! 

Everything just spun around me so fast after this. I didn’t have time to even react or tell him no. I think I blocked out the pain at that point! It’s pretty much a blur. After a long time trying to push her out, my baby girl was in distress. I remember hearing her heart beating fast and then getting slower and slower. They were losing her. All was just spinning around me. Then, the doctor announced that he would have to perform an emergency C-Section. I remember her father breaking down and crying at that point. I was whisked away to the operating room. Everything was happening so fast. I was so scared, exhausted, and, in shock! 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I heard her first cries. I was relieved that she was safe and here with us. The nurse brought her to me and put her on my chest. I was relieved and filled with so much love for my precious angel. I noticed a big red mark across her face caused by the forceps and my heart sank. What had they done to my girl? They took her away, and I passed out from being so exhausted. I slept for a very long time and I woke up in my room as a scared brand-new mom filled with mom guilt. I felt like I was robbed of the chance to bond with my little girl since I slept for almost a full day. 

I felt like I had failed my daughter in so many ways and this was the start of my post-partem depression journey. 

Motherhood is a transformation, a rebirth that changes your whole perspective on life. It is a gift, but also the most demanding job, and nothing can prepare you for it. You have to experience it to really understand. Becoming a mother, was also a catalyst for a major spiritual awakening for me. It made me question who I was, my purpose in life and so much more. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

With time, my body healed, but my mind kept telling me I was a failure and I didn’t deserve my daughter. I also had a fractured coccyx due to the forceps. This is still painful to this day. I tried to keep a smile on my face and pretend all was great, but deep inside, I had this sadness, bitterness, and anger.

I was in denial that something was wrong, and in my mind, if I admitted it, it would confirm what I knew all along. That I was a failure at being a mom. I even compared myself with other moms. Imagine that! I tried to hide it from the world. 

I was breastfeeding and my daughter didn’t latch well. She was colicky for the first 6 weeks, but I was determined to not give up. Many times, I cried thinking I was a failure at everything. I blamed myself for not being able to provide for my daughter. I didn’t trust my own motherly instincts.

I realize now that she must have felt my nervousness and my doubt. She had felt the trauma at her birth as well. I know in my heart that she was also traumatized. I can still remember that mark across her tiny face like it was yesterday. 

Kaitlyn grew into a very energetic toddler. My depression followed me, but I learned to live with it. I was pretty good at wearing a mask to hide it. This is something I had done all my life. She was displaying behavioral issues at 2. I had her assessed and they thought she had ADHD, but they wouldn’t be able to diagnose her until she was older. I was so tired and couldn’t keep up with her energy. I burned out! 

I found out I was pregnant again in 2002 with my 2^nd daughter, Kayla. I was happy but also scared. I didn’t want to go through the same experience. The birth went smoothly this time and I delivered her naturally, but I was in fear until she was finally here. My mom guilt was still there. 

As time passed, I still felt those awful feelings deep inside me. Life was pretty normal most of the time. I didn’t show it to my girls, at least I tried not to. I went through the motions and took care of them as best as I could. I had gotten used to hiding my sadness from the world, but it still grew and grew inside me. I felt disconnected, sometimes frustrated, angry, and that mom guilt always crept up on me, but I just kept going. 

In 2005, I had to go for a gallbladder removal surgery by myself. My partner could not come with me since he had to work. I remember waking up with no one around me. This was the worst feeling. That made me question a lot of things and my depression hit me like a slap in the face even more.

After my surgery, once I got home, on a whim, I told my partner that I was leaving him. If I had to go through that alone, then I didn’t want to be with anyone. So, I left him. 

I moved out with the girls in my hometown and started a new life. I was alone for the first time in my life, with 2 young children on welfare, no car, no house. I lost everything. That hit me pretty hard. My depression went downward even more at this time, to the point where I didn’t even want to get up from the couch.

I had 2 small girls to take care of, but I just couldn’t find the energy to do so. Kaitlyn’s behavior also got worse. I called social services for help. They were already involved with Kaitlyn. They came to assess the situation, and when my case worker saw my condition, she suggested they go live with their father temporarily to give me time to take care of myself and get better.

