Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, I’m Victoria! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m a 2x boy mama, intuitive healer, and embodiment coach who demystifies ancient energetic practices like Kundalini Yoga and the Akashic Records. I live in Atlanta, GA with my husband, Will, and our two boys, Sebastian (4), and Rocky (17 months). 

I’m super passionate about helping women uncover who they really are vs who society has told them to be. A miscarriage in 2018 sent me on the path of self-discovery, and since then, I’ve healed disordered eating, anxiety, and body dysmorphia with the somatic and energetic practices I teach my clients. 

I was always a happy person, but since diving deeper into my internal world and well-being, I’ve become the fully expressed version of myself I was always meant to be.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My anxiety started in college. I honestly wouldn’t have considered myself an overly anxious person, but often, before tests, I wouldn’t be able to sleep. My mind would continue to race with test questions, what-if scenarios, and if I was prepared enough.

Raised as an only child, it was around this time that I found out I was going to be a big sister – a 20-year-old big sister. 

This feeling of out-of-controlness started to spread beyond test time, and soon, I was binging and purging daily. Looking back, I think it was a mix of anxiety and OCD.

To me, what I ate (or didn’t eat) and put in my body was the only thing I could control. I was never formally diagnosed with either, but smoked weed daily to cope not realizing it would eventually make my anxiety worse.

On the outside, I was super high-functioning. I got good grades, and I had a lot of friends, but internally it was a roller coaster, and I felt really insecure.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At my worst moments, post-college, I think I truly hated myself. Again, to the outside eye, I was high-functioning, but I was making really poor decisions. I was cheating on my boyfriend at the time, partying for all hours, and doing anything I could to escape my reality.

I did workout regularly, and that definitely helped, but I was far away from family and everything I knew as a young adult in New York City. I was lonely, even if I wouldn’t admit that to myself. It’s a hard city to live in, and as an introverted extrovert, I didn’t really know how to take care of myself. 

I’d cycle from being out all hours of the night with tons of people to holing myself up in my room all day smoking weed and sleeping because I didn’t have the energy to do anything else. I grew really frustrated at my job when I was looked over (rightfully) for a promotion, and I felt unfulfilled. 

If you talked to me at the time you probably thought I was living the dream, but it was a really dark time for me.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

My boyfriend and I at the time got into a really bad fight – probably one of our worst – and afterward I had this lightbulb moment of “this isn’t who I am.” This hateful, angry person wasn’t who I was raised to be, or who I really was at my core.

I also knew that our relationship was really and truly over. We’d kind of talked around it for a few months, but I made the decision to move back to the South after finding a new job. My boyfriend didn’t come with me. 

The weekend I flew to Birmingham, Alabama to try and find a new apartment and car at the same time was tough. I cried the whole time. I knew it was what I needed to do, though. 

Because I didn’t really know anybody, I was able to start over. I went back to Bikram Yoga – a form of hot yoga – multiple times a week, and I started to see glimpses of the real me again. 

Even though my anxiety felt like it was in check, I still carried a lot of anger. Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully “healed,” or that anyone really is, but I’ve made peace with so many parts of myself. Healing has been a beautiful journey of uncovering myself, and although it’s hard, I’ve found it’s so worth it. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Moving my body was the start of it all. I’d been a dancer when I was younger – and even through college – but I’d stopped for a long time. Rediscovering my yoga practice allowed me to find peace within myself. Even if it was just for the duration of the class. 

Soon, I was taking yoga classes online daily. I really resonated with a fast-paced style of yoga called Buti because it incorporated dancing, but I encourage you to try many styles until you find the one you like.

I often put music on and just dance around the house. There’s no way you can do that and not feel good afterward. It’s an immediate endorphin high. I love doing it with my kids, too.

Now, I’m an avid Kundalini yogi. Kundalini is the yoga of awareness, and its mix of mudra (hand placements), mantra (sound current), and movement is really what changed it all for me.

I meet myself on the mat every single morning and it’s a place to study myself and my feelings. I often journal afterward to continue to uncover whatever is moving inside of me.

You have to feel your feelings. After spending years of numbing mine with weed and booze, I realized the only way out was through. You’re going to continue to walk around with all of these swirling, low-vibration emotions until you allow them a healthy release.

It doesn’t mean I’m perfect – far from it – but I’m able to give myself a lot more compassion and grace. I grew up being told I was too much or that I was overly emotional, but now I realize they’re my superpower. Tears are medicine.

When we’re feeling emotional, it just means that energy is in motion, which is a good thing. When things get stuck energetically and physically, that’s when it can manifest into anxiety, depression, etc.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I didn’t really talk about this with anyone for a long time, but I started my own podcast last June, Flip the Script with Vic, and it’s really helped me find peace. It’s also allowed me to see how so many others are struggling with the same things.

Talking it out to a microphone has been very therapeutic and far outweighs any notions I’ve had of “what will they think of me?” I was actually most scared to tell my grandmother a lot of these stories, and she’s been so encouraging and is my number one podcast listener.

I also share a lot on Instagram (@victoriamargauxnielsen), and it’s been amazing to see how it resonates with other people when I’m authentically myself. To be witnessed in that way is incredible.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

You are worthy exactly as you are. And what you’re going through doesn’t define you – you get to do that. You get to choose how you move forward. 

Also, forgiveness is huge. Mainly of yourself. You did the best you could at the time, even if it doesn’t feel like it. All you can do is keep trying. Forgiveness means giving forward – you’re giving forward to your future. When you’re stuck ruminating in the past, you aren’t giving the future your full energy or attention. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

May Cause Miracles by Gaby Bernstein has been my most influential book!

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find out more about my work here or join my beautiful community on Instagram. The Flip the Script with Vic podcast, a weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective, shares new episodes every Tuesday.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Yoga Helped Me Overcome Anxiety, Binge Eating and Body Dysmorphia appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hey! My name is Sophia Victoria, a young blogger, and entrepreneur doing life in Austin, Texas.

Although I currently live in Texas, I don’t know how long I’ll stay here. My family moves… a lot… to say the least.

I’m the youngest of 4 children, born and raised in Argentina, and I speak 2+ languages. My three older brothers were each born in different countries, so you can imagine how many places we’ve lived!

In my free time, when I’m not working or writing, I daydream about moving to Europe, specifically Amsterdam. Besides my constant daydreaming, I love learning about health and wellness, reading, weight-lifting, journaling, and jamming out to any British rap.

I would consider myself to be joyful. I could be crying, sad, and anxious but still joyful. I realized happiness is a fleeting state dependent on outside factors. I made a conscious effort to build a foundation of gratitude within myself. Focusing on gratitude helps me maintain a positive state of mind regardless of whatever difficulties I may be facing.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

Well, I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa and Anxiety Disorder in 2019.

My anxiety was definitely a late diagnosis. Ever since I was a kid, I remember living under a cloud of anxiety.

For example, when my family and I would go out to Buenos Aires (the capital of Argentina), I would often have full-blown panic attacks. I would lose my appetite entirely and often get sick from the overwhelming thoughts consuming my headspace.

My thoughts spiraled through the darkest possibilities: from potential kidnappings to someone stealing my parents’ phone. My heart would race, I would start feeling nauseous, and become hyper-aware of all of my surroundings.

A few years later, my family moved once again, triggering feelings of desperation, anxiety, and lack of control. English wasn’t my first language then, and leaving behind my childhood friends and familiar surroundings left me feeling hopeless.

The whole situation acted as a trigger for my anxiety. Nevertheless, I performed well in school, continuing my overachieving tendencies.

I could overachieve, strive, and succeed at school. But, no matter how hard I tried, I never seemed to fit in. I wasn’t like the stereotypical blonde, skinny, athletic, and social girls everyone seemed to love and accept. 

All these factors collided, creating a perfect storm. My insecurities and anxiety raged like never before, and before I knew it, I was diagnosed with Anorexia at the age of 12. 

It started with innocent intentions of becoming healthier, but in months, I had to be pulled out from school, dropped weight quickly, was scared of my favorite foods, and felt like a shell of a person. I could recognize my family was concerned and wanted to stop, but I felt a grip on me—I couldn’t stop. I was in too deep. 

Despite being aware that my heart was weakening, my electrolytes were imbalanced, and my organs were shutting down, I couldn’t find a way to stop. I was going in a downward spiral at extreme velocities.

And no one ever seemed to get it. It was never about being skinny. It was the sense of numbness, false sense of control, and comfort that kept me addicted to the high of this cycle.

I was eventually hospitalized and then sent off to residential treatment. I jumped through the hoops, ate the food, and restored some weight. However, Anorexia is a mental thing, not a physical one. So, on paper, I was recovered, but deep down, I was still struggling.

Once I was able to really work through the root cause of my anxiety and self-image, that is when things really started to shift.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

It depends on when you’d ask me that question. My anxiety has always left me feeling misunderstood and like a loser. Thoughts like, ‘Why can everyone enjoy this moment, and I’m freaking out?’ or ‘Why can’t I just go talk to them?’ and ‘Why am I acting like this?’ were a constant chorus in my mind.

Anorexia harmoniously intertwined with my anxiety. It offered a deceptive sense of control that numbed me both physically and psychologically. The peak of my eating disorder was before I was officially diagnosed.

I wasn’t doing anything “wrong”; on the contrary, I was doing everything right. I was looking better and getting compliments and praise for my self-discipline. Yet at my lowest, I felt desperate and like a failure. I believed there was something inherently wrong with me.

What was supposed to make me better and help me fit in somehow morphed into yet another source of insecurity and instability. I remember thinking, ‘A baby can do better than me. I can’t even accomplish the basic task of eating properly.’ This was disheartening.

I was in denial of my eating disorder until it became painfully evident, something no one could ignore. My family was aware of it, and my teachers knew something was wrong, but I never told anyone out loud.

The few friends I had made asked me where I was. Halfway through the school year, I just disappeared. But the feelings of shame, self-loading, and embarrassment held a knife to my throat and kept me silent. I lied and told them I started home-schooling for convenience purposes.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

The one blessing that came from my Anorexia is that I also got diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder. These labels were relieving, but at the same time, frightening. I was relieved I finally knew what was happening, but also mortified that the labels determined who I was and how I was bound to live.

Two years after my diagnosis, I got this strong feeling of not wanting to be known as the anxious girl any longer. I decided that the label would be a guide for me to get better but not dictate who I was or who I would become.

That moment started turning things around. I started studying the science behind anxiety, eating disorders, habits, and treatments. Identifying the patterns, cycles, and habits I had created felt liberating.

The eating disorder was the trickiest thing to overcome because it was a symptom of my anxiety, and most treat it as the root cause due to the visible physical aspects.

I had let Anorexia become my identity, and it took me six years to actually recover. I went through 6+ nutritionists, five therapists, three psychiatrists, and two years of treatment until I realized nothing would make me recover. I had to choose it; I had to be sick of the grip it had on me and use it as fuel to fight.

Once I started hating Anorexia, I finally started accepting myself more.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

1. Study your struggle

This was the #1 best tactic that helped me recover. Understanding what was going on in my head and body allowed me to gain objectivity in what I was going through. 

I realized when irrational food rules or body image distortions crept up; it was the disease talking, not my true self. Externalizing it made it easier to deal with and treat.

I remember studying anorexia, reading case studies, and stories. Every person’s case was different, but there were some key components that remained consistent. Seeing that made me feel normal in what I thought was my ‘abnormality’.

From my studies, I started discovering supportive things to implement in my day. For example, cold showers were a great method for me personally. When I would get urges to restrict or start overthinking, I would take a cold shower. It helped me intervene in these cycles and made me feel ten times better after I took them.

2. Be honest with yourself and others 

Opening up to my support system about how I was truly feeling unlocked numerous doors for me. Prior to this, I wasn’t receiving the necessary support because I hadn’t been communicating my struggles.

The more I shared, the less power the disorder had over me.

Even when I couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone, I still found ways to express my feelings.

I would write things down, have conversations with God, send a text to someone, or even have internal dialogues about what I was experiencing.

It felt like coaching myself away from disordered patterns. The rational and educated part of me was conversing with my emotional and disordered side, so to speak.

Speaking the truth sheds light on things. It helps you gain clarity, understanding, and connect the dots.

3. Have a replacement for your behaviors

Before I could let go, I needed something to fill the void left by my eating disorder and anxiety.

They had become part of my identity and occupied much of my time. Rediscovering my passions, immersing myself in hobbies, and pursuing goals helped me find a purpose that extended beyond my disorder.

During my initial attempt at recovery, I experienced a relapse because I lacked other anchors in my life. Without something else to hold onto, I slipped back into old habits. 

From a rational perspective, this response is understandable. I hadn’t set myself up for success.

4. Write down a list

Writing down a list of everything my Anorexia and anxiety had taken from me: relationships, experiences, memories, and dreams. 

Whenever I needed strength to fight, I would look back at the list I had written, and it was instant fuel to keep fighting.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

At first, I couldn’t speak to anyone about it. I would completely shut down when confronted. My mind raced, but I couldn’t express my feelings or explain why I acted in specific ways. I literally couldn’t utter a word.

As time passed, I discovered that journaling, meditation, and processing my emotions allowed me to gradually open up to my mom about my thoughts and feelings. The key was giving myself time; I needed to make sense of everything internally before I could articulate it externally.

I didn’t feel comfortable talking to my dad or brother about it because I felt judged, misunderstood, and shamed. I never told a single one of my friends. I didn’t want them to see me as pathetic or weird. However, as I began to recover, my reality started to change.

Because it wasn’t so fresh, the whole thing felt easier to talk about. I wasn’t that 12-year-old, confused little girl anymore; I started to connect the dots and make sense of things. 

Now, I find empowerment in sharing my story, whether through blogging or open conversations.

I want to become the person I wish I would have had at 12 years old. 

As I started opening up, I realized how many individuals were navigating similar challenges. By sharing, I gave others around me permission to do the same. It’s like signaling a green light, creating a safe space, and encouraging vulnerability in others.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Your worth does not originate from extrinsic sources. 

Altering your body’s size, your social circle, a specific relationship, or even a particular job won’t provide lasting happiness or increase your deservingness of love.

Avoid falling into the trap that chasing an external ideal will satisfy the current internal conflict.

From your unique fingerprint to your distinctive voice, singular perspective, personal story, and mission— You have SO MUCH to offer!

Know that your disorder doesn’t define you. Just because you have struggled doesn’t mean you have to struggle for the rest of your life. Do the work, be consistent, and be patient. 

Let yourself be free. It’s worth the fight!

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• The Science of Self-Learning: This book covers systems and processes for setting good goals, learning, and adequately teaching yourself new skills.
• Public Opinion: A helpful book for understanding the psychology of influence and how psychology is used to influence your actions and behaviors. 
• Period Repair Manual: This book breaks down everything you need to know to balance your hormones and restore your period after restrictive eating patterns.
• The Magic of Thinking Big: The best book I’ve read on perspective, mindset, goals, and positive thinking.
• Fitness Stuff For Normal People: A great podcast for debunking and supporting fitness topics, all backed by research and studies.
• Healthy Eating & Eating Disorders: This podcast episode by Dr. Andrew Huberman helped me gain a new perspective on eating disorders and the actual physiological mechanisms going on.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

To learn and hear more about me, you can visit my website.

I started my blog to create reliable and helpful content related to health, wellness, lifestyle, and being the person I needed when I was 12.
I would love to hear from you! Feel free to reach out via Email or Instagram DMs.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Behind the Curtains of Anorexia and Anxiety: My Journey Towards Better Mental Health appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi there! My name is Sarah Rollins and I am a survivor. 

If you want the “resume” version of me, read below:

My name is Sarah Rollins and I am a clinical social worker and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. I own a group psychotherapy practice in Michigan, Embodied Wellness, PLLC that specializes in trauma, anxiety, and depression for adolescents and adults.

I was born and raised in metro Detroit, Michigan, and earned my undergraduate and graduate degrees from University of Michigan (Go Blue!). I am 33, single, and bought my first home about a year and a half ago. I have two cats, Bella and Ziggy, and love spending time with my nieces, traveling, and being with family and friends.

At this stage of my life, I experience happiness but would more accurately describe myself as content (most of the time). I see happiness as an emotion and all emotions are fleeting. Contentment is a state of being and therefore can stay steady despite how I feel.

My goal is to be content rather than to be happy. Am I content with every moment of every day? Absolutely not. I am grateful to say that I am content more often than not and more than I ever have been in my life. 

For a more authentic, inclusive version of myself, start here

Resilient. Cat mom. Auntie. Introverted. Outgoing. Loud. Loving. Sweet tooth. Animated. Driven. Couch potato. Yogi. Nap enthusiast. Sister. Daughter. White. Jewish. Homeowner. Business owner. Social worker. Messy. Organized. Friend. Niece. Survivor. Heterosexual. She/Her/Hers. Anxious. Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. 33. Traveler. Type A. Giving. Single. Vegetarian. Woman. Stubborn. Millennial. Self-conscious. Animal lover. All of these. None of these. 

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

For as long as I can remember, my inner world was chaotic. I always felt like my emotions were so big and my thoughts were turned up too loud. Around middle school, as a way to cope with both an external and internal world that felt so out of control, I unconsciously began to control what I could: what I ate and how my body looked.

My dad had been diagnosed with cancer and life felt very unpredictable, scary, and like a ticking time bomb. At first, my eating disorder looked very benign. I would eat a little bit less for lunch or not eat certain foods that I deemed “bad” once in a while. It wasn’t all the time and it didn’t consume me. 

In an effort to not body shame or make this about getting tricks about how to “body check,” I will spare certain details about my eating disorder. An aspect that propelled my disorder forward was body checking. There were specific parts of my body that I despised- or more accurately disgusted me.

I also learned “rules” (that at the time I thought were true) about what makes a woman beautiful. I became obsessed with certain parts of my body to ensure that they fit a very narrow standard of beauty. 

Looking back over 2 decades later, I remember seeing countless professionals but don’t know if anyone ever told me what my formal diagnosis was. Maybe they told my parents, maybe they weren’t sure, maybe they were confused or in denial? What I do remember is my parents being worried.

I don’t know if I ever said to my parents or anyone else “I have an eating disorder” until I sought out residential treatment when I was 18. But, I do know that after my initial stages of denial, I diagnosed myself with “anorexia”.

I was below what society deems as a normal body weight for my height and age and the fear of gaining weight plagued my every thought. My self-worth wasn’t just influenced by my body, it was the only factor contributing to it. I could not remember the last time I menstruated. My nails were brittle and consistently blue. My face was more than hollow, it was lifeless. I had become a shell of myself. 

When I entered treatment, I was formally diagnosed with Eating Disorder, not otherwise specified. I was appalled. I felt like a failure. I was one thing- anorexic- and I couldn’t even be good at that, I thought.

This diagnosis, at the time, was meant for people who didn’t meet the full criteria for anorexia nervosa or another eating disorder but still exhibited eating-disordered thoughts and behaviors. If I wasn’t thin enough…would I ever be good enough for anything?

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I wish there were a combination of words that I could put together to convey the impact my eating disorder had on me. From about 10th grade through my freshman year of college, the majority of my thoughts were consumed by food, body image, or weight. I couldn’t go to a movie without thinking about the amount of calories I had eaten throughout the day and if I had any left to spare.

Every time I walked by a mirror I would simultaneously divert my eyes with disgust and feel the urge to “body check.” I would wake up in the middle of the night with my stomach growling counting down the hours until I would allow myself to eat again. A coping skill that was supposed to quiet my mind soon prevented me from feeling any joy, connection, or love. 

I wish I could say that I hid my eating disorder well, but that would be a lie. At the time I thought I did and tried all the tricks of the trade to keep things a secret. My parents would buy me protein drinks and I’d pour them down the drain when they weren’t looking. I pretended I was allergic to oil so I didn’t have to explain why I didn’t want to eat it.

I thought that people didn’t notice the weird things I did with food or how thin I got but that was just a way that my eating disorder kept me under its spell. Besides my parents, no one directly approached me with their concerns.

In high school, there were some students who anonymously went to the guidance counselor about my weight. Naturally, my 15-year-old self was defensive and angry, “how dare they not bring this to me and go behind my back?” Now I have endless compassion for whoever those students were. How brave they were to stand up for me. How lucky I was that people cared. 

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

There were multiple moments throughout my adolescence when I told myself I wasn’t going to “do that” anymore. “That” sometimes meant body checking, or not restricting dessert, or going to bed hungry. The list goes on.

I would be successful for a few hours, days, or even weeks but it wouldn’t last. True and lasting change only came when I realized that I was no longer in control of my eating disorder, rather it was in control of me. 

When I started my freshman year of college, I told myself I didn’t need a therapist anymore and that I could “do it all myself.” Doing it all myself resulted in me almost passing out at the first football game due to fatigue, nearly scaring my parents to death when I participated in the 24-hour dance marathon, and feeling empty, alone, and lost.

People around me were having fun, making friends, and actually living while I was obsessing about food and too tired to leave my bed. Even worse (in my mind), my hunger cues come back and I started to feel so hungry that I worried I would not be able to control myself and gain the dreaded “freshman 15” 

The summer after my freshman year, after approximately 6 years of struggling, I was privileged to go to a residential treatment center for 7 weeks.

During treatment, I learned how to stop engaging in disordered eating and most importantly, cope with my inner world and underlying mental health disorder. Even though my healing journey did not end in treatment, I wholeheartedly believe that without it I would not be where I am today, 15 years in recovery.

I believe having the familial resources to find the treatment center, finances to participate and the ability to leave for 7 weeks was the result of my circumstances and for that, I am so grateful. I also had to be the one to choose life and every single day make the decision to do something different. No one else could do that for me.  

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

The first step was admitting to myself what I was really doing. I am a pretty good b*llshitter and can convince myself of things that are not true.

• “I shouldn’t eat after this time because it’s not good for me.”
• “It’s okay to eat a little bit less.”
• “Vegetables make up a healthy and well-rounded meal.”

The list goes on and on. At the end of the day, these were all ways for me to justify my eating-disordered behavior. 

One of the things I heard a lot while I was struggling was “You can’t trust yourself” and I thought this was true. What I thought was a healthy amount of calories was equivalent to a serving size of carrots. A major milestone in my recovery was learning to differentiate between what was my intuition/wise mind/Self versus what was my eating disorder.

In the past, I labeled my eating disorder voice, “ED” to help me know which voices belonged to who. I wrote a list of common thoughts I had and if they belong to “Self” or “ED.”

For example, a common thought I would have was “When I see myself in the mirror I need to body check to make sure I haven’t gained weight.” This is an “ED” thought not a “Self” thought and I know that because I don’t “need” to do anything when I see myself in the mirror and I wouldn’t tell a friend to do that. 

Prior to residential treatment, I would weigh myself in the morning, after school, and before bed; before I went to the bathroom, after I went to the bathroom; before I drank water, while drinking water, and after drinking water. Pretty much all the time.

The problem was, the number was never good enough. No matter how low it was, I was never satisfied and if the number went up, I felt like a failure. It was a lose-lose.

In treatment, our nutritionist would blind-weigh us to ensure that we were properly being nourished. For a while after treatment, I would continue blind weigh-ins with my doctor so I was accountable but I never saw that number.

I have not seen my weight in over 15 years. I don’t even own a scale! When I go to the doctor’s for a check-up, I turn around on the scale and ask them to not tell me my weight. How I feel in my body, how my clothes fit, my behaviors around food, and my thinking are more accurate indicators of my health than any number could ever be.

In my experience, I don’t think I could’ve recovered without residential treatment. Residential treatment is long-term (minimum 28 days) where you stay overnight at a facility and spend the day in individual and group therapy. In treatment, I was able to get out of my environment, focus solely on getting better, and not have to worry about school, friends, family, or work.

Did I still worry about these things? Of course! But the longer I was there, the easier it was to truly put my needs first. The people who I was in treatment with became my family. For the first time, I felt understood and not so alone. I was allowed to be my authentic self without judgment, criticism, or shame. We had each other’s backs. We laughed, cried, and learned to be vulnerable together. 

Residential treatment introduced me to twelve-step programs for eating disorders such as Eating Disorders Anonymous, Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous, and Overeaters Anonymous. When I first heard about these programs, I thought, “Oh, h*ll no am I going to believe in God.” God gave my dad cancer and has caused all of these problems.

The admissions coordinator of the program told me I didn’t have to believe in God, I just had to have the desire to stop engaging in eating-disordered behavior. So with trepidation, I said “Fine” and trusted him.

Although I currently do not participate in any twelve-step program, I believe it is a foundation for my recovery. I spent three years attending meetings, working with a sponsor, sponsoring others, and doing the steps. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

When I was struggling with my eating disorder, I did not talk to anyone about it. At first, it was because I hadn’t admitted to myself I had an eating disorder, and then later because I was too ashamed to talk about it. I worried that no one else would understand. I feared that people would just judge me rather than listen or say “Just go eat a big steak” (and yes people would say that to me).

Once I got into recovery, I opened up to my close friends about it and went to twelve-step recovery meetings. Meetings were a space where I felt heard by others who had the same experience. It was game-changing to be able to call someone else in recovery any day, anytime if I felt triggered and not feel like a bother. 

As someone who identifies as a “talker,” I pretty much share most things about myself with others. I like talking so much I even talk in my sleep. Talking is one of the main ways I connect. For the most part, I don’t find it hard to share my struggles with someone else.

I also know that it feels very different to share something when I feel I’m in solid recovery versus when I’m actively in a battle with it. With 15 years of recovery, I don’t feel the shame that I once felt about myself and my actions which prevented me from opening up. 

Despite being in recovery for over a decade and feeling proud of myself for what I’ve overcome, there is still a small part of me that is scared for this article to be published. Will people judge me? Will people think differently of me? Will I be less credible as a therapist? What will family and friends say?

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

What I wish I realized earlier was that my body was never the enemy. I always thought that my body was against me. I was always fighting it- to be thinner, prettier, better. My body felt like the problem. In reality, my body was trying to protect me.

This may seem very counterintuitive, especially because anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. By restricting my food intake my body was protecting me from feeling. The less I ate, the less I felt. What I was feeling at the time felt too painful to endure so my body came up with a coping strategy to help me when I didn’t know what else to do.

Just because my body was trying to protect me doesn’t mean that it was okay or healthy for me to continue with my eating disorder. The reason this is important and I wish I would’ve understood this sooner was that I was fighting the wrong “battle.” The “battle” was never against my body.

My body was actually on my side but just went to extreme lengths to get its point across. My body was trying to help me cope with an underlying mental illness that was undiagnosed, untreated, and dramatically impacting my life.

Research shows that up to 97% of individuals with anorexia also have a mental health disorder. Only once my eating disorder was treated could I even begin to address the anxiety and depression fueling it. 

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Life Without Ed: This book helped me differentiate between my eating disorder voice and my own voice
• Milestones in Recovery: This is the residential treatment facility that I attended for 7 weeks
• Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous: This is a resource to find Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous meetings near you or order the book.
• Eating Disorders Anonymous: This is a resource to find Eating Disorder Anonymous meetings near you or order the book.
• Overeaters Anonymous: This is a resource to find Overeaters Anonymous meetings near you or order the book.

Utilizing resources does not mean you are weak, rather it proves how strong and resilient you are. You don’t have to recover in isolation. I hope you can benefit from these resources or a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me by visiting my website, or on Instagram, LinkedIn or Facebook.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post Residential Treatment Started My Healing Journey From Eating Disorders & Negative Body Image appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi there! My name is Cherie Miller, and I’m a licensed therapist in the Dallas-Fort Worth area in Texas, though I lived in Denver, Colorado for 10 years post-college.

But after starting a family, my husband and I moved back to Texas to be closer to my family, and now we live five minutes from the house I grew up in! We have two feisty children, an eight-year-old boy and a four-(going on 13)-year old girl, plus a rambunctious dog and kitten.

Helping people make peace with food and their bodies by being a therapist is actually my second career. I decided I wanted to do that after I went through and recovered from an eating disorder myself.

Originally though, I majored in English in college and ended up working in corporate marketing for about a decade. I already knew then that I wanted to get my Master’s degree and do counseling, but the person I was married to at the time wasn’t supportive of that.

Once I separated from him many years later, I enrolled in a graduate program for professional counseling and my second chapter began! 

Now I’m not only a therapist, but I get to use my business experience as well by running my own group practice. I have several amazing therapists and dietitians who work for me, and I absolutely love the work I get to do now. Of course, there are days I wonder what in the world I got myself into, but I still wouldn’t trade it for any other career.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

In high school, I really started to struggle with my self-esteem and body image. I felt like the sidekick friend who wasn’t as thin and pretty as the other girls, and while all my friends were starting to date, no one was asking me out. I only had a date to prom because one of my guy friend’s girlfriend broke up with him a couple of weeks before, so we went as buddies.

I was very self-conscious about my body, especially my stomach, and would spend hours in front of my mirror, crying and pinching at my fat from every angle.

One night, before going out with my friends, I wrapped my stomach with athletic tape so tight I could hardly breathe in an attempt to make my stomach as flat as my friends. (It didn’t work and my friends made fun of me about it for a long time after.)

It wasn’t until I went to college and gained weight my freshman year, that I decided to go on my first serious diet. I also started running, thinking that I was being healthy by exercising more.

Unfortunately, it quickly spiraled out of control and it began to consume me. Within just a few months, I was struggling with a clinical eating disorder and compulsive exercise. 

Not seeing the reality of what was happening, people complimented me on the weight loss and my new body, which was so harmful. Eating disorders are very manipulative and mine used every compliment against me by pointing out how terrible I obviously looked before and how much better people liked me when I was thinner.

Now I caution others to be careful about complimenting people’s weight loss because you never know what could be behind it. It could be depression, grief, an eating disorder, cancer, or any number of physical and mental health issues.

And it’s always a backhanded compliment, whether you mean it that way or not. Saying “Wow, you look great since you lost weight!” indirectly implies they did not look great at their previous weight.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Having an eating disorder is so much more than just wanting to be thin. Yes, I was obsessed with wanting to lose weight, but there were many, many other things underneath that. I desperately wanted to feel good about myself and loved by others.

At times, my eating disorder gave me that sense of identity, accomplishment, and approval I wanted. As I mentioned earlier, I got a lot of positive attention when I lost weight.

Even the restrictive way I ate, though it might have seemed extreme at times to people, was something they admired. It just looked like self-control or discipline to them, things that people often feel they lack.

Our culture has normalized so many disordered eating habits that it can be hard to recognize an eating disorder. And unfortunately, the system of women’s value being tied to their proximity to the beauty ideal (which is a young, thin, white ideal) is still very much alive. Yet despite the things that my eating disorder offered me, there was definitely a dark side.

For one, those things were fleeting. I only felt them for brief moments while the rest of the time, I was still racked with insecurity and self-loathing. I was even more fixated on how I hated my body than before, and then I also became obsessed with food. I thought about food constantly and even dreamed about it.

My whole life revolved around trying to eat as little as possible, only eating “healthy” food, and then ultimately ending up bingeing and purging, only to start the cycle over again. It was exhausting and left little time and energy for other aspects of my life. In my worst moments, I believed I would never recover and that I would spend my whole life trapped in that cycle.

Even once my eating disorder started to get better, I was absolutely certain that I would have to deal with my body hatred forever. I couldn’t imagine looking down at myself in the shower and feeling anything but disgust.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

When I was in college studying abroad in Oxford, England for a semester, I came to realize that I had an eating disorder. I was running out of money because of all the food I was buying and was even starting to steal food from other people in the house.

Between that and all the purging I was doing, I felt a lot of shame. I also was feeling exhausted. It takes a lot of energy to maintain an eating disorder, especially combined with the compulsive running I was doing. By then, I was running so much not just to burn calories, but also to punish myself. I would even sneak out to go running downtown by myself at midnight or 1 am sometimes even though it wasn’t safe. 

I actually confessed to a roommate one day that I thought I had an eating disorder, which didn’t go well because she basically said I was lying and just looking for attention. Later, that roommate caught me after purging one day and said she believed me after all and that I needed help. From there, I started recovery, which was a painful process.

It’s a long story, but the gist of is that I managed to white-knuckle through stopping the eating disorder behaviors and running, but I didn’t do the deeper healing so I still suffered emotionally for years. I continued to struggle with depression, disliking myself and my body, and dieting. (Today, I call this stage quasi-recovery because I see that I wasn’t fully recovered.)

Eventually, after I left my first husband who was abusive, I relapsed. Hard. I lost even more weight and got even deeper into compulsive running. 

Thankfully, I was ready to do the deeper work and also be more open with my support system. I got into therapy and leaned heavily on my friends and family when I needed it instead of trying to recover alone like I had the first time. I also met my now husband towards the end of my recovery journey (the real one this time!) and his unconditional love was very healing for me.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

In addition to therapy and leaning into my support system, I also immersed myself in content related to body positivity and practicing a food freedom philosophy called intuitive eating. I read so many books and listened to countless podcasts during that time, which made a huge difference.

Unlearning things I had been taught to believe about food and bodies took quite a bit of time and work, but the key for me was to replace all that with more positive beliefs by learning a ton of new information. If you’re open-minded, information can be powerful in shifting perspectives! 

For example, I learned about Health at Every Size (HAES), which promotes pursuing health from a weight-neutral place. Honestly, I started out thinking HAES was ridiculous because “everyone knows that being fat is bad for you,”, but was open to learning about it. I ended up being shocked to see how misinformed we are about weight and health!

I also started seeing what social justice issues weight bias and stigma are. Our cultural obsession with thinness is not just an individual issue but is also a societal problem that affects millions of people. This kindled a passion outside my own experience to not just learn body acceptance for myself, but to do something to make society more accepting and inclusive of body diversity.

Learning and practicing intuitive eating was also key in truly recovering from my eating disorder. I started rejecting the diet mentality and the black-and-white thinking about food that’s so common now. I now realize that foods don’t belong in the “good” and “bad” categories and that all foods can fit into a healthful way of eating.

I stopped listening to messages that create fear and anxiety about certain foods, and strive to listen to my body’s cues about eating. I never thought I would say this, but with time and practice, I’ve learned to trust my body and it’s learned to trust me! Most of the time, I let my body guide me in what, when, and how much I need to eat.

Lastly, learning and practicing things to challenge my perfectionism and inner critic voice has made a significant difference in my mental health. Like I’m honored to be able to teach clients now, I’ve learned to recognize and challenge the unhelpful thoughts that used to create a lot of problems for me. I’m still working on learning to treat myself as kindly as I treat the people I care about!

When it comes to recovering from an eating disorder, yes, I’ve gained weight. Truthfully, more weight than I ever thought I could accept. I’m also happier and healthier than I was when I was thinner. So maybe I gained weight… but I also gained my best life, and it was absolutely worth it. 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I’ve been very open about my struggles because I want others to know that they’re not alone–and that there is hope for recovery from an eating disorder even though it might feel impossible!

I also think it’s important to reduce the stigma around eating disorders and mental health issues in general, and talking about these things is important for that.

At the end of the day, we all have “stuff,” and I don’t understand the point of pretending otherwise. I’ve learned compassion for myself and others in this journey, and that is an antidote to shame.

I don’t generally find it difficult to open up to others because authenticity is a big value of mine. I also believe that authenticity and vulnerability are key to thriving relationships. I don’t do the small talk stuff very well, I really want to connect with people on the important things. 

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

One thing I wish I had known was how important it is to not only learn a lot of new information and skills but that you have to actually practice them consistently for there to be change. I love to learn, which is wonderful! But knowledge alone doesn’t usually lead to healing.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating by Christy Harrison: Helped me learn about diet culture, how it is harmful, to question the paradigm of being fat is bad. (also her podcast, Food Psych):
• Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch: Helped me learn how to give up restrictive eating and practice a gentler, more personal approach to eating.
• Body Respect: What Conventional Health Books Get Wrong, Leave Out, and Just Plain Fail to Understand about Weight by Linda Bacon and Lucy Aphramor.
• Health At Every Size by Linda Bacon: Helped me see that so much of what we’re led to believe about weight is wrong or at least, not rock-solid science. 
• Intuitive Bites podcast by Kirsten Ackerman: Helped me with so many things related to eating disorder recovery!
• More than a Body: Your Body is an Instrument, Not an Ornament by Lexie Kite and Lindsay Kite: Helped me recognize and challenge culture’s messages about women’s bodies primarily being for the pleasure and consumption of others. 
• Body Image Remix: Embrace Your Body and Unleash the Fierce, Confident Woman Within by Summer Innanen: Helped me build an identity outside my appearance. (also, her podcast, Eat The Rules)

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can learn more about me here or follow me on Instagram and Facebook.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Recovered From Negative Body Image and Binge Eating With Therapy and Social Support appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

My name is Alana Van Der Sluys and I’m a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, TEDx speaker, eating disorder survivor, and the founder of Freedom with Food and Fitness. 

I am dedicated to empowering women to heal their relationship with food and their bodies to step into their potential, take up space, and pursue true health! 

I currently host the Finally Free Podcast, and my debut book– Freedom with Food and Fitness: How Intuitive Eating is the Key to Becoming Your Happiest, Healthiest Self–will be released with Urano World USA on November 7, 2023.

I am a contributing writer for several national publications, including the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC) and Best Holistic Life Magazine. I was also, most recently, a panelist and speaker for the Speak Up Women’s Conference in April 2023. 

Aside from this business, which is my life’s passion, I’m also a high school English and journalism teacher in New Jersey, living at home with my son, Archer; my husband, Scott; and our fur baby feline, Captain Oats. I’m a lover of reading, writing, taking long walks with a podcast in my ear, and Stranger Things!

For the first time in a long time, I feel fulfilled in my life because of my journey to eating disorder recovery, I’ve realized that happiness is not a destination, a goal weight, or an accolade; it’s a chosen present state of mind. Whatever is happening around me, I chose to see the good, or at the very least, choose to see a lesson I can take out of the “bad.”

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My struggle was undiagnosed eating disorders: binge eating disorder (restricting food with subsequent periods of overeating), body dysmorphic disorder (fixating on a minor or perceived body flaw), and orthorexia (an obsession with “clean eating”), specifically.  

These struggles were private, and shameful and went under the radar of my loved ones for seven years. It took just about as long to recover, thanks to a philosophy I now teach other women about, intuitive eating. 

My struggles with eating disorders, I came to find, had actually nothing to do with my actual body size or shape or my relationship with food. It had to do with my socialized belief that thinness was more attractive and that I needed to be attractive in order to be worthy.

I had an unhealthy reliance on the validations of others for my worthiness, something I learned in childhood. I was also a perfectionist as a way to protect myself from criticism, and again, in my mind, being thin meant your life was closer to perfect. 

My eating disorders started “innocent” enough as “watching what I ate” and counting calories. Over time, though, it developed into obsessively counting calories, anxiety around social gatherings that included food, body checking for hours a day, my hair falling out, and my cholesterol skyrocketing, among other things. All I could think about was food and what the number on the scale would be the next day.

This struggle ended up taking over all parts of my life, not just my eating and exercise habits. I wasn’t present with loved ones, I couldn’t concentrate in school and I couldn’t enjoy sex. It was every part of my life that suffered. 

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I couldn’t allow myself to be happy. Even at my lowest weight (which is considered “underweight”), I hated who I saw in the mirror. It was never enough and it would never be enough because my actual body wasn’t the problem. I would never feel worthy until I gave that feeling of worthiness to myself. I always felt I was never enough. I was always anxious and nervous about food. 

People would either tell me I looked too skinny, which would always fuel my disorder, or they would compliment my thinness and ask me for advice, which again, only fueled and validated my disorder. I tried to hide it under the guise of “health and fitness” and a “wellness lifestyle” but it had become an unhealthy obsession: body, mind, and spirit.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

One light bulb moment for me was reading a blog post by a blogger who I looked up to that was all about her diagnosis of hypothalamic amenorrhea.

To me, she had the perfect life, husband, body, etc. And now she was telling the world she was an unhealthy weight and lost her menstrual cycle, finding it hard to conceive. I wanted a family one day and the post scared me; it made me realize I could be doing major harm to my body. 

I started listening to podcasts and reading books about intuitive eating. I dove into the work I needed to do to heal myself. I had to come to terms with my body was going to look however it was meant to, unless I wanted to fight against it for the rest of my life, all for some superficial ideal. 

The changes I made were almost exclusively the result of my actions. We can’t control our circumstances but we can always control how we respond to them. 

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

The first thing I would do is learn about intuitive eating. Learn everything you can through podcasts, social media, books, etc. But I would also recommend doing something I didn’t: get professional support in the form of an intuitive eating coach; bonus points for finding one who has also suffered through similar issues with food and their bodies. 

For seven years, I denied myself professional support because I thought I couldn’t afford it, that I could do it on my own, and that it was shameful to need help. All these thoughts were thought errors coming from a scarcity mindset.

Your health–true health, not diet culture health–is the most important thing and to not make it a top priority is a mistake, one I personally made. You can afford what you make a priority. You don’t need to be ashamed of needing help. We all need help in one way or another.

Connect with people who have walked the journey before and make friends with like-minded individuals who have the same struggles and goals as you. Don’t do it alone. 

Another very tangible piece of advice is learning that your thoughts create your emotions which drive your actions. I’ve created a playoff this cognitive behavioral therapy model called Chill the F*ck Out (Circumstance, Thought, Feeling, Outcome).

You can also use it backwards as a goal-setting activity. If you know what you want the outcome to be, what feelings do you need to generate in order to inspire you to create that outcome, and what thoughts would you need to feel in order to generate those emotions? 

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

It took me a while to be brave enough to start my business because I would essentially have to tell the entire world I had an eating disorder, but I got over it because people need to hear this message.

People need to feel not alone and not crazy for thinking and behaving the way they do around food. It’s not their fault and they’re not broken. They just need strategy and support. 

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I said this before but get expert support. You can afford it, but you have to make it a priority. You will not fail. Failure doesn’t exist unless you give up completely.

Be vulnerable enough to say you have a problem and surround yourself with people who “get it.”  Don’t put it off thinking it’s going to get better on its own.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• The Intuitive Eating Workbook.
• Brooke Castillo’s “The Life Coach School” podcast.
• Jessi Jean’s “Dear Body Podcast”.
• The Body Love Society’s “How to Love Your Body” podcast.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can learn more about me, grab some free resources, or learn how to work with me as your intuitive eating and body image coach here: 

• www.freedomwithfoodandfitness.com
• www.instagram.com/freedomwithfoodandfitness
• https://www.freedomwithfoodandfitness.com/ebook (free ebook: “3 EASY Ways to Boost Health With Intuitive Eating”.
• Finally Free Podcast.
• TEDx Talk: “Why Wellness Culture is Elitist”.
• You can pre-order my upcoming book here.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Story of Overcoming Binge Eating and Negative Body Image to Achieve True Health appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I’m Skye Sauchelli, a small-town 20-something-year-old who lives on the Jersey Shore. I grew up 20 minutes from the beach and still call it home today. I bought a house with my husband last year that’s just around the corner from my childhood home. 

I’m super family-oriented, love baking healthy versions of my favorite sweets, and absolutely love going on walks with my rescue pup. 

I truly feel so content and happy in my current life since I started moving at a slower pace and started being super intentional about carving out small chunks of time in my day for “me time.” I strive to schedule both joy and rest into my calendar, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been!

During the day, I work as an Employment Specialist for a nonprofit organization, and by night, I’m a personal development blogger. I absolutely love inspiring others to grow and have made it my life’s mission!

If I could inspire a life-changing movement, it would be a movement focused on empowering young women to feel confident in their physical bodies, their minds, and their pursuits. I think that this three-pronged approach is the key to being unstoppable, thriving women.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I have really struggled with my body image in my teenage and young adult years. I felt like I was too “thick,” that my thighs were too giggly, my belly wasn’t flat enough, and my butt wasn’t bubbly enough.

I constantly compared my body to everyone else’s. And I viewed my perfectly healthy body as “bad” and not good enough. I was self-conscious of what I wore and always strived to wear clothes that hid my insecurities. I didn’t allow myself to wear clothes I loved because they highlighted a perceived flaw in my body.

There were a few factors that contributed to my body issues, most notably, social media. I was constantly being bombarded with images of friends’ (and even strangers’) bodies that seemed perfect (you know – society’s ideal of “perfect”). 

As I graduated high school and transitioned into college, I gained some weight which only exacerbated my body image issues. I became very restrictive with my eating habits and wasn’t fueling my body properly. I limited my caloric intake and tracked my food religiously (and obsessively) in an app.

In my later years of college, and after I graduated, I began to implement a workout routine. But luckily, this routine was rooted in health and genuine wellness. My dad brought me to the gym and taught me the proper form for strength training. At this point, I was starting to understand that working out was not a punishment for what I ate, but rather a celebration of what my body could do. 

Exercise became about getting stronger and building muscle, not about creating a calorie deficit. I think this was the turning point for me. My perspective on food and exercise shifted from a very damaging and unhealthy one to a perspective that was much safer and healthier. 

Even though I have a better understanding of healthy food intake and exercise now, I still struggle sometimes with body image. Sometimes, I look down at my belly rolls and feel discouraged. Other days, I look at that belly and remember all the strength my core holds. I think with body image, confidence, and self-worth, it’s an ongoing journey!

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At its worst, my body image issues caused me to severely restrict my food intake. I would skip meals and then have something as small as a cheese stick for lunch.

When you aren’t filling your body with whole foods in adequate portions, not only is your physical health impacted, but your mental health can take a nose dive. 

I hated how my body looked and I was starving. Of course, I wasn’t feeling my best (both inside and out). But I tried really hard to keep these feelings under wraps because it was kind of my “first soiree” with a mental health struggle.

I didn’t intentionally hide my eating habits. It was more of a subconscious thing. I don’t think many people really noticed the changes I made to my wardrobe because I was so self-conscious about how I looked.

Ultimately, unconsciously, I tried to minimize the impact of these struggles to the outside world. I think I was embarrassed by my feelings.

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Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

I think the catalyst for change in my body image journey was when I decided to get off of social media. I was totally addicted, especially to Instagram. So I decided to take a step back, and I stayed off of social media for five whole years!

Once I limited my consumption of triggering images and content (super skinny Instagram influencers and such), I slowly started thinking less and less about my body. I stopped focusing so much on it. 

I’d say almost 60% of the change in how I viewed my body came from my action to remove myself from social media. It had been probably 4 years of struggling with my body image before my view of myself began to change. 

The other 40% of the change likely came from the formation of a healthier exercise mindset and other mindset shifts I’ll talk about later.

I started focusing a whole lot less on my body overall, leading to fewer negative feelings about it.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

If you’re also struggling with body image issues, here’s what I recommend:

• Take a break from social media, or at the very least, mute or unfollow accounts that cause you to feel bad about your own body.
• Lean into other things that bring you joy so you can shift the focus away from your body and onto other things.
• Put sticky notes on your mirror that tell you:
  • You are not your body.
  • You are not your belly rolls.
  • You are not your cellulite.
  • You are not your skin.
  • Your worth is not tied to what your body looks like. Your worth is in who you are as a person, on the inside.
• Stop looking at all of your “imperfections.”
• Surround yourself with healthy narratives about your body and food/health. Create a circle of friends that are uplifting and encouraging. 
• Eat when you’re hungry. Listen to your body’s cues.

The journey toward viewing your body in a positive light will be different for everyone. Some people may be harsh on their bodies because they don’t have the toned, defined muscles they want. Others may look at that girl and dream of having her body as they look at their own roles and curves. 

What’s important is that you engage in healthy thought patterns and healthy eating patterns and healthy workout regimens.

If you shift the focus toward health and being healthy, instead of about what your body looks like, you’re on the right track.

And if you’re wondering how long it will take you to get through your body image struggle, I want to remind you that healing is not linear, and your recovery is not a race.

Navigating through these waters is challenging. Your growth toward a better view of your body will take time and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. 

As long as you are making daily movements toward loving your body more, you’re doing good. It’s totally normal to have bad days. Maybe you’re extra harsh on yourself after a string of better days. Don’t let that ruin your progress. Accept the bad day, and move on from there.

And the last thing I’ll challenge you with is to not go through this journey alone. Share your struggles with a trusted friend or mentor.

Growth and healing are both found in community.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I only really started talking about my body image issues once I got into my mid-20s. I think I had a better handle on the impact it had on me, and a better idea of how to thoughtfully share about it as I got a bit older.

I try my best to be an open book, but I also didn’t go around and advertise my struggles. If a friend came to me to chat about her own struggles relating to this, I’d absolutely be open about my struggles. But it’s not like I ran to my loved ones to tell them I was engaging in restrictive eating because I hated my body.

I didn’t talk about it at school, but I talked about it with my (now) husband and some friends. I didn’t really want to advertise it so I didn’t share it with anyone who wasn’t close to me. I didn’t formally tell my parents, but I never intentionally kept it from them either – probably because, at the time, I didn’t realize the gravity of restrictive eating.

I’ve always had an affinity for talking about mental health, probably because I love psychology and that’s what I went to school for. So thankfully, for me, I had the vocabulary and knowledge to think through and talk about it.

Even if you don’t have an understanding of mental health, you can use the feelings you have to share with a loved one. Your feelings are valid and nobody can take them away from you.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

If you’re struggling with your body image, I want to tell you this:

You are so much more than your body. Your worth and value are found so much deeper than your outer shell.

And I want to remind you of all the seriously crazy things your body does for you each day. It digests your food and breathes for you without you having to think about it. Your legs get you where you need to go each day. Your core and other muscles help you carry out everyday tasks. Your beautiful mind is functioning every second of every day to help you learn and remember things.

You hate this body so much, despite all the work it does for you.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

I’ve come across a few really helpful resources over the years that have helped me along my body image journey:

• Jenna Kutcher’s Instagram account: Her account has shaped how I view my body. She often writes about how she loves her cellulite and rolls and smile lines so much because they are proof that her body is working FOR her.
• Woman Code by Alisa Vitti: This book helped me understand how beautifully my body works. It educated me on my hormones and gave me a better understanding of the inner workings of my body so I could appreciate it for more than what it looked like.
• Jordan Lee Dooley’s She Podcast: This podcast discusses a host of topics about womanhood and health, and while it doesn’t solely target body image, the host walks through her journey toward holistic health.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find me online on my personal development website, Thriving and Inspiring. I’m so passionate about scheduling in both joy and rest, I created a self-care calendar- a Feel Good Challenge for it! Find it here.

You can also follow me on Instagram, connect on LinkedIn, or find me on Pinterest. I’m most active on Pinterest and Instagram! Follow me for uplifting and encouraging quotes and infographics that all point to new bi-monthly blog posts!

Lastly, I send out bi-monthly newsletters to my email club! Join here!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

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Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Instragram Caused My Negative Body Image, and How I Overcame it appeared first on Tracking Happiness.