Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, I’m Katy! While I currently reside on the island of Montreal, Canada, my roots trace back to a small town nestled along the majestic Temiscouata Lake. 

After having conquered the challenges of social anxiety, I discovered my life’s purpose. Today, I am a proud Social Anxiety Coach and Certified Hypnotherapist. 

Being able to guide others on their journey towards self-confidence is not just my profession but a genuine passion. It’s incredibly rewarding to witness the transformation and empowerment that my clients experience as they break free from the shackles of social anxiety. 

Through coaching and hypnotherapy, I empower individuals to rewrite their narratives, step into their true selves, and discover the strength they never knew they had. The sense of purpose and fulfillment I derive from this work is beyond words, and I feel truly blessed to walk this path.

As for happiness, it was not always the case, but my journey has led me to a place of contentment and joy. Life’s twists and turns have taught me that happiness isn’t a constant state but a series of moments we must savor.

Today, I find happiness in the connections I forge, the smiles I share, and the positive impact I have on the lives of others.

In this beautiful journey of self-discovery, I’ve learned that true happiness comes from embracing our authentic selves, and that’s a gift I strive to pass on to those I have the privilege to coach and support.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I used to struggle with social anxiety for as long as I can remember.

I felt an intense fear of judgment, criticism, and a belief that I didn’t fit in or that something was inherently wrong with me. The fear of being singled out or negatively evaluated in social situations was constantly present in my life. This fear manifested as physical symptoms like trembling, blushing, and rapid heart rate when I had to speak in public or engage in conversations.

I was always a shy and introverted child, which continued into adolescence. My struggle was significantly influenced by growing up in a small town where I felt like I didn’t fit in.

My racial background set me apart, and I internalized the belief that being different was something to be feared and ashamed of. The fear of judgment and criticism from others deepened during these crucial years, leading to a heightened sense of social anxiety.

Over time, my social anxiety developed into a pervasive force that impacted every aspect of my life. From avoiding social situations to self-censoring in conversations, it became a constant companion, restricting my growth and happiness.

However, the turning point came when it started impacting my performance at work. I had trouble expressing myself in meetings, and my boss told me to find a solution. I decided to confront and address this struggle head-on by joining a Toastmasters club.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

My struggle with social anxiety made me feel utterly isolated and profoundly unhappy. It was as if a dark cloud of self-doubt and fear constantly loomed over me. I felt like an outsider, disconnected from the world around me.

The anxiety was relentless, and it gnawed at my self-esteem and overall well-being. Happiness seemed like an elusive dream, something that others could experience but remained out of my reach.

The impact on my happiness was severe. I found myself avoiding social situations, which led to missed opportunities for personal and professional growth. The sense of isolation and loneliness was overwhelming.

The struggle with social anxiety prevented me from forming meaningful connections and enjoying the richness of life’s social interactions. It wasn’t merely a fleeting discomfort; it was a pervasive and persistent presence that tainted my experiences.

For a long time, I tried to hide my struggle from those around me. I didn’t want to burden others with my internal battles, and I was ashamed of my perceived inadequacies.

It wasn’t always clear to others that I was grappling with something so significant since I had been struggling for so long. They were not able to notice any changes. I

It wasn’t until I started my journey of self-acceptance and sought help that I began to open up about my social anxiety. It was a liberating step towards healing and recovery.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

The fear of speaking up in meetings or making presentations became a significant barrier to my career advancement. I knew I couldn’t let this anxiety define my future any longer.

The change began when I decided to join a Toastmasters club, which provided a supportive environment for me to work on my public speaking skills and overcome my social anxiety.

My decision to take the initiative to join this club was a pivotal step, and it was driven by my own determination to break free from the limitations social anxiety had imposed on me.

My struggle with social anxiety had impacted me for several years before I found the catalyst for change in joining Toastmasters. It was a journey that had accompanied me from my youth into my professional life, so it took a considerable amount of time before I recognized the need for change and took that first step toward overcoming it.

Once I started on this path, however, the positive changes and improvements began to accumulate gradually, transforming not only my social anxiety but also my overall outlook on life.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Overcoming social anxiety was a transformative journey, and it was a culmination of various steps that, when taken together, allowed me to break free from its grip.

One of the most significant actions I took was joining a Toastmasters club. This provided a structured and supportive environment to improve my public speaking and communication skills.

I started small by attending meetings and gradually progressed to giving speeches, which were initially nerve-wracking but eventually became more comfortable. The club’s positive and constructive feedback helped build my confidence and minimize my fear of judgment.

Seeking professional help was another pivotal step. I consulted a coach who specialized in anxiety. During our sessions, I learned to identify and challenge irrational thought patterns that fueled my social anxiety. My coach helped me reframe these negative thought patterns and taught me strategies to manage anxiety in real-time.

Additionally, self-acceptance played a critical role. I learned to embrace my uniqueness and let go of the need to conform to societal norms. It was a process of acknowledging that it’s okay to be different and that my differences were not something to be ashamed of. I shared my story with like-minded individuals at Toastmasters, and their acceptance and support reinforced the idea that it’s okay to be myself.

If someone is in a similar situation, I recommend taking these steps as a starting point. Join a supportive group or organization that aligns with your goals, whether it’s Toastmasters or another community that allows you to practice social interaction and public speaking.

Seek professional help from a therapist or coach who specializes in anxiety. Their expertise can guide you in managing your anxiety effectively. Most importantly, remember that self-acceptance is a powerful tool.

Embrace your uniqueness, seek support from a like-minded community, and challenge negative thought patterns. These steps, when combined, can pave the way for significant progress in overcoming social anxiety.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I did not initially feel comfortable discussing my struggle with social anxiety with friends and family members. It took time and a growing self-acceptance to feel comfortable sharing my journey.

The first time I talked about it was in a speech in my Toastmasters club. Sharing my experiences in this supportive environment was a relief and helped me feel less isolated. Everyone was supportive and understanding; it helped me connect with them.

Eventually, as I began to overcome my social anxiety and gained more confidence, I became more comfortable discussing it with more people. I started writing about my experiences in a blog.

This process of opening up about my mental health struggles was a journey in itself, one that reflected my progress in managing social anxiety and finding self-acceptance.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

If I could offer one piece of advice to someone who is struggling with social anxiety, it would be to embrace self-acceptance and self-compassion. What I know now that I wish I had known earlier is that our harshest critic often resides within ourselves.

For years, I believed that social anxiety defined me, and it took a toll on my self-esteem and happiness. I wish I had understood sooner that it’s okay to be different, to have unique qualities, and to not fit into societal norms.

Understanding that social anxiety is not a life sentence and that it can be overcome through self-acceptance and finding a supporting community was a game-changer for me.

Recognize that it’s perfectly normal to have fears and insecurities, but these should not dictate the course of your life. Seek support, whether through therapy, coaching, or sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family member.

You don’t have to face social anxiety alone, and there is a path to healing and self-discovery. By accepting yourself as you are, you can transform your relationship with social anxiety and unlock a world of possibilities.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think: This book provides practical techniques for identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that contribute to social anxiety. It helped me learn how to reframe and replace unhelpful thoughts with more positive ones.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me on my website, or find me on Instagram.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Overcame Social Anxiety and Became a Confident Coach to Help Others Do the Same appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi there! I’m Stephanie, a photographer based in a small town in Wisconsin. I’ve been running my own photography business for 10 years now, and my number one passion is capturing life’s moments through my lens.

I also love reading and learning new things, and I consider myself a happy person. For me, happiness is a choice, and I’ve worked hard to overcome my inner critic that tells me I’m not good enough.

I am in a relationship with a wonderful person. He is also a photographer, so we have lots of fun together. I live with my son and our cat Leo. 

I love books and learning new things. One of my favorite topics to read about is mindset training. Being in charge of my thoughts- versus, letting them consume me. 

Being in charge of my thoughts means that I have more control over my life- and that means that I get to decide if I want to be happy or not.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I was diagnosed with PTSD around the age of 40, but I had been struggling for much longer. I was aware of my symptoms, but I didn’t know the extent of my trauma until a friend told me about Brainspotting. I found a therapist who specialized in Brainspotting, and we began working together.

The first step in Brainspotting is to assess the client’s symptoms and identify any underlying trauma. My PTSD stemmed from the trauma I endured when I became pregnant with twins at 16.

They were born prematurely and both struggled with ongoing health problems. One of them developed cerebral palsy, and the other struggled with ADD and a nonverbal learning disorder.

At 16, I was ill-equipped to handle a pregnancy, let alone a traumatic delivery, and having twins in the NICU for three months. While the focus was on the babies, as it should be, I was struggling with the shock of an unwanted pregnancy and the premature birth of my children. The stress, fatigue, loneliness, and isolation took their toll on me. I had no outlet, no community, and no support.

I lived with this trauma for many years, and it held me back in many ways. I couldn’t develop deep relationships with other people because I couldn’t develop one with myself. PTSD impacted my entire life.

Now, looking back at the trauma and fear I experienced starting at the age of 16, my heart hurts for that girl. She was literally living with the trauma of the preterm labor, the medical issues, the family issues, and everything else. There was no way even an adult could handle that on their own. It affected my entire life.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I never understood why I couldn’t just be happy. I would beat myself up over it, wondering why I couldn’t be content with my beautiful home and fulfilling life. But my PTSD and trauma had a profound impact on my happiness and the happiness of my family.

I tried to hide my anxiety and fears from everyone, but they often left me feeling depressed, tired, and isolated. I was always trying to be better than the person I thought I was.

My trauma was buried so deep that it had become a part of my identity. I really thought I was a bad person and that I was unworthy of happiness. I didn’t realize that there was a different way to think or live.

All the things that should have made me feel better – a gym membership, hiking in nature – made me feel worse. I felt numb and empty, and I was angry at myself for not being able to enjoy them. Trauma and my inner critic ruled my life.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

In March 2022, I decided to take a month in Santa Barbara to figure out my life. Being in a new town gave me the space to see who I really was and what I wanted.

I went to Zumba, joined a meditation group, and went for walks on the beach. I finally felt safe, and I began to heal the fear and trauma I had accumulated over the years.

During that month, I realized that I needed to get divorced and move into my own space. It was a difficult decision, but it was the right one for me. I was finally ready to be myself and to live the life I wanted.

After I left my marriage, my life began to change rapidly. I started to understand the books I had read about mindset, joy, and gratitude. I realized that I was in control of my thoughts and feelings and that I could choose to focus on the things that brought me joy.

I now feel free to express myself, and I am using my voice to help others feel good about themselves, to make a difference, and to make choices for themselves.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Being a teen mom was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I felt insecure, alone, unworthy, and ashamed. It breaks my heart to write this because I can still feel all of those emotions.

If you’re struggling with these feelings, for any reason, I want you to know that I love you. I don’t know you, but I know your struggles, your heart, and the strong love you give out. You just haven’t found a safe place to receive that love back yet. But I love you.

I know the courage it takes to just be here, to show up every day. I know how hard it is just to be you. And even if you think your strength is gone and you want to give up, you have to keep going.

There are good people in the world who really do just want you to be happy. You have to use your strength to find those people. But first, you have to find a safe place to be yourself.

All the therapists, walks, hikes, and motivational books in the world won’t help you until you’re in a safe place to receive the love and kindness you deserve.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

A single piece of advice I would give is that don’t worry about what other people think. You have to do you. Until they have walked a mile in your shoes- they cannot give you advice or judge you. The second thing, learn meditation. It’s a literal lifesaver.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.
• The Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk.
• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, also love Eat, Pray, Love!
• Meditations with Sara Mclean (Youtube). 
• Sue Bryce Podcast– here’s my favorite.
• Prince Charming Isn’t Coming By Barabara Stanny.
• Soul Without Shame by Byron Brown.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me here, or on Instagram, LinkedIn and Facebook.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

I would love to talk about my morning routine for happiness and abundance! It is a huge part of who I am and why I am able to choose happiness.

Every morning, I stay off social media and write out my day hour by hour on paper. This helps me silence my overactive, judgy, and critical mind later in the day when it’s at its loudest. After taking my son to school, I walk my dog and then meditate for 10-15 minutes, usually with a guided meditation on YouTube or with relaxing music.

I schedule time into my day for walks with my dog, coffee with a friend, or an afternoon hike. And every day, I try to do at least one thing that will make me happy. I literally ask myself, “What could I do today that makes me happy?” And I do it!

I had a marketing coach who would always say, “What makes you happy? What makes you joyful?” I really appreciated that question because if you’re not happy, you’re not going to attract clients!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Therapy and Meditation Helped Me Navigate Birth Trauma as a Teen Mom appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi! I’m Beth, and I live in Philadelphia with my two teenage children and our two adorable dogs. We love the bustling grittiness of the city and all the charm that it holds, but the best part is being surrounded by my very animated Italian family.

I love spending time with my family, reading, writing, and watching movies of every genre…from Marvel to Musicals and everything in between. I also love to travel and look forward to taking the kids to Europe this summer.

I’ve been blessed with a successful career in sales and marketing that has spanned three decades. So, yes, I am happy as I work at it daily. I’m very intentional about cultivating and maintaining my happiness, as that was not always the case.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I’ve struggled with depression throughout my life. 2020 was the perfect storm in every aspect of my life that didn’t just knock the wind from my sails—it sank the entire ship. Rock bottom. Lowest of lows.

A romantic break-up seven years far past its expiration date. I lost my job the week after I closed on a new home. Losing my beloved father to COVID-19 in the very early stages of the pandemic. Social isolation.

All of it contributed to a crippling depression that essentially rendered me emotional roadkill. This was not my first encounter with depression. I first experienced depression after the birth of my first child, who was born two months premature.

The fear and trauma of the experience necessitated counseling and prescription medication, and I was so grateful for their therapeutic assistance.

I experienced another depressive episode following my divorce—the reality of only having my children half the time torpedoed me, given their young ages.

No one talks about that part of the equation, and I was not ready for it. I was inconsolable without them. Once again, counseling and antidepressants were my savior.

Those two experiences primed the pump so that when 2020 hit so hard, I could recognize it for what it was…depression and take proactive steps to combat it.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

Hopeless. I abandoned every health habit in my life and just wallowed in my depression. My coping mechanisms were a master class in what not to do:

Isolation, ruminating thoughts of my father dying by himself, alone and scared, surrounded only by occasional strangers in hazmatlike PPE clothing (this was a particularly effective form of emotional cutting and torture); junk food; not getting out of bed or showering; not answering my phone; and lots of wine—like red Solo cups full.

I was a train wreck. Plain and simple.

Since it was during the social isolation and stay-at-home order of the pandemic (California was particularly strict), my family and friends had no idea. Many found out for the first time when they read my book.

Because on top of the depression, I was ashamed. I was ashamed of how hard I had fallen. Shame is the worst …as it imprisons you to suffer in silence.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

Yes, there was a specific a-ha moment, actually. I was at rock bottom for a few months—a fact further underscored the day I realized I was walking around the house with my head down. I mean literally, not figuratively.

This realization was a rude awakening. I couldn’t believe I’d let my circumstances defeat me in the way that they had. I knew then that I needed to pivot ASAP for myself and my two beautiful children.

I was determined to do whatever it took, whatever was recommended, whatever worked to move the needle from rock bottom to mountaintop. I drank from the fire hydrant of positive psychology and voraciously read articles, research papers, and books on the topic.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I became an intentional warrior about everything—thoughts/affirmations, diet, sleep, exercise, gratitude, faith, social support, vision, goals, etc. Literally everything. Cultivating happiness is a constant practice.

Your daily life, ergo your state of mind, is dictated by your daily choices—day in, day out. Small, consistent steps are the foot soldiers that win the crusade for hope and happiness. You have to be in it to win it.

This means living with intention and not just operating on autopilot; creating a life based on choices, not habits; and practicing the sort of person you want to be each day.

Sounds simple? It is. But it’s not easy. It takes commitment and intention. Full stop.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Once on the other side of depression, I decided to repurpose the pain. For some reason, recounting my journey from roadkill to redemption was important. I wanted to share the simple strategies that helped me escape from rock bottom.

And once I started, the words poured from what felt like the floodgates of my soul. Corny, perhaps, but gutting yourself in black and white print can be even more harrowing than having lived it in Technicolor. Unsure where it was heading, I was willing to let the words lead.

A quote from Brené Brown served as my guiding principle while writing the book. Simply stated, “One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.”

This was such a beautiful notion of paying it forward, removing any grandiose inklings of ego from the equation and instead focus on what someone else may possibly gain from my story.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I don’t regret the dark threads that color my life tapestry as it’s part of its ultimate beauty. Part of my story. I emerged more present, compassionate, and grateful. Resilient and stronger. Softer even.

But most importantly, I am rooted by having happiness habits be the norm rather than the exception. That way, next time a storm comes (and it will come), my happiness will not be easily swayed, helpless like a leaf in the wind.

And that is my wish for everyone.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

There are several books that I re-read regularly because the lessons are so profound they are worth revisiting again and again.

Specifically, I love Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

From Veep to Boss to Happiness Junkie, persuasive storytelling is my superpower. I’m thrilled to add “author” to that list as my book, Happy AF: Simple Strategies to Get Unstuck, Bounce Back, and Live Your Best Life, will debut in November 2023.

I would love to connect with readers. Feel free to reach out at the following:

• My website
• Instagram
• X / Twitter

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

Happiness is being present in the now. There is no happiness destination. The journey is the destination. There is no happy when, happy because, or happy if. The Deferred Happiness Plan sucks. Its compounding interest annihilates happiness in the now. Obliterates it, actually.

Don’t wait on something, someone, or some event to be happy. Just be happy. Now. Being fully immersed in the present is integral to happiness. Happiness is a choice, not a result.

Also, rock bottom can actually be a springboard for something even better. To remember that being knocked down doesn’t define you. It’s our bounce that defines us.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Journey From Rock Bottom to Living With Intention and Cultivating Happiness Everyday appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hello, I’m Justyna, and I currently live in the heart of London with my wonderful boyfriend.

For the past few years, I’ve been working in a Business Support role at a prestigious London University. Recently, I’ve also started my own coaching business, dedicated to helping women find fulfillment in their careers and family lives.

When I’m not spending time with loved ones or hitting the gym, you’ll usually find me diving into the world of research, particularly related to mental and physical health and a sense of purpose. Learning something new every day is my biggest passion.

As for happiness, I’ve never felt more content. To me, it’s all about the journey of aligning my actions with my values and desires. I’m finally being true to myself, and that’s what makes me genuinely happy.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

My mental health journey has been an intricate odyssey that began in my teenage years. It all started when I transitioned to junior high school and stopped dancing ballet, which had been a significant part of my life.

Dancing ballet and performing on stage made me feel unique, important, and confident among my peers. However, leaving that behind left me feeling like I didn’t quite fit in with “normal” teenagers. 

During this challenging period, my best friend was my rock. We shared everything deeply, and their support helped me navigate these life-changing moments. However, as high school progressed, my best friends distanced themselves from me, seeking new friendships.

I felt I had become too dependent on them, and their decision to end our friendship during my final year of high school was devastating. I found myself without friends and support during a crucial time when I was preparing for exams that would determine my future.

Determined to escape my sad reality, I carried on with a plan my best friend and I had made earlier to study abroad in the UK. I couldn’t envision my life in Poland, as it seemed like everything had come to an end there. After high school graduation, I packed my bags and headed to England to work and eventually start university.

Although I didn’t get into the degree I had initially hoped for, I chose to study maths, which had been a source of comfort during my challenging teenage years.

My journey in England was marked by new experiences, meeting amazing people, and starting university. But it also came with its own set of difficulties. Studying math in a foreign language was tough, and I struggled to make friends as many people already had established connections.

I felt excluded and lonely once again, leading me to isolate myself and distance myself from family and friends. I became a people-pleaser with the friends I did have contact with, pretending everything was fine and prioritizing their needs over my own well-being.

Eventually, I failed my first year of university, and later my grandmother’s passing added to the emotional turmoil. I decided to move to London where I pursued psychology with cognitive neuroscience.

While my academic life improved, I faced challenges at work. I became emotionally involved in a restaurant job, taking on more responsibilities without adequate support. The manager’s behavior towards me was inappropriate, I experienced sexual verbal abuse and I ultimately left the job.

Then the pandemic hit, and I struggled to find employment, leading me to move to South London for an underpaid job. I felt like an outsider among coworkers of the same nationality who imposed their rules on me. Despite a seemingly friendly general manager, there were mixed signals and uncomfortable situations. I decided to quit once more, feeling voiceless.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

During my teenage years, I became increasingly introverted and shy, feeling like I didn’t quite fit in. Stopping ballet, something that had made me feel special, was a major turning point. I went from being a class leader to just another face in the crowd.

I embarked on a journey to rediscover myself and find where I truly belonged. I became very private about my feelings and distanced myself from family and friends.

Leaving my home country and studying abroad presented its own set of challenges. I experienced months of intense loneliness, barely leaving my student hall. I slept during the day, avoiding people for weeks. I felt emotionally numb, happy for others’ successes but powerless in my own life.

Living conditions in my accommodation, including a lack of heating and bedbugs, only made things worse. I couldn’t envision a future, thinking that maybe not everyone could be happy, and perhaps I was meant to sacrifice for others, not find happiness myself.

When I failed at university, my parents urged me to make a quick decision about my future, not wanting me to take a gap year. Surprisingly, this pressure forced me out of my depressive state and compelled me to act. I secured a spot at a university in London, a city that felt incredibly daunting and vast at the time. Despite my reservations, I decided to embrace this opportunity and planned to relocate as soon as possible.

In the early years of my London journey, I grappled with loneliness. I pushed myself to socialize with co-workers and went on numerous dates, but despite my efforts, I struggled to form genuine connections with anyone.

During this time, I changed jobs frequently, holding nine different positions over five years. Unfortunately, I found myself consistently unhappy in these roles.

I either overworked myself or felt disrespected due to my gender or nationality, which severely impacted my self-esteem and my belief that things could ever improve.

It was baffling to me that, despite my knowledge and skills, I often felt like my management and friends treated me as if I were expendable, rather than appreciating my contributions. This constant treatment left me feeling exhausted, powerless, and as if I were worth no more than a bag of garbage.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

After completing my bachelor’s degree, I decided to pursue a master’s in occupational psychology, driven by my desire to understand how organizations could treat employees without respect and still expect exceptional performance. Concurrently, I secured a position in higher education where, for the first time, I felt valued as a human being. 

Life finally seemed to be on an upswing until the unexpected passing of my father while I was deeply engrossed in writing my dissertation. It was a shattering blow at a time when I had begun to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Despite this heartbreaking setback, one of the reasons I pressed on was to ultimately achieve distinction in my dissertation, as I didn’t want to burden my mom with any additional stress.

My grief became a catalyst for change, prompting me to embark on a profound journey of self-discovery. It was during this period that I unearthed my core values and redefined how I wanted to lead my life. I began contemplating the future, cultivating deeper connections, and learning to appreciate the people around me.

These changes allowed me to grow closer to my family and develop a healthier, more meaningful relationship with my boyfriend. Together, we began to envision a shared future and charted the path toward it, aligning our goals and aspirations.

I would say it took me around 5 years of constant battle until my dad’s passing away was the moment when the world stopped for me, but it didn’t stop for others. So, I had to learn how to start living my new life, and I am still learning.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

When my world came to a halt, I found myself in survival mode. Even though I didn’t want to, I knew I had to take steps to benefit my body and mind.

So, I started attending gym classes to tend to my physical health, aiming to strengthen my mental resilience and surround myself with individuals on similar journeys towards positive change.

It was at the gym that I crossed paths with a few remarkable women who became my gym buddies, holding me accountable for our shared commitment to attending classes regularly.

Simultaneously, I began reestablishing connections with my family, making it a point to communicate with them on a weekly basis. I also started prioritizing quality time with my boyfriend and friends.

My travels to visit family in Poland increased significantly during the year my dad passed away. I found myself flying back around five times, often for birthdays and special occasions, which was considerably more frequent than in previous years combined.

During this time, journaling became a vital outlet. I began writing letters to myself, documenting how I felt each day and expressing my hopes for brighter days ahead. It was a roller coaster of emotions.

I diligently worked on maintaining a healthy routine, focusing on regular exercise, adequate sleep, nourishing meals, and no alcohol, all while engaging with positive, supportive individuals. However, there were still moments of struggle.

After several months, when I began to sense a gradual return of control over my life and felt that I was navigating my grief a bit more effectively, I decided to seize an opportunity and explore life coaching. This experience played a pivotal role in helping me recognize and celebrate my achievements.

It allowed me to start feeling genuinely proud of myself and gradually boosted my self-esteem and confidence. Through this transformative process, I discovered the powerful, resilient woman I had always been but had struggled to unleash.

I’m now much more conscious of what I’ve overcome, the milestones I’ve achieved, and my unwavering potential to create the life I’ve always envisioned.

In the process, I made the tough decision to distance myself from certain friends. I realized I was putting in more effort than I received, and it became frustrating when my efforts weren’t fully appreciated.

I didn’t feel the support I needed, so I reevaluated my friendships, choosing to invest my energy only in those who reciprocated and valued our connection. This period was intense, spanning several months to a year, and I acknowledge that I’m still a work in progress.

What truly aided my healing journey was persistently taking care of my mental and physical health, even when all I wanted was to do nothing and indulge in sugary treats.

I kept pushing forward, and my healthier body became a cornerstone for nurturing a healthier mind. Furthermore, having people I could trust and be completely authentic with significantly expedited my healing process.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

Opening up about my struggles became a pivotal moment in my healing journey, and it only happened after my dad passed away. At that point, I felt compelled to share my thoughts and emotions with my boyfriend and my closest friends, individuals who had undergone similar experiences.

I initiated these conversations because I wanted them to understand the emotional turbulence I was going through. I needed them to know that if I inadvertently hurt them, it was never my intention.

However, when it came to strangers or friends who had a habit of monopolizing conversations and not truly listening, I wasn’t comfortable discussing my struggles with them.

Additionally, I wanted to shield my mom from the initial wave of grief as things were still incredibly fresh and raw. It felt easier to confide in individuals I trusted implicitly, those who genuinely cared about my well-being and were willing to create a space where I could talk without the pressure of being cheered up.

As time passed, sharing my mental health struggles became more natural, especially with my family. I grew more mature and processed a substantial amount of emotions.

Nowadays, I engage in deep conversations with my sisters, working through various topics together. This level of openness and support has become possible because we’ve collectively put in the effort to address our past experiences, helping us connect on a profound level.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

You have more power over your life than you are giving yourself credit for.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Personal Life Coaching enabled me to recognize my value, my achievements, and my boundless inner strength.
• Podcast: Diary of CEO provided me with valuable insights and strategies for optimizing both my mental and physical well-being
• The book Unfuck Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life by Gary John Bishop made me recognize the self-imposed limitations I’ve placed on myself, realizing that I am the sole obstacle preventing me from attaining the things I truly desire
• The book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver made me understand that miscommunication within relationships is often a complex interplay of various factors, not simply a matter of blaming others or myself.
  It’s about how we perceive conflicts, appreciate differing perspectives, and consider multiple contributing elements. As a result, I no longer take things as personally as before. I’ve gained a deeper understanding of people’s underlying intentions, and I’m less quick to become easily disheartened.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

I am very active on my TikTok account and Youtube channel where I share some tips and tricks to improve everyone’s daily life. You can also find me on Linkedin or read more on my website.

Is there anything else you think we should have asked you?

In today’s world, I actively promote open dialogue about challenges, with a strong desire to ensure that everyone feels heard and truly understood. It’s become evident that genuine conversation has become a rarity, where few truly listen or deeply care about your thoughts and emotions.

This unfortunate reality often leads people to believe they must turn to therapists to process their feelings. It’s disheartening because there’s another way.

My personal journey of self-discovery illuminated the profound importance of active listening. I learned that contributing isn’t always necessary; sometimes, all that’s needed is a compassionate ear.

This realization is one of the driving forces behind my decision to start my own business, where I assist women in clarifying their aspirations, affirming that their dreams are attainable, and guiding them on the path to achieving those dreams—all while safeguarding their mental well-being. I firmly believe that you can achieve everything you desire, but it requires a focused approach, tackling one aspect at a time

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Journey From Moving Abroad and Loneliness to Finding Happiness in Myself appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, my name is Veena Nair! I’m 48 years old and I am from India.

I live in a small town, Palakkad, in Kerala state. I am married to a Naval Electrical engineer and we have 2 sons. I am a retired naval officer from the education branch and am presently not employed.

I love music and dance, especially Indian classical music and dance. I am a student of my native dance form, Mohiniyattamm, and am also learning to play the instrument, Veena, for the last 10 years.

I also pursue spirituality very passionately as a means of making myself a better person day by day. For me, spirituality has been my pillar of strength and has helped me to refine and define myself.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

One year after I joined the Indian navy, I got married. This was in the year 2000. I moved and was just not comfortable with the environment, the type of people I was surrounded with. After we got married, I found my husband to be very different from how I knew him. He would talk less and come back home, sit, and just watched TV.

In the meantime, I was expected to manage the household. I started feeling lonely at that moment. We would never go out on weekends and talked little to each other. I started feeling lonely and depressed, cursing why I got married in the first place.

Seven months after we got married, I got pregnant and felt very happy at the thought of being a mother. However, as days progressed, I started feeling more and more tired, lonely, and depressed, and started gaining weight.

One day, I even started thinking of committing suicide. I used to cry a lot without reason. One day, I mentioned to my husband that I feel like jumping from the thirteenth floor where we were staying. But the only thought that stopped me was my child.

I was referred to a psychiatrist and he told me that I was experiencing clinical depression and advised me to do a lot of walking to avoid medicines. But my condition did not improve, and therefore I was put on fluoxetine during my 7th month of pregnancy and admitted to the hospital for a month.

I was very happy in the ward with my female friends and was just not feeling like coming home. Meanwhile, my parents came and I started feeling at home. They were with me during my delivery and post-delivery and I could continue my work only because of their unconditional support.

My husband, at that time, was very insensitive and selfish, a different person from who I knew.

From my understanding, I was not compatible with my husband. As a result, I developed a strong dependence on my parents, which my husband did not like at all.

I was on medication from 2002 to 2006 and finally, my psychiatrist told me to stop my medicines in December 2006. I consider that day a big successful moment for me. I did it all by myself with God’s grace.

I feel lonely and depressed at times, but only momentarily. With social media, YouTube, and of course books and a bunch of good friends, I have been able to stay on track.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I feel that I fell into depression because of my inability to handle my marriage.

But I also believe in the saying that there are no accidents and everything happens for a reason. I had to evolve as a person, but didn’t and that’s why I got into a depression. My parents could see me struggle and my husband too after some time.

Thankfully, he became empathetic to me and completely changed.

In our place, any sort of mental illness is a taboo. My parents never mentioned my struggle to our relatives. My father always believed that it was my marriage that wrecked me and always used to feel guilty because of it.

My husband also hid these aspects from his parents, and so they too did not know what was going on.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

In my earlier days of depression, I was always searching for a why?

As part of my search, we went to an astrologer. He mentioned that our relationship would become better if we visited Rameshwaram and take a Dampathi Snanam (it’s taking a bath in the ocean as a couple – taking a dip 45 times).

My husband has been raised by a communist father and he was never into spirituality. I strongly believe that things started changing for the better after this event, which I came to call my divine intervention.

By this time, my older son was 6 years old and we had our second son a year later. My husband had changed and was now very affectionate and took good care of me during my pregnancy.

According to Sanatana Dharma philosophy, everything happens because of the supreme power. The whole world is functioning at his will. We cannot control external situations, but it is our responsibility to take care of our inner world. Our mind.

While it is true that our environment impacts us, we can choose to step away from toxic environments. I have the responsibility to change myself only. The rest will take care of itself.

Spirituality helped me evolve as person and that reflected in my actions. Spirituality is a constant process. Lord Krishna mentions in Bhagavad Gita that the spiritual process extends to birth after birth. He mentions that helping humans is the real service to God, and that is the essence of spirituality.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

I have an overactive mind and I just cannot sit idle. Whenever I am not working, I try to keep myself busy by attending courses, learning something new, and pursuing passions and spiritual practices.

It is our duty to take care of ourselves. Prioritizing yourself is not selfish. The body and mind are connected and hence it is essential to take care of both.

I value the mind more than the body. So for me, it is very important to exercise, read, watch good content, be in the company of good people, sleep well, and meditate.

It does not matter which religion you follow, God is one and it does not matter in which form we pray. All we need is an open heart and good intentions.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I mostly talked about my struggles with my parents. My husband knows my struggles too, together with some of my close friends.

I never discuss these things with people who are incapable of understanding and are judgmental. Being judgemental is not good. It only sends negative energy to the other person. It is mentioned in Bhagavad Gita to be in the company of good people – people who inspire you and help you to grow.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Human beings are social, and so we need to be surrounded by good people. People whom we can trust and ask for help.

If that’s not an option, ask for help from the almighty. He will send somebody with the answer. Do not suffer and lose hope.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins.
• If Truth Be Told: A Monk’s Memoir by Om Swami.
• Happiness Unlimited by Sister Shivani.
• Autobiography Of A Yogi by Paramhamsa Yogananda.
• The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can connect with me on LinkedIn!

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post My Story of Spirituality: How it Helped me Deal With Loneliness and Depression appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

I’m Michelle Giordano, I am a Community Counselor and Outreach Specialist for Live Another Day. After earning degrees in Community Counseling, Psychology, and Sociology, I have worked in a variety of clinical settings including an Inpatient Treatment Hospital, IOP treatment facility, and a Substance Abuse/Recovery Outpatient Treatment Center.

I am based in the U.S., I’m married, and I have a pet monitor lizard. My passion is to touch as many lives as possible, in a positive way. I am big on making impacts and my line of work helps me to make a difference in individual lives.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I struggled with loneliness and depression.

The bad emotions that can arise when your demands for social interaction aren’t met are referred to as loneliness. It’s acceptable to occasionally cherish your alone time.

In fact, solitude may promote relaxation and recharging. You could require more alone time than another person to feel your best because everyone has varied needs for it.

However, loneliness and being alone are not nearly the same. You’re less likely to feel negatively lonely or yearn for social interaction when you’re enjoying your isolation. Loneliness and isolation frequently go hand in hand, and both can have an impact on physical and mental health.

As a psychologist, I’m aware that the terrible global problem of loneliness has evolutionary roots. Feelings of loneliness serve as a warning of isolation and remind us of the corresponding anguish. Lack of necessary social connections and lack of affection in existing social relationships are two characteristics of loneliness. 

As a result of my struggle with loneliness, I began to self-isolate. I felt hopeless and felt like interactions were a chore. Everything was an endless loop of routine and I could not wait for each day to end.

It started when the pandemic started. The lockdown didn’t help matters because it just gave me opportunities to be even more alone and lonely. 

I was initially in denial, but then it began to progress because I was nonchalant about it. 

It has its moment, I didn’t always let it show because I got better at hiding it until I couldn’t anymore.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

At my worst moment, this struggle of loneliness had me feeling hopeless. I was in an endless loop of sadness and I didn’t feel like seeking help. 

I tried to hide it, but eventually, it began to show. My partner began to notice differences in my style, mood swings, wanting to be excluded from plans, and my endless need to cave in at any slightest discomfort.

Eventually, I began to feel like I was losing everything, including my mind. I felt like I was pushing everyone that mattered to me away. I began to realize that it wasn’t just about me and gradually, I began to open up more.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

My struggle impacted me for almost the entire year 2020. Towards the end of 2020, when the lockdown was getting bearable and more relaxed, that’s when I started to turn things around.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

One thing I did to overcome my struggle with loneliness was to volunteer and participate in community events. I volunteered at the children’s and youth center, and I helped to organize rewarding events. I made sure that my participation in these activities didn’t only distract me, but that it also felt rewarding.

It kept me motivated, it got me closer to people and I positively impacted the lives of others.

I also adopted a monitor lizard, it was a weird choice but I have not regretted it.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I felt comfortable talking to my partner, but besides that, I only talked about it with very few of my trusted friends. 

I didn’t feel confident talking about it at work, because I was afraid that they’d gossip about it or talk about how hypocritical it was for a psychologist to get caught up in the same battle she helps others to fight. 

I’m now unashamed to share my struggles because when I meet someone with a similar struggle, my experience helps them to be comfortable and confident.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

I wish that people would be more understanding. I also wish that I didn’t hesitate for too long before seeking help. Now that I know the reason for my struggle, I wish that I didn’t let it get to me for so long.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

The Lonely City: Adventures in the Art of Being Alone by Olivia Laing – This book explores the theme of loneliness through the lives and works of artists such as Edward Hopper, Andy Warhol, and David Wojnarowicz. Laing delves into the complexities of loneliness and how it can lead to a deeper understanding of the self and human connection.

It helped me to connect more with myself, explore the dynamics of my current relationships, and how my perception of loneliness depended on how I looked at it and what defined loneliness to me.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

People can find me here at Live Another Day.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Michelle Overcame Loneliness by Volunteering in her Community appeared first on Tracking Happiness.