Of course, I resisted as it only affirmed what a failure as a mother I was, but I had no choice. I had to turn my life around and take care of myself for my precious girls. 

On the day they left, I was devasted and my whole world came crashing down. I curled myself in a ball on their bed, hugged one of their stuffed animals, and just cried. For 3 days, I just stayed there in a fetal position. I couldn’t bring myself to eat even. I just didn’t want to live anymore, and suicidal thoughts overcame me. My mother came to my door a few times and I didn’t even want to see her. People called and I didn’t answer.

Then in the darkness, a voice told me: “Wendy, get up, do not give up. Your girls need you to stay strong for them”. So, I slowly got myself up, took a shower and called my best friend, packed my things, and went to her place. I never looked back. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

During this time, I kept myself busy and stayed with my soul sister. I found a full-time job and moved to the city and my girls came to visit on weekends and holidays. I slowly started to get better. I finally had a purpose again and I met new people at my work. 

I asked my ex to have my girls with me again. He refused and told me that they were with him now and that I would have to take him to court. He played with my guilt and I wasn’t strong enough to go face a judge who would put me under the microscope.

So, I let them stay with their father and they kept coming on weekends and holidays. I knew they were in good hands, but I missed them so much. There was an empty void. I missed Kayla’s first day of school and many other events. I sometimes felt robbed of these milestones and this left me feeling bitter. My mom guilt still followed me, but I kept pushing through no matter what. 

In the meantime, I met my current husband. We met online way back when the Internet wasn’t even a thing yet. My family and friends were shocked and tried to talk me out of it, but I followed my heart.

This was the start of an amazing love story. 3 years later in 2008, I came to meet him in person and, I knew he was the one from the first glimpse I saw of him waiting for me at the Cairo airport that day. We got married a week later. I stayed 3 months and went back home. 

During my 2^nd trip, I got pregnant with Jamila, but I went back to Canada alone to give birth. My husband was not allowed to travel with me due to immigration laws. That was a challenge! It brought back many feelings from the past. I had a pretty hard labor, but I got through it and my depression didn’t take over my life this time.

I traveled back and forth quite a few times until finally, he was able to immigrate to be with us in Canada in 2014. Jamila was finally reunited with her dad. We’ve had many challenges over the years. Having a long-distance relationship wasn’t easy, but our love for each other was stronger than the challenges we faced. In 2016, I gave birth to Yasmeen at 43. 

We were living happily in Canada until the pandemic crept up on us and, the introduction of the Covid vaccine mandates were imposed on our family by our government. You see, we chose not to get the vaccine. Being an “outside of the box” thinker, I didn’t follow this narrative. I believe we all have an immune system that can help us fight off any virus or bacteria and we didn’t want to risk our health with this injection.

In September 2021, we were forced to take a major leap of faith and leave Canada for our safety, survival, and freedom. Our rental house sold, and at the time, landlords were asking for vaccine proof to rent and also, our government in New Brunswick was trying to mandate proof to even buy food.

We were screwed! We knew that if we stayed, we risked being homeless and starving with 2 young kids in tow. So, 3 weeks later, we were on the plane for Egypt to start our new chapter. 

Boy! What a stressful time that was! I had to get rid of all my belongings and could only take a few memories and clothes. I call this the Great Purge of 2021. I purged and let go of everything.

Once again, I was having mom guilt, for leaving behind my daughters. It triggered old feelings in myself and also for them. They had felt abandoned in the past when I traveled to Egypt and it brought back those painful memories for them. They were living their own lives in Canada and could not come with us.

We had open discussions about this, and they know that it was a difficult decision for me to make. Thank God for technology. We have video calls often and they will be planning to come and visit us here this year. 

The uncertainty of living in Canada with the rising costs of housing, food shortages, job market instabilities the mandates caused, was our motivation to leave and we are so glad we did!

We are proof that any life challenge can be overcome, you just need to be willing to leap into the unknown, trust the process, and go with the flow without fear of the outcome! 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

What really helped me in my battle was not giving up and to keep fighting for my 4 girls. 

Even though I felt I failed my 2 oldest daughters for over 20 years, and my mom guilt kept me stuck, I kept strong and kept going. 

I am grateful that God gave me a second chance to make things right as a mom. I now have Jamila and Yasmeen and, I promised myself that I would never let my negative limiting beliefs, mom guilt, and challenges get in the way as they did the first time around. 

Being a sexual abuse and post-partem depression survivor, I realize now, that my past childhood traumas and sexual abuse were the triggers to my post-partem depression. We are not taught tools to cope and release these heavy emotions associated with trauma, and if not dealt with it, it stays trapped and follows us into adulthood causing a plethora of issues in our lives as it did with me. 

In 2022, after many dark nights of the soul for over 20 years, I worked hard on myself and did the inner work. I accomplished this by doing my own research on trauma and post-partem depression, attending webinars, and learning different tools to help me release it.

This introspection allowed me to fully heal from my own past traumas and life challenges, to forgive myself, change my mindset, step into my power, and be my true unique self as the free sovereign living breathing woman and momma warrior that I am. 

I also had deep discussions with Kaitlyn and Kayla before we moved to Egypt about everything. This allowed us to speak openly about how these series of events made them feel over the years and I assured them that I had always loved them even if they were not living with me full-time.

This helped us all forgive and clear up any negative feelings or emotions from the past. I know my choices have affected them negatively during their life and knowing they forgave me, helped me forgive myself and finally put it behind me. 

I am finally healed and no longer have this mom guilt and depression that I struggled with for so long. I now have confidence as a woman and a mother and, I know that I had to go through these life struggles to learn valuable lessons. 

I am now on a mission to help other women and moms overcome their life challenges, including post-partem depression by giving them valuable tools from my tool belt that helped me overcome mine. My goal is to support and guide them on their journey to recovery, so they can also break the cycle and be their best selves for themselves and their children. 

If I could overcome post-partum depression anyone can  

Here is one of my favorite pictures of me and my girls:

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

For the longest time, my guilt kept me from speaking up about my struggle. I was ashamed that people would judge me as a bad mom. Again, this was my limiting belief of not being good enough, people pleasing, my fear, and my guilt taking over. My close friends and family knew my story, but it was not something that I felt comfortable sharing. 

When I first launched my online coaching business in July 2022, I hosted a 10-day Goddess Recharge challenge via my women’s Facebook group. I shared my story for the first time with my audience, and, it was so freeing. When a few women resonated and shared their own similar stories, it was such a big relief. It made me realize that I was not the only one who struggled with this and that many other moms are walking in my same shoes. 

When we are going through something, it can be a pretty lonely journey. We assume that we are the only ones going through it, but by sharing our stories, we realize that others are also going through it and, that is so beautiful! My motto is: “Women who gather together…Heal together”

My mission is to create a safe space for women to share their stories, and support one another on our journeys. We all have unique stories and sharing them openly and safely can help bring so much healing. I offer 1:1 and group coaching, host masterclasses, and share valuable resources to help support you. 

I would love to welcome you to my Facebook community Unleash Your Inner Goddess.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

If you’re going through post-partem depression or any life struggles, please get help as soon as you can. 

It may be hard to admit you have a problem. You may feel guilty, or like a failure, like I did, but it’s so important to get the help you need early on. 

If I had sought help when I started struggling with post-partem depression and had access to the necessary tools to help me overcome this struggle, it would have made a world of difference for myself and my children. 

The longer you wait, the worst it will get over time. It does not just go away. It’s perfectly okay to ask for help! You’re not less of a mother for admitting you have a problem and getting support, believe me! 

Follow your intuition always. This is the GPS that will help guide you through life. 

Take care of yourself, your needs, and your health. As moms, it’s hard to practice self-care, but it’s so crucial. You can’t pour from an empty cup. We give away so much of ourselves to our kids and if we don’t make self-care a priority, we burn out. This is what happened to me. 

We are taught that it’s selfish to take time for ourselves as moms, but this is not true. Our kids need us at our best, and they reap the benefits of having a happy, rested mom. We need to break the cycle so that our kids can thrive. As the saying goes: “A happy mom = happy kids = happy life”!

When I started on my quest to heal myself, I came across many amazing resources. I have a whole plethora of articles, eBooks, self-help books, YouTube videos, and more that I’ve compiled over the years. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

One that really resonated with me and spoke to me was a free 5-day webinar by Jay Shetty back in 2018. There, I connected with an amazing woman, Vas Bes. We are soul sisters today. Her story moved me in so many ways, on Self-Love. She wrote a best-selling book called 7 Ultimate Secrets To Real Love Success

That, and Sonia Ricotti’s movie Unsinkable.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can connect with me on many different social media platforms through this link here.

I’m a Divine Feminine Holistic Wellness Coach, Reiki Energy Healer, Massage Therapist, and Lightworker. Why did I become a coach? 

I have always been a life coach naturally, I just didn’t realize my potential until very recently. People, even strangers, have always been attracted to my empathic nature. I can be at the grocery store check-out and people start to talk to me, telling me their life stories. I often get private messages on Facebook from people asking me for advice, telling me they feel they can trust me and open up to me. 

In 2019, I left the corporate world, and my secure government job with the RCMP-Canadian Firearms Program, to pursue my soul’s calling to help humanity on their healing journey.

Need support? Let’s have a chat over coffee. I am here to support you on your journey and help you fill your cup! You don’t have to go through this alone! You got this! I also offer the Breaking The Cycle ~ Overcoming Post-Partem Depression Masterclass!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Beat My Mom Guilt & Post-Partum Depression By Never Giving Up Despite Setbacks appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I’m Nikki, a Scottish Mum, wife, coach, and digital course creator supporting Maternal Mental Health. The last 16 years have seen me living in Jakarta, Indonesia where I ran the family business, a hair and beauty salon for seven years.

It was here I met “Handsomeface” my American husband Kevin. When we decided to start trying for a baby we relocated to new pastures and found ourselves in Tivat, Montenegro where we spent the next six years. Bringing our dog Sandy home from the rescue shelter there.

Finally, after three years of trying to conceive, I got pregnant and brought our amazing wee Archie into the world.

Mid pandemic saw us relocating again and moving to our current home Dubai, UAE. In 2021 I launched my business here….The Scottish Soul Sister was born.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Depression and anxiety had periodically reared their heads during my adult life. I always believed that it was due to not living my heart’s desire and being a mum. So when I finally got pregnant at 40 years of age it felt like winning the lottery!

I did not anticipate Postpartum Depression being part of my parenting journey. However, the first 18 months of Archie’s life saw me struggle with feelings of anxiety, anger, sadness, disconnect, low self-esteem, frustration, and a general sense of messing this mum stuff up!

Contrary to all I read about Postpartum Depression or Postnatal Depression, I never felt that I was not bonding or connected to Archie. In fact, I found the opposite to be true. I felt so in love and so connected to my son that the ill feelings came from my belief that I was simply not good enough to be his mum.

And therein lies the answer to all of my mental health struggles to date that I thankfully now understand…

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

There were times when I thought the tears would never stop and then I would be eaten up with guilt for wasting this time with my crying and anxiety.

However, it was not consistent, there were lots of amazing times and happiness when the light would override the dark and I would believe things were getting better.

I now realize that I did not fully acknowledge what was happening and so did not ask for help. Living overseas meant that I did not have proximity to my family and friends and so I would put on a brave face during video calls so as not to “worry” or “burden” them.

I also feared judgment, opinions, or advice should I be fully transparent as I wanted to have it “all together”. And so I presented myself as the amazing mum I so wanted to be.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

My pivotal moment came following a series of events:

A lovely friend recommended I talk to a counselor over a video call.

(I now understand having a safe space to verbalize all that was going on was a massive forward step)

I then attended a two-day retreat that a life coach friend of mine was hosting despite my initial cynicism towards the whole “life coaching thing”.

The following week as I sat by the water with Archie sleeping in his buggy I felt compelled to do something with this experience. It was here I decided to study, implement and pay forward all of my learnings to support others. I went home and told my husband, I don’t want to return to hairdressing, I want to help other families.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

It is now I understand and strongly recommend that some personal development be explored before having a family.

We all have a “story” we tell ourselves, we all have an “identity” we live by, and we all have “conditioning” from our own experiences.

Only when we begin to understand those things about ourselves can we open that narrative with spouses, and partners as we prepare for the shift in dynamics that naturally comes when having a baby.

There are a lot of complex, expensive solutions available with regard to self-care. It is my opinion that introducing simple, sustainable daily habits can create the foundations for supporting mental health.

For example:

Designing yourself a morning routine baggy enough to live in. What I mean is not to put pressure on yourself to perfect a routine or for it to be actioned every day, try aiming for 80% of the time. 

On waking Monday to Friday I do a low-impact seven-minute workout. No phone, no social media, allow your brain to go through the necessary processes upon wakening without interrupting it with overstimulation.

This helps change my physiology and stretches my body, aids in promoting more clarity and improved mood as I start my day.

As a family, create weekly schedules, and meal plans, and discuss expectations. How often do you get sick of saying “what do you want for dinner?” It takes up so much brain space right?! Especially if you are looking after a new baby and have less energy for day-to-day things.

Is there a way to outsource, and delegate tasks to alleviate some of the pressure?

Did you get the memo?

• Manage expectations
• Manage obligations

Opening the narrative as a family can reduce overwhelm and help tackle any feelings of being a victim of circumstance. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I have now put myself fully out there and shared my experiences in a bid to help others. The way I do this is by separating the scaremongers from the sugar coaters and normalizing discussing the challenges faced when becoming a parent.

It was hard to admit how bad I felt in the beginning, but I now realize that family and friends suspected all was not well. We are not Oscar-nominee-worthy actors after all!

People who love you will already have an inclination but may find it hard to approach as we can still be in defense mode.

This is why talking to an outside resource can be so beneficial. It removes expectations, emotions, and behaviors associated with our loved ones. Creating a safe space to be fully transparent and receive assistance in the shape of tools, techniques, or an invitation to an alternative perspective

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Explore personal development.

I believe that if I had a better understanding of myself and had introduced some practical, simple self-care before having Archie, I would have navigated the tough days differently. And perhaps I would have saved myself some of those tears.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

I loved reading The Comfort Book by Matt Haig. It contains short, digestible and relatable pieces. As someone who is open about his own mental health, I found encouragement and inspiration in this book.

I’m also a big fan of podcasts that educate or entertain you. I now realize that as a mum I immersed myself in all things baby and was not paying attention to my own growth. Podcasts are great for this as they can be on whilst doing something else.

For those interested in parenting topics, I recommend the podcasts They Say It Takes a Village by Raya Haley and Reshape by Rania Masri El Khatib.

I am also inspired by Tony Robbins and his no-nonsense approach, Dean Graziosi, Jenna Kutcher, Boss Babes, Lisa Nicols, Mel Robbins, Brendan Burchard and so many more.

By immersing in reading, watching, and listening to people like this I found the impact on my mood and daily life improved.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

Stepping Into Parenthood is a digital program I created as I understand that not everyone wants to talk! This provides prompts for families to open narratives around what can sometimes feel like difficult conversations such as money, expectations, values, and beliefs.

You can also follow me on Instagram and LinkedIn.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Navigated Post-Partum Depression to Find Happiness in Motherhood appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Are there benefits to having struggled?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I’m Lark Begin and live in Ottawa Ontario Canada. I own my own business in the digital marketing space. I have 2 pet guinea pigs. I enjoy nature, the outdoors, hiking, fishing, and strength training. I have been married to my husband since 2011. I consider myself to be happy most of the time, but I continue to struggle a few times per month.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I struggle with depression and anxiety. I occasionally experience high stress and dark days. It started 20 years ago when I was in my first year at University and had just experienced a bad breakup. 

It wasn’t treated until 1 year after I struggled with an eating disorder. I got help and saw a psychiatrist and psychologist. The combination of CBT therapy and medication helped. Over time it was manageable. 

Since trying to get pregnant in 2014, I went off the medication. Things were ok throughout the pregnancy but the depression came back as Postpartum Depression (PPD) after my first child. I thought it was just because I was a new parent and lacked sleep. The new addition made our life a bit more difficult, so naturally, there were days with added stress. But it was still manageable.

I had my second child in 2018 and during that pregnancy, I had to go back on medication due to severe depression. I have continued to be on the same medication since 2018. I tried going off of it for 2 months but the anxiety and dark days came back.

I still have a dark day 1-2x per month. The anxiety presents itself in stressful and social situations as well. This is still ongoing.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

The depression has drained a part of my life that I will never get back. I can’t seem to not see the dark side of things even when I’m fully happy – I feel like it won’t last.

I hid it – until the depression manifested itself into an eating disorder. I got very thin, then people started to worry. My parents pushed me into doing therapy as they were very worried about my health.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

It took me around a year with the eating disorder for me to get help.

When I started doing CBT – it really made me understand why I was feeling the way I was. When I started taking meds, things definitely took a turn in the right direction. It felt easy to go about my day. The days didn’t drag on and the minutes didn’t feel like hours.  

This change was a result of my circumstances (having parents that cared enough to push me to get help) in combination with my willingness to stick with therapy and get help by doing weekly and bi-weekly sessions.

I still see a therapist once per year or bi-annually, depending on if I feel I need some outside help.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Getting help takes a long time and getting medication can take even longer.

If you notice that your days seem difficult, reach out to someone. It’s definitely a process.

In the meantime, while you’re waiting for help from a progressional, read some popular books in the niche of anxiety and depression. This will let you stay informed and learn more about how you can deal with these difficult feelings on your own.

Seek professional help: Depression is a serious condition that should not be ignored. It’s important to seek professional help from a therapist or a doctor who can provide you with the right diagnosis and treatment plan.

Build a support system: It’s important to have a support system of friends and family who can provide emotional support during difficult times. Don’t hesitate to reach out to those around you for help when you need it.

Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. This can involve getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Challenge negative thoughts: Depression can often be accompanied by negative self-talk and pessimistic thinking. Challenge these thoughts by replacing them with positive, realistic ones.

Set small goals: Setting small, achievable goals can help you build momentum and feel a sense of accomplishment. Start small and gradually work your way up to bigger goals.

Also, continue to read self-help books. You need to understand your mood disorder in order to overcome it. Be your own therapist while you wait for professional appointments.

I’ve read Mind Over Mood, which comes with a workbook that is easy to follow. It also shares several types of people’s experiences with depression and how they overcome their thoughts. 

Dr. Robert Anthony wrote the book Beyond Positive Thinking, which I’ve read twice now, and would love to read again. 

Focus on mindfulness and read books about being in the moment. This can help you reduce the day-to-day mundane feelings of similar patterns.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I have shared my experience with depression and anxiety with 2 of my close friends and family members. I’m willing to share my struggles to help others deal with theirs. 

I have found a lot of others that have had to deal with PPD, I find it helpful to talk about it.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I wish I knew the signs to look for when it came to having a bad day vs. being depressed. I didn’t think I had a treatable issue (depression). I thought I was just prone to having bad days. Depression is a medical condition and not a personal failure. 

Are there any benefits that have come from your mood disorders?

My anxiety has pushed me to be self-reliant and resourceful. This allows me to be extremely organized, creative, stay focused on tasks and excel in my line of work. I also have a great amount of empathy for others, which can help me support and comfort others.

Having dark days also allows you to see the light in the good days and the little things. On a good day, you can really enjoy the small things and not be stuck in a dark cloud.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne helped me understand anxiety disorders and offers practical strategies for managing anxiety symptoms.

The Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon helped me understand causes, treatment options, and impact on individuals and society.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

I own my own digital marketing company, Profit Parrot, where you can learn more. You can also follow me on Instagram or connect with me on LinkedIn.

Your website: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/profitparrot

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/larkbegin/

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Therapy and Self-Care Helped me Overcome Postpartum Depression appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Kelly Fabiano, and I currently live in Santa Clarita CA. I am the Founder and CEO of Life and Death with Kelly LLC. I’m a life coach and death doula.  

I am married and have two young children, a dog, and two cats. Joey, the oldest cat, is the OG of the household. She was here before the partner and kids.  

I consider myself to be human. I experience happiness a lot more than I have in my past! Life is messy, and I’m so grateful for that. As a death doula, I experience so much heartbreak alongside so much joy. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I have always struggled with mental illness. I was a mere 12 years old when I was first diagnosed with anxiety. However, anxiety has been my baseline. I learned to live with it…until I couldn’t.

Here I was, 33 years old, and three months postpartum with my second child, standing at my kitchen counter knowing that if I were left alone that night, I would die.

This was a different breed of anxiety. It took me down. I had never experienced suicidal ideation before. I am a fighter and have always been so proud of my resilience, but this was a whole different ball game.  Resilience is no match for suicidal ideation.

The first few months postpartum were bliss with my second child. I was keenly aware of the strong possibility I might develop a postpartum mental illness due to the fact I was already diagnosed with anxiety, and I had postpartum depression and psychosis with my first son.

So when I gave birth the second time around, and these weren’t present, I was so incredibly grateful.

It started to surface around my return to work. It started with small, out-of-character moments. I ran a red light on my way to pick my son up from daycare. I never ran red lights, and it was almost as if I forgot what a red light was when I did it. As if my brain was incapable of processing that it was a red light and I needed to stop.

Then it led to panic attacks.  If you’ve never had a panic attack before, I envy you.  They are brutal, and you can’t think or reason your way out of them. I had one proceeding that night at my kitchen counter.

That night, I was breastfeeding my infant, and he bit me. It was not the first time it’s happened, but it severed the string I was hanging on by. I handed them off to my partner, got in my car, and drove off.

On my drive, I began to have another panic attack. It was dark outside, and tears were streaming from my face, clouding my vision. I struggled to breathe. I couldn’t feel my face. Then, I started to lose feeling in my hands and feet.  

I called my sister, sobbing profusely. She stayed on the phone with me the whole way home. I heard zipping and drawers opening and shutting in the background. She was packing a bag.  

By a pure miracle, I made it home. I got out of my car and walked into the house. The kids were down, and I sent my partner out on an errand. I stood at my kitchen counter, and I realized that I couldn’t be trusted alone. I felt it in my bones. As much as I wanted to live more than anything, I knew I would not live if left alone. I had never been so scared of myself before.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I believe I addressed a lot of that in the previous answer (whoops!), but here is the reader’s digest version!

Postpartum anxiety stole my happiness. Every single ounce of it. It took everything from me. It took me away from myself.

I don’t think it was clear to my partner just how bad it was. He has never struggled with mental health issues personally. That’s why I called my sister. She knew, and I needed her.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

My sister and brother-in-law drove 5 hours down to LA in the middle of the night that night. That next morning, she insisted I get professional help. She accompanied me to a doctor and psychiatrist. She also worked on getting me into a mental health treatment center.

I was so afraid to go to treatment. I had just returned to work and felt terrible taking yet another leave. My sister truly helped me to see that it was ‘go to work and die’, or ‘go to treatment and live’. I chose life.

Those 90 days in treatment changed my life forever. I’m not waxing poetic here. It truly did. I wouldn’t have the life I have today without the healing I received there.  

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

For those of us that struggle with mental illness, I want you to know that you are not alone, and I’m sorry. It’s devastating to be at war with yourself.

I don’t think treatment is a one-size fits all solution, but I know that it changed everything for me. It helped me to come home to myself and to know that I’m worthy of taking up space in my own life. It’s okay for my health and happiness to come first.  

It also provided me with tools and support that I pull from to this day.  

And for all of those mamas out there struggling with postpartum mental illness – my heart breaks for you. You are loved, and you deserve all the support your heart can stand. This is not a battle we win alone.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I openly share my struggles with postpartum anxiety, depression, and psychosis. I think it’s crucial.  

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

You deserve to take up space. Take up as much as you need.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about the work I do on my website, or you can follow me on Instagram!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Treatment Saved me From Postpartum Depression and Panic Attacks appeared first on Tracking Happiness.