Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hi, I’m Katy! While I currently reside on the island of Montreal, Canada, my roots trace back to a small town nestled along the majestic Temiscouata Lake. 

After having conquered the challenges of social anxiety, I discovered my life’s purpose. Today, I am a proud Social Anxiety Coach and Certified Hypnotherapist. 

Being able to guide others on their journey towards self-confidence is not just my profession but a genuine passion. It’s incredibly rewarding to witness the transformation and empowerment that my clients experience as they break free from the shackles of social anxiety. 

Through coaching and hypnotherapy, I empower individuals to rewrite their narratives, step into their true selves, and discover the strength they never knew they had. The sense of purpose and fulfillment I derive from this work is beyond words, and I feel truly blessed to walk this path.

As for happiness, it was not always the case, but my journey has led me to a place of contentment and joy. Life’s twists and turns have taught me that happiness isn’t a constant state but a series of moments we must savor.

Today, I find happiness in the connections I forge, the smiles I share, and the positive impact I have on the lives of others.

In this beautiful journey of self-discovery, I’ve learned that true happiness comes from embracing our authentic selves, and that’s a gift I strive to pass on to those I have the privilege to coach and support.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I used to struggle with social anxiety for as long as I can remember.

I felt an intense fear of judgment, criticism, and a belief that I didn’t fit in or that something was inherently wrong with me. The fear of being singled out or negatively evaluated in social situations was constantly present in my life. This fear manifested as physical symptoms like trembling, blushing, and rapid heart rate when I had to speak in public or engage in conversations.

I was always a shy and introverted child, which continued into adolescence. My struggle was significantly influenced by growing up in a small town where I felt like I didn’t fit in.

My racial background set me apart, and I internalized the belief that being different was something to be feared and ashamed of. The fear of judgment and criticism from others deepened during these crucial years, leading to a heightened sense of social anxiety.

Over time, my social anxiety developed into a pervasive force that impacted every aspect of my life. From avoiding social situations to self-censoring in conversations, it became a constant companion, restricting my growth and happiness.

However, the turning point came when it started impacting my performance at work. I had trouble expressing myself in meetings, and my boss told me to find a solution. I decided to confront and address this struggle head-on by joining a Toastmasters club.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

My struggle with social anxiety made me feel utterly isolated and profoundly unhappy. It was as if a dark cloud of self-doubt and fear constantly loomed over me. I felt like an outsider, disconnected from the world around me.

The anxiety was relentless, and it gnawed at my self-esteem and overall well-being. Happiness seemed like an elusive dream, something that others could experience but remained out of my reach.

The impact on my happiness was severe. I found myself avoiding social situations, which led to missed opportunities for personal and professional growth. The sense of isolation and loneliness was overwhelming.

The struggle with social anxiety prevented me from forming meaningful connections and enjoying the richness of life’s social interactions. It wasn’t merely a fleeting discomfort; it was a pervasive and persistent presence that tainted my experiences.

For a long time, I tried to hide my struggle from those around me. I didn’t want to burden others with my internal battles, and I was ashamed of my perceived inadequacies.

It wasn’t always clear to others that I was grappling with something so significant since I had been struggling for so long. They were not able to notice any changes. I

It wasn’t until I started my journey of self-acceptance and sought help that I began to open up about my social anxiety. It was a liberating step towards healing and recovery.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

The fear of speaking up in meetings or making presentations became a significant barrier to my career advancement. I knew I couldn’t let this anxiety define my future any longer.

The change began when I decided to join a Toastmasters club, which provided a supportive environment for me to work on my public speaking skills and overcome my social anxiety.

My decision to take the initiative to join this club was a pivotal step, and it was driven by my own determination to break free from the limitations social anxiety had imposed on me.

My struggle with social anxiety had impacted me for several years before I found the catalyst for change in joining Toastmasters. It was a journey that had accompanied me from my youth into my professional life, so it took a considerable amount of time before I recognized the need for change and took that first step toward overcoming it.

Once I started on this path, however, the positive changes and improvements began to accumulate gradually, transforming not only my social anxiety but also my overall outlook on life.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Overcoming social anxiety was a transformative journey, and it was a culmination of various steps that, when taken together, allowed me to break free from its grip.

One of the most significant actions I took was joining a Toastmasters club. This provided a structured and supportive environment to improve my public speaking and communication skills.

I started small by attending meetings and gradually progressed to giving speeches, which were initially nerve-wracking but eventually became more comfortable. The club’s positive and constructive feedback helped build my confidence and minimize my fear of judgment.

Seeking professional help was another pivotal step. I consulted a coach who specialized in anxiety. During our sessions, I learned to identify and challenge irrational thought patterns that fueled my social anxiety. My coach helped me reframe these negative thought patterns and taught me strategies to manage anxiety in real-time.

Additionally, self-acceptance played a critical role. I learned to embrace my uniqueness and let go of the need to conform to societal norms. It was a process of acknowledging that it’s okay to be different and that my differences were not something to be ashamed of. I shared my story with like-minded individuals at Toastmasters, and their acceptance and support reinforced the idea that it’s okay to be myself.

If someone is in a similar situation, I recommend taking these steps as a starting point. Join a supportive group or organization that aligns with your goals, whether it’s Toastmasters or another community that allows you to practice social interaction and public speaking.

Seek professional help from a therapist or coach who specializes in anxiety. Their expertise can guide you in managing your anxiety effectively. Most importantly, remember that self-acceptance is a powerful tool.

Embrace your uniqueness, seek support from a like-minded community, and challenge negative thought patterns. These steps, when combined, can pave the way for significant progress in overcoming social anxiety.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I did not initially feel comfortable discussing my struggle with social anxiety with friends and family members. It took time and a growing self-acceptance to feel comfortable sharing my journey.

The first time I talked about it was in a speech in my Toastmasters club. Sharing my experiences in this supportive environment was a relief and helped me feel less isolated. Everyone was supportive and understanding; it helped me connect with them.

Eventually, as I began to overcome my social anxiety and gained more confidence, I became more comfortable discussing it with more people. I started writing about my experiences in a blog.

This process of opening up about my mental health struggles was a journey in itself, one that reflected my progress in managing social anxiety and finding self-acceptance.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

If I could offer one piece of advice to someone who is struggling with social anxiety, it would be to embrace self-acceptance and self-compassion. What I know now that I wish I had known earlier is that our harshest critic often resides within ourselves.

For years, I believed that social anxiety defined me, and it took a toll on my self-esteem and happiness. I wish I had understood sooner that it’s okay to be different, to have unique qualities, and to not fit into societal norms.

Understanding that social anxiety is not a life sentence and that it can be overcome through self-acceptance and finding a supporting community was a game-changer for me.

Recognize that it’s perfectly normal to have fears and insecurities, but these should not dictate the course of your life. Seek support, whether through therapy, coaching, or sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family member.

You don’t have to face social anxiety alone, and there is a path to healing and self-discovery. By accepting yourself as you are, you can transform your relationship with social anxiety and unlock a world of possibilities.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think: This book provides practical techniques for identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that contribute to social anxiety. It helped me learn how to reframe and replace unhelpful thoughts with more positive ones.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can read more about me on my website, or find me on Instagram.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How I Overcame Social Anxiety and Became a Confident Coach to Help Others Do the Same appeared first on Tracking Happiness.

Contents

• Who are you?
• What is your struggle?
• How did you feel at your worst moment
• When did you turn it around?
• What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?
• Who did you share your struggle with?
• Your best piece of advice?
• Books and resources
• Learn more

Hello! Who are you?

Hey, I’m Evander! I hail from The Hague in The Netherlands, and I am absolutely thrilled to say that I run my own business as a personal trainer. I am passionate about inspiring and supporting people to achieve their best possible health through personalized nutrition and exercise plans. 

On top of that, I also proudly serve in the Army Reserves, which gives me the opportunity to make a positive impact in my community and beyond.

By the way: Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control.

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

What is your struggle and when did it start?

I want to share my story about overcoming racism and facing bullies. While it’s never easy to talk about, I believe that by sharing my experiences, I can inspire others who may be going through the same thing.

I first experienced racism when I was around 10 or 11 years old, growing up in a small suburban town where being one of the only black kids meant standing out in a big way. It started with what seemed like harmless jokes and teasing, but over time, it became more hurtful and damaging to my self-esteem.

When my family moved to a new city, I went to an even more all-white community and unfortunately, the racism persisted. I was subjected to name-calling and even had gum put in my afro. It was tough, but I knew that I had to rise above it.

How did this struggle make you feel at your worst moments?

I felt completely alone and unhappy. I was dealing with the effects of racism, which made me feel like I was being judged and excluded simply because of the color of my skin. It was frustrating and disheartening, and even though I wasn’t being bullied as severely as others, the discrimination still had a significant impact on my happiness.

What made things even more challenging was that I didn’t have many friends, and I didn’t feel like I could talk to my father about what I was going through. It was a very isolating time for me, and I felt like I was on my own to try to figure things out.

Share your story: Help thousands of people around the world by sharing your own story. We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Was there a moment when you started to turn things around?

One day, some kids put a whole pack of gum in my afro hair, and my stepmother had to cut it out because it was too sticky.

I remember my father coming home from work and seeing all this happen, just to get super angry that I let it happen in the first place. Being the military man he is, he decided it was time I learned to stand up for myself.

The next morning, my father woke me up at the crack of dawn and drove me to a kickboxing gym two hours away. As I stepped inside the gym, the sight of tattooed, muscular men punching each other to the sound of Eminem music made me feel intimidated.

Even though I was skeptical, my dad signed me up for the gym. I spent an hour every weekend practicing kickboxing and another hour sparring with him in the attic. 

Though it was challenging and uncomfortable at first, I quickly learned that the sport was about more than just hitting your opponent. The gym was filled with respect, openness, and friendliness, and everyone was eager to help me improve while still pushing me forward.

As I continued to train, I began to feel more confident and happier. I even made new friends in the gym.

Now, at 12 years old and with a few years of kickboxing under my belt, I was relaxing on a swing in the playground in front of my house when I saw the same kids who had put gum in my hair. Their leader, Gale, approached me and wanted to fight.

My father watched from the kitchen window, but when I looked at him for help, he only shook his head. I knew I had to handle the situation myself.

The moment Gale walked up to me, he tried to kick me. It only took me 2 punches for him to give up and walk back toward his house with his head bent down.

I never saw him again after that day.

What steps did you take to overcome your struggle?

Don’t let racism and bullying isolate you from others. When I was faced with these challenges, my father taught me how to stand up for myself and without him, I probably would never have.

I found out that 99% of all bullies are trying to act like someone they are not. I’ve faced racism and bullying many times, but I always stood firm and the bullies always backed down. I never had to fight anyone (outside of the gym) because I was confident in my ability to defend myself if the need arose, and the bullies could sense it.

If you want to fend off bullies, start building your confidence.

In many cases, there may only be one or two bullies in a group, with the rest of the group simply following the leader. If you want to make a difference and improve the situation, it’s important to confront the leader, rather than focusing on the followers who may be too weak to stand up on their own.

When facing racism, it’s important to not fall into the role of a victim. Self-pity won’t help you overcome the situation.

Instead, think about what you need to do and who you need to become in order to change things. If you need to learn self-defense, then do it. If you need to confront the leader of the bullies, summon your inner strength and do it, even if it’s difficult. 

I can assure you that taking action will make you feel better.

Have you shared any of this with people around you in real life?

I’ve kept my story to myself for the most part. Apart from my father, I don’t think anyone truly knows the challenges I’ve faced.

And you know what? That’s perfectly fine. I don’t need others to pity me or understand my struggles in order to feel great.

If you could give a single piece of advice to someone else that struggles, what would that be?

Building a strong and healthy body can give you the confidence you need to stand up for yourself in any situation, whether it’s through sports or other physical activities. Not only does physical exercise benefit your physical health, but it also contributes to a strong mind and increased self-confidence. 

Even highly successful individuals like Mark Zuckerberg recognize the importance of physical training, as evidenced by his daily MMA practice. 

So, start investing in your physical health today and discover how it can empower you to take control of your life.

What have been the most influential books, podcasts, YouTube channels, or other resources for you?

• David Goggins helped me realize that if you want to take action the best day to do it was yesterday. The next best day is today. If you want to take action do not procrastinate.
• David Goggins’ words have motivated me to embrace more challenges, and I am currently undertaking a self-imposed regimen known as monk mode. This involves 280 days of disciplined focus on my goals through diet, exercise, and meditation. Additionally, I came across the Welcyon blog, which has provided me with valuable workout tips and tricks that have further energized me to keep pushing forward.
• Another technique that gave me a motivational boost was to begin journaling regularly. According to Jo Larsen, putting our thoughts into words can be more emotionally impactful than simply thinking about them, and can be a powerful tool for overcoming obstacles and moving forward.

Where can we go to learn more about you?

You can find more about me on my website or on my Twitter.

By the way: If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here.

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Download The Free Cheat Sheet

Want more interviews?

Continue reading our inspiring case studies and learn how to overcome mental health struggles in a positive way!

Want to help others with your story? We would love to publish your interview and have a positive impact on the world together. Learn more here.

Hugo Huijer Author

Founder of Tracking Happiness, with over 100 interviews and a focus on practical advice, our content extends beyond happiness tracking. Hailing from the Netherlands, I’m a skateboarding enthusiast, marathon runner, and a dedicated data junkie, tracking my happiness for over a decade.

The post How Evander Faced Bullies and Racism by Focusing on Self-Improvement appeared first on Tracking Happiness